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OF  SEVERAL  EMINENT 


METHODIST  PREACHERS.  W 


WITH    AK    ACCOUNT    OF 


illEia  CALL  TO  AND  SUCCESS  IN  THE  MINISTRY. 


IX    A    SERIES    OF    lETTEIlS, 


i^ritten  b^  €l^zm0tlUfi, 


JOHNWESLEY,  A.  M. 


25altimore, 

PUBLISHED  BY  RICHARD  J.   MATCHETT, 

N.  E.  Comer  of  Gay  &  Water  Streets. 

1831. 


FROM  THE  OLD  EDITION. 


THS  lives  of  good  men,  when  justly  set  forth,  have 
ever  been  esteemed  by  the  truly  wise,  as  a  most  valu- 
able treasure.  They,  as  a  cloud  of  witnesses,  bear  their 
testimony  in  favour  of  godliness,  and  greatly  encourage 
mankind  to  imitate  their  pious  examples.  Nevertheless, 
biographers  have  generally  been  looked  upon  as  a  set  of 
writers,  who  are  not  very  scrupulous  respecting  the  truth; 
hence  they  have  frequently  been  despised  by  men  of  dis- 
cernment, and  their  writing  but  little  regarded.  There 
can,  however,  be  no  such  objection  brought  against  the 
following  Narratives:  for  they  were  written  by  the  per- 
sons themselves,  who  are  men  of  the  greatest  probity,  and 
still  in  being.  This  being  the  case,  they  might  easily  be 
detected,  if  any  thing  contrary  to  truth  were  found  in 
their  writings. 

Moreover,  the  facts  mentioned  in  the  accounts  thej 
have  given  of  themselves,  were  many  of  them  transacted 
in  public,  and  there  are  multitudes  ot  persons,  both 
friends  and  enemies  to  the  preachers,  wlxo  can  witness 
the  truth  of  what  they  declare. 

But  what  will  principally  recommend  them  to  all  lo- 
vers of  pure  and  undefiled  religion  is,  that  they  contain  a 
more  rational  and  scriptural  account  of  Christian  Ex- 
perience, than  any  yet  offered  to  the  Public. 


A    SHOUT  ACCOUNT 


jsm^  9®mM  ®Aws®iT. 


TO  THE  REV.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

Rm,  Sir, 

I  was  born  at  Thorner,  near  Leeds,  in  York- 
shire, in  the  year  1737.  My  parents  were  repu  • 
table  people,  belonging  to  the  church  of  England, 
and,  though  strangers  to  the  life  and  power  of  re- 
ligion, would  not  suffer  me  to  run  headlong  into 
the  vices  of  the  age,  but  brought  me  up  in  the 
fear  of  God,  and  gave  me,  according  to  their  abi- 
lit?}%  a  good  education.  My  father  being  in  the 
building  business,  brought  me  up  in  the  same 
way;  on  which  1  entered  in  the  fifteenth  year 
of  my  age. 

At  this  time  I  was  serious,  and  had  no  desire 
to  follow  the  multitude  to  do  eviL  I  attended 
the  service  of  the  church  constantly,  and  met  in 
a  small  sociaty  of  church  people,  belonging  to  the 
High-church  in  Hull,  where  I  lived  with  my  bro- 
ther-in-law. Whether  these  were  acquainted  with 
the  power  of  religion  I  know  not,  as  I  was,  at 
that  time,  an  entire  stranger  to  it  myself;  yet  I 
did  not  doubt  but  all  was  well  with  me,  and 
thought  if  I  died  I  should  certainly  be  happy  with 
God. 

About  the  year  1755, 1  fell  in  company  with  two 
persons  who  talked  much  concerning  the  people 


KXPEHIENCK  OF 


I 


called  Methodists.  I  had  then  an  hatred  against 
them  above  all  others,  supposinsf  them  to  be  a 
weak  and  wicked  people.  I  condemned  them 
altogether;  and  had  no  desire  either  to  hear  them 
preach  or  to  read  any  of  their  writings.  But  from 
the  account  that  one  of  them  gave  of  his  wife,  who 
was  a  Methodist,  I  began  to  have  a  more  favorable 
opinion  of  them;  and  thought  I  should  be  glad  to 
hear  riiem.  Accordingly,  I  went  one  evening 
with  an  intention  to  hear;  but  when  I  came  to  the 
door  I  was  ashamed  to  go  in,  and  so  walked  round 
the  preaching  ho'use,  and  returned  home. 

About  the  year  1756,  I  began  to  follow  my  bu- 
siness at  Harewood-house,  the  seat  of  Edwin  Las- 
celles,  Esq.  Here  I  fell  in  with  a  company  of  ve- 
ry wicked  young  men;  and.though  I  was  preserv- 
ed from  following  them  into  gross  sin,  yet  I  was 
now  a  greater  enemy  to  the  Methodists  than  ever. 
But  about  the  year  1758,  a  young  women,  who 
was  a  Methodist,  lent  my  father  two  sermons, 
preached  at  the  parish  church  in  Leeds,  by  the  revs 
Mr.  Henry  Crooks,  of  Hunslet.  He  read  them, 
and  recommended  tliem  to  me.  In  reading  these, 
I  began  to  see  that  I  was  not  in  a  state  of  salvation. 
I  saw  first,  that  justification  by  faith  was  the  doc- 
trine of  the  church  of  England;  and  secondly,  that 
the  scripture  teaches  it  as  necessary  to  salvation. 
I  also  saw  that  the  Methodists  were  the  people  of 
God,  and  that  they  preached  no  other  doctrine 
than  that  which  I  found,  even  in  my  prayer  book. 

I  now  began  to  spend  my  leisure  hours  in  read- 
ing such  books  as  treat  on  that  subjectj  and  was 
astonished  that  I  could  not  see  these  things  before. 
In  the  latter  end  of  June,  I  went  to  Otly,  to  hear 
a  Methodist  preach,  when  I  Avas  more  surprised 


MR.   JOHir    FAW30.V.  5 

than  ever.  The  serious,  devout  behaviour  of  the 
people,  struck  mc  with  a  kind  of  religious  awe. 
The  singing  greatly  delighted  me,  and  the  ser* 
mon  was  much  blest  to  my  soul.  They  suffered 
me  to  stay  in  the  society -meeting,  for  which  I  had 
great  cause  to  bless  God.  I  returned  home  full 
of  good  resolutions;  but  little  thought  what  trials 
were  coming  upon  me.  I  thought,  certainly  none 
who  love  me  can  be  offended  at  my  seeking  the  sal- 
vation of  my  soul:  but  I  soon  found  my  mistake; 
for  those  who  had  formerly  been  my  greatest 
friends,  now  became  my  open  enemies.  All  my 
relations  were  exceedingly  offended,  and  threaten- 
ed me  much,  if  I  would  not  leave  this  way.  My 
uncle  in  particular,  who  before  promised  to  be 
kind  to  me,  now  resolved  to  leave  me  nothing; 
which  resolution  he  made  good.  My  father  and 
mother  were  exceedingly  troubled,  supposing  me 
to  be  totally  ruined;  and  my  brothers  and  sisters 
were  of  the  same  mind;  my  father  threatened  ma- 
ny times  to  turn  me  out  of  doors,  and  entirely  to 
disown  me;  but  the  love  he  had  for  me  (I  bein'g 
his  eldest  son)  moved  him  to  use  every  means  he 
could  think  of,  to  prevail  on  me  to  forsake  this 
despised  people,  whom  he  hated  above  all  others: 
he  mourned  to  see  mc  "run  wilfully  to  my  own 
ruin."  My  mother  also  frequently  wept  much 
on  my  account. 

This  was  indeed  a  time  of  great  trial  to  me. 
My  father's  threatening  to  disinherit  me,  did  not 
trouble  me  at  all;  but  the  consideration  of  the  dan- 
ger their  souls  were  in,  distressed  me  exceeding- 
ly. I  therefore  did  not  regard  what  I  suffered, 
so  my  parents  might  be  brought  out  of  their  Egyp- 
tian darkness.     To  this  end,  I  bought  the  best 

1* 


0  EXPfiRIENCE   OF 

books  I  could  meet  with;  some  of  which  my  father 
read,  but  it  seemed,  to  no  good  purpose. 

About  this  time  my  brother  was  awakened, 
and  also  my  younger  sister's  husband.  Aiy  el- 
dest sister  and  her  husband  likewise  began  to  have 
a  favourable  opinion  of  this  way.  This  made  my 
father  more  severe  with  me,  supposing  I  was  the 
occasion  of  all  this  mischief.  For  the  present  he 
prevailed  on  my  brother  to  hear  this  preaching 
no  more.  However,  it  was  not  long  before  he 
set  out  in  the  way  of  salvation.  My  father,  when 
he  saw  he  was  so  far  from  gaining  ground,  that  he 
was  continually  losing  it,  grew  exceeding  uneasy, 
and  knew  not  \\hat  course  to  take.  However,  he 
now  entered  upon  a  new  scheme:  he  began  to  be 
mild  and  gentle,  and  to  use  soft  words.  He  told 
me,  I  might  buy  what  books  I  pleased;  only  I 
must  not  go  to  hear  the  preaching.  I  might 
learn  as  much,  if  not  more,  by  reading  Mr.  Wes 
lev's  writings  than  by  hearing  the  lay -preachers. 
He  said  the  Methodists  being  a  people  so  univer- 
sally hated,  it  would  ruin  my  character  to  go 
among  them. 

I  now  found  it  hard  work  to  withstand  my  fa- 
ther's good  nature.  Accordingly,  preaching  be- 
ing one  sabbath-day  near  our  house,  I  could  not 
break  through.  When  it  was  over,  I  walked  into 
the  garden,  and  wept  bitterly.  From  thence  I 
went  into  a  solitary  place,  where  no  one  might  see 
me,  and  bemoaned  myself  before  the  Lord.  Oh, 
the  anguish  I  then  felt !  I  was  scarcely  able  to  look 
up.  My  father  soon  found  me,  and  took  me  into 
the  fields  to  see  the  grass  and  corn.  But  this 
could  afford  me  no  relief;  he  was  greatly  troubled 
on  my  account,  supposing  that  I  should  run  dis- 


MK.   JOHN   I'AWSQN. 


tracted.  We  returned  home  in  time  to  attend 
the  service  of  the  church:  and  in  the  eveninsji,-,  ac- 
cording to  onr  custom,  we  read  in  our  ou  n  house; 
when  i  hud  done  reading,  my  father  seemed  to 
approve  of  what  I  read.  I  was  glad,  and  began 
to  speak  to  him  in  as  mild  a  manner  as  I  could; 
but  he  was  soon  much  oftended,  and  said,  "1  find 
"thou  art  now  entirely  ruined.  I  have  used  eve- 
"ry  means  I  can  think  of,  but  all  to  no  purpose. 
"I  rejoiced  at  thy  birth,  and  I  once  thought  thou 
"was  as  hopeful  a  young  man  as  any  in  this  town; 
"but  now  1  shall  have  no  more  comfort  in  thee,  so 
"long  as  I  live.  Thy  mother  and  I  are  now 
"grown  old,  and  thou  inakest  our  lives  quite  mis- 
"erable:  thou  wilt  bring  down  our  gray  hairs 
"with  sorrow  to  the  grave;  thou*  intendest  to 
"make  my  house  a  preaching-house,  when  once 
"my  head  is  laid;  but  I  shall  take  care  it  shall 
"never  be  thine.  No;  I  will  leave  all  I  have  to 
"the  poor  of  the  parish,  before  the  Methodists 
"shall  have  any  thing  to  do  with  it." 

I  was  exceedinglv  affected  while  he  spoke  in 
this  manner.  He  then  desired  me  to  jjromise  I 
would  hear  this  preaching  no  more.  1  told  him 
(when  I  could  speak  for  weeping)  that  if  I  could 
sec  a  sufficient  reason,  I  would  make  him  that 
promise;  but  not  till  then.  He  replied,  "Well, 
"I  see  thou  art  quite  stupid:  1  may  as  well  say 
"nothing:  the  Methodists  are  the  most  bewitch- 
"ing  people  that  ever  lived;  for  when  once  a  per- 
"son  hears  them,  it  is  impossible  to  persuade  them 
"to  return  back  again. "  I  then  left  him,  and  went 
to  bed;  but  my  trouble' was  very  great.  I  was 
tempted  to  think  that  I  was  disobedient  to  my 
parents;  but  I  clearly  saw  that  I  must  obey  God 


KXPKRIENCE  OF 


rather  than  man;  and  that  I  must  obey  them  only, 
so  hr  as  was  consistent  with  his  will. 

My  brother  and  I  now  began  to  take  sweet  coun- 
sel together:  and  we  strove  to  oblige  our  parents 
with  all  our  might;  taking  particular  care  that  no 
business  was  neglected  on  account  of  our  going 
to  hear  preaching.  We  frequently  prayed  toge- 
ther in  our  bed  chamber,  and  several  times  my 
mother  got  upon  the  stairs  to  hearken:  at  last  she 
desired  to  join  in  prayer  with  us.  Afterwards  my 
father  listened  upon  the  stairs,  and  after  some 
time,  he  also  desired  to  join  with  us. 

The  minister  of  the  parish  now  began  to  be  ap- 
prehensive that  he  should  lose  my  father,  and  with 
him  the  whole  family.  In  order  to  prevent  this, 
he  carefully  gathered  all  the  false  accusations  he 
could  hear  of  against  the  people,  and  brought 
them  to  my  father.  He  laboured  with  all  his 
might,  both  in  public  and  private,  to  make  them 
appear  detestable;  by  so  doing,  he  created  me 
much  trouble.  I  told  my  father  that  these  things 
were  entirely  false:  but  he  was  so  provoked,  that  I 
thought  he  would  make  good  his  former  resolution 
of  quite  disowning  me.  However,  I  thought  I 
would  write  to  him  my  whole  mind:  accordingly, 
I  began  by  shewmg  him  the  wretched  state  of  my 
soub  and  the  danger  I  apprehended  to  be  continue 
ally  hanging  over  my  head,  i  then  expostulated 
with  him,  and  asked,  "What  worse  am  I  in  any 
•'respect,  since  I  heard  the  Methodists?  am  I  diso- 
"bedient  to  you  or  my  mother  in  any  other  thing? 
"Do  I  neglect  any  part  of  my  business?  Must  not 
"every  one  be  accountable  to  God  for  himself? 
*^Doth  our  law  condemn  any  man  be/ore  it  hears 
*^him  and  knows  what  he  doth?  Why  then  do  you 

V 


MR.  JOHN  PAWSON. 


''condemn  the  Methodist  preachers  whom  you 
*'have  never  heard?  If  you  Avill  hear  them  only 
"three  times,  and  then  prove  from  the  Scripture 
"that  they  preach  contrary  thereunto,  I  will  hear 
"them  no  more."  My  father  read  this  letter,  ac- 
cepted of  the  proposals,  and  accordini^ly  went  to 
hear.  He  seemed  to  like  the  first  tolerably  well; 
the  second  he  did  not  like  at  all;  the  third  he  ap- 
proved of  very  much,  and  went  to  hear  a  fourth, 
which  he  liked  better  than  all  the  rest:  yet  he  was 
not  convinced.  However,  he  now  began  to  pray, 
that  the  Lord  would  shew  him  the  way  of  salva- 
tion. A  little  after  he  went,  on  a  Sabbath  morn- 
ing, into  the  stable,  where  he  thought  no  body 
could  hear  or  see  him,  and  prayed  earnestly  to  the 
Lord.  Here  it  was  that  the  light  of  the  Holy  Spi- 
rit broke  in  upon  him:  he  now  had  a  clear  sight  of 
his  sinful  and  lost  condition,  and  was  brought  in- 
to such  distress,  that,  like  David,  he  roared  for 
the  very  disquietness  of  his  soul.  He  was  now 
ashamed  and  confounded,  and  could  hardly  hope 
for  mercy.  This  was  a  day  of  glad  tidings  to  me: 
a  day  which  I  trust  I  shall  thankfully  remember 
as  long  as  I  live.  I  now  had  liberty  to  cast  in  my 
lot  with  the  people  of  God,  which  I  immediately 
did-  My  father  also  invited  the  preachers  to  his 
house.  Accordingly,  he  prevented  my  turning 
it  into  a  preaching-bouse  (as  he  had  formerh^  said  j 
by  doing  it  himself.  From  this  time  we  had 
preaching  in  our  own  house,  and  all  the  family 
(which  were  eight  in  number) joined  the  society: 
this  was  about  January,  1760. 

For  some  time,  though  I  knew  myself  to  be 
without  God  in  the  world,  1  was  dull  and  unaffect- 
ed xmd  often  applied  these  words  to  myself, 


10  EXFERIENCE  OF 

"Still  every  means  in  vain  I  try, 

"I  seek  him  far  and  near; 
'•Where'er  I  come,  constrain'd  to  cry, 

«'My  Sariour  is  not  here. 

"God  is  in  this,  in  every  place, 

"Yet  0,  how  dark  and  void! 
"To  me  'tis  one  great  wilderness, 

"This  earth  without  my  God." 

About  this  lime  the  Lord  began  to  revive  his 
work  among  us:  my  father  having  received  the 
preaching  into  his  house,  many  of  our  neigh- 
bours came  to  hear;  our  society  also  increased, 
which  was  matter  of  great  joy  to  me;  but  it  was 
my  continual  prayer,  that  the  Lord  would  take 
away  my  heart  of  stone,  and  give  7ne  a  heart  of 
fiesh.  I  cried  day  and  night  unto  him,  that  he 
would  give  me  a  broken  and  a  contrite  hearty  and 
it  was  not  long  ere  he  inclined  his  ear.  I  went 
to  hear  the  word  at  a  neighbouring  village,  when, 
in  the  beginnhig  of  the  service,  iht  power  of  God 
came  mightilyi  upon  me  and  many  others.  All 
on  a  sudden  my  heart  was  like  melting  wax,  my 
soul  was  distressed  above  measure.  I  cried  aloud 
with  an  exceeding  bitter  cry;  the  trouble  and  an- 
guish of  spirit  that  I  laboured  under,  far  exceed- 
ing all  description.  The  arrows  of  the  Almightj 
stuck  fast  in  my  flesh,  and  the  poison  of  them 
drank  up  my  spirits;  yet  in  the  height  of  my  dis- 
tress I  could  bless  the  Lordj  that  he  had  granted 
me  that  which  I  had  so  long  sought  for.  I  now 
sought  the  Lord  with  my  whole  heart,  and  ne- 
glected no  opportunity  of  hearing  his  word,  or  of 
waiting  upon  him  in  every  means  of  grace ;  yet 
many  times  I  did  not  hear  one  half  of  the  sermon, 
my  distress  being  so  exceeding  great.  I  had 
such  a  clear  sight  and  deep  sense  of  my  exceed- 


MR.   JOHN  PAWSOX.  11 


ing  sinfulness,  that  I  was  humbled  in  the  dust. 
I  daily  walked  mournfully  before  the  Lcrd. 
The  things  of  this  world  were  made  quite  bitter 
to  me:  I  could  take  no  delight  in  any  of  them, 
my  mind  being  so  occupied  with  grief  for  ray 
past  sins,  and  with  desire  to  be  delivered  from 
them.  My  business  became  a  burden  to  me:  I 
was  quite  confused,  and  brought  very  low;  so  that 
any  one,  who  looked  on  me,  might  see  in  my 
countenance  the  distress  of  my  mind:  for  I  was 
on  the  very  brink  of  despair. 

One  morning  as  I  walked  in  the  fields,  be- 
moaning myself  like  Ephraim  of  old,  my  heart 
sunk  within  me  like  a  stone,  and  I  was  about  to 
conclude  that  it  was  all  in  vain  for  me  to  expect 
any  mercy.  But  the  Lord  would  not  suffer  the 
Spirit  to  fail  before  him,  and  the  soul  v/hich  he 
had  made.  He  revived  my  drooping  heart  with 
that  comfortable  word,  "O  tarry  thou  the  Lord's 
"leisure:  be  strong,  and  he  shall  comfort  thine 
heart."  I  was  now,  for  a  season,  enabled  both  to 
hope  and  quietly  to  wait  for  the  salvation  of  God, 

About  this  time  one  of  my  acqaintance  was 
brought  to  enjoy  a  clear  sense  of  the  love  of  God, 
when  he  had  only  heard  about  three  sermons. 
This  utterly  confounded  me:  I  could  in  no  wise 
account  for  it.  I  did  not  consider,  that  one  day 
with  the  Lord  is  as  a  thousand  years.  I  thought 
he  was  deceived,  and  that  it  was  impossible  he 
should  be  converted  so  soon;  but  the  next  morn- 
ing the  preacher  gave  public  thanks  to  God  on 
his  account.  I  was  then  constrained  to  believe 
all  was  well  with  him.  I  returned  home,  and  im- 
mediately retired  into  my  chamber;  but  here  I 
had  not  sufficient  opportunity  to  give  vent  to  my 


lii  EXPERIENCE    OF  < 

grief:  I  therefore  walked  into  the  barn,  where  I 
thought  no  one  could  see  or  hear  me.  Here  I 
prayed,  and  wept,  and  roared  aloud,  my  distress 
being  greater  then  I  was  well  able  to  bear:  yet  I 
was  not  quite  without  hope,  but  expected,  vile  as 
I  was,  that  the  Lord  would  at  last  be  gracious  • 
unto  me.  But  I  was  not  so  private  as  I  supposed; 
for  I  found  my  brother  was  in  another  part  of  the 
barn,  in  as  great  distress  as  myself;  and  my  father 
and  mother  soon  heard  our  cries,  and  came  to 
us,  and  in  a  litde  time  my  eldest  sister  and  her 
husband.  We  were  now  six  in  number,  and  all 
in  the  same  distress.  I  suppose,  if  some  of  th^ 
good  Christians  of  the  age  had  either  seen  or  heard 
us,  they  would  have  concluded  we  were  all  quite 
beside  ourselves.  However,  though  the  children 
were  brought  to  the  birth,  there  was  not  strength 
to  bring  forth.  I  continued  destitute  of  comfort, 
but  stedfastly  purposed  to  abide  as  at  the  door  of 
mercy. 

One  Saturday  evening  I  went  to  a  litUe  village 
to  hear  preaching;  and  it  being  a  new  place,  abun- 
dance of  people  gathered  together,  'ih^  power 
of  God  so  accompanied  the  word  that  many  be- 
gan to  tremble.  There  was  a  mighty  shaking 
among  the  dry  bones,  and  the  power  ot  ihe  Lord 
was  not  only  present  to  wound,  but  to  heal  also; 
for  this  niglit  my  father  found  redemption  in  the 
blood  of  Jesus,  and  the  preacher  gave  public 
thanks  on  his  account. — Wheii  I  heard  that  my 
father  had  obtained  mercy,  I  was  so  far  from  be- 
ing ?ble  to  rejoice  with  him  that  my  soul  sunk 
as  into  the  belly  of  hell  I  heard  very  little  of  the 
sermon,  but  continued  knteling  all  the  time  of 
service-,  and  after  it  was  ended,  I  still  continued 


it  it.    JOHN       i'A  WSON 


trembling,  weeping,  and  crying  aloud  for  mercy. 
I  returned  home  as  well  as  I  was  able,  for  my 
bodily  strength  was  quite  exhausted.  "My  head 
was  as  the  waters,  and  mine  e3'es  became  ai  a 
fountain  of  tears."  I xvastridy  will'mg  to  be  saved 
by  grace.  I  was  naked^  and  stripped  of  all.  I 
had  nothing  of  my  own  to  depend  upon  for  Ufe 
and  salvation.  I  had  nothing  to  pay;  no  money  or 
price  to  bring  with  me  to  procure  the  favour  of 
God, 

I  passed  this  night  in  sorrow  and  great  heavi- 
ness, and  was  glad  when  the  day  returned.  It 
was  the  Lord's  day,  and  the  preacher  intended  to 
^eet  our  society,  in  order  to  wrestle  with  God 
in  behalf  of  those  who  were  in  distress.  I  went 
with  a  heart  full  of  sorrow,  panting  after  the  Lord 
as  the  hart  after  the  water  brooks.  The  service 
began,  and  the  power  of  God  was  present  in  a 
wonderful  manner;  when  prayer  was  made  in  be- 
half of  those  who  were  in  distress,  I  was  bowed 
upon  my  knees  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  and, 
if  possible,  was  in  greater  anguish  of  spirit  than 
ever  before.  I  heard  one,  whose  voice  I  knew, 
cry  for  mercy  with  all  his  might,  as  if  he  would 
rend  the  very  heavens.  Quickly  after ^  in  the 
twinkling  of  an  eye^  all  my  trouble  was  gone,  my 
guilt  and  co?idemnation  were  removed^  Iwas  filled 
with  joy  unspeakable.  I  knew  by  experience  ^  that 
the  Lord  was  merciful  to  my  unrighteousness,  and 
remembered  my  sin  no  more.  That  lovt  of  God 
was  shed  abroad  in  my  heart.  I  loved  him  from 
an  experimental  sense  of  his  love  tome.  Ohow 
my  soul  triumphed  in  the  God  of  my  salvation! 
This  glorious  deliverance  was  wrought  by  his  Holy 
Spirit  applying  these  words ' '  Thou  art  mine^ '  some 
2 


14  EXPERIENCE    OF 

time  after,  my  brother  told  me  the  words  were 
in  the  prophecy  of  Isaiah:  I  rose  early  in  the 
morning  and  took  my  Bible,  which  I  opened  at 
random,  and  they  were  the  first  words  I  cast  my 
eyes  upon!  Isaiah  xliii.  1.  This  was  a  kind  of 
renewal  of  the  promise  of  God  to  me,  and  I  was 
enabled  to  praise  him  the  more. 

The  day  upon  which  the  Lord  brought  my  soul 
out  of  prison,  was  sabbath,  the  6th  of  March, 
;1760,  which,  I  trust,  I  shall  thankfully  remem- 
ber so  long  as  I  live.  The  change  passed  upon 
my  soul  was  exceeding  great.  I  was  brought 
out  of  darkness  into  marvellous  light— out  of  mi- 
serable bondage  into  glorious  liberty — and  out 
of  the  most  bitter  distress  into  unspeakable  happi- 
ness! I  had  not  the  least  doubt  of  my  acceptance 
with  God:  but  was  fully  assured,  that  he  was  re- 
conciled to  me  through  the  merits  of  his  Son,  who 
was  now  unspeakably  precious  to  my  soul.  I 
was  also  fully  satisfied,  that  I  was  horn  o/'God, 
or  renewed  in  the  spirit  of  my  mind,  and  I  could 
heartily  praise  the  Lord  that  he  had  taken  that  se- 
vere rnethod  in  bringing  me  home  to  himself. 
For  by  this  means,  my  justification  was  so  clear 
to  me  that  I  could  neither  doubt  nor  fear:  the  work 
of  the  spirit  of  God,  in  renewing  my  soul,  was 
also  the  more  conspicuous:  and  this  caused  me  to 
prize  the  liberty  into  which  I  was  brought,  and 
made  me  more  afraid  of  being  entangled  again 
with  the  yoke  of  bondage.  I  now  walked  com- 
fortably with  God,  enjoying  sweet  communion 
with  him.  I  could  both  do  and  suffer  his  will 
with  all  cheerfulness.  Yet  satan  soon  began  to 
assault  me,  and  laboured  to  perplex  me  with  evil 
reasoning;  telling  me,  I  should  not  always  have  so 


MR.  JOHN    PAW30N.  15 

great  a  value  for  God,  or  for  spiritual  things,  as 
i  now  had:  but  as  I  was  happy  for  the  present, 
I  did  not  regard  all  he  could  say,  knowing  that 
I  had  nothing  to  do  with  hereafter.  /  had  only 
to  live  by  the  faith  of  the  Son  of  God,  who  now 
appeared  as  altogether  lovely. 

About  six  weeks  after,  the  preacher  proposed 
dividing  our  little  society  into  two  classes,  and  de- 
sired me  to  meet  one  of  them.  This  was  a  sore 
trial  to  me;  but  when  he  insisted  on  my  doing  it, 
I  was  obliged  to  take  up  the  cross.  From 
the  first  or  second  time  I  met  it,  /  continual' 
ly  walked  in  the  light  of  God^s  countenance;  no 
creature  shared  my  affections  with  God;  but  I  serv- 
ed him  with  an  undivided  heart.  I  had  no  dis~ 
tressing  temptation,  but  had  constant  power  over 
all  sin;  so  that  1  lived  as  upon  the  borders  of  hea- 
ven. 

About  this  time,  my  eldest  sister,  and  my 
younger  sister's  husband  were  brought  into  the 
Christian  liberty;  and  a  litde  after,  my  mother  and 
younger  sister.  This  gave  me  fresh  cause  to 
Lless  the  Lord  for  his  goodness. 

December  28,  1760,  the  Lord  spoke  peace  to 
my  brother,  while  I  was  praying  with  him.  Now 
1  had  more  cause  to  praise  the  Lord  than  before. 
My  brother  had  laboured  for  a  whole  year  in  sore 
distress  of  mind,  and  was  many  times  brought 
to  the  brink  of  despair.  I  do  not  remember  to 
have  seen  any  one  in  the  like  circumstances  for  so 
Ions:  a  time.  But  God  broke  all  his  bonds  asun- 
dcr,  and  caused  him  to  walk  m  the  hght  of  his 
couiuenance. 

We  now  began  to  have  a  public  meeting  for 
praying  every  sabbath  evening,  but  had  no  person 


16 


EXPEniENCE  OF 


among  us  v/ho  could  give  a  word  of  exhortation. 
This  troubled  me  much;  for  I  was  afraid  the  peo- 
ple would  grow  weary  of  coming  together,  if  we 
continued  only  to  sing  and  pray,  as  they  were 
obliged  to  stand  or  kneel  all  the  time.  I  thought 
it  would  be  much  better  to  read  a  sermon  to  them, 
that  they  might  sit  down  a  little.  Accordingly, 
I  got  the  homilies  of  the  church,  which  were  en 
tirely  new  to  the  people.  These  I  read,  and,  as 
I  was  able,  explained;  in  doing  which,  I  found 
great  liberty.  This  proved  a  blessing  to  many. 
But  the  minister  of  the  parish  (being  an  open  en- 
emy to  all  that  is  good)  began  to  be  offended, 
and  laboured  to  prejudice  the  people  against  me. 
He  seemed  not  to  regard  what  he  said  either  in 
pul)lic  or  private,  if  by  any  means  he  could  turn 
the  people  aside.  But  they  did  not  regard  him: 
nay,  the  more  he  said,  the  worse  they  liked  him, 
so  that  when  he  saw  he  could  prevail  nothing,  he 
determined  to  leave  the  town,  which  in  a  little 
time  he  accordingly  did.  When  I  had  read  the 
most  profitable  of  the  homilies,  I  took  Mr  Burk- 
kt  on  the  New  Testament,  and  read  many  parti- 
cular passages  therein,  and  enlarged  where  I 
thought  it  needful. 

After  this,  I  began  to  take  the  Bible  itself,  and 
in  my  poor  manner,  expounded  part  of  a  chapter 
from  time  to  time:  and  notwithstanding  my  insuf- 
ficiency, much  good  was  done.  But  this  expos- 
ed me  to  fresh  trials:  the  people  from  the  neigh- 
bouring societies  began  to  invite  me  to  go  and 
give  them  a  word  of  exhortation;  but,  as  I  well 
knew  my  own  weakness,  I  absolutely  refused. 
But  the  assistant  prevailed  on  me  to  go  to  a  neigh- 
bouring town  on  a  Sunday  evening.     The  peo- 


MR.  JOHN  PAWSON.  17 

pie,  whether  I  would  or  not,  thrust  me  into  the 
pulpit.  I  trembled  exceedingly.-  however,  I 
spoke  as  well  as  I  could,  and  the  same  evening  re- 
turned home,  greatly  ashamed  of  what  I  had  said. 
I  was  in  hopes  they  would  trouble  me  no  more, 
but  so  far  was  I  deceived  in  this,  that  about  lady- 
day,  1762,  the  assistant  employed  me  among  the 
local  preachers.  I  now  knew  not  what  course  to 
take,  yet  I  durst  not  decline  the  work.  Howe- 
ver, I  was  almost  determined  to  remove  into 
some  distant  part  of  the  country,  but  the  love  I 
had  for  the  society  to  which  I  belonged,  would 
not  suffer  me.  I  was,  therefore,  obliged  to  do 
what  I  could,  and  1  found  God  was  with  me. 

In  August  following,  the  conference  was  at 
Leeds,  and  the  assistant  desired  me  to  attend,  I 
took  up  my  cross  and  went.  Several  young  men 
were  proposed  as  candidatesfor  travelling  preach- 
ers, and  I  among  the  rest.  When  you,  sir,  ask- 
ed me  if  I  was  willing  to  give  up  myself  to  the 
work,  I  told  you  I  was  conscious  of  my  inability, 
but  if  you  and  the  brethren  thought  good  to  make 
trial  of  me,  I  should  deliver  myself  up  to  you. 
Accordingly,  I  was  ordered  for  the  York  circuit. 
When  I  was  gone,  God  raised  up  my  brother  to 
take  my  place,  who  was  soon  as  wxll  beloved  by 
the  people  as  I  had  been.  I  had  till  now  met  a 
few  people  in  Hare  wood,  where  I  had  followed 
my  business.  I  had  suffered  much  in  my  mind 
on  their  account,  as  I  had  no  hope  of  any  settled 
preaching  there.  As  all  the  town  belonged  to 
one  gentleman,  I  thought  he  would  never  suffer 
it,  and  as  no  one  could  receive  the  preachers 
without  his  consent,  my  labour  would  be  in  vain. 
The  few  people  here  were  also  much  cast  down, 
2* 


18  EXFERJENGE    Of 

when  they  heard  I  was  going  to  leave  them.  But 
after  my  removal,  1  was  invited  to  preach  iimong 
them,  which  I  accordingly  did,  to  a  multitude 
who  came  together,  and  from  that  time  they  have 
hud  the  gospel  preached  among  them,  and,  to 
the  great  surprise  of  many,  without  any  of  that 
opposition  they  so  much  expected. 

I  now  entered  upon  my  circuit      Here  the  as- 
sistant behaved  to  me  with  all  the  tenderness  of  a 
parent,  aud  the  other  preachers  acted,  in  their 
places,  in  like  manner:  the  people  not  only  bore 
with  my  weakness,  but  seemed  glad  to  see  me 
wherever  I  came;  and  I  often  found  myself  un- 
speakably blest  in  speaking  to  them.     I  desired 
nothing  more  than  to  glorify  God  with  my  body 
and  spirit,  which  I  knew  he  had  redeemed.     Yet 
I  met  with  many  trials  from  various  quai'ters. 
And  in  many  places  the  press-gangs  attended  our 
preaching,   and  threatened  what  they  would  do; 
but  the  Lord  restrained  them.     In  other  places 
we  had  much  persecution,  especially  in  Beverly, 
where  the  magistrates  absolutely  refusing  to  do 
us  justice,  we  seldom  could  preach  with  any  de- 
gree of  satisfaction  to  ourselves,  or  those  who  de- 
sired to  hear  us.     When  we  complained  against 
three  young  men  who  disturbed  us  much,  and 
they  were  brought  before  the  mayor  and  alder 
men,  they  said  the  information  was  insufficient, 
being  only  signed  by  myself.     The  mayor  then 
insisted,  that  1  had  been  examined  upon  oath  be- 
fore him,  and  that  having  sworn  to  men  that  I  did 
not  know,  he  would  indict  me  for  perjury,  and 
send  me  to  York  Castle.     When  they  would  per- 
mit  me  to  speak,   I  told  them,  that  I  was  so  far 
from  having  taken  a  false  oath,  that  1  had  taken 


MR.  JOHN  P^W&ON,  19 

iio  oath  at  all;  that  there  were  now  present  three 
very  sufficient  witnesses,  who  would  all  make, 
oath,  if  it  was  required,  that  neither  I  nor  any 
other  person  had  taken  any  oath  on  the  occasion. 
When  they  heard  this  they  began  to  be  a  little 
more  calm;  but  as  they  were  determined  to  do  us 
no  justice,  we  quietly  withdrew.  However,  the 
work  of  God  prospered  much  in  those  parts  this 
year;  many  joined  the  society,  and  many  found 
reuemption  in  the  blood  ol  Jesus. 

The  next  year  I  and  three  others  were  order- 
ed into  the  Haworth  circuit.  VVe  found  the 
people  in  those  parts  in  a  very  languishing  con- 
dition. There  seemed  an  universal  mourning 
for  the  loss  of  that  eminent  servant  of  God,  Mr. 
Grimshaw,  who  died  the  year  before.  Many 
said,  farewell  to  all  prosperity  in  these  parts;  ihe 
work  of  God  will  come  to  nothing.  But,  to  our 
unspeakable  comfort,  there  was  a  blessed  revival; 
the  society  was  exceedingly  quickened  and  en- 
larged; and  it  m  as  thought  there  was  more  good 
done  in  this  one  year,  than  in  four  years  put  to- 
gether belnre. 

In  August,  1764,  1  was  ordered  for  Norwich. 
IT  ere  the  congregations  were  in  general  very 
I  rge,  while  our  society  increased  considerably. 
But  during  the  winter  we  had  almost  continual 
mobbing.  The  rioters  frequently  broke  the 
■windows,  interrupted  us  in  preaching,  and  abused 
the  people  when  service  was  ended  We  made 
complaint  to  the  mayor,  but  he  would  not  do  us 
ju-.tice;  encouraged  the  rioters,  and  led  them  to 
commit  still  greater  outrages. 

I  was  now  removed  to  Colchester  for  a  season, 
when  preaching  had  just  began  in  a  plane  about 


2®  EXPERIENCE    OF 

six  miles  from  it.  Here  they  did  not  treat  us  in 
a  friendly  manner:  the  mob,  being  encouraged 
by  the  church  wardens,  were  exceeding  violent. 
They  assembled  in  great  numbers  before  the 
house,  having  got  a  drum  and  a  large  quantity  of 
horns,  with  which  they  made  such  a  prodigious 
noise,  that  the  people  could  not  hear.  Meantime, 
the  constable  and  church  wardens  came  into  the 
house,  and  asked  me  if  I  would  go  with  them  to 
the  quarter  sessions  the  next  day.  1  told  them 
I  would.  They  said,  then  we  need  not  shew  you 
the  justice's  order.  I  then  desired  our  friends 
to  bring  my  horse.  They  said  you  had  better 
walk  to  the  end  of  the  town.  I  did  so;  the  mob 
gave  me  a  free  passage,  but  followed  me,  beating 
the  drum,  soundingtheir  horns>  and  shouting  with 
all  their  might.  I  walked  slowly  down  the  street 
before  them,  in  great  peace  and  tranquility  of 
mind.  When  we  came  to  the  town,  I  stopped 
till  my  horse  came.  They  now  encompassed  me 
on  every  side,  yet  none  of  them  struck  me,  or  so 
much  as  cast  any  dirt  or  stones  at  me,  although 
1  had  no  man  with  me.  But  after  I  was  gone, 
they  abused  the  poor  people  who  had  come  from 
Colchester  with  me,  very  much. 

The  next  day  I  appeared  at  the  sessions.  The 
principal  justice  was  a  clergyman  belonging  to 
the  cathedral  in  Canterbury,  a  very  candid,  sensi- 
ble gentleman.  He  said  he  would  not  have  me 
think  he  had  sent  for  me  by  way  of  persecution; 
but  as  complaint  had  been  made  to  him  by  the 
church  wardens,  and  others  of  the  inhabitants  of 
Nayland,  that  certain  strangers,  who  acted  in  the 
capacity  of  preachers,  had  come  at  unseasonable 
hours  in  the  night,  and  made  very  great  disturb- 


MR.  JOHN  PAW60N.  2,1 

ances  in  the  town,  he,  as  one  of  his  Majesty's 
justices  of  the  peace,  was  obliged  to  enquire  into 
it,  and  therefore  required  me  to  answer  lo  certain 
qitestiojis  drawn  up  in  writing.  He  read  tht  ques- 
tions, and  I  answered  them,  so  that  he  was  quite 
satisfied,  and  promised,  that  we  should  have  peace 
for  the  time  to  come;  but  hoped  we  would  for- 
give all  that  was  past. 

In  a  litdetime  I  returned  to  Norwich,  where  I 
spent  the  remaining  part  of  the  year  in  great  peace. 
We  WTre  obliged  to  preach  in  the  open  air  all  that 
summer.  We  had  also  a  good  prospect  of  a  re- 
vival of  the  work  of  God  in  Yarmouth,  having 
procured  a  convenient  chapel,  which  had  been 
built  for  the  Anabaptists.  We  had  abundance 
to  hear  from  time  to  time,  and  much  good  was 
likely  to  have  been  done:  but  one  of  our  leaders 
turning  Calvinist,  sowed  such  discord  among  the 
society,  that  noining  but  confusion  followed:  the 
people  scattered  so  eftectually,  that  the  wound 
then  given  could  never  be  healed. 

From  hence  I  went  to  Birstal,  in  Yorkshire, 
and  spent  a  year  with  much  satisfaction,  my  own 
soul  being  frequently  comforted,  while  the  work 
of  God  in  a  good  measure  revived. 

The  two  following  years  I  spent  in  Lancashire. 
The  first  of  which  was  exceeding  agreeable:  only 
the  death  of  my  dear  fellow  labourer,  Paul  Green- 
wood,  exceedingly  affected  me.  On  the  one  hand 
I  mightily  rejoiced  that  so  dear  a  servant  of  God 
was  taken  to  his  reward;  and  on  the  other,  I 
mourned  bitterly  at  the  loss  of  so  dear  a  friend- 
The  lasi  year  I  spent  in  these  parts  was  a  time  of 
great  trial  on  various  accounts. 


S2  EXPERIENCE    OIT 

From  Lancashire  I  went  to  Staffordshire,  and 
staid  only  one  year.  But  I  had  the  satisfaction 
to  see  the  work  of  God  greatly  revive;  many  new 
societies  were  raised,  and  a  considerable  number 
of  the  old  ones  were  quickened  and  established. 

The  two  following  years  I  spent  in  London, 
with  some  degree  of  satisfaction  both  to  myself 
and  others;  but  cannot  say  much  concerning  the 
success  of  my  labours  here. 

From  London  I  went  to  Bristol,  where  I  con- 
tinued three  years.  I  have  reason  to  bless  God, 
that  my  poor  labours  were  acceptable,  and,  I. 
hope,  in  some  measure,  useful  to  the  people. 

The  four  following  years  I  spent  about  Leeds 
and  Birstal,  in  Yorkshire.  In  the  latter  of  these, 
there  was  a  very  great  revival  of  religion.  Hun- 
dreds of  sinners  were  awakened,  and  turned  from 
the  evil  of  their  ways;  and  many  received  a  com- 
fortable assurance  of  the  favour  of  God. 

From  Yorkshire  I  am  again  returned  to  Lon- 
don. What  successes,  trials,  or  comforts  I  may 
meet  with,  I  know  not;  but  I  am  still  determined 
to  continue  at  my  master's  feet,  that  he  may  ful- 
fil in  me  all  the  good  pleasure  of  his  goodness, 
and  the  work  of  faith  with  power. 

With  regard  to  the  Arminian  conti-oversy,  al- 
though I  have  frequently  heard  the  Calvinists 
preach,  and  also  read  many  of  their  writings,  yet 
J  never  had  the  least  doubt  of  Christ's  tasting 
death  for  every  man^  or  of  his  willingness  to  save 
to  the  uttermost f  all  who  come  unto  God  through 
him. 

I  am,  Rev.  Sir,  Yours,  &c. 

JOHN  PAWSON. 


A SHORT  ACCOUNT 

OT 

sim«  ^mmm  mAmm^ 

TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 
REV.  SIR, 

I  WAS  born  at  Shasisbury,  Dorsetshire,  in 
1710,  my  father  followed  gardening,  and  brought 
me  up  to  the  same  employment  for  several  years; 
but  I  did  not  like  it,  and  longed  for  some  busi- 
ness that  would  allow  me  more  liberty.  In  th^ 
mean  time,  I  was  very  undutiful  to  my  parents, 
and  much  given  to  cursing,  swearing,  lying,  and 
sabbath-breaking. — But  I  was  not  easy  in  this 
way,  being  often  afraid,  that  the  devil  would  car- 
ry me  away. 

I  was  then  placed  with  my  uncle  to  learn  to 
make  buttons.  I  liked  this  well  at  first,  but  was 
soon  tired  of  it.  However,  1  staid  out  the  year. 
But  my  uncle  then  removing  to  Blandford,  I 
was  out  of  business.  I  wrought  in  many  places, 
but  staid  in  none,  being  like  a  troubled  sea,  that 
cannot  rest.  After  some  time,  I  went  to  my  un- 
cle at  Blandford,  and  wrought  with  him  about 
a  quarter  of  a  year.  But  still  I  found  no  satisfac- 
tion in  any  thing,  neither  in  working,  eating, 
drinking,  nor  even  in  sleeping,  though  neither  I 
myself,  nor  any  of  my  acquaintance  could  ima- 
gine what  was  the  matter  w  ith  me. 

Some  time  after,  as  I  was  working  alone,  the 


EXPERIENCE   01 


devil  broke  in  upon  me,  with  reasonings  concern- 
ing the  being  of  a  God  till  my  senses  were  almost 
gone.  He  then  so  strongly  tempted  me  to  blas- 
pheme God,  that  I  could  not  withstand.  He 
then  told  me  ."Thou  art  inevitably  damned." 
And  I  already  believed  him.  For  I  thought, 
though  I  have  not  cursed  God  outwardly,  yet  he 
iooketh  to  the  heart.  This  consideration  made 
me  sink  into  despair,  as  a  stone  into  the  mighty 
waters. 

I  now  began  to  wander  about  by  the  river  side, 
and  through  the  woods  and  solitary  places,  many 
times  looking  up  to  heaven  with  a  heart  ready  to 
break,  thinking  I  had  no  part  there.  I  thought 
jevery  one  happy  but  myself:  the  devil  continual- 
ly telling  me,  there  was  ho  mercy  for  me.  Yet 
I  thought  it  was  hard  to  be  banished  forever  from 
the  presence  of  a  merciful  God.  I  cried  to  him 
for  help,  but  I  found  no  relief;  it  seemed  to  be 
all  in  vain.  So  I  said  like  the  men  of  Judah, 
There  is  ?io  hope;  and  then  gave  the  reins  to  my 
evil  desires;  not  caring  which  end  went  foremost, 
but  giving  myself  up  again  to  wicked  company, 
and  all  their  evil  ways. 

If  at  any  time  I  grew  uneasy  again,  I  stifled  it 
by  drinking,  swearing,  card  playing,  lewdness, 
and  the  like  works  of  darkness,  which  I  then  pur- 
sued with  all  greediness.  And  I  was  hastening 
on  when  the  great  tremendous  God  met  me  as  a 
lion  in  the  way,  and  his  holy  spirit  w  horn  I  had 
been  so  long  grieving  returned  with  greater  force 
than  ever.  I  had  no  rest  day  nor  night.  I  was 
afraid  to  go  to  bed,  lest  the  devil  should  carry  me 
away  before  morning.  I  »vas>  ai'raid  to  shut  my 
eyes,  lest  I  should  awake  mhell,     I  was  terrified 


MR.  50HR  HAIME.  Q5 

when  asleep;  sometimes  dreaming  that  many  de- 
vils were  in  the  room,  ready  to  take  me  awav; 
sometimes  that  the  world  was  at  an  end,  and  I 
was  not  ready  to  appear  before  the  Judge  of  quick 
and  dead.  At  other  times  I  thought  I  saw  the 
world  on  fire,  and  the  wicked  left  to  burn  there- 
in, with  myself  among  them,  and  when  I  awoke 
my  senses  were  almost  gone. 

I  was  often  on  the  point  of  destroying  myself, 
and  was  stopped  1  know  not  how.  Then  did  I 
weep  bitterly:  I  moaned  like  a  dove,  I  chattered 
like  a  swallow.  But  1  thought,  though  my  an- 
guish is  very  great,  it  is  not  like  those  who  are 
lifting  up  their  eyes  in  torments.  Then  for  a  few 
moments,  I  felt  thankfulness  to  God.  But  still 
the  thoughts  of  death  and  judgment  followed  me 
close  for  upwards  of  two  years,  till  my  bodily 
strength  was  gone.  Returning  home  one  day, 
and  sitting  down  in  a  chair,  my  mother  obser- 
ving my  pale  look  and  low  voice,  asked  *'What  is 
the  matter  with  you?"  But  I  durst  not  tell  her: 
so  I  turned  it  off. 

One  night,  as  I  was  going  to  bed,  I  durst  not 
lie  down  without  prajer.  So  falling  upon  my 
knees  I  began  to  consider,  '*What  can  I  pray 
for?  I  have  neither  the  will  nor  the  power  to  do 
any  thing  good."  Then  it  darted  into  my  mind- 
*'I  will  not  pray;  neither  will  I  be  beholden  to 
God  for  mercy."  I  arose  from  my  knees,  with- 
out prayer,  and  laid  me  down,  but  in  no  peace, 
I  never  hid  such  a  night  before.  I  was  as  if  my 
very  body  had  been  in  a  fire,  and  I  had  a  hell  in 
my  conscience.  I  was  thoroughly  persuaded 
the  Devil  was  in  the  room,  and  I  fiilly  expected 
every  moment,  that  he  would  be  let  iooae  upon 
3 


26-  EXPERIENCE    OF 

me.  I  judged  myself  to  be  one  of  the  worst 
(Breatures  that  God  ever  made.  I  thought  I  had 
sinned  beyond  the  reach  of  mercy;  Yet  all  this 
time  I  kept  to  the  church,  though  I  was  often 
afraid  to  go,  lest  the  church  or  the  tower  should 
fall  upon  me. 

In  spring,  I  was  employed  by  a  tanner,  to  go 
with  his  carriage,  and  fetch  dried  bark.  As  I  was 
returning  by  myself,  I  was  violently  tempted  to 
blaspheme,  yea,  and  hate  God,  till  at  length  hav- 
ing a  stick  in  my  hand,  I  threw  it  towards  hea- 
ven against  God,  with  the  utmost  enmity.-  Im- 
mediately I  saw  in  the  clear  clement,  a  creature 
like  a  swan,  but  much  larger,  part  black,  part 
brown.  It  flew  at  me,  and  went  just  over  my 
head.  Then  it  went  about  forty  yards,  lighted  on 
the  ground  and  stood  staring  upon  me.  This 
was  in  a  clear  day,  about  twelve  o'clock,  I  strove 
to  pray,  but  could  not.  At  length  God  opened 
my  mouth.  I  hastened  home,  praying  all  the 
way,  and  earnestly  resolving  to  sin  no  more. 
But  soon  forgot  my  resolution,  and  multiplied 
my  sins,  as  the  sands  on  the  sea-shore. 

To  complete  all,  I  enlisted  myself  for  a  soldier, 
in  the  queen's  regiment  of  dragoons.  When  we 
marched  for  Gloucester,  on  Christmas  day  in  the 
morning,  1739 ;  the  thoughts  of  parting  with  all 
my  friends,  my  wife  and  children,  were  ready  to 
break  my  heart.  My  sins  likewise  came  all  to 
my  remembrance,  and  my  troubles  increased 
night  and  day. — Nevertheless,  when  I  became 
acquainted  with  my  comrades  I  soon  returned 
as  a  dog  to  his  vomit — Yet  God  soon  renewed 
my  good  desires.  I  began  to  read,  pray,  and  go 
to  church  every    day. — But  frequently  I  was  so 


MR.    JOHX    HAIME.  '^i 

tempted  there,  that  it  was  as  much  as  I  couUl  do,  to 
avoid  blaspheming  aloud.  Satan  suggested,  "Curse  him, 
curse  him!"  perhaps  an  hundred  times.  My  heart  as  of- 
ten replied  "No!  No!  Nol"  Then  he  suggested.  "Thou 
hast  sinned  against  the  Holy  Ghost."  But  I  still  cried  un- 
to God  though  the  deep  waters  flowed  over  me,  and  des- 
pair closed  me  in  on  every  side. 

Soon  after  we  marched  to  camp  at  Kingsclear  in  Hamp- 
shire. Thence  we  removed  to  winter  quarters  at  Far- 
ringdon.  I  was  still  deeply  miserable  through  sin;  but 
not  conquerer  over  it.     This  was  still  my  language: 

''Here  I  repent,  and  sin  again: 

^'JVow  I  revive,  and  now  am  slain! 

'^Slain  ivith  the  same  tinhappy  dart, 

'^Jfhich  Jih!  too  often  ivounds  my  heart. 
After  this  I  quartered  at  Highworth  in  Wiltshire. 
Among  many  old  books  which  were  here  I  found  one  en- 
titled, "Grace  Abounding  to  the  Chief  of  Sinners."  I 
read  it  with  the  utmost  attention,  aand  found  his  case 
nearly  resembled  my  own.  Having  soon  after  orders  to 
march  for  Scotland,  we  marched  the  first  day  to  Banbu- 
ry, where  I  found  again,  in  a  book  seller's  shop.  ''Grace 
Abounding  to  the  Chief  of  Sinners."  I  bought  it,  and 
thought  it  the  best  book  I  ever  saw:  and  again  I  felt  some 
hope  of  mercy.  In  every  town  where  we  staj'ed,  1  went 
to  church.  But  I  did  not  hear  what  I  wanted,  behold 
the  Lamb  of  God, who  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world! 
Being  come  to  Alnwick,  Satan  desired  to  have  me,  that 
he  might  sift  me  as  wheat.  And  the  hand  of  the  Lord 
came  upon  me  with  such  weight,  as  made  me  roar  for  ve- 
ry anguish  of  spirit.  I  could  truly  say,  the  arrows  of  the 
Almighty  are  within  me;  the  poison  whereof  drinketh  up 
my  spirits. — Many  times  I  stopped  in  the  street,  afraid 
to  go  one  step  farther,  lest  i  should  step  into  hell.— 
Then  I  cried  unto  the  Lord  and  said,  "Why  hast  ihou 
set  me  as  a  mark.^  let  loose  thy  hand  and  cut  me  oft',  that 
I  sin  no  more  against  thee,"  I  said,  "Is  thy  mercy  clean 
gone  for  ever?  And  must  I  perish  at  the  last?  Save,  Lord, 
or  I  perish!"  But  there  was  no  answer.  So  all  hope 
was  cut  oft". 

1  now  read,  and  fasted,  and  went  to  church,  and  pray- 
ed seven  times  a  day.  One  day  as  1  walked  by  the 
Tweed  side  I  cried  out  aloud,  being  all  athirst  for  God, 


28  EXPERIENCE    OF 

*^0h  that  thou  wouldst  hear  my  prayer,  and  let  my  cry 
come  up  before  thee!"  The  Lord  heard:  he  sent  a  gra^ 
cious  answer  ;  he  lifted  me  up  out  of  the  dungeon.  He 
took  away  all  my  sorrow  and  fear,  and  filled  my  soul 
with  peace  and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost  The  stream  gli- 
ded sweetly  alorg,  and  all  nature  seemed  to  rejoice  with 
me.  I  was  truly  free: and  had  I  had  any  to  guide  me, I 
need  never  more  have  come  into  bondage.  But  I  was  so 
ignorant,  I  thought  I  should  know  war  no  more.  I  began 
to  be  at  ease  in  Sion,  and  forgot  to  watch  and  pray,  till 
God  laid  his  hand  upon  me  again.  I  then  again  went 
mourning  all  the  day  long:  till  one  Sabbath,  as  I  was  go- 
ing to  church,  I  stood  still  like  a  condemned  criminal  be- 
fore his  judge,  and  said,  '-Lord  what  am  I  going  to  church 
for.  I  have  nothing  to  bring  or  ofi'er  thee,  but  sin  and  a 
deceitful  heart."  1  had  no  sooner  spoke  than  my  heart 
melted  within  me,  and  I  cried  earnestly  to  him  for  mer- 
cy, till  my  strength  failed  me,  and  it  was  with  difficulty 
I  could  walk  out  of  the  room. 

The  next  morningas  I  was  going  to  water  my  horse, 
just  as  he  entered  the  river,  in  a  moment  I  (elt  the  love  of 
God  flowing  into  my  soul.  Instantly  all  pain  and  sor- 
row fled  away.  No  fear  of  hell  or  the  Devil  was  left,  but 
love  to  God  and  all  mankind  now  filled  my  ravish  ed  soul. 
As  the  people  with  whom  I  quartered  had  often  the  Bi- 
ble and  other  good  books  in  their  hands,  I  told  them  what 
God  had  done  for  my  soul:  but  they  understood  me  not. 
However  I  doubted  not,  but  my  comrade  would  rejoice 
with  me,  being  accounted  a  religious  man.  But  I  was 
disappointed  again.  His  answer  was,  "Take  care;  for  Sa- 
tan can  transform  himself  into  an  angel  of  light."  Thus 
finding  none  who  was  able  to  give  me  any  instruction  or 
direction.  I  sonn  got  into  unprofitable  reasonings,  which 
damf:ed  my  fervour,  so  that  in  a  little  time^  I  was  again 
in  heaviness. 

Soon  after  I  was  sent  with  the  camp  equipage  to  Lon- 
don. The  next  day  I  marched  for  Leith,  I  had  scarce  set 
out,  when  God  was  pleased  to  reveal  himself  in  a  most  com 
fortable  manner  to  my  soul.  And  my  comfort  increas- 
ed all  the  day,  so  that  I  hardly  knew  how  I  went.  We 
waited  for  the  ship  seven  days.  During  this  time  I  was 
off  my  watch  again:  so  that  before  we  sailed,  I  was  weak 
and  like  another  man.    For  two  days  we  had  pleasant 


MR.    JOHN    HAIME  29 

weather,  but  on  the  third,  the  wind  suddenly  arose,  at- 
tended with  furious  rain.'  The  seas  frequently  covered 
the  ship,  and  in  the  midst  of  our  distress,  broke  in  to  the 
main  hatches.  I  was  not  (as  Jonah)  asleep  in  the  sides 
of  the  ship,  but  wa8  just  at  my  wits'  end.  I  prayed  with 
many  tears,  expecting  every  moment  the  sea  to  be  my 
grave.  I  was  grieved,  that  I  had  so  abused  the  goodness 
of  God,  and  troubled  beyond  expression.  The  storm 
lasted  two  days  and  two  nights:  then  God  was  pleased  to 
still  tha  winds  and  seas. 

At  our  arrival  in  London  I  was  somewhat  refreshed 
in  spirit,  being  truly  thankful,  that  I  was  out  of  hell. 
But  I  was  soon  in  the  depth  of  despair  again,  afraid  of 
dropping  into  hell  every  moment.  Soon  after  I  went  to 
hear  Mr.  Cennick,  (then  one  of  Mr.  Whitfield's  preach- 
ers) at  Deptford.  Coming  back  I  told  him  the  distress 
of  my  soul.  He  said,  "the  work  of  the  Devil  is  upon 
you,"  and  rode  away!  It  was  of  the  tender  mercies  of 
God,  that  1  did  not  put  an  end  to  my  life.  I  cried,  "O 
Lord,  my  punishment  is  greater  than  I  can  bear!" 

Yet  I  thought,  if  1  must  be  damned  myself,  I  will  do 
what  I  can  that  others  may  be  saved.  So  I  began  to  re- 
prove open  sin,  whenever  I  saw  or  heard  it,  and  to  warn 
the  ungodly,  that  if  they  did  not  repent,  they  would  sure- 
ly perish.  But  if  I  found  any  that  were  weary  and  hea- 
vy laden,  I  told  them  to  wait  upon  the  Lord,  and  he 
would  renew  their  strength.  Yet  1  found  no  strength 
myself,  till  reading  one  day,  in  what  manner  God  mani- 
fested himself  to  Mr.  Cennick,  I  cried  out,  "Lord,  if  there 
be  any  mercy  for  me,  reveal  it  to  me!"  I  was  answered 
by  so  strong  an  impression  on  my  heart,  as  left  me  with- 
out a  doubt,  "I  have  loved  thee  with  an  everlasting  love." 
Immediately  my  soul  melted  within  me,  and  I  was  filled 
with  joy  unspeakable. 

Having  joined  my  regiment  again,  we  marched  to  Col- 
chester. Here  I  found  much  peace,  and  communion 
with  God,  which  humbled  rae  to  the  dust.  Our  next  re- 
move was  to  Brentford  where  I  had  the  happiness  ot  hear- 
ing Mr.  Charles  Wesley  preach. — When  the  service  was 
over  I  had  a  great  desire  of  speaking  to  him,  but  knew 
not  how  to  be  so  bold.  Yet  taking  courage,  I  ventured 
to  tell  him  my  situation  of  mind.  He  gave  me  much  en- 
couragement, and  bid  me  go  on  and  not  fear,  neither  be 

3* 


30  EXPERIENCE    OF 

dismayed  at  any  temptation.     His  words  sunk   deep, 
and  were  a  great  blessing  to  me,  for  several  years  after. 

Soon  after  we  had  an  order  to  march  for  Flanders. 
This  threw  me  into  fresh  reasoning.  The  thought  of  leav- 
ing my  country,  and  the  danger  ensuing,  by  sea  and  by 
land,  sat  heavy  upon  my  spirit.  I  soon  lost  my  peace, 
nay,  and  hope  too.  1  knew  I  had  tasted  of  the  good  word, 
and  of  the  powers  of  the  world  to  come.  Yet  this  gave 
me  no  comfort;  nay,  it  aggravated  my  sorrow,  to  think  of 
losing  all  that  God  had  done  for  me.  But  the  more  I 
struggled,  the  deeper  I  sunk,  till  I  was  quite  swallowed 
up  of  sorrow.  And  though  I  called  upon  God,  yea  with 
strong  cries  and  tears,  yet  for  a  long  time  I  had  no  com- 
fortable answer. 

For  a  long  time  I  w^as  so  dejected  and  confused,  that 
I  had  no  heart  to  keep  a  regular  account  of  any  thing. 
In  this  state  I  was,  when  we  embarked  for  Flanders,  in 
June,  1742,  and  as  long  as  we  stayed  there.  It  was  on 
February  the  18th,  174S,  that  we  began  our  march  from 
Ghent  to  Germany.  When  I  came  to  my  quarters  my 
heart  was  ready  to  break,  thinking  I  was  upon  the  very 
brink  of  hell.  We  halted  six  days,  and  then  marched 
again.  The  day  following,  as  soon  as  I  had  mounted  my . 
horse,  the  love  of  God  was  shed  abroad  in  my  heart.  I 
knew  God,  for  Christ's  sake,  had  forgiven  all  my  sins, 
and  felt,  where  the  spirit  of  the  Lord  is,  there  is  liberty. 
This  I  enjoyed  about  three  weeks,  but  then  lost  it,  by 
grieving  the  Holy  Spirit  of  God.  1  then  walked  about, 
much  cast  down,  and  knew  not  what  to  do.  But  April 
22,  the  Lord  shewed  me,  that  I  did  not  live  as  became 
the  Gospel  of  Christ.  I  was  greatly  ashamed  before  God. 
In  the  evening  as  1  was  walking  in  the  fields  with  an  hea- 
vy heart,  I  prayed  earnestly  to  God,  that  he  would  smite 
the  rock,  and  cause  the  waters  to  flow.  He  answered 
my  prayer.  My  head  was  waters,  and  my  eyes  as  a 
fountain  of  tears.  1  wept:  1  sung.  I  had  such  a  sense 
of  the  love  of  God,  as  surpasses  all  description.  Well 
might  Solomon  say,  love  is  strong  as  death.  Now  I  was, 
I  had  a  right  to  the  tree  of  life:  and  knew,  if  I  then  put 
off  the  body,  1  should  enter  into  life  eternal. 

Feeling  I  wanted  help  both  from  God  and  man,  1  wrote 
to  Mr.  Wesley;  who  sent  me  a  speedy  answer,  as  fol- 
lows: 


MR    JOHN    HAIME;  SI 

"It  is  a  great  blessing  whereof  God  has  already  made 
you  a  partaker:  but  if  you  cotitinue  waiting  upon  him 
you  shall  see  greater  things  than  these. — This  is  only 
the  beginning  of  the  kingdom  of  lieaven  which  he  will 
set  up  in  your  heart.  There  is  yet  behind,  tiie  fulness 
of  the  mind  that  was  in  Christ,  righteousness,  peace, 
and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost.  It  is  but  a  little  thing  that 
men  should  be  against  you,  while  you  know  God  is  on 
your  side.  If  he  gives  you  any  companion  in  the  narrow 
way,  it  is  well;  and  it  is  well  if  he  does  not.  So  much 
the  more  will  he  teach  and  strengthen  you  by  himself: 
he  will  instruct  you  in  the  secret  of  your  heart.  And 
by  and  by,  he  will  you  raise  up,  as  it  were  out  of  the  dust 
those  who  shall  say.  ''Come  and  let  us  magnify  his  name 
together."  But  by  all  means  miss  no  opportunity.  Speak 
and  spare  not:  declare  what  God  has  done  for  your  soul: 
regard  not  worldly  prudence.  Be  not  ashamed  of  Christi 
or  of  his  word,  or  of  his  work,  or  of  his  servants.  Speak 
the  truth  in  love,  even  in  the  midst  of  a  crooked  genera- 
tion; and  all  things  shall  work  together  for  good,  until 
the  work  of  God  is  perfect  in  your  soul." 

We  now  marched  on  through  a  pleasant  country;  and 
my  soul  was  full  of  peace.  1  did  speak,  and  not  spare, 
with  little  interruption,  only  at  one  time,  when  as  1  was 
speaking  of  the  goodness  of  God,  one  of  our  officers,  (and 
one  that  was  accounted  a  very  religious  man!)  told  me, 
"1  deserved  to  be  cut  in  pieces,  and  to  be  given  to  the 
Devil."  But  I  was  enabled  (blessed  be  God!)  to  love,  pi- 
ty, and  pray  for  him. 

After  a  long  and  tiresome  march,  we  arrived  at  Det- 
tingen.  Here  we  lay  in  camp  for  some  time,  very  near 
the  French;  only  the  river  Mayne  ran  between  us.  June 
16,  1  was  ordered  out  on  the  grand  guard  with  all  expe- 
dition. When  we  came  to  the  place  appointed,  1  saw 
many  of  the  French  army  marching  on  the  other  side  of 
the  river:  It  was  not  long  before  1  heard  the  report  of  a 
French  cannon.  1  said,  "we  shall  have  a  battle  to  day;" 
but  my  comrades  did  not  believe  me.     Presently  1  heard 

another,  and  then  a  third;  the  ball  came  along  by  us 

Many  of  the  French  had  crossed  the  river,  and  many 
more  were  in  full  march  toward  it.  We  had  orders  to 
return  with  all  speed.  The  firing  increased  very  fastj 
and  several  were  killed  or  wounded,  some  by  the  can- 


32  EXPEKIENCE    Of 

non  balls,  and  some  by  the  limbs  of  the  trees  which  the 
balls  cut  off.  Meantime  we  marched  on  one  side  of  the 
river;  part  of  the  French  army  on  the  other.  The  battle 
was  soon  joined  with  small  arms,  as  well  as  cannon,  on 
both  sides.  It  was  very  bloody;  thousands  on  each  side 
were  sent  to  their  long  home.  1  had  no  sooner  joined 
the  regiment,  than  my  left-hand  man  was  shot  dead.  1 
cried  to  God  and  said,  in  thee  have  1  trusted,  let  me 
never  be  confounded!  My  heart  was  filleJ  with  love, 
peace  and  joy,  more  than  tongue  can  express.  1  was  in 
a  new  world.  1  could  truly  say  :  Unto  you  that  be- 
lieve he  is  precious.  1  stood  the  fire  of  the  enemy  seven 
hours.  And  when  the  battle  was  over,  1  was  sent  out 
with  a  party  of  men  to  find  the  baggage  wagons,  but  re- 
turned without  success.  In  the  mean  while  the  army 
was  gone,  and  1  knew  not  which  way.  1  went  to  the 
field  where  the  battle  was  fought;  but  such  a  scene  of 
human  misery  did  1  never  behold!  it  was  enough  to  melt 
the  most  obdurate  heart.  1  knew  not,  now,  which  way 
to  take,  being  afraid  of  falling  into  the  hands  of  the  ene- 
my. But  as  it  began  to  rain  hard,  1  set  out,  though  not 
knowing  where  to  go;  till  hearing  the  beat  of  a  drum,  I 
went  toward  it,  and  soon  rejoined  the  army.  But  1 
could  not  find  the  tent  to  which  1  belonged,  nor  persuade 
them  to  take  me  in  at  any  other.  So  being  very  wet,  and 
much  fatigued  1  wrapt  me  up  in  my  cloak,  and  lay  down 
and  fell  asleep.  And  though  it  still  rained  hai-d  upon 
me,  and  the  water  ran  under  me,  1  had  as  sweep  a  night's 
rest  as  ever  1  had  in  my  life. 

We  had  now  to  return  from  Germany  to  Flanders,  to 
take  up  our  winter  quarters.  In  our  march  we  were 
some  time  near  the  river  Mayne,  twenty  miles  from  the 
field  of  battle.  We  saw  the  dead  men  lie  in  the  river, 
and  on  the  bank,  as  dung  for  the  earth.  Many  of  the 
French,  attempting  to  pass  the  river,  after  we  had  bro- 
ken down  the  b:  idge,  were  drowned,  and  many  cast  upon 
the  banks,  where  there  was  none  to  bury  them. 

Being  in  Ghent,  1  went  one  Sabbath  morning,  to  the 
English  church  at  the  usual  time.  But  neither  minister 
nor  people  came.  As  1  "as  walking  in  the  church,  two 
men  beloiiging  to  the  train  came  in,  John  Evans  and  Pit- 
man Stag.  One  of  them  said,  "The  people  are  long  in 
coming."  1  said,  "Yet  they  think,  however  they  live,  of 


MR.    JOHN    HAIME.  33 

j;oing  to  Heaven  when  they  die.  But  most  of  them,  1 
fear,  will  be  sadly  di^^appointed."  They  stared  at  me, 
and  asked  what  1  meant?  1  told  them,  "Nothing  unholy 
can  dwell  with  a  holy  God."  We  had  a  little  more  talk, 
and  appointed  to  meet  in  the  evening.  1  found  John 
Evans  a  strict  Pharisee,  doing  justly  and  loving  mercy,, 
but  knowing  nothing  of  walking  humbly  with  his  God.— 
But  the  cry  of  Pitman  Stag  wa?,  God  be  merciful  to  me 
a  sinner!  We  took  a  room  without  <lelay,  and  met  eve- 
ry night,  to  pray  and  read  the  Holy  Scriptures.  In  a  lit- 
tle time  we  were  as  speckled  birds,  as  men  wondered  at. 
But  some  began  to  lis'en  under  tlie  window,  and  soon  af- 
ter desired  to  meet  with  us.  Our  meetings  were  soon 
sweeter  than  our  food:  and  1  found  therein  such  an  en- 
largement of  soul,  and  such  an  increase  in  spiritual 
knowledge,  that  I  resolved  to  go,  come  life,  come  death. 

We  had  now  twelve  joined  t'>gether,  several  of  whom 
had  already  fojnd  peace  with  God;  the  others  were  ear- 
nestly following  after  it;  and  it  was  not  long  before  they 
attained.  Hereby  new  love  and  z.eal  were  kindled  in  us 
all;  and  although  Satan  assaulted  us  various  ways,  yet 
weie  we  enabled  to  discern  1!  his  wiles,  and  to  with- 
stand all  his  power. — Several  of  them  are  now  safely 
landed  on  the  blissful  shore  of  glorious  immortality: 
where,  as  a  weather  be?ten  bark,  worn  out  with  storms, 
may "^at  la^t  happily  arrive,  and  tind  the  children  whom 
God  has  been  graciously  pleased  to  give  me,  through  the 
word  of  his  power! 

One  night,  after  our  meeting,  1  told  the  people,  we 
should  have  the  room  full  befo^^  we  left  the  city.  We 
soon  increased  to  about  twenty  members.  And  love  in- 
creased so,  that  shame  and  fear  vanished  away.  Our 
9inj>;ing  was  heard  afar  off,  and  we  regarded  not  those 
who  made  no  account  of  our  labours.  Such  was  the  in- 
crease of  our  faith,  love  and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost,  that 
we  had  no  barren  meetings.  Such  our  love  to  each  other, 
that  even  the  sight  of  each  other  filled  our  hearts  with  di- 
vine consolation.  And  as  love  increased  among  us,  so 
did  conviction  among  others;  and  in  a  little  time  we  had 
a  society.  So  that  now  (as  1  had  told  them  before)  the 
room  was  too  small  to  hold  the  people. 

May  1,  1744,  we  marched  from  Ghent,  and  encamp- 
ed near  Bruaseb.     Our  camp  lay  on   the  side  of  a  hill; 


34  EXPEUIENCE   OF 

we  set  up  our  standing  on  a  hill  just  opposite.  We  were 
easily  hearri  by  the  soldiers  in  the  camp,  who  soon  began 
to  fly  as  a  cloud,  and  as  doves  to  the  windows.  Here  1 
gathered  together  my  scattered  sheep  and  lambs.  They 
were  the  joy  of  my  heart,  and  I  trust  to  find  them  again, 
among  that  great  multitude  that  no  man  can  number. — 
O  what  a  work  did  God  put  into  my  hand!  And. who  is 
sufficient  for  these  things?  But  God  had  given  me  such 
faith,  that  had  1  continued  stedfast  in  the  grace  of  God, 
neither  things  present,  nor  things  to  come,  nor  any  crea- 
ture, could  have  hindered  my  growing  in  the  knowledge 
of  Jesus  Christ,  unto  my  dying  hour. 

I  took  great  delight  in  the  eleventh  chapter  to  the  He- 
brews. 1  read  it  over  and  over,  and  prayed  much  for 
faith. — This  was  first  in  the  day,  r.nd  the  last  at  night  in 
my  mind  :  and  1  had  no  more  doubt  of  the  promises  con- 
tained therein,  than  if  God  had  called  to  me  from  heaven, 
and  said,  "This  is  my  word,  and  it  shall  stand  forever." 
When  I  began  preaching,  1  did  not  understand  one  text 
in  the  Bible,  so  as  to  speak  from  it  in  (what  is  called)  a 
regular  manner,  yet  I  never  wanted  either  matter  or 
words.  So  hath  God  in  all  ages,  chosen  the  weak  things 
of  the  world  to  confound  the  things  that  are  mighty.  1 
usually  had  a  thousand  hearers  officers,  common  soldiers, 
and  others.  Was  there  ever  so  great  a  work  before  in 
so  abandoned  an  army  !  But  we  can  only  say,  there  is 
nothing  too  hard  for  GodI  He  works  what,  and  by  whom 
he  pleaseth. 

I  was  now  put  to  a  stand.  I  had  so  much  duty  to  do, 
the  society  to  take  care  of,  and  to  preach  four  or  five 
times  a  day,  that  it  was  more  than  1  could  well  perform. 
But  God  soon  took  care  for  this  also.  I  looked  for  no 
favour  from  man:  1  wanted  nothing  from  men.  I  feared 
nothing:  God  so  increased  my  love  and  zeal.  Light  and 
heat  filled  my  soul,  and  it  was  my  meat  and  drink  to  do 
the  will  of  my  heavenly  Father.  I  cried  earnestly  to  him, 
to  clear  my  way,  and  remove  all  hindrances.  Glory  be 
to  his  name,  he  did  so:  for  two  years  after  this  time,  I  was 
entirely  at  my  liberty.  1  found  means  of  hiring  others 
to  do  my  duty,  which  proved  an  unspeakable  advantage. 
The  work  was  great  before;  but  we  soon  found  a  greater 
increase  of  it  than  ever.  If  Christianity  consists  in  love 
and  obedience  to  God,  and  love  to  all  men,  friends  and 
enemies,  we  had  now  got  a  Christian  society;  we  had  the 


MK.  JOHN   HAIME.  35 

good  land  in  possession.  But  this  was  not  enough:  still 
there  was  as  earnest  a  cry  in  our  souls,  for  all  the  mind 
which  was  in  Christ,  as  there  was  in  David,  for  the  wa- 
ter of  the  well  of  Bethlehem. 

Our  general  method  was,  as  soon  as  we  were  settled 
in  a  camp,  to  build  a  tabernacle,  containing  two,  three, 
or  four  rooms,  as  we  saw  convenient.  One  day  three 
officers  came  to  see  our  Chapel,  as  they  called  it.  They 
asked  many  questions;  one  in  particular  asked  me,  what 
1  preached?  1  answered,  <'I  preach  against  swearing,  whor- 
ing and  drunkenness,  and  exhort  men  to  repent  of  all  their 
sins,  that  they  may  not  perish."  He  began  swearin"- 
horribly,  and  said,  if  it  was  in  his  power  he  would  have  me 
whipt  to  death.  1  told  him,  "Sir,  you  have  a  commis- 
sion over  men:  but  1  have  a  commission  from  God,  to  tell 
you,  you  must  either  repent  of  your  sins,  or  perish  ever- 
lastingly." He  went  away,  and  1  went  on,  being  never 
better  than  when  1  was  preaching  or  at  prayer.  For  the 
Lord  gave  such  a  blessing  to  his  word,  that  1  thought 
every  discourse  lost,  under  which  no  one  was  either  con- 
vinced or  converted  to  God. 

We  had  now  three  hundred  in  the  society,  and  six 
preachers,  besides  myself.  It  was  therefore  no  wonder, 
that  many  of  the  officers  and  chaplains  endeavoured  to 
stop  the  work.  But  it  was  altogether  lost  labour;  He  that 
sitteth  in  Heaven  laughed  them  to  scorn.  And  1  doubt 
not,  but  he  would  have  given  me  strength  to  have  suffer- 
ed death,  rather  than  have  given  them  up. 

It  was  reported  by  many,  that  1  was  utterly  distract- 
ed. Others  endeavoured  to  incense  the  field-marshal 
against  me.  1  was  examined  several  times;  but,  blessed 
be  God  he  stood  by  me,  and  encouraged  me  to  go  on,  to 
speak  and  not  hold  my  peace;  neither  did  he  suffer  any 
man  to  set  upon  me  to  hurt  me.  And  so  great  was  my 
love  and  joy  in  believing,  that  it  carried  me  above  all 
those  things,  which  would  otherwise  have  been  grievous 
to  flesh  and  blood,  so  that  all  was  pleasant  to  me. 
''The  winter^s  night,  and  summer^s  day, 
'^Fled  imperceptibly  away.^^ 

I  frequently  walked  between  twenty  and  thirty  miles 
a  day;  and  preached  rive  and  thirty  times,  in  the  space  of 
seven  days.  So  great  was  my  love  to  God,  and  to  the 
souls  which  he  hath  purchased  with  his  own  blood.    Ma- 


36  EXPERfENCE  Off 

ny  times  1  have  forgotten  to  take  any  refreshment  for 
ten  hours  together.  1  had  at  this  time  three  armies 
against  me;  the  French  army,  the  wicked  English  army, 
and  an  army  of  devilg.  But  1  feared  them  not;  for  my 
life  was  hid  with  Christ  in  God.  He  supported  me 
through  all:  and  1  trust  will  be  my  God  and  my  guide 
even  unfo  death. 

While  the  work  of  God  thus  flourished  among  the  Eng- 
lish, he  visited  also  the  Hanoverian  army.  A  few  of 
then*  began  to  meet  together;  and  their  number  daily  in- 
erea-ed  But  they  were  quickly  ordered  to  meet  no  moie. 
They  were  very  unwilling  tu  desist.  But  some  of  them 
being  severely  punished,  the  rest  did  not  dare  to  disobey. 
It  IS  clear,the  Devil  and  the  world  will  suffer  a  man  to 
be  any  thing,  but  a  real  Christian! 

My  present  comrade  was  an  extremely  wicked  man. 
He  came  home  one  day,  cursing  and  swearing,  that  he 
had  lost  his  money;  he  searched  for  it,  and  after  ^iome 
time  found  it.  He  threw  it  <.n  the  table  and  said.  '*  There 
is  my  ducat;  but  no  thanks  to  God,  any  more  than  to  the 
devil."  1  wrote  down  the  word^.  and  complained  to  our 
commanding  officer.  After  a  few  day«  he  was  tried  by  a 
court  martial.  The  oflicer  asked,  what  i  had  tn  say 
against  him.^  I  gave  him  the  writing.  When  he  had  read 
them,  he  asked  me;  if  I  was  not  ashamed  to  take  account 
of  such  matters  as  this.^  I  answered, "  No  Sir;  if  I  had 
heard  such  words  spoken  against  his  n>ajesty,  King 
George,  would  n(»t  you  havecitunted  me  a  villain  if!  had 
concealed  them.^"  His  mouth  was  stopped,  and  the  man 
cried  for  pardttn.  The  captain  told  him  he  was  worthy 
of  death,  by  the  law  of  God  and  man,  asked  me,  "'What 
1  desired  to  have  done?''  I  ans^Aered,  I  desiied  only  to 
be  parted  from  him,  and  I  hoped  he  would  re|jent.  Or- 
ders were  given  that  we  should  be  parted.  This  also  was 
matte;  of  gi  eat  thankfulness. 

From  camp  we  removed  to  our  winter  quarters  at  Bru- 
ges. Here  we  had  a  lively  Society;  but  our  preaching 
room  was  far  too  small  to  contain  the  congregation. 
Theie  was  a  very  spacious  place  a|)puitited  tor  the  pub- 
lic Worship  (if  our  army,  commonly  called  the  English 
Church.  General  Sinclaii  was  now  our  coinmaudinu,  offi- 
cer. L  went  to  his  house,  aud  ••eggf'd  l^ave  to  sjtfuk  to 
hiu).    He  told  me,  if  I  had  business  with  hiia  Jl  should 


MH    JOHN    HAIME. 


have  sent  my  captain,  and  not  come  to  him  myself.  1 
told  him  I  had  the  liberty  of  speaking  to  the  duke  of 
Cumberland.  He  then  asked  me  what  I  wanted.'  I  said, 
"  Please  your  honour,  I  come  to  beg  a  great  favour;  that 
I  may  have  the  use  of  tlie  English  church  to  pray  in,  and 
exhort  my  comrades  to  flee  from  the  ivrath  to  come.^^ 
He  was  very  angry,  and  told  me,  I  should  not  preach,  or 
pray  any  where  but  in  the  barracks.  He  asked,  "But 
how  came  you  to  preach?"  I  said,  "The  Spirit  of  God 
constrains  me  to  call  my  fellow  sinners  to  repentance." 
He  said,"  Then  you  must  restrain  that  Spirit."  I  told 
him  "I  would  die  first."  He  said,  "You  are  in  ?n?/ hand," 
and  turned  away  in  a  great  rage. 

I  cried  to  the  Lord  for  move  faith,  that  I  might  never 
deny  him,  whatsoever  I  was  called  to  suffer;  but  might 
own  him  before  men  and  devils:  and  very  soon  after 
God  removed  this  hindrance  out  of  the  way:  general 
Sinclair  was  removed  from  Bruges,  and  general  Ponson- 
by  took  his  place.  I  went  to  his  house,  and  was  without 
difficulty  admitted  to  his  presence.  Upon  his  asking 
what  I  wanted,  I  said,  "I  come  to  beg  your  honour  will 
grant  us  the  use  of  the  English  church,  that  we  may  meet 
together  and  worship  God."  He  asked,  ''what  religion 
are  you  of.''"  I  answered,  "of  the  church  of  England" 
Then  said  he,  "you  shall  have  it."  I  went  to  the  clerk 
for  the  keys;  but  he  said  the,  "the  chaplains  forbade  it, 
and  I  should  not  have  them."  The  general  then  gave 
me  an  order  under  his  hand.  So  they  were  delivered. 
I  fixed  up  advertisements  in  several  parts  of  the  town, 
"Preaching  every  day  at  two  o'clock,  in  the  English 
church."  And  we  had  every  day  a  numerous  congrega- 
tion, both  of  soldiers  and  townsfolk. 

We  had  some  good  singers  amongst  us,  and  one  in 
particular,  who  was  a  master  of  music.  It  pleased  God 
to  make  this  ona  great  means  of  drawing  many  to  hear 
-his  word.  One  sabbath  the  clerk  gave  out  a  psalm.  It 
was  sung  in  a  hymn  tune;  and  sung  so  well,  that  the 
officers  and  their  wives  were  quite  delighted  with  it.  The 
society  then  agreed,  to  go  all  together  to  church  every 
sabbath.  On  the  next  sabbath  we  began.  And  when  the 
clerk  gave  out  the  first  line  of  the  psalm,  one  of  us  set 
the  tune,  and  the  rest  followed  him.  It  was  a  resemblance 
of  heaven  upon  earth.     Such  a  company  of  Christian  s«l- 

4 


.-.b  EXPERIENCE    OF 

diers  singing  together,  with  the  spirit  and  the  understand- 
ing also,  gave  such  life  to  the  ordinance,  that  none  but 
the  most  vicious  and  abandoned  could  remain  entirely 
unaffected. 

The  spring  following,  we  took  the  field  again:  and  on 
May  11,  1745,  we  had  a  full  trial  of  our  faith,  at  Fonte- 
noy.  Some  days  before,  one  of  our  brethren  standing  at 
his  tent  door,  broke  out  into  raptures  of  joy,  knowing  his 
departure  was  at  hand;  and  when  he  went  into  the  battle 
declared,  "I  am  going  to  rest  in  the  bosom  of  Jesus."  In- 
deed this  day  God  was  pleased  to  prove  our  little  flock, 
and  to  shew  them  his  mighty  power.  They  shewed  such 
courage  and  boldness  in  the  fight,  as  made  the  officers  as 
well  as  soldiers  amazed.  When  wounded,  some  cried 
out,  "I  am  going  to  my  beloved." — Others,  "Come  Loud 
Jesus,  come  quickly."  And  many  that  were  not  wound- 
ed earnestly  desired  tobe  dissolved,  and  to  be  with  Christ. 
When  W.  Clements  had  his  arm  broke  by  a  musket  ball, 
they  would  have  carried  him  out  of  the  battle.  But  he 
said,"  No:  I  have  an  arm  left  to  hold  my  sword:  I  will 
not  go  yet."  When  a  second  shot  broke  his  other  arm, 
he  said, "  I  am  as  happy  as  I  can  be  out  of  paradise." 
John  Evans  having  both  his  legs  taken  off  by  a  cannon- 
ball,  was  laid  across  a  cannon  to  die;  where,  as  long  as  he 
could  speak,  he  was  praising  God  and  blessing  him  with 
joyful  lips. 

For  my  own  part,  I  stood  the  hottest  fire  of  the  enemy 
for  above  seven  hours.  But  1  told  my  comrades,  "  The 
French  have  no  ball  made  that  will  kill  me  this  day." 
After  about  seven  hours,  a  cannon  ball  killed  my  horse 
under  me.  An  officer  cried  out  aloud,  "Haimel  where 
is  your  God  now?"  I  answered,  "Sir,  he  is  here  with  me; 
and  he  will  bring  me  out  of  this  battle.  "  Presently  a 
cannon  ball  took  off  his  head.  My  horse  fell  upon  me, 
and  some  cried  out,  "Haime  is  gone!"  But  I  replied, 
"He  is  not  gone  yet."  I  soon  disengaged  myself,  and 
walked  on,  praising  God.  I  was  exposed  both  to  the  ene- 
my and  to  our  own  horse  ;  but  that  did  not  discourage  mo 
at  all;  for  I  knew  the  God  of  Jacob  was  with  me.  I  had 
a  long  way  to  go  through  all  our  horse,  the  balls  flying  on 
every  side.  And  all  the  way,  multitudes  lay  bleeding, 
groaning,  dying,  or  just  dead.  Surely  1  was  as  in  the 
fiery  furnace;  but   it  did  not  singe  a  hair  of  my  head. 


MR.  JOHN   HAIME. 


39 


The  hotter  the  battle  grew,  tlie  more  strength  was  given 
ine.  I  was  as  full  of  joy  as  I  could  contain.  As  I  was 
quitting  the  field,  1  met  one  of  our  brethren,  with  a  lit- 
tle dish  in  his  hand,  seeking  water.  I  did  not  know  him 
at  first,  being  covered  with  blood.  He  smiled  and  said, 
"brother  Haime,  I  have  got  a  sore  wound."  I  asked, 
"Have  you  got  Christ  in  your  heart.^"  He  said,  '•!  have; 
iind  have  had  him  all  this  day."  I  have  seen  many  good 
;;nd  glorious  days,  with  much  of  the  power  of  God.  But 
!  never  saw  more  of  it  than  this  day.  Glory  be  to  God 
for  all  his  mercies!''  Among  the  dead  there  was  great 
plenty  of  watches,  and  of  gold  and  silver.  One  asked 
u^e,  will  not  you  get  something.^  I  answered,  "No,  I 
liave  got  Christ,  I  will  have  no  plunder." 

But  the  greatest  loss  I  sustained  was  that  of  my  fellow 
labourers.  William  Clement*  was  sent  to  the  hospital. 
John  Evans,  Br.  Bishop  and  Greenwood  were  killed  in 
the  battle.  Two  others,  who  used  to  speak  boldly,  fell 
into  Antinomianism.  So  I  was  left  alone:  but  I  was  per- 
suaded, this  also  was  for  my  good.  And  seeing  iniquity 
so  much  abound,  and  the  fove  of  many  waxing  cold,  it 
added  wings  to  my  devotion.  And  my  faith  grew  daily, 
as  a  tree  planted  by  the  water  side. 

One  of  those  Antinomian  preachers  professed  to  be  al- 
ways happy,  but  was  frequently  drunk  twice  a  day. 
One  Sunday,  when  I  was  five  or  six  m.iles  otl"  he  took  an 
opportunity  of  venting  his  devilish  opinions.  One  hasted 
after  me,  and  begged  me  to  return.  I  did  so;  but  the 
mischief  was  done.  He  had  convinced  many,  that  we 
have  nothing  to  do  with  the  law,  either  before  or  after 
our  conversion.  When  I  came  in,  the  people  looked 
greatly  confused:  I  perceived  there  was  a  great  rent  in 
the  society,  and  after  preaching  and  prayer,  said,  '*You 
that  are  for  the  old  doctrine,  wnichyou  have  heard  from 
the  beginning,  follow  me."  Out  of  three  hundred,  1  lost 
about  fifty:  but  the  Lord  soon  gave  me  fifty  more.  The 
two  Antinomians  set  up  for  themselves,  until  lying, 
drunkenness,  and  many  other  sins,  destroyed  both  preach- 
ers and  people,  all  but  a  few  that  came  back  to  their 
brethren. 

We  had  no  sacrament  administered  in  the  army  for  a 
long  season.  I  was  greatly  troubled,  and  complained 
aloud  in  the  open  camp  of  the  neglect.    The  chaplains 


40  EXPERIENCE   Of 

were  exceedingly  displeased.  But  the  dukeotCumber- 
land  hearing  ofit,  ordered  that  it  should  be  administered 
every  Lord's  day,  to  one  regiment  or  the  other. 

The  duke  hearing  many  complaints  of  me,  enquired 
who  I  was;  if  I  did  my  duty:  if  I  v/ould  tight:  and  if  I 
prayed  for  a  blessing  on  the  king  and  his  arms.  They 
told  his  royal  highness  I  did  all  this  as  well  as  any  man 
in  the  regiment.  He  asked,  "Then  what  have  you  to  say 
against  him?"  They  said,  "Why  he  prays  and  preaches 
so  much  that  there  n  no  rest  for  him."  Afterwards  the 
duke  talked  with  me  himself,  and  asked  me  many  ques- 
tions. He  seemed  so  well  satisfied  with  my  answers, 
that  he  bade  me,  "Go  on;"  and  gave  out  a  general  order, 
that  I  might  preach  any  where,  and  no  man  should  mo- 
lest me. 

I  was  preaching  one  day,  when  the  duke,  unknown  to 
we,  came  to  hear  me.  I,  that  day,  desired  the  soldiers, 
never  to  come  tliere,  or  to  any  place  of  public  worship, 
so  as  to  neglect  any  duty.  I  exhorted  them  to  be  ready 
at  all  calls,  and  to  obey  those  who  had  rule  over  them:  and 
if  called  out  to  battle,  to  stand  fast,  yea,  if  needful,  fight 
up  to  the  knees  in  blood.  I  said,  "You  fight  for  a  good 
cause,  and  for  a  good  king,  and  in  defence  of  your  coun- 
try. And  this  is  no  ways  contrary  to  the  tenderest  con- 
science, as  many  of  you  found  at  the  battle  of  Fon- 
tenoj,  when  both  you  and  I  did  our  duty,  and  yet 
were  all  the  time  filled  with  love  and  peace;  and  joy  in 
the  Holy  Ghost," 

I  had  now  for  some  years  endeavoured  to  keep  a  con- 
science void  of  offence  toward  God  and  toward  man:  and 
for  near  three  years  I  had  known  that  God  for  Christ's 
sake,  had  forgiven  all  my  sins,  I  had  enjoyed  the  full  as- 
surance of  faith,  which  made  me  rejoice  in  all  conditions: 
wet  and  weary,  cold  and  hungry,  I  was  happy;  finding  a 
daily  increase  in  faith  and  love.  1  had  constant  commu- 
nion with  the  Father  and  the  Son.  It  was  my  delight  to 
do  his  blessed  will,  to  do  good  to  them  that  hated  me,  and 
to  call  all  sinners  to  behold  the  Lamb  of  God  which  taketh 
away  the  sin  of  the  world.  But  oh!  how  did  the  mighty 
fall,  and  the  weapons  of  war  perish!  April  6,  1746,  I 
was  off  my  watch,  and  fell  by  a  grievous  temptation. 
It  came  as  quick  as  lightning;*!  knew  not  if  I  was  in  ray 
sensesj  but  I  fell,  and  the  spirit  of  God  departed  from  me  , 


MR.  JOHN  HAIME.  41 

It  was  a  great  mercy  that  I  did  not  fall  into  hell!  Blessed 
be  God  for  that  word,  If  any  man  sin,  we  have  an  Advo- 
cate with  the  Father,  Jesus  Christ  the  Righteous:  But 
it  was  twenty  years  before  I  found  him  to  be  an  Advo- 
cate for  me,  with  the  Father  again. 

My  fall  was  both  gradual  and  instantaneous.  I  first 
grew  negligent  in  watching  and  prayer,  and  in  reading 
the  Scriptures.  I  then  indulged  myself  more  and  more, 
laying  out  upon  my  own  appetite,  what  1  before  gave  to 
my  poor  brethren.  I  next  began  to  indulge  the  lust  of 
the  eyes,  to  look  at  and  covet  pleasing  things,  till  by  little 
and  little  1  became  shorn  of  my  strength,  having  left  my 
former  love.  For  many  years  I  had  scrupled  buying  or 
selling  the  least  thing  on  the  Lord's  day.  The  sixth  of 
April  was  on  a  sabbath.  That  day  I  was  sent  to  Antwerp 
for  forage:  several  of  my  comrades  desired  me  to  buy 
them  some  things,  which  accordingly  I  did.  I  had  an  in- 
ward check,  but  I  over-ruled  it,  and  quickly  after  became 
a  prey  to  the  enemy.  Instantly  my  condemnation  was 
so  great,  that  I  was  on  the  point  of  destroying  myself: 
God  restrained  me  from  this,  but  Satan  was  let  loose,  and 
followed  me  by  day  and  by  night.  The  agony  of  my  mind 
weighed  down  my  body,  and  threw  me  into  a  bloody  flux. 
i  was  carried  to  an  hospital,  just  dropping  into  hell.  But 
the  Lord  upheld  me  with  an  unseen  hand,  quivering  over 
the  great  gulph. 

Before  my  fall,  my  sight  was  so  strong,  that  I  could 
look  steadfastly  on  the  sun  at  noon  day.  But  after  it,  I 
could  not  look  a  man  in  the  face,  nor  bear  to  be  in  any 
company.  Indeed  I  thought  myself  far  more  fit  for  the 
society  of  devils  than  of  men:  every  thing  was  a  burden 
to  me,  and  grievous  to  be  borne.  The  roads,  the  hedges, 
the  trees;  every  thing  seemed  cursed  of  God.  Nature 
appeared  void  of  God,  and  in  the  possession  of  the  Devil. 
The  fowls  of  the  air,  and  the  beasts  of  the  field,  all  ap- 
peared in  a  league  against  me,  I  had  not  one  ray  of 
hope,  but  a  fearful  looking  for  a  fiery  indignation.  Very 
frequently  Judas  was  represented  to  me  as  hanging  just 
before  me.  Had  I  been  cut  with  knives  from  head  to 
foot,  I  could  not  have  been  more  sore  in  my  flesh  than 
in  my  spirit. — How  true  is  it,  the  spirit  of  man  may  sus- 
tain his  infirmities :  but  a  wounded  spirit  who  can  bear? 

I  clearly  saw  the  unshaken  faith,  the  peace,  jo^  and 
4  * 


42  EXPERIENCE    OF 

love,  which  I  had  cast  away,  and  felt  the  return  of  pride, 
anger  self-will,4and  every  other  devilish  temper.  And 
.  I  knew  by  melancholy  experience,  that  my  last  state  was 
worse  than  the  first.  I  was  one  day  drawn  out  into  the 
woods,  lamenting  my  forlorn  state:  and  on  a  sudden  I 
began  to  weep  bitterly.  From  weeping,  I  fell  to  howling 
like  a  wild  beast,  so  that  the  woods  resounded.  Yet 
could  1  say,  notwithstanding  my  bitter  cry,  my  stroke 
is  heavier  than  my  groaning.  Nevertheless,  1  could  not 
say,  "Lord  have  mercy  upon  mc,"  if  I  could  have  pur- 
chased heaven  thereby. 

So  great  was  the  displeasure  of  God  against  me,  that 
he  in  a  great  measure  took  away  the  sight  of  my  eyes. 
I  could  not  see  the  sun  for  more  than  eight  months:  even 
in  the  clearest  summer  day,  it  always  appeared  to  me 
like  amass  of  blood:  at  the  same  time  I  lost  the  use  of 
my  knees.  I  cannot  describe  what  I  felt.  I  could  truly 
say,  "Thou  hast  sent  fire  into  my  bones."  I  was  often 
as  hot  as  if  I  was  burning  to  death;  many  times  I  looked, 
to  see  if  my  clothes  were  not  on  fire.  I  have  gone  into 
a  river  to  cool  myself:  but  it  was  all  the  same.  For 
what  could  quench  the  wrath  of  his  indignation,  that  was 
let  loose  upon  me.'*  at  other  times,  in  the  midst  of  summer, 
I  have  been  so  cold,  that  I  knew  not  how  to  bear  it.  All 
the  clothes  I  could  put  on  had  no  effect,  but  my  ilesh 
shivered,  and  my  very  bones  quaked.  God  grant,  reader, 
that  thou  and  I  may  never  feel,  how  hot  or  cold  it  is  in 
hell! 

I  was  afraid  to  pray;  for  I  thought  the  die  was  cast,  and 
iny  damnation  sealed.  S(»  I  thought,  it  availed  not,  if  all 
the  saints  upon  earth,  and  all  the  angels  in  heaven  should 
intercede  for  me.  I  was  angry  at  Gotl,  angry  at  myself, 
and  angry  at  the  Devil.  I  thought  1  was  possesed  with 
more  devils  than  Mary  Magdalen.  I  cannot  remember, 
that  I  had  one  comfortable  hope,  for  seven  years  together. 
Only  while  I  was  preaching  to  others,  my  distress  was  a 
little  abated.  But  some  may  enquire,  what  could  moye 
me  to  preach,  while  I  was  in  such  a  forlorn  conditio!..'' 
They  must  ask  of  God,  for  I  cannot  tell:  "His  ways  here- 
in are  past  my  finding  out." 

In  all  my  trials,  I  have,  by  the  grace  of  God,  invariably 
kept  to  one  point,  preaching  repeatince  towards  God, 
faith  in  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ:  testifying  that  %  ^race 


MU.    JOHN    HAIME.  -io 

are  ye  saved  through  faith,  that  now  is  the  day  of  sal- 
vation; and  that  this  salvation  is  for  all;  that  Christ  tast- 
ed death  for  every  one,  I  always  testified,  tha.t  ivithout 
holiness  no  man  shall  see  the  Lord;  and  that  if  any, 
though  ever  so  holy,  draw  back,  they  will  perish  everlast- 
ingly. I  continually  expected  this  would  be  my  lot: 
yet  after  some  years,  I  attempted  again  to  pray.  With 
this,  Satan  was  not  well  pleased;  for  one  day  as  I  was 
walking  alone,  and  faintly  crying  for  mercy,  suddenly 
such  a  hot  blast  of  brimstone  flashed  in  my  face,  as  al- 
most took  away  my  breath.  And  presently  after,  as  1 
walked  along,  an  invisible  power  struck  up  my  heels,  and 
threw  me  violently  upon  my  face. 

When  we  came  back  to  Holland,  I  had  now  and  then 
a  spark  of  hope.  One  Sabbath  I  went  to  church,  where 
the  Lord's  supper  was  to  be  administered.  I  had  a  great 
desire  to  partake  of  it.  But  the  enemy  came  in  like  a 
flood  to  hinder  me,  pouring  in  temptations  of  every  kind, 
1  resisted  him  with  my  might,  till  through  the  agony  of 
my  mind,  the  blood  gushed  out  of  my  mouth  and  nose. 
However,  I  was  enabled  to  conquer,  and  to  partake  of 
the  blessed  elements, sol  still  waited  on  God  in  the  way 
of  his  judgments,  and  he  led  me  in  a  way  I  had  not 
Jcnown. 

Whatsoever  my  inward  distress  was,  I  always  endeav- 
oured to  appear  free  among  the  people.  And  it  pleased 
God  to  make  me  fruitful  in  the  land  of  my  affliction.  He 
gave  me  favour  in  their  sight:  and  many  children  were 
born  unto  the  Lord.  Indeed,  I  could  speak  but  very  lit- 
tle Dutch,  with  regard  to  common  things:  but  when  we 
came  to  talk  of  the  things  of  God,  I  could  speak  a  great 
deal.  And  after  I  had  been  at  prayer,  many  have  told 
me  they  could  understand  almost  every  word  I  said. — • 
But  what  was  this  to  me?  I  was  miserable  still,  having  no 
comfortable  sense  of  the  presence  and  favour  of  God. 

I  had  heard  of  an  old  experienced  Christian  at  Rotter- 
dam. I  went  to  see  him,  and  found  hiia  in  an  upper  room, 
furnished  like  that  which  the  Siiunamite  prepared  for 
Klisha.  He  looked  at  me,  but  did  not  speak  one  word. 
Ho.vever, I  told  him  a  little  of  my  experience.  He  look- 
ed earnestly  at  me,  and  sowasoegan  to  speak,  and  tell 
me  all  his  heart.  He  said  he  had  lived  for  several  years 
in  the   favour  and  love  of  God,  when  thinking  himself 


^  EXPERIENCE  OF 

/ 

stronger  than  he  was,  Satan  got  an  advantage  over  him. 
The  Spirit  departed  from  him;  his  strength  was  gone;  and 
he  knew  not  where  to  fly  for  refuge.  For  ten  years,  sin 
held  him  in  its  iron  bondage,  and  in  inexpressible  anguish 
and  despair.  But  one  day,  as  he  was  making  his  com- 
plaint to  God,  on  a  sudden  light  broke  in:  sorrow  fled 
away,  and  his  soul  was  like  the  chariots  of  Amminadib. 
The  change  was  so  great,  that  he  was  utterly  lost  in  won- 
der love  and  praise.  He  knew  God  had  created  a  clean 
heart,  and  renewed  a  right  spirit  within  him.  And  he 
had  now  lived  thirty  years,  without  one  doubt  of  what 
God  had  wrought.  This  gave  me  considerable  satisfac- 
tion: but  it  lasted  only  a  short  time. 

When  we  were  going  for  winter  quarters,  into  a  town 
in  Holland,  1  was  sent  thither  before  our  troop.  A  gen- 
tleman sent  for  me,  asked,  'If  1  knew  John  Haimft.^"  1 
said,  "1  am  the  man." — He  said,  "A  gentlewoman  in  the 
town  wants  to  speak  with  you."  1  went  to  her  house,  and 
she  bade  me  welcome.  After  a  liltle  conversation  she 
asked  me,  "Do  you  believe  that  Christ  died  for  all  the 
world?"/Upon  my  answering,  "1  do,"  she  replied,  "1  do 
not  believe  one  word  of  it.  But  as  you  know  he  died  for 
you,  and  1  know  he  died  for  me,  we  will  only  talk  of  his 
love  to  poor  sinners."  We  were  soon  as  well  acquainted, 
as  if  we  had  lived  together  many  years,  and  her  house 
became  my  home.  1  asked,  how  many  she  had  in  family.** 
She  said,  seven  besides  herself.  1  asked,  "What  is  to 
become  of  all  these,  that  you  are  so  easy  about  them.^" 
She  said,  "The  Lord  will  call  them  in  his  due  time,  if 
they  belong  to  him."  1  asked,  "Shall  we  pray  for  them?"' 
She  said,  yes;  so  1  began  that  evening.  In  a  few  days  the 
servant  maid  was  cut  to  the  heart;  next  one  of  her  sons 
was  convinced  of  sin,  and  soon  after  converted  to  God. 
And  before  we  left  the  town,  the  whole  family  were 
athirat  for  salvation.  When  the  time  of  our  marching 
drew  near,  she  v.'as  in  great  trouble.  But  there  was  no 
help:  so  we  took  our  leave  ot  each  other,  to  meet  no  more 
till  the  morning  cf  the  resurrection. 

At  another  time  1  was  quartered  at  Meerkirk,  in  Hol- 
land, at  a  young  woman's  whose  father  and  mother  were 
lately  dead.  She  had  n*  h.y  cattle,  some  of  which  died 
daily  with  the  distemper;  but  she  never  murmured.  I 
never  before  met  with  a  woman,  that  was  so  ready  in  the 


MR.    JOHN    HAIME.  45 

Scripture's;  1  could  not  mention  any  text,  but  she  would 
readily  tell  the  meaning  of  it.  So  tliat  it  was  no  wonder, 
she  was  thought  by  others,  as  well  as  by  herself,  to  be  a 
prime  Christian.  1  was  almost  of  the  same  mind  at  first: 
but  when  1  had  narrowly  observed  l;er,  1  was  thoroughly 
convinced  she  was  deceived,  and  judged  it  my  duty  to 
undeceive  her.  I  told  her,  "You  are  not  born  of  God, 
you  have  no  living  faith.  She  beared  me  with  much  com- 
posure of  mind;  but  she  did  not  believe  me.  I  continued 
for  three  weeks  pressing  it  upon  her,  at  all  opportuni- 
ties. And  one  evening,  the  Lord  made  a  few  words, 
which  1  spoke,  sharper  than  a  two-edged  sword.  Convic- 
tion so  fastened  upon  her  heart,  that  she  was  soon  ob- 
liged to  take  her  bed.  She  lay  about  seven  hours  in  deep 
distress.  She  then  had  a  comfortable  hope:  and  this 
strengthened  her  body  for  a  few  days.  But  then  her 
convictions  returned  so  heavy,  that  she  was  obliged  to 
take  her  bed  again,  in  great  agony  of  mind.  The  town's 
people  were  alarmed,  and  ran  in  crouds  to  enquire  what 
was  the  matter:  *'  What  could  distress  her,  who  had 
enough  of  this  world's  wealth,  and  was  so  good  a  woman?" 
But  they  gave  her  no  satisfaction.  As  soon  as  they  were 
gone,  she  immediately  called  out,  ''O  John!  I  shall  go  to 
hell,  the  Devil  v.'ill  carry  me  away."  I  said,  "  No!  You 
shall  not  go  to  hell!  The  Lord  died  for  poor  sinners." — 
She  lay  in  this  distress  about  ten  days,  and  was  brought 
to  the  gates  of  death.  But  the  good  Samaritan  then  passed 
by;  poured  wine  and  oil  into  her  wounds,  and  healed  both 
soul  and  body:  so  that  she  broke  out,  "Jehovah  is  my 
strength  and  my  song.  He  is  my  salvation.  Come  all 
that  fear  the  Lord,  and  I  will  tell  you  what  he  hath  done 
for  ray  soul." 

1  now  tliought  it  would  be  a  blessing  both  to  herself  and 
her  neighbors,  if  she  would  pray  with  them.  She  agreed  so 
to  do.  I  commonly  prayed  firstand  she  afterwards.  Some- 
times slie  prayed  half  an  hour  together;  and  often  with 
such  demonstration  of  the  spirit,  as  well  as  such  under- 
standing, that  the  whole  house  seemed  full  of  the  pre- 
sence of  the  Lord.  At  other  times  she  wept  like  a  child, 
and  said  <'Lord!  what  is  this  that  thou  hast  done."*  Thou 
hast  sent  a  man  from  another  nation,  as  an  instrument 
of  saving  me  from  ruin!  1  was  rich  before,  and  in- 
i-eased  in  goods,  and  knew  not  that  I  was  blind  and  na- 


46  EXPERIENCE    OF 

ked.'"  Many  of  her  friends  and  neiglibars  were  conceru- 
ed  for  her;  but  not  so  much  as  she  was  concerned  for  them, 
as  well  knowing  they  were  seeking  death  in  the  error  of 
their  life.  This  si.e  declared  to  them  Avithout  reserve; 
and  the  publishing  tins  strangedoctrine,  spread  our  names 
far  and  near,  not  o,t!j  through  the  town,  but  tiirough  the 
adjacent  country.  This  brought  many  from  distant 
towns  to  see  her,  who  usually  returned,  blessing  God  for 
the  consolation.  Some  came  upwards  of  twenty  miles  in 
a  njorning.  After  breakfast,]  used  to  pray  first:  and  she 
went  on.  Many  of  our  visitants  were  much  affected,  and 
wept  bitterly.  A  nd  the  impression  did  not  soon  wear  oil'. 
By  this  means  we  became  much  acquainted  with  many  of 
the  Ciirihtian?  in  Holland.  They  were  a  free,  loving  peo- 
ple. So  we  foiuid  them:  and  so  did  many  of  the  Methodist 
soldiers;  for  they  gave  them  house  room  and  firing  freely. 
And  is  not  the  promise  of  our  Lord  sure.^  '"Whosoever 
shall  give  unto  one  of  these  a  cup  of  cold  water  only,  in 
the  name  of  a  disciple,  shall  in  no  wise  lose  his  reward." 

All  this  time  1  was  still  buffeted  with  sore  temptation?. 
I  thought  that  1  was  worse  than  Cain;  that  1  had  crucified 
the  son  of  (iod  afresh,  and  put  him  to  an  open  shame. — 
In  rough  weather,  it  was  often  suggested  to  me,  "This  is 
on  your  account !  See,  the  earth  is  cursed  for  your  sake: 
and  it  will  be  no  better  till  you  are  in  hell."  1  expectcil 
soon  to  be  a  prey  for  devils,  as  1  was  driven  from  all  the 
happiness  1  once  enjoyed.  Frequently  the  trouble  of  my 
mind  made  me  so  weak  in  body,  that  it  was  with  the  great- 
est difficulty  1  performed  my  exercise.  The  Lord  had 
indeed  given  me  a  trembling  heart  and  failing  of  eyes, 
and  sorrow  of  mind.  And  my  life  did  hang  in  doubt  be- 
fore mc,  and  I  feared  day  and  night,  having  no  assurance 
of  my  life.  Often  did  1  wish,  1  had  never  been  converted; 
often,  that  1  had  never  been  born.  Sometimes  1  could  not 
bear  the  sight  of  a  good  man  without  pain;  much  less  be  in 
his  company.  Yet  1  preached  every  day,  and  endeavour- 
ed to  appear  open  and  free  to  my  brethren.  1  encouraged 
them  that  were  tempted,  "Not  to  fear;  the  Lord  would 
soon  appear  for  himself."  Meantime  1  continued  to  thun- 
der out  the  terrors  of  the  law  against  the  ungodly:  al- 
though some  said  1  was  too  positive.  Too  positive!  WhatI 
in  declaring  the  promises  and  threatenings  of  God?  Nay, 
if  1  cannot  be  sure  of  these,  1  will  say  to  the  Bible,  as  the 
Devil  did  to  our  Lord,  What  have  1  to  do  with  thee? 


3IU.    JOHN    HAIME  4T 

At  one  lime,  1  cannot  remmember  that  1  had  any  par- 
ticular temptation  for  some  weeks.  Now,  1  thought, 
God  had  forsaken  me,  and  the  Devil  had  no  need  to 
trouble  himself  about  me.  He  then  set  the  case  of  Francis 
Spira  before  me,  so  that  1  sunk,  into  black  despair.  Eve- 
ry thing  seemed  to  make  against  me.  1  could  not  open 
the  Bible  any  where  but  it  comdemned  me.  1  was  much 
distressed  with  dreams  and  visions  of  the  uight.  I  dream- 
ed one  night,  that  I  -was  in  hell;  another,  that  I  was  on 
Mount  Etna;  tliat  on  a  sudden,  it  shook  and  trembled  ex- 
ceedingly; and  that  at  last,  it  split  asunder  in  several  pla- 
ces, and  sunk  into  the  burning  lake,  all  but  that  little  spot 
on  wliich  1  stood.  O  how  thankful  was  1  for  my  preserva- 
tion! And  this  continued  for  a  while,  even  after  1  awoke: 
but  then  it  fled  away  as  a  dream. 

i  was  often  violently  tempted  to  curse,  and  swear, 
and  blaspheme,  before  and  after,  and  even  while  1  was 
preaching.  Sometimes  when  1  was  in  the  midst  of  the 
congregation,  I  could  hardly  refrain  from  laughing  aloud, 
yea,  from  uttering  all  kinds  of  ribaldry  and  filthy  con- 
versation. 1  thoug!\t,  there  was  none  that  loved  me  now, 
none  that  had  any  concern  for  my  soul,  but  that  God 
had  taken  away  from  every  body  the  affection  which 
they  once  had.  1  cried  out,  "1  have  sinned  !  What  shall 
1  do  unto  Thee,  0  thou  preserver  of  men  ?  Why  hast 
thou  set  me  as  a  mark  against  thee,  so  that  1  am  a  burden 
to  myselt  ?  I  said,  1  am  the  man  that  hath  seen  affliction, 
by  the  rod  of  his  wrath.''  Frequently  as  1  was  going  to 
preach,  the  devil  has  set  ;  pon  me  as  a  lion,  telling  nit;,  he 
would  have  me  just  then,  so  that  it  has  thrown  me  into  a 
cold  sweat.  In  this  agony  I  have  often  catched  hold  of 
the  Bible  and  read,  "If  any  man  sin,  we  huve  an  Advo- 
cate with  the  Father,  Jesus  Christ  the  Righteous."  I 
have  said  to  the  enemy,  "This  is  the  word  of  Got!,  and 
thou  canst  not  deny  it."  Hereat  he  would  be  like  a  man 
that  shrunk  back  from  the  thrust  of  a  sword.  But  he 
would  be  at  me  again.  1  again  met  him  in  tlie  same  v/ay, 
till  at  last,  (blessed  be  God!)  he  fled  from  me.  And  even 
in  the  midst  of  his  sharpest  aasaults,  God  ii,ave  i;\ejust 
strength  enough  to  bear  them.  He  fulfilled  his  word,  my 
grace  h  sufficient  for  thee:  my  strength  is  made  perfect 
in  thy  weakness.  When  he  has  strongly  suggested,  just 
as  I  was  going  to  preach,  '•!  will  have  't!iee  at  last,"  I 


48  Exu  MENCE  or 

have  answered,  (sometimes  with  too  much  anger)  "1  will 
have  another  out  of  thy  hand  first."  And  many,  while  1 
was  myself  in  the  deep,  were  truly  conrinced  and  con- 
verted to  God. 

When  1  returned  to  England,  and  was  discharged  from 
the  army,  1  went  (o  Mr.  Wesley,  and  asked,  if  he  wouJd 
permit  me  to  labour  with  him,  as  a  travelling-preacher? 
He  was  willing:  so  I  immediately  went  into  a  circuit. 
But  this  was  far  from  delivering  me  from  that  inexpressi- 
ble burden  of  soul,  under  which  1  still  laboured.  Hence 
it  was,  that  1  could  neither  be  satisfied  with  preaching, 
nor  without;  and  that  wherever!  went,  I  was  not  able  to 
stay  long  in  one  place;  but  was  continually  wandering  to 
and  fro,  seeking  rest,  but  finding  none.  On  this  account 
many  thought  me  very  unstable,  and  looked  very  coldly 
upon  me,  as  they  were  wholly  unacquainted  with  the 
exercise  of  soul  which  1  laboured  under.  1  thought  if 
David  or  Peter  had  been  living,  they  would  have  pitied 
me.  But  many  of  my  friends  had  not  even  tasted  of 
that  bread  and  water  of  affliction,  which  had  been  my 
meat  and  drink  for  many  years.  May  they  walk  so  hum- 
bly and  closely  with  God,  that  they  may  never  taste  it! 

After  1  had  continued  some  time  as  a  travelling-preach- 
er, Mr.  Wesley  took  me  to  travel  with  him.  He  knew 
1  was  fallen  from  my  steadfastness;  but  he  knew  likewise 
how  to  bear  with  me.  And  when  1  was  absent,  he  com- 
forted me  by  his  letters,  which  were  a  means,  under  God, 
of  saving  me  from  utter  despair.  One  of  them  was  as 
follows: 

^'London,  June  21,  1748. 
"My  dear  brother, 

*'Think  it  not  strange,  concerning  the  fiery  trial  wliich 
God  hath  seen  good  to  try  you  with.  Indeed  the  chas- 
tisement, for  the  present,  is  not  joyous,  but  giievous; 
ne\ertheless  it  will,  by  and  by,  bringforth  the  peaceable 
fruits  of  righteousness.  It  is  good  for  you  to  oe  in  the 
fiery  furnace;  though  the  flesh  be  weary  to  bear  it,  you 
shail  be  purified  therein,  but  not  consumed.  For  there 
is  one  with  you,  whose  form  is  as  the  Son  of  God.  Oh 
look  up!  Take  knowledge  of  him  who  spreads  under- 
neath you  his  Everlasting  Arms!  Lean  upon  him  with 
the  whole  weight  of  your  soulj  he  is  yours;  lay  hold  up- 
on him  ! 


MB.    JOHN  RAIM£.  40 

# 

^way  let  grief  and  gighing  fiee, 
Jesus  hath  died  for  thee,  for  thee. 

'•  Mercy  and  peace  shall  not  forsake  you.  Through 
every  threatening  cloud  look  up ;  and  wait  for  happy 
days." 

In  this  miserable  condition  I  went  to  Shaftsbury  to 
see  my  friends,  and  spent  several  days.  When  one 
and  another  came  and  asked  me,  "  What  news  .►"'  I 
told  them,  "Good  news;  Christ  died  to  save  sinners." 
But  it  seemed  to  them  an  idle  tale;  they  cartdfor  none 
of  these  things.  One  day  being  half  asleep,  I  was,  as 
it  were,  thunder  struck  with  an  inward  voice,  saying, 
"What  dost  thou  here  .►'"  I  cried  to  the  Lord  for  mercy, 
and  gave  notice  that  on  the  Sabbath  following  1  would 
preach  in  a  place  at  the  end  of  the  town,  where  four 
ways  met.  The  town  and  villages  round  were  soon 
alarmed,  and  at  the  time  appointed,  I  believe  there 
were  three  or  four  thousand  people.  My  inward  trou- 
ble seemed  suspended.  I  got  upon  a  wall  about  seven 
feet  high,  and  began  with  prayer.  I  then  gave  out  my 
Text.  Behold  the  day  cometh  that  shall  burn  as'an  oven; 
and  all  the  proud ,  yea^  and  all  that  do  wickedly,  shall  be 
stubble :  and  the  day  that  cometh  shall  burn  them  up, 
saith  the  Lord  of  Hosts,  that  it  shall  leave  them  neither 
root  nor  branch,  Mai.  iv.  1.  Surely  I  preached  that 
sermon  with  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost  sent  down 
from  heaven.  Twelve,  if  not  fourteen,  were  convinc- 
ed of  sin,  some  of  whom  are,  I  trust,  long  ago,  safely 
lodged  in  •Abraham's  bosom.  In  a  few  weeks,  fifty 
persons  were  joined  together  in  society.  I  now  preach- 
ed in  a  large  room  several  times  a  week.  But  the  peo- 
ple were  eager  to  build  a  house,  and  appointed  a  time 
of  meeting  to  consider  of  the  means :  but  on  the  same 
day  I  was  taken  up  and  put  into  prison,  two  men  having 
sworn  flatly  ,against  me  that  1  had  made  a  riot.  After 
I  had  been  in  in  prison  a  night  and  part  of  a  day,  I  was 
taken  to  a  public  house.  It  was  soon  full  of  people  :  I 
immediately  began  preaching  to  them  :  and  the  lions 
quickly  became  lambs.  A  messenger  then  came  in,  to 
let  me  know,  tiiat  I  must  appear  before  the  Mayor  and 
Alderman.  I  did  so.  The  town  clerk  told  me,  "Ther 
would  not  send  me  to  Dorchester  jail,  if  I  would  work 
a  miracle."    I  told  them,  "That  is  done  already.    Ma- 


50  EXPERIENCE    OF 

ny  swearers  and  drunkards  are  become  sober,  God  fear- 
ing men.*'  A  lawyer  said^  "Well,  if  you  will  take  my 
advice,  you  shall  not  go  to  prison."  I  replied,  "1  sup- 
pose you  mean,  if  I  will  give  over  preaching.  But  that 
I  dare  not  do."  I  was  then  without  any  more  ado  hur- 
ried away  to  Dorchester. 

My  body  was  now  in  prison:  but  that  had  been  a 
thing  of  little  consequence,  had  not  my  soul  remained 
in  prison  also;  in  the  dungeon  of  despair.  The  jailor 
soon  came  and  fell  into  conversation  with  me;  but  when 
I  began  to  preach  Jesus,  as  the  only  Saviour  of  sinners, 
he  quickly  left  me  to  preach  to  my  fellow-prisoners. — 
Many  of  these,  having  no  righteousness  of  their  own 
to  bring  to  God,  were  willing  to  hear  of  being  saved  by 
grace.  So  I  preached  to  them  several  times  while  I 
was  in  prison,  and  they  seemed  greatly  affected.  Mean- 
time God  raised  up  two  Quakers  at  Shaftsbury,  who  be- 
came bound  for  my  appearance  at  the  quarter  sessions. 
I  had  been  in  prison  but  eight  days,  when  one  of  these 
came  to  fetch  me  out,  and  brought  money  to  pay  the 
prison-fees,  and  all  other  expences.  Had  1  not  been  put 
in  prison,  it  is  likely  some  of  those  prisoners  would  ne- 
ver have  heard  the  gospel.  I  saw  therefore,  that  God 
did  all  things  well.  Being  come  back,  I  began  preach- 
ing again;  and  God  was  present  with  the  people.  I 
soon  received  a  letter  from  a  gentleman  at  London, 
bidding  me  employ  two  counsellors  and  an  attorney, 
and  to  draw  upon  him  for  whatever  money  1  wanted.  I 
carried  this  letter  to  the  post-master,  and  asked,  if  he 
was  willing  to  let  me  have  money  upon  it.''  He  said, 
"Yes,  as  much  as  you  please."  This  was  soon  noised 
about  town:  so  the  magistrates  were  glad  to  make  up  the 
matter.  And  the  work  of  God  so  increased,  that  in  a 
little  time  we  had  eighty  in  society. 

During  my  great  distress  of  tnind  I  werrt-^twice  into 
Ireland,  as  a  travelling  preacher;  and  in  each  passage 
over  the  sea.  I  was  very  near  being  cast  away.  Octo- 
ber 27,  1751,  I  preached  at  Mountmelick.  The  next 
morning,  after  I  had  travelled  about  (wo  miles,  sudden- 
ly my  senses  failed  me.  I  was  si»on  insensible  where  I 
was,  and  where  I  came  from.  I  supported  myself  a 
considerable  time,  by  a  gale  in  the  road;  as  I  did  not 
know  which  way  to  go,  nor  what  place  to  ask  for.     At 


MR.  JOHN   NAIME.  51 

length  my  understanding  returned,  and  I  began  to  weep. 
But  what  I  passed  through  I  cannot  express,  so  un- 
speakable was  my  anguish,  But  the  tender  mercy  of 
God  sopported  me  therein,  that  my  spirit  might  not  fail 
before  him. 

In  the  beginning  of  September,  1766,  I  was  living  at 
Shaftsbury,  when  Mr.  Wesley  passing  through  in  his 
way  to  Cornwall,  I  asked,  if  it  would  be  agreeable  for 
me  to  be  at  his  house  in  London  a  few  days?  He  said, 
"Yes,  as  long  as  you  please;"  but  before  1  set  out,  I  re- 
ceived the  follo\\in<j;  letter: 

"St.  Ives,  Cornwall,  September  16,  1766. 
^'>My  dear  Brother, 

<'I  think  you  have  no  need  to  go  to  London. — God 
has,  it  seems,  provided  a  place  for  you  here.  Mr.  Hos- 
kins  wants  a  worn-out  preacher  to  live  with  him,  to  take 
care  of  his  family,  and  to  pray  with  them  morning  and 
evening." 

I  went  down.  As  soon  as  Mr.  Hoskins  saw  me,  he 
said,  "You  are  welcome  to  stay  here  as  long  as  you 
live."  But  no  sooner  did  I  fix  there,  than  1  was,  if 
possible,  ten  times  worse  than  before.  In  vain  1  strove 
to  make  myself  easy:  the  more  I  strove,  the  more  mis- 
erable I  was;  not  that  I  wanted  any  thing  which  this 
world  can  affwd.  But  can  this  world  satisfy  a  soul, 
that  was  made  for  God?  The  distress  of  my  mind  soon 
became  intolerable:  it  was  a  burden  too  heavy  for  me 
to  bear,  it  seemed  to  me.  that  unless  I  got  some  relief,  I 
must  die  in  despair.  One  day  I  retired  into  the  hall, 
fell  on  my  face,  and  cried  for  mercy;  but  got  no  answer. 
I  got  up,  and  walked  up  and  down  the  roimi,  wringing  ray 
hands,  and  crying  like  to  break  my  heart;  begirin  >•  of 
God,  for  Christ's  sake,  if  there  was  any  mercv^for^me, 
to  help  me.  And  blessed  be  his  name,  all  mi  a  sudden, 
I  found  siibh  a  change  through  my  S'miI  and  !)')dy  an  js 
paat'descriplion,  I  was  afraid  I  shoiild  alai  ;o  'lie  whwie 
house  with  the  expres-ions  f>f  "lyj-ty,  1  had  a  fuil  wit- 
ness from  the  Spirit  ..f  God,  thaW«uoiil(l  not  find  that 
bondage  any  more.  Nur  have  I  ever  found  it  to  this 
day.     Glory  be  to  God  for  all  his  merry. 

But  notwithstanding  thi>  wonderful  change.  I  had  not 
the  faith  which  I  had  once.  But  1  found  a  xery  ::reat 
alteration  in  reading  the  Scriptures.     The  Promises  to 


52  XXPERiEHeS    OF 

me  opened  more  and  more,  and  I  expected  to  find  som» 
great  thing  wrought  upon  me  all  at  once.  But  God's 
ways  are  n«t  as  our  ways,  nor  his  thoughts  as  our 
thoughts.  He  led  me  by  a  way  I  had  not  known.  He 
greatly  deepened  his  work  in  my  soul,  and  drove  out 
his  enemies  by  little  and  little  till  I  could  clearly  say, 
"Thy  will  be  done."  The  lion  became  a  lamb,  and  I 
found  the  truth  of  that  word  by  happy  experience. 
Thou  wilt  keep  his  soul  in  perfect  j^eace,  whose  mind  is 
stayed  on  Thee! 

I  now  thought  I  would  stay  with  Mr.  Hoskins;  for  he 
was  very  kind  to  me.  But  I  soon  began  to  be  so  bound 
in  spirit,  that  I  could  hardly  pray  in  the  family:  nay,  I 
could  not  ask  a  blessing  on  our  food,  without  much  hesi- 
tation and  stammering.  And  all  the  comforts  of  life, 
which  were  then  in  great  plenty,  became  altogether  com- 
fortless. Mr.  Story  b»ing  then  in  the  round,  I  made 
my  complaint  to  him.  He  told  me,  he  would  take  my 
place  for  a  month,  if  I  would  spend  that  time  in  the  cir- 
cuit. This  I  gladly  undertookj  and  although  for  the 
space  of  three  weeks,  my  coat  was  not  once  dry  upon 
my  back,  yet  1  was  warmer  within,  and  far  more  com- 
fortable, than  in  the  warm  parlour. 

When  Mr.  Story  was  gone,  I  thought  I  would  stay 
here  a  few  days,  and  then  travel.  But  the  first  night  [ 
was  as  restless  as  ever;  so  iti  the  morning  I  took  my 
leave,  and  in  January,  1767,  went  into  the  east  of 
Cornwall.  I  found  it  v/as  good  for  me  to  be  there:  my 
faith  increased  daily.  And  blessed  be  God,  I  found  love, 
and  peace,  and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost,  springing  up  in 
my  soul.  1  trust  God  will  continue  them  to  my  dying 
day,  and  then  receive  me  to  himself. 

I  had  long  been  travelling  in  the  V^'^ilderness,  in  a  land 
of  deserts  and  pits,  a  land  of  drought  and  of  the  shadow 
of  death.  This  has  been  my  lot  tor  twentr'years,  ajitsf 
judgment  of  the  Almighty  for  my  sin.  BFessed  be  his 
name,  that  he  did  nQt  wholly  cast  me  oif !  But  I  saw 
elearly  nothing  would  avail,  but  a  fiesh  application  of 
the  Saviour's  blood  to  my  wounded  soul.  I  had  now  a 
happy  sense  of  this:  which,  with  the  thoughts  of  his  for- 
bearing me  twenty  years  before  my  conversion ;  his  fill- 
ing me  with  his  love  for  three  years;  his  dealings  with 
me  in  my  fallen  condition,  and  my  present  deliverance 


MK.    JOHN   ajLlHE.  55 

caused  my  soul  to  overflow  with  wander  and  praise  for 
his  long-mffering  goodness.  I  saw  nothing  was  too 
hard  for  God  I  I  could  cast  myself  on  the  Lord  Jesus ! 
All'tlie  promises  in  the  Scriptures  were  fuH  of  comfort: 
particularly  that;  I  have  known  thee  ii}  the  furnace  of 
affliction.  The  Scriptures  were  all  precious  to  my  soul, 
as  the  rain  to  the  thirsty-land.  And  when  Satan  assault- 
ed me  afresh,  I  did  not  stand  to  reason  *vith  him,  but 
fled  to  the  Lord  Jesus  for  refuge.  Hereby  the  snare 
was  soon  broken  and  I  found  an  increase  both  of  Faith, 
Hope,  and  Love.  I  could  now  truly  say,  The  Lord  is 
my  shepherd,  therefore  shall  I  lack  nothing.  He  maketh 
me  to  lie  down  in  green  pastures;  He  leadeth  me  beside 
the  still  waters.  He  restoreth  my  soul;  He  leadeth  mt 
in  the  paths  of  righteousness  for  his  name's  sake. 

It  was  not  my  intention  ever  to  write  any  account  of 
these  things,  had  not  some  of  my  friends  greatly  pres- 
sed me  thereto.  Nevertheless  I  put  it  off  from  time  to 
time,  being  conscious  I  had  no  talent  for  writing,  until 
my  peace  was  well  nigh  lost:  at  last  I  was  prevailed  up- 
on to  begin.  I  had  not  wrote  many  lines,  before  I 
found  my  soul  in  perfect  peace.  I  found  myself  like- 
vrise  greatly  assisted,  to  recollect  the  manifold  dealings 
of  God  with  me:  so  that  I  have  the  greatest  reason  to 
believe,  it  is  his  will  I  should  make  known,  even  by 
these  instances  of  his  goodness,  that  he  '\^  ^long-suffer- 
ings not  willing  that  any  should  perish,  but  that  all 
should  come  to  npentance.  May  he  bless  the  feeble  at- 
tempt to  the  good  of  many!  May  they  learn  wisdom  by 
the  things  that  I  have  suffered  !  And  be  all  the  glory  as- 
cribed unto  him  that  sitteth  on  the  thronef  and  unto  thf 
hAiab  forever.' 


SOME  months  ago  a  sketch  of  my  life  was  puhliihed 
in  the  Arminian  Magazine.     But  as  the  nature  of  that 
work  would  notadmitof  acircumgtantial  account;  1  wat 
5« 


54  EXPERIENCE  OF 

obliged  te  omit  many  particulars,  which  may  be  usetui 
to  serious  readers.  This  consideration,  together  with 
the  importunity  of  my  friends,  have  induced  me  to  en- 
large the  subject. 

1  was  born  in  the  parish  of  St.  Stephen,  Brenwell,  in 
the  county  of  Cornwall,  about  the  beginning  of  August, 
1722.  1  was  the  second  son  of  Richard  and  Eliza  Mur- 
lin.  I  was  sent  to  school  when  very  young,  where 
I  was  taught  to  read,  and  to  say  my  catechism,  &c. 
And,  as  my  father  feared  God,  he  instructed  his  chil- 
dren in  the  principles  of  religion,  and  caused  us  to  at- 
tend the  church  on  the  sabbath  day. 

As  I  was  their  youngest  child,  they  indulged  me  too 
much.  The  consequence  was,  self-will  and  passion 
discovered  themselves  in  me  very  soon.  Sometimes  I 
disobeyed  my  parents ;  and  frequently  quarrelled  with 
my  eldest  brother.  I  also  swore  and  told  lies;  though 
not  so  frequently  as  many  children  did.  But,  notwith- 
standhig  this,  even  at  this  early  period,  I  frequently  had 
serious  thoughts  of  God  and  eternity;  but  they  soon  wore 
off  for  want  of  more  spiritual  instruction. 

As  my  father  was  a  farmer,  1  was  employed  in  that 
business  till  I  was  near  thirteen  years  of  age.  About 
this  time  he  died;  and  1  have  reason  to  believe  died  in 
peace. 

I  was  now  desirous  of  learning  the  business  of  a  car- 
penter, and  accordingly,  at  Michjelmas  1735,  I  was 
bound  to  one,  for  seven  years.  My  master  living  ut- 
terly without  God  in  the  world  :  he  was  much  given  to 
swearing,  and  taking  God's  name  in  vain;  and  1  too 
readily  followed  his  example.  He  had  a  little  estate  of 
his  own,  on  which  I  was  employed  a  great  part  of  my 
time;  antl,  as  he  did  not  well  understand  his  business 
Iiimself,  1  made  but  little  progress  therein. 

At  Michaelmas  1742,  my  apprenticeslrfp  fended.  I 
then  went  to  work  with  another  master,  Swvere  ri5<)n- 
tinued  several  years,  and  made  considerable  progress 
both  in  my  business  and  learning:  applying  myself  in 
(he  day  time  to  my  trade,  and  in  the  evenings  to  writing 
and  accounts. 

But  all  this  time  I  was  an  enemy  both  to  God  and  my 
own  soul.  Indeed  at  times  I  had  convictions  of  sin,  and 
some  concern  about  my   future  state :  but  being  sur- 


MR.    JOHN    MURLIK.  55 

rounded  by  those  who  had  no  thought  of  God,  and  hav- 
ing no  one  to  diiect  me,  I  quickly  stifled  my  convictions 
and  became  wor^e  tlian  before.  To  cursing  and  swear- 
ing, 1  sDon  added  gaming  and  drunkenness.  Lord  !  liow 
great  is  thy  mercy  in  sparing  those  who  live  in  such  re- 
bellion against  thee  ! 

At  this  time  my  mother,  who  lived  about  ?even  miles 
oft",  heard  Mie  Methodists,  who  were  instrumental  in  the 
hand  of  G^^d  in  bringing  her  to  the  knowledge  of  the 
truth.  After  she  had  tasted  the  o;nod  word  of  God,  and 
the  powers  of  the  world  to  come,  she  wrestled  with  the 
Lord  on  my  account,  who  in  a  short  time  heard  and  an- 
swered her  in  the  joy  of  her  heart. 

When  I  left  my  place,  I  returned  home,  and  began 
business  for  myself.  I  was  then  delivered  from  my  old 
companions,  and  by  that  means  freed  from  many  snares 
and  teniptations,  which  before  I  was  exposed  to. 

February,  1749,  I  heard  the  Methodists.  The  word 
was  attended  with  the  demoustraiion  of  the  spirit  and 
with  power.  By  this  means  I  was  soon  brought  under 
a  deep  conviction.  The  remembrance  of  my  sins  was 
now  grievous  to  me;  and  the  burden  of  them  was  in- 
tolerable. t}Iy  relations  were  sometimes  afraid  I  should 
lose  my  reason.  I  fasted  and  prayed  much  and  often 
thought  that  a  burnt  crust  was  too  good  for  such  a  wretch 
as  me.  The  arrows  of  the  Almighty  stuck  fast  in  me,  and 
his  hand  pressed  me  sore.  I  frequently  kneeled  at  my 
bedside,  and  wrestled  with  God  in  prayer  till  ntar  mid- 
night: and  sometimes  1  was  afraid  to  lie  down  in  bed  lest 
1  should  awake  in  hell.  At  other  times  I  fell  on'the 
ground  and  roared  for  the  very  disquietness  of  my  heart. 
Sometimes  1  was  sorely  tempted  that  the  day  of  grace 
was  past;  and  that,  though  I  sought,  I  should  never  find 
mercy  at  the  hand  of  God.  I  remember,  one  afternoon, 
Satan  was  permitted  to  inject  blasphemous  thought^  into 
n»y  njind  to  such  a  degree,  that  they  greatly  aiFected 
both'-lny  body  and  mind.  I  felt  sometRing  of  that  dis- 
tress which  David  mentions  in  the  ll6th  psalm  :  The 
sorrows  of  death  encompassed  me :  and  the  pains  of  hell 
gat  hold  upon  me:  I  found  trouble  and  sorrow.  Then 
called  I  upon  the  name  of  the  Lord  ;  O  Lord,  I  beseech 
thee,  deliver  my  soul.'  At  other  times,  when  I  heard 
the  preachers  speak  of  the  love  of  Christ,  and  of  his 


56'  EX?£UIENC£    OF 

wilUngnc'ss  to  save  poor  lost  sinners,  it  fixed  my  con- 
victions the  deeper,  to  think  I  should  be  such  a  rebel 
against  so  loving  a  Saviour  !  hut,  blesseil  be  Gud  !  though 
my  convictions  were  very  deep,  they  did  not  continue 
long. 

In  April,  I  heard  Mr.  Downs  preach  on  part  of  the 
fifteenth  chapter  of  St.  Luke.  He  told  us  how  willing 
the  Lord  was  to  receive  returning  prodigals  :  under  this 
sermon  I  found  a  great  deliverance.  My  burden  was 
taken  away.  And  fconi  that  day,  I  never  found  that 
distress  I  had  felt  before.  But,  as  yet  I  was  not  fully 
satisfied  that  my  sins  were  forgiven. 

After  this  I  had  a  calm  serenity  in  my  soul,  and  often 
much  peace  SLXiii  joy  :  but  I  wanted  a  clearer  manifesta- 
tion of  the  pardoning  love  of  God.  And  this  he  was 
pleased  to  give  me  s<»on  after,  under  the  preaching  of 
Mr.  Richard  Trathan.  1  could  then  indeed  say,  O  Lord 
I  will  praise,  thee!  though  thou  wast  angry  with  me, 
thine  aviger  is  turned  away,  and  thou  comfortest  me. 
Behold,  God  is  my  salvation :  J  will  trust  and  not  be 
afraid:  for  the  Lord  Jehovah  is  my  strength  and  my 
song,  he  also  is  become  my  salvation.  And  although, 
since  then,  I  have  met  with  sore  trials,  and  sometimes 
have  been  brought  very  low  ;  yet  1  have  never  lost  my 
confidence  of  thefavour  of  God,  and  trust  I  never  shall. 

Some  time  after  this.  Mi.  William  Roberts  (then  the 
travelling  preacher  in  our  circuit)  told  me,  "you  must 
take  care  of  the  little  class."  I  was  struck  with  fear, 
and  went  out  of  the  room,  telling  him,  "I  connot  under- 
take it."  But  he  insisted  on  it;  and  as  the  people  de- 
sired I  should,  I  at  last  complied,  though  with  great  re- 
luctance ;  for  I  thought  there  were  some  in  the  class 
whose  abilities  were  far  superior  to  mine. 

I  then  bought  a  large  Bible,  with  some  other  books, 
and  applied  myself  to  prayer,  and  to  reading  the  holy 
Scriptures.  And  it  pleased  God  to  open  my  under^ 
standing  more  and  more,  to  see  the  wondrous  things 
contained  in  his  word. 

About  this  time  I  was  often  beset  by  some  disputa- 
tious Anabaptists,  who  endeavoured  to  prove  uncondi- 
tional election.  I  generally  stopt  them  short,  by  asking, 
*'Do  you  believe  absolute  reprobation  .►•  Do  you  tliink  that 
the  merciful  God  did,  from  all  eternity,  appoint  the  great- 


MR.    JOHN    MURLIV. 


57 


est  part  of  the  human  race  to  eternal  damnation,  with- 
out any  possibility  of  being  saved  ?  If  you  believe  that 
he  appointed  the  end,  do  you  not  believe  that  he  also 
appointed  the  means  to  bring  them  to  it :  and  if  so,  do 
you  not  make  him  the  author  of  all  the  sin  that  ever  was 
committed  ?"  On  their  confessing  that  they  did  believe 
this,  I  told  them  I  could  not  be  of  their  minds  for  se- 
veral reasons. 

First.  Because  ft  would  be  unjust  to  appoint  them  to 
sin,  and  then  to  punish  them  with  everlasting  fire  for 
fulfilling  that  appointment. 

Secondly.  Because  it  would  impeach  God's  veracity, 
who  has  positively  asserted,  that  he  will  have  all  men 
to  be  saved,  and  come  to  the  knowledge  of  the  truth : 
more  especially,  seeing  he  condescends  to  confirm  this 
truth  with  an  oath,  swearing,  *Ss  I  live,  I  have  no  plea- 
sure in  the  death  oftheivicked,  but  that  the  wicked  turn 
from  his  way  and  live. 

Thirdly.  Because  if  God  inteaded  that  the  greatest 
part  of  the  human  race  should  unavoidably  suffer  eternal 
tormentSy  he  would  not  have  given  his  only  begotten  Son 
to  die  for  them  :  according  to  these  declarations ;  God 
so  loved  the  world  that  he  gave  his  only  begotten  Son, 
that  whosoever  believeth  on  him  should  not  perish  but 
have  everlasting  life.  Jind  he  is  the  propitiation  for 
our  sins:  and  nut  for  ours  only,  but  also  for  the  sins  of 
he  ivhole  world. 

Fourthly.  Because  if  he  had  intended  to  send  the 
greatest  part  of  his  helpless  creatures  to  hell  without  a 
possibility  of  being  saved,  he  would  not  have  sent  his 
spirit  to  convince  the  world  of  Sin,  of  righteousness, 
and  nf  a  Judgment  to  come:  much  less  would  the  grace 
of  God  that  bringeth  salvation  have  appeared  to  all  wen; 
teaching  them,  that  denying  ungodliness  and  worldly 
lustSf  they  should  live  soberly,  righteously,  and  Godly  in 
this  presf.nt  world.  Looking  for  that  blessed  hope,  and 
and  the  glorious  appearing  of  the  great  God,  and  our  Sa- 
viour Jesus  Christ.  When  they  found  that  they  could 
not  prevail,  they  went  away  and  gave  me  no  further 
trouble. 

After  this  I  met  my  class  constantly,  to  whom  I  some- 
times gave  a  word  of  exhortation  and  never  found  my- 
self more  happy  than  when  among  the  children  of  God. 


58  EXPEKIENCE  OF 

There  were  at  this  time  in  the  neighbourhood  several 
local  preachers :  but  they  had  more  places  to  preach  at 
on  a  Sabbath-day  than  they  could  possibly  supply.  One 
of  them,  (Thomas  Randall)  came  to  me  and  said,  "The 
people  are  starving  for  want  of  bread  :  and  can  you 
withhold  it  from  them  ?  The  Lord  has  put  it  into  your 
hand ;  but  you  are  not  a  good  stewart :  otherwise  you 
would  dispense  to  all  their  portion  of  meat  in  due 
season."  His  words  made  a  deep  impression  on  my 
mind  ;  for,  before  this,  I  had  a  conviction  that  it  was 
my  duty  to  call  sinners  to  repentance.  And  though  I 
put  him  off  for  the  present,  yet  1  could  not  shake  off  a 
continual  fear,  lest  1  was  burying  my  talent  in  the  earth  j 
and  should  be  condemned  at  last,  as  an  unprofitable 
servant. 

Sometime  after  preaching  had  been  appointed  at  a 
neighbour!  iig  place  :  and  no  preacher  was  at  liberty  to  go. 
Word  was  s:ent  to  me,  that  if  I  did  not  go,  the  people 
would  be  disappointed.  I  was  then  in  a  strait,  and 
knew  not  what  to  do.  I  prayed  for  direction,  and  then 
came  to  tliis  resolution,  "I  will  go  this  once,  and  see 
whether  I  am  enabled  to  speak  to  the  people  or  not ;  so 
shall  I  be  better  satisfied  either  to  speak  again,  or  to  be 
silent."  Accordingly  I  took  my  horse  and  set  out  with 
a  trembling  heart.  When  1  came  to  the  piace  there 
were  more  people  than  the  house  would  contain  :  this  ob- 
liged me  to  preach  in  the  open  air  :  wen  I  stood  up  it  was 
with  much  fear  and  trembling.  However,  I  gave  out  a 
hymn,  and  went  to  prayer,  wherein  I  found  unexpected 
liberty.  I  then  read  Actsiii,  19.  "Repent  ye,  therefore, 
and  be  converted,  that  your  sins  may  be  bl.)tted  out, 
when  tl)e  times  of  refreshing  shall  come  from  the  pre- 
sence of  the  Lord."  The  Lord  set  both  my  heart  and 
tongue  at  liberty,  to  declare  his  wird.  The  people 
heard  not  only  with  great  attention  ;  but  showers  of 
tears  ran  down  many  cheeks  The  good  impressions 
then  made  were  not  only  deep,  but  lasting  :  for  when 
I  was  in  (.V)rnwall,  in  July  17T7,  so  ne  well  remembered 
what  they  liad  heaid  between  twenty  and  thirty  years 
before. 

After  this  [  labourp.d  constantly  as  a  local  preacher. 

.And  though  my  abilities  were    not  la'ge,  yet  Gid  gave 

me  favour  in  the  eyes  of  the  people  :  and  it  pleased  him 


Mil.  JOHN  MURLIN.  59 

to  make  the  *plaiu  words  I  spoke,  a  blessing  to  many 
souls. 

At  this  time  the  world  began  to  smile  on  me.  Living 
with  my  mother,  my  board  cost  me  nothing  :  I  got  mo- 
ney fast  at  my  business  :  and  had  a  rich  uncle  who  ap- 
{)eared  to  have  a  great  regard  for  me :  I  had  a  good 
ior?e  to  ride  wherever  I  pleased  and  was  happy  in  the 
midst  of  my  Christian  f-iends.  I  also  built  me  a  house 
in  the  parish  of  St.  Mcwan,  in  oider  to  fix  my  Taberna- 
cle (liei  e. 

Just  then  I  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Wesley,  en- 
qui.ingif  I  was  willing  to  be  a  tra\elling  pieacher.'* 
And  if  I  was,  desiriiig  me  to  go  into  the  weit  of  Corn- 
wail'.  I  wrote  back  my  objectitms  :  1.  That  my  aged 
mother  desired  1  would  not  leave  her  :  2.  That  not  only 
mv  relations,  but  my  Christian  friends  were  unwilling 
to'part  with  me  :  and  3.  That  though  I  might  be  of  some 
use  among  my  neighbours,  yet  my  abilities  were  not 
equal  to  so  great  a  work.  Mr.  Wesley  fully  answered 
all  my  objections.  I  saw  the  things  of  this  world,  were 
not  worthy  to  be  compared  with  the  things  of  God  :  and 
though  my  mother  desired  my  company,  she  was  not 
dependent  on  me  ;  neither  could  I  find  any  material, 
reason  why  I  should  not  travel.  So  after  a  short  strug- 
gle in  my  mind,  I  resolved  to  give  up  all  foi*  Christ : 
and,  accordingly,  October  12,  1754,  I  took  my  horse, 
and  without  delay,  went  into  the  west  of  Cornwall. 
Here  I  laboured  till  August  1755,  with  much  satisfac- 
tion ;  And  I  hope,  the  word  was  a  blessing  to  many." 

When  the  preachers  who  were  appointed  for  Corn- 
wall tlie  ensuing  year  came,  I  left  the  county  and  la- 
boured about  six  weeks  in  Devonshire.  From  thence  I 
rude  to  Biistol,  where  I  spent  a  few  weeks  very  agree- 
ably. Then  1  set  off  for  London,  where  (through  mer- 
cy) I  safely  ai  rived  on  the  30th  of  October,  1755.  Here 
I  received  much  benefit  from  the  serious,  loving  con- 
versation of  our  Christian  friends  :  I  also  found  a  great 
blessing  in  dispensing  th.e  word.  But  my  stay  here 
was  very  short;  for,  in  about  a  fortnight,  [  set  off  for 
Norwich  :  when  I  came  Avithin  sight  of  the  city,  I  wept 
over  it,  and  lifted  up  my  heart  to  God  in  prayer,  that 
he  might  bless  my  labours  in  that  place,  I  believe  the 
\-  Lord  heard,  and  answered  my  prayer;  for,  though  we 


60  KXrERIEMOB    OV 

were  much  persecuted,  he  was  pleased  to  bless  tbe  word 
of  his  grace  to  many  souls. 

I  left  Norwich  on  the  8th  of  February  1756,  and  came 
to  London  on  the  1 3th.  Here,  I  again  found  a  refuge 
from  the  storm.  After  spending  three  months  very 
comfortably  in  and  near  London,  I  set  off  for  Canterbu- 
ry, where  I  met  with  a  few  friends  who  were  Israelites 
indeed  !  In  whose  conversation  I  found  great  satisfac- 
tion. Oh  what  a  blessing  it  is  to  be  with  those  who  are 
truly  devoted  to  God  !  I  spent  about  six  weeks  here, 
and  at  Dover,  Sandwich,  and  a  few  other  places,  with 
great  pleasure  and  profit  to  my  own  soul ;  and  T  hope 
many  others  were  profited  by  my  labours.  The  lOth  of 
July,  I  returned  to  London  again,  where  I  stayed  about 
three  weeks,  and  on  the  2d  of  August  set  oif  for  Ports- 
mouth, where  I  arrived  safe  on  the  3d.  After  spending 
six  days  here,  1  crossed  over  to  the  Isle  of  Wight,  where 
I  found  a  few  disciples  at  Newport,  who  had  made 
choice  of  God  for  their  portion  :  especially  three  in  one 
house  ;  one  of  whom  had  been  confined  to  her  bed  for 
some  years,  but  happy  in  God,  and  waiting  for  her  dig- 
solution.  Oh  how  much  better  is  it  to  dwell  in  the  cot- 
tage of  Fanny  Bevas  with  Christ,  than  to  dwell  in  the 
palace  of  Alexander  or  Nero,  without  him!  After  spend- 
ing two  nights  on  the  Island,  I  returned  to  Portsmouth  ; 
and  on  the  13th  took  horse  early  in  the  morning,  and 
came  to  London  the  same  evening. 

The  19th  of  July  1757,  I  embarked  at  Dublin,  and 
landed  at  Parkgate  on  the  20th.  After  spending  a  few 
days  at  Chester,  I  set  off  for  the  conference  at  London. 
From  thence,  1  set  oiFfor  Whitehaven,  where  I  arrived 
safe  on  the  3lst  of  August:  here  the  Lord  blest  me 
greatly  both  in  my  labours  and  in  my  own  soul :  many 
sinners  were  convinced  and  converted,  and  the  society 
waft  much  increased.  Here  I  met  with  Benjamin  Bigg, 
who  travelled  with  me  three  or  four  years.  He  was  a 
favourite  servent  of  the  old  Sir  James  Lowther,  and 
was  the  only  person  in  the  room  wlien  his  master  died. 
Sir  William,  the  next  heir  to  Sir  James,  left  my  friend 
fifty  pounds  a  year  for  life,  which  he  spent  in  doing 
good. 

The  20th  of  April  1758,  I  embarked  with  my  compan- 
jou  for  Liverpool ;  but  the  captain  of  the  vessel  deceiv- 


MR.   JOHN    MURLIN.  61 

edhis  passengers,  and  carried  us  all  to  the  Isle  of  Man, 
where  we  stayed  a  week.  The  second  evening  I 
preached  in  a  large  barn  ;  but  on  Sabbath  it  would  not 
'  contain  the  congregation,  so  I  was  obliged  to  preach 
abroad.  The  people  in  general  behaved  well  and  gave 
great  attention.  After  I  left  the  island,  some  of  them 
sent  to  Whitehaven,  desiring  to  have  another  preacher. 
But  it  was  some  years  before  another  was  sent ;  there 
being  so  little  probability  of  doing  any  considerable  good 
while  the  whole  island  was  a  nest  of  smugglers.  The 
duke  of  Athol  was  then  king  of  the  island,  but  the  case 
is  now  altered  ;  for  since  it  has  been  purchased  ef  the 
duke  and  united  to  the  crown  of  England,  that  detest- 
able trade  is  rooted  out :  a  considerable  part  of  the 
island  is  cultivated  :  at  owe  part  of  it,  a  herring  fishery 
is  established  :  at  another,  a  large  linen  manufactory. 
And  now  we  see  the  fruit  of  our  labours  there  in  the 
conversion  of  many  sinners  to  God. 

After  we  had  been  in  the  island  above  a  week,  we 
embarked  again  for  Liverpool ;  from  thence  we  hasten- 
ed on,  and  got  to  Bristol  the  9th  of  August,  in  time  for 
the  conference. 

When  the  conference  ended,  I  laboured  in  the  Wilt- 
shire circuit  with  great  satisfaction,  till  January,  1759. 
I  then  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Wesley,  who  desired 
me  to  hasten  to  Norwich  with  all  speed  ;  for  he  had  ta- 
ken the  charge  of  the  late  Mr.  Wheatley's  tabernacle, 
and  people ;  and  a  charge  it  was  indeed !  for  many  of 
Wheatly's  dear  lambs  were  little  better  than  wolves.— 
Some  who  were  sincere  among  them  joined  with  our  so- 
ciety ;  some  of  them  joined  with  VVilliam  Cudworth, 
the  Antinomian ;  and  some  met  with  one  Elcey  Good. 
I  then  clearly  saw  the  dreadful  consequences,  which 
attended  the  doctrine  of  such  preachers  :  their  hearers 
were  not  converted  to  God,  and  their  lives  were  a  scan- 
dal to  the  gospel  of  Christ.  What  from  outward  perse- 
cutions, and  the  irregular  lives  of  professors,  I  met  with 
many  trials  the  three  months  I  stayed  there ;  yet  the 
Lord  was  my  support,  and  before  I  left  them,  things  ap- 
peared to  wear  a  brighter  aspect.  Many  of  the  triflers 
had  left  us,  and  others  had  joined  in  their  stead  :  and 
in  general  we  had  a  serious  congregation. 
6 


62  EXPERIENCE  OF 

I  stayed  at  Norwich  from  the  SOthof  January  till  the 
beginning  of  May,  and  on  the  4th,  I  went  to  Colchester, 
where  I  stayed  a  few  months,  and  came  back  to  London 
on  the  bth  of  November.  This  was  like  putting  into  * 
harbour  after  a  severe  storm.  But  alas  !  'here  we  have 
no  continuing  city.'  Oh  that  we  may  seek  one  to  come, 
'whose  builder  and  maker  is  God  !' 

December  11th,  I  left  London  again,  and  came  to 
Canterbury  on  the  l£th,  and  laboured  near  three  months 
in  the  Kent  circuit,  with  much  satisfaction.  Just  as  I 
was  going  to  leave  that  city,  a  widow  gentlewoman  of 
considerable  fortune  made  her  case  known  to  Mr.Lepine, 
and  told  him  she  would  be  very  glad  if  I  would  call  and 
take  a  breakfast  with  her.  Mr.  Lepine  brought  the  mes- 
sage, and  accordingly  I  called  on  her,  and  we  had  some 
conversation  together  on  a  subject  of  a  very  serious  na- 
ture; and  though  I  intended  to  alter  my  state,  if  I 
could  meet  with  a  suitable  companion,  yet,  on  mature 
deliberation,  I  found  she  was  not  the  person  with  whom 
1  could  be  happy.  My  chief  reason  was,  a  fear  that  she 
was  not  devoted  to  God. 

On  the  28th  of  February,  1760,  I  returned  to  Lon- 
don again.  I  found  it  once  more  a  place  of  rest;  for 
here  1  had  only  to  preach  night  and  morning,  without 
taking  charge  of  the  society.  Here  were  also  many 
helps  to  bring  us  forward  in  our  spiritual  journey.  Here 
I  could  live  and  die  :  but  thy  will  be  done. 

I  left  London  in  April,  and  on  the  26th  arrived  at 
Bedford.  While  I  stayed  here,  I  ha«l  a  severe  fever, 
which  I  hope  v/as  a  profitable  school  ;  I  cpuld  say  it  was 
good  for  me  that  I  was  afflicted.  The  apothecary  pour- 
ed in  his  drugs;  but  I  was  almost  burnt  up  with  thirst, 
and  wanted  a  good  draught  ot  water,  which  1  could  not 
obtain,  till  one  night  after  most  of  the  family  were  in 
bed,  1  prevailed  with  the  servant  girl  to  set  a  bottle  by 
my  bedside.  1  took  a  hearty  draught  and  fell  into  a 
sweat,  and  by  the  next  evening  (through  mercy)  I  was 
able  to  preach. 

On  the  28th  of  may  I  returned  to  London  again,  and 
through  a  kind  providence  got  acquainted  with  Mrs, 
Elizabeth  Berrisford,  whom  I  visited  several  times 
while  1  stayed  in  town.  And  I  hof)e  our  visits  were 
profitable:  we  seldom  parted  without  prayer. 


MR.  JOHN  MURLIN.  6S, 

In  August,  Mr.  Jones,  Mr.  Hampson,  and  I,  set  off  for 
Bristol.  Having  been  absent  from  my  friends  above 
five  years,  I  had  a  desire  to  pay  them  a  visit;  so,  after 
the  conference,  I  went  with  Mr.  Wesley  to  Cornwall. 
After  I  had  spent  a  little  time  at  home,  I  continued  to 
labour  in  the  east  of  Cornwall  with  much  satisfaction 
till  February,  1761. 

I  then  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Wesley,  desiring 
me  to  hasten  away  to  my  old  station  at  Norwich.  So  I 
had  a  journey  to  take  between  three  and  four  hundred 
Tniles  in  the  dead  of  winter.  However,  I  set  off,  and 
reached  Norwich  the  14th  of  march.  Here  1  continued 
till  August,  and  laboured  with  more  satisfaction,  and 
more  success  than  I  had  the  year  before. 

After  our  conference  I  went  into  Sussex,  where  I 
met  with  a  young  clergyman  whom  God  had  called  out 
of  darkness  into  his  marvellous  light.  But  as  there  is 
no  communion  between  light  and  darkness,  his  rector 
soon  differed  with  him.  He  then  joined  the  Methodists, 
and  since  that  time  has  laboured  as  a  faithful  servant  in 
his  master's  vineyard. 

November  the  9th,  I  came  back  to  London,  and  con- 
tinued in  town  four  months.  On  the  llth  of  February 
1762,  (aft«r  near  two  years  acquaintance)  1  was  mar- 
ried to  Mrs.  Elizabeth  Berrisford.  She  has  proved  a 
faithful  companion,  and  travelled  with  me  through  a  great 
part  of  this  kingdom,  and  has  rather  been  a  spur  than  a 
hindrance  to  me  in  the  work  of  the  ministry.  Lord, 
reward  her  a  thousand  fold  in  her  own  bosom  ! 

On  the  10th  of  April  we  set.  off  in  the  stage  for  Bed- 
ford. When  we  came  within  a  few  miles  of  the  place, 
one  of  the  horses  dropped  down  and  died  in  a  few  mi- 
nutes. How  uncertain  is  life,  either  in  man  or  beast! 
While  we  were  in  those  parts,  I  visited  Towcester, 
Whittlebury,  and  some  other  places,  and  found  a  bles- 
sing among  those  simple  honest  hearted  people. 

We  returned  to  London  again  on  the  3rd  of  May, 
where  we  stayed  about  six  weeks,  and  then  set  off  once 
more  for  Norwich,  where  we  arrived  safe  on  the  19tli 
of  June.  Here  I  generally  preached  twice,  sometimes 
thrice  a  day ;  besides  meeting  the  society,  visiting  the 
sick,  &c.  But,  Lord,  what  hast  thou  done  to  save  sin- 
ners I  What-  hast  thou  done  to  save  me  ! 


64  EXP£RIBNCE  OF 

We  stayed  at  Norwich  above  four  months,  and  return- 
ed to  London  on  the  3d  of  November.  The  19th  we 
set  off  again  to  visit  our  friends  in  Oxford  and  Buck- 
inghamshire, and  the  Lord  was  very  gracious  to  me  in 
this  journey.  On  Tuesday,  December  the  7th,  as  I 
was  going  from  High  Wicombe  to  Epistone,  I  called  at 
a  farm-house  to  enquire  the  road  ;  the  mistress  who  di- 
rected me,  went  in  and  told  the  family  there  was  a  Me- 
thodist preacher  gone  to  Mrs.  Clark's,  The  master  of 
the  house,  with  his  son  and  daughter,  the  man  and  maid 
servant,  in  a  short  time  set  off  to  hear  the  preacher. 
On  the  road  the  master  said  if  the  man  does  not  speak 
good  sense,  I  will  confound  him  before  the  people. 
When  they  came  into  the  house  they  could  not  sit  toge- 
ther for  laughing.  I  preached  on  Rom.  viii.  9.  "Now,  if 
any  man  have  not  the  spirit  of  Christ,  he  is  none  of  his." 
The  Lord  was  pleased  to  send  the  word  with  power 
to  all  their  hearts.  Their  laughing  was  turned  into 
mourning,  and  their  joy  into  heaviness  ;  so  they  return- 
ed home  with  broken  and  contrite  hearts.  Some  time 
after,  when  the  master  was  on  his  death  bed,  he  sent  for 
a  preacher  to  pray  with  him,  and  I  hope  he  is  now  in  par- 
adise. Afterwards  Mrs.  Clark  had  preaching  in  her 
house,  and  I  believe  it  continues  there  to  this  day.  Lord, 
let  then>  all  be  found  at  thy  right  hand  in  the  great 
day  of  accounts  ! 

On  December  I5th,  we  returned  to  London  again, 
where  we  continued  till  the  5th  of  March,  1763. 

We  then  set  off  for  Canterbury,  I  was  much  blest  in 
my  own  soul  the  two  months  1  stayed  in  this  circuit : 
and  1  hope  the  Lord  made  his  word  a  blessing  to  manv. 
On  the  1st  of  April,  being  Good-Friday,  1  preached  on 
John  xix.  5.  '*Behold  the  man  !"  My  heart  was  melted 
down  with  love  to  my  Redeemer,  who  had  suffered  death 
upon  the  cross  for  our  redemption:  1  was  exceedingly  hap- 
py in  my  own  soul,  and  1  believe  many  found  a  remark- 
able blessing  that  evening.  The  next  night,  being  Eas- 
ter-eve, 1  dreampt  1  saw  Christ  on  the  cross  and  the 
wound  of  the  s.pear  in  his  breast;  to  which  wound  1 
saw  one  fly  for  consolation.  1  then  thought  he  came 
down  from  the  cross  and  stood  on  the  ground,  with  his 
servant  Moses  on  his  left  hand.  1  then  began  to  exa- 
mine myself  whether  1  was  sincere  or  not,  and  thought  1 


MR.  JOHN  MURLfN.  '  65 

could  appeal  to  him,  that  it  was  my  desire  to  do  his  w  ill 
Yet  1  was  conscious  that  if  he  was  to  mark  iniquity,  he 
couid  find  cause  enough  to  condemn  me.  1  then  thought 
1  went  towards  him  weeping,  and  confessing  my  sins. 
As  I  went  forward  begging  for  mercy,  I  thought  his  mer- 
ciful eye  overlooked  them  all. 

The  4th  of  may  we  returned  to  London,  where  we 
stayed  two  months,  and  then  set  off  for  Norwich  again, 
and  arrived  safe  the  2d  of  July.  Here  1  continued  in 
my  old  station  till  the  51st  of  October,  and  the  Lord 
blest  my  labours  with  a  measure  of  success.  On  the  2d 
of  November  we  oame  to  London  once  more,  where  we 
continued  till  the  7th  of  February,  1764.  Then  we  set 
off  again,  and  on  Friday,  the  10th,  came  to  Salisbury, 
The  Lord  was  very  gracious  to  me  in  this  journey. 
On  Sabbath  the  12th,  1  preached  in  the  evening  from 
Hosea  ii.  16.  "Thou  shalt  call  him  Ishi."  The  Lord 
blest  the  word  to  the  good  of  many ;  one  young  man  in 
particular  was  then  justified,  and  ever  since  has  been 
an  ornament  to  his  profession. 

On  Wednesday,  the  15th,  we  arrived  safe  at  Bristol, 
where  1  loboured  with  much  satisfaction  above  five 
months.  Here  the  people  are  established  in  Religion, 
and  many  of  them  much  devoted  to  God.  Our  confer- 
ence this  yeir  was  in  this  city,  in  the  beginning  of  Au- 
gust :  after  which,  Mr.  Wesley  had  proposed  to  visit  the 
societies  in  Devonshire  and  Cornwall ;  but  having  a 
sudden  call  to  London,  he  desired  me  to  supply  his 
place.  This  I  did  willingly:  and  the  more  so,  as  my 
wife  had  never  seen  my  relations.  Accordingly,  1  set 
off  on  Monday,  the  13th,  and  preached  at  Lirapson  that 
night.  Tuesday  the  14th,  1  preached  at  Taunton,  and 
on  Wednesday  the  15th,  at  CoUumpton.  Here  1  met 
my  old  friend  Mr.  William  Roberts  :  what  pity  that  a 
man  of  such  eminent  abilities  should  be  confined  to  so 
narrow  a  sphere  !  On  Thursday  the  i6th,  1  preached  at 
Exeter.  On  Friday  17th,  we  met  several  of  our  friends 
on  the  road  who  came  from  Plymoutk-Dock,  expecting 
to  meet  Mr.  Wesley.  They  returned  with  us,  and  as 
soon  as  I  came  to  the  Dock,  1  went  immediately  to  the 
preaching-house,  which  was  quite  full  of  people  :  and 
though  they  were  disappointed  in  the  instrument,  our 
Lord  did  not  disappoint  us:  for  he  crowned  our  assem- 
6  * 


66  EXPERIENCE    OF 

bly  with  his  presence.  1  preached  again  on  Saturday 
the  18th,  and  twice  the  next  day.  Here  1  met  with 
John  Trembath,  once  an  eminent  preacher,  and  an  in- 
strument for  good  to  thousands!  but  now  miserable  in 
his  own  mind,  and,  1  fear,  a  slave  to  sin  !  'Oh,  how  are 
the  mighty  fallen,  and  the  weapons  of  war  perished  1' 
Shall  he,  after  preaching  to  others,  become  a  cast-way 
himself?  Rather  let  him  once  more  awake,  and  strive 
to  save  his  own  soul,  with  those  who  have  heard  him  ! 

After  morning  preaching  on  Monday  the  20th,  we  set 
off,  crossed  Saltash  passage,  and  went  on  to  John  Bunt's, 
near  Leskard,  where  we  lodged  that  night.  Tuesday 
the  21st,  we  arrived  safe  at  St.  Austle,  where  we  were 
met  by  my  mother  and  uncle  ,  who  were  glad  to  see  me 
and  their  new  relation.  After  preaching,  we  went 
home  with  my  mother,  where  1  left  my  wife  the  next 
day,  and  set  off  to  supply  those  places  where  Mr.  Wes- 
ley was  expected.  The  congregations  were  very  large 
in  most  places.  I  rejoiced  to  see  many  of  my  old  ac- 
quaintance still  travelling  in  the  road  to  Zion,  and 
found  sweet  communion  with  God  in  this  journey. 

Wednesday,  September  12th,  1  returned  home,  and 
after  visiting  a  few  societies  in  the  neighbourhood,  we 
took  our  leave  of  our  friends.  Oh  that  we  may  all  meet 
on  the  mount  of  God,  where  pain  and  parting  shall  be  no 
more  ! 

Monday  the  17th,  we  set  off  for  Port-Isaac,  and  after 
visiting  the  societies  on  the  western-coast,  we  came  to 
Bristol  on  Thursday  the  27th,  where  we  stayed  a  few 
days  ;  and  on  Monday  Octob.M-  1st,  we  set  off  again,  and 
arrived  safe  in  liondon  on  Thursday,  tlie  lith.  We 
•pent  about  three  months  in  town  ;  but  this  is  not  our 
resting  place  ;  Lord,  bring  us  safe  at  last,  where  the 
weary  are  at  rest ! 

On  Tuesday,  January  15,  we  set  off  for  Leeds,  visit- 
ing the  societies  as  we  went  along.  On  Thursday  24th, 
we  came  to  Sheffield,  where  Mr.  Wesley  desired  me  to 
stay  a  few  weeks,  in  order  to  still  the  mob,  if  it  was 
possible.  1  hope  my  stay  here  was  of  use,  as  the  perse- 
cution was  much  abated  before  1  went  away. 

March  8th,  we  came  to  Leeds.  1  laboured  in  this 
circuit  with  much  satisfaction  for  five  months.  It  being 
a  remarkable  dry  summer,  the   pastures  were  almost 


MR.    JOHN    MURLIN.  Sf 

burnt  up,  and  ihe  cattle  ready  to  perish  for  want.  1  ap- 
pointed Friday,  August  2d,  for  a  day  of  fasting  and 
prayer,  by  the  societies  of  that  circuit.  We  suet  at 
nve  o'clock  in  the  morning,  again  at  eight,  at  one,  and 
seven  in  the  evening.  When  we  came  out  from  prayer 
at  eight  o'clock  in  the  morning,  our  gracious  Father  sent 
a  few  gentle  diops  on  the  earth.  At  one  o'clock  we 
met  again,  and  I  expounded  Deuteronomy  xi.  13.  and 
the  following  verses.  When  we  came  out  we  had  a 
gentle  shower.  After  the  evening  service,  the  heavens 
^rew  black  with  clouds,  and  when  we  got  up  the  next 
morning,  the  earth  was  greatly  refreshed  with  rain, 
which  continued  to  fall  upon  it.  This  proved  a  bles- 
sing to  many  souls,  when  they  saw  such  a  remarkable 
answer  to  prayer.  Elijah  sent  his  servant  seven  times 
before  the  rain  came  ;  but  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  an- 
swer us  on  the  second  time.  Whenever  1  think  of  that 
day,  my  heart  melts  with  gratitude  to  God,  for  his  great 
condescension  in  answering  the  prayers  of  his  feeble 
and  unworthy  children. 

This  year  there  was  a  greater  fall  of  snow  in  York- 
shire than  had  been  known  in  the  memory  of  man.  It 
began  on  Tuesday,  February  the  11th,  and  continued 
till  Friday  the  14th.  I  was  confined  at  Huddersfield  all 
this  time  ;  when  it  ceased,  1  attempted  to  return  to  Bir- 
stal ;  but  when  1  came  about  half  way,  going  up  Mur- 
field  M  .or,  1  could  not  find  the  causeway.  The  snow 
was  so  deep  that  it  reached  above  my  knees.  The  horse 
could  not  walk;  but  was  forced  to  plunge,  and  was  rea- 
dy to  fall  upon  u\e.  1  then  thought  I  should  be  buried 
in  the  snow.  Being  quite  spent,  and  seeing  a  few  cot- 
tages at  a  distance,  1  called  for  help.  A  man  opened 
his  door,  and  looked  on  me  awhile,  then  turned  in  ao^ain, 
and  shut  his  door  after  him,  and  left  me  in  that  situa- 
tion. Not  being  able  to  go  on,  1  continued  to  call  for 
help;  at  last  two  young  men  came  out  of  another  cot- 
tage who  knew  wheie  the  causeway  lay.  One  of  them 
led  my  horse,  and  I  followed  after.  1  was  glad  to  oive 
them  a  shilling  to  (ake  me  to  the  top  of  the  moir.  1  had 
two  or  tiiree  guides  after  that,  and  at  last,  throu'>h  a 
kind  Providence,  I  got  to  Gumersal,  Avithin  (me  mile  of 
Birstal ;  but  the  narrow  lanes  being  filled  with  snow  1 
could  go  no  farther.   At  last  1  got  to  Mr.  Rhodes's  house, 


6s  EXPEniENCE  OF 

who  took  cai'e  both  of  man  and  beast.  When  1  got  up 
the  next  morning  I  saw  the  neighbours  carrying  home  a 
dead  person.  He  was  a  strong  man  and  had  not  walk- 
ed much  above  half  a  mile;  and  was  but  little  above  a 
stone's  cast  from  his  own  house.  Good  Lord,  hitherto  thou 
hast  preserved  me,  for  which  1  desire  to  return  thee  my 
unfeigned  thanks ! 

Friday,  April  3,  1767,  by  the  desire  of  the  countess 
of  Huntingdon,  1  set  off  for  Brightelmstone,  where  1 
continued  three  weeks.  While  1  was  here,  1  received  a 
letter  which  gave  me  an  account  of  my  mother's  death, 
who  died  calling  upon  the  Lord.  She  had  known  the 
Lord  about  nineteen  or  twenty  years,  and  had  adorned 
the  gospel  from  the  time  of  her  conversion.  As  she  had 
always  been  a  very  kind  mother,  but  more  especially  so 
ever  since  she  had  known  the  grace  of  God,  1  was  con- 
cerned for  the  loss  of  such  a  parent ;  but,  on  the  other 
hand,  when  1  considered  that  she  was  gone  to  her  re- 
ward, 1  found  great  joy  and  thankfulness.  May  her 
children  continue  to  tread  in  her  steps,  that  we  may 
rejoice  together  before  the  throne  to  all  eternity ! 

On  Friday,  24th,  1  set  off  in  the  stage  coach  for  Corn- 
wall, to  settle  some  temporal  affairs,  which  1  complete- 
ed,  and  returned  again  to  the  conference. 

From  hence  1  went  into  Bristol  circuit,  where  we  had 
a  remarkable  increase  of  the  work  of  God  ;  especially 
at  Kingswood.  1  added  above  a  hundred  and  sixty 
members  to  that  single  society;  most  of  whom  found 
peace  with  God.  When  God  teacheth,  there  is  no  de- 
lay in  learning.  It  was  astonishing  to  hear  the  poor 
colliers  in  prayer !  They  prayed  with  such  simplicity 
and  fervour,  as  was  enough  to  melt  a  heart  of  stone. 
Children  also  were  frequently  heaid  crying  to  the  Lord 
to  convert  their  parents,  that  they  might  not  go  down 
with  grey  hairs  and  sorrow  to  the  grave  !  And  thirteen 
or  fourteen  children  at  the  school  were  enable  to  rejoice 
in  God  their  Saviour.  But  which  of  these  will  endure 
to  the  end  ? 

Friday,  February  10,  1769,  after  preaching  at  our 
chapel  in  West  street.  Miss  Lee  (of  Wolverhampton) 
told  me,  that  near  five  years  ago,  she  had  heard  me 
preach  at'  Bristol,  when  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  send 


MR.    JOHN    MURLIN. 


69 


the  word  wiih  power  to  her  heart.  From  that  time  she 
never  rested  till  slie  had  found  peace  with  God.  She 
said,  she  was  then  spoiled  for  good  company,  as  the 
world  calls  it !  Her  mother  and  friends  at  first  thought 
she  was  going  mad  ;  but  after  awhile,  he  mother  became 
nearly  as  mad  as  herself;  for  she  also  began  to  cry  for 
mercy,  and  to  attend  the  preaching  of  the  word  at  every 
opportunity.  May  they  both  endure  to  the  end,  that 
they  may  be  saved  ! 

Wednesday,  April  19,  Mr.  Charles  Greenwood  invi- 
ted me  to  a  feast,  provided  for  the  poor,  the  maimed,  the 
halt,  and  the  blind.  After  dinner,  1  sung  a  hymn,  gave 
an  exhortation,  and  went  to  prayer.  The  poor  seemed 
much  affected,  and  were  thankful  for  food  and  advice, 
as  well  as  for  the  money  Mr.  Greenwood  gave  them. 
O  !  that  all  who  have  it  in  their  power  would  follow  his 
example  !  that  when  the  Redeemer  shall  appear  on  his 
great  white  throne,  he  may  say  unto  them  also,  1  was 
hungry  and  ye  gave  me  meat ;  1  was  thirsty  and  ye  gave 
me  drink  ;  1  was  naked  and  ye  clothed  me  : — therefore, 
come,  ye  blessed  of  my  Father,  inherit  the  kingdom  pre- 
pared for  you  from  the  foundation  of  the  world. 

Monday  27,  after  preaching  at  five  o'clock  in  the 
morning  at  Brentford,  one  of  our  friends  took  me  in  his 
boat  up  the  river,  as  far  as  Richmond.  As  I  saw  the 
fishermen  draw  their  net  to  shore,  who  after  toiling  all 
night,  had  caught  nothing,  1  cried  out  blessed  Jesus 
give  me  more  success,  as  fisher  of  men  !  Do  thou  always 
stand  on  the  shore,  and  direct  me  to  cast  the  net  on  the 
right  side,  that  1  may  enclose  a  multitude  for  thyself. 

The  houses  and  gardens  on  each  side  the  river,  ap- 
peared pleasantly  situated,  and  at  the  top  of  Richmond 
hill,  we  had  a  very  fine  prospect.  But  1  observed  here 
and  there,  a  hatchment  hung  out,  as  a  token  of  mortality! 
Oh  cruel  death  1  cannot  the  rich,  the  mighty,  the  hon- 
ourable inhabitants  of  these  stately  mansions  forbid  thy 
entrance,  or  escape  thy  dart  }  May  1  have  a  building  of 
God,  a  house,  not  made  with  hands,  eternal  in  the  hea- 
vens ! 

Wednesday,  June  7,  1  read  some  of  Dr.  Richard  Lu- 
cas's sermons  on  death,  judgment,  and  a  future  state ; 
and  found  it  profitable  to  consider  myself  standing  at 
the  bar  of  God,  surrounded  with  dissolving  nature  !  the 


70  EXPERIENCE    OF 

world  flaming !  the  trumpets  sounding  I  armies  of  an- 
gels attending!  rocks  and  mountains  falling!  light- 
nings flashing;  thunders  rolling!  devils  howling !  and 
the  judge  sitting  on  his  Gre  kt  White  Throne  !  Lord! 
create  in  me  a  clean  heart,  and  renew  a  right  spirit 
■within  me,  that  1  may  be  fully  prepared  for  that  great 
day ! 

Tuesday  20lh,  1  preached  at  the  Foundry,  to  a  large 
congregation,  many  of  whom  appeared  to  be  deeply  af- 
fected :  the  Lord  also  blest  my  own  soul.  1  preached 
again  at  five  o'clock  the  next  morning ;  after  which  1 
was  much  afiiicted  with  a  pain  in  my  breast,  and  spit- 
ting of  blood.  1  believe  the  cause  was,  preaching  con- 
stanly  twice  a  day,  besides  meeting  the  societies,  and 
visiting  the  sick.  In  such  cases  1  am  often  at  a  loss  to 
know  the  will  of  God.  1  would  not  spare  myself,  nei- 
ther would  1  imprudently  throw  my  life  away.  But  if  I 
must  err,  let  it  be  on  the  safe  side  !  'Whatever  1  suffer, 
the  few  days  1  remain  on  earth,  let  me  not  be  numbered 
among  the  slothful  servants  !' 

Saturday,  July  22,  1769,  we  set  oft' for  the  North,  and 
lodged  at  Hertford  that  night.  The  next  day  1  heard  a 
sermon  at  church  ;  but  1  heard  not  one  word  either  of 
God,  or  Christ,  or  death,  or  judgment,  or  heaven,  or 
hell.  If  this  is  the  gospel  that  people  hear,  what  won- 
der that  so  many  of  them  are  without  Christ,  and  with- 
out hope,  and  without  God  in  the  world  ! 

After  visiting  the  societies  on  the  road,  we  came  to 
Leeds,  on  Saturday,  the  29th.  Our  conference  began 
here,  Tuesday,  August  the  1st.  The  Lord  was  with  us 
of  a  truth,  and  gave  us  a  remarkable  blessing  at  parting. 

Saturday  the  19th,  as  1  was  going  to  the  preaching- 
house  in  Sunderland,  I  saw  a  poor  drunkard,  so  much 
intoxicated  that  he  could  not  walk  alone  :  he  had  liter- 
ally been  wollowing  like  a  sow  in  the  mire.  He  at- 
tempted to  swear,  but  could  not  speak  plain  :  two  of  his 
companions  led  him  to  his  own  door,  and  as  he  was  at- 
tempting to  go  down  a  pair  of  stone  stairs,  (for  he  lived 
in  a  cellar)  he  fell,  and  fractured  his  skull  :  he  lay  six 
hours  after,  but  never  spoke  another  word  ;  and  in  this 
condition  went  to  appear  before  a  Holy  God  ! 

At  a  village  called  Oldham,  about  seven  miles  from 
Manchester,  (a  place  famous  through  all  that  country 


MR.  JOHN    MURLIN.  71 

for  daring  and  desperate  wickedness)  we  had  heavy  per- 
secution for  a  season.  As  I  was  going  to  preach  in  the 
street  one  Sabbath-day,  two  constables,  with  a  great 
mob  at  their  heels,  took  me  into  custody,  for  riotous  be- 
haviour, in  singing  about  two  verses  of  a  hyran,  as  the 
people  were  coming  out  of  church.  They  took  me  to  a 
public  house,  and  kept  me  all  night.  The  constables 
and  their  assistants  were  soon  special  drunk,  and  began 
to  quarrel  with  each  other.  From  words  they  soon  went 
to  blows.  The  house  where  we  were,  belonged  to  the 
clerk  of  the  parish,  whose  son  thinking  me  ill  used,  took 
my  part.  One  of  the  constables  took  him  by  the  collar, 
on  which  he  wrested  the  statF  out  of  the  drunken  con- 
stable's hand,  and  broke  his  head  with  it. 

The  next  day  I  was  taken  before  ajustice,  and  bound 
over  to  the  quarter  sessions.  But  1  traversed  and  had 
it  tried  at  the  assizes  ;  from  thence  the  cause  was  sent 
back  to  the  quarter  sessions,  where  it  was  given  against 
me.  While  the  jury  were  determining  to  find  me  guil- 
ty, one  of  them,  a  plain  simple  countryman,  took  an  op- 
portunity to  slip  out  of  court,  because  (as  he  said  after- 
wards) he  could  not  in  conscience  say,  that  singing  a 
hymn,  with  a  peaceable  multitude,  was  breeding  a  riot. 
From  the  beginning  to  the  end  of  this  affair,  my  soul 
was  kept  in  peace:  and  as  to  my  persecutors,  1  only 
wished  that  they  might  be  turned  from  darkness  to 
light,  and  from  the  power  of  Satan  unto  God,  that  they 
might  receive  forgiveness  of  sins,  and  an  inheritance 
among  them  which  are  santified  by  faith  that  is  in 
Christ. 

After  1  had  left  those  parts,  1  was  glad  to  hear  that  the 
word  of  God  had  taken  effect  among  the  sinners  of  Old- 
ham :  that  many  ot  them  were  turned  from  the  evil  of 
their  ways;  that  they  had  found  peace  with  God;  and 
that  in  a  short  time  they  built  themselves  a  chapel, 
where  they  now  peaceably  assemble  to  worship  God  in 
spirit  and  truth.  1  also  hear  that  there  is  a  great  re- 
formation in  other  places  in  that  neighbourhood.  O 
Lord !  thus  let  thy  kingdom  come  with  power,  and  pre- 
vail against  the  kingdom  of  darkness  in  every  place. 

Monday,  July  19th,  1773,  we  left  Manchester.  1 
preached  that  evening  at  Macclesfield.  The  house  was 
quite  crouded  with  attentive  hearers  5  1  believe  most  of 


72  EXPERIENCR    Of 

them  were  much  affected,  as  they  were  either  mourning 
after,  or  rejoicing  in  God. 

Tuesday  the  20th,  we  came  to  Ashborn,  in  the  Peak 
of  Derbyshire,  and  not  knowing  any  friends  in  the  town, 
we  called  at  an  inn  ;  but  1  was  soon  found  out,  and  de- 
sired to  preach  in  the  street,  which  1  immediately  did, 
on  Romans  viii.  13.  to  a  very  attentive  congregation. 
The  landlady  of  the  inn  behaved  remarkably  civil :  we 
then  setoff,  and  I  preached  that  evening  at  Derby. 

Wednesday  the  21  st,  I  preached  at  LoUghborough; 
also  on  Thursday  the  22d,  at  5  o'clock  in  the  morning. 
At  noon  1  preached  at  Mountsorrel,  and  in  the  evening 
at  Leicester.  I  bless  God,  1  had  a  present  reward  in 
preaching;  my  own  soul  was  abundantly  refreshed 
while  1  was  speaking  to  others.  The  three  followiug 
days  1  spent  comfortably  with  the  little  society  at  North- 
ampton, and  on  Tuesday  the  27th,  came  to  London. 
This  year  1  laboured  in  London  with  Mr.  Bumstead  and 
Mr.  Atlay.  But  though  1  was  comfortably  situated,  in 
many  respects,  I  was  not  without  various  trials.  In- 
deed, 1  have  always  found  that  sweets  and  bitters,  com- 
fort* and  trials,  when  blended  together  by  the  hand  of  a 
wise  and  gracious  God,  have  not  only  been  best  for  me, 
but  obsolutely  necessary  in  this  world  of  danger.  And 
so  1  found  it  this  jear.  For  1  hope  1  can  say,  all  things 
worked  together  for  good  to  my  own  soul ;  and  that,  so 
far  from  hindering,  rather  promoted  my  usefulness 
among  the  people.  And  thus  1  have  found  it  ever  since, 
Therefore,  0  Lord,  not  as  1  will,  but  as  thou  wilt !  Thou 
knowest  what  is  best  for  me  at  all  times  and  under  all 
circumstances.  Make  me  then  the  object  of  thy  con- 
staiit  care,  so  shall  I  be  safe  from  danger  while  on  earth , 
and  praise  thee  to  all  eternity. 

Sabbath,  December  the  18th,  1  was  desired  to  preach  a 
funeral  sermon  for  Mrs.  Hall,  late  wife  of  Mr.  John 
Hall,  of  Bedminster,  by  whom  she  had  several  children. 
She  was  a  tender  mother,  a  loving  and  obedient  wife, 
one  who  constantly  attended  on  the  means  of  grace,  and 
adorned  her  profession  in  her  life  and  conversation. 

As  she  was  one  day  in  the  market,  she  was  instantly 
deprived  of  her  speech  and  the  use  of  her  limbs.  She 
was  carried  into  her  brother's  house,  where  she  was  vi- 
sited by  several  of  her  friends.    After  awhile  her  speech 


MR.    JOH»    MURLIN,  »  ii 

was  restored,  so  that  she  was  able  to  declare  the  good- 
ness of  God.  She  would  not  speak  about  the  things  of 
this  world  ;  but  told  us,  she  was  happy  in  the  Eedeem- 
er^s  Love.  She  lay  a  few  days,  and  then  returned  in 
triumph  to  God. 

Though  she  was  very  comely  in  her  life  time,  yet  she 
appeared  far  more  so  after  her  death.  When  the  spirit 
took  its  flight,  it  left  the  heavenly  stamp  on  her  face. 
Her  brother  (Mr.  William  Wait)  was  so  much  affected 
with  the  sight,  that  he  could  scarce  look  on  her.  She 
brought  to  my  mind  that  verse  in  one  of  our  funeral 
hymns  : 

Ah  lovely  appearance  of  death  ! 

No  sight  upon  earth  is  so  fair : 
Not  all  the  gay  pageant's  that  breathe 

Can  with  a  dead  body  compare  : 
With  solemn  delight  I  survey 

The  corpse  when  the  spirit  is  fled. 
In  love  with  the  beautiful  clay. 

And  longing  to  lie  in  its  stead. 
I  preached  her  funeral  sermon  the  next  Sabbath  day* 
The  house  was  quite  crowded  with  attentive  hearers, 
and  our  Lord  crowned  the  assembly  with  his  presence: 
we  shared  in  the  joy  of  our  departed  friend,  and  had  an 
anticipation  of  the  celestial  banquet. 

Some  time  after  this  we  began  to  preach  at  the  lime- 
kilns, near  Bristol.  We  went  there  every  Thursday 
night.  By  this  means,  several  were  convinced  of  sin  and 
converted  to  God.  I  joined  about  twenty  of  them  in  so- 
ciety in  one  eight.  They  were  quite  in  earnest  while 
I  continued  in  those  parts,  and  I  am  informed  continue 
the  same  to  this  day.  Lord,  help  them  to  endure  to 
the  end,  that  we  may  all  rejoice  at  thy  right  hand,  when 
thou  comest  in  the  clouds  of  heaven. 

This  year  another  friend  of  mine  (Mrs.  Elizabeth 
Rose)  died.  She  was  a  sensible  woman,  and  had  adorn- 
ed the  gospel  for  many  years.  I  visited  her  in  her  last 
illness.  And  as  nothing  had  passed  through  her  for  se- 
veral days,  she  felt  the  most  excruciating  pain.  She  was 
never  heard  to  murmur ;  but  was  quite  resigned  to  the 
will  of  God.  When  I  saw  her,  she  brought  to  my  mind 
a  saying  of  Seneca,  "That  a  philospher  contending 
with,  and  getting  above  the  misery  of  human  life,  was  a 
sight  fit  to  invite  the  gods  to  be  spectators."  And 
7 


'^  EXPERIENCE   OF 

may  we  not  say,  that  God  and  ajigels  look  down  with 
great  satisfaction  on  a  chrisTian,  triumphing  over  pain 
and  the  fear  of  death  ?  Even  so  died  this  gracious  woman 
after  eight  or  ten  days  illness,  and  is  now  added  to  the 
number  of  those  who  praise  God  and  the  Lamb  for  ever- 
more. 

This  year  also  Abraham  Peacock,  of  Kingswood,  died. 
And  as  I  have  reason  to  believe  that  I  was  instrumental 
in  his  conversion,  and  had  him  under  my  care  at  the 
time  of  his  death  ;  it  may  not  be  judged  improper  to  sub- 
join a  brief  account  of  him  in  this  place. 

About  thirty  years  ago,  being  a  collier,  he  and  several 
others  were  shut  up  in  a  pit,  by  the  water  of  on  old  mine 
breaking  in  upon  them.  The  whole  country  being  alarm- 
ed, abundance  of  men  set  to  work  and  drew  out  the 
water.  The  prisoners  were  confined  eleven  days  before 
they  were  delivered,  in  which  time  they  eat  their  can- 
dles, chewed  their  shoe-leather,  and  drank  waterj  which, 
by  a  kind  Providence, preserved  their  lives.  But  all  this 
had  no  good  eiFect  on  Abraham,  for  he  still  continued  a 
most  vile  and  abandoned  profligate. 

Some  time  after  this,  he  entered  on  board  a  ship  bound 
for  Jamaica.  The  ship  was  cast  away,  and  he  and  se- 
veral of  the  crew  escaped  to  a  rock,  where  they  were  con- 
fined six  days.  Then,  through  a  kind  Providence,  an 
English  vessel  came  by  and  took  them  in,  and  brought 
them  home  to  England.  Abraham  then  went  to  his  old 
employment ;  but  continued  a  rebel  against  God.  About 
seven  years  ago,  when  we  had  that  glorious  revival  in 
Kingswood,  he  was  told  how  happy  the  people  were  who 
met  together  to  pray,  and  sing  praises  to  God.  "Why 
then,"  said  Abraham,  "I  will  go  and  hear  them."  When 
he  came,  the  word  reached  his  stubborn  heart,  and  he 
was  brought  into  deep  convictions.  But  one  night,  when 
he  was  in  bed,  the  Lord  removed  his  load,  and  set  his 
soul  at  liberty.  He  arose  and  came  away  to  the  school 
about  midnight,  and  called  Mr.  Hindmarsh.  He  then 
told  him,  "I  believe  I  am  going  to  die,  for  the  Lord  has 
forgiven  all  my  sins."  After  this  he  had  a  very  poor 
state  of  health,  and  was  not  able  to  w.»rk.  By  this 
means  he  soon  becanoe  so  exceeding  low  in  his  circum- 
stances, that  he  had  neither  bread  to  eat,  nor  a  bed  to  lie 
upon.     I  mentioned  his  case  to  a  few  friends  in  Bristxil. 


MR.    JOHN    MURLIN. 


75 


aiul  among  us  we  procured  him  a  bed  and  other  neces- 
saries. For  seven  years  he  continued  a  great  monument 
both  of  sufferings  and  of  patience,  and  then  died  in  peace. 
Oh  the  riches,  both  of  the  wisdom  and  goodness  of  G'tdJ 
How  abundantly  were  they  displayed  in  the  case  of  this 
poor  man,  who  had  spent  between  fifty  and  sixty  years 
in  a  regular  course  of  daring  wickedness;  and  that  God 
should  not  only  preserve  him  amidst  it  all,  but  at  last 
convert  his  soul,  provide  for  his  body,  and  then  take 
him  to  himself,  to  behold  his  face  in  righteousness,  and 
to  praise  him  to  all  eternity  ! 

The  two  years  I  stayed  in  and  about  Bristol,  I  had 
full  employrnent.  For,"  besides  riding  often  ten,  twelve, 
fifteen  or  twenty  miles  a  day,  through  all  weathers,  I 
had  to  preach  frecjuently  twice  a  day,  and  sometimes 
thrice,  besides  meeting  the  societie-j  in  various  ways, 
visiting  the  sick,  &c.  which  1  found  to  be  very  weari- 
some to  flesh  and  blood.  But  when  I  considered  what 
a  charge  I  had,  having  near  fifteen  hundred  souls  put 
under  njy  care,  exclusive  of  all  the  thousands  who  heard 
me  continually  ;  more  especially  when  I  considered  that 
each  of  these  souls  was  of  more  value  than  ten  thou- 
sand worlds  :  all  within  me  cried  out.  who  is  sufficient 
for  these  things  !  And  I  could  scarce  refrain  from  saying 
with  him  of  old.  Lord  send  by  whom  thou  wilt,  only 
send  not  by  me!  And  I  hope  I  shall  never  lose  sight  of  the 
greatness  of  this  undertaking,  or  the  awfulness  of  the 
charge  committed  unto  me  :  but,  rather,  that  I  shall  see 
and  feel  more  and  more  of  its  great  and  tremendous 
importance  every  day  of  my  life  .  that  I  may  be  mnre 
serious  and  humble,  more  upright  and  earnest  before 
him  who  hath  called  me  to  this  work,  and  before  whom 
1  shall  shortly  stand  to  give  an  account  of  my  steward- 
ship ! 

Friday,  July  19,  1775,  we  left  Bristol,  and  spent  ab:)ut 
a  week  with  our  friends  in  Bath.  Here  we  never  had 
much,  if  any  prospect  of  doing  any  great  good  till  verv 
lately.  This  year  I  added  several  new  members,  and 
many  others  found  peace  and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost. 
When  we  left  Bath,  we  called  on  "a  few  societies  in  our 
way,  and  came  to  London  on  Monday  the  29th.  This 
year  I  laboured  in  much  peace  with  Mr.  Hindmarsh  and 
Mr.  Pilmoor.     When  we  are  free  from  outward  trouble, 


'  O  EXPERIENCE    OF 

there  is  danger  lest  we  should  fall  into  a  lukewarm  state. 
If  we  desire  to  live  holy  and  happy,  we  should  keep 
God  and  eternity  always  in  view. 

Wednesday,  June  4,  1777,  we  left  London,  and  went 
into  the  west  of  England.  Providence  was  very  kind  to 
us  in  this  JDurney.  As  we  were  going  off  Salisbury 
Plain,  I  got  out  of  the  chaise  to  walk  down  a  very  steep 
hill ;  when  we  came  to  the  bottom,  as  I  was  going  in 
again,  between  my  wife  and  me  we  dropt  the  reins, 
which  hung  on  the  horse's  heels;  this  made  him  set  oft" 
in  full  gallop,  which  he  continued  for  near  a  mile,  with 
both  of  us  in  the  chaise.  lie  then  turned  off  the  road 
through  a  narrow  gate  way  leading  to  an  inn,  as  if  guid- 
ed in  every  step  by  an  invisible  hand.  The  inn-yard 
was  very  narrow,  that  he  could  neither  turn  to  the  right 
nor  left,  and  the  stable  fronting,  he  was  obliged  to  stop. 

0  God.'  surely  thou  didst  then  give  thine  angels  charge 
to  watch  over  thy  poor  servants  who  put  their  trust  in 
thee.  After  we  had  breakfasted  here,  we  set  off  again, 
and  went  on  through  the  societies  to  Cornwall,  where  I 
spent  about  five  weeks  with  great  satisfaction.  In  many 
places  the  congregations  were  so  large  that  I  was  obliged 
to  preach  abroad.  I  found  my  soul  was  much  blest.  I 
rejoiced  to  see  many  of  my  old  acquaintance  and  coun- 
trymen walking  in  the  way  to  heaven. 

Friday,  July  18th,  we  left  Cornwall,  and  came  safe  to 
Bristol,  on  Tuesday  the  29lh.  After  our  conference 
ended,  we  set  off  for  the  Chester  circuit,  where  we  ar- 
rived safe  on  Monday,  August  the  18th.  This  is  a  try- 
ing circuit  to  flesh  and  blood:  our  journies  are  very  long, 
and  in  many  places  the  congregations  very  small  :  yet 
it  pleased  God  to  bless  our  labours,  and  increase  our 
number. 

Friday,  January  16,  1778,  I  came  to  Whitchurch; 
but  my  cough  and  hoarseness  were  such,  that  it  was  with 
difficulty  I  could  speak  so  as  to  be  understood.  I  de- 
sired Mr.  Brown  to  supply  my  place  a  few  days,  while 

1  rested  at  Mr.  Sims',  at  Alperham.  But  as  1  was  not 
willing  to  be  idle,  I  wrote  two  hymns,  one  for  the  morn- 
ing, and  another  for  the  evening.  Since  that  time,  I 
have  wrote  about  sixty  more.  I  nnd  this  to  be  both  a 
pleasing  and  profitable  exercise  :  it  keeps  the  mind  quite 
engaged  on  the  subject,  and  lifted  up  to  God  in  prayer 
for  assistance. 


MR.   JOHN  MURLIN.  '  i 

Sabbath  the  26th,  I  preached  at  Manchester  in  the 
morning,  and  the  Lord  was  present  to  bless  us.  In  the 
afternoon  I  preached  at  Oldham.  But  oh,  what  an  alter 
ation  is  here!  The  last  time  I  was  in  this  place  I  was 
kept  a  prisoner  in  a  public  house,  among  drunkards, 
swearers,  and  fighters  ;  but  now,  as  soon  as  I  entered 
their  new  chapel,  they  sung  a  hymn  of  praise  to  God,  on 
my  account.  , 

From  hence  I  went  to  Leeds,  where  our  conference 
began  Tuesday  the  4th.  I  laboured  this  year  in  the 
Biadfoith  circuit,  with  Mr.  Hopper  and  Mr.  Johnson 
two  of  our  old  preachers,  who  have  adorned  the  gospel, 
and  been  useful  labourers  in  our  Lord's  vineyard  for 
many  years.  We  had  some  increase  in  our  circuit  this 
year,  and  some  found  peace  with  God.  But  I  find  Satan 
is  very  busy  in  every  place.  At  Halifax  he  caused  a 
division  in  the  society,  about  an  angel  with  a  trumpet  in 
his  hand,  which  one  party  would  have  fixed  on  the  top  of 
the  sounding  board  over  the  pulpit,  but  the  other  would 
not  consent  to  it.  And  so  warm  were  they  on  each  side, 
that  the  preachers  could  not  reconcile  them  :  so  the  af- 
fair was  left  to  the  decision  of  Mr.  Wesley.  When  he 
came,  he  gave  judgment  against  the  angel ;  and  to  put 
an  end  to  all  future  strife,  Mr.  Joseph  Bradford  made  a 
burnt  saciafice  of  it  on  the  altar  of  peace.  Is  it  not 
strange  that  men  of  common  sense,  and  who  profess  an 
uncommon  degree  of  religion,  should  contend  so  warmly 
about  such  trifles  as  these  } 

Saturday,  July  3,  17/9,  we  left  Halifax,  and  came  to 
Bradforth.  I  continued  here,  and  in  the  neighbourhood 
about  a  week,  taking  leave  of  our  friends,  in  hopes  to 
meet  again  where  pain  and  parting  shall  be  no  more. 

We  then  came  on  through  the  societies  to  London,  the 
place  of  my  present  destination ;  where  I  labour  in  con- 
nexion with  a  number  of  my  brethren  whom  I  highly 
esteem.  I  believe  we  love  as  brethren,  and  that  our  la- 
bour is  not  altogether  in  vain  in  the  Lord. 

Upon  the  whole,  when  I  look  back  on  the  many  years 
I  have  now  spent  in  testifying  the  ^race  of  God,  though 
I  have  not  made  that  advancement  in  the  way  which  I 
might  have  done,  yet  I  can  say  to  his  glory,  he  has  so 
kept  met  that  none  can  lay  any  thing  to  my  charge  with 


rs 


EXPERIENCE    0> 


regard  to  my  moral  conduct,  since  God  first  spoke  peace 
to  my  soul  in  April,  1749. 

I  am  clearly  convinced  that  God  has  called  me  to 
preach  his  everlasting  gospel.  And  the  more  so,  be- 
cause it  has  pleased  him  by  his  Holy  Spirit,  to  confirm 
the  word  of  his  messenger.  Indeed  I  am  fully  persua- 
ded, that  he  does  confirm  the  word  of  all  whom  he  hath 
sent,  by  using  them  in  turnipg  sinners  from  darkness  to 
light,  and  from  the  power  of  Satan  unto  God. 

And  I  believe,  that  Christ  is  able  to  save  unto  the  ut- 
termost, all  those  that  come  unto  God  through  him.  I 
cannot  credit  those  who  are  continually  telling  the  peo- 
ple, that  the  Canaanite  must  dwell  in  the  land  to  hum- 
ble them :  that  is,  Belial  must  be  a  partner  with  Christ 
in  this  work  ;  as  tho'  Christ  was  not  sufficient  to  hum- 
ble the  souls  of  God's  children,  without  calling  in  sin 
and  Satan  to  his  assistance*  Learn' of  me,  saith  the  Re- 
deemer, for  lam  meek  and  lowly  of  heart ;  and  ye 
shall  find  rest  unto  your  souls. 

I  bless  God,  I  can  say  to  his  glory,  I  do  find  constant 
communion  with  him.  And  I  pay  no  regard  to  those  who 
tell  us,  "you  must  come  down  from  the  mount:  and  you 
must  not  mind  your  frames  and  feelings."  No!  If  I 
have  the  peace  of  God,  do  I  not  feel  it  ?  if  I  do  not  feel 
it,  I  have  it  not.  And  if  I  do  not  feel  joy  in  the  Holy 
Ghost,  it  does  not  exist.  And  shall  I  not  feel  it  more 
and  more  ?  I  trust  I  shall,  if  I  go  on  from  faith  to  faith  : 
if  I  daily  grow  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge  of  our 
Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

I  bless  God  my  heart  is  engaged  in  his  work  :  and 
there  is  nothing  gives  me  greater  satisfaction  than  to 
hear  of  the  prosperity  of  Zion.  Yet  how  much  longer  I 
shall  be  able  to  travel,  I  cannot  tell,  as  I  have  a  settled 
rheumatism  in  my  knee  and  thigh,  and  am  far  past  the 
meridian  of  life.  But  in  all  circumstances  I  have  chosen 
God  for  my  portion,  and  the  lot  of  my  inheritance  for- 
ever. He  hath  been  my  helper  hitherto  ;  and  1  trust,  he 
will  help  me  to  the  end.  O  Lord  !  forsake  me  not  in 
my  old  age.  Lay  thine  everlasting  arms  beneath  me ; 
and  give  me  a  safe  and  comfortable  passage  through  the 
valley  of  the  shadow  of  death  :  and  then  bring  me  to  thy 
Iwly  hill,  to  praise  thy  name  forever ! 


MB.    CHRISTOPHBB   HOPPEK.  ff 

To  conclude  :  I  cannot  better  express  mv  present 
state  and  future  prospect,  than  in  the  tv<  g  following  stan- 
zas of  Mr,  Oliver's  beautiful  hjmn,  to  the  God  of  Abra- 
ham. 

Tho'  nature's  strength  decay,  and  earth  and  hell  withstand, 
To  Canaan's  bounds  I  urg-e  my  way,  at  his  command  : 
The  wat'ry  deep  I  pass,  with  Jesus  in  my  view, 
And  thro'  the  howling^  wilderness,  my  way  pursue. 

The  goodly  land  I  see,  with  peace  and  plenty  bless'd; 
A  land  of  sacred  hberty,  and  endless  rest ; 
There  milk  and  honey  flow,  and  oil  and  wine  abound^ 
And  trees  of  life  forever  grow,  with  mercy  crowned. 


THE  EXPERIENCE   OF 

TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

CoLK,  Mat  20,  1780. 
Reverend  and  dear  Sir, 

I  NEVER  had  the  least  desire  or  design  to  trouble 
others  with  my  insignificant  life.  And  I  know  how  dif- 
ficult it  is  for  a  man  to  ?peak  of  himself:  but  as  you  de- 
sire it,  I  will  do  as  well  as  I  can. 

1  kept  a  diary  the  first  year  after  I  set  out  from  New- 
ca»tle-upon-Tyne,  for  Ireland.  At  my  return  I  took  a 
fever  at  Newlands.  After  my  recovery,  I  looked  over 
my  journal  with  a  view  to  go  on  ;  biit  I  saw  so  many 
blunders  and  imperfections  therein,  that  I  immediately 
committed  it  to  the  fire.  Since  that  time  I  have  no  re- 
gular account  of  my  little  labours;  therefore  I  am  under 
a  great  disadvantage  in  giving  any  tolerable  account  of 
them. 

I  have  looked  over  my  manuscripts,  and  have  found  a 
few  memorandums  which  have  assisted  me  a  little. — 
Many  other  things  I  have  committed  to  memory,  which 
never  have,  and  1  hope,  never  will  be  erased. 

As  I  have  had  the  pleasure  of  travelling  with  you 
many  hundred  miles,  ia  England,  Scotland,  and  Ireland, 
these  last  five  and  thirty  years ;  I  have  been  much  help- 


80  EXPEmENOE      OF 

ed  by  reading  over  your  journals,  to  trace  out  my  crook- 
ed path.  By  these  few  assistances,  I  have  endeavoured 
to  give  some  account  of  my  nativity,  childhood,  and 
callings;  the  various  dealinj>;s  of  God  with  me  from  my 
youth  up  to  my  coHveisi'm ;  my  call  to  preach  the  gos- 
pel, the  opposition  and  the  success  I  met  with  wlien  I 
first  set  out.    , 

But  I  have  given  very  little  account  of  any  of  my  la- 
bours, trials,  comforts,  or  success,  these  la^t  eight  and 
twenty  years.  1  apprehend  these  would  swell  too  large 
for  your  present  purpose  :  I  will  therefore  leave  them 
to  that  great  day,  when  the  righteous  judge  will  reward 
every  man  according  to  his  works. 

May  the  Lord  succeed  yimr  labours,  give  you  peace 
in  the  way,  a  joyful  exit,  and  then  a  crown  of  glory. — 
Pray  for  me,  who  am,  reverend  and  dear  sir,  your  un- 
M'orthy  son  in  the  gospel  of  Christ 

CHRISTOPHER  HOPPER. 


AN  ACCOUNT  OF 

I  WAS  born  at  Low  Coalbume,  in  the  parish  of  Ry- 
ton,  in  the  county  of  Durham,  on  the  25th  of  December, 
1722.  Moses  Hopper,  my  father,  was  a  farmer  :  my 
mother,  whose  name  was  Ann,  was  daughter  to  George 
Barkiss,  farmer,  in  the  same  county.  They  were  both 
of  good  repute,  and  much  attached  to  the  church  of  Eng- 
land ;  but  strangers  to  vital  religion. 

My  mother  had  nine  children,  six  sons  and  three 
daughters,  of  whom  I  was  the  youngest.  When  I  was 
about  five  years  old,  I  was  sent  to  school  to  one  Mr.  Al- 
derson,  a  man  of  piety  and  good  u;iderstanding,  who 
taught  those  under  his  care,  not  only  the  branches  of 
learning  he  professed,  but  the  fear  of  God,  and  the  first 
principles  of  religion.  He  catechised  us  twice  every 
week,  and  made  us  attend  the  church  ^every  Lord's  day, 
and  all  holy  days  appointed  for  public  service.  After  1 
had  learned  to  read,  write,  and  understand  a  little  of  the 


MR.    CHniSTOPHER  HOPPER.  81 

mathematics,  I  lost  my  beloved  master,  who  made  a 
most  awful  exit.  He  had  been,  as  I  thoujihf,  more  de- 
vout one  week  than  common.  The  sabbath  f  jUowing,  he 
received  the  sacrament  at  Ryton  church  :  some  days  af- 
ter, a  few  gentlemen  with  fair  words,  persuaded  him  to 
play  a  civil  game  at  cards  ;  but  afterwaids  he  fell  into 
great  distress  of  mind,  and  could  not  properly  attend  his 
school,  which  was  often  left  to  the  care  of  his  eldest  son 
and  me.  The  spring  following,  after  many  sore  conflicts, 
he  sunk  into  deep  despair,  and  then  drowned  himself 

This  melancholy  event  made  my  heart  tremble,  and 
was  a  means  of  bringing  some  serious  thoughts  into  my 
mind  about  heaven,  hell,  death,  and  judgment.  I  began 
to  distinguish  between  vice  and  virtue,  the  godly  and 
ungodly  men.  These  impressions  remained  till  1  took  a 
severe  illness,  which  continued  near  two  years,  and  re- 
duced me  to  a  mere  skeleton.  Mr.  Foster,  who  attend- 
ed me,  pronounced  me  incurable. 

This  alarmed  me,  and  filled  my  heart  with  slavish  fear. 
I  judged  it  was  high  time  to  prepare  for  a  future  state; 
and  according  to  the  light  I  had,  began  the  business 
without  delay.  I  read  my  Bible  with  much  pleasure, 
prayer,  and  attention.  The  more  I  read  it,  the  more  I 
loved  it.  Many  verses,  and  some  favourite  chapters 
which  I  understood  best,  made  such  an  impression  upon 
me,  that  I  ?oon  had  them  by  heart.  The  piactice  of  pie- 
ty, a  form  of  prayers  and  a  psalm-book,  were  my  libra- 
ry. I  prayed  and  sung  with  fear,  and  some  degree  of 
joy.  I  had  very  slight  notions  of  my  depraved  nature* 
and  the  sin  of  unbelief;  but  clear  views  of  my  actual 
transgressions.  I  had  been  addicted  to  swear  when  I 
was  put  out  of  humour ;  and  to  lie  when  I  could  gain 
any  thing  by  it,  or  cover  or  excuse  a  fault.  I  had  been 
apt  to  pilfer  among  the  children  when  1  could  do  it  with 
a  good  grace. 

I  was  very  proud  and  prone  to  anger ;  yea,  of  a  cruel 
disposition.  1  took  a  diabolical  pleasure  in  hanging  dogs, 
worrying  cats,  and  killing  birds,  and  insects,  mangling 
and  cutting  them  to  pieces.  One  instance  of  my  inhu- 
manity I  perfectly  remember  to  this  day.  One  evening 
as  I  was  returning  home  from  school,  with  some  of  my 
friendly  associates,  we  found  a  great  number  of  frogs 
collected  together  in  a  marshy   place  :  we  proclaimed 


S2  EXPEUIENCE    OF 

war  against  them:  we  armed  ourselves  with  stones,  and 
with  all  the  fury  of  little  fiends,  murdered  the  poor,  in- 
nocent, defenceless  creatures.  We  then  left  the  field 
in  great  triumph.  But  God  soon  requited  me.  That 
night  I  dreampt  I  fell  into  a  deep  place  full  of  frogs,  and 
they  seized  on  me  from  head  to  foot,  and  began  to  eat 
the  flesh  oft*  my  bones.  I  was  in  great  terror,  and  found 
exquisite  pain  until  I  awoke,  sweating,  and  trembling, 
and  half  dead  with  fear. 

About  this  time  my  dear  father  died  of  a  consumption: 
I  hope  a  true  penitent.  He  was  interred  at  Ryton 
church  with  great  solemnity,  among  his  ancestors.  I 
was  then  left  to  the  care  of  my  indulgent  mother  and 
brethren.  Soon  after  my  father's  death,  my  eldest 
brother  married,  and  they  divided  my  father's  farm,  and 
the  goods  and  chatties  he  left  amongst  them;  but  I  was 
neglected  and  overlooked  like  one  that  did  not  belong  to 
the  family:  but  this  did  not  give  me  the  least  concern. 
My  disorder  still  continued,  with  my  convictions.  I 
prayed,  wept,  and  looked  towards  the  hill  of  Zion.  I 
found  great  comfort,  and  a  good  hope  through  grace.  I 
waited  every  day  for  my  final  dissolution,  and  longed  to 
be  with  Christ.  '  I  loved  God  the  great  Redeemer,  and 
all  mankind,  I  was  happy.  After  some  time  it  pleased 
God  to  restore  me  to  perfect  health,  beyond  all  human 
expectation.  After  my  recovery,  my  mind  was  quickly 
drawn  after  the  world  again.  1  saw  tiansitory  objects 
in  another  point  of  view,  than  I  bad  done  during  the 
time  of  my  illness.  My  love  to  God  and  religion,  and 
my  desires  after  another  world,  soon  grew  very  cold.  1 
quenched  the  Holy  Spirit,  who  departed  and  left  me 
again  to  the  folly  of  my  own  heart. 

As  I  was  tlie  youngest  child  of  the  family,  and  had 
nothing  left  me,  I  juclged  it  would  be  proper  to  think  of 
some  business  to  procure  bread.  And  my  mother  and 
brother  being  willing  to  pui  me  to  the  gram.'iiar  school, 
and  give  me  a  good  education,  1  accepted  the  oft'er,  and 
concluded  it  was  the  best  thing  I  could  do:  but  in  the 
interim,  one  Mr.  Armstrong,  a  shop  keeper,  wanted  a 
boy,  and  sent  f^r  mc.  1  embraced  the  opportunity,  and 
prepared  to  go  without  delay.  1  thought  I  should 
escape  the  wearisome  task  of  study,  having  rw)thing  to  do 
but  improve  the  learning  I  had  already,  to  qualify  me 


MR.  CHRISTOPHER  HOPPER.  8S 

for  a  merchant's  apprentice.  My  mother  accompanied 
me  to  Mr.  Armstrong's,  and  put  me  in  possession  of  mj 
new  place.  I  went  with  great  pleasure  ;  and  met  with  a 
kind  leception.  After  I  had  been  some  time  on  trial,  I 
was  to  be  bound  by  indenture  for  seven  years.  This  put 
my  youthful  mind  into  a  new  new  chain  of  reasoning.  I 
thought  I  would  never.be  bound  to  stand  so  long  behind 
a  counter ;  therefore  in  spite  of  all  persuasion,  I  left  my 
place  anil  returned  home. 

After  this  a  project  entered  into  my  head,  that  I  w^ould 
be  a  musician.  I  told  my  brother.  He  approved  of  it, 
bought  me  a  violin,  and  provided  me  a  master.  I  be- 
glin  with  great  assiduity,  and  concluded  I  had  found 
the  very  thing  that  would  make  me  happy.  I  played 
away  ail  my  convictions,  lost  my  taste  for  spiritual 
things,  and  banished  all  thoughts  of  a  future  world.  I 
now  employed  myself  in  doing  some  little  things  in  the 
house  and  about  the  farm  ;  and  all  the  lime  I  had  to 
spare,  I  spent  in  playing,  singing,  dancing,  fishing,  fowl- 
ing, and  whatever  came  next  to  my  hand.  I  was  then 
between  fifteen  and  sixteen  years  of  age,  and  began  to 
think  of  some  employment  whereby  I  might  have  money 
to  support  my  foolish  desires.  My  brother  kept  wa- 
gon-horses. When  the  wagon-ways  were  first  framed 
between  the  new  coal  mines  and  the  river  Tyne,  the 
farmers  were  under  an  obligation  to  their  landlords  to 
employ  a  certain  number  of  horses  for  that  purpose.  I 
was  a  strong,  active  young  man,  and  thought  I  could 
manage  a  wagon  very  well.  My  brother  was  willing 
I  should  make  the  trial,  and  gave  me  a  proper  horse  for 
that  service.  I  soon  made  a  great  proficiency  in  this 
dirty,  slavish,  and  dangerous  occupation.  And  I  was 
hugely  pleased  with  my  new  department.  Novelty 
pleases,  whether  a  man  sits  on  a  throne  or  a  dunghill. 
I  frequently  boasted  of  my  stt-ength,  agility  and  skill, 
in  this  sphere  of  action,  and  thaught  I  was  arrived  at  the 
summit  of  my  preferment:  I  found  it  a  singular  plea- 
sure of  whatever  company  1  was,  to  talk  of  feeding  and 
guiding  wagon-horses,  of  wagons  and  wagon-ways, 
the  nature  and  value  of  coal;  and  concluded  I  only 
wanted  a  little  money  to  make  me  a  fitter,  or  a  London 
crimp.  My  vain  mind  was  as  much  taken  up  with  those 
things,  as  the  mathematicians  with   their  abstruse  sci- 


84  EXPERIENCK    OF 

ence,  or  the  philosophers  with  the  wonders  of  nature. 
I  f'olliiwetl  this  business,  aud  the  various  branches  of 
agriculture  tor  about  five  year..  During  this  period  of 
my  life.  1  was  jj:;iven  up  to  fully.  1  gieedily  pursued 
accortiiiig  to  my  abilily.  all  the  pleasures  of  the  world. 
1  sjjeiit  nights  aiiti  days  together  in  hunting,  cock  fight- 
ting,  card  playing,  i!or!>e-race8,  or  whatever  the  devil 
brtiught  to  tort'n  or  ct.untry.  And,  O  grief  of  heart ! 
G.  ntleinen,  clt^rgyioeri,  mechanics  and  peasants,  made 
up  the  cr<)ud  !  bui  in  the  enjoyment  of  these  poor  toys, 
I  had  many  severe  checks,  and  sorrowful  moments. 
The  universe  appeared  as  a  vault,  wherein  true  comfort 
was  entombed;  and  the  sun  himself  as  a  lamp,  to  shew 
the  giviomy  horror  of  a  guilty  mind.  I  often  said  in  my 
cool  intervals,  hath  the  great  God  of  love  provided  no 
better  things  than  these  for  his  reasonable  creatures? 
Now  at  this  time  1  was  my  own  master,  and  lived  with- 
out controul ;  I  followed  my  former  pleasures,  but  with 
a  -trembling  hand.  I  found  Satan's  service  peifect 
drudgery,  and  all  earthly  objects  empty  and  vain. 

In  this  dull,  melancholy  round,  I  dragged  on  for  some 
time,  without  any  real  comfert  or  solid  satisfaction.  I 
was  not  happy,  yet  1  believed  there  was  something  which 
could  make  me  so,  but  I  knew  not  what  it  was,  or  where 
to  find  it.  Sometimes  I  reflected  on  what  1  felt  in  my 
affliction,  when  I  was  a  youth;  but  it  appeared  as  a 
dream.  1  was  frequently  in  great  and  imminent  danger. 
Hut  through  the  interpositions  of  a  kind,  unerring  Provi- 
dence, I  escaped  ten  thousand  snares  and  deaths,  by  night 
and  day,  at  home  and  abroad.  One  evening  in  particu- 
lar, too  of  my  companions  and  I  were  riding  home  in  a  wa- 
g.-ft  very  jovially,  and  as  we  were  passing  over  a  very 
high  battery,  the  horse  started  suddenly  to  one  side,  and 
snatched  the  wagon  from  the  planks :  immediately  it 
overset,  and  turned  over  and  over,  to  the  bottom  of  the 
hill.  The  trembling  spectators  who  beheld  this  awful 
event^concluded  with  shrieks  and  cries,  "They  are  all 
killed;  their  bones  are  broken  in  a  thousand  pieces." 
But  to  their  great  astonishment,  and  our  unspeakable 
comfort,  we  were  very  little  hurt. 

After  I  had  recovered  my  reason,  and  found  I  was 
alive,  and  out  of  hell,  my  stubborn  heart  yielded  to  my 
Almighty  deliverer.     I  feared  his  great  name,  wept  for 


MK.    UMKiSrUfHlSK    MOfriiB. 


joy,  and  was  overwhelmed  with  grief  for  my  folly.  This 
deliverance  wrought  a  deep  conviction  in  my  heart. 
The  true  light  shineJ  on  my  dark  soul,  and  God  laid 
me  in  the  dust.  I  only  wanted  a  spiritual  guide  to  shew 
me  the  way,  but  alas  !  1  could  not  find  him  in  the  country. 

In  May  1742,  we  heard  a  strange  report  of  one  Wes- 
ley, a  church  clergyman  that  had  been  at  Newcastle- 
upon-Tyne,  and  had  preached  in  Sandgate  to  many 
thousands  who  heard  him  with  astonishment.  This  new 
thing  made  a  huge  noise.  The  populace  entertained 
various  conjectures  about  him ;  but  few,  if  any,  could 
tell  the  motive  on  which  he  came,  or  the  end  he  had  in 
view.  He  made  a  short  blaze,  soon  disappeared,  and 
left  us  in  a  great  consternation.  Some  time  after,  his 
brother  Charles  came  and  preached  at  Tanfield  cross. 
I  ran  with  the  multitude  to  hear  this  strange  preacher. 
When  I  saw  a  man  in  a  clergyman's  habit,  preaching  at 
a  public  cross  to  a  large  auditory,  some  gaping,  some 
laughing,  and  some  weeping,  I  wondered  what  this 
could  mean.  When  he  had  concluded,  some  said,  he  is  a 
good  man,  and  is  sent  to  reform  our  land,  others  said, 
nay,  he  is  come  to  pervert  and  deceive  us,  and  we  ought 
to  stone  him  out  of  our  coasts.  I  said,  if  he  is  a  good 
man,  good  will  be  done,  and  it  is  plaia  we  want  a  refor- 
mation ;  but  if  he  is  an  impostor,  he  can  only  leave  us 
as  he  found  us,  that  is,  without  hope  and  without  God  iu 
the  world.  1  cannot  tell  what  induced  me  to  go  so  far, 
but  I  found  I  was  in  danger  of  being  called  a  Methodist, 
and  was  glad  to  dismiss  the  conversation  with  a  smile, 
and  a  piece  of  drollery. 

In  November,  Mr.  Wesley  returned  to  Newcastle, 
formed  the  religious  society,  and  laid  the  foundation  of 
the  orphan-house.  At  the  same  time  he  visited  Tan- 
field-Leigh,  Wickham,  Swalwell,  and  Horsely.  His 
name  was  then  well  known  in  town  and  country. 

All  mouths  were  filled  with  Wesley  and  his  followers : 
some  for,  and  many  against  them.  I  knew  very  little  of 
the  matter,  but  thought  it  was  most  prudent  to  join  the 
general  voice  against  this  new  way. 

The  spring  following,  1743,  John  Brown,  a  plain  far- 
mer, removed  from  Tanfield-Leigh  to  the  Low  Spenn, 
and  invited  Mr.  Wesley  to  his  house.  I  then  heard 
occasionally  those  preachers,  who  I  thought  could  tell 
8 


8$  EXPERIENCE    OF 

fhcir  story  well,  without  stammering :  but  still  founfl 
much  fault  with  this  strange  method  of  proceeding.  At 
this  time  there  was  a  great  clamour  about  religion 
amongst  all  sects  and  parties,  and  I  made  a  bustle 
among  the  rest.  I  said,  I  will  read  my  bible,  say  my 
prayers,  go  to  our  parish  church,  reform  my  life,  and  be 

{"•ood  and  pious,  without  the  scandal  of  the  cross.  Alas ! 
did  not  consider,  -'no  cross  no  crown." 

I  hobbled  on  in  this  lame,  ignorant  manner,  till  at 
last  I  became  deeply  serious.  1  saw  there  was  more  in 
religion  than  I  enjoyed  or  understood.  I  saw  that  God 
had  been  striving  with  me  from  my  infant  days.  I  look- 
ed back  with  astonishment  on  his  loud  calls,  compas- 
sionate helps,  tender  mercies,  and  great  deliverances.-— 
He  had  raised  me  from  the  gates  of  death,  when  all  hu- 
man help  failed.  He  had  saved  me  from  perils  and  dan- 
gers by  night  and  by  day.  He  had  richly  provided  for 
me,  when  I  was  left  to  myself  very  young.  A  sight  of 
these  favours,  raised  in  my  cold  heart  some  sensations 
of  gratitude  to  my  bountiful  benefactor.  I  said  in  my 
heart,  shall  I  trifle  with  the  Almighty  God  of  heaven  and 
earth  ?  Shall  I  fly  in  the  face  of  my  infinite  Creator  ? 
Shall  I  play  with  eternal  things  ?  Will  God  always 
strive  with  the  children  of  men  r  My  few  days  are  pas- 
sing away  like  a  shadow ;  pale  death  is  approaching ; 
the  Judge  is  standing  at  the  door  ;  eternity,  eternity,  is 
come !  alas  !  I  am  not  ready.  I  am  in  my  sins — unholy, 
unhappy,  and  therefore  not  prepared  to  die. 

I  will  cry  to  God  for  mercy.  He  willeth  not  the 
death  of  a  sinner.  It  is  his  pleasure  to  save  me  from 
sin  and  the  punishment  due  to  it.  He  waits  to  be  gra- 
cious, that  his  great  name  may  be  exalted.  He  is. good 
to  all,  and  his  mercy  is  over  all  his  works.  I  am  a  mon- 
ument of  his  sparing  goodness,  I  will  therefore  look  up 
and  hope  in  bis  word.  Behold !  this  is  the  accepted 
time  5  behold!  this  is  the  day  of  salvation.  God  hath 
sent  his  servants  to  shew  poor  sinners  the  way  of  life. 
I  was  then  determined  to  hear  and  judge  for  myself. — 
God  had  now  prepared  m.y  heart  for  the  reception  of  the 
truth.  I  said,  I  will  no  longer  be  led  by  the  laughing 
multitude,  nor  be  deluded  with  the  noise  of  vain  tongues. 

The  sabbath  day  following,  Mr.  Reeves  preached  at 
the  Low-Speun,  at  one  o'clock   in   the  afternoon.     1 


TiIR.  CHRISTOPHEU  HOFPE.R. 


87 


heard  him  with  great  attention,  but  found  a  veil  on  my 
heart.  I  did  not  clearly  see  God's  method  of  justifying 
a  guilty  sinner,  through  faith  in  the  blood  of  his  Son. 

In  the  evening  he  preached  again  on  these  words,  "And 
now  abideth  faith,  hope,  and  love,  these  three,  but  the 
greatest  of  these  is  love."  In  his  plain  pathetic  manner, 
lie  gave  us  a  definition  of  these  principal  graces,  with 
their  inseparable  concomitants,  and  shewed  the  unspeak- 
able happiness  of  all  those  who  had  a  saving  faith,  a  good 
hope,  and  the  love  of  God.  The  word  came  home  to  mj 
heart  Mith  energy.  The  veil  was  removed.  The  true 
light  shined  upon  me,  and  I  said,  alas,  I  am  undone  !  If 
these  things  are  true ;  and  doubtless  they  are,  I  have 
only  the  faith  of  a  devil,  the  hope  of  a  hypocrite,  and  the- 
love  of  this  present  evil  world.  My  mouth  was  stopped. 
I  stood  guilty  before  God.  My  stout  heart  melted  like 
wax  before  the  fire.  I  trembled  at  the  word.  My  strength 
left  me.  God  frowned  ;  his  law  condemned ;  conscience 
roared ;  Satan  raged  j  and  the  pit  was  ready  to  receive 
me. 

I  quietly  retired  from  the  croud  into  a  little  parlour  to 
cover  my  shame.  I  sat  down  on  the  side  of  a  bed,  and 
reclined  my  guilty  head  on  the  pillow,  in  great  distress 
of  mind.  It  was  the  cry  of  my  heart,  "God  be  merciful  to 
me  a  sinner  I  Save,  Lord,  or  I  perish  !"  Save  or  I  am  lost, 
for  ever  lost !  My  all  is  guilt,  pollution,  misery,  and 
helplesness.  In  this  wretched  situation  I  continued 
some  time,  shut  up  in  unbelief  as  in  a  prison.  I  could 
only  say.  Lord  help  me  !  He  then  heard  my  cry,  and  sent 
me  relief.  A  glorious  light  shone  into  my  heart,  and 
discovered  to  me  the  blessed  plan  of  man's  redemption, 
througli  the  blood  of  a  crucified  Saviour.  I  saw  God  had 
fulfilled  his  great,  original  promise.  He  sent  his  son  to 
save  sinners,  the  chief  of  sinners.  He  lived,  suft'ered  and 
died  for  a  lost  world.  "He  tasted  death  for  every  man." 
"He  gave  himself  aransom  for  all."  I  said  in  my  trouble, 
the  good  Shepherd  came  from  heaven  to  earth,  to  "geek 
and  save  that  which  was  lost,  to  bring  again  that  which 
was  driven  away,  to  bind  up  that  which  was  broken,  and 
to  strengthen  that  which  was  sick."  But  I  am  lost,  lam 
driven  to  the  mouth  of  hell,  ready  to  drop  into  the  flames: 
I  am  broken  to  pi«ces  j  I  am  sick  of  sin,  sick  of  myself, 
and  sick  of  a  vain  world  ;  1  will  therefore  look  unto  the 


<5o  EXPERIENCE  OF 

Lord  5  my  God  will  hear  me.  He  hath  died  for  me.  I 
shall,  yea,  doubtless,  1  shall  obtain  mercy  after  all  1  have 
done.  The  God  of  truth  hath  promised  mercy ;  the  Son 
of  his  love  hath  procured  mercy;  the  Spirit  of  truth  is 
ready  to  reveal  mercy;  and  the  messengers  of  peace  are 
come  to  proclaim  mercy,  free  mercy,  to  every  perishing 
sinner,  through  the  blood  of  the  everlasting  covenant !  I 
said,  i  can,  1  will,  1  do  believe  in  the  only  true  God,  and 
in  Jesus  Christ  whom  he  hath  sent.  1  am  freely  jus- 
tified. I  am  saved  through  faith  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 
God  is  my  God  in  Christ.  The  love  of  God  is  shed 
abroad  in  my  heart,  by  the  Holy  Ghost  given  unto  me. — 
The  Spirit  of  bondage  is  gone.  The  Spirit  of  adoption 
is  come.  1  can  now  cry,  Abba  Father.  The  same  Spirit 
beareth  witness  with  my  spirit  that  1  am  a  child  of  God. 
No  enmity — no  wrath — no  curse — no  condemnation — 
The  ruined  sinnner  is  saved.  I  then  found  a  glorious, 
and  undeniable  change.  God,  Christ,  angels,  men,  hea- 
ven, earth,  and  the  whole  creation  appeared  to  me  in  a 
new  light,  and  stood  related  to  me  in  a  manner  1  never 
knew  before.  1  found  love  to  my  God,  to  his  yoke,  to 
his  cross,  and  to  his  saints,  to  his  friends  and  enemies. 
1  said,  This  is  bible  religion,  scriptural  Christianity,  let 
men  call  it  what  they  please  :  a  delusion,  enthusiasm, 
Methodism,  or  Mahometism,  that  is  nothing  to  me:  hard 
names  do  not  change  the  nature  of  the  thing.  1  then 
went  on  my  way  rejoicing ;  a  wonder  to  my  father's  fa- 
mily ;.,to  all  that  knew  me:  and  to  myself.  All  my  idols 
fell  to  the  ground,  before  the  ark  of  God.  1  found  a  per- 
fect hatred  to  sin,  and  a  complete  victory  over  it. 

The  whole  tenor  of  my  life  and  conversation  was  new. 
Free  grace,  infinite  mercy,  boundless  love,  made  the 
change.  Afy  heart,  my  tongue,  my  hands,  were  now,  in 
my  little  way,  employed  for  my  lov'mg  God.  I  was  no 
longer  of  the  world,  therefore  the  world  began  imme- 
diately  to  hate  me.  Some  said.  Ah  !  what  think  you  ! 
Christopher  Hopper  is  converted  !  Others  said,  he  hath 
received  the  Holy  Ghost !  Others  said,  he  is  mad,  keep 
far  from  him,  come  not  near  his  habitation.  Some  of  a 
more  compassionate  turn,  pitied  me  :  but  all  agreed  1  had 
renounced  ray  baptism,  left  the  church,  and  was  in  a 
dangerous  situation. 


MR.   CHniSTOPHER  HOPPER. 


8» 


Soon  after,  Mr.  Wesley  camp,  to  Low-Spenn,  formed 
a  little  society,  and  made  me  a  leader,  to  help  and  watch 
over  them.  1  was  but  a  novice,  a  young  raw  disciple, 
unskilled  in  the  word  of  righteousness :  but  faith  in 
Christ,  and  the  love  ot  God  in  my  heart,  overcame  all 
the  powers  of  darkness.  I  found  unspeakable  pleasure 
in  doing  and  suffering  the  will  of  God.  I  laboured  dili- 
gently with  my  hands :  I  owed  no  man  any  thing.  I 
had  enough  for  nayself,  and  a  little  to  spare  for  others. 
I  attended  four  or  five  meetings  every  week  :  we  prayed, 
sung  psalms  and  hymns,  read  the  bible,  and  exhorted 
one  another  to  fear  and  love  God.  The  power  of  the 
Lord  was  present  to  heal :  he  owned  his  own  work,  and 
gave  us  prosperity.  Many  of  my  old  companions  wer« 
awakened  ;  also  my  poor  old  mother,  one  of  my  sisters, 
and  one  of  my  brothers,  who  had  been  a  champion  in 
the  Devil's  cause,  but  has  been  an  ornament  to  religion 
from  that  time  to  this  day.  The  fire  now  kindled,  and 
the  flame  spread.  I  had  one  invitation  after  another,  to 
High-Spenn,  Barlow,  Woodside,  Prudhoe,  Newlands, 
Blanchland,  Durham,  Sunderland,  and  many  other 
places. 

As  yet  I  had  not  examined  my  call  to  preach  the  gos- 
pel, nor  considered  the  consequences  of  such  an  under- 
taking. I  was  sweetly  carried  on  with  a  strong  prevail- 
ing influence,  and  a  loving  desire  to  promote  the  glory 
of  God.  I  saw  the  world  dead  in  trespasses  and  sins, 
void  of  light,  holiness,  and  happiness.  I  therefore 
thirsted  after  their  salvation,  and  thought  it  my  duty  to 
promote  it.  God  blessed  his  word.  Sinners  were  turn- 
ed from  darkness  to  light,  and  from  the  power  of  Satan 
to  God.  But  the  Devil  was  highly  displeased ;  he  saw 
his  kingdom  was  in  danger,  and  immediately  proclaimed 
war  against  me. 

I  met  with  great  persecutions,  many  discouragments, 
and  much  opposition  in  every  place.  Men  of  all  ranks 
used  their  power  and  influence,  to  stop  this  blessed  work 
of  God.  They  spoke  all  manner  of  evil  again«t  the 
work,  and  the  instruments  employed  therein.  They 
dispensed  with  two  or  three  awakened  clergymen,  tole- 
rably well.  These  were  regularly  ordained,  men  of 
learning,  gentleman  and  divines:  but  to  see  a  ploughman, 
or  an  honest  mechanic  stand  up  to  preach  the  gospel,  it 
3  * 


90 


KXPERIENCE   Of 


was  insufferable.  HpII  was  movpH  from  bpiipatli  •  a 
council  was  called  ;  the  edict  came  forth,  and  war  com- 
menced ! 

Laymen  and  ecclesiastics  joined  heart  and  hand  to 
suppress  these  jiestiletit  fellows:  not  with  acti  of  kind- 
ness, scripture,  or  reason;  but  with  invectives  and  lies, 
dirt,  rotten  eggs,  brickbats,  stones,  and  cudgels;  these 
were  Satan's  arguments  in  vindication  of  his  own  cause. 
It  was  the  common  cry  in  town  and  country,  'Press  them 
for  soldiers,  send  them  on  board^a  man  of  war;  trans- 
port them;  beat  them;  stone  them;  send  them  to 
prison  :  or  knock  out  their  brains ;  and  dispatch  them  at 
onee,  for  there  is  no  law  for  them.* 

Several  of  my  fellow-sufferers  had  shared  honest 
John  Nelson's  fate  already,  and  1  expected  to  be  the 
next:  they  had  their  eyes  on  me;  they  daily  pursued 
me  as  Saul  did  David  ;  they  waited  for  an  opportunity 
to  seize  on  the  prey,  but  the  hand  of  the  Lord  was  with 
ine,  60  I  escaped  !  He  delivertd  me  by  various  means, 
at  sundry  times,  and  ofien  in  a  very  remarkable  manner. 

Once  in  particular,  as  I  was  preaching  at  Wickham, 
to  a  quiet  attentive  congregation,  the  constable  came 
with  his  attendants  to  apprehend  me  :  they  guarded  the 
door,  and  stood  with  fierce  impatience  to  seize  me. 
AVhen  I  had  concluded,  I  stepped  down,  went  through 
the  midst  of  them,  was  conveyed  through  a  window,  and 
yfeiit  quietly  home,  leaving  the  peace-officer,  and  his 
gentlemen,  to  end  the  dispute  with  loud  words,  hard 
blows,  and  bloody  faces  1 

When  I  first  set  out  to  do  all  the  good  I  could,  with- 
out fee  or  reward,  I  did  not  foresee  this  violent  storm. 
I  begun  now  to  consider  what  latitude  I  was  in,  and 
whether  it  would  not  be  a  point  of  wisdom  to  tack  about, 
and  steer  for  some  quiet  harbour. 

There  had  been  many  things  said  and  vrote  against 
this  new  way  ;  especially,  against  those  illiterate  preach- 
ers who  so  exceedingly  disturbed  the  world.  I  found 
some  doubts  concerning  my  call  to  the  work,  and  almost 
wished  they  might  be  well  grounded,  that  I  might,  with 
a  good  conscience,  desist  from  preaching. 

»  This  was  a  great  mistake.  There  was  law  for  us :  but  we 
could  not  find  a  magistrate  who  had  courage  or  honesty  enough 
to  ptit  it  ia  foxcc. 


MR.  CHRISTOPHER    HOPl'KR,  9.1 

I  was,  therefore,  determined  to  examine  myself,  whe- 
ther I  had  a  riglit  to  preach:  or  whether  I  had  rashly  en- 
tered into  a  work  that  did  not  belong  to  me.  One  even- 
ing I  went  into  a  wood,  by  the  side  of  Darwent  water, 
much  dejected.  Clouds  and  darkness  surrounded  ine, 
and  my  spirit  was  troubled  within  me  :  I  said,  my  ene- 
mies are  too  strong  for  me :  there  are  few  on  the  Lord's 
side,  but  myriads  against  him  :  what  shall  I  do  ?  Alas  ! 
"My  family  is  poor  in  Manassah,  and  I  am  least  in  my  fa- 
ther's house."  1  am  a  worm  and  no  man.  O  my  God  ! 
let  me  enjoy  this  sweet  solitude,  and  see  my  friends  and 
companions  no  more  !  Let  me  live  as  a  hermit  in  this 
lonely  desert,  till  my  few  days  ars  ended  j  then  shall  my 
weary  spirit  be  at  reft. 

I  clid  not  want  ease,  wealth  or  honour ;  but  to  know, 
do,  and  suffer  the  will  of  my  Lord  and  Master.  1  thought 
if  1  have  made  a  mistake,  God  will  forgive  me,  and  1  will 
take  shame  to  myself:  1  will  desist  from  preaching,  and 
live  and  die  a  private  Christian.  But  if  God  hath  called 
me  to  publish  the  Gospel  of  his  dear  Son,  1  must  bear  a 
public  testimony,  and  leave  the  event  to  Him. 

In  the  midst  of  these  reflections,  it  occurred  to  my 
Blind,  What  evidence  is  sufficient  to  satisfy  me  in  this 
weighty  matter  .^  I  only  want  a  rational,  scriptural  evi- 
dence. Let  me  then  enquire,  with  prayer  and|fasting, 
what  reason  have  1  to  believe  that  1  am  called  to  preach 
the  gospel  ? 

1.  I  have  heard  and  believed  the  gospel,  and  found  it 
to  be  the  power  of  God  to  the  salvation  of  my  own  soul : 
Kom.  i.  16.  and  1  believe  it  to  be  the  powerful  means 
Avhich  God  hath  appointed  to  reclaim,  and  save  lost  sin- 
ners. 2  I  believe  all  power  is  given  to  Jesus  Christ  in 
heaven  and  in  earth,  Matth.  xxviii.  18.  therefore  he  alone 
hath  power  and  authority  to  call,  qualify,  and  thrust  out 
labourers  into  his  own  harvest.  HenceJ  learn,  that  this 
power  cannot  be  acquired  by  human  art  or  learning,  or 
purchased  with  gold  or  silver.  Acts  viii.  20.  3.  I  believe 
those  who  are  called  and  put  into  this  work  by  him,  shall 
turn  sinners  from  darkness  to  light,  and  from  the  power 
of  Satan  to  God.  Acts  xxvi.  18.  4.  1  hare  a  rational 
conviction  that  God  hath  committed  unto  me  the  word  of 
reconciliation:  2  Cor.  v.  8.  I  have  this  treasure  in  an 
earthen  vessel,  (in  a  feeble  mortal  body,)  that  the  excel- 


92  EXPERIENCE    Ot 

lency  of  the  power  may  be  of  God  and  not  of  man.  2  Cor 
iv.  7.  I  find  by  daily  experience,  "We  are  not  sufficient 
of  ourselves  to  think  any  thing  as  of  ourselves,  but  our 
sufficiency  is  of  God."  2  Cor.  iii.  5.  5  According  to  this 
conviction,  1  have  preached  the  gospel  to  sinners  dead  in 
sin,  and  they  have  been  awaked  and  conve.ted  to  God. — 
Children  of  the  Devil  are  become  children  of  God,  and 
heirs  of  eternal  life. 

Having  considered  these  things,  I  concluded  my  call  to 
preach  the  gospel  was  consistent  with  scripture,  reason, 
and  experience;  I  was  filled  with  joy,  I  said,  "Ihave  now 
the  countenance  of  my  God  ;  the  hands  of  his  dear  Son, 
the  bishop  of  my  soul,  laid  upon  me;  the  approbation  of 
the  three  presbyters  sent  by  him  ;  the  prayers  of  his  dear 
people  ;  the  testimony  of  a  good  conscience,  and  the  plea- 
sure of  seeing  Zion  prosper.  I  therefore  pray  earnestly 
that  God  may  incline,  persuade,  and  sweetly  influence  my 
heart,  and  opefi  my  mouth  by  his  holy  spirit,  to  dispense 
the  word  of  truth  to  a  world  of  perishing  sinners.  This 
I  desire  to  do  continually,  in  season  and  out  of  season, 
according  to  the  ability  he  hath  given  me."  My  droop- 
ing spirit  now  revived.  The  fear  of  men  and  devils  de- 
parted from  me,  and  I  set  out  with  double  courage.  I 
eould  say,  "Jehovah  is  my  light  and  my  salvation,  whom 
shall  I  fear  ?  Jehovah  is  the  strength  oi  my  life,  of  whom 
shall  I  be  afraid  ?  Then  the  word  of  the  Lord  came  un- 
to me  saying,  cry  aloud  and  spare  not,  lift  up  thy  voice 
like  a  trumpet,  and  shew  my  people  their  transgressions, 
and  the  house  of  Jacob  their  sins.  My  heart  replied, 
for  Zion's  sake  I  will  not  hold  my  peace,  and  for  Jeru- 
salem's sake  I  will  not  rest,  until  the  righteousness 
thereof  go  forth  as  brightness,  and  the  salvation  thereof 
as  a  lamp  that  burneth,"  The  Lord  was  with  me  night 
and  day  :  his  threatenings  passed  over  me  ;  his  promises 
comforted  me  j  and  his  precepts  were  my  delight.  I 
could  say, 

To  me,  with  thy  dearname,  is  given. 

Pardon,  and  holiness,  and  heaven. 

In  the  year  1744,  I  taught  a  school  at  Barlow,  in  the 
parish  of  Ryton.  My  time  was  employed  six  days  in 
teaching  the  children  under  my  care,  the  branches  of 
learning  I  professed,  and  the  first  principals  ef  Cbristi- 
ajiity. 


MB.  CHRISTOPHER  HOPPEK.  fjS 

1  spent  every  sabbath,  and  all  my  vacant  hours  in 
preaching,  reading,  praying,  visiting  the  sick,  and  con- 
versing with  all  that  providence  put  in  way.  God  was 
with  me,  and  blessed  my  weak  labours.  Sinners  were 
converted,  believers  multipliedj  and  my  soul  rejoiced  in 
God  my  Saviour. 

But  Satan  did  not  like  this  work  :  therefore  lie  stirred 
up  the  Rector  of  Ryton  and  his  Curate,  with  those  un- 
der their  influence,  to  prevent  me.  They  gave  me  first 
hard  words,  and  then  hard  blows  . 

In  a  little  time  1  was  summoned  to  appear  in  the  spi- 
ritual court  at  Durham,  to  answer  for  my  conduct.  1 
did  not  know  what  I  had  done,  but  was  soon  informed, 
that  I  was  impeached  for  teaching  a  school  without  li- 
ceuce  ;  and  what  was  still  worse,  for  calling  sinners  to 
epentance,  and  warning  the  wicked  to  flee  from  the 
wrath  to  come  ;  (an  offence  that  cannot  be  overlooked 
by  men  who  know  not  God  !  )  but  God  raised  me  up 
friends,  who  stood  by  me,  and  defended  my  cause  against 
all  my  adversaries. 

After  this  troublesome  aflfair  was  ended,  1  met  with  a 
trial  of  another  kind.  Before  I  was  awakened,  1  was 
deeply  in  love  with  one  Jane  Richardson,  a  farmer's 
daughter,  and  an  agreable  young  woman.  She  was  my 
first  love  :  and  had  laid  fast  hold  on  my  youthful  heart. 
She  had  every  accomplishment  1  wanted,  but  religiofi. 
Alas !  she  was  unawjuainted  with  God.  This  was  a  bar 
indeed  !  I  found  a  desire  to  break  off  all  correspondence 
with  her ;  but  was  afraid  she  could  not  hear  it.  1  was 
greatly  troubled,  and  prayed  for  Divine  direction.  God 
was  pleased  to  hear  and  grant  my  request.  She  was  soon 
awakened,  and  found  peace  with  God.  All  objections 
being  removed,  on  May  the  28th,  1745,  we  were  joined 
together  in  Ryton  Church.  She  was  a  loving  wife,  a 
faithful  friend,  and  a  very  agreeable  companion.  She 
made  my  joys  and  sorrows  her  own.  We  worshipped 
God  in  spirit  and  truth ;  and  rejoiced  in  the  Son  of  his 
love. 

The  same  evening  1  preached  at  the  Low-Spenn.  The 
Lord  was  with  us,  and  we  praised  his  name  together. 
We  lived  a  few  months  with  my  wife's  friends,  at  the 
Smeals,  near  Darwent,  in  a  most  loving,  agreeable  man- 
ner. God  made  us  of  one  heart  and  mind,  and  united 
our  souls  together, by  one  spirit  in  humble  love. 


94  EXPERIENCE  OF 

In  the  year  1746,  1  removed  from  Barlow  to  the 
preaching  house  at  Sheephill,  1  received  the  preachers, 
and  my  other  religious  friends,  with  much  pleasure.  My 
heart  was  open,  my  door  was  open,  and  my  little  table 
free  for  strangers.  I  gave  up  my  soul,  body,  and  sub- 
stance to  my  adorable  Saviour,  and  grieved  1  had  no 
more  to  give. 

1  commonly  preached,  or  met  a  class  every  evening, 
after  1  had  dismissed  my  scholars.  1  preached  twice  or 
thrice,  and  often  four  times  every  sabbath  day.  When 
1  had  a  day  or  two  to  spare  from  my  present  vocation,  I 
visited  Newcastle,  Sunderland,  Durham,  and  many  other 
towns  and  villages,  ten,  twenty,  or  thirty  miles  round 
Herein  1  met  with  much  opposition,  and  was  frequently 
in  great  jeopardy.  Indeed  1  did  not  much  regard  a  little 
dirt,  a  few  rotten  eggs,  the  sound  of  a  cow's  horn,  the 
noise  of  bells,  or  a  few  snow  balls  in  their  season,  but 
sometimes  I  was  saluted  with  blows,  stones,  brickbats 
and  bludgeons.  These  I  did  not  well  like  ,  they  were 
not  pleasing  to  flesh  and  blood. 

Ilsometimes  lost  a  little  skin,  and  once*  a  little  blood, 
which  was  drawn  from  my  forehead  with  a  sharp  stone. 
I  wore  a  patch  a  few  days,  and  was  not  ashamed  :  I  glo- 
ried in  the  cross.  And  when  my  small  sufferings 
abounded  for  the  sake  of  Christ,  my  comfort  abounded 
much  more.  I  never  was  more  happy  in  my  own  soul, 
or  more  blessed  in  my  labours. 

The  latter  end  of  July,  1747,1  had  a  call  to  visit  Corn- 
wood,  and  met  with  a  kind  reception.  I  preached  sever- 
al times  among  the  people  called  Quakers  ;  I  hope  good 
■was  done. 

On  my  return  I  had  an  invitation  to  preach  at  Allen- 
dale town.  A  great  congregation  attended,  who  behaved 
well,  and  heard  the  word  gladly.  The  latter  end  of  De- 
cember, I  visited  Allendale  again.  A  glorious  work 
broke  out.  The  Lord  stretched  out  his  hand  to  save  sin- 
ners. Mr.  Topping,  minister  of  that  place,  used  all  his 
art,  power,  and  influence  to  stop  it :  but  he  could  do  no- 
thing; his  strength  was  perfect  weakness  against  the 
Lord. 

•  It  was  at  Sunderland,  in  the  midst  of  an  outrageous  mob  pf 
sailwss 


urtl.    caRlSTOPHBft  flOfPER.  95 

I  went  from  town  to  town,  and  from  house  to  house, 
singing,  praying,  and  preaching  the  word,  and  great  mul- 
titudes followed  from  place  to  place,  weeping,  and  seek- 
ing him  that  was  crucified.  Great  numbers  were  awaken- 
ed, and  found  peace  with  God,  through  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb.  I  have  frequently  seen  a  whole  congregation 
melted  into  tears,  and  bowed  down  before  the  Lord,  as 
the  heart  of  one  man:  especially  once,  when  I  was  preach- 
ing in  Mr.  Lowe's  eld  barn,  at  Dod  Bank,  the  Lord 
manifested  his  great  power.  He  wrought  for  the  glory 
of  his  own  name,  and  I  stood  still,  and  looked  on  with 
loving  fear  and  wonder. 

In  the  year  1748,  1  gave  up  my  school  at  Sheephill, 
and  every  thing  that  was  comfortable  and  convenient, 
and  removed  to  Hindley-hill,  in  Allendale.  I  lodged 
'with  honest  James  Broad  wood,  and  wai  as  one  of  Jiis  fami- 
ly. The  presence  of  the  Lord  dwelt  in  his  house,  and 
we  lived  in  peace  and  unity.  I  formed  a  society  at  Hind- 
ley-hill, another  at  Westallen  ;  one  at  Alesden,  and  one 
at  Ninthead  :  the  Lord  was  among  them  of  a  truth.  1  had 
now  work  enough,  and  God's  blessing  on  my  labour. 
In  the  latter  end  of  this  year  I  visited  Weardale.  Some 
of  the  brethren  attended  me  from  Allendale. 

It  was  in  a  storm  of  snow  that  we  crossed  the  quag- 
mires, and  enormous  mountains.  When  we  came  into 
the  Dales,  we  met  with  a  very  cold  reception.  The 
enemy  had  barricaded  the  place,  and  made  his  bulwarks 
strong.  But  the  Lord  made  way  for  his  truth.  He 
opened  the  heart  of  a  poor  Scotch  shepherd  to  receive 
us  into  his  little  thatched  cabbin,  where  we  lodged  all 
night. 

The  next  day  I  preached  under  the  walls  of  an  old 
castle.  A  few  children,  and  two  or  three  old  women  at- 
tended, who  looked  hard  at  ug.  When  I  had  done  we 
followed  them  into  their  houses,  and  talked  freely  to 
them  in  their  own  language,  about  the  kingdom  of  God. 
They  heard  and  obeyed  the  gospel.  The  next  evening 
I  had  a  large  congregation,  who  heard  with  much  atten- 
tion, and  received  the  word  gladly.  Sometime  after  I 
preached  in  private  houses,  ale-houses,  cock-pits,  or 
wherever  I  could  find  a  door  open.  The  fire  than  spread 
from  heart  to  heart,  and  God  was  glorified. 

This  was  the  beginning  of  a  good  work  in  Weardale, 
which  has  continued,  and  increased  to  this  day. 


96  '"^■n^       ExrKRiBKcE    of 

The  spring  following,  in  the  year  1749,  I  begun  teach- 
ing a  school,  near  Hindlej-Hill.  But  the  work  of  God 
so  increased  in  my  hands,  that  I  could  not  properly  at- 
tend it ;  therefore,  in  the  latter  end  of  the  year,  1  gave 
it  up,  with  all  other  secular  employments,  and  cast  my- 
»elf  on  the  bounty  of  my  Lord  and  master. 

My  little  substance  soon  failed,  and  I  saw  nothing  be- 
fore me  but  beggary,  and  great  affliction.  Sometimes  I 
was  carried  above  all  earthly  objects,  and  had  a  comfort- 
able view  of  the  heavenly  country.  At  other  times  I 
was  much  depressed,  and  could  see  nothing  but  poverty 
and  distress. 

I  well  remember,  once  on  the  top  of  a  cold  mountain, 
in  a  violent  storm  of  snow,  when  congealed  flakes  cov- 
ered me  with  a  white  mantle,  Satan  assaulted  me,  and 
pushed  me  hard  to  return  to  my  school,  or  some  other 
business  to  procure  bread,  1  staggered  through  unbelief, 
and  almost  yielded  to  the  tempter. 

But  as  the  attack  was  sudden,  so  the  battle  was  soon 
over.  The  Lord  sent  these  words  to  my  heart  like  light- 
ning. '•  When  I  sent  you  without  purse,  and  scrip,  and 
shoes,  lacked  ye  any  thing?  and  they  iaid,  nothing,  Lord." 
Luke  xxii.  35.  I  answered  with  aloud  voice,  "  nothing, 
Lord  ;  nothing,  Lord."  All  my  doubts  and  fears  vanish- 
ed in  a  moment,  and  I  went  on  my  way  rejoicing  ! 

Constrain'd  to  cry,  by  love  divine. 
My  God,  thou  art  forever  mine  I 

Since  that  time  I  have  been  richly  supplied  with  all 
good  things.  This  day  I  am  full.  I  have  all,  and  abound ; 
praise  God  and  the  Lamb  forever  I 

The  work  now  begun  to  spread  in  the  Dales,  Hexam- 
shire,  North-Tyne,  and  soon  reached  White-Haven. 

And  now  God  raised  up  many  preachers :  men  emi- 
nent both  for  gifts  and  grace.  Some  of  them  continue 
local,  and  some  are  itinerant  preacher  to  this  day.  The 
latter  end  of  the  year'-'  1749.  1  left  the  Dales,  and  the 
dear  children,  God  had  given  me.  I  rode  to  the  Smears, 
where  I  parted  witU  my  dear  wife  and  friends,  with 
melting  hearts,  and  many  tears. 

*  From  tliis  period,  I  shall  oni/  ^ve  a  short  sketch  of  my  tra- 
vels, and  now  and  then  mention  a  small  incide  nt. 


MR.  CHRISTOPHBR  HOPPER.  97 

In  those  days  we  had  no  provision  made  for  preachers' 
wives,  no  funds,  no  stewards.  He  that  had  a  staff 
might  take  it,  go  without,  or  stay  at  home. 

1  then  set  out  for  Bristol.  I  called  at  Chester,  Dur- 
ham, Stockton,  Thirsk  and  Knarcsborough,  and  found 
the  Lord  in  every  place.  I  spent  a  few  days  at  Leeds. 
Here  God  opened  my  mouth  to  speak  his  word,  and  I 
hope  good  was  done. 

I  preached  at  Birstal,  on  the  t&p  of  the  hill  before 
the  foundation  of  the  preaching  house  was  laid.  Large 
congregations  attended,  and  the  power  of  the  Lord  was 
present  to  heal.  1  rode  on  to  Halifax,  and  found  their 
little  society  at  Skircsat-Green.  God  gave  us  a  bless- 
ing. I  then  rode  to  Rochdale,  and  preached  in  the 
evening  at  the  widow  Whittaker's,  to  as  many  as  the 
liouse  could  contain.  They  were  turbulent  enough,  but 
we  were  not  afraid,  for  God  was  with  us.  Next  day  I 
rode  to  Manchester,  and  preached  that  evening  in  a 
little  garret  l»y  thp  river  side.  The  congregation  mul- 
tiplied every  meeting.  On  the  sabbath  day,  the  old 
place  would  not  contain  them.  The  multitude  was  im- 
patient to  hear.  The  old  wooden  house  shook  under 
us.  and  put  the  congregation  in  confusion.  Many  trem- 
bled, and  some  believed.  The  next  evening  they  pro- 
cured me  an  Anabaptist  meeting  huuse.  The  place 
was  crouded.  They  heard  with  attention.  Many  were 
awakened,  and  joined  themselves  to  seek  and  worship 
God.  They  immediately  bought  a  piece  of  ground,  and 
laid  the  fiuindation  of  their  first  preachi.ig  house,  which 
is  now  their  dwelling  hi'Use.  I  rode  through  Cheshire, 
and  joined  a  society  at  Aipraham,  and  another  at  Pool. 
It  was  an  humbling  time  among  the  opulent  farmers: 
the  murrain  raging  amongst  their  cattle.  They  buried 
them  in  the  open  fields.  Their  graves  were  a  sole  :in 
scene.  The  hand  of  the  Lord  was  on  the  land.  I  vi- 
sited the  suburbs  of  Chester.  Gud  begun  a  giod  work 
then,  which  has  increased,  and  continued  to  thi*.  day. 
I  preached  at  Birmingham,  Evesham,  Stroud,  and  Kings- 
w  od,  and  then  rode  to  Bristol,  where  I  spent  a  few 
days,  and  I  hope  not  in  vain. 

0.     I  set  out  with  Mr.  Wesley  for 

and 


Jlavih  9.0,  1730.     I  set  out  with  Mr.  Wesley  for  Ire- 
land.    VV^e  crossed  the  N*'w  Passage  into   Wales,  and 


reached  Cardiff  before  night. 
9 


96  exp£;ai£nc£    or 

21.  We  rode  to  Brecknock  through  heavy  rain;  Mr. 
"Wesley's  mare  fell  twice,  and  threw  hini  over  her  tTead, 
but  without  any  hurt  to  man  or  beast. 

22.  We  rode  to  Builth.  A  congregation  waited  for 
Howell  Harris,  but  he  did  not  come  at  the  time  ap- 
pointed; so,  at  their  request.  Mr.  Wesley  preached.  I 
then  spqke  a  few  words.  It  was  a  time  of  love.  The 
Welsh  brethren  rejoiced  in  the  Lord.  We  then  rode 
to  Machynleth,  and  then  to  Dolgelly,  wet  and  weary 
enough. 

24.  We  rode  to  Dannabull.  It  rained  incessantly  all 
the  way.  Our  horses  were  tired,  and  we  were  ready  to 
faint,  but  God  was  our  strength,  and  we  rejoiced  in  our 
little  toil. 

Sabbath  day,  26.  Mr.  Wesley  preached  at  Howell 
Thomas's,  in  Trefollwin  parish.  In  the  afternoon  at 
Wm.  Piitchard's.  The  people  understood  no  English, 
but  their  looks,  sighs  and  gestures,  shewed  God  was 
speaking  to  their  hearts! 

We  then  went  to  lodge  with  one  Mr.  Holiday,  an 
exciseman,  who  lived  in  a  quiet  solitary  place,  where  no 
human  voice  was  heard  but  those  of  the  family. 

Wednesday,  29.  We  rode  to  Holy  Head,  and  sent 
back  our  horses  with  John  Jane,  who  had  travelled  from 
Bristol  to  the  Head  with  three  shillings,  and  had  one 
penny  left.  About  eleven  o'clock  we  went  on  board. 
As  soon  as  we-sailed,  we  had  wind  and  rain  enough 
without,  and  a  violent  storm  in  the  ship.  Mr.  Griffith, 
of  fJarnarvonshire,  a  clumsy,  hardfaced  man,  saluted  us 
with  a  volley  of  ribaldry,  obscenity,  and  blasphemy;  but 
God  stopped  his  mouth,  and  he  was  confounded. 

Thursday,  SO.  We  wrought  our  way  four  leagues  to- 
wards Ireland,  but  we  were  driven  back  in  the  after- 
noon to  the  mouth  of  the  harbour.  The  wind  then 
shifted  two  points,  and  we  ventured  out  again;  by  mid- 
night we  were  got  half  way  over,  but  the  wind  turning 
full  against  us,  and  blowing  hard,  soon  bi  ought  us  back 
into  the  bay  again.  Mr.  Wesley  preached  that  evening 
on  the  story  of  Dives  and  Lazarus,  to  a  room  full  of 
men  daubed  with  gold  and  silver,  but  they  were  soon 
satisfied  with  it,  and  went  away  murmuring.  After 
they  were  g<>ne,  we  had  a  comfortable  meeting  with  a 
few  plain  Welshmen. 


MB.  CHRISTOPHER  HOPPER.  99 

Saturday  31.  We  were  determined  to  wait  one  week 
longer,  it  the  wind  did  not  serve  before.  Mr.  Wesley 
preached  in  the  evening.  Captain  Griffith,  with  his 
dear  gentlemen,  made  noise  enough,  but  our  God  deli- 
vered us. 

Jpril  1.  We  returned  to  Mr,  Holiday's,  called  at 
William  Pritchard's,  then  went  to  Llanerell.  Ymadd, 
but  the  sons  of  belial  would  not  suffer  us  to  enter  the 
place. 

Thursday,  5.  Mr.  Wesley  preached  near  the  town  to 
a  few  precious  souls,  who  heard  and  obeyed  the  word. 

Friday  6.  The  wind  came  fair,  so  we  road  to  Holy 
Head  early  in  the  morning,  embarked  with  a  fair  wind, 
and  in  the  eveiiing  landed  at  Dublin.  I  spent  a  few 
days  in  that  city,  and  I  hope  not  in  vain.  I  then  visited 
Portarlington,  Edenderry,  Mountmellick,  Tyrrelspass, 
Bir,  and  Aughrim.  and  found  the  Lord  was  with  tne  in. 
every  place.  I  had  great  crosses,  but  greater  comforts. 
I  then  rode  to  Dublin,  and  spent  a  few  days  there  with 
much  sati-faction. 

July  22.  I  embarked  with  Mr.  Wesley  for  England. 
We  sailed  about  ten  in  the  morning,  and  in  the  after- 
noon came  to  an  anchor. 

Monday  23.  We  had  a  vehement  squall  of  wind, 
thunder  and  lightning,  between  the  Welsh  Sands  and 
the  rocky  shore  of  Lundy.  We  cried  to  the  Lord  iix 
onr  trouble,  and  he  delivered  us  out  of  our  distress. 

Tuesday,  24.  The  wind  was  contrary.  It  blew  a 
storm.  The  seas  ran  mountain  high.  We  were  tossed 
is  a  narrow  channel,  fall  of  shoals,  rocks,  and  sands. 
We  praved  for  help;  our  God  heard,  and  brought  us 
safe  to  Pill. 

The  next  day  I  came  to  Bristol,  where  I  spent  a  few 
days  with  pleasure,  and  then  set  out  for  Nevvcastle-up- 
on  Tyne.  I  vi'^ited  the  societies  in  my  way,  and  they 
refreshed  me  in  the  love  of  Jesus. 

I  spent  a  few  weeks  at  and  about  Newcastle.  My 
dear  friends  were  glad  to  see  me.  We  rejoiced  togetli- 
er.  I  then  set  out  for  Whitehaven,  where  I  had  a  good 
season.  The  Lord  crowned  my  weak  labours  with  suc- 
cess. About  the  latter  end  of  the  year,  I  left  White- 
haven, rode  to  Cockermouth,  then  to  Penrith,  and  the 
next  day  came  to  Hindley  Hill.    I  took  a  ferer  in  my 


lOO  EXPERIENCE   OF 

journey,  but  rode  on  to  Newlands,  where  I  took  my 
bed.  My  dear  wife  met  me  with  joy  and  grief.  She 
soon  catched  the  disorder,  and  we  continued  sick  foi^ 
many  weeks. 

We  lodged  with  Mr.  George  Hunter,  a  friendly  man. 
God  richly  provided  all  things  for  us.  He  blessed  us 
in  our  sickness,  and  restored  us  to  health.  Praised  be 
His  dear  name  forever! 

In  the  spring,  1751,  I  set  out  for  Bristol.  I  met  with 
honest  John  Nelson,  at  Leeds.  We  rode  on  tojfeiher 
with  some  other  preachers.  We  spoke  freely  to  all  that 
Providence  put  in  our  way,  and  God  blessed  our  la- 
bours. We  rode  through  heavy  rains  and  rapid  floods, 
but  the  Lord  preserved  both  man  and  beast,  and  brought 
us  to  our  journey's  end  in  peace. 

Monday,  March  11.  Our  conference  began  at  Bristol. 
The  moie  we  conversed,  the  more  our  love  increased  to 
God  and  one  another.  We  kept  to  our  first  doctrines, 
and  were  of  one  heart  and  one  mind. 

I  then  returned  to  Newcastle-upon-Tyne,  visiting  the 
brethren  in  my  way.  I  preached  every  evening  at  se- 
ven, and  e\erj  morning  at  five  o'clock,  and  often  at 
noon  day:  the  common  work  of  a  Methodist  preacher. 

Monday,  April  22.  I  set  out  with  Mr.  Wesley  for 
Scotland.  We  rode  to  Alnwick.  Our  friends  received 
us  with  joy.     We  praised  God  together. 

Wednesday,  23.  We  rode  to  Berwick.  Mr.  Wesley 
preached  at  a  young  man's  funeral  who  had  been  cut  off 
suddenly.  It  was  a  solemn  time.  Many  heard  for 
Eternity. 

Thursday,  24.  We  rode  to  Old  Camus,  through  a 
Scotch  mist.  We  rode  past  Preston  Field,  saw  the 
place  of  battle,  and  colonel  Gardiner's  house.  Hete 
that  good  man,  and  brave  soldier,  fought  and  died  for 
his  king  and  country.  We  then  rode  on  to  Musselbo- 
rough,  where  Mr.  Wesley  preached  in  a  large  school,  to 
a  company  of  wise  men,  so  called. 

Friday,  25.  We  rode  back  to  Berwick.  I  left  Mr. 
Wesley,  and  the  week  following  i-eturned  to  Mussel- 
borough,  where  I  spent  a  few  days.  I  preached  night 
and  morning  to  a  large  congregation,  who  heard  with 
great  attention.  This  was  the  beginning  of  a  good 
work  in  Scotland.     Some  years  after,  I  preached   at 


MR.  CHRISTOPHER   HOPPER.  101 

Edinburgh,  Dunbar,  Leith,  Dundee,  and  Aberdeen. — 
God  blessed  his  word,  and  raised  up  witnesses  to  tes- 
tify that  HE  had  sent  us  to  the  North  Britons  also. 

In  1752,  I  set  out  with  my  wife  for  VVhithaven, 
where  1  spent  a  few  days  with  pleausre  and  profit  to 
myself  and  others.  We  then  embarked  for  Ireland,  and 
after  a  tedious  voyage  landed  at  Dublin.  I  spent  a  few 
weeks  in  that  city,  and  then  rode  to  Cork,  where  1  spent 
the  winter  with  joy  and  sorrow.  We  had  warm  work 
in  that  city  for  a  long  time,  but  the  word  of  the  Lord 
prevailed,  and  silenced  the  enemy. 

In  the  spring  I  returned  to  Dublin,  and  met  my  wife 
and  friends,  who  had  just  escaped  the  fire  of  a  very  hot 
persecution.  This  year  I  had  many  blessings  and  cross- 
es, both  by  sea  and  land. 

I'll  praise  my  God  with  ev'ry  breath, 

O!  let  me  die  to  see  thy  day! 
Now  snatch  me  from  this  life  of  death, 

O!  come  my  Saviour,  come  away! 

In  the  year  1753, 1  left  Dublin  and  embarked  for  En- 
gland. We  landed  at  Whithaven.  I  first  visited  the 
Dales,  then  rode  to  Newcastle,  and  the  Lord  was  with 
us  of  a  truth. 

In  the  year  1754,  I  embarked  at  North  Shields  for 
London.  ay  22,  our  conference  began.  It  was  a 
time  of  love. 

In  June  I  embarked  for  Newcastle.  I  had  a  quick 
and  pleasant  passage.  I  preached  to  the  ship's  compa- 
ny, who  heard  the  word  with  joy.  I  landed  at  Shields, 
and  then  came  to  the  Orphan-house  in  Newcastle-upon- 
Tyne,  where  we  praised  God  and  the  Lamb,  with  one 
heart  and  voice,  for  mercies  we  had  received. 

J\Iay  6,  1755.  Our  conference  began  at  Leeds.  The 
first  question  was,  "whether  we  ought  to  separate  from 
the  Church  of  England.^"  After  many  deep  and  serious 
conversations,  we  concluded  that  it  was  not  expedient 
for  many  reasons. 

I  then  set  out  again  for  NewcasUe-upon-Tyne.  As  I 
was  passing  through  Chapel-Town,  I  got  a  dread^l  fall 
from  my  horse.  My  foot  was  much  hurt,  but  all  my 
bone.-,  were  preserved,  glory  be  to  God  and  the  Lamb! 
I  rode  with  much  pain  to  Newcastle,  but  enjoyed  great 
9* 


102  EXPEKIENCK   OF 

peace  and  a  calm  resignation  to  the  Divine  will.  Tliis 
I  believe  was  a  gracious  dispensation,  and  was  sent  to 
humble  me,  and  prepare  me  for  a  greater  trial. 

Jtugiist  15,  My  dear  wife  took  a  fever.  She  had 
great  pain  and  heavj  affliction  for  about  ten  days,  to- 
gether with  many  violent  temptations.  But  bhe  enjoy- 
ed perfect  peace,  and  was  fully  resigned  to  the  will  of 
her  Heavenly  Father.  At  last  she  triumphed  over 
death,  and  without  a  doubt,  a  sigh,  or  a  groan,  breathed 
out  her  happy  soul  into  the  arms  of  her  adorable  Re- 
deemer! 

On  the  28th,  Mr.  Massiot  preached  her  funeral  ser- 
mon to  a  very  large  congregation  of  true  mourners.—- 
The  same  evening  she  was  interred  amongst  her  ances- 
tors, in  Ryton  Church.  She  was  an  agreeable,  affection- 
ate wife,  a  constant  friend,  and  a  pious,  humble  Chris- 
tian.    She  is  now  in  Paradise,  and  I  am  left  to  mourn. 

O  may  our  heart  and  mind 

Continually  ascend, 
Tliat  Haven  of  repose  to  find, 

Where  all  our  labours  end; 
Where  all  our  grief  is  o'er, 

Our  suff'rings  and  our  pain: 
Who  met  on  that  Eternal  Shore, 

Shall  never  part  again. 

September  15.  I  once  more  embarked  for  Ireland, 
with  Mr.  Murlin,  Olivers,  Gilbert,  and  Massiot.  On 
the  19th  we  were  within  sight  of  land,  and  being  well 
satisfied  with  a  tedious  and  dangerous  passage,  we  left 
the  ship  and  got  into  a  fishing  boat,  and  after  rowing 
very  hard  fur  some  hours,  landed  at  Robertson's  Cove, 
about  twenty  miles  from  Cork.  We  were  poor  stran- 
gers now  in  a  strange  land,  among  a  people  of  a  strange 
i')gu.i:5e.  There  was  not  one  inn,  or  piivate  house  in 
the  little  village  that  could  give  us  a  night's  lodging.  It 
was  a  gloomy  time.  The  day  was  gone,  and  we  stood 
looking  one  at  another  like  a  company  of  poor  prison- 
ers. In  these  circumstances,  God  sent  us  an  honest  far- 
mer, who  was  a  papist,  and  he  took  us  home  to  his  house 
in  the  country,  and  shewed  us  great  kindness.  We 
lodged  that  night  in  the  midst  of  our  enemies,  but  the 
Lord  suffered  no  man  to  hurt  us.  The  next  morning 
cur  kind  host  provided  us  horses,  and  sent  a  servant 
to  conduct  us  safe  to  Cork. 


MR,  CHRISTOrHEK  HOPPER.  103 

Here  we  met  with  a  kind  reception.  Our  fiiends  re- 
joiced with  us,  and  praised  Gi>d  for  all  our  deliver- 
ances. I  lodged  with  old  Mr  Massiot,  who  kept  a  house 
too  well  provided  for  pilgrims.  I  spent  a  few  days  in 
that  city,  preached  night  and  morning,  and  visited  the 
brethren  from  house  to  house.     I  hope  good  was  done. 

I  then  set  out  for  Dublin,  where  I  spent  my  winter 
with  pleasure  and  profit. 

The  spring  following  I  returned  to  Cork,  where  I 
spent  about  two  months.  I  found  much  satisfaction, 
but  not  without  temptations.  I  met  with  reproaches, 
and  many  cruel  mockings,  but  found  that  spirit  resting 
upon  me,  which  gave  me  victory  over  reproach  and 
shame. 

I  then  rode  to  Limerick,  where  I  spent  a  few  weeks. 
I  met  with  some  severe  trials  in  that  city,  but  God  de- 
livered me.  I  then  set  out  for  Dublin.  1  found  my 
body  and  mind  very  weak,  yet  not  without  many  kind 
visits  from  my  dear  Lord. 

In  autumn  I  took  a  sore  fever.  Doctor  Rutty,  that 
venerable  and  wise  physician,  attended  me  faithfully, 
without  fee  or  reward.  He  thought  my  labours  under 
the  sun  were  ended.  I  bid  farewell  to' the  world.  [ 
was  kept  in  perfect  peace,  patient  and  resigned  to  the 
will  of  my  Heavenly  Father.  I  had  comfortable  and 
clear  views  of  Paradise,  and  a  world  of  happy  spirits. 
When  to  all  appearance,  I  was  just  on  the  brink  of 
eternity,  I  fell  into  a  sweet  rest,  and  dreamt  I  was  de.  i, 
and  saw  all  things  prepared  for  my  funeral,  and  that 
my  spirit  was  with  Christ,  in  a  state  of  unspeakable 
happiness,  but  was  sent  back  again  to  call  a  few  more 
sinners  to  repentance. 

I  then  awoke,  my  fever  was  gone,  and  from  that  mo- 
ment I  began  to  recover.  My  strength  of  body  soon 
returned,  and  the  Lord  sent  me  forth  with  a  fresh  com- 
mission. 

I  laboured  in  Ireland  till  July,  1758,  and  then  em- 
barked for  England  witli  Mr.  Johnson,  Greenwotd,  and 
Gilberts.  We  had  a  fine  gale,  and  soon  landed  at  Park- 
gate.  1  then  rode  to  Bristol.  Our  conference  began 
August  10.  It  was  a  good  season.  God  crowned  our 
meeting  with  love  and  unanimity. 

The  latter  end  of  September  1  arrived  once  more  at 
the  Orphan-house,  without  Pilgrim  street  gate,  Newcas- 


104  EXPERIENCE    OF 

tle-upon-Tyne.     My  good  old  friends  were  glad  to  see 
me,  and  received  me  as  one  raised  from  the  dead. 

In  the  latter  end  of  this  year,  1  had  som^»  thoughts  on 
changing  my  life  again.  1  jirayed  for  Divine  direction* 
and  took  the  advice  of  some  of  my  dear  fiends.  One 
who  loved  me,  and  wished  me  well,  recommended  to  me 
an  agreeable  person  of  a  fair  character,  and  on  April 
17,  1759,  we  were  married  at  St.  Andrews,  Nevicastle- 
upon-Tyne.  God  made  his  face  to  shine  upon  us,  and 
blessed  us,  and  amply  rewarded  me  for  all  my  days  of 
mourning.  He  doubly  restored  to  me  all  spiritual  and 
temporal  blessings.  This  was  a  day  of  prosperity, 
theref  )re  1  thought  it  a  day  of  great  danger. 

I  was  now  favoured  with  an  agreeable,  loving  com- 
panion, a  good  house,  a  jileasant  situation,  and  all  things 
to  make  life  easy  and  comfortable.  1  must  confess  1  found 
a  desire  t^j  settle,  but  not  to  leave  my  dear  Master's 
work.  I  began  a  little  business,  and  had  now  a  fair  op- 
portunity to  step  into  the  world,  but  my  dear  Lord 
would  not  suffer  me.  He  shewed  me  that  his  good  work 
would  bring  me  far  more  gain  in  the  end,  than  all  the 
shops  in  Newcastle.  So  1  set  out  for  the  north,  and 
preached  at  Placey,  orpeth,  Alnwick,  Berwick,  Dun- 
dee, u»selborough,  Leith,  New  and  Old  Aberdeen, 
Peterhead,  and  then  returned  to  Newcastle  the  same 
way. 

I  then  set  out  for  the  London  conference,  visited  Can- 
terbury and  Dover,  returned  to  London,  and  then  rode 
back  to  Newcastle.  Id  all  those  journeys  1  found  the 
Lord  was  with  me,  and  gave  his  word  success. 

In  the  year  1760,  1  again  visited  Scotland.  The  work 
of  the  Lord  prospered  in  our  hands.  Sinners  were  con- 
verted, mourners  comforted,  and  the  saints  built  up  in 
theii  most  holy  faith.  We  had  now  a  fair  prospect  of  a 
gieat  harvest  in  North-Britain,  till  men  of  corrupt  minds 
sti'  red  up  the  spirit  of  vain  controversy;  we  then  spent 
0ur  time  and  strength  about  the  meaning  of  words,  in- 
stead of  promoting  the  fear  and  love  of  God.  My  soul 
was?  tr«!ubled,  and  my  spirit  g' ieved  within  me,  '^o  see  so 
manv  precious  souls  turned  out  of  the  way  of  h')line8s 
and  happiness,  by  noisy  disputes  and  foolish  jangling. 
These  men  will  blush  in  the  last  day  who  have  done  this 
great  evil.    Let  me  live   with  men  of  peace,  who  love 


MR.  CHRISTOPHER  HOPPER.  105 

God  and  the  brethren,  and  enjoj  the  life  of  religion  in 
their  own  souls. 

April  28,  1761,  Mr.  Wesley  came  to  Edinburgh,  and 
the  Lord  gave  his  word  success.  Sinners  heard  with 
attention,  and  the  saints  rejoiced  in  God  their  Saviour. 

I  visited  Dundee  and  Aberdeen,  returned  to  Edinburgh 
and  from  thence  to  Newcastle-upon-Tyne,  where  God 
blessed  his  own  word.  1  then  set  out  with  Mr.  Wesley, 
and  several  of  the  brethren,  for  Durham.  Mr.  Wesley 
preached  in  a  green  field,  by  the  river-side,  to  a  very 
large  auditory.  One  poor  man  was  favoured  with  a  stone, 
and  lost  a  little  blood;  but  iu  general  they  behaved  tolera- 
bly well.  !  preached  in  the  evening,  in  the  same  field,  to 
a  large  congregation.  A  gentleman,  so  called,  employed 
a  base  man  to  strip  himself  naked,  and  swim  through 
the  river  to  disturb  the  hearers;  but  a  good  wom.in  soon 
hissed  him  off  the  stage,  so  he  was  glad  to  return  by  the 
way  he  came,  with  much  disgrace.  Mr.  John  Greenwood 
informed  me  afterwards,  that  the  very  gentleman  who 
encouraged  the  poor  wretch  above  mentioned,  was  some 
time  after  found  drowned  in  the  same  river.  O  God! 
thy  judgments  are  unsearchable,  and  thy  ways  past  find- 
ing out ! 

In  August  I  left  Newcastle,  and  set  out  with  my  wife 
for  Londim.  It  was  a  disagreeable  journey,  but  God 
blessed  and  preserved  us  from  all  evil.  September,  1, 
our  conference  began.  On  the  22d,  King  George  the 
third  was  crowned.  Royalty  was  conspicously  display- 
ed, and  the  glory  of  this  present  world  set  forth  in  all  its 
splendor.  But  Kings  must  die,  and  then  all  their  glory 
shall  vanish  away. 

In  July,  1763,  I  set  out  for  London.  Our  conference 
began  and  ended  in  love.  I  then  set  out  for  Scotland.  I 
spent  my  winter  in  Edinburgh,  Dunbar  and  Berwick. 
We  lived  in  a  little  dark  room  at  Edinburgh,  encompas- 
sed round  with  old  black  walls,  disagreeable  enough:  but 
we  had  a  good  season,  many  poor  sinners  were  convert- 
ed to  God.  We  saw  the  fruit  of  our  labours  and  rejoic- 
ed. My  dear  Edinburgh  friends  were  very  kind,  espe- 
cially Lady  Gardiner,  that  good  old  saint,  who  is  now 
with  Jesus  in  Paradise     Praise  God  for  all  his  mercies. 

In  the  year  1764,  I  continued  labouring  in  Scotland. 
On  June,  I,  I  set  out  with  Mr.   Wesley,  and  my  wife,  for 


106  fcXHERIENCK    OF 

Aberdeen.  We  had  a  pleasant  and  profitabe  journey. 
Tliis  summer  we  laid  the  foundation  of  our  Octagon  at 
Aberdeen.  The  Lord  gave  me  success.  Many  precious 
souls  were  awakened,  and  added  to  the  general  assembly 
■and  church  of  the  First  born,  which  are  enrolled  in  hea- 
ven. 

November  13,  we  set  out  for  Edinburgh,  and  rode  to 
Dundee.  The  15th,  we  rode  to  Kinghorn,  and  the  next 
morning  crossed  the  Firth,  and  took  the  stage  to  Edin- 
burgh. Our  friends  received  us  with  joy,  and  we  prais- 
ed God  together. 

In  the  year  17G5,  we  laid  the  foundation  of  our  octagon 
at  Edinburgh.  I  met  with  much  opposition,  and  many 
discouragements,  but  the  Lord  was  on  my  side,  and 
helped  me.  'I  collected  all  1  could,  gave  all  1  could  spare, 
and  borrowed  above  three  hundred  pounds  to  carry  on 
and  complete  that  building. 

I  preached  on  the  foundation  one  Sabbath  day  to  a 
large  congregation.  The  power  of  the  Lord  was  pre- 
sent to  heal,  and  many  rejoiced  to  see  that  day.  1 
preached  every  Lord's  day  on  the  Ca'ton  Hill,  a  large 
Golg(ttha  !  a  place  of  a  scull  1  By  preaching  so  often  in 
the  cold  air,  to  very  large  auditories,  with  other  diffi- 
culties and  hard  labours,  I  laid  the  foundation  of  a  very 
dangerous  disorder  in  my  bowels,  which  baffled  all  the 
skill  of  physicians,  and  the  virtue  of  medicine,  for  more 
than  three  vears.      Hut  1  could  say. 

Let  sickness  blast,  and  death  devour. 

If  Heav'n  will  r(*compense  our  pams: 
Perish  the  grass,  and  fade  the  flow'r. 
Since  firm  the  word  of  God  remains. 

In  July  1  set  out  for  England,  i  spent  a  few  days  at 
Newcastle-upon-Tyne,  and  then  rode  to  Manchester. 
Our  conference  began  the  20th  of  August,  and  ended  the 
2Sd.  .  God  refreshed  us.  1  visited  the  brethren,  and 
then  set  out  for  the  North. 

In  October  Mr.  Alexander  Coats  died  at  the  Orphan- 
House,  in  perfect  peace.  1  saw  him  fall  asleep  in  the 
arms  of  our  adorable  Saviour,  without  a  douht.  Farewell, 
my  brother,  for  a  season!  but  we  shall  meet  again  to  part 
no  more. 

In  the  year  1766, 1  laboured  in  Newcastle  circuit,  but 
was  very  much  indisposed,  1  was  just  worn  out.  My 
bodily  strength  failed.     I  was  on  the  verge  of_eternity. 


MR.  GHRISTOPHEK  HOPPER.  J07 

But  blessed  be  God,  1  enjojed  great  tranquility  of  mind^ 
and  very  good  spit  if s 

Accepting-  my  pain, 

1  no  long-er  complain. 
But  wait  till  at  last  I  the  IlaVen  obtain. 

Till  the  storms  are  all  o'er, 

And  afflicted  no  more, 
On  a  plank  of  the  Ship  I  escape  to  the  shore. 

February  20.  That  old  saint,  He  .ry  Jackson,  died 
full  of  love,  being  ninety-nine  years  and  five  months  old. 
Let  me  die  his  death. 

Au-ust  12.  Our  conference  began  at  Leeds.  We  en- 
joyed a  solemn  sense  of  the  presence  of  God.  We  met, 
and  parted  in  luve.  1  then  rode  to  Newcastle,  and  spent 
a  few  months  in  that  circuit.  My  disorder  continued, 
hut  1  could  say,  "When  1  am  weak,  then  1  am  strong." 

In  July,  1767,  I  set  out  for  London.     God    was   with 

rae,  and  gave  me   will  and  power  to  preach  his  word 

August  18,  our  conference  began.  Dear  Mr.  Whitefield, 
and  honest  Howell  Harris  attended.  All  was  love;  all 
was  harmony  :  it  was  a  pentecost  indeed. 

On  Tuesday,  August  1.  1769,  our  conference  began  at 
Leeds.  The  Spit  it  of  God  rested  upon  us,  and  made  us 
of  one  mind  and  judgment. 

In  the  latter  end  of  July,  1770,  I  rode  to  London.— 
Ou!-  conference  began  August  the  7th.  The  Lord  pre- 
sided over  us,  and  madj  it  a  time  of  love.  I  then  set 
out  for  Birstal,  where  I  had  laboured  two  years  with  great 
satisfaction,  and  I  hope  with  some  success. 

In  the  year  1771,  theCalvinists  proclaimed  open  war 
against  the  Remonstrants.  In  August,  several  of  them 
met  at  our  conference  in  Bristol  :  but  their  stren<>th 
failed;  they  could  do  nothing.  For  truth  is  great,  arid 
will  prevail. 

The  two  following  years  I  laboured  in  Newcastle  cir- 
cuit, among  my  dear  friends  and  countrymen,  whom  I 
love  for  the  truth's  s<ike.  Great  things  hath  the  Lord 
done  in  that  pai  t  of  his  vineyard. 

Ill  toe  year  1774,  1  was  appointed  at  the  Bristol  con- 
ference far  Liverpool  circuit.  I  tjok  leave  of  my  dear 
Newcastle  friends  with  aiach  reluctancy.  and  set  out 
with  my  wife  for  Lancashire.  September  26  we  ■  eaihed 
Bolton  in  the  Mntrs,  where  we  met  with  a  friendly  re- 
cei)tion.      We  lodged  with  honest  George  Kskrick.     The 


lOS  EfXPERIEKCE    Of 

presence  of  the  Lord  dwelt  with   us,  and  we  enjoyed 
great  peace. 

In  the  year  1775,  I  removed  to  Liverpool,  where  I 
spent  a  few  months  with  pleasure  and  profit:  I  found 
much  love  b')th  to  the  place  and  people.  They  bore  with 
my  bodilv  weakness,  and  refreshed  me  in  the  Lord. 

In  July,  1776,  I  left  Bolton,  and  set  out  for  London. 
Our  conference  began  the  first  Tuesday  in  August.  The 
shout  of  a  King  was  in  the  midst  of  us,  and  we  prai  ed 
God  together  for  all  that  he  had  done.  I  spent  a  few 
days  in  that  great  city;  preached  the  word,  visited  a  few 
dear  Christian  friends,  and  then  set  out  for  Manchester. 

November  7, 1  set  out  once  more  for  Ireland.  The  8, 
1  reached  Conway,  the  9th,  Holy-Head;  the  lOth,  I  em- 
barked and  after  a  dangerous  passage,  landed  that  eve- 
wing  in  Dublin,  i  preached  every  evening  at  Wood  street, 
to  a  large  auditory.  God  blessed  his  word,  and  ga^e  me 
success.  1  visited  a  few  poor  backsliders,  who  were  glad 
to  see  the  face  ofan  old  friend.  May  God  resiore  them  for 
Chi  i'.t's  sake!  Monday  the  24th,  1  embarked  for  England: 
25th,  landed  at  the  Head,  and  took  the  stage  for  Conway. 
26th,  1  came  to  Chester,  and  the  28th,  to  Manchester  ; 
wherp  my  wife  and  friends  received  me  with  great  joy. 
We  j'laihed  God  for  trials  and  blessings. 

It;  the  latter  end  of 'July.  1777,  1  set  out  for  Bristol. 
I  visited  the  principal  societies  in  my  way,  and  God  gave 
ine  strength  of  body  and  peace  of  mind.  Our  conference 
began  the  first  Tuesday  in  August.  We  had  a  good  sea- 
son. Love  to  God  and  man  crowned  our  meeting.  1 
then  rode  to  Manche>ter,  and  spent  a  few  days  with  my 
old  friends.  I  published  tiie  word  of  salvation  in  Sal- 
ford,  on  the  sabbath-day,  to  a  large  congiegation.  Some 
of  our  mistaken  churchmen  presented  the  fire-eogine: 
but  tl'.eir  strength  failed  they  could  d  •  noiliiiig.  This 
vain  a'ten»pt  seemed  t;>  be  the  last  effort  of  a  couquered 
enemy.  I  then  set  out  for  Bradforth  in  Yorkshire,  where 
1  spent  un  agrecebleyear  with  Mr.  Benson,  and  my  dear 
fieod.s.  1  hope  our  week  labours  were  made  a  blessing 
to  many. 

In  tiie  year  1778,  oui' conference  began  at  Leeds,  the 
firvt  iis'^-day  in  August.  1  was  stationed  another  year. 
vith  Ml.  Murlinarid  J  ihnsoii,  in  Bradfoith  circuit.  We 
laboured  together  in  love.     God  was  with   us,  and  gave 

lis   BUtCCfeS 


MR.    OHRISTOPHKR    HOFPKB.  109 

August  25,  1779,  I  took  my  leave  of  our  dear  friends 
at  Bradforth,  and  set  out  with  my  wife  for  Coin.  I  met 
with  many  agreeable,  and  some  disagreeable  things. 
The  grand  enemy  had  wounded  many,  who,  I  hope,  are 
now  healed  again.  We  have  had  a  severe  winter, 
many  crosses  and  trials,  and  many  blessings.  The  Lord 
hath  owned  our  weak  labours,  and  given  us  a  little  suc- 
cess. The  last  time  I  visited  the  classes,  in  this  circuit, 
we  added  tb-'irty  eight  to  our  number,  twenty -three  to  the 
church  of  the  living  God,  who  had  found  remission  of 
sins  through  the  blood  of  our  adorable  Saviour.  Nine 
have  died  in  peace,  and  are  now  with  the  spirits  of  just 
men  made  perfect  in  the  paradise  of  God.  t 

I  can  say  but  little  about  the  controversy  between  the 
Calvinian  brethren  and  the  Arminians.  I  believe  Christ 
tasted  death  for  every  man,  but  I  do  not  love  contention. 
I  am  no  disputant;  I  therfore  leave  polemical  divinity  to 
men  of  learning,  abilities  and  experience.  I  can  only  say, 
I  have  been  greatly  humbled  for  my  sins.  I  know  in 
whom  I  have  believed.  I  know  God  is  love.  I  know  it  by 
experience.  He  hath  loved  me,  and  given  his  Son  for 
me.  I  have  peace  with  God,  through  faith  in  the  blood 
of  Christ,  i  am  at  peace  with  all  the  Saints;  with  all 
who  love  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity.  I  desire 
to  follow  after  peace  with  all  men.  I  hate  sin,  and 
by  the  grace  of  God  I  overcome  it.  I  love  holiness, 
the  whttle  mind  that  was  in  Christ,  and  I  pursue  it. 
By  all  means  I  follow  on,  if  I  may  apprehend  that, 
for  which  1  was  also  apprehended  ot  Christ  Jesus.  I 
aim  at,  wish,  and  pray  for  all  that  grace,  glory,  and  im- 
mortality promised  by  the  Father,  and  procured  by  the 
son  of  his  love.  This  1  call  Bible  religion,  genuine  Chris- 
tianity, and  this  religion  I  call  mine. 

This  1  desire  to  recommend  to  all  men,  by  preaching  his 
word  in  the  pulpit,  in  the  house  and  in  the  way;  in  season 
and  »ut  of  season,  according  Ut  my  ability. 

W  ithout  this  religion,  all  names,  notions,  and  forms, 
among  all  sects  and  parties,  are  but  mere  parade  and 
idle  show.  Without  repentance,  without  faith  in  the 
blood  of  Christ,  without  holiness  of  heart  and  life,  with- 
out I  jve  to  G  .'d  and  man,  all  is  nothing.  Let  all  men 
couisider  this  well,  and  pray  f<)r,  and  seek  after  this  one 
thin^  needful,  that  they  may  be  saved  from  sin  in  this 
life,  anti  from  hell  in  the  great  day  of  the  Lord  Jesus  I 
10 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 

Who,  ^(&wm  <^lUi-fm,lh^ 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

liererend  and  dear  Sir, 

I  WAS  born  at  Stockport,  in  Cheshire,  in  the  year 
1732.  Mj  father  was  fond  of  me  to  excess.  I  went  to 
school  till  I  was  thirteeo,  and  there  contracted  such  ac- 
quaintance as  led  me  into  every  kind  of  folly,  dancing, 
plays,  racing,  cock-fighting,  and  the  like,  which  had  laid 
a  foundation  for  all  the  vices  incident  to  youth.  Indeed, 
the  spirit  of  God  was  daily  striving  with  me,  but  my 
companions  made  all  his  strivings  ineffectual. 

My  father  designed  to  give  me  a  liberal  education, 
and  accordingly  put  me  to  the  grammar  school;  but  being 
reduced  in  the  world,  he  soon  took  me  from  school  into 
the  shop,  where  I  remained  some  years. 

The  Methodists  then  coming  to  Stockport,  I  was  great- 
ly prejudiced  against  them,  and  knowing  one  of  them, 
called  upon  him,  and  laboured  much  to  convince  him 
they  were  of  a  bad  religion,  and  were  enemies  to  the 
churcli.  But  he  soon  convinced  me  that  I  had  no  reli- 
gion at  all,  so  I  came  near  him  no  more.  But  I  began 
to  feel  myself  a  sinner,  and  resolved  to  drop  all  my  ac- 
quaintance and  diversions,  and  to  keep  close  to  the 
church,  and  repeat  the  prayers  and  collects  every  day. 

Accordingly  I  dropped  them  at  once,  notwithstanding 
all  the  arguments  and  expostulation!  of  my  companions. 
I  read,  prayed,  fasted,  went  to  church,  and  seemed  more 
and  more  resolved,  till,  after  a  few  months,  several  young 
men  of  my  acquaintance  came  from  Manchester  on  the 
Lord's  day,  to  an  inn  just  opposite  to  our  house,  and  sent 
over  for  me.  My  father  pressing  me  to  go,  1  went,  only 
resolving  not  to  stay  long.  But  I  soon  forgot  this,  and 
all  my  good  resolutions.  When  I  came  home  at  night, 
I  was  in  an  agony.     I  did  not  dare  to  pray.     My  con- 


Mft.  JOHN  OLIVSB.'  lU 

science  stared  me  in  the  face,  and  the  terror  I  felt  was 
inconceivable. 

It  was  soon  spread  abroad  that  I  was  melancholy.  A 
neighbour,  who  was  a  hearer  of  the  Methodists,  sent  me 
word  there  was  to  be  preaching  that  night.  My  father 
declared,  "If  I  went,  he  would  knock  my  brains  out, 
though  he  should  be  hanged  for  it."  However,  I  stole 
away.  The  preacher  was  John  Appleton,  who  invite  I 
all  that  were  weary  and  heavy  laden,  to  come  to  Jesus. 
It  was  balm  to  my  soul.  I  drank  it  in  with  all  my  heart, 
and  began  to  seek  God  as  I  had  not  done  befc.re.  Till 
now,  I  thought  of  saving  myself.  My  cry  now  was,  •*Lord, 
save  or  I  perish."  Yet  I  knew  not  how  to  go  on,  till 
one  sent  me  word  there  was  a- person  at  her  house  who 
would  be  glad  to  see  me.  It  was  Miss  Simpson.  She 
told  me  the  manner  of  her  conversation  to  God.  She 
sung  an  hymn,  and  went  to  prayer.  I  was  all  in  a  flame 
to  know  these  things  for  myself.  As  soon  as  I  got  home 
1  went  to  prayer,  and  pleaded  the  merits  of  Clirist — 
Suddenly  I  thought  I  heard  a  clear  voice  saying,  "Son, 
thy  sins,  which  are  many,  are  forgiven."  1  cried  out, 
"Lord,  if  this  be  from  thy  spirit,  let  the  words  be  ap- 
plied with  power."  Instantly  1  heard  a  second  time, 
"Son,  thy  sins,  which  are  many,  are  forgiven  thee."  In 
that  instant  all  my  load  was  gone,  and  I  felt  such  a 
change  as  cannot  be  expressed.  [  liived  God:  I  loved  all 
mankind.  I  could  not  tell  whether  I  was  in  the  body 
or  out  of  it.  Prayer  was  turned  into  wonder,  love  and 
praise. 

In  this  happy  state,  I  remained  for  several  months, 
feeling  nothing  in  my  heart  but  love.  Yet  I  wanted 
some  agreeable  companions,  and  I  thought  over  all  the 
people  I  knew,  1  could  not  recollect  any  of  our  churcij 
that  were  such  as  1  wanted:  no,  nor  among  any  of  the 
Dissenters  or  Quakers.  The  last  people  1  thought  of 
were  the  Methodists:  I  found  my  soul  united  to  them. 
I  took  an  opportunity  of  asking  one  of  them,  Robert  An- 
derson, "what  were  the  terms  of  admission  among  themr" 
he  told  me,  ''These:"  putting  the  Rules  of  the  Society 
into  my  hands,  and  desiring  me  to  read  and  consider 
them.  Having  done  this,  I  told  him  there  was  one  rule 
which  1  was  afraid  1  could  not  keep:  "Meeting  every 
week:"  but  1  would  meet  as  often  as  l  could.  So  1  join- 
ed the  society  in  the  year  1748. 


lis  xxrKRiENCE  or 

I  was  now  tried  in  a  manner  1  had  not  been  before. — 
My  father  was  a  man  of  violent  temper,  and  as  much  as 
he  loved  me,  his  anger  quickly  overcame  his  natural  af- 
fection, fie  sent  to  all  the  Methodists,  threatening  what 
he  would  do  if  any  of  them  dared  to  receive  me  into 
their  fiouses.  Several  gentlemen  of  the  town  advised 
Iiim  to  proceed  to  more  severe  methods.  He  did  so.  fre- 
quently breakinji  sticks,  and  sometimes  chairs  upon  me. 
>Vhen  all  this  did  not  move  me,  he  tried  another  way, 
charging  me  with  disobedience,  and  telling  me  1  had 
broke  his  heart,  and  would  bring  down  his  grey  hairs 
with  sorrow  to  the  grave. 

Several  clergymen  then  called  upon  me,  and  strove 
10  shew  me  the  Methodists  were  in  the  wrong.  One  of 
them  was  Mr.  Dale,  lately  my  master,  who  called  me 
his  child,  prayed  for  me,  wept  over  me,  and  conjured 
me,  if  1  loved  my  own  »oul,  not  to  go  among  those  people 
any  more.  My  father  promised,  before  Mr.  Dale,  I 
should  go  to  church  prayers  every  day,  and  have  every 
indulgence  1  could  wish,  "provided  1  would  come  no 
more  near  those  d — ned  villians."  I  told  him  I  would 
do  every  thing  in  my  power,  as  a  child  to  a  parent,  to 
oblige  him  :  but  this  was  a  thing  that  affected  my  con- 
science, which  therefore  I  could  not  give  up. 

Our  society  was  now  much  united  together,  and  did 
indeed  love  as  brethren.  Some  of  them  had  just  began 
to  meet  in  band,  and  invited  me  to  meet  with  them. 
Here,  one  of  them  speaking  of  the  wickedness  of  his 
heart,  1  was  greatly  surprised  ;  telling  them,  I  felt  no 
such  things,  my  lieart  being  kept  in  peace  and  love  all 
the  day  long.  But  it  was  not  a  week  before  1  felt  the 
swelling  of  pride,  and  the  storms  of  anger  and  self-will : 
ao  when  I  met  again,  1  couid  speak,  the  same  language 
with  them.  We  sympathised  with  each  other,  prayed 
for  each  other,  and  believed  that  God  was  able  and  wil- 
ling to  purify  our  hearts  from  all  sin. 

Not  long  after,  having  given  way  to  temptation,  and 
grieved  the  Holy  Spirit  of  God,  all  his  comfoits  were 
withdrawn  in  a  moment :  my  soul  was  all  over  darkness  : 
I  could  no  longer  see  him  that  is  invisible  :  I  could  not 
feel  his  influence  on  my  heart:  I  sought  him,  but  could 
not  find  him.  I  endeavoured  to  pray,  but  the  heavens 
seemed  like  brass.     At  the  same  time,  such  a  weight 


MR.  JOHN  OLIVKIl.  1  l3 

came  upon  me,  as  if  1  was  instantly  to  be  pressed  to 
death.  I  sunk  into  black  despair,  conclading  that  God 
had  forgotten  to  be  gracious.  My  friends  strove  to  lift 
up  my  hands  ;  but  it  yielded  me  no  relief.  I  found  no 
gleam  of  light,  no  trace  of  hope,  no  token  of  any  kind 
for  good.  The  devil  improved  this  hour  of  dai  kness,  tel- 
ling me,  1  was  sure  to  be  damned  ;  for  1  was  forsaken  of 
God,  and  a  mere  dead  weight  upon  his  people,  Thus  I 
passed  over  several  days  and  nights.  Sleep  departed 
from  me :  and  I  scarce  eat  any  thing,  till  I  was  reduced 
to  a  mere  skeleton. 

One  day,  being  able  to  bear  no  longer,  1  rose  very  ear- 
ly in  the  morning,  and  went  to  Mr.  Cheetham's  at  Ads- 
wood.  The  family  were  all  very  tender  over  me,  and  as 
Mr.  Jaco  was  to  preach  in  the  evening,  desired  me  to 
stay.  They  told  him  my  case,  and  he  strongly  encour- 
aged me  to  hope  in  the  Lord. 

My  father  missing  me,  and  not  knowing  what  was  be- 
come of  me,  was  almost  distracted.  He  sent  persons 
round  about  in  every  road,  but  could  learn  nothing  till 
Mr.  Cheetham  sent  a  messenger  to  Srockport,  to  desire 
he  would  come  over.  He  came  ;  but  I  was  afraid  of  go- 
ing home,  till  he  promised  he  would  use  no  severity. 
As  soon  as  we  came  home,  he  sent  for  Dr.  H — t,  an  ut- 
ter stranger  to  all  religion.  In  proof  whereof,  he  imme- 
diately took  a  large  quantity  of  blood  from  me,  blistered 
me  on  the  head,  back,  and  feet,  and  loaded  me  with  me- 
dicines. For  near  t.vo  months  1  was  under  his  care  ;  all 
that  time  none  of  my  friends  were  suffered  to  see  me.  The 
clergymen,  Messrs.  Richmond,  Knowles,  and  Dale,  vis- 
ited me  in  their  turns,  and  used  every  argument  to  in- 
duce me  to  think  of  the  Methodists  no  more. 

In  the  mean  time  prayer  was  made  for  me  continually 
in  the  societies  ;  and  a  day  was  set  apart  for  Fasting  and 
Humiliation.  I  believe  it  was  in  conseqijeuce  of  this 
that  1  was  raised  up.  The  doctor  and  ministers  judged 
that  1  might  go  out.  My  design  was  first  to  visit  the 
church:  but  as  1  was  going,  an  old  acquaintance  came 
to  my  mind,  who  lived  three  miles  oft'.  I  had  a  strong 
desire  to  see  him,  and  turning  about  went  straight  to  his 
house.  He  caught  me  in  his  arms,  and  said,  "'my  dear 
child,  1  am  glad  to  see  you.  I  always  believed  God 
would  deliver  you.  But  where  will  you  go  now  ?"  I 
10  * 


114  EXPEPaENCE    OF 

saw  1  should  not  he  peimitted  to  serve  God  at  home- 
After  consulting  together,  we  a^^reed,  it  would  be  best 
for  me  to  spend  a  little  time  at  Manchester :  so  the  next 
day  1  went  thither.  As  1  was  going,  a  gentleman  met 
me,  who  told  my  father.  I  was  hearing  Mr.  Haughton 
in  the  evening,  when  my  mother  having  come  from 
Stockport  on  purpose,  would  not  come  in,  but  stood  at 
the  door,  and  sent  a  person  to  tell  me,  one  desired  to 
speak  with  me.  When  1  came,  she  said,  "Vour  father 
is  dying,  and  wants  to  see  you  before  he  dies."  Being 
exceedingly  struck,  1  went  with  liter.  She  took  me  to 
an  acquaintance,  Mr.  Hibbert's,  in  Deans-Gate.  It  be- 
ing late,  she  said,  she  must  stay  in  town  all  night,  and 
go  off  early  in  the  morning.  But  they  knew  not  what 
to  do  with  me  ;  being  afraid  the  Methodists  would  come 
and  take  me  away.  At  length  they  shut  me  up  in  a  rouin 
with  strong  doors,  and  a  person  to  guard  me  all  night. 
In  the  morning  1  was  guarded  home,  where  1  found  my 
father  as  well  as  usual. — He  did  every  thing  he  could  to 
extort  a  promise,  that  I  would  leave  the  Methodists. 
But  not  prevailing,  he  gave  the  matter  up,  and  from  that 
time  1  gained  my  freedom. 

The  week  following,  1  met  my  brethren  again. — And, 
0  the  thankfulness  that  was  expressed  on  every  side  !  1 
found  now  every  means  was  to  my  ^oul,  what  the  river 
Jordan  was  to  Naaman.  My  strength  came  again,  my 
light,  my  life,  my  God  ;  and  I  was  filled  with  ail  joy  and 
peace  in  believing.  Indeed  1  could  rot  see  at  first,  why 
God  had  permitted  me  to  pass  through  those  deep  waters. 
But  1  now  see  it  was,  that  1  might  sympathize  witl* 
other  afflicted  souls  from  heait-felt  experience. 

Soon  after,  it  was  strongly  impre^ftcd  on  my  mind, 
that  God  had  called  me  to  gome  moie  public  work.  I 
was  then  a  leader,  and  bad  occasidnaliy  exhorted,  but 
with  fear  and  trembling.  For  some  lime,  1  resi^ted  the 
"thought,  fearing  it  was  a  device  of  the  devil :  1  earnestly 
sought  the  Lord  by  fasting  and  prayer  :  1  poured  '>u;  my 
supplication  against  it.  But  the  more  1  strove  and  pray- 
ed, the  more  the  thought  was  pressed  upon  my  mind. 

Mr.  Benriet  was  then  in  connexifm  with  vou,  sir. 
We  wQje  intinyate,  and  loved  each  other  deajl}'.  1  told 
him  all  that  was  in  my  lieart.  He  asked,  "whatean  in- 
duce YOU  to  undertake  such  a  work  as  this  r"    I  answer- 


MR.    JdHN    OMVEK.  115 

ed,  "It  can  be  no  view  of  gain  ;  for  I  am  getting  money 
every  year,  aritl  want  nothing.  It  is  not  piltle  :  1  want 
no  priase  of  men  It  is  a  tender  regard  for  my  fellow- 
creatures.  I  have  had  much  forgiven,  and  1  now  love 
much.  And  if  I  could  be  an  insttument  of  saving  but 
one  soul,  it  would  make  amends  for  the  labour  of  ;;ll  my 
life  :  and  I  think  1  am  called  of  God  thereto."  He  said, 
"then  go  in  God'^  nan\e." 

On  December  £6,  in  the  year  1751,  Mr.  Bennet  wrote 
me  a  letter,  wherein  he  desired  me  to  meet  him  at  Man- 
chester, and  go  a  round  with  him.  1  met  him  there,  and 
we  rode  together  to  Bolton,  where  notice  had  been  given 
of'hjs  preaching.  When  the  hour  was  come,  he  abso- 
lutely refused  t:(  preach  :  but  after  Mr.  Mitchell  had  gi- 
ven an  exhortation,  got  up  on  one  of  the  forms,  and  said, 
*'  1  have  no  longer  any  connexion  with  Mr.  Wesley.  He 
denies  the  perseverance  of  the  saints,  and  asserts  sinless 
perfection.  Now,  1  desire,  that  all  of  you  who  are  of  my 
mind  will  follow  me."  They  did  so,  for  out  of  an  hun- 
dred and  twenty-seven,  only  nineteen  remained. 

He  went  on  till  he  ctme  to  Stockport,  where,  after 
preaching,  he  met  the  society,  and  lold  them  what  he  had 
done  at  Bolton,  and  added,  "now  you  must  either  take 
me  or  Mr.  Wesley."  They  all  joined  him  but  one,  Mol- 
ly Williamson.  He  promised  to  preach  to  them  every 
fortnight;  but  within  a  year  utterly  forsook  them,  and 
preached  at  Stockport  no  njore. 

A  few  days  after,  1  called  on  Molly  Williamson,  and 
found  her  exceedingly  afflicted;  Mr.  Bennet  having  ta- 
ken away  her  sister  and  her  father.  She  asked,  what 
can  we  do  ?  1  said,  "there  is  a  family  at  Adswood,  that 
has  lately  come  to  hear,  and  has  neither  joined  Mr.  Ben- 
net nor  Mr.  Wesley:  go  over  and  propose  a  weekly  .neet- 
ing  at  their  house."  They  willingly  accepted  of  the 
proposal.  We  exhorted  them  every  Lord's  day,  and 
met  as  a  class  every  Wednesday  evening.  The  Lurd 
owned  and  blessed  us:  We  had  love  and  peace;  only 
we  wanted  the  preachers  in  connexion  with  you.  V^  e 
prayed  for  them  :  soon  after  you  came  yourself  preaci.ed 
at  noon,  and  promised  to  send  us  preachers.  Yvu  did 
so  :  they  come  once  a  month,  and  we  thought  ourselves 
highly  favoured  'tf  the  Lord. 
I  still  wanted     e  preachers  to  come  to  Stockport:  and 


116  EXPERIENCE    OF 

Mr.  Allwood  being  in  the  circuit,  I  asked  him,  whether 
he  would  preach,  if  I  could  procure  a  place  ?  he  said  he 
would.  I  spoke  to  Robert  Anderson,  who  kept  the  old 
preaching  house,  and  he  consented  to  his  preaching 
there.  Soon  after  we  hired  a  house,  and  had  regular 
preaching  therein  :  and  God  then  revived  and  carried 
on  his  work  in  spite  of  all  opposition. 

In  the  year  1759,  James  Wild  came  into  Manchester 
circuit.  He  was  a  blessing  to  many,  and  to  me  in  par- 
ticular, being  exceeding  tender  over  me;  and  1  believe, 
it  was  in  consequence  of  what  he  spoke  concerning  me 
at  tlie  conference,  that  soon  after  it,  I  received  a  letter 
from  you  sir,  wherein  you  told  me  that  1  was  accepted 
on  trial,  as  a  travelling  preacher,  and  was  appointed  to 
labour  in  the  Sheffield  ciicuit.  The  news  seemed  to  me 
like  a  death  warrant.  I  knew  not  what  to  do.  I  thought 
"  My  abilities  are  by  no  means  sufficient  for  the  work; 
and  it'  I  attempt  it,  I  shall  only  expose  myself,  and  bring 
a  discredit  upon  the  Gospel."  But  on  the  other  hand, 
I  thought,  "  If  I  do  not  go  I  shall  grieve  Mr.  Wesley, 
and  fail  in  my  duty."  After  much  reasouing  I  came 
to  this  conclusion,  I  will  go  and  make  a  trial ;  if  the 
Lord  owns  me,  and  the  people  receive  me,  so  long  as 
this  is  the  case  I  will  stay  with  them.  If  they  do  not 
receive  me,  or  if  I  see  no  fruit  of  my  labour,  I  will  re- 
turn to  my  business. 

Having  prepared  all  things,  and  settled  my  business 
in  such  a  manner  that  1  could  return  to  it  with  credit,  I 
was  commended  by  the  brethren  to  the  grace  of  God, 
and  set  out  with  much  fear,  hardly  expecting  to  stay 
three  months  in  the  circuit. 

I  thought,  certainly  they  will  despise  my  youth  ;  but 
it  was  far  otherwise.  They  bore  with  all  my  weakness- 
es, and  I  was  kindly  received  and  tenderly  treated  on 
every  side.  I  was  particularly  indebted  to  two  faithful 
friends,  MiS.  G.  of  K'ttherham,  and  E.  B.  of  Woodseats. 
They  were  as  nursing  mothers  to  me  on  all  occasions. 
Whenever  my  mind  was  burdened,  I  impaited  to  them 
ail  my  trials^  and  they  lified  up  my  hands. 

Ttie  circuit  being  l^ng,  the  preachers  seldom  saw 
each  other  but  on  the  quarter  day.  But  the  people  lo- 
ved us,  and  we  loved  or.e  another;  so  that  1  gut  the 
year  through  much  better  than  1  expected.     And  1  did 


UK,    JOHN    OLIVEK.  IIT 

Bot  run  in  vain;  1  did  see  in  various  places  a  little 
fruit  of  of  my  labour.  But  I  was  not  satisfied  with  tliis: 
I  wanted  all  the  people  to  be  converted  to  God.  And 
fearing  I  took  up  the  place  of  some  more  useful  preach- 
er than  I  was,  or  ever  should  be,  at  the  close  of  the  year 
1  wrote  to  you,  sir,  desiring  I  might  go  home.  You  wrote 
to  me,  "  You  have  set  your  hand  to  the  gospel  plough, 
therefore  never  look  back.  I  would  have  you  come  up 
to  London  this  winter.  Here  is  every  thing  to  make 
the  man  of  God  perfect."  I  was  then  in  the  Haworth 
circuit  with  good  Mr.  Grirashaw,  who  shewed  me  great 
kindness.  He  did  not  let  me  go  without  much  reluc- 
tance. While  I  was  upon  the  road,  I  found  my  heart 
thoroughly  engaged  in  the  work  of  God,  and  determin- 
ed to  give  up  all:  yet  when  I  came  within  sight  of  Lon- 
don, my  spiiit*  began  to  sink,  having  been  always  of  a 
fearful  temper,  which,  indeed,  continues  to  this  day. 
And  when  1  came  into  the  great  city,  every  thing  ap- 
peared strange  to  me.  All  the  people  were  strangers 
to  me,  and  I  to  them:  but  we  soon  knew  one  another. 
The  longer  I  stayed,  the  better  I  liked  every  thing 
round  about  me.  I  found  your  words  true ;  "Here  is 
every  thing  to  make  the  man  of  God  perfect." 

Soon  after  I  received  a  letter  from  Thomas  Mitchell, 
at  Norwich,  earnestly  pressing  me  to  come  and  help 
him.  Having  consulted  with  my  brethren,  I  went:  but 
as  soon  as  I  came,  T,  Mitchell  went  away  ;  so  I  was 
left  alone  for  above  two  months,  having  care  enough  up- 
on my  hands,  more  than  ever  I  had  had  before,  beside, 
the  preaching  sixteen  or  seventeen  times  a  week.  Be- 
ing almost  worn  out,  I  wrote  to  you,  Sir,  desiring 
you  would  send  me  some  assistance.  In  the  mean  time 
my  situation  was  made  a  blessing  to  me,  causing  me  to 
give  myself  much  to  prayer. 

Just  at  this  time  a  good  proridence  sent  to  Norwich, 
that  saint  of  God,  Jane  Cooper.  I  have  great  reason 
to  praise  God  on  her  account.  She  was  a  general  bles- 
sing to  the  people.  By  her  conversation  and  prayer, 
many,  both  of  the  young  beginners  and  old  standers, 
were  stirred  up :  many  sound  remission  of  sins,  and 
many  were  renewed  in  love  ;  so  that  we  had  gracious 
showers  od  every  side.  She  advised  me  to  declare  the 
whole  counsel  of  God.  "Enforce."  said  she,  "a  present 


118  EXFERINCE  0» 

and  full  galvation.  Many  willhate  you  for  so  doing, 
but  God  will  love  you;  and  many  believe,  and  feel  the 
force  of  his  word.  Therefore  my  brother  be  strong,  be 
bold  !"  Her  name  is  precious  to  me  to  this  day. 

After  her  came  another  of  like  spirit,  Paul  Green- 
wood; at  the  sig;ht  of  whom  my  spirit  revived,  I  think 
as  much  as  Jacobus  did,  when  he  saw  Joseph's  waggons. 
We  laboured  together  in  much  love,  and  not  without 
success.  He  was  a  man  of  a  truly  excellent  temper, 
and  exemplary  behaviour.  He  was  constantly  serious, 
but  not  sad;  he  was  always  cheerful,  but  not  light. 
And  the  people  drank  into  the  same  spirit,  so  that  the 
year  passed  very  agreeably- 

In  the  year  1761,  my  scrupulous  disorder  appeared, 
and  grew  more  and  more  troublesome,  I  applied  to  an 
eminent  surgeon,  but  was  a  little  better.  In  spring  1762, 
I  went  to  Canterbury :  here  I  had  the  happiness  of  con- 
versing with  Mr.  Charles  Perronet,  a  man  of  much  pain 
and  sorrow,  but  dead  to  all  things  here  below,  and  deep- 
ly devoted  to  God.  By  him  I  profiled  much.  He  want- 
ed to  be  all  spirit :  so  did  I.  And  we  met  once  a  week 
with  a  few  friends  who  were  like  minded.  I  bless  God 
that  I  ever  saw  them. 

This  summer  there  wasa  great  pouring  out  of  the  spir- 
it in  London,  and  many  were  athirst  for  the  whole  chris- 
tian salvation  :  so  was  I.  1  loved  the  very  name  of  it. 
1  loved  to  hear  it  spoken  of.  I  loved  all  the  people  that 
were  in  pursuit  of  it,  and  was  never  &o  happy  as  in  their 
company  and  conversation.  This  was  before  those  ex- 
travagancies crept  in.  My  soul  was  sweetly  united  to 
them.  1  caught  their  spirit,  and  felt  such  zeal  for  preach- 
ing a  present  and  full  salvation,  that  wherever  1  was,  I 
preached  it  to  all  believers  in  the  best  manner  I  could. 
This  soon  had  its  use,  both  upon  the  people,  and  upon 
my  own  soul.  1  was  convinced  more  deeply  than  ever 
of  inbred  sin,  and  of  the  promise  of  God  to  save  me  from 
it.  And  never  did  man  at  a  bar  plead  harder  for  life, 
than  I  pleaded  with  God  for  this  salvation. 

Mr.  Perk,  of  Lincolns  Inn,  then  a  sober  rational  chris- 
tian, desi.  ed  me  one  day  to  call  and  dine  with  him.  1 
there  unexpectedly  met  with  Messrs.  Colley,  Jay, 
Coughlan,  Bell,  Owen,  and  some  others.  When  din- 
ner was  over,  one  said,  "Our  Lord  has  promised,  what- 


UK.  JOHN  OLIVEft.  119 

soever  two  or  three  of  you  si  a' !  agree  to  ask  in  my  name, 
1  willdr.it  We  agree  now."  An  hymn  was  sung.  It 
leenied  as  if  the  glory  of  the  Lord  filled  the  place.  We 
went  to  prayer.  A  general  c^-y  arose,  but  without  anj 
confusion.  The  Lord  was  moved  by  our  instant  pray- 
er, and  we  had  the  petition  we  asked  of  him.  I  was 
baptised  as  with  the  Holy  Ghost  and  with  fire,  and  felt 
that  perfect  love  casteth  out  fear.  Great  was  our  fellow- 
ship with  the  Father,  the  Son,  and  th;  Holy  Spirit. 
After  an  hour  spent  in  supplication  and  thanksgiving, 
we  sung  from  the  ground  of  our  hearts, 

"Hang  our  new-bom  souls  on  thee, 
Kept  from  all  idolatry ; 
Nothing'  want,  beneath,  above  ! 
Happy,  happy  in  tliy  love." 

If  ever  1  ha^J  access  to  the  throne  of  grace,  it  was  on 
this  memorable  day.  Our  Lord  was  inexpressibly 
near :  it  seemed  we  might  ask  and  have  whutever  we 
wanted.  And  we  were  exceedingly  drawn  out  in 
prayer  for  you,  your  sons  in  the  gospel,  and  the  people 
under  your  care,  feeling  the  communion  of  saint,  both 
on  earth  below,  and  in  heaven  above.  But  in  all  this 
there  was  nothing  wild  ;  but  all  calmness,  meekness, 
love  and  peace. 

From  this  time  I  went  forth  in  the  power  and  spirit 
of  love;  I  felt  nothing  but  love,  and  desired  nothing  but 
more  love.  And  so  I  continued  without  any  intermis- 
sion  all  the  time  1  remained  in  London. 

I  could  now  understand  that  objection  commonly  made 
against  those  who  long  to  be  all  devoted  to  God,  '*That 
they  do  not  love  to  converse  with  other  people,  with 
many  but  those  of  their  own  sort."  How  little  spiri- 
tual conversation  is  to  found  among  tither  people! — 
Among  any  that  are  not  going  on  to  perfection!  Gene- 
rally the  tenor  of  their  conver^atu^n  is  dry,  lifeless,  and 
useless.  But  those  who  are  earnestly  going  on,  hardly 
care  to  talk  of  any  thing  else.  And  whatever  conver- 
sation has  no  favour  of  this,  is  dull  and  insipid  to  them. 

From  that  day  to  this  1  have  not  lost  my  sight  of,  nor 
my  affection  for,  Christian  Pei  faction.  But  I  have  been 
pressed  down  by  the  exercises  K>i  every  kind  which  1 
have  passe4  through  since  that  time.    I  fear  some  of 


150  EXPERIENCE  6f 

them  were  purposely  laid  in  my  way  by  those  who  were 
BO  friends  to  this  doctrine,  and  who  were  not  greatly 
pleased  with  me  for  enforcing  it  in  every  place.  But  1 
willingly  leave  this  and  all  my  affairs  to  the  disposal  of 
a  wife  and  gracious  Providence. 

The  next  year  I  was  at  Bristol  with  Mr.  Oddie,  and 
was  happy  both  with  him  and  with  the  people.  My  heart 
was  given  up;  1  was  all  athirst  for  God,  and  wanted 
every  thought  to  be  holiness  to  the  Lord.  Jesus  was 
the  first  beauty  to  my  soul.  He  reigned  alone  in  mj 
heart.  I  was  entirely  and  constantly  happy  in  God. 
He  was  my  ait  in  all. 

In  17G4.  1  was  again  statiojied  in  London.  My  dis- 
order now  increasing  much,  1  was  advised  to  apply 
without  loss  of  time  to  Mr.  Morley,  a  gentleman  of 
Halstead,  in  Essex.  I  went  down  without  delay.  He 
behaved  like  a  gentleman  and  a  Christian.  He  first 
prayed  that  God  would  bless  his  endeavours;  and  after 
enquiring  minutely  into  my  case,  told  me  my  whole 
mass  of  blood  was  corrupted.  He  therefore  advised  me 
to  an  entire  milk  diet;  to  take  a  quart  of  milk  every 
day,  with  some  white  bread,  and  two  table  spoons  full 
of  clarified  honey.  In  six  months  my  whole  habit  of 
body  was  changed,  nor  have  I  had  any  thing  of  my  dis- 
order since. 

The  next  year  1  spent  with  Mr.  Oddie  in  the  Man- 
chester circuit.  We  bad  some  severe  trials;  but  going 
on  hand  in  hand,  we  were  more  than  conquerors.— 
"Where  preachers  are  united,  nothing  can  hurt  them; 
where  they  are  not,  nothing  can  help  them. 

The  year  following,  I  was  appointed  for  Newcastle- 
upon-Tyne,  where  1  tound  a  most  agreeable  family.— 
And  1  never  met  with  a  people  who  valued  the  preach- 
ers like  those  in  this  circuit.  Their  spirit  and  their 
conduct,  throughout  the  whole,  was  "courteous,  pitiful, 
and  kind." 

Afterwards  1  spent  two  years  in  Leeds  Circuit,  two 
in  Bradforth,  and  two  in  Bir-.tal  cii  cuit  Always  when  1 
go  into  a  new  round,  1  go  with  great  heaviues  ;  but  af- 
ter a  vvliite.  i  so  cleave  to  the  people  that  I  know  not 
how  to  leave  them. 

In  ihe  >ear  1773,  I  was  removed  to  Chester  citcuit, 
where  I  continued  two  years.  In  the  second  year  I  was 


MR.    JOHN    OLIVER.  131 

invited  to  Wrexham.  The  house  being  too  small  for  the 
congregation,  I  was  desired  to  preach  abroad,  which  I 
accordingly  did,  to  about  a  thousand  serious  hearers. 
"While  I  was  speaking,  a  constable  came  with  orders  from 
a  neighbouring  justice  to  apprehend  me.  I  desired  him 
to  stay  till  I  had  done  my  discourse,  and  I  would  go  with 
him.  He  agreed  so  to  do;  but  the  Justice  impatient  of 
delay,  came  himself,  and  seized  me  by  the  collar,  I 
said,  ''  Sir,  here  is  no  riot;  all  is  peaceable;  and  1  am  a 
licenced  preacher."  Notwithstanding,  he  dragged  me  on, 
till  he  saw  the  constable,  and  then  charged  him  to  carry 
me  to  Bridewell.  As  we  were  walking,  I  told  the  con- 
stable, *•  I  wdl  not  go,  unless  you  have  a  written  order." 
He  went  to  the  justice,  and  returned  with  the  following 
order,  which  I  have  by  me. 

*'  This  is  to  order  the  constables  of  Wrexham,  and 
Thomas  Price  in  particular;  safely  to  convey  the  body 
of Oliver,  a  vagrant  preacher,  who  hath  unlaw- 
fully assembled  a  concourse  of  people  in  the  School-yard 
against  the  peace  of  our  sovereign  lord,  the  king,  to  the 
house  of  correction,  in  the  town  of  VVrexham  And  like- 
wise, to  order  the  keeper  of  the  saitl  house,  to  receive 

and  safely  keep  the  body  of  him.  the  said Oliver, 

for  fuither  examination,  and  that  he  n>ay  be  dealt  with 
according  to  law. 

*'Given  under  my  hand  and  seal;  this  tenth  day  of 
June,  1774. 

THO.  BOYCOTT." 

As  I  was  walking  with  the  constable  towards  Bridge' 
■well,  there  was  such  a  concourse  of  people,  that  it  wa8 
with  difficulty  we  got  through  them.  The  house  was 
soon  filled  with  people  of  all  ranks,  who  expressed  all 
ifK»ssible  kindness.  One  gentleman  said,  "'Sir,  I  will  be 
bound  with  you  for  500/.  Another  said,  "You  shall 
preach  at  my  door,  and  let  them  disturb  you  that  d^re." 
I  had  now  ui  oportunity  of  explaining  to  them  the  reli- 
gion which  we  wish  to  propagate  in  every  place.  I  theo 
went  to  prayer,  wherein  1  wat  greatly  refreshed,  and  most 
of  theieople  were  deeply  affected.  Maiy  vvO'ild  fain 
have  stayed  with  aie  ail  night,  but  1  wouM  not  suffer  it. 
11 


122  EXPERIENCE    OF 

At  ninein  the  morning  I  was  ordered  to  appear  before 
the  Justice,  with  whom  I  found  the  high  sherif  and  an 
attorney.  Ho  asked  for  my  licence,  which  I  gave  him; 
he  lead  it  and  said,  it  was  good  fur  nothing.  1  said,  "Sir, 
it  was  never  questioned  before,  and  the  questioning  the 
validity  ot  it  now,  is  a  reflection  upon  the  whole  bench 
of  justiocB,  who  gave  it  me  in  open  court."  The  attor- 
ney then  beginning  to  interrogate  me,  I  said,  ""Sir,  I  am 
under  no  obligation  to  answer  impertinent  questions." 
He  got  up,  went  out,  and  I  saw  him  no  m(»re.  The  jus- 
tice then  told  me,  unless  I  would  promise  to  preach  there 
n"  more,  he  would  order  me  to  be  whipl  out  ot  the  town, 
I  answered,  "Sir,  I  will  make  nosuch  promi-*e.  lam  an 
Eniilishman.  1  ha\e  violated  none  of  the  laws  of  my 
country,  and  thereforee  am  liable  to  no  punishment." 
After  usinga  few  more  contemptuous  word<,  he  told  me, I 
might  go  about  m^  business.  So  I  took  m)-  leave  of  Mr. 
Boycott,  rejoicing  that  I  was  counted  worthy  to  suffer 
shame  for  my  Master's  sake. 

The  next  year,  I  laboured  in  Sheffield  circuit,  where 
was  a  great  out-pouring  of  the  Spirit  of  God.  And 
throughout  the  year,ttiere  appeared  tobeageneral  moving 
among  the  people. 

In  the  succeeding  years,  I  was  in  Manchester,  Liver- 
pool, Macclestield,  and  Birstal  circuits.  And  I  bless 
God,  I  never  was  in  any  circuit  yet,  where  I  had  not 
some  seals  of  my  mission. 

God  has  wrought  wonderfully  of  late  in  Birstal  circuit. 
He  is  blessing  us  on  every  side.  Some  hundreds  have 
withiji  this  yeav  been  added  to  the  societies'.  On  the 
natioTial  fast  dav,  the  little  society  at  Thong  appointed 
a  prayer  meeting  in  the  evening.  The  Sf>iiit  of  jirace 
and  supplication  was  to  poured  upon  them,  that  they  con- 
tinued till  the  morning.  Several  were  in  tke  greatest 
ae'>ny,  lying  upon  thf  groun<l,in  cold  -weats,  one  crying 
out  '-Lord,  help  n.e;"  another,  "Save,  or  1  perish.*'  Be- 
fore they  parted, eight  were  justified,  and  seveial  renew- 
ed in  love. 

1  would  beg  leave  to  observe,  upon  the  wh<le,  that  hav- 
ing  been  near  thirty  years  in  the  service  of  a  good  Mas- 
ter, I  have  great  reason  to  be  humbled  for  having  done  so 
jittle  for  G'.d,  for  my  neiglibour,  and  for  myself.  |C?*I 
;;night  have  exerted  myself  more  in  the  cause  of  God,  and 


Mil.    ALEXANDER    MATHEK.  i23 

have  made  greater  improvement,  both  as  a  preacher  and 
as  a  Christian.    {C7"God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinaer. 
I  am,  Rev.  Sir,  you  i  affectionate, 

Son  in  the  Gospel, 

JOHN  OLIVER. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


^-^^  aiA^32^m^ 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

Reverend  Sir, 

I  WAS  born  at  Brechin,  in  North  Britain,  in  Febru- 
ary, 1733,  of  reputable  parents,  who  made  it  their  busi- 
ness to  bring  me  up  in  the  fear  of  God.  They  instruct- 
ed me  early,  in  the  principle*  of  religion,  and  took  parti- 
cular cat e  to  keep  me  from  evil  company;  so  that  when 
I  grew  up,  I  was  an  utter  stranger  to  the  vices  common 
among  men.  And  I  took  pleasure  in  reading  good  books, 
and  learning  our  catechims  by  heart.  When  I  was  at  the 
Latin  school,  it  was  the  custom  of  our  master,  every 
Lord's  day,  after  the  evening  service,  to  hear  what  we 
could  remember  of  the  sermons,  and  to  pray  with  us. 
Under  one  of  his  prayers,  (when  1  was  about  ten  years 
old,)  I  was  struck  with  strong  convictions.  And  these 
never  quite  left  me,  but  1  always  retained  a  desire  to  be 
a  Christian. 

Soon  after  this,  out  of  a  childish  frolick,  I  went  away 
with  a  party  of  the  rebels;  but  I  knew  n<>t  what  1  diil.  I 
hereby  exposed  myself  to  many  hardships  and  dangers. 
But  the  Lord  delivered  me  out  of  all  Many  mighty  ones 
fell  on  Cullodon  Heath,  and  in  the  way  to  Inverness,  and 
indeed  on  every  side;  yet  I  was  mercilully  preserved. 
But  when  I  came  near  my  father's  house,  there  was  no 
entrance  for  me.  And  I  knew  not  where  to  go,  till  my 
mother  resolved  to  take  me  to  a  relation  of  hers  neai' 
Perth. 


124  KXPERIENCE    OK 

We  had  a  large  river  to  cross,  which  was  much  swelled 
by  the  late  rains.  We  were  just  got  into  the  boat,  when 
a  Gentleman  on  horseback  came  and  begged  us  to  stay 
and  take  him  in,  which  we  accordingly  did.  He  seemed 
much  fatigued.  My  mother  desired  me  to  hold  his  horse 
which  I  did,  twisting  the  bridle  round  my  hand.  When 
ive  were  about  the  middle  of  the  river,  the  horse  took  a 
fright,  and  leaped  out  of  the  boat,  taking  me,  and  the 
oars,  and  both  the  boatmen  with  him:  so  that  none  were 
left  in  the  boat  but  my  mother  and  the  gentleman,  with- 
out any  means  of  helping  themselvep.  The  horse  swam 
to  the  opposite  shore,  dragging  me  with  him:  then  turned 
back,  and  swam  to  the  shore  we  had  left.  He  then  jump- 
ed out,  pulling  me  just  above  the  water;  but  I  there  lost 
jny  hold,  and  fell  back  into  the  river.  It  carried  me  down 
rolling  me  over  and  over,  till  it  brought  me  to  the  side  of 
the  boat,  which  was  strangly  got  to  the  same  shore.  They 
catched  hold  of  me  and  pulled  me  in. 

Here  I  cannot  but  remark  several  providential  inci- 
dents: 1  That  both  the  boatmen  should  get  safe  to  that 
side  of  the  water.  2  That  when  they  were  there,  they 
should  be  able  to  get  the  boat,  with  my  mother  and  the 
gentleman  safe  in  it.  3  That  the  horse  did  not  leave  me 
on  the  opposite  side,  where  to  all  appearance,  I  must 
have  perished.  4  That  notwithstanding  the  impetuosity 
of  the  stream,  the  horse  should  reach  the  land  above  the 
boat.  Had  it  been  below,  I  had  probably  been  lost.  I 
admire  above  all,  the  exact  timing  of  every  circumstance! 
Had  I  been  brought  to  the  same  side  first,  I  could  have 
had  no  help;  had  the  boatmen  reached  the  opposite  side 
Ihey  in  the  boat  could  have  had  none.  And  had  any  o 
us  been  carried  but  a  little  lower,  we  must  inevitably 
have  been  swallowed  up  in  a  whirlpool. 

After  having  thrown  up  much  water,  I  was  so  far  re- 
covered as  to  be  able  to  take  boat  again.  And  having 
o-ot  safe  over,  we  travelled  twelve  Scotch  miles,  (eigh- 
teen English)  before  night.  But  we  could  not  travel 
without  much  danger,  as  the  country  was  tull  of  parties, 
both  horse  and  foot,  who  abused  all  the  strangers  they 
met  with,  and  often  took  them  prisoners.  When  we 
came  near  a  town,  we  enquired  of  one  we  met,  where 
we  could  have  a  quiet  lodging;  she  said,  she  could  re- 
commend us  to  no  inn,  for  they  would  inform  the  sol- 


MR.    ALSXANDER    MATHER.  1£5 

(Jierg  of  us,  who  were  very  rude  to  all  strangers,  espe- 
cially to  women:  but  if  we  would  put  up  with  the  house 
of  a'pour  man,  she  knew  one  that  she  thought  would  ra- 
ce Y."  us."  So  she  conducted  us  to  a  little  cottage,  where 
we  found  the  man  engaged  in  family  worship.  When  it 
was  ended,  he  looked  upon  my  mother,  and  said,  "Good 
wife,  I  have  no  place  fit  to  entertain  you,  who  appear  to 
have  a  good  home  somewhere.  Neither  can  I  protect 
you,  if  the  soldiers  hear  you  are  ia  my  house.  But  if 
you  please  to  sit. by  the  fire,  with  a  little  straw  for  the 
lad  to  lie  on,  you  are  welct>me."  They  then  gave  us 
something  to  eat  and  drink,  which  we  received  with 
thankfulness  to  God.  The  good  woman  then  laid  me 
down  on  the  straw,  and  sat  by  my  mother  till  the  morn- 
ing; when,  having  been  commended  to  God  in  prayer  by 
our  host,  we  went  on  our  j  urney. 

My  mother's  brother  was  a  considerable  farmer,  m 
the  Carse  of  Gowry,  near  Perth.  Thither  we  got  before 
sunset,  and  were  kindly  received,  till  ray  mother  told 
him  her  design  of  leaving  me  there.  But  his  wife  op- 
posed it  much,  fearing  lest,  if  it  was  discovered,  they 
should  be  ruined  for  harbouring  me.  However,  my  un- 
cle, seeing  the  distress  my  mother  was  in,  over-ruled 
her,  and  said,  1  should  stay.  And  the  next  morning,  he 
sent  a  servant  with  my  mother,  who  saw  her  safe  home. 

I  stayed  the  Sabbath  at  my  uncle's;  but  on  Monday 
morning,  before  sunrise,  he  called  me,  (his  wife  having 
prevailed,)  and  told  me,  "You  must  go  hence."  So  I  set 
off  with  one  to  guide  me  across  the  mountains.  He  then 
left  me  to  find  mj  way  as  I  could,  to  a  place,  and  a  per- 
son I  had  never  heard'^of  before,  but  I  had  a  line  to  the 
man;  providence  brought  me  to  the  place,  but  the  man 
was  not  at  home.  However,  he  came  the  next  day,  and 
received  me  kindly.  Here  I  stayed  till  about  midsun  ■ 
mer,  and  then  removed  to  a  distant  relation's,  where  I 
stayed  till  November.  It  was  then  judged  1  might  go 
home  safely:  but  whan  I  came,  my  father  would  not  let 
me  come  into  his  house.  Nay,  he  went  and  made  inf  tr- 
mationagainst  metothecommandingufficer:  and  1  shot.ld 
have  been  sent  to  prison,  had  not  a  gentleman  of  the  towa 
ijiterfered  tor  me;  and  procured  leave  fur  me  to  lodge  at 
my  fathei  's  house.  In  the  morning  a  file  of  Musqueteere 
came,  to  take  me  into  custody,  and  brought  me  to  the 
11  * 


1^6  JtXrEKIKNOB    OF 

officer. —  Aitr  askin";  me  many  questionsJ,  he  tuld  lue^ 
'•You  may  go  home."  But  wheu  I  came  to  the  iloor,  the 
sbMiers,  not  knowing  his  order,  were  a  goirig  to  carry 
!ue  to  prison:  till  he  looked  out  of  the  window,  and  bade 
them  let  me  go.  However,  my  father  would  not  put  me 
to  school  any  more,  but  kept  me  to  his  business,  that  of 
baking. 

1  continued  with  my  father  till  the  beginning  of  May, 
\T5\:  when,  being  well  acquainted  with  my  bu'^iness,  I 
determined  to  go  abroad.  I  set  out  with  another  young 
man,  who  was  engaged  in  Perth. — Here  a  place  was  pro- 
vided for  me  in  a  pious  family,  where  I  remained  till  af- 
ter Christmas,  Two  persons  then  came  from  London; 
with  one  of  whom  I  contracted  an  intimate  acquaintance. 
One  Lord's  dav,  she  asked  me  to  go  to  the  K|)iscopal 
meeting.  It  affected  me  much,  and  from  that  time  I  at- 
tended it  whenever  I  could.  And  I  cannot  but  sav,  it 
was  of  great  use  to  my  soul,  and  has  proved  so  ever 
since. 

About  this  time  I  formed  a  purpose  of  going  to  Lon- 
don, and  having  took  leave  of  my  relations,  we  set  sail 
IVom  Montrose,  about  the  middle  of  June,  \752.  When 
i  came  so  London,  I  knew  no  one  there:  but  the  kind 
band  of  God  was  over  me.  1  found  a  brother  of  my  fa- 
ther's, who  being  of  the  same  trade,  took  me  to  work  with 
him,  till  he  procured  me  a  place,  in  a  serious  family  at 
Billingsgate.  But  as  I  was  a  foreigner,  my  master  was 
summoned  to  Guildhall,  and  obliged  to  put  me  away. 
Im  a  little  time  I  got  me  another  place,  near  Whitechapel- 
Bars.  And  as  I  was  strong  and  active,  my  nsaster  per- 
suaded me  to  engage  for  a  year  certain.  Afterwards  he 
did  not  use  me  well:  till  one  day  being  in  a  passion,  he 
ordered  me  instanily  to  quit  his  houscj  which  1  immedi- 
ately did.  . 

in  the  year  1753,  my  present  wife  who  was  born  near 
i»ere  1  was,  and  had  lived  several  years  with  my  parents 
in  ray  infancy,  heard  1  was  in  London,  and  resolved  to 
see  rae.  We  had  not  seen  one  another  for  many  years, 
and  were  both  glad  of  the  meeting:  and  as  I  was  then  out 
•f  p  ace,  we  had  opportunity  of  seeing  each  other  frequent- 
ly. On  Feb.  14,  we  were  married.  1  had  then  forgot 
iSie  >  esolutionn  1  had  often  made  of  living  wholy  to  God, 
iffheaever  1  sheuld  tnarry:  but  he  aeon  brought  thent  back^ 


UK.   ALEXANBGR    MATHBR.  I'iT 

to  Diy  remembrance,  by  laying  affliction  on  my  wife,  i 
now  bej^an  to  be  in  good  earne^^t  tor  salvation:  I  bought 
up  all  opportunities  for  prayer.  1  resolved  to  break 
through  all  opposition,  anil  serve  God  with  all  my  heait. 

But  still  it  lay  heavy  upon  my  mind,  that  I  had  not  per- 
formed my  vow  of  praying  with  my  wife.  And  my  con« 
victions  increased  day  bv  day,  till  my  appetite  wa^  gotie, 
aud  my  sleep  departed  from  me:  my  bones  were  filled  as 
with  a  ijore  disease,  and  my  tears  were  my  meat  day  and 
night.  1  now  broke  through  and  pra>ed  with  my  wife, 
and  we  never  after  left  the  practice.  It  was  nit  long  af- 
te»  this,  that  she  new  God  to  be  a  pardoning  God.  And 
all  that  summer  we  continued  praying  and  striving  t»- 
gether,  and  steadily  walking  in  all  the  ordinances  of 
GoJ. 

After  livins:  at  Hamstead  "ome  time,  I  removed  to  a 
place  at  St.  Catherine's  While  1  was  here,  I  was  one 
day  going  hastily  along  the  ■street,  and  a  loaded  cart  stood 
in  it  which  nearly  filled  it  up.  However  1  went  on, 
thinking  I  could  get  by:  but  just  as  I  was  a  goini;bv,it 
moved,  caught  my  basket,  crushed  me  up  against  the 
wall,  and  dragged  me  along  till  we  came  again**!  a  shop 
window  which  gave  way  and  released  me.  Every  one 
that  saw  it  supposed  thatl  shouW  be  crushed  to  death;  or 
at  least  my  arms  or  legs  would  be  broken.  But  i  receiv- 
ed no  hut  t  at  all^besides  a  little  brui;ie  on  the  back  of 
my  hand. 

In  September,  1753,  1  was  hired  to  Mr.  Merriot.  Our 
,  meeting  vvas  not  expected  on  either  side:  he  had  been  en- 
*'-■  enquiring  the  character  of  another,  which  he  did  not  ap- 
prove of:  and  1  was  enquiring  for  a  master  when  he  canie 
and  asked  me  if  I  was  out  ;»f  p  jic'^  I  ••inswered,  Y'^s.  He 
asked  if  I  would  keep  good  ''ujrr  Which  1  promised  to, 
do.  So  we  agreed,  and  1  enterti  upon  h^s  ?er\ic 
Here  1  found  what  1  had  long  desiifd,  a  family  whereiu 
was  the  worship  of  God.  This  stirred  me  up  ti-  be  more 
•arnest  in  seeking  him:  to  be  exact  in  praying  by  myself 
•very  morning,  and  with  my  wife  eveiy  afternoon.  And 
we  continued  seeking  him  with  our  whole  heait,  and 
shu.ining  wnatever  wc  thought  offensive  to  him.  We 
used  likewise,  every  means  of  grace.  1  have  sometimes 
gone  on  my  kuees  when  \  wa.*  going  to  bed,  and  have  ci>n- 
tinued  in  that  position^  till  two  o'clock,  wheal  was  call- 
\     e^  lo  go  to  work. 


iaS  IXPERIEVOB   OP 

My  wife  had  sometin.e  ^ince,  found  a  deer^e  of  peaeet. 
wifV  Gxl.  But  I  c  'ul(l  find  no  peace,  nor  c<»ijld  I  f'^Il 
wh 't  hunl"e»t,  unless  it  were  ihe  b.tkinji  of  pans,  as  they 
called  i«,  O"  the  sabbath. — f  wo  1<I  feladh  ha\p  refrained 
fiom  thi-  but  then  I  mtist  have  left  'ny  place,  and  \  had 
noho|^eot  finilingatiother  place  wnich  would  not  have  been 
liable  <o  the  vame  incon\eriicnce.  H-wever,  I  rej-ohed, 
as  soon  as  Christmas  was  over,  to  give  up  my  plare  at  all 
events.  Mean\\hile  my  fie^h  c<>nsumed  away,  like  a 
moth  fretfing  aga<ment.  And  my  bones  were  ready  to 
s'art  through  my  skin:  for  I  had  no  rest  day  or  night. 
The  following  sabbath  my  wife  and  I  venttired  for  the 
first  time  to  the  H"ly  Communion;  and  I  found  some 
comfort;  but  the  sense  of  my  profaning  the  sabhath,  soon 
took  it  away.  [  now  resolved  to  delay  no  longer  than 
the  next  day.  being  willing  to  suffer  lather  than  to  sin. 
Accordingly,  on  Monday  morning,  as  soon  as  my  mas- 
ter came  down  stairs,  T  gave  him  warning:  he  did  not  then 
speak  one  word:  but  soon  after  he  came  into  the  shop, 
and  asked  me,  "If  I  had  got  another  place?''  I  answered, 
no.  He  said,  "Why  then  would  you  leave  this?"  I  an- 
swered, "Because  I  dare  not  commit  sin  by  breaking  the 
sabbath,  as  I  have  done."  He  used  many  arguments  with 
me,  but  in  vain.  I  told  him,  "I  must  abide  by  the  word 
of  God,  wiiatever  be  the  consequence:  but  I  will  not  go 
away  till  you  suit  yourself  with  another  man." 

God  now  gave  me  much  confidence,  and  I  found  much 
power  to  pray,  that  if  it  is  not  his  will  we  should  part,  he 
would  incline  my  master  to  give  it  up.  And  the  same 
day  he  went  with  a  neighbouring-baker,  to  all  of  the  trade 
in  Shoreditch  and  Bishop's-gate  without:  proposing  that 
they  should  all  enter  into  an  agreement  to  give  it  up  at 
once.  All  but  two  agreed.  He  then  advertised  for  a 
meeting  of  master-bakers  upon  the  subject:  but  nothing 
could  be  concluded.  Afterwards  I  supposed  he  asked 
the  advise  of  our  brethren  at  the  Foundry.  After  he 
had  taken  all  these  steps,  more  than  I  coulcl  reasonably 
expect,  he  told  me,  ''I  have  done  all  I  gan,  and  now  I 
hope  you  will  be  content.'*  I  sincerely  thanked  him  for 
what  he  had  dime,  but  told  him,  I  could  not  stay  any 
longer  than  till  he  had  suited  himself.  But  I  continued 
in  prayer.  And  on  sdbbath  evening,  after  family  wor- 
ship, he  stopped  ^me  and  said,  "1  have  done  to-day 


MB.    ALEXANDER    MATHER.  l£9 

what  will  please  you:  I  have  stayed  athome,  and  told  all 
my  customers,  I  will  bake  no  more  on  a  sabbath."  I  told 
him.  |C?*<tif  you  have  done  this  out  of  concience  toward 
God,  be  assured  it  will  end  well."  And  so  it  did.  That 
very  year,  his  trade  considerably  increased.  And  he 
had  a  large  augmentation  of  his  fortune,  so  that  he  was 
enabled  to  relieve  many  that  were  in  want,  and  also  to 
lay  up  abundance  for  his  children.  May  they  herein 
tread  in  their  father's  steps! 

He  then  asked  me,  how  I  came  to  scruple  baking  on 
Sundays?  And  I  told  him  simply,  how  God  had  delt  with 
my  soul.  And  I  believe  it  was  then  he  first  felt  that  af^ 
fection  for  me,  which  continued  to  his  dying  day.  (From 
that  time,  both  he  and  my  good  mistress  were  particular- 
ly kind  to  me  ^d  mine.  And  when,  some  years  after, 
my  station  in  London  placed  me  in  some  sense  over 
them,  there  were  none  in  th«  society  that  more  fully  sub- 
mitted to  every  branch  of  disipline.)  It  was  then  he 
asked  me  to  go  with  him  to  the  Foundry,  which  I  did  at 
five  the  next  morning.  When  I  came  back,  I  told  my 
wite  where  I  had  been.  It  grieved  her  much,  as  she  be- 
lieved all  the  idle  reports  she  had  heard:  many  of  which 
she  rehearsed,  and  added,  <'Now  our  peace  is  broken  for- 
ever." This  stirred  me  up  to  be  more  earnest  in  prayer, 
but  did  not  prevent  my  going  every  morning.  On  Sun- 
day she  was  persuaded  to  go  with  me,  though  much  afraid 
of  my  being  drawn  into  some  wrong  way.  John  Nelson 
preached  an  alarming  discourse,  which  1  hoped  would  af- 
fect her  much.  But,  on  the  contrary,  she  was  much  dis- 
gusted, saying,  •'He  has  shewn  me  the  way  to  hell;  and 
not  the  way  to  get  out  of  it.  But  I  thank  God,  he  has 
shewn  me  that  Jesus  Christ  is  the  way,  and  has  brought 
me  out  of  it  too."  However  she  went  again  the  next  Sab- 
bath. Mr.  Charles  Wesley  then  preached,  and  described 
the  whole  process  of  the  work  of  God  in  the  soul.  She 
followed  him  step  by  step,  till  he  came  to  the  abiding  wit- 
ness of  adoption,  and  here  he  left  her  behind.  She  was 
now  both  pleapsed  and  profited,  and  we  now  went  on 
hand  in  hand,  in  the  ways  of  God.  But  still  I  did  not 
find  the  spirit  of  adoption,  though  I  sought  it  diligently, 
continuing  instant  in  prayer,  and  attending  the  word 
every  morning  and  evening.  Indeed  this  was  not  with- 
out difficulty:  for  I  had  no  time  for  either,  but  what  I 


130  EXPEUIEKCE    OF 

took  from  my  sleep,  which  should  have  been  from  six  to 
ten  in  the  eveuinj^,  and  from  half  past  four  to  six  the  in 
morning.  I  now  slept  little  a. id  ate  little,  and  the  grief 
of  my  soul  drank  up  my  spirits. — But  yet  I  could  not  be- 
lieve, though  I  continued  in  prayer  and  supplication  day 
and  night,  seeking  God  in  sincerity  of  heart,  and  care- 
fully departing  from  evil. 

About  this  time  my  wife  and  I  were  permitted  to  stay 
at  the  meeting  (»f  one  of  the  classes.  I  was  much  pleas- 
ed and  refreshed:  but  she  said,  "They  had  all  agreed 
what  to  say,  in  order  to  catch  us."  Such  is  the  folly  of 
prejudice!  It  was  .<oon  after  this,  that  you  returned  from 
the  Bristol  Hotwells,  (being  just  recovered  from  your 
consumption)  namely,  on  Kasfer  Eve,  1754.  The  next 
day  you  preached  at  W  est-btreet,  April  the  14th:  it  was 
the  first  time  I  ever  saw  or  heard  you.  Under  that  ser- 
mon, God  get  my  heart  at  liberty,  removed  my  sins  from 
me,  as  far  as  the  East  is  from  the  We!»t:  which  the  very 
change  of  my  countenance  testified,  before  my  tongue 
could  utter  it.  1  had  no  great  transport  of  joy;  but  my 
load  was  2;one,  and  I  could  praise  God  from  the  ground 
of  my  heait:  all  my  sorrow,  and  fear,  and  anguish  of 
spirit  being  changed  into  a  solid  peace. 

But  on  Monday, in  the  afternoon,  as  I  was  going  along, 
I  began  to  think,  "You  fancy  your  sins  aie  forgiven 
but  you  are  deceived."  1  had  but  a  little  time  given, 
way  to  the^e  thoughts,  before  T  was  quite  miseiable. 
And  vvhen  I  got  home,  my  wife  immediately  asked,  what 
is  the  matter  with  you.^  1  said,  ^'Matter  enough:  I  have 
deceived  my  own  soul:  I  wish  I  had  my  sorrow  again,'' 
She  strongly  urged  me  not  to  reason,  but  believel  To  look 
unto  Jesus  as  giving  himself  for  me.  I  was  encouraged. 
I  soon  recovered  my  peace,  which,  by  the  mercy  (<f  God 
I  have  not  lost  since.  Soon  after  we  both  joined  the  so- 
ciety, and  met  in  brother  Good's  clas»t  and  this,  among 
all  the  irieans  of  grace,  was  peculaiily  useful  to  my  stul. 

About  this  time  my  eldest  brother,  who  u>ed  the  sea, 
after  being  wrecked,  got  his  passage  to  London.  He  was 
ea-^ily  convinced  of  sin.  and  soon  after  converted  to  God. 
S'  being  all  of  one  heart  and  one  mind  we  rejoiced  in 
God  all  the  day  long  But  it  was  not  lung  before  I  had 
strong  inij-ressions  upon  my  mind  that  Gnd  had  called 
jne  to  preach.    I  mentioned  this  ia  my  band,  after  I  had 


MR,    ALEXANDER    MATHEH.  iSl 

often  Sought  God  by  fasting  and  prayint;.  We  set  a  part 
some  days  for  the  same  exercises.  Afterwards  they  ad- 
vised me  to  mention  it  to  you.  You  said,  "-This  is  a 
common  teuiptation  <tm  ing  young  men.  Several  have 
mentioned  it  to  me.  But  the  next  thing  I  hea  d  (d  them 
is,  that  they  are  married,  or  upon  tho  poiuv  of  tt."  1 
said,  'Sir  I  am  married  already."  Yuu  ^a  d,  "C^iie  not 
for  it:  but  t<eek  God  by  fasting  and  prayer  "  I  answei  ed, 
thig  I  have  done.  You  str')iip^'y  rec"m'neiid'rd  pafience 
ad  perseverance  therein^  arid  sdiH,  \ou  doubted  not  but 
Godwould  SMon  make  the  way   .lain  bef>>re  my  face 

Sooii  after  you  ajcoiiited  me  t<»,be  the  leader  of  a  band, 
and  in  a  litMc  time,  of  ;i  class.  And  God  b'e-sed  me  in 
both:  but  this  did  not  at  all  alter  my  coavic'iMi  fliat  I 
musi  fireacli;  nay,  itgrew  stronge:  and  stronger,  till  hav- 
ing no  rei:t  day  or  night.  I  was  con-trained  to  c«ime  to 
you  again,  and  tell  you  just  what  I  felt.  Y;)u  told  me, 
"To  be  a  Methodist  preacher  is  not  the  way  to  ea^e, hon- 
our, plearure,  or  profit-  It  is  a  life  of  much  laboui  and 
reproach.' — They  often  fare  har<i,  often  are  in  wdnt. 
They  are  liable  to  be  stoned,  beaten  and  abusiMl  in  vari- 
ous manners.  (^Jiigider  this,  before  you  engage  in  S'  un- 
comfortable a  way  of  life."  I  replied,  1  had  no  de»ire 
to  engage  therein,  unless  it  was  the  call  of  God:  aod  I 
did  iiot  regard  whdt  I  suffered,  i'^  doing  tlie  wiil  of  G.id." 
You  >aid,  ''You  may  then  make  a  trial  t<»  incrow  at 
Snowfields  Chapel."  1  did  so.  The  Monday  following 
you  appointed  me  for  VN  apping  Chappel,  and  for  the 
Foundeiy  on  ruesday  morning.  It  was  near  ten  o'cl(.>ck 
wiien  I  received  the  message.  I  soi>n  went  fo  work,  but 
was  t'Mgaged  in  meditation  and  prayer  all  the  time  I  was 
making  my  dough — As  soon  as  I  had  dune,  (the  re^t  uf 
the  family  being  in  bed)  1  went  to  prayer  m  viiirii  I 
found  great  libeity.  I  then  read  in  uty  Bible  hi  find  a 
text  and,  continued  reading  and  piayina;«ill  twooV:  rk. 
It  .vasthen  time  to  call  my  fellow  servant,and  we  we  tto 
work  together,  being  employed,  as  u^u<^l,  till  near  f .  r, 
in  preparing  the  biead  for  the  oven.  Ail  this  time  i  was 
still  in  meditation  and  prayer,  but  could  not  fix  upoti  a 
text.  Soon  after  four,  he  wen'  to  bed  igain,  and  I  went 
to  prayer,  till  quarter  brfore  fi\t  w'len  I  ueut  t  >  F.tuniiry, 
but  with  much  fea-  and  tre  ubling:  and  w  en  i  ti>'>k  up 
the  hymn-book,  I  was  so  faint,  that  1  could  iiot  speak  so 


13S  EXPEniKNCE   OF 

as  to  be  understood.  The  people  therefore  could  not 
sing:  and  as  1  was  no  singer,  we  were  at  a  stand.  This 
did  not  a  little  increase  my  agitali  n,  which  was  so  great 
that  1  could  not  keep  one  of  my  joints  from  shaking.-— 
However,  in  a  while  1  went  on:  and  after  prayer,  opened 
the  Bible  on  these  words,  "Ye  are  bought  with  a  price; 
therefore  glorify  God  with  your  body  and  spirit,  which 
are  God's."  1  now  left  the  determination  of  this  weighty 
aftair  with  you,  desiring,  that  if  you  judged  I  was  called 
of  God  to  preach,  you  would  employ  me,  (as  my  business 
would  permit)  just  when  and  where  you  pleased. 

In  a  little  time  I  was  more  employed  than  my  strength 
would  well  allow.  1  had  no  tiine  for  preaching  but  what 
I  took  from  my  sleep:  so  that  I  had  frequently  not  eight 
hours  sleep  in  a  week.  This  with  hard  labour,  constant 
abstemiousness,  and  frequent  fasting,  brought  me  so  low, 
that  in  a  little  more  than  two  years,  I  was  hardly  able  to 
follow  my  business.  My  master  was  oiten  afraid  I 
should  kill  myself,  and  perhaps  his  fear  was  not  ground- 
less. I  have  frequently  put  otF  my  shirt  as  wet  with 
sweat  as  if  they  had  been  dipt  in  water.  After  hastening, 
to  finish  my  business  abroad,  1  have  came  home  all  in  a 
sweat  in  the  evening,  changed  my  clothes,  and  ran  to 
preach  at  one  or  another  chapel;  then  walked  or  ran 
back,  changed  my  clothes,  and  gone  back  to  work  at  ten, 
wrought  hard  all  night  and  preached  at  five  the  next 
inoining,  1  ran  back  to  dtaw  the  bread  at  a  quarter  or 
half  an  hour  past  six;  wrought  hard  in  the  bake  house  till 
eight,  then  hurried  about  with  the  bread  till  theafternoon, 
and  perhaps  at  night  set  off' again. 

'Tis  true,  I  need  not  have  continued  so  longin  this  way. 
For  you  proposed  my  going  to  Ireland  wit  y  oi  ,a>-  a  tra-., 
veiling  preacher,  in  the  beginning  nf  March,  1756;  1  cheer- 
fully agreed  thereto,  as  you  promi^rd  m\  wife  should  be 
pr«»vided  for  in  my  absence.  This  I  mentioned  to  one  of 
my  friends,  who  said  "No  doubt  he  intends  it;  but  when 
he  i*  gone  the  stewards  will  do  a»  they  please:  adding, 
<«H  w  can  you  labour  in  Ireland,  while  your  wifeis  starv- 
ing heie?"!  thought  however,  1  would  talk  with  the  stew- 
ards myself,  I  did  ^n,  and  M'.  Broltsand  Hcibbiiis  asked, 
.sWtiat  will  be  sufficient  for  your  wife.''"  1  answeied, 
»«Fuu'  shillings  a  week."  But  this  they  were  unvvilling 
to  all^^*    ^"  ^  remained  at  my  bu&iness,  till  another 


?  •" , i  M  I! .   A  L :■: X  A  N  U  E  li  M  A  I  H  i.  i i  - 

jK)i!itofl  out,  which  I  fi>!l<>wc:!.  rill  Aiipfsist,  ^r.^i". 
it  wus  ihcn  J\;;recil,  that  I  should  iimvcI,  and  iJiaf 
my  wife  should  have  liiat  fixed  nllo^v.iici;.  Tliis 
was  the  begiatiirjf^  of  that  scfllemcMt  iuj*  PiNv.ichci's* 
\^ive»,  which  (with  (h^  luMiliou  oi"  iorly  !5lii!rm;»s  •.« 
year)  contirnM's  to  thbday. 

1  was  a()!)t)ii!tcd  foi*  EpwartU  Ciretiit  irt  T/jru'Ohi- 
sltiie;  whi(.d>tliet»  iiudwled  (suinsh«)riuii;h,  Grimsby, 
find  Slicftiehl  circuits.  1  iel't  LoiuIdii.  Aui^iist  liv, 
1757,  to  walk  to  Epworth,  about  aa  hundred  and  fif- 
ty aiiies.  My  fidlow  labonters  were  I'homas  llan- 
by,  Tsioiniis  Tobias,  au;l  afterwards  ''iiornas  Lee. 
It  \)lea;:ed  God,  to  5^1  ve  me  niueb  of  his  presence  i» 
n)y  own  souljaiwl  to  let  iiic  see  somo  fmit  of  my  la- 
bour. This  si!pporte<l  fiut  Ufulei*  thi"  variou.^  exe*- 
«?ises  I  met  wi(i>.  The  first  of  thctjo  was  at  Rolher- 
hinn,  where  John  Thorjte,  one  of  (>ur  local  preach 
ers,  had  jus(  separated  from  us.  IJe  declared  oj>eu 
waraj^ainst  us,  particularly  opposiii;^;  what  he  called 
my  perfection.  Yet  it  pleased  God  to  raise  up  ma- 
ny witnesses  of  i(;  many  that  loved  l^im  with  all 
?heir  hearts.  Several  oTwhosn  arc  still  biir.ii!ii^and 
shininj;  li_q;h(s,  and  several  removed,  into  Ahruisani'ii 
bosom.  Yea,  it  was  observed,  that  some  o!'  his  own 
hearers,  even  while  he  was  preaehini^u.t^ainsl  aalva- 
lion  from  sin,  were  fully  convinced  oT  tiio  necessity 
of  it;  and  imlced  never  rssted  iKore.,  tiil  they  wer;.; 
happy  witnesses  of  it. 

in  autumn  1  was  dcr^ired  to  1^0  to  Boston.  I  did 
so,  and  preached  i»  a  field  on  a  Sabbath  eveninj;  wilu 
lolerable  quiotn^^ss.  The  rAvit  5i>ne  1  went,  Mr.  AU 
wood  and  I  judged  it  would  U'  best  to  be  in  the  mar- 
ket-place,. We  began  singiuf*,  when  suddenly  ;•. 
large  mob  appeared,  with  u  drum  beating  befori. 
(hem:  meantime  a  gi-eat  nujuFjei'  of  stjtiibs  were 
tlyownank)ng  tlw  people,  binding  ii  was  impossi 
l>U  to  be  h^ard,  we  purposed  going  to  a  frieniKs,  a- 
bout  a  mile^from  the  town.  The  mojueiit  vi-a  Ijirucif 
our  hntdis,  the  dirt  and  s«ones  flew  like  huiloji  «v«ry 
On  t]i'i  bridge  a  jiiun  aiopu<!<lm»$but  w<;  lu"tii>^ 


''j-k  KXVEltlEMCE     OF 

JVoni  hiiu  arid  went  on  witli  <lie  mob  at  ours  heels, 
tlnow  in,!^  all  that  came  to  hand.  Their  nninl)er  eon- 
tiniiallv  ini-reasina;,  we  thought  it  would  be  uioslad- 
vjseable  to  Taec  them, and  (ry  to  get  baek  to  the  town, 
where  we  had  left  our  horses.  My  two  companions 
iJUTtiediately  leaped  over  a  wide  ditch,  which  divid- 
ed the  tleld.  But  before  1  couid  follow  them,  one  of 
tlie  m«jh  coming  behind  me  stiuck  u|»  my  heels,  and 
gave  me  a  violent  fall.  When  I  got  up,  mj  friends 
^.vereout  of  sight,  and  the  mob  surrounded  me  on  ev- 
>v\  side.  1  knew  not  wbicb  way  to  go.  neither  indeed 
bow  to  goat  all,  being  exceeding  weak  and  spent, 
both  with  the  fall,  and  the  niuny  blows  I  iiad  receiv- 
ed. Being  a  little  recovered,  1  tried  to  go  through 
them.  t(»  a  foot  bridge  that  wasGver  the  ditch.  Thej' 
iorbore  throwing,  till  1  drew  near  the  bridge,  and 
iJien  all  cried  out,  "Diteb  him,  ditch  him."  And 
just  on  the  side  of  the  ditch,  one  truck  uj)  my  heels 
again,  let  he  stood  by  me,  and  let  me  rise  up,  and 
walk  ijuietly  over  the  bridge.  I'here  I  was  in  the 
niiddle  of  the  mob,  and  a  large  field  to  go  through 
parted  from  tl»e  road  by  high  rails,  which  had  a 
brousi  ditch§on  either  side.  When  1  came  to  the  rails, 
1  knew  not  how  to  get  over,  my  breath  being  ahuost 
spent.  And  if  I  could,  1  saw  n«»  likelihood  of  esca- 
pi!»g  the  being  thrown  into  the  ditcd.  However 
they  let  me  crawl  over  without  much  hurt.  But  as 
soon  as  1  was  on  the  road,  the  same  person  who  slop- 
ped Mb  on  the  bridge  collared  ine,  to  drag  me  to  the 
horse  jumd,  while  the  rest  plaistered  me  over  afresh 
Avilh  dirt.  But  just  as  we  came  to  the  pond,  a  gen- 
tleman called  out  to  him  that  held  nie,  *'JLet  the  ntan 
gi.."  Be  in.mediately  let  go  his  hold,  and  J  passed 
by  the  pond. 

1  had  still  to  walk  through  the  whole  town,  my 
liorsc  being  at  the  far  end  of  it.  When  1  came  into 
tiic  street,  tliey  got  the  dirt  out  of  the  kennels,  jnd 
ihrcw  it  in  my  face.  As  no  door  was  open  to  take 
me  in,  I  was  obliged  now  and  then  to  turn  ami  face 
lUcm  ^Ibtirwise  they  seldom  looked  me  in  the  face) 


■»IR.    AI-KXANUEK    MATHER.  '' '' 

in  ordei'  to  gef  breiUh.     When  I  oamc  into  t!jo  vy.\v 
ket  plaee,  there  was  a  {^ener.il  shont  foi'  the  i;!oi>oii« 
victory.     HeiVue   I  got  »o  the  iiin,  I  was  Just  ready 
lo  iie  down,   when  due  stniek  nic  violciiily.  in  ordci' 
to  strike  ii|>  my  heels.     Hnl  I  kept  my  i'eef,  I  knon 
not  how;  whieh    I  hmked  on  its  a  jj;reat  nicrey;  as 
sueh    a  i'all   upon  the  ^;ones   might  have   done  me 
much  hurt.     At  the  same  lime  one   threw  a  stone, 
whieh  struck  me  on  the  tempU-.     I  then  conehided, 
I  must  die  in  their  hands'.    But  by  the  mercy  of  God. 
I  was  strangely  brought  through  all  the  multitude  to 
the  inn  where  I  had  aliglited.     Being  sat  down,  my 
first  thought  was,  "Father!  forgive  them;  t'ov  ibey 
know  not  what  they  do."  Indeed  my  mind  (glory  he 
to   God!)  was  kept   throu-h    the   whole  in  perfect 
peace.     By  this  lime  some  of  my  friends,  who  had 
followed  at  a  distance,  were  come  in,  and  w  ere  wasli 
ing  my  wouod^  when  the  mob  came  to  the  dot^v^^^,,  j., 
threatening  wliat  they  would  do  to  the  house,  if  thW*' 
landlord  did  not  turn  me  out.     He  came  in  and  said. 
*I  cannot    keep  you  here,  for  the  mob  will  pull  my 
house  down."    1  told  him,  "Sir,  I  am  in  your  house; 
but  while  I  use  it  as  an  inn,  it  is  mine.     Turn  me  out 
at  your  peril.     If  ycm  fearyour  house  apply  to  a  ma- 
gistrate for  protcciion."     He  went  to  his  lanlord. 
wlio  WHS  a  nragistrate,  and  ordered  hiin    to    take 
down  tlie  names  of  the  chief  rioters.     After  a  while 
I  mounted  my  horse  in  the  yard,  aiid  then,  the  gale^ 
being  opened,  rode  (lirough  a  shower  of  stones,  and 
came  safe  to  our   frien<l  s    house.     Bu*'   1   was'so 
brw  ed,  almost  from  head  to  foot,    lliat  when  I  was 
e<dd  1  could  hardly  stir.     And  it  was  a  full  year  be- 
fore I   quite  recovered   the   hurts  w hich  1  then  re- 
ee-ived. 

The  next  day  I  went  back  with  a  friend  to  the 
town.  I  soon  lound  three  of  (he  ri<»iers,  to  w  hom  ! 
could  swear;  but  the  rest  were  abseomlcil.  Hearing 
the  justices  were  in  the  hail,  we  went  thithci*  witij- 
out  delay:  and  telling  the  clerk,  we  had  busiue-^i 
with  the  court,  we  were  siieedily  inir  jduced.     The 


KXI'EivIK'A-CP.    Ot 


rluiirnir.T).  nf'.c;'  wi-  Itiid  made  our  compiaini,  rouj^li- 
>v  .^•.'.id.  ''YoM  ure  the  a^^j^ressof;  and  now  ^ou  i»ave 
iiic   irvpiidt'iuc    to    come    lo  us,  ri*(]uirinj4;  justice 

.gaitist  (^dirrs!'"  I  'aDSMerod,  <'I  jini  Iktc.  IH  have 
'ii'ol.e  i\u\  \i\v,^\l\iiU^t  Die  \wr,iiUy  upon  me.  Biit  in 
'JiC  mean  xum',  i  leqiiire  vou,  in  his  JMajestY'siiajuc., 
1(1  do  j;;s{ue  ii',,M!n  IliO^c  rioters."  AHer  more 
fhreutr;..  1  v^'hh  desired  (oeal!  upon  one  orthem.alhis 
'.nvn  h<f4ise,  ^UK•ti  Ihe  eourt  >vas  over.  J  did  .s«>..  and 
he  behaved  e:\cee<]injj;  well,  sendinj^  his  s€r:^*an(  for 
iwo  of  (he  rioters;  one  of  uhom  hr«w{>ht  his  master 
^o  speak  for  him;  hut  th<>:  Jiistiee  told  him  jdainly, 
''Eiifier  inal<e  it  up  with  Mr  Mather,  or  I  uil!  ger.d 
>ou  tojait  <rn\'eri%.*'  They  hoth  then  asked  jKir- 
.lon,  {»roiui!!;cd  f^ooil  hohaviour  for  the  future,  paid 
ihe  expenses,  and  >vere  dismissed.  'Die  third  Hed, 
but  a  warrant  bcio^  given,  he  was  apprehended;  but 
upon  ilic  same  terms  he  Vras  released. 

I  eatinothut  remiirk  another  thing  whieh  happeR- 
>d  tSiis  jear.  NoUinghara  had  at  this  time  no  re^n- 
iar  preaehill£^  I  had  a  strong  desire  to  make  a  tiial 
Iheie,  and  eume  (hither  in  ihe  afternoon.  At  Mat- 
thew Baj;shaNv's,  1  found  Joim  Johnson,  of  York, 
"ivho  said,  1  am  ghid  you  are  eome,  for  here  is  a  poor 
snan,  who  is  to  die  to-morrow,  whose  behaviour  is 
terrilyin.i^:  he  enrtcs,  swears,  and  threatens  deaiSi  to 
uM  wfio  i\A\Q.  ;;iven  cvidenee  a.y;ainst  him;  the  jaih)r 
in  jjjirlieniai'.  He  will  see  no  clergyman,  but  says, 
iie  res<dves  to  l)e  a  devil,  that  he  may  revenge  him- 
.'^elf.  ']  be  minister  hasgi^en  uic  free  leave  to  visit; 
him.  1  went  this  morning;  but  he  said,  "Give 
TonrseH"  no  trouhh»  about  nies  By  this  time  io  mor- 
row, 1  sliJill  he  a  devil,  and  then  1  wii!  eome  anci  tear 
ihat  villain  in  pieces."  We  immediately  wcr^t  to 
T)rj»yer  and  vehemently  wrestled  with  (Jod  on  his 
iichalf.  After  prayers,  we  went  to  him,  and  at  first 
!  ij^ht  o!)>;ervrd  an  entire  rhange  in  his  beliaviour.— 
""Ae  enjjuired  when  (his  sudden  ehange  began?  And 
Juund  it  was  just  while  we  were  at  prayer.  Hut  we. 
h<u\  JittJe  ^opportunity  of  speaking  to  him,  the  mini?- 


MU.    ALUKANDEU    M.VTiIIiU.  l^i      ^ 

\.QV  (for  whom  he  h:v\  sent)  beinj;  just  come.  I  eop.lol 
only  SUV,  as  he  ]jRsse(l  hy   me  heavy  ironed,  "JesuSn 
Christ 'is' both   ahle  and    willing  to  strike   off  (ho? 
lieavicr  fetters  ol'  sin  IVom  your  soul."     Jle  looked^ 
earnestly,  hu(  said  nothing.     Wc  applied  a-aiu    Ut 
tlie  thro'ne   of  Grace,  before    and  afier  preaehinjr 
and  likewise  great  part  of  tlie  night.     We  weul  em  - 
ly  in  the   morniii}?,  and  he  was  brons^ht  to  us  in  the 
parlour.  We  talked  and  prayed  with  him  some  time.- 
After  rising  from    prayer,  he  said  to  the  jailor,  "l' 
now  forgive  and  love  you;  and  I  hope  and  pray,  ihat 
you  will  forgive  me."'    'I'iiis  was   qniekly  noised  a- 
bout  the  town,  Avhieh   filletl   the  yard  willi   s-ieeta- 
tors,  who  erouded  aliout  the   windows,    whieU  gave 
us  an  opportunity  of  sjjeakiHg  to  tiiem.aUo.     lie  now 
aeknowedged  the  justice  of  his  sentence,  and  was  re- 
signed to  ii,  having  a  strong  hope  of  finding  merey. 
We  attended  him  into  the  yard,  when  bis  irons  w^>l'& 
knocked  off,  amidst  a  vast  eruv/d,  to  wSiom  he  spai^o 
jnuch  on  the  occasion.  Thence  we  accoiapartiodliiin 
to  the  chureh,    and    afterwards  to  the  caH,  v^hich 
stood  at  the  gate,  really  to  receive  bi.vn.     fcvj^t  us  he 
desired  to  walk  between  us,  the   '^lieiilV  i>!tvo  him 
leave,  and  to(vk  iwac'j  pains  to   Ueep  o'^' thi  ojvVxvU: 
at  the  end  of  the'town,  we  sa-jg  part  of  (hfit  •llyirtfi, 

"0  fcr  a  thousand  toug-ues  to  sing,    ' 
"M.y  Great  Kedgein.er's. praise," 
During  the  three  first  verses  ue  secitied  liiii.*.tl  uj.: 
but  when  we  canie  to  vho?c  words  in  tiie  fouilh^vorsCi 
"His  Blood  c.iii.make  the  foulest  clvi.iii.  , 
"His  Klaodaviiira  for  me!" 
ke  rejoiced  with  joy  unspeakablel     WHcq  we  came 
Jo  the  ])lace  of  exeeiilion,  the  minister  pf'^y6!i['';i(Vt 
%vent  away.     U'he   sheriiT  allowed  us  lo  p;-av  \\U% 
him   ag-.iin.     And  we  eomniitteU  lii^  soul  tu'cVii^ 
in  ehecrfulhopeof  meeting  him  again  Ih  ilb'i^hanL!^ 
b<»som.  *   ' '    '' 

In  the  year  175S,  bciuj^  statfoned    hj  :f. 

Circuit,  (which  then  reached  as  far  as  Altiristiu.'jro  j 
1  made  a  visit  to  iJreehin,  in  my  iiva^v  to  AVljieb^I  w^ 
slMzeii  wfth  thii'bioody  fliix.     As  i'o  jti  Ks^jf  i/./f  nofjie 
13  * 


io¥  EXPEHIENOE    OT 

I  took  my  room.  I  was  not  able  to  come  dowu 
stairs  f « r  a  month.  My  wife  was  quite  a  stranger 
at  Newcastle:  but  I  eoiiW  leave  her  and  all  things 
to  God.  I  spoke  freely  to  all  who  came  to  sec  me, 
not  letting  any  escape  out  of  my  hands.  Mr.  BIair> 
the  minister,  came  frequently:  and  his  son,  a  phy- 
sician, visited  me  several  times  a  day.  It  was  now  I 
discharged  the  clotted  blood,  which  had  lain  in  me 
ever  since  the  riot  at  Boston.  Yet  I  did  not  recov- 
er, till  I  prevailed  upon  my  mother  togivemea  large 
quantify  of  toast  and  water.  The  disorder  was  then 
presently  stopped,  and  in  a  day  or  two  1  went  down 
stairs. 

I'lte  sabbath  following  the  Sacrament  was  to  be 
:adminrstered.  I  sent  a  line  to  Mr.  Blair,  and  desired 
to  be  admitted  to  it,  if  it  would  not  offend  any  of  his 
parishioners.       He  immediately  sent  me  a  token, 
saying  '•!  will  admit  y<m  if  they  are  all  offended." 
I  went  on  sabbath,    t  «e   first  day  I    was   abroad. 
The  service  lasted  from  nine  in  the  morning,  to  five 
in  the  evening;  but  I -received  no  hurt.     The  next 
morning  I  breakfasted  at  Mr.  Blair's,  with  the  min- 
ister that  assisted  at  the  sacrament:     They  were 
sensible,  candid  men.     Mr.  Blair  desired  me  to  give 
ihem  an  account  of  the  works  of  God  in  England. 
But  when  I  mentioned  the  greatness  of  the  work, 
and  the  fewness  o   the  labourers,  he  said,  *'among 
so  great  a  number  of  people,  there  must  be  manj 
men  of  learning:  why  does  not  Mr.  W.  send  them 
out?"  This  led  me -to  mention  the  prerequisites  of  a 
Methodist  ^preacher:  namely,  1  A  knowledge  of  God 
as  his  God,  as  having  pardoned  all  his  sins.  2.  A  life 
and  conveisaition  suitable'thereto.  3,  A  clear  coitTic- 
tion  that  he  was  called  of  God  to  the  work;  other 
wise  he  could  not  bear  the  crosses  attending  it.  4. 
Some  fruit  of  his  labour,  in  convincing  and  convert- 
«Dg  of  sinners.    Mt.  Blair  broke  out  '»lf  these  are 
the  prerequisites  of  a  Methodist  preacher,  they  must 
not  Cf>me  here  for  them."  1  preached  twice  before  I 
left  Brechin;  to  a  vast  conoourse  of  people^  aaU  af> 


MR.    ALEXANDRtt    MATHER.  13$ 

lerward  atMo!itro;je:  Imt  I  kn  )\v  not  that  it  had  stny 
laslini^  effect,  unless  the  peinoving  of  (»ri'jutli<!e. 

in  1759  I  was  stationed   in  Y»rk  cii-tjuit,     wliioh 
then  included  Yarui.  Scdi'b>rouj^li,and  Hull  eii-cuits. 
In  this  yeai*  the  work  at  VVIiitbv  hCj^an.  a:id  \re  had 
a  great    out-pourint^  o<*  the  spirit  in   many    places. 
The  next  year  I  was  in  St.iiF<»rds!iif  •,  where  it  pleas- 
ed God  to  work  in  a  very  eniineni  manner:  at  >)ar- 
leston  in  particular,  where  there  was  a  small,  but 
steady  society  of  hm;.;  staudi  i;;.      Several  of  tiiesc 
ha<l  borne  much  perHeculion,  and  look  joyfully  the 
sp  lilin.^'  of  tueir  g  »ods.      Ever  sim-e,  tueir  behavi  »r 
has  been  unblameai)le:  atid  yet  n  Hie  of  them  could 
sa  ,  •«!  know  that   my   lledee.ner  iiveih."   8oui    of 
the><e  coming  over  to  the    prayer  mHetinga  at   Wed- 
ncisbury,  and  heariog  (what  they  thoui^hl  they  had 
never  heard  before)  that   ihev  were  to  believe  now: 
that  they   mi^ht  come  to  (Jhrist  now,  wttuoui  any 
otiier  quatitication,  than  a  sense  of  their  own   siiiful- 
ness  and  l^elpie»suess,  were  u(teriy  a-»lonished;  and 
they  began  to  he  amazed  at  their  slowness  of  heart. 
Presenl.'y  a  [irayer  meeting  was  set   up  at  iJarias- 
ton.     And  in  a  little  time   many  soitl-s  were  -nd  at 
lil»epty.     Ti>e  oldest  stood  out  longest,      ifler   all 
they  liaU  done  atid  suffered,  they   fuund  it  hard  to 
couie,  as  havi.ig  dotie  notiiiog.  A. id  when  they  were 
urged  to  it  in  atlass  or  prayer-meeii.ig  tiiey  were 
ready  to  gnash  their  teeth.    But  whether  they  would 
hear  or  forbear,    God  continued  to  atlii  more  and 
more  souls  to  his  genuine  Gospel.     Nothing  st«»od 
before  it— many  of  the  servants  and  children  of  these 
old  professors  cried  out  "W  lat  must  I  do  l(»  be  sav- 
ed?" being  pointed  to  the  Lamb  of  God,  they  believ- 
ed and  rejoiced  in  God  their  Saviour,  to  the  utter 
astonishmeut  of  their  unbelieving  masters  and  pa- 
rents.    In  one  niglii  it  was  comuion  to  see  live  or 
six  (and  sometimes  more)  praisitig  God  for  his  par- 
doning mercy.  And  not  a  few  in  Birmingham,  Dud- 
ley, aud  Wolverhampton,  as  well  as  in  VVeilnesOurj 
and  Darlaston,  clearly  testified,  that  the  blood  of 
•Tesus  Carisit  bad  cleansed  Uiem  from  all  sia. 


).  4  v>'  K  ;^  i'  i;  u  i  t. :'  'J  L  0  r 

M.:^-an(imo the  societies  increased  greatly'.  la  Our- 
laston  we  pupeliaseil  j^jround  atu!  built  a  preaching- 
house,  ansl  in  iliraiinghani  we  hired  a  larj^e  buihiiiiji;. 
Satan  was  alarmed  at  tliis,  and  stirred  uj)  outward 
j)er,seeution,  both  at  Birmiuijjhaui  and  VVoiverhajnp- 
ton.    But  it  did  us  no  hurt.    Oar  brethren  went  on^ 
not  counting  tlieir  lives  dear  unto  thenjselves.     He 
then  made  the  minds  of  some  of  the  ohl  Methodistg 
evil  affected  towards  their  hretheren.  They  began  to 
speak  much  evil  (particularly  in    their  classes)  of 
them  and  of  this  new  doctrine.     And  any  defects  in 
these  new  converts  (as  they  called  them)  were  mag- 
nificdl  to  the  utniosl:   and  then  brought  as  an  unde- 
niai»!e    proof,  that  (he  whole    matter  was   wrong. 
Tiiesc  were  earnestly  supported  by  Mr.  J. — ^-i. — g^ 
formerly  an    Itinerant,   now  a  local  preaoJjer.     To 
him  they  sent  c\evy  tale  that  malice  could  invent, 
either  against  the  work,  or  the  instruments  employ- 
ed (herein,  my  wife  in  particular;  whom  indeed  Go:l 
had  been  pleased  to  make  eminently   useful.  This 
embarrassed  me  a  little:  however,  we  went  on,  and 
the  work  did  not  suffer  rnnch,  til  about  the  time  ot 
the  conference,  when  some  of  ihe  pi^achers,  going 
through    the   circuit,   and    heai'ing  only   one    side 
(thou;^li  they  might  have  heard  both,  as  I  was  pre- 
sent) both  privately  encouraged  the  oppesition;  and 
in  their  public  discourses^  dividing  the  people  into 
the  new  and  old  believers,  use<l  many  unkind  expres- 
sions, to  encourage  the  old,  and  discourage  tiie  low 
helievers,  as  they  called  them.  This  went  liard  with 
one  that  was  not  an  old  preacher,  and  being  bui  the 
Iburtii  year  of  my  preaching,  and  theiirst  of  my  act- 
ing as  an  assistant.     However,  by  the  grace  of  God, 
far  less  hurt  was  done  than  might  iNiasonably  have 
been  expected. 

As  1  wrote  to  you  the  most  minute  circumstances 
of  the  work,  and  you  were  there  in  the  very  height 
of  it,  you  judged  it  best  to  place  me  in  tire  circuit 
another  year.  But  1  made  a  false  step  in  the  begin - 
ing  of  it.  Longing  for  peace,  and  preferring  the 
Judguieilt  of  other  men  to  my  own.  J  agreed  that  luj 


'iviic  should  not  liohl-any  ;norc  praver-meeliug-s.— ► 
luunediatetv  tiie  work  bc^an  Uf  decaj,  \n>lh  as  lo  its 
J^v,  ii'inessand  'Xien^ivejirrts,  Atitl  tiiouj^'j  i  «o:itiau-. 
t'.;  to  insist  a.s  slro><^lj  as  «ver  uj)im  the  .sii:ue  points, 
^:ct  tiici-e  WHS  not  iIh*  sivmc  eirect  lor  want  ol  bei'ond- 
iug  i)y  pr;iyci'  t»of  tiui^s,  ihe  buiw  whit-ij  \v;ts  jjiven 
ia  pirachiir^.  Mv.  Wssiell  laboured  uitb  mc  this 
scav.  We  eoni5(;iiiliy  altendt'd  StJ'ond  and  Phmjs- 
Vi'nAi:  at  both  piates  there  was  a  lai\^e  iucrcase;  as 
^jjjo  ill  several  other  {Viftsior  the  eircuit,  wliiclj  iIjcu 
included  Coiiveiury  and   Shewsbury. 

Af(ei'  iiaviiij^  been  married  near  (en  years,  I  hail 
tills  year  a  son.  Mav  be  prove  a  blessing  to  nvany, 
a-i,id  a  eoniiurt  to  hispai-ents!  In  May  and  June,  you 
desired  n\c  to  vi-it  Wales  and  regulate  the  societies 
there.  I'liey  were  aii  tiicn  supplied  by  ?vh*.  Taylor, 
who  was  exceed in,:^'  u^jeiul  ajn«»ug  them,  iiut  tlie 
Ijcople  in  ge:icrai  were  diiiieult  to  get,  and  more  so 
to  keep,  in  society.  In  many  places,  however,  they 
joined  tij^ethei*,  and  not  a  few  of  tiieni  remam  to 
this  day. 

in  1763,  God  rcivived  bis  work  in  the  Stafford- 
shire eirciiiit:  cspeeiaily  at  l>ir!ninjj;han;  notwilb- 
standin,^  tlie  diituibanee  wbieJi  we  iiad  during  die 
preach  J i\:^,  umi  liie  (ianii;er  ol  lieins^  murderert  by  the 
mob,  when  we  eame  oui  ol'  tlie  hou>f.  i\o  magis- 
trate eojild  (jueii  the  riolers:  or  ratiier  I  siiould 
say.  none  would.  Kor  it  is .  ertain,  any  inagisUate 
lias  power  to  preserve  the  peace  if  iie  will.  Hat 
at  Jengtn  Mv.  Wortiy  Birch  took  them  in  band;  ho 
Jai  >  some  ol"  the  notei-s  in  tlie  dungeon,  a-jd  iel't 
taem  tuere  a  n.giil  or  t.v  :t  cool.  He  lined  the  rest 
accitrding  to  law:  obliged  them  5o  pay  liie  money 
^lown,  and  ga\e  it  to  the  poor.  13y  Ibis  means  their 
stout  spirits  were  iiuiabled,  and  we  have  had  peace 
■ever  since.  This  year  a  preaching  bouse  was  built 
at  Siroud;  and  another  at  VVcdvcrhampton.  iiut 
this  was  not  long  iived:  for  sooi^  aiu'r  the  mob  as- 
sembled, and  pulled  it  down  to  tiic  j^round. 

'i'bey  had  reigned  here  r«r  a  long  time,  insonmcU 
that  it  was  difiicult   ior  a  iMethodisl  to    pass  the 


142  EXPERIENCE    OV 

s<roets.  And  now.  one  (*onM  hardly  apncnr  in  thciiv 
hut  af  the  hazard  .►f  his  life.  The  Hf>(ej"s  had  broke 
most  of  ihcir  windows,  and  swore  (liey  would  pull 
down  their  houses,  and  everv  nreaeliing  f)ousc  near. 
Ilearinjjof  this  ai  Stroud.  I  rode  over  immediate- 
ly and  found  the  whole  eountry  in  terror,  as  they  ex- 
pected every  night  tlie  mo!>  from  WoiverhampJoa, 
to  pull  down  the  preaching  hotises  at  Dud'ey.  Dar- 
laslon,  and  Wedneshury,  with  the  houses  of  the  V!e- 
thodisls.  They  first  came  to  Oarlaston,  a  place 
long  famous  for  rioting,  hoping  to  meet  with  good 
encouragement.  But  a  hog  butcher,  who  lived  near 
the  house  bearing  the  alarm,  leaped  out  of  bed,  seiz- 
ed his  cleaver,  and  running  out,  swore  death  to  the 
first  that  meddled  wich  it.  So  unexpected  a  recep- 
tion quite  discouraged  them,  and  made  them  run 
away  faster  than  they  came.  Here  we  saw  the 
good  effect  which  the  late  revival  had  upon  the  town 
in  general.  Tlifre  were  few  left,  who  would  eithef 
persecute  themselves,  or  suffer  others  to  do  it.  ■' 

But  Wolverhampton  itself  was  still  in  a  flame.  A 
friend  who  was  to  accompany  me  to  the  town,  and 
procured  a  pair  of  pocket  pistols  and  offered  me  one. 
But  I  told  him,  "No:  I  am  in  God's  work,  and  trust 
to  his  protection.  And  you  must  return  your  pis- 
tols, or  I  cannot  accept  of  your  company ."  lie  did 
30.  When  I  came  to  the  end  of  the  town,  the  alarm 
was  quickly  spread.  So  that  before  we  came  into 
the  main  street,  we  had  company  enough.  But 
they  were  restrained,  so  that  we  received  little 
abuse,  further  than  bad  language.  1  immediately 
went  to  the  justice,  who  granted  a  warrant,  but  ttic 
constable  gave  notice  of  it  to  the  rioters,  so  tluit  none 
was  laken:  some  fled,  some  hid  themselves:  the  rest 
set  the  justice  at  defiaTice.  This  occassioned  several 
neighboring  justices  to  fix  a  day  i'or  meeiing  in  tlie 
town.  When  they  met,  several  of  the  rioiers  were 
brought  before  tliom.  Three  were  bou  il  over  to 
appear  at  Staftord,  wlu'rc  all  the  magistrates  gave 
^(tendance.  The  proof  against  the  rioiers  was  iislb 
vet  (lie  honourable  jury  acijuiUeil  tncin  a'Jl 


JIH.    AL£XANi>£H    M\THEn.  143 

This  g;ave  (hem  fresh  si)iiits:  su  the.v  hasted  home 
with  rihboas  flviug,  and  were  ^aluJed  with  beiU  and 
IxinHres,  in  OJ»e  of  whieli  the^  hiiriic  ine  uiul  mv 
friend  in  «ffi^.Y.  Dur  friends  now  I'outid  it  more 
(lanajerous  than  evi-f  to  i-ome  iiiio  tiiC  town,  oi-  j^eL 
(o  their  uouses.      Before  I  left  Staflku-d,  1  waited  on 

Ijord  D witli  Mr.  lla.ves,  Attorney,  the  person 

who  prepared  the  mob,  and  himself  made  the  lirst 
hreaeh  in  the  house.  I  told  him  plainiv,  either  let 
Mr.  Hayes  rebuild  the  liouse  or  we  will  iry  him  fur 
his  life.  He  promised  it  should  be  rebuilt  in  stieii 
a  liute:  and  it  Mas  built  accordingly.  So  did  liod 
deliver  us  out  of  this  complicated  trouble.  And  all 
the  time  his  work  prospered. 

IJut  what  could  not  be  done  by  persecution,  lias 
been  done  by  those  who  brou}j;hi  in  a  new  docrrine 
amoung  us.  This  soon  elieeUed,  and  has  now  well 
nitjh  ilestroycd,  both  the  root  and  branch  of  vi(Hl 
religion,  They  who  receive  this  new  lit^hl,  not 
only  despise  and  speak  evil  of  those  that  begat  them 
to  God.  but  even  deny  the  reality  of  thal|  unspeaka- 
ble blessing,  which  the^  then  received.  They  say, 
'•We  were  then  blind,  and  knew  nothing.'' — liupjjy 
ignorance!  which  enabled  them  to  endure  repro.uii, 
pain,  want:  vea,  to  carry  their  lives  in  their  iiands, 
counting  nothing  dear,  but  to  have  a  concieuce  void 
of  offence,  towartls  God  and  towards  man. 

In  August  1770,  1  was  stationed  in  Bristol  cir- 
cuit. Here  I  met  with  vaiious  exercises.  But  I 
was  more  than  conquerer,  and  good  was  dune  in 
Bristol,  and  in  several  other  place*.  Purlieu larly  at 
Bath,  where  they  were  obliged  fast  to  enlarge,  and 
then  to  gallery  the  preaching  house.  In  the  sprinj^ 
1  was  called  to  Monmouth,  «o  open  a  preaching 
bouse,  which  was  duly  licenced.  We  preadied  with 
tolerable  quietness  till  Sabbath  evening.  The  church 
wardens  then  came  before  me,  went  in,  and  shut  the 
doors.  Meantime  the  street  was  all  in  an  uproar: 
1  went  on  with  Mrs.  ilern  and  Mi^s  Fortuiic  (my 
only  compauionsj  til!  we  met  the  mob,  who  o^iciicil 


144  s  X  \'  r.  It  I  r,  n  c  k  o  / 

to  tlic  vh^ht  anil  left,  anrl  let  us  pass  to  ihc  dooi-.  Ic 
%>as  shut,  hul  in  a  while  1  {irt'vfliirtl  to  liave  it  onen- 
e<l.  Ami  one  «)f  (hern  a^ketl,  Vrhut  suMhorilv  1  had 
to  premh?  1  asked,  vhu  he  wus?  lie  sai<l.  (lie  ehiivch- 
Avanlen.  "Then  jou  have  n^^  anthorify  Ut  fjuestioi^ 
me.  I  shall  not  shew  nnne,  hut  to  a  proper  person, 
Ar.d  I  desire  you  will  either  hehave  well^  or  \TJlh- 
draw."  Another  said,  *«Sir,  will  you  shew  it  n-.e? 
I  am  the  l!sc  t-hief  eonslahle.*'  1  answered.  ♦•Sir,  I 
will."  \Vhile  he  was  readincr,  the  church-v.av'eij 
looked  over  him,  and  said,  *•()  Sir,  (his  will  not 
<!i>.''  1  said,  Sir,  it  will  do  For  me:  and  I  require 
all  of*  you  who  stay,  to  behave  in  a  beconiini;  nv.iii- 
ner.  The  chief  constable  then  withdrew:  b;jt  ilia 
.  erond  Was  so  {>;reat,  tlsat  they  eonhl  not  half  I'^a  in. 
And  those  without  were  so  nois\,  that  tjoihin^  eonhl 
be  heard.  So  after  a  time  1  judged  it  het-t  iv  with- 
draw. 

In  the  evening  the  mayor  sent,  desir-inj^  me  to  at- 
tend him  in  the  morning;  at  the  town  hail.  1  wenf. 
Soon  alter  came  the  mayor,  the  eierk  of  Jlie  pcui  < 
and  ail  the  chief  men  of  the  town.  Tiie  rector  uiui 
eiiratc  used  some  Flaj'sfi  wohIs.  flie  other  .s^ejc- 
tiemen  beiiuvc:!'  civilly.  But  they  asked  so  many 
questions,  anrf  spoke  so  many  at  a  time,  it  was  im- 
possible to  answer.  I  said,  '*ii;entlt"nven,  be  pleased 
to  speak  one  at  a  time.  But  this  couhl  not  be  done. 
Only  they  all  agree<Hj»  desiiin.i^  me  to  promise,  that 
i  would  eome  no  more,  i  told  them,  '*l  would 
make  no  sueh  promise;  no,  not  if  my  life  depended 
upon  it.**  So  we  parted  as  we  met,  autl  the  next  day 
i  ijoi  ?afe  to  Bristol. 

in  1773,  I  was  stationed  at  Canterbury.  During 
my  tay  in  this  circuit,  we  hud  a  fair  prospect  of  do- 
in{5  i£MiH\  Lvt  Gi-avesend.  The  eoui^i-eganon.s  wer- 
lar^e,  and  not  a  few  appeared  to  be  much  -affected 
The  society  increased,  aiitlalilhin^s  Averc  in  a  flour- 
ishing eomUtion,  till  a  poor  creature,  one  G'eoi'gf: 
Gouid,  appe;ued,  who  at  first  came  as  one  of  our 
xicniis.     Elui  nosoon-'v  had  he  gai»jed  (hoaifecl-ioii*. 


MM.    ALEXANDER    MATHEK.  149 

of  the  people,  than  he  pulled  ofT  (he  mask,  and 
preached  Calvinism.  And  hereby  such  a  wound 
was  j;iven  to  the  society,  as  is  not  healed  to  this  day. 

In  the  year  1777,  I  was  appointed  for  the  Cola 
circuit.  It  was  not  long  before,  that  the  gallery  in 
the  preaching  house,  being  full  of  people,  had  fallen 
flat  to  the  ground.  And  though  no  one  was  killed, 
yet  some  limbs  were  broken,  and  many  poor  people 
bruised.  This  obliged  me  to  travel  through  many 
societies,  in  order  to  defray  Uiose  large  expenees,of 
taking  care  of  those  that  were  hurt,  and  rebuilding 
the  gallery,  as  well  as  building  and  furnishing  a 
house  for  the  preacher.  But  whatever  fatigue  I 
had,  was  abundantly  made  up  by  the  kindness  and 
liberality  of  our  brethren. 

Having  prepared  the  materials  for  the  preaching- 
house  at  Patldiham  the  next  year,  on  the  first  of  Oc- 
tober we  laid  the  foundation.  But  a  person  pre- 
tending a  claisn  to  the  ground,  when  the  wall  was  a- 
bout  a  yard  high,  threw  a  part  of  it  down.  We  bore 
this  )u  rage,  and  proceeded  in  the  w.>rk.  This  em- 
boldened him  to  engage  three  masons,  who  came  in 
the  night,  when  the  roof  was  on,  wrested  out  the 
sides  Oi'  both  doors  with  the  iiutels,  with  a  yard  of 
the  wall  above.  They  broke  the  sides  of  the  two 
large  windows,  near  three  feet  on  each  side:  they 
then  !nade  a  large  Jiole  in  the  pillar  between  the  two 
windows,  intenJing  to  throw  down  the  himse.  But 
suddenly  such  a  panic  seized  them,  that  first  one  a-id 
then  the  other  stoj>t  short  and  ran  away.  These  re- 
turned no  more.  But  their  employer,  with  the  third 
man,  resolved  to  finish  their  work.  Presently  he  was 
hitfiseir  struck  wilh  a  fear  of  bei'ig  killed,  and  ran 
away, dragging  his  fellow  with  him. 

Being  averse  to  law,  we  bore  this  also:  but  we  set 
a  wale  i  ou  the  hoU!>e  every  nignt,  till  il  was  cover- 
ed in  and  licened,  in  hopes  we  siio  dd  tiien  be  quiet. 
But  <»  >  ii.vemlu'r  the  2ist,  ha  brjug-'it  two  men  at 
eleven  in  the  forenoon,  with  a  pakax  and  a  crow, 
and  directed  ihem.to  begin  at  one  of  Uiedourti,  whiuh 
13 


14^^  EXPERIENCE    OF 

was  not  quite  repaired.  The  workmen  stood  amaz- 
ed, but  several  of  the  townsmen  quickly  came  to 
the  place, rwo  of  them  were  remarkably  weaii  men, 
and  one  of  them  lame  besides.  One  laid  hold  of  ihe 
pickax,  and  one  of  the  crow.  They  that  held  them 
were  stout  men,  the  terror  of  the  country.  Many 
took  part  on  each  side.  I  was  in  my  room,  and  at 
first  thought  to  not  stir  out.  Bui  fearing  mischief 
.might  be  done,  I  sent  for  a  constable,  and  walked 
myself  to  the  chapel.  The  young  man  was  strug- 
ling  with  him  that  held  the  pickax,  to  whom  I  spoke, 
and  he  promised  to  be  quiet.  Meantime  some  took 
the  crow  from  the  other  man,  which  their  employer 
observed,  struck  a  lad  that  helped  them.  Here- 
turned  the  blow.  A  battle  ensued,  wherein  the  gen- 
leman  was  worsted,  and  rolled  into  the  dirt. 

Finding  there  was  no  otiier  way,  1  procured  a  war- 
rant from  Serjeant  Aspinwall,  for  the  chief  rioters. 
This  was  served  immediately.  The  next  morning 
we  waited  upon  him,  at  his  house,  and  he  bound 
them  all  over  to  the  assizes.  But  I  recollecting  that 
Mr.  W — n  had  said  before  the  serjeant,  he  was  wil- 
ling to  refer  the  whole  affair  to  him,  I  sent  him 
word,  '*  I  was  willing  tooj"  and  desired  him  te 
name  the  time  and  place.  But  he  would  do 
neither.  After  preaching  at  Millend  in  the  even- 
ing, I  went  to  bed;  but  my  sleep  departed  from  me. 
However,  I  rose  as  usual;  but  before  1  went  out  of 
my  room,  I  heard  a  knocking  at  the  door.  It  was 
one  from  Paddiham,  who  mournfully  cried  out,  "O 
Sir,  we  are  all  ruined!  Mr.  >V — n  has  got  a  waj-rant 
for  seven  and  twenty  of  us,  and  you  are  the  lirst  in 
it — We  must  all  be  at  the  Serjeant's  by  noon."  I 
told  him,  *'l  would  be  there."  As  soon  as  I  came 
I  saw  Mr.  W — n  just  goiug  into  the  yard.  I  follow- 
ed him  close,  to  the  great  joy  of  my  friends.  We 
were  near  forty  in  number.  The  sergeunt  comjng 
to  the  door,  I  asked,  ''Why  I  was  summoned?"  He 
answered,  "For  a  riot."  lansweied,  "Sir,  you  can- 
not but  know  that  Mr.  W^  has  done  this  out  of  mere 


MR.    ALEXANDER    MATHER.  147 

litigiousness.  But  why  should  Ave  trouble  the  whole 
•ountry  with  our  affairs?  cannot  we  settle  it  betweeu 
oarselves?"  To  this  Mr.  W.  agreed.  So  as  we  had 
no  bonds  of  arbitratron  ready,  we  both  signed  a 
memorandum  to  the  same  effect.  The  poor  people 
then  went  home  in  peace.  After  some  difficulties, 
the  bonds  Mere  signed,  and  after  hearing  all  parties, 
the  Serjeant's  sentence  was,  1.  That  the  ground 
(part  of  which  we  had  purchased)  should  be  equal- 
ly divided  between  us  and  Mr.  W.  and  2.  That  he 
should  pay  us  five  pounds  for  the  damage  he  had 
done.  Thus  we  were  at  length  delivered  out  of  our 
trouble,  and  peace  re-established  at  Paddiham. 

What  I  may  meet  with  hereafter,  1  know  not:  I 
can  only  say,  I  find  it  in  my  heart  to  spend  and  be 
spent  for  God,  in  promoting  his  glory  and  the  sal- 
vation of  man.  To  that  end  I  am  determined  still 
to  preach  the  whole  Methodist  doctrine,  and  see  that 
the  dicipline  to  which  lirod  has  led  us,  be  executed 
in  all  its  branches.  I  see  more  and  more,  that 
where  it  is  not  executed,  little  lasting  good  is  done. 
1  know  this  is  not  the  way  of  ease,  nor  the  way  to 
popularity.  But  as  I  set  out,  without  a  view  to  ei- 
ther, so  1  hope  to  continue  by  the  grace  of  God. 
I  remain  your  affectionate. 

And  dutiful  son  in  the  gospel, 

ALEXANDER  MATHER. 

After  reading  and  considering  the  foregoing  ac- 
count, I  observed  to  Mr.  Mather,  that  he  had  whol- 
ly omitted  one  considerable  branch  of  his  experi- 
ence, touching  what  is  properly  termed  the  great 
salvation.  He  wrote  me  a  full  and  particular  an- 
swer, the  substance  of  which  I  have  subjoined. 

JOHN  AVESLEY. 

"I  answer,  1.  With  regard  to  the  time  and  place, 
it  was  at  Rotherham,  in  ti\e  year  1737,  that  I  enjoy- 
ed it  in  a  far  larger  degree,  than  1  ever  did  before, 
or  do  now.     Although  my  situation  the  next  year 


14S  £XfERIBNOE    OF 

laid  many  hindrances  in  the  way,  yet  1  both  preach- 
ed it  plainly,  and  strongly  encouraged  those  that 
had  before  experienced  it,  and  such  as  professed  to 
receive  it  at  that  time,  either  at  Bunderland  or  else- 
where. This  1  continued  to  do  in  59  and  60;in  \*hich 
time  many  were  made  partakers  of  it,  in  York,  at 
and  near  Pocklington,  in  Hull,  and  various  other  pla- 
ces. It  was  the  enjoyment  of  this,  which  supported 
me  in  the  trials  1  met  with  at  Wednesbury,  in  the 
two  following  years.  During  which,  many  were  ad- 
ded to  the  witnesses  of  it  in  Birmingham,  Dudley, 
Darlaston,  Wolrerhampton  and  "Wednesbury.  It  was 
my  own  experience  which  emboldened  me  to  assert 
it,  even  where  it  was  opposed  by  our  chief  members, 
partly  because  of  the  faults  of  some  that  professed 
itj  but  chiefly  because  of  the  natural  enmity  of 
Iheir  hearts  to  God. 

l\'hat  I  had  experienced  in  my  own  soul,  was  an 
instantaneous  deliverance  from  all  those  wrong  tem- 
pers and  affections,  which  I  had  long  and  sensibly 
groaned  under.  An  entire  disengagement  from  eve- 
ry creature,  with  an  entire  devotedness  to  God;  and 
from  that  moment,  I  found  an  unspeakable  pleasure 
in  doing  the  will  of  God  in  all  things.  I  had  also  a 
power  to  do  it,  and  the  constant  approbation  both  of 
my  own  conscience  and  of  God.  I  had  simplicity 
of  heart,  and  a  single  eye  to  God,  at  all  times  an<l  in 
all  places;  with  such  a  fervent  zeal  for  the  gIor,>  of 
God,  and  the  good  of  souls  as  swallowed  up  every 
other  care  and  consideration.  Above  all,  1  l«ad  un- 
interrupted communion  with  God,  whether  &.lee|»ing 
or  waking.  Oh!  that  it  were  with  me,  a-,  when  the 
eiiiidle  of  the  Lord  shone  upon  my  head!  While  I 
call  it  to  my  mind,  my  soul  begins  to  wing  its  way 
toward  that  immediate  enjoyment  of  God.  May  it 
never  be  retarded,  but  press  into  the  glorious  liberty 
which  is  equally  free  for  all  the  sons  of  God. 
"As  to  the  manner  in  which  this  work  was  wrought, 
i.  After  I  was  clearly  justified,  1  was  soon  made  sen- 
sible of  my  want  of  it.     For  although  1  was  enable 


MR.    ALEXANDER    MATHER.  149 

to  be  very  eireumspeei,  and  had  a  continual  powci- 
over  outward  aud  inward  sin,  yet  1  fell  in  nic  wliat  I 
knew  wasconlraj-y  to  (lie  mind  which  was  in  Ciii'ist, 
arid  what  hindered  ine  iVoui  enjoyinj;  ami  ^lorirying 
hin»,  asl  saw  it  was  the  priviles^e  of  a  eliild  ofCiod 
to  do.  And  such  I  knew  niysell*  to  l)e,  both  from 
tlie  finit  and  the  witness  of  his  spirit;  which  I  felt 
in  a  strong-  dejj;iee.  supporting  me  in  conllicts  of  a 
very  close  and  paiticular  nature.  2.  My  conviction 
of  the  need  of  a  farther  change,  was  abundantly  in- 
creased by  ihe  searching  preaching  of  Mr.  Walsh, 
of  blessed  memory.  This  kept  my  conscience  very 
tender,even  to  a  degree  of  scrupulosity;  and  helped 
mc  to  be  much  in  private  pi'ayer,andkept  me  watch- 
ing thereunto.  3.  When  1  saw  my  call  to  preach,  the 
difficulties  attending  that  ofiice,  shewed  me  more 
and  more  the  need  of  such  a  cliangc,  that  1  might 
bear  all  things;  and  by  searching  the  scriptures,  I 
saw  the  possibility  of  it  more  clearl/,  and  was  stir- 
red up  to  seek  it  more  earnestly.  4.  When  1  began 
traveling.l  had  no  end,aim, or  design  but  to  spend  and 
be  spent  for  God  :  not  counting  my  life,  or  any  thing 
dear,  so  I  mi>;ht  finish  my  course  with  joy  :  which 
indeed  1  expected  wouhl  be  very  shoit,  as  *•  1  dealt 
'n»y  life  at  every  blow."  I  saw  as  clearly  as  I'do 
now,  that  nothing  furthers  that  end  so  much  as  a 
heart  and  life  wholly  devoted  to  Gt>d. 

'<  This  made  me  neglect  the  advantage  I  had  in 
my  youth  of  a  tolerable  acquaintance  with  latin, 
which  I  could  easily  have  recovered  :  (jj^  but  this 
and  every  other  gain  i  counted  but  loss,  that  i  might 
win  that  intimacy  with  God,  which  1  still  think  to 
be  the  life  of  preaching.  Therefore  I  husbanded  all 
tiie  time  that  1  could  save  iroiia  company,  eating  or 
sleeping,  to  lay  out  in  wrestling  with  God,  for  my- 
self and  the  titck  :  so  I  devoted  to  God  some  part  of 
every  leisure  hour;  over  and  above  the  hour  from 
eleven  to  twelve  in  the  forenoon,  and  from  four  to 
five  in  the  afternoon.  Jlersin  I  was  sweetly  drawn 
13  * 


150  KXiPERIENCE    OF 

after  God,  and  had  manTand  Jai-^e  views  of  (hat  sal- 
vation which  1  waited,  and  which  he  had  provided 
in  his  Son.  The  exceeding  j»rea!  and  preeious  pro- 
mises wereeleai'ly  opened  tome.  And  having  a  full 
assurance  of  the  power  and  faitlnfulfjess  of  the  pro- 
mises, my  soul  often  tasted  of  their  sweetness.  And 
though  unbelief  prevented  my  immediate  possession, 
yet  I  had  a  blessed  foretaste  of  them.  This  made 
me  desire  the  full  enjoyment  more  and  more.  1  ab- 
horred whatever  seemed  to  keep  n»e  from  it.  I 
sought  out  every  obstruction.  I  was  willing  lo  offer 
up  every  Isaac,  and  inflamed  with  great  ardour  in 
wrestling  with  God. Determined  not  to  let  him  go,till 
he  emptied  me  of  all  sin,  and  filled  me  with  liatiself. 

"  This  I  believe  he  did,  when  1  ventured  upon 
Jesus  as  sufficient  to  sa\e  to  the  uttermost.  Jle 
wrought  in  me  what  1  cannot  express,  what  1  judge 
it  is  impossible  to  utter.  Yet  1  was  not  long  with- 
out reasoning  :  not  concerning  the  work  ;  of  this  I 
was  absolutely  sure  :  but  whether  such  and  such 
things  as  I  soon  discovered  in  myself  were  consistent 
with  it.  And  this  had  its  use,  as  it  qualified  me  to 
advise  others,  who,  though  saved  from  sin,  were 
tried  in  the  same  way. 

♦'Cpon  this  head,  1  consulted  Mr.  Walsh,  and  his 
advice  helped  me  in  some  degree.  But  God  helped 
me  much  more  in  private  prayer;  herein  I  was  elear^ 
ly  satisfied — 1.  Tiiat  deliverance  from  sin  does  not 
imply  deliverance  from  human  infirmities,  ti.  That 
neither  is  it  inconsistent  with  feeling  our  natural 
appetites,  or  with  the  regular  gratification  of  them: 
and  3.  I'hat  salvation  from  sia  is  not  inconsistent 
with  temptations  of  various  kinds.  And  all  this  you 
Lave  clearly  and  fully  declared  in  the  ''Plain  account 
of  Christian  perfection.'* 

<»1  have  only  to  observe,  that  while  my  soul  was 
following  hard  after  God,  I  had  hequent  teu>p(a(ions 
to  resume  my  Latin,  and  learn  tlie  other  languages: 
especially  when  1  ubaerved  soiuc  of  my  brethren  who 


MR.   ALEXANDER   MATHER.  151 

had  Tiiaile  some  progress  therein,  thoiis;h  they  had 
not  the  same  advuritai^es  with  nie.  Bu(  the  roinlbrt 
I  found  in  spcndiDjj;  a'i  my  time  as  above,  and  the 
thoti.i^iit,  that  however  this  might  recomnjend  them 
to  some  hearers,  yel  they  were  not  hereby  more  in- 
strumental than  before,  either  in  awakening,  con- 
verting, or  hnihlifig  up  souls,  made  me  quite  easy 
abjut  it.  This  I  have  eonsidered  as  the  o!ily  busi- 
ness, and  peculiar  gh>ry  of  a  Methodist  preacher. — 
Not  that  I  think  our  brethren  who  have  made  this 
progress,  have  not  iieen  useful  in  all  these  respects; 
hut  1  think  they  are  not  more  useful  than  they  were 
when  tliey  were  strangers  to  these  things.  And  I 
doubt  wUedier  they  are  so  useful  as  ihe^  might  have 
been,  had  they  employed  the  same  time,  the  same 
diligence,  and  the  same  inlenseness  of  thought,  in 
the  several  branches  of  that  work,  for  which  they 
willingly  gave  up  all.  For  my  own  part,  I  want  to 
feel  the  same  principle  ever  actuating  me,  which  I 
felt  the  moment  I  set  out. 

"Upon  the  whole,  1  iind  abundant  cause  to  praise 
God  for  the  support  he  has  given  me  under  various 
trials,  and  tlie  wonderful  deliverance  from  them.  I 
praise  him  for  so  preserving  me  from  impatience  in 
tiicm,  that  the  enemy  had  no  room  to  speak  reproach- 
ful iy.  In  ail,  he  has  given  me  free  access  to  the 
throne  of  grace;  olten  with  a  strong  confidence  of 
deliverance.  1  bless  God,  that  IJic  trials  1  have  met 
with,  even  from  my  brethren,  have  never  given  me 
an  inriiitatioo  to  decline  the  work;  nor  for  any  time 
together,  to  be  less  active  in  any  branch  of  it.  I 
always  considered,  1  had  nothing  which  I  had  not 
received,  and  liiat  the  design  of  the  giver  was,  that 
ail  shouht  be  used  with  si;igleness  of  heart,  to  please 
God,  and  not  man.  1  prai>e  him,  that  though  some 
of  the  affairs  1  have  been  enga;;ed  in,  being  quite 
new  to  me,  ^o  deeply  employed  my  thought,  as  some- 
tiijics  »o  divert  me  from  ih.;i  degi^ee  of  communion 
wilh  God,  in  which  is  my  only  happiness,  and  with- 
out which  my  soul  tan  never  be  at  restj  ^et  he  gives 


15SJ  EXPERIENCE    Ot 

Kje  always  fo  sec,  tlmt  the  fiiiness  of  (lie  promise  is 
every  Cinisfian's  j^j'iviii'i^e,  aiwl  that  this  uiid  every 
hraneii  of  salvation  is  to  i»e  reeeived  now,  hy  fuilli 
iiluite.  Aiul  il  can  os)ly  be  retaitied  1)^  the  same 
means,  by  believinjj;  every  moment.  We  eannot  rest 
on  any  thiug  that  has  been  doae,  or  that  may  he  done 
hereufter.  Fhis  wonid  kecj)  us  from  iiviiij^- a  life  of 
faith,  which  I  conceive  to  he  no  tHiier,  than  the  now 
deriving  viriue  from  Jesus,  by  which  we  enjoy  and 
live  to  God.  My  soul  is  often  on  sU'e(cii  for  the  full 
e!jj<tyn»ent  of  tl.is,  without  interruptiotj;  nor  can  I 
discharge  my  conscience,  vvithimt  urging-  il  upon  ail 
believers,  now  io  conie  unto  iii.vi,  -ivho  is  able  to  save 
iinlo  the  uttermosl.'^' 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


^<^    ^M^'i^'^^ 


^Sl©®®i<. 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

^pril  20,  1779. 

Reverend  Sir, 

I  \VAS  born  at  Kexhorough,  a  Hftle  toAvn  in  the 
West-Riding  of  Yorkshire,  in  tlje  ye^*  t7i.3.  My 
father,  who  taught  a  scliool  in  the  town,  had  the  ex- 
ternal parts  of  religion  before  he  hefa-d  the  Metlsod- 
ists:  iie  used  family  and  private  prayer,  read  the 
scriptures,  atsd  other  books  of  devotion  in  hi-  fami- 
ly daily,  and  frequently  instructed,  exhorted,  and 
catechiseti  his  children,  liy  liiis  discipline  we  were 
restraiied  from  many  evils,  taught  the  fear  of  the 
L<»rd,  and,  in  some  measure,  to  seek  that  which  is 
ffood. 


MR.    BENJAMIN    UHODBS.  t5S 

Before  I  Mas  eleven  years  of  age,  I  went  with  my 
father  (o  Birsial,  to  heai-  Mr.  >Vliitel5eld.  I  fuund 
my  soul  deeply  affected  under  the  word.  At  first  I 
had  a  kind  of  terror,*  but  before  the  sermon  was  end- 
ed, my  heart  was  melted  into  tenderness,  and  sweet- 
ly drawn  after  God:  \ei  a  few  months  after  this,  a 
propensity  to  foolish  pleasures  sprang  up  iu  my 
breast,  and  drew  me  into  childish  vanities. 

About  twelve  years  of  age,  I  took  a  walk  one  even- 
ing into  a  large  thick  wood,  not  far  from  the  town. 
I  left  the  path,  and  wandered  in  the  thickest  part  of 
it,  till  1  was  entirely  lost.  Night  began  to  ehise  in 
upon  me,  and  I  did  not  know  which  way  to  turn  my 
face  lowards  home.  It  soon  became  quite  dark:  I 
then  gave  over  rambling,  and  intended  to  have  re- 
mained there  till  the  morning,  when  I  hoped  to  find 
my  way  out.  In  this  situation  I  found  my  former 
impressions  begin  to  return  with  much  sweetness. 
My  soul  was  drawn  out  in  prayer^  I  was  deeply  sen- 
sible of  the  presence  of  God;  my  heart  overflowed 
Avith  penitential  tenderness;  and  under  a  deep  sens© 
of  my  own  unworthiness,  and  of  his  goodness,  mer- 
cy, and  love,  I  sung  and  prayed  with  much  fervour; 
yea,  I  was  so  thankful  that  the  Lord  had  found  me, 
while  lost  in  a  wood,  that  I  would  not,  for  all  th« 
world,  have  missed  such  an  opportunity. 

My  parents  being  alarmed  at  ray  not  returning  at 
the  usual  time,  made  great  search  f<»r  ine.  At  last 
my  father  came  to  the  wood  side  and  called  aloud; 
I  soon  heard  him,  and  following  the  sound,  got  out 
about  midnight,  without  receiving  any  hurt. 

Tiie  impressions  1  received  this  night  lasted  for 
some  time:  but  youthful  pleasure  again  prevailed, 
and  drew  me  into  such  follies,  as  grieved  the  8pirit 
of  God,  and  greatly  damped  the  fervour  of  my  own 
spirits. 

1  was  chiefly  at  home  with  my  father  till  I  was 
sixteen  years  of  age,  and  mostly  attended  the  school. 
I  had  great  opportunities  of  inij)rovement,  both  in 
learning  and  religion;  but  nay  volatile  spirit  did  not 


154  EXPERIENOE    9F- 

love  study  and  confinement:  the  love  of  pleasure  pre- 
vailed over  my  iudgn>ent,  and  thoui^h  my  vain  en- 
joyments were  rendered  very  painful,  from  my  fa- 
ther's displeasure,  and  Ihe  terrors  of  my  conscience, 
yet  my  attachments  to  them  made  me  careless  about 
thinjijs  profitable,  and  prevented  such  an  improve- 
ment as  might  have  been  made. 

About  this  time,  my  father  put  me  out  to  leara 
some  branches  in  the  wool  and  worsted  business. — 
His  chief  motive  in  placing  me  where  he  did,  was, 
that  I  might  be  under  the  means  of  grace:  and 
th(»ugh  I  attended  the  prcach'ng  constantly,  heartily 
believed  the  doctrine,  and  often  felt  the  power  of  the 
A^  ord;  yet  1  ~>vas  so  much  taken  up  with  pleasure, 
and  those  companions,  who  led  me  froni  seriousness 
and  relig-ion,  that  at  last,  as  wiih  a  flood,  I  was  car- 
ried away;  not  in<leed  into  gross  sins,  (for  I  do  not 
remember  that  1  ever  swore  an  oath,  or  took  God's 
name  into  my  mouth  upon  a  light  occasion)  but  into 
foolish  company,  gaiety,  and  youthful  vanities.  But 
in  my  foolish  career,  I  was  like  the  troubled  sea:  the 
more  I  sought  to  please  myself  in  vanity,  the  further 
I  was  from  it:  and  sometimes  my  conscience  terri- 
fied me  almost  to  distraction,  so  that  I  have  been 
afraid  to  sleep,  lest  1  should  awake  in  endless  mise- 
ry. All  tliis  time  my  understanding  was  clearly  in- 
formed respecting  the  nature  and  the  necessity  of 
religion,  and  I  felt  great  reverence  for  it.  None  can 
tell  the  struggles  1  had  in  my  breast,  between  my 
conscience  and  my  inclinations:  sometimes  one,  and 
sometimes  the  other,  was  obeyed.  I  knew  I  could 
not  be  truly  religious  without  parting  with  all  that 
is  contrary  to  seriousness,  and  without  having  the 
bent  of  my  mind  turned  from  vanity  to  God.  Nei-r 
ther  did  I  make  any  pretentions  to  it,  as  I  had  not  a 
fixed  determination  to  forsake  all  and  follow  Christ. 

When  I  was  about  nineteen,  1  thought  myself  most 
miserable.  I  was  quite  sick  of  vanity,  and  so  har- 
dened with  a  sense  of  it  on  my  conscience,  that  I 
could  not  find  rest  day  nor  night.     1  then  began  to 


MR.    BENJAMIV    RH08ES.  155 

think  on  the  morcy  and  e:oodness  of  God,  which  had 
been  so  abundantly  made  raanifesl  to  me  in  times 
past,  but  my  lollies  so  reju-oai'ihed  me,  that  I  was 
a!)hamed  lo  look  up.  1  «hen  found  a  willingness  to 
be  saved  in  G<»d's  way,  and  groaning  in  my  bondage, 
prayed.  •»  Turn  thou  me,  O  Lord,  and  I  shall  be  turn- 
ed." The  Lord  heard,  and  turned  Ihe  whoie  desire 
of  my  hear(  from  every  thing  earthly,  unto  himself, 
it  was  then  I  found  such  relentings  of  soul«  as  I  had 
not  done  before.  Nothing  affecieil  me  more  than  a 
sense  of  God's  l<mg  suffering,  mercy,  and  goodness: 
that  after  1  had  so  often  refused  his  calls,  quenched 
his  spirit,  and  abused  his  blessings,  yet  I  no  sooueu 
erie«l  to  him,  than  he  heard,  and  delivered  me  from 
the  servitude  of  sin,  and  encouraged  me  to  hope  in 
his  mercy.  My  whole  heart  was  then  given  up  t© 
him.  Prayer  was  now  ray  chief  business,  aud  1  of- 
ten sung,  very  feelingly, 

"Wealth  and  honour  I  disdain, 

"Earthly  comforts  uU  are  vain;  ' 

"These  can  never  satisfy; 

"Give  me  Chiist,  or  else  I  die." 

In  this  state  I  continued  several  months,  desiring 
and  seeking  God  alone,  without  much  interruption 
or  temptation.  About  this  time  I  was  invited  to  a 
private  meeting  among  the  Calvinists.  The  minis- 
ter spoke  much  of  the  power  of  imagination,  and 
what  a  deluded  people  the  Methodists  were,  and 
warnefl  bis  flock  not  to  come  near  them.  I  was 
greatly  bewildered  and  terrified  at  this.  I  began  to 
suspect  that  my  call  to  religion,  and  the  change  in 
my  mind,  were  only  delusions.  I  was  also  tempted 
to  thmk,  that  all  who  professed  religion,  were  like 
myself.  1  was  carried  so  far  as  to  doubt  of  Chris- 
tianity, and  of  the  being  of  a  God!  i  thought  the 
greatest  part  of  the  world  consisted  of  Heathens, 
Mulujmetuns,  and  Jews;  the  Popish  religion  is  al- 
most as  idolatrous  as  the  Pagan;  tliA'c  are  Imt  few 
Protestant  Christians,  and  but  very  few  of  these  who 
act  consistei^t  with  the  doelrinos  of  Christianity. — 


156  BXPERIENOE    01 

These  thoughts  increased  my  infi'Ielity,  till  T  was  al- 
most (li^t(ra('lc(l.  Daiknessand  horror  sat  brooding 
upon  my  iiiind,  tofjelher  whU  a  ^'woniy  '<"^"'  "f  'ail- 
ing; into  nothing,  or  worse  than  nothing,  at  death.— 
I  hated  lilV,  and  ih(Mi2;li  teiuofed,  yet  afraid  to  ven- 
ture <.n  dtalh.  I  had  no  power  to  pray;  I  only  wish- 
ed for  a  dark  retreat,  where  i  mi^hl  converse  with 
darkness  and  lui^er^  alone. 

In  this  ••horrible  pit"  I  groaned  for  deliverance, 
yet  was  not  sensihl**  of  h  deliverer  near.  At  last  1 
found  power  to  lo(>k  up,  my  heart  bei^an  to  melt, 
and  the  spirit  of  prayer  returned:  1  <Tied,  and  the 
Lord  heard.  The  darkness  hej^an  to  disperse:  hope 
a;;>;ain  visited  my  soul,*  yea,  U  increased,  attended 
with  a  tiegree  of  confidence  in  God,  till  the  Son  of 
Rijjjhteousness  arose  with  hea!iti|;  in  his  wings.  I 
belield  the  Land)  of  God,  who  takeih  away  the  sins 
of  the  worhl,  and  had  such  a  sense  of  the  suliieiencj 
of  his  atonemeiit,  as  I  had  not  had  before,  with  a 
conviction  (hat  I  was  inf crested  therein.  All  my 
fears  ai.d  doubts  disapiieared;  I  found  the  peace  of 
God:  his  love  Mas  uranifesied  to  me,  which  caused 
me  to  love  him  again.  Joy  and  gratitude  now  so 
possessed  my  heart,  that  my  cup  was  ready  to  run 
over;  and  my  soul  being  freeti  from  all  its  bondage, 
said,  God  is  become  my  salvation.  Now  my  infidel 
fears  were  gone,  and  the  truths  of  Christ ianily^ap- 
ajipeared  to  me  in  the  clearest  ligiit.  Not  only  my 
understanding  saw,  but  all  my  powers  felt,  the  truth 
thereof.  J  had  a  deep  sense  of  a  present  God,  w  hum 
I  approached  in  the  name  of  Jesus,  with  revfrential 
awe.  confidc'ice,  gratitude,  and  love:  and  couid  call 
him,  my  G<'d,  and  my  all. 

Ju  this  happy  season,  my  joy  frequently  prevented 
toy  sleep  while  my  soul  was  taken  up  wi(h  him, 
who  is  aiioi^etlief  lovely;  anil  in  extacies  of  jo\,  in 
the  SI  illness  t»f  ihe  night,  1  often  sung  my  Great 
Ddivercr*  ;  • '.  All  ihmgs  ea.  thly  appeare*'  ■^o 
empt' ,  shut  i  iSiought  nothijig  iiere  '>elow  worih  a 
thou^ht^  only  us  it  tended  to  proiitoie  my  eteruaf 


MR.    BENJAMIN'    RHODES.  157 

interest:  I  only  desire<l  grace  and  glory.  I  then  be- 
gan to  concliule,  that  my  adversaries  were  quite 
overthrown,  and  that  I  had  only  to  march  (orward, 
and  take  possession  of  the  "Land  of  Promise."  I 
therefore  pressed  forward  rcjoit-ing  for  some  montlis. 
At  length,  through  un watchfulness,  and  giving  way 
to  levity,  my  comlorts  gradually  diminished,  till,  im- 
pereeptihly,  I  was  again  drawn  into  a  wilderness- 
state;  and  though  I  was  diligent  in  the  outward 
means,  yet  1  had  lost  the  pleasing  sensations  which 
I  had  formerly  found  therein. 

About  this  time  I  was  strongly  beset  with  some 
Calvinists,  who  used  all  the  arguments  in  their  pow- 
er to  draw  me  into  the  belief  of  their  doctrines.  I 
was  almost  persuaded  to  believe  "final  persever- 
ance," only  I  did  not  see  how  I  could  separate  it 
from  reprobation.  I  wished  to  do  it,  but  couhl  not. 
I  thought,  if  these  must  necessarily  l)e  saved,  on 
whom  God  begins  a  good  work,  then  the  rest  must 
as  necessarily  be  damued,  on  whom  he  does  not  be- 
gin it.  When  1  considered  Jinal  perseverance,  as  it 
related  to  niyself  only,  it  appeared  so  pleasant,  that 
I  hardly  could  resist  it:  but  when  1  considered  it  as 
a  branch  of  the  doctrines  of  uncondilional  ejection 
and  reprobation,  it  gave  me  pain,  and  inclined  me  to 
renounce  it.  Reprubtitionai>peared  to  me  quite  con- 
trary to  the  whole  purport  of  scripture — tlie  nature 
of  a  holy,  just,  and  merciful  G  >d — (he  state  of  man 
as  an  accountable  creature — and  to  a  future  judg- 
ment, where  rewards  and  punishments  will  be  dis- 
pensed to  every  man  according  to  his  works.  How- 
ever, my  lot  being  cuat  among  those  who  held  the 
decrees,  I  frequently  heard  the  chief  arguments  that 
are  used  in  support  thereof.  Sometimes  their  ar- 
gumoita  appeared  so  jdausible,liial  I  began  to  stag- 
ger in  my  suiud.  and  to  l»e  inueh  distressed:  I  then 
ma(ai  it  a  subjett  of  prayer,  and  one  uight,  after  I 
had  beea  wrettliug  wiJh  God,  thai  he  would  lead 
use  into  ali  truth,  1  dre.i<uert  oi  rvUiuri,'  a  passage  of 
5C1  liJiuro,  whicii  gave  uie  entire  saiisiaction.  1  oould 


J  58  EXPERIENeE    OF 

not  remember  the  passage  in  the  morning;  but  on 
opening  my  bible,  the  first  words  I  vast  m\  e^es  upon 
were:  "The  Lord  is  not  slaek  oncernifig  Ins  pro- 
mises, as  some  men  count  slackness;  but  is  b>ng  suf- 
fering to  us  ward,  not  willing  that  any  should  perish, 
but  that  all  shouhl  come  to  repentance." — 2  Pet.  iii. 
9.  Such  light  and  conviction  attended  the  W(»rds, 
as  removed  every  doubt  of  God's  loving  all  man- 
kind, and  from  that  day  to  this,  my  mind  has  been 
established  in  the  comfortable  doctrines  of  general 
redem])<ion. 

But  lliough  I  was  fixed  as  to  doctrines,  vet  I  did 
not  find,  as  iormerJy,  sueJi  u  svrcet  intei'conrse  witJi 
heaven;  ai!<i  foolish  desires  ?}pgan  to  arise  again, 
which  formerly  seeuicd  to  be  dead.  I  had  also  very 
powerful  temptations,  and  earJhIy  attachments  pre- 
vailed too  far  upon  my  alTcctions.  Yet  tf»e  hand  of 
the  Lord  was  over  me  for  gi«;d,  und  preserved  me 
from  the  dangers  to  which  I  was  exposed 

When  I  WHS  aljout  the  age  «f  twenty-one,  I  heard 
Mr.  Jaco  preach  ou  lieb.  xii.  1.  He  insisted  on  (he 
necessity  of  lav fng  aside  every  weight,  and  the  sin 
which  so  easily  besets  us,  in  orck'r  to  our  running 
the  Christian  race:  1  saw  the  necessity  of  it,  and 
was  again  stirred  up,  and  the  Lord  once  more  set 
mc  at  liberty  irom  every  enlauglement.  In  a  short 
time  my  former  comforts  returned  wiili  more  soli- 
dity, and  my  understanding  was  abundantly  matured 
in  the  knowledge  of  the  Christian  warfare. 

About  this  tiix.e  I  was  desired  to  lead  several  class- 
es. I  found  these  meetings  were  both  solemn  and 
profitable  to  myself  and  others.  The  first  (juarter, 
several  foun<}  a  sense  of  forgiveness,  and  others  were  • 
greatly  stirred  up.  J  was  also  desired  to  speak  a 
word  of  exportation,  this  also  I  complied  with.  I 
now  soon  found  work  enough,  as  many  came  to  hear 
what  I  had  got  to  say.  Indeed  1  have  ofleu  stood 
up  to  speak  to  a  large  congregation,  when  I  would 
rather  Jiavc  undergone  almost  any  punishment.-— 
However,  the  Lord  gave  me  strength  aecordijig  to 


MR.    BENJAMIN    RHODES.  159 

my  day:  for  when  I  hare  bej^un  to  speak,  ray  feat* 
ami  (rembls.i^  were  quite  raken  away,  and  J  frequent- 
ly fouiid  much  freedom  in  speaki?!?^:  and  I  have  rea- 
son to  believe  tbat  the  Lord  rendered  my  weak  la- 
bours useful;  forsdme  were  turned  from  their  wick- 
edness to  (rod,  some  converted,  and  many  stirred  up 
to  press  forward. 

On  a  sabbath,  I  usually  preached  at  several  ncigh- 
bouri}>j>-  towns,  and  sometimes  visited  them  oa  the 
week  days. 

As  the  conference  drew  near,  Mr.  Jiico  asked  me 
if  1  was  williiJi^  to  travel,  suppose  there  should  be  a 
want  of  preachers?  I  found  miich  reluclaney  to  this, 
arising  from  a  sense  of  my  insuffieii'ncy;  and  I  had 
such  a  love  to  the  people  where  I  was,  that  the 
tjiouf^ht  of  leaving  them  gave  me  great  pain;  yet  I 
desired  not  (o  be  governed  by  my  own  inclination; 
but  by  the  providence  of  God. 

At  the  conference  held  at  Leeds,  1766,  I  was  de- 
sired to  take  a  circuit,  te  which  I  consented.  I  set 
out  in  the  twenty-third  year  of  my  age,  and  went 
into  the  ]?Vorw!ch  circuit,  where  I  staid  two  years. 
The  Lord  was  pleased  to  own  my  peor  labours  here 
in  the  conviction  and  conversion  of  several  souls. 

At  the  conference  in  London,  1767,  1  was  taken 
into  full  connection.  My  second  circuit  was  in  Ox- 
fordsliire,  where  I  stayed  two  years.  In  that  time 
the  work  of  the  Lord  was  enlarged  abundantly. 

My  next  remove  was  to  Canterbury,  where  I  stay- 
ed one  year.     While   E   was  bere,  ray  father  died: 
japince  then  i  bave  been  much  in  the  north,  to  be  near 
my  mother  and  sisters. 

My  next  remove  was  into  Lincolnshire,  where  I 
stayed  two  years  among  a  poor  people,  who  received 
t'ne  word  gladly.  We  got  info  some  new  places,  and 
In  other  respects,  God  gave  me  some  fruit  of  my  la- 
bours. From  hence  i  went  to  Ilull  and  Scarbo- 
rough, where  I  sia,>ed  three  jears.  Here  we  raised 
several  new  societies,  and  m  several  parts  of  the  cir- 
cuit the  work  prospered. 


160  EXPERIENCE,  &C-. 

I  next  went  to  Newcaslle-upon-Tyne,  where  1 
stayed  only  one  year.  Here  I  had  many  pr*  fi«ahle 
oj>p(;rtunities.  p.vt^  had  also  (lie  pleasure  of  seeing 
sou)e  fruiis  of  my  labours.  From  hence  1  went  to 
Alnwiek  aid  Donhar,  where  1  laboured  one  year.  I 
Lad  mueh  riding;  here,  but  heine;  anionest  a  people 
whtni  ]  loved,  and  wi(h  whom  I  laboured  comforta* 
)L)ly,  I  thought  little  of  fatij^ues. 

1  am  now  in  Sussex  and  Kent.  Since  I  came  into 
these  parts,  I  have  lost  a  sister  and  njother,  who.  I 
helie^e.are  both  gone  after  my  father  into  Abraham's 
bosom:  but  I  an;  left  behind,  aluiost  (he  only  person 
out  of  a  large  fantily.  Bui  how  Ions:  or  how  short 
my  day  may  be.  I  leave  to  unerring  wisdom:  one  only 
contern  ought  to  possess  me,  to  employ  it  as  I 
ought:  then  at  the  close  of  it,  J  a^so  shall  sleep  in 
peace;  arKl  after  a  short  absence,  be  with  my  dear 
departed  friends,' 

"Thrice  happy  meeting! 
"Nor  time,  nor  death,  shall  ever  part  us  more." 

I  am  thankful  to  Gwl  that  he  ever  called  me  to 
ibis  blessed  work;  as  by  this  means  1  have  gained 
more  strength  to  my  own  soul;  have  been  of  some 
use  to  my  fellow  creatures;  have  had  an  opportunity 
of  knowing  a  little  of  the  world,  and  of  the  state  of 
religion  amongst  the  Methodists  and  others:  all 
which  I  judged  to  be  more  than  a  reward  for  what! 
have  done  and  suffered. 

At  present,  there  is  nothing  so  precious  to  me  as 
religion  and  the  cause  of  God,  and  my  principal  de- 
sign is  to  fill  up  my  little  sphere,  that  when  I  ana 
called  to  give  an  account,  I  may  do  it  with  joy,  ami 
not  with  sorrow. 
I  am. 

Reverend  sir. 
Your  affectionate  son  in  the  gospel, 
BENJAMIN  llilODKS. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

July  1,  1779, 
Reverend  and  dear  Sir, 

I  WAS  born  in  London,  in  the  year  1741.  My 
father  came  from  Norfolk,  and  my  motlicr  from 
Cambridgeshire.  They  were  very  honest  and  well- 
meaning  persons,  and  constantly  attended  the  service 
of  the  church,  but  I  fear,  never  knew  the  power  of 
religion.  Shortly  after  they  came  to  London,  they 
saw  Mr.  Whitefield  preaching  to  a  great  multitude 
in  Moorfieids.  As  they  had  never  seen,  or  heard  of 
him  before,  they  slarcd  with  great  astonishment. — 
"What  he  said  made  some  impression  on  them,  and 
they  frequently  heard  him,  till  he  left  England:  but 
when  he  went  to  Georgia,  they  were  at  a  loss  what 
to  do,  till  one  told  them  they  might  hear  the  same 
kind  of  preaching  ai  the  Foundry:  my  father  went, 
and  heard  you.  Sir;  but  the  first  time  he  did  not  un- 
derstand it,  but  after  a  while,  he  understood  you 
very  well;  and  bmh  he  and  my  motl»er  were  truly 
awakened.  Presently  after  they  were  admitted  into 
the  society,  which  they  counted  a  very  great  privi- 
lege, and  continued  therein,  serving  God  and  his 
people  as  long  as  they  lived. 

As  to  myself,  1  had  convictions  of  sin  froiri  my 
childhood.  But  as  1  grew  up,  I  endeavoured  to  get 
rid  of  them,  which  was  partly  effected:  but  I  could 
not  shake  off  the  fear  of  death.  I  sometimes  tried 
to  comlort  myself  with  tiie  thought,  that  death  was 
only  my  common  lot  among  the  rest  of  mankind; 
14  * 


JtJ3  EXPERIENCE    OF 

but  if  I  apprehended  it  near,  I  was  terrified  beyond 
expression.  One  Sabbath  afternoon,  when  I  had 
sauntered  up  and  down  St.  James's  Park,  I  went  into 
"NVestminster  Abbey,  not  for  devotion,  but  to  pass 
away  time.  I  had  not  been  there  lonj;  befor  •  I  was 
struck  with  an  horrible  dread!  my  sins  were  set  in 
array  against  hie!  I  liastened  our  of  the  church,  but 
did  not  expect  to  get  home  alive.  I  seemed  ready 
to  expire,  and  was,  to  my  own  apprehension, 

"Condemn'd  the  second  death  to  feel, 
"Arrested  by  the  pains  of  hell!" 

[  eried  to  the  Lord  in  an  agony  of  fear,  who  heard 
me  from  bis  holy  place,  and  came  to  my  deliverance. 
My  dread  and  horror  were  in  a  measure  removed, 
and  I  resolved  never  more  to  spend  any  part  of  the 
Sabbath  in  merely  seeking  my  own  pleasure. 

When  I  was  about  fourteen  years  of  a^e.  my  fa- 
ther put  me  out  to  a  person  who  feared  God:  while 
I  was  with  him,  I  had  frequent  visitations  from  God, 
and  fell  the  drawings  of  his  blessed  spirit,  though  I 
too  of<en  resisted  them.  However,  I  became  more 
serious,  which  was  increased  by  two  severe  fits  of 
illness.  Before  this,  I  had  been  exceedingly  fond  of 
going  to  plays,  yet  never  went  without  a  dread  upon 
my  spirits.  When  I  was  there,  I  always  seemed  as 
one  treading  on  forbidden  ground,  and  particularly, 
one  night,  when  two  persons  were  trampled  to  death, 
in  crouding  up  the  same  passage  which  I  had  but 
just  before  got  up. 

I"^lso  took  great  delight  in  reading  plays,  fop 
which  purpose  I  collected  a  number  of  the  best  I 
eould  meet  with,  and  often  pleaed  myself  and  ray 
companions  with  the  repetition  of  some  of  the  most 
striking  passages  in  them.  But  I  found  nothing  of 
this  kind  could  give  me  any  real  happiness,  and  was 
constrained  to  say,  'this  also  is  vanity!'  it  will  not 
satisfy  an  immortal  spirit;  it  will  not  ease  si  wound- 
ed mind!  At  last,  from  a  full  conviction  of  this,  I 
committed  all  my  plays  to  the  flames,  and  determin- 
ed to  spend  my  leisure  hours  in  reading  more  profi- 


MR,    THOMAS    TENNANT.  163 

table  books.  I  Uierefore  read  your  *»  Appeal  to  Men 
of  Reason  and  Rclie^ion."  Avidi  imich  satisfaction. 
Yet  on  reading;  the  former  part  of  your  sermon,  en- 
titled, "The  Almost  Christian,"  I  was  quite  distress- 
ed, and  ready  to  give  up  all  hope.  1  thoui^ht  this 
(tlmost  Christian  to  leave'*hie  so  far  behind,  that  to 
be  quite  a  Christian  seems  impossible  to  me.  P»\\t 
when  I  had  turned  over  tlie  next  leaf,  and  saw  what 
was  necessary  to  make  me  a  true  Christian,  viz: 
<*The  love  of  God,"  my  heart  was  softened,  and  nij 
liopes  revived.  I  said,  ''this  is  religion,  this  is  Chris- 
tianity indeed!  and  tliis,  liOrd,  is  the  very  thing  I 
want!  O  give  me  this  love,  and  1  shall  be  satisfied, 
and  all  within  me  shall  bless  thy  name!" 

Frequently,  when  I  have  hcaid  you  preach,  I 
thought  you  appeared  as  with  a  sword  drawn  in  your 
hand,  with  which  you  cleft  me  asun  ler.  At  such 
times,  the  word  was  indeed  quick  and  powerful, 
piercing  and  wonnding  my  inmost  soul;  it  was  indeed 
a  diseerner  of  the  thoughts  and  intents  of  my  heart; 
but  it  still  left  me  without  comfort  to  bewail  my 
wretched  condition.  Thus  I  went  on,  till  my  bur- 
then grew  too  heavy  to  be  borne.  I  mourned  all  the 
day  long.  My  distress  was  very  great,  and  I  wanted 
to  speak  to^some  experienced  person;  but  being  na- 
turally very  close  and  reserved,  I  eould  not  break 
through.  I  was  glad  indeed  when  one  asked  me  to 
go  to  a  meeting  of  Christian  friends;  but  when  I 
came  to  tlie  door,  and  heard  them  singing,  I  had 
such  an  idea  both  of  their  goodness,  and  of  my  own 
unworthiness,  that  I  durst  not  presume  to  go  in: 
therefore  I  walked  back  again  with  a  heavy  heart. 

Some  time  after  this  I  joined  the  society,  but  for 
a  long  time  durst  not  venture  to  go  to  the  Lord's  ta- 
ble. One  Sabbath  I  was  determined  to  go,  but  when 
I  approached  my  heart  failed  me,  and  I  went  back 
without  receiving;  but,  through  the  distress  of  my 
mind,  my  legs  were  scarce  able  to  support  me,  and 
being  filled  with  fear,  guilt,  and  shame,  I  trembled 
exceedingly;  however,  at  last,  as  a  poor,  weary,  hea- 


164  EXPERIENCE    OF 

Yy  laden  sinner,  wlioha??  nothing^  <o  p^eafK  huf  "God 
he  mc-i'ciiiil  to  lue  fVu*  Christ^  sake.'  J  ventured  to 
eat  of  that  br('a«l,  a'lcl  siriiik  uf  that  eui>.  Just  l)e- 
f o  e  I  came  up  to  fhe  ta!)!e,  tiiese  words  were  dee|)Iy 
inipj'essed  ujioti  my  mind, 

"Covered  witli  thy  blood  we  are, 
"Find  a  part  that  does  not  arm, 
"And  strike  the  sinner  there." 

This  inspired  me  with  such  courage,  that  I  kneel- 
ed downwith  a  sfronj^  liope  that  I  should  not  be  a 
victim  to  God's  justif»e,  hut  a  monument  of  his  mer- 
cy; and  Avheo  Dr.  J.  gave  me  the  bread  and  wine,  I 
was  enabled  to  believe  that  ('hrist  died  for  me,  and 
was  filled  with  peace  in  the  Holy  Ghost.  I  rose 
from  (lie  table  with  a  glad  heart,  greatly  rejoicing 
in  God  my  Saviour. 

After  this  I  walked  in  the  l<tviqg  fear  of  the  Lord, 
and  in  the  comforts  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  I  found 
great  sweetness  in  the  word;  yea,  and  in  all  the  other 
means  of  grace.  Indeed,  some  of  tlie  most  delight- 
ful moments  of  my  whole  life  were  spent  in  waiting 
lipon  God  in  his  ordinances.  1  enjoyed  great  tran- 
quility of  spirit,  being  delivered  from  my  guilty, 
tormenting  fears  of  dcatli  and  hell.  When  I  laid  my 
body  down  to  rest,  I  could  repose  my  soul  as  on  the 
bosom  of  Jesus,  and  say, 

"What  if  death  my  sleep  invade! 
"Shall  1  be  of  death  afraid? 
"Whilst  encircled  by  th.ine  arm, 
"Death  may  strike,  but  cannot  harm. 
"What  if  beams  of  op'ning  day 
**SJmie  around  my  br'^athlesa  clay, 
"Brighter  %isions  from  on  high, 
"Shall  regale  my  mental  eye." 

Meantime  I  found  an  earnest  desire  to  live  to  the 
glory  of  God,  together  with  rau«h  love  to  precious 
souls.  And  hence  1  found  a  desire  of  preaching;  on 
mentioning  which.  I  was  desired  to  go  with  a  friend, 

'  1  occasional!}  exiiorted  a  few  people  at  a  house 
3t.  G^jrge'e  Frdds.     At  tiis  request,  I  ventured 


who 
in  St 


MR.    THOMAS    TENNANT.  165 

to  Speak  a  few  words  to  (hem,  and  found  freedom  of 
spii'if. 

About  this  time  T  had  a  c^reat  desire  t<»  (ravel  with 
YOU.  Sii'.  Wheri  you  was  informed  of  it,  >ou  was  so 
kind  as  to  conseni  to  it:  Si>  I  had  tJie  i)!easure  <»f  ac- 
eomj)an\ini?  you  from  Mareh  1770,  .to  Ausjust  fol- 
lowina,'.  when  I  was  admitted  on  trial  a«  a  travelling 
preacher,  and  appointed  for  the  N>'weasl!e  circuit. 

I  helieve  very  few,  if  any,  of  our  pi'eachers,  set 
out  with  so  little  eourae;e:  ihe  depression  y>f  spirit  I 
lahoured  under  was  nearly  insiipporial.le,  and  i^  it 
bad  not  been  for  the  aiFej'tion  and  tenderness  of  my 
good  friend  Mr.  Jaco,  who  was  at  that  time  the  as- 
sistant, I  must  have  sunk  under  the  ourdet).  I'he 
lovinj*.  sensible  jK'ople  I  laboured  among,  were  also 
very  kind  to  me.  and  bore  with  me,  thou;j;b  I  was 
with  them  in  weakness,  fear,  and  much  trembling. 

The  next  conference  I  was  senJ  into  Lincolnshire, 
where  I  met  with  many  trials,  having  both  the  in- 
ward and  outward  cross  to  bear.  Afterwards  I  was 
near  a  >ear  among  the  por-r  loving  people  at  Col- 
chester, and  1  hope  my  labour  was  not  in  vain. 

From  thence  I  went  to  Bradforth  in  Yorkshire, 
and  the  year  following,  to  Newcastle  again.  I  bad 
now  a  little  nioje  courage  than  when  I  was  there  be- 
fore; and  I  trust,  was  more  useful  to  the  people:  and 
from  that  time  I  have  travelled  with  more  satisfac- 
tion than  ever  I  did  before. 

At  present  I  find  a  thankful  heart  for  the  mercies 
of  a  gracious  God,  and  desire  to  devote  myself  un- 
reservedly to  his  service.  Indeed  it  is  comfortable 
to  iiie  to  reflect,  that  God  is  love;  that  he  was  in 
Christ  reconciling  the  world  unto  himself;  that 
Christ  Jesus  gave  himself  a  ransom  for  all;  that  he 
tasted  death  for  every  man;  that  he  is  the  propitia- 
tion for  the  sins  of  the  whole  world;  and  I  have  often 
■wondered  how  any  man  of  sense,  who  has  tasted  that 
the  Lord  is  gracious,  can  use  arguments  in  opposi- 
tion to  this.  But  as  to  the  dispute  concerning  these 
points,  I  very  seldom  mention  it  in  public;  never, 


166  EXPERIENCE    OF 

unless  my  subjeet  natupa^iv  leads  io  if:  and  eve^ 
ti.en.  I  do  it  in  as  few.  and  as.calni  \v(»r(U  as  possi 
bli ,  for  1  am  qui^e  e<invinced,  that  allsou^^and  exola- 
morions  atid  asserHon^,  be  ihoy  ever  so  veliemently 
deihered.  will  not  amount  tq^uie  argument  on  eitljer 
side  the  question.     Bui  what  I  wii^ii  above  all  thins^s 
is,  that  I  nj5iy  increase  in  the  iuiov/ledjijeand  love  of 
God,  and  l>e  more  holy,  happy,  and  useful,  everyday 
of  VA\  life.     T<.ievertheless,  I  am  truly  thankful  for, 
a!)d  {jrofi^ed  by.  the  superior  lulctils  and  laboui-s  of 
any  of  niv  bretlireu.  avIio  are  more  particularly  call- 
ed to  explain  aixi  tlefeud  these  glorious  truths  which 
I  have  always  believed. 

Upon  the  whole,  as  far  as  I  know  myself,  1  love 
the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity;  and  if  he  is  pleas- 
ed to  continue  to  use,  in  any  degree,  me,  his  weak, 
unworthy  creature,  I  shall  be  unfeignedly  thankful, 
and  hope  to  give  him  all  the  praise  in  time  and 
eternity. 

I  am,  reverend  and  dear  Sir,  as  ever, 
Your  dutiful  son  and  servant, 

THOMAS  TENNANT, 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  3 OHN  WESLEY. 

Aug  vat  18,  1779. 
Reverend  and  dear  Sir, 

ACCORDING  to  your  desire.  I  take  the  oppor- 
tunity to  write  a  little  of  the  dealmgs  of  God  with 
me.  but  as  1  have  not  kept  an  account  in  writing, 
many  things  have  slipped  my  mind. 

I  was  born  in  Northumberland,  at  a  little  village 
near  Piacey,  in  the  year  172S.     1  was  put  to  school 


.nn.  WILLIAM  HUNTEn.  16r 

early,  and  tau!i:»if  «!i  tcait  (he  scrriptures  from  a  child: 
but  <J(  iii^hfed  most  in  ilie  hishifH-a!  pacis  of  Hjoin. 
I  felt  a  <!ei^ree  of  the  fear  of  God  when  vevy  vouMg, 
and  swoef  drawings  of  love  Buf  soinelif'i.'s  tlie 
thoiigliis  of  dt-atii  wcic  very  drfadful  to  me.  so  t'lat 
1  felt  very  unha^jpy,  I  oneedreained  (hat  Satan  came 
to  me,  and  would  have  me:  when  I  awaked,  I  was 
full  of  fear,  and  prayed  niueh  (hat  I  iiiight  l)e  deli- 
vered fi^tt^  hiui:  and  Hie  impressions  ahode  upon  my 
mind  for  many  days:  hut  as  I  had  nob^d^*  to  leaeU 
me  J  lie  rii;hf  way  of  eotnio!;;  fo  Christ,  these  good 
iinpres'ions  t^raduaUy  wove  olf. 

\\  hen  I  was  ahou(  fourteen,  my  father  heingj  a  far- 
mer, I  was  put  to  learn  all  (he  braoche^  of  farming*. 
My  father  was  very  severe  with  me,  aod  1  drea<!ed 
him  vQt^y  much:  and  vet  I  was  orften  ii^nilty  of  much 
disohedicnce  at^ainst  him,  for  whieh  I  have  beett 
much  abhanied  heCure  (he  Lord. 

The  iirs(  (ime  von  ^aine  to  Plaeey,  1,  wj(h  seve- 
ral of  \n\  faiber's  faruily,  came  to  liear  you:  some 
of  my  brotJiers  were  much  taken  with  you,  and,  1 
trust,  will  have  cause  to  l)less  ilod  for  it  foi-ever. 

When  I  was  abou(  sixteen,  I  heard  Air.  Hopper; 
as  soon  as  be  besi;an  to  speak,  his  words  affetUed  me 
deeply,  not  \vjlh  terror,  but  with  love.  1  had  a  (aste 
of  heaven:  it  seemed  as  thouj^it  1  was  created  anew: 
there  was  a  wouderfijl  ehanj^e  in  my  tempers  and 
conduct;  i  laid  asi<!e  every  tbiogtliatl  thought  was 
contrary  to  the  Avill  of  God,  asui  |»raetiscd  all  reli- 
gious duties,  i  attended  preaching  on  all  occasions, 
^and  felt  much  sweetness  therein,  and  love  to  those 
kthat  I  believe  were  devoted  to  God. 

1  wetit  on  in  this  way  for  some  time,  till  my  eom- 
rauioi.s  be.«,an  to  take  notice  of  me,  and  eail  me  a 

letiiodfst.  8t:me  of  (hem  set  upon  me  one  Sabbath, 

d  cursed  and  swore  ijitterly  at  me,  telling  me  I 
was  goiiv^  to  leave  (he  church,  and  the  religion  I 
was  biought  up  in.  This  had  a  strange  eftect  iij)on 
Kie:  I  gave  way  to  theui:  they  prevailed  upon  -ue  to 
fio  to  the  aic-house:  tiiere  i  was  ovcilakeu  iu  u\'  old 


163  JiXTERISNCE    OH 

sins  again.  The  spirit  oT  tlie  Lord  departed  from 
me:  my  heart  became  as  hard  as  a  slone.  Darkness 
covered  \uy  mind  af»ain,Hnd  1  was  as  senseless  lo  the 
thiuj^s  ol  God,  as  ilunigh  I  had  never  known  any 
thin.^  at  all  about  them. 

1  went  on  in  this  wretched  state  many  months,  liv- 
ing; totally  without  God  in  the  world.  Through  the 
advice  of  a  younjj;  man,  I  went  to  hear  preaching 
again.  A  great  light  was  communicated  to  my  un- 
derstanding by  the  word,  and  it  pierced  my  consci- 
ence like  a  sword.  1  felt  my  inmost  parts  to  be  very 
>vickedness;  all  the  sins  of  my  life  stared  me  in  tiie 
face,  and  lay  as  a  heavy  burden  upon  my  conscience. 
I  roared  for  disquietness  of  heart,  and  wept  and  made 
supplication.  1  was  convinced  J  could  not  help  my- 
self; that  1  could  not  do  any  thing  to  reconcile  my- 
self to  God,  and  I  had  nrany  fears  lest  the  day  of 
grace  was  past.  Oh,  the  distress  of  soul  1  went 
through  for  many  months!  it  was  as  though  1  had 
been  forsaken  of  God,  and  hell  was  already  begun 
in  me.  But  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  give  me  power 
over  sin.  I  forsook  e\cvy  sinful  way,  arid  all  my 
sinful  companions.  1  sought  the  Lord  with  all  my 
heart  in  all  the  means  oi'  grace.  1  attended  preach- 
ing on  all  occasions,  and  read  the  scripiures  with 
great  diligence;  theway  of  salvation,  revealed  tlieie- 
in  through  Christ,  was  made  clear  to  me;  and  I 
pleaded  nothing  but  die  merits  of  Christ  for  forgive- 
ness. I  otten  rose  in  the  night  to  read  and  pray, 
and  the  language  of  m.^  heart  was, 

•'If  I  ne'er  find  the  sacred  road, 
"I'll  perish  crying  out  for  God." 

I  felt  great  love  to  the  Methodists  especially  to 
the  prcRchers,  as  the  servants  of  tiie  mosi  hi.:,!!  God 
sent  lo  teach  us  tl*e  way  of  salvuiion.  The  people 
took  notice  of  me,  talked  with  me,  and  wisht  d  me 
to  cast  in  wiy  lot  an)ongst  them.  1  did  so,  though  I 
did  fuii  (hirik  mysell  worthy; aiid  I  bless  (iod.  I  have 
never  Jc-t  a  Ocsirc  ttt  iea\e  Ihejo  since.  J  coi.iinued 
inouruing  after  ihe  Lord,  and,  at  length,  he  ueard 


MR.   WILLIAM    HUNTER.  169 

my  <?**y*  ^"6  day,  as  I  remember,  I  was  reading  in 
ft  book,  where  the  writer  was  answering  that  objec- 
tion, concerning  the  day  of  grace  being  past:  the 
Lord  was  pleased  to  send  me  deliverance;  I  found 
springing  hope,  and  a  sense  of  his  goodness.  How 
did  I  admire  the  love  of  God,  and  the  love  of  Jesus 
Christ  to  me  !  All  my  thoughts  were  swallowed  up 
in  heavenly  contemplation:  and  I  could  truly  say, 
*'The  Lord  is  my  life  and  my  salvation,  whom  shall 
I  fear?  Thine  anger  is  turned  away,  and  thou  com- 
fortest  me." 

I  now  tried  what  the  spirit  had  wrought  in  me  by 
the  marks  laid  down  in  the  holy  s«ripture,  and 
hence  I  found  reason  to  believe,  that  I  belonged  to 
Christ,  and  was  a  child  of  Gtd.  1  made  a  free-will 
offering  of  all  I  had,  to  be  his  forever;  and  I  thank 
him  from  the  ground  of  my  heart,  that  I  have  been 
kept  in  the  same  mind  to  this  day:  though  I  have 
great  cause  to  be  aslianied  that  1  have  made  no  bet- 
ter improvement,  and  often  mourn  and  weep  on  that 
account. 

When  I  had  thus  found  the  goodness  of  God  to  my 
own  soul.  I  could  not  forbear  speaking  of  it  to  others; 
and  the  Lord  gave  me  wouilerful  light  and  courage 
in  his  blessed  work.  He  helped  me  to  reprove  sia 
wherever  I  met  with  it,  with  humility,  meekness  and 
much  prayer:  yet  without  fearing  the  face  of  any 
man,  though  many  said  I  was  out  of  my  mind,  yea, 
and  wished  me  out  of  the  world.  The  Lord  enabled 
me  lo  set  my  face  as  a  flint,  and  to  bear  a  testimony 
for  him,  wherever  I  went;  and  I  was  much  blessed 
in  so  doing. 

There  was  a  little  town  not  far  from  ours,  where 
I  sometimes  wenugoi  a  few  poor  people  together, 
and  talked  tn  them  about  their  souls.  I  often  read 
the  sj-riptures  to  ihem,  and  someiim<'S  made  some 
remarks  thereon.  Toe  Lord  was  j.leased  to  bless 
my  weak  eadeavors  among  them;  s(f  that  a  few  of 
the:;;  gaiisered  logeunr,  and  the  preacher  joined 
them  m  a  siocsefy,  aud  put  me  iu'io  be  the  leader. 


iTO  EXPERIEN3E    OT 

I  met  with  many  trials  in  this  little  way,  ami  was 
often  tempted  to  give  it  up;  but  I  tlurst  not. 

I  used  to  travel  far  on  the  Lord's  day,  to  hear  the 
word  of  God.  If  it  happened  the  preacher  did  not 
come,  I  was  pressed  upon  to  give  an  exhortation  fo 
the  people.  This  I  frequently  did,  but  1  ofren  went 
home  distressed  to  the  last  degree,  tlirough  a  deep 
sense  of  my  own  unworthiness:yet  it  was  not  always 
so.  At  other  times  I  was  happy  and  lively,  having 
strong  evidence  that  I  was  doing  the  will  of  God. 
Meantime  several  of  the  preachers  spoke  to  me 
about  travelling;  but  the  importance  of  the  work 
made  me  afraid:  till  in  the  year  1769,  at  the  London 
conference,  Mr.  Rowel  recommended  me,  and  1  was 
taken  in  upon  trial.  I  was  then  appointed  for  the 
Barnard  Castle  circuit,  and  entered  upon  my  work 
with  great  fear;  there  seemed  many  difficulties  in  my 
way:  however.  I  gave  myself  up  to  the  Lord,  and  he 
was  pleased  to  give  me  favor  in  the  eyes  of  the 
people. 

Two  years  after,  I  was  stationed  in  Yarm  circuit. 
I  was  afterwards  appointed  to  Barnard  Castle  cir- 
cuit again,  artd  God  was  pleased  to  bless  my  labors, 
with  that  of  the  other  preachers.  We  had  such  a 
work  of  God  in  several  parts  of  this  circuit  as  1  ne- 
Ter  saw.  Hardly  any  thing  of  the  kind  in  England 
hath  exceeded  it,  both  with  regard  to  its  swiftness 
and  depth:  the  power  of  God  bore  down  all  before  it, 
and  it  seemed  as  if  God  was  about  to  convert  all  the 
world. 

After  I  left  this  circuit,  I  was  placed  at  Hull,  then 
at  York,  and  afterwards  in  the  Scarborough  circuit. 
We  had  a  gracious  increase  of  the  work  of  God  here; 
and  I  never  found  more  enlargement  of  heart.  We 
broke  up  much  fresh  ground,  took  in  many  new  pla-- 
ces,  and  many  souls  were  converted  to  God.  The 
last  year  you  appointed  me  for  the  Thirsk  circuit. 
This  has  been  a  year  of  trial,  but  the  Lord  has  stood 
h}  me,  and  1  am  strengthened. 

What  success  I  may  have  for  time  to  come,  lean- 


:.1R.   WILLIAM    HUNTER.  in 

not  tell.  It  is  still  my  one  desire  to  give  myself 
wholly  to  ihe  Lord,  and  to  his  blessed  work.  I  wisjj 
to  live  to  better  purpose  than  I  have  yet  done,  to  be 
more  fruitful  in  his  house,  and  in  the  world.  I  am 
conscious  of  many  defects  in  myself,  and  feel  my 
need  of  Christ  every  moment.  My  soul  hangs  upon 
him,  and  I  experience  salvation  from  day  to  day: 
and  I  trust,  he  that  has  kept  me  till  now,  will  keep 
me  to  the  end. 

Wishing  you  all  peace  and  prosperity,  I  remain-. 
Rev.  and  dear  sir,  Your  affectionate  son, 
in  the  gospel  of  Christ, 

WILLIAM  HUNTER. 

POSTSCRIPT. 

Richmond,  Jlugust  29,  1779. 

'CONCERNING  the  account  I  gave  you  at  Lon- 
don, as  I  wrote  it  in  haste,  I  believe  it  is  very  imper- 
fect; several  things  have  occurred  to  my  mind  since, 
which  I  should  have  put  in,  if  I  had  then  remember- 
ed (hem. 

As  touching  that  great  salvation,  being  saved 
from  inbnd  sin,  I  shall  simply  relate  what  1  know 
of  the  dealings  of  God  with  me  in  this  respect. 

For  some  time  after  1  knew  the  goodness  of  God 
to  my  soul,  I  was  very  happy:  I  sung  in  his  ways 
for  joy  of  heart,  and  his  consolations  were  not 
small  in  me.  I  thought  indeed,  I  should  Icarn  war 
no  more.     It  was  then 

I  rode  on  the  sky. 

Freely  justified  I, 
Nor  envied  Elijah  his  seat: 

My  soul  mounted  hig-her, 

In  a  chariot  of  fire, 
And  the  moon  it  was  under  my  feet! 

Jiscs  all  the  day  long-. 

Was  my  joy  and  my  song-, 
O  that  all  his  salvation  may  see' 

He  hath  lov'd  me,  I  cry'd. 

He  hath  sufter"d  and  dy'd» 
To  redeem  s»ch  a  rebel  asmc. 


'"^ 


S72  EX»RRIENCE    OF 

-  But  afterwards  it  pleased  infinite  wisdom  to  oneu 
a  new  scene  lo  me;  I  liepjan  (o  ?)c  exercised  witli 
many  uncommon  tempta(ions,  ond  felt  my  own  heart 
ready  l'>  comply  with  the  same;  this  hpoiight  me  in- 
to ^reat  straits,  and  I  began  to  call  in  question  the 
work  of  grace  in  my  soul.  O!  the  paiu  and  anguish 
I  felt  for  weeks  together!  Yet  all  this  whirle  I  was 
very  earnest  with  the  Lord,  my  soul  clave  to  him, 
and  I  often  said.  "  Though  he  slay  me,  yet  I  will 
trust  in  him.*'  Under  this  exercise  I  learned  several 
things:  as  first,  that  my  nature  was  not  so  much 
changed  as  I  thought,*  I  found  many  things  in  me 
which  opposed  the  grace  of  God;  so  that  without 
continual  watching  and  prayer,  I  was  capable  of 
eommitting  the  very  same  sins  which  I  had  been 
guilty  of  before.  2.  I  began  to  be  more  acquainted 
with  Satan's  devices,  and  found  power  from  God  to 
resist  them.  3.  1  had  very  affecting  views  of  Christ 
as  my  great  high  priest,  who  was  touched  with  a 
feeling  of  all  my  infirmities.  4.  The  scriptures 
were  precious  to  me,  and  I  found  great  comfort  in 
reading  them.  And  lastly,  I  was  conscious  of  the 
uced  of  a  far  greater  change  in  my  nature  than  I 
had  yet  experienced:  but  1  then  read  mostly  the 
Calvinists  writings,  who  all  write,  that  sin  must  be 
in  believers  till  death:  yet  I  found  my  mind  at  times 
deeply  engiiged  in  prayer  to  be  saved  from  all  sin. 

Thus  I  went  on  for  a  long  time,  sometimes  up  and 
sometimes  dov/n,  till  it  pleased  God  to  bring  me  to 
hear  you  at  Newcastle.  You  preached  I  well  remem- 
ber, from  the  first  epistle  of  John,  chap,  i,  verse  9. 
'<If  we  confess  our  sins,  God  is  faithful  and  just  to 
forgive  us  our  sins,  and  to  cleanse  us  from  all  un- 
righteousness." This  was  a  precious  time  to  me. — 
While  you  were  preaching,  a  divine  light  shone  in 
upon  my  heart  with  the  word,  and  1  was  elearly 
convinced  of  the  doctrine  of  sanetification,  and  the 
attainablcness  of  it.  I  came  home  with  full  purpose 
of  heart,  not  to  rest  till  1  was  made  a  living  witness 


I'lR.    WILLIAM    HUNTEU.  1  TO 

of  it.  I  had  now  a  clear  view,  1,  OTthe  holiness  of 
God,  and  saw  Ihat  sin  could  not  dwell  with  him. 
2,  I  had  a  clear  view  of  the  purity  and  perfection  of 
his  law,  which  is  a  transcript  of  the  divine  nature. 
And  3,  I  felt  my  great  unlikeness  to  hoth :  and  al- 
though I  felt  no  condenination;  yet  in  the  view  of 
these  things,  I  felt  much  pain  in  my  spirit,  and  my 
soul  was  humhled  in  the  dust  before  him  !  Oh!  how 
1  longed  to  be  made  like  him.  to  love  him  with  all 
my  heart,  soul,  mind  and  strength.  I  had  glorious 
discoveries  of  the  grand  provision  made  in  the  New 
Covenant,  for  the  complete  salvation  of  the  soul;  and 
I  went  on  in  joyful  expectation,  crying  to  the  Lord 
to  put  me  in  possession  of  all  Ue  had  purchased  for 
lue,  and  promised  to  me:  sometimes  I  seemed  to  be 
upon  the  threshold,  just  stepping  into  glorious  liber- 
ty; but  again  fear  and  unbelief  prevailed,  and  I 
started  back.  This  cast  my  mind  into  great  per- 
plexity, and  1  often  reasoned  concerning  the  truth 
of  the  thing. 

It  M  ould  be  tedious  to  relate  the  various  exercise!* 
1  went  through  for  several  years,  without  opening 
my  mind  to  any  one.  1  do  not  remember  that  I  ever 
conversed  with  one  upon  the  subject,  or  e^er  heard 
any  one  discourse  upon  it.  Only,  1  think,  about 
eighteen  years  ago,  it  pleased  God  that  1  heard  Mr. 
Olivers  preach  a  sermon  upon  the  subject.  His 
text  was,  "Let  us  go  on  unto  perfection."  His  doc- 
trine was  clear,  and  his  arguments  strong.  My 
heart  consented  to  the  whole  truth,  and  I  had  clear- 
er views  of  the  way  of  attaining  it,  namely  by  faith, 
than  ever  before.  This  added  new  vigor  to  my 
spirit,  and  1  seemed  to  be  more  on  the  wing  thau 
ever.  1  prayed  and  wept  at  his  foot-stool,  that  he 
would  shew  me  all  bis  salvation.  And  he  gave  me 
to  expcrien«e  sufth  a  measure  of  his  grace,  as  I 
never  knew  before:  a  great  measure  of  heavenly 
light  and  divine  power ,spread  through  all  my  soul: 
1  found  unbelief  taken  away  out  of  my  heart :  my 
soul  was  tilled  with  suth  faith  as  1  never  felt  before: 
15  * 


274  EXPEUIENCE    OF 

my  love  to  Christ  was  like  fire,  and  I  had  such 
views  of  him,  as  my  life,  my  poriifn.  n.y  all,  as 
swallowed  me  up:  and  ol»!  Imw  I  longed  to  !»«•  vi(h 
him!  A  <-han°:e  passed  upon  all  the  powers  >>\'m\  soul 
and  I  felt  a  j^real  increase  of  holy  aiid  heavenly  tem- 
pers. I  may  say,  with  humilil\,  it  was  as  thous^h  I 
was  empt'ed  of  all  evil,  aud  filled  with  heaven  and 
God. 

Thus,  under  the  influence  of  his  power  and  grace, 
I  rode  upon  the  sky.  My  soul  fed  on  angel's  food, 
and  1  truly  eat  the  hread  of  heaven.  1  had  more 
glorious  discoveries  than  ever  of  the  gospel  of  God 
our  Saviour,  and  especially  in  his  saving  the  soul 
from  all  sin.  1  enjoyed  such  an  oidence  of  this  in 
my  own  mind,  as  put  me  beyond  all  doubt;  and  yet  I 
never  had  such  a  sense  of  my  own  littleness,  help- 
Jessness  and  unwoithiness,  as  now.  So  true  it  is, 
that  only  grace  can  humble  the  soul ! 

From  the  time  the  Lord  gave  me  to  experience 
this  grace,  1  became  an  advocate  for  the  glorious 
doctrine  of  Christian  perfection.  According  to  the 
gift  he  has  been  pleased  to  give  me,  (0°  I  bear  a 
testimoy  of  it  wherever  1  go,  and  I  never  find  my 
soul  so  happy  as  w  hen  1  preach  most  upon  this  bless- 
ed subject. 

Thus  1  have  simply  related  what  1  know  of  the 
work  of  God  in  my  heart.  I  desire  to  give  him  all 
the  glory.  But  1  have  great  cause  to  be  ashamed 
before  him  for  my  uufaiihfulness.  1  feel  1  need  his 
grace  every  moment:  1  stand  by  faith,  1  have  as 
much  need  of  Christ  as  ever:  1  may  truly  say,  "Eve- 
ry moment.  Lord.  1  want  the  nicrit  of  thy  death." 
Glory  be  to  his  name  1  find  my  soul  uniied  to 
him,  and  my  heart  cries,  none  but  Christ  !  1  am 
kept  h\  his  power:  1  enjoy  salvation:  my  heart  is  fix- 
ed, my  anchor  is  sure  and  stedfast :  1  beiieve  noth- 
ing shall  separate  me  from  the  love  of  God,  which 
is  in  Christ  Jesus. 

I  conclude  with  saying,  though  the  whole  of  our 
salvalion  is  from  the  Lord;  yet  he  deaU  with  us  as 


MR.    %VILLIAM   HUNTER.  275 

rational  creatures.  lie  pjives  us  lijarht  aii^  convio- 
tion  of  our  lost  sta»e:  then  tiie  heart  is  Iiu milled, 
and  the  soul  bows  hefore  him.  Up  I  hen  speaks 
peace.  This  is  done  in  a  moment.  an<l  faith  in  the 
soul  is  the  instrumeatal  root  of  all  ('hii>-Jian  bw'i- 
ness.  Thus  thi?  work  of  sanciiHeation  i»  be.i^un  ia 
the  heart,  and  (he  person  is  in  ji  «ai>acity  of  living 
to  God,  and  i^na^inj;  in  graee.  If  lie  finds  us  faith- 
ful in  a  li'tle,  he  !»li«\v8  us  there  is  a  state  of  greater 
liberty  provided  for  us.  The  soul  being  oj.en  to  the 
divine  teachiiig,  he  shews  us  our  want  of  this.  We 
seek  it  with  o«ir  whole  heart,  and  he  is  pleased  to 
put  usin  possessiau  of  it.  This  too,  is  generally 
given  in  a  moment,  and  perfectly  frees  the  mind 
from  all  evil  tempers,  and  enables  us  to  love  the 
Lord  with  all  our  liearts,  and  our  neighbors  as  our- 
selves. 

Being  thus  perfected  in  love,  we  are  much  more 
qualified  to  grow  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge  of 
our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ,  than  ever.  O 
precious  salvation!  Let  me  ever  be  a  witness  of  it. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

September,  1779. 
Heverend  and  dear  Sir, 

I  WAS  born  at  Chapel-io-the-Fritb,  Derbyshire, 
in  June.  1737.  Mv  parents  were  honest  labouring 
people,  and  brought  up  eight  children,  all  }et  living; 
most  of  them  convinced  of  sin.  and  sojiie  converied 
to  God.  As  my  ather  was  a  Churchman,  anti  my 
mother  a  l*resbvteriaD,I  went  someiimrs  to  churchy 
and  sometimes  to  the  meeting:  and  frequentij  I  went 
"wi'li  luy  mother  to  hear  the  Methodist;^,  among 
iivhom  1  had  several  relutious.     1  stood  iu  awe  uf 


ifb'  EXPERIENCE    OI 

these,  and  when  I  was  in  their  company,  hehaved 
more  seriously  than  at  other  times. 

From  eis;ht  lo  ten  years  of  age,  1  had  many  seri- 
ous M.5  shfs.  especially  when  il  thundered  and  li^ht- 
ei-e'i  or  when  i  beard  a  passing  hell:  and  I  was  al- 
ways presei'ved  from  swearing,  drunkenness,  and 
other  scandalous  sins.  But  I  delighted  much  in 
dancing,  singing,  and  cards,  and  in  making  every  ona 
incrr^  wherever  I  was. 

When  I  was  ahout  sixteen,  I  was  deeply  convinced 
of  sin  hy  reading  the  eighth  chapter  of  Jeremiah: 
particularly  these  words,  "The  harvest  is  })ast,  the 
summer  is  ended,  and  we  are  not  saved."  I  conclud- 
ed that  mv  day  of  grace  was  past,  and  that  there  re- 
mained for  me  nothing  hut  judgment  and  fiery  in'- 
dignation.  The  thought  of  this  almost  hroke  my 
heart,  and  caused  me  to  weep  hitterly  hefore  the 
Lord.  But  after  a  time  I  grew  as  careless  as  hefore, 
and  continued  so  for  ahove  five  years,  only  with  in- 
tervals of  seriousness,  and  many  good  desires,  hut 
none  hrought  to  good  effects.  My  great  hindrance 
was,  the  heing  joined  with  a  society  of  sing^ers.  I 
found  I  could  not  stay  with  them  and  he  religious,  so 
1  thought  1  would  give  religion  up  for  the  present; 
but  at  times  f  was  of  all  men  the  most  miserahle. 

Another  affliction  soon  came  upon  me.  I  was 
from  a  child  very  fond  of  my  mother,  and  often 
thought  I  could  not  bear  to  live  after  her.  In  March 
17.=>9,  she  died.  This  awakened  me  once  more.  I 
resolved  to  break  off  at  once,  and  to  seek  God  with 
all  my  heart.  My  companions  thinking  I  had  only 
left  them  through  grief,  and  would  soon  return,  said 
nothing  to  me  at  first:  but  by  and  hy,  when  they 
heard  I  was  turned  Methodist,  they  set  upon  me  in 
earnest.  But  by  the  grace  of  God  I  withstood  all, 
and  came  out  from  among  them. 

At  that  time  we  had  no  preaching  near  us.  I  of- 
ten went  twelve  miles  on  a  Sabbath  to  hear  a  ser- 
mon. But  in  September  lollowiog,  Mr.  Crab  came 
to  preach  at  ChirUey,  and  joined  a  few  together  in  a 


ilU.   JOHN   ALLE«.  2/7 

society:  I  willin.8;ly  east  in  my  lot  amon»  them,  and 
blessed  be  GosJ,  finve  never  repcited  of  W.  About 
Christmas  I  .t^ot  -u*.  Jt>bn  Oliver  to  pt"H'"h  at  my 
father's  house.  We  bad  no  more  jut  ^ebina:  there 
for  some  time.  Mowever,  three  of  us  ooiitinned  to 
meet  together,  ro  sinj^,  and  ;)ray,  and  converse  ')^e 
evenina;,  when  we  were  met,  I  was  in  such  distress, 
that  I  concluded  I  could  live  no  Ioniser,  if  God  did 
not  pardon  m\  sins.  Presentb'  1  be.ird  a  voice  say- 
ing, *'It  is  /:  be  not  afraid."  I  looked  about,  to  see 
who  it  was  that  s|Jok<';  but  could  see  no  one. —  Hjw- 
ever,  my  mind  was  refreshed  for  a  season,  and  I  re- 
mained between  hope  and  fear  till  we  met  again. 
As  I  was  then  crying  to  the  L»rd.  these  wojmIs 
came  strongly  to  me.  "The  Lord  is  at  hand!  The 
Lord  is  at  liand!"  But  neither  did  the  ?"ipression 
made  by  this,  continue  long.  Soon  after  I  gave 
way  to  trifling,  and  so  grieved  the  Holy  Spirit,  that 
I  hardly  dared  to  look  up,  or  hope  for  mercy.  But 
while  I  was  overwhelmed,  and  feebly  crving  out, 
"I  am  oppressed!  Lowl,  undertake  for  me;"  these 
words  were  applied,  "Why  art  thou  cast  down,  O  my 
soul!  and  why  art  thou  disquieted  witbin  mc?  Put 
thy  trust  in  God."  This  comforted  me  muclu  But 
still  I  could  not  rest,  without  a  clear  sense  of  my 
being  reconciled  to  God.  I  was  one  (!ay  crying  to 
God  for  this,  and  wrestling  with  hi  in  in  prayer, 
when  I  felt  the  love  of  God  shed  abroad  in  my  heart, 
and  was  constrained  to  cry  out, 

"For  sinners  like  me, 
"He  bled  on  tlie  tree, 
"Ah,  who  would  not  love  such  a  Saviour  as  thee." 

Now  I  could  say,  I  knoiv  that  ray  Redeemer  liveth. 
My  soul  was  filled  with  peace,  and  I  rejoiced  in  hope 
of  the  glory  of  God.  Soon  after  we  began  to  have 
constant  preaching;  and  a  little  class  was  formed,  of 
which  I  was  appointed  leader.  I  loved  meeting  in 
class;  but  1  trembled  at  being  the  leader:  nevertheless 
I  took  up  my  cross.  And  many  times  it  proved  a 
blessing  both  to  the  people  and  to  my  own  soul. 


178  liXPERlENCE    OF 

Before  this  I  bad  many  ihoiighfs  about  prraebing;, 
bnt  I  saw  not  how  it  couI*l  be,  as  I  was  (?(^e}»l\  sensi- 
ble of  my  own  i,e;norftnte.  'I'liis  I  often  laid  before 
the  liord.  piayii'jr  l>in»  to  pive  me  full  proof,  if  it 
was  his  will.  iMeanwl.ile  I  sometimes  j;ave  a  word 
of  exhortation,  whieh  it  }ile»se<l  God  to  make  use- 
ful. This  emonraeed  me  to  speak  again;  but  it  was 
with  fear  and  lr<  mldinj;;  an»i  I  often  thouj:;ht,  **lf  I 
get  this  time  over.  F  Mill  speak  no  more." — Thus  I 
Ment  on  for  more  than  twelve  months,  before  I  at- 
tempted to  take  a  text.  After  I  bad  exhorted  and 
preaehed  about  four  years,  I  was,  in  the  year  1766, 
received  on  trial  as  a  travelling:  preacher.  AnH  al- 
tbough  my  heart  was  in  the  work,  yet  I  was  fre- 
quently tempted  to  give  it  up:  but  God  suffered 
me  not.  He  again  and  again  refreshed  my  soul 
therein,  an«l  encouraged  me  to  go  on,  by  letting  me 
see  the  fruit  of  my  labors. 

Several  years  after,  I  bad  thoughts  of  altering  my 
eondition.  Upon  this  I  consulted  my  best  friends.  I 
gave  myself  to  prayer;  and,  after  much  deliberation, 
married  Miss  Jane  Westall,  of  which  1  never  bad 
cause  to  repent  it.  We  lived  together  in  perfect  har- 
mony, till,  on  the  30th  of  June  last,  she  was  seized 
•with  the  epidemic  distemper.  At  first  we  were  not 
apprehensive  it  was  the  fever:  though  she  herself 
judged  it  was,  and  believed  it  was  the  messenger  of 
death.  As  her  fever  increased,  and  her  end  drew 
nearer,  she  was  happier  and  Iiappier.  She  said  very 
little  to  me  about  dying;  because  she  was  sensible 
it  would  give  me  more  affliction  than  I  should  be 
well  able  to  bear.  But  to  others  she  spoke  freely 
concerning  it;  and,  with  the  greatest  composure,  she 
^aid,  "I  shall  soon  be 

"Far  from  a  world  of  grief  and  sin, 
"With  God  eternally  shut  in." 

The  Tuesday  before  her  death  she  seemed  to  be 
quite  transported  with  joy.  When  I  went  up  stairs, 
I  found  her  with  hearen  in  her  look,  repeating  the 
following  lines: 


MR.   JOHN   ALLEN.  ^7i 

••Tlie  world  recedes;  it  disappears; 

•'Heaven  opens  on  my  eyes! 
"My  ears  with  sounds  seraphic  ring': 

''L--nd   lend  your  svings! 
"I  mount!  I  fly!  ^ 

"O  grave  where  is  thy  victor}'! 
"O  death  where  is  thy  sting?  * 

On  Friday  she  seemed  like  one  from  aboTe.-— 
There  was  in  hep  stu-h  a' spirit  of  love  and  grati- 
tude, as  I  never  saw  before  in  any  creature.  She 
thanked  and  blessed  everj  one  that  did  the  least 
thing  for  her.  She  often  prayed,  that  God  would 
reward  me  for  all  my  kindness  towards  her,  and 
broke  out,  <*My  Lord!  my  God!  my  Father!  my 
Husbainl!  my  Friend!  I  long  to  >-ee  t  lee!"  When 
she  could  speak  no  longer,  1  desired,  if  her  soul  was 
happy,  to  lift  up  her  han(j[.  This  she  irametliately 
did,  a'ld  soon  after  fell  asleep. 

By  her  death  I  lost  one  of  the  best  of  wives,  and 
my  two  small  children  one  of  the  best  of  mothers. 
In  many  things  she  was  a  paitera  to  the  fiuek  of 
Christ;  particularly  in  plainness  of  dress  and  of 
speech,  in  neatness,  in  every  relative  duty,  as  well 
as  in  private  prayer.  This  I  never  remember  her 
to  have  omitted  three  times  a  day.  Had  any  told 
me  before  hand,  how  I  should  be  able  to  bear  her 
death,  I  could  not  have  believed  it.  None  but  God 
can  tell  what  I  felt.  But  I  did  not  feel  a  murmur- 
ing thought;  nor  ever,  for  one  moment,  imagined 
that  God  had  dealt  hardly  with  me.    1  could  still  say, 

"Thy  medicine  puts  me  to  great  smart! 
"Thou  wound'st  me  in  the  tenderest  part! 
"But  'tis  with  a  design  to  cure: 
"I  must,  I  will  the  touch  endure. 
"All  that  I  priz'd  below  is  gone: 
"Yet,  lather,  still  thy  will  be  done!" 

I  am  now  more  convinced  than  ever,  that  reli- 
gion does  not  turn  us  into  stocks  and  stones;  that  it 
is  intended,  not  to  root  out,  but  to  regulate  our  pas- 
sions; and  that  there  may  be  the  most  sensible  feeU 


280  '  EXPF.RIEIJCE   OE 

ings,  with  full  pesifjjnatior  to  the  will  of  (lod.  This, 
1  bless  God  is  my  ov\n  ox|)fi'ieiU'e.  1  have  been 
telling  the  people,  tliat  Cioil  would  j-ive  suftering 
grace  for  suffering  limes;  and.  I  am  now  a  living 
proof  of  it.  As  1  have  endeavouied  to  waier  others, 
God  hath  watered  me  again;  and  not  as  wateri?  ihat 
fail,  but  as  a  fountain  of  water  springing  up  with- 
in my  Soul.  * 

Let  the  Lord  now  "do  with  me  as  seemeth  him 
good." 

"Ill  praise  him  for  all  that  is  past, 
"And  trust  him  for  all  that's  to  come." 

Hitherio  the  Lord  iias  been  uiy  helper,  and  he 
is  the  sanie  forever.  So  far  as  I  know  my  own 
heart,  1  liave  no  desire  hui  to  live  to  his  giory, 
and  to  promote,  so  far  a^  am  able,  the  interest  of 
my  lledeemer.  My  greatest  grief  is,  that  1  do  not 
love  God  more,  and  that  1  have  not  more  of  heaven 
iii  my  heart. 

1  bless  God,  I  have  for  twenty  years  been  steady 
in  my  principles,  having  never,  that  I  know  of,  how- 
ever 1  was  tempted,  wavered  for  one  hour.  1  have 
read  ntan^  things  on  the  other  side  of  the  question, 
but  was  not  in  the  least  shaken.  1  still  believe,  that 
Christ  gave  himself  a  ransom  for  all;  and  that,  by 
the  grace  of  God  he  tasted  death  for  every  man,  that 
he  might  redeem  us  from  all  iniquity,  and  purify 
unto  himself  a  peculiar  i)eople,  zealous  of  good 
works. 

If  this  imperfect  account  may  be  of  use  to  any,  it 
will  answer  the  etid  thai  is  wished  for,  by 
Reverend  and  dear  Sir, 

\our  sou  in  the  gospel, 

JOHN  ALLEN. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  0F 

MR- THOMAS  HANSON. 


Croiuan,  March  11,  1780, 
IT  is  Tcry  <lifiioult  to  write,  where  self  is  concern- 
ed. But  as  I  am  refjues(e(l»  I  shall  endeavor  to  give 
a  brief  account  of  tho-e  circumstances  in  my  life, 
which  particularly  discover  the  divine  pity  towards 
me. 

I  was  burn  of  honest  parents,  in  Hnrhury,  near 
Wakefield,  in  the  county  of  York,  I  think  in  May, 
1733,  the  younger  of  two  sons  a(  a  hirth:  my  parents 
having  had  six  sons,  arid  two  daughiers.  He  that 
was  born  with  me,  died  in  his  childhood.  My  fuiliep 
died  when  1  was  near  eleven  years  old.  Six  out  of 
the  seven  of  us  that  lived,  hiive  f  uind  mercy  and  for- 
giveness through  Christ.  My  truly  pious  muther 
had  the  happiness  to  see  it  be'ioi*.'  she  died,  thou.;;!i 
she  has  been  dead  above  twenty  years.  Two  of  my 
elder  brothers  feil  into  sin,  and  turned  back:  hut 
one  is  restored.  I  hope,  to  favor  and  to  heaven;  the 
other  is  not  yet  recovered:  but  oh.  may  he  be  soon! 

We  have  always  lived  in  love  and  harmony,  i  nev- 
er had,  to  my  knowled,u;e,  twenty  a'lgry  words  with 
either  brother  or  sister,  in  my  lite  I  do  not  reiueai- 
ber  to  have  heard  an  oath  in  all  the  family.  About 
thirty-four  years  ago,  my  mother  anti  three  elder 
broi iters  were  brought  to  God.  1  was  then  convin- 
ced, and  a  little  awakened,  b^  hearing  IMr.  PVancis 
Sooit.  The  very  man.  (I  think)  by  whom  m^  ever 
dear  liiother  ha<!  I)een  awakened  and  brought  to  God. 
Iriiii  Iwat  time  tny  ;:i;ood  desires  dia  not  quite  leave 
me.  1  hoije  my  m.>ther's  prayers,  tears,  and  advice, 
w  iii  nevtr  leave  my  mitid  an«i  heart.  1  was  a  tU  ught- 
less,  careless.  Clirisiiess  son,  before  that  lime,  and 
had  no  tear  of  God  before  luy  eyes. 
16 


182  EXPERIENCE    OF 

I  was  plar»e(l,  af  ahouf  thinteen  years  of  apo,  in 
the  profession  uliicli  mv  fallier  and  htothcrs  hiui 
foIli)\v»Ml,  viz.  a  cloihier.  1  now  ofleri  wcnf  lo  hear 
Ihe  Methodist  preachers,  thongli  we  liad  some  miles 
to  go.  Many  of  those  that  are  now,  1  douhi  not, 
sinj^iniij  in  heaven,  used  (o  ^u  and  eonie  with  me  in 
the  evening,  throiiijli  the  woods;  ol'ien  singing  these 
sweei  words: 

'•Break  forth  into  singing,  ye  trees  of  the  wood; 
"For  Jb9U8  is  biing-ing  lost  sinneis  to  God  " 

I  use*'  to  pray  in\^ar  il^  on  my  way  to  (lie  preach- 
ing; yea.  and  often  turned  aside  to  pj'ay.  1  was 
afraid  to  be  seen  or  known  to  pray  alone:  so  1  sought 
out  every  private  place  ihatlttould, 

AVe  had  much  persecution  then,  and  a  great  deal 
of  talk  about  false  prophets  in  sheep's  elotiiing. — 
But  the  most  common  name  for  them  was,  ihe 
damnation  preachers;  wiiich  i  ilxui-ht  was  far  fi'om 
shcejj's  ehilhitig.  So  tlutt  did  not  hinder  me  much. 
But  1  was  greatly  troubled  with  horrid  suggestions, 
and  had  nranj  fears  (no  doubt  from  the  wicked  ooe) 
in  private  pi'a>er:  so  tiiai  1  was  lor  quite  laying  it 
aside.  1  was  afraid  to  go  to  it;  and  yi  1  durst  not 
give  it  over.  1  was  in  a  strait  on  anollier  account; 
1  was  ashamed  of  the  gospel;  I  did  not  stand  him 
on  God's  side;  and  yet  i  durst  not  be  on  the  de»il's 
sidi'.  1  was  verv  fearful  of  being  deceived,  reason- 
ing ard  douluing  lor  several  jears,  whellur  the 
knowledge  of  pardon  was  atiainal)le  here.  1  liiought, 
God  did  for  ,ive  men  ti.eir  sins;  Out  that  none  eould 
know  it  for  himseif.  But  afterwards  1  was  clearly 
convinced  b>  hearing  my  brotuer's  experience,  and 
weighing  the  scriptures  that  he  urged  fur  it.  And 
I  hud  ilicn  a  eomfuriabie  hojje  of  (.ne  daj^  Hiiding  it; 
hut  for  some  yciirs  1  was  between  hope  and  fear, 
when  i  was  about  nineteen  years  old.  in  1752,  b')  my 
eldest  brother's  advice.  1  went  to  Mr.  Byrrie's.  at 
the  iJeighn  -  Hfuse,  s:ear  Ar.'her-  Hion-.  liere  J 
stayed  for  near  four  year.     jJivioe  providence  cer- 


MR.   THOMAS    HANSON.  183 

tainly  cast  me  here,  wliere  1  had  all  <he  advantages 
I  f<>uld  wish  for,  havinjjj  two  school-muslers  near  at 
hand.  I  wrouji;ht  seven  or  eii|;h(  hours  a  <)ay,  with 
my  book  before  me.  and  sperit  the  resf  of  the  day, 
and  part  of  the  night,  in  learning.  This  I  did  dur- 
ing the  whole  time  I  was  here.  Mr.  Minstiff  (aught 
me  to  wrile,  and  east  accounts,  for  above  a  ycarj 
and  Mr.  Wood,  of  Nether-Thong,  the  Latin-master, 
taught  me  a  little  Latin  and  Greek.  1  got  what  I 
could  by  heart,  in  the  day,  and  said  it  to  him  at 
night.  BiM  as  soon  as  I  left  this  place,  ]  laid  these 
studies  aside,  and  resumed  them  no  more  to  this 
day.  I  have  since  had  Jar  belter  work,  and  could 
not  see  any  need  of  these  for  the  understanding  of 
the  holy  scriptures.  , 

We  had  no  Methodist  i)reachers  here.  I  did  not 
hear  ten  sermons,  except  at  church,  for  near  four 
years.  Here  1  was  great Iv  beloved  by  those  that 
hisd  any  seriousness,  and  greatly  haled  by  those  that 
had  n(me:  for,  I  could  not  hold  my  tongue  about  re* 
ligion;  my  eojiscience  would  sehiom  let  me  be  quiet. 
1  told  ihem,  we  must  know  our  sins  fergjven  or  per- 
ish forever.  And  frequently  I  wept  with  some  of 
them  about  it.  Several,  (hereabouts,  came  to  me 
for  advice  concerning  their  souls;  though  I,  poor 
creature,  was  ignorant  enough,  and  well  nigh  lost 
in  my  book. 

My  conscience,  during  these  years,  often  arlarm- 
ed  me.  But  now  it  would  give  me  no  rest  for  Avant 
of  Christ  and  pardon.  So  1  determined,  notwith- 
standing many  offered  n>e  favors  in  worldly  things, 
to  go  home  to  my  inotLer  and  brother  s.  Several 
wept  and  entreated  me  to  stay:  1  told  them  I  cannot 
sa-e  my  soul  here — 1  have  not  the  means  suitable 
for  it. 

Home  I  eame,  in  17.^6,  with  a  full  resolution  to 
seek  Christ  till  I  found  him;  or  die  in  the  seeking 
of  him.  Then  I  sold,  or  gave  away,  near'y  all  my 
books,  and  through  grace  began  to  be  as  diligent  iu 
the  ways  of  God  as  1  had  been  iu  study. 


J 84  EXPERIENCE    Ot 

I  now  added  fasting  to  all  (he  other  means  ot* 
gra«'e.  Soon  afier  (his,  the  tempter loldnie,  "Thou 
art  j?o<.d  eiioiisjh."  But  a  ^'rmon  of  honest  hroiher 
Ash,  on  Gal.  ii,  21,  and  the  words  of  my  dear  mo- 
ther, who  said,  "Tlioiiirh  1  horc  you,  if  you  do  not 
come  to  Cfirist,  stript  of  all,  you  will  never  be  sav- 
ed," tore  away  my  selfrighteousness.  God  now 
tauj>;ht  me  to  expect  Christ  and  pardon  every  hour. 
i^Iy  hiirden  was  too  great  to  he  esprest;  when  God 
}\n'\.  hy  various  means  (parti'-uiariy  hy  reading  the 
Bif)le,  and  the  extract  of  Ambrose  on  tlie  J\'ew  Birth, 
on  my  knees)  brought  me,  for  three  weeks,  lo  the 
brink  of  despair.  Just  before  I  found  pardon,  1  was 
miserable  be^>ond  description. 

On  July  the  16th.  at  night,  1757,  under  my  bro- 
ther Joseph's  prayer,  1  yielded,  sunk,  and,  as  it  were, 
died  away.  My  licart,  with  a  kind,  sweet  struggle, 
Incited  into  the  hands  of  God.  I  was,  for  some  hours, 
lost  in  wonder,  by  the  astonishing  peace,  love  and 
joy,  which  flowed  iiito  mv  heart  like  a  mighty  tor- 
rent. Mhenlcame  to  recollect  myself,  I  asked, 
what  hast  ihuu  done?  It  was  sweetly,  but  deeply 
injpressed,  ••!  have  ntade  thee  n)ine."  No  tongue 
can  tell  what  peace,  love,  Joy  and  assurance  I  then 
felt.  My  williiig  heart  and  tongue  rci)lied,  hast 
thou  thus  loved  me?  Here  I  am,  williitg  to  spend 
aisd  he  spent  for  thee.  God  now  gave  me  to  see  all 
creation,  redemjition,  grace  and  glory  in  a  new  lightj 
and  ever\  thing  led  me  to  lo\^  and  praise  him. 

Trom  this  night  1  could  not  hoUl  my  tongue  from 
speakirtg  of  the  things  of  God.  A  few  davs  after 
my  ha|)py  conversion,  I  felt  auger  at  one  who  per- 
secuted us.  Soon  after  my  peace  left  me.  'i1ien  the 
ten>j»ter  said,  ''He  that  is  burn  of  God  sinneth  not. 
But  thou  hast  sinued:  iherelore  thou  art  not  born  of 
God;  111  u  bust  deceived  thyself."  J  was  then  in  a 
great  measure  ignorant  of  his  devices:  so  gave  up 
my  shield;  and  was  in  the  depth  of  distress,  ready  to 
cho(»se  strangling  for  near  two  hours.  It  then  came 
to  uiy  miud,  what  if  i  had  deceived  myself?  l*ardoii 


MR.   THOMAS    HANSOlf.  185 

is  free  and  j»iven  in  an  instant:  it  is  ready  for  nee- 
d^.  \o>\  sinners.  1  will  go  as  1  am,  cast  myself  oa 
the  ground,  and  on  Christ  at  once.  IVIy  foriuer. 
peace,  love  and  joy  returned  in  a  moment.  'This 
fore-trial  taught  me  more  watchfulness.  After  tttis 
I  walked  in  great  love  and  peace  for  near  two  years, 
buying  up  every  opportunity  for  prayer,  hearing 
and  reauing.  1  read  the  chief  part  of  the  Cliristiaa 
Lihrary,  with  Mr.  Wesley's  works,  that  were  then 
published,  and  several  other  books,  to  my  great 
help,  instruction  and  comfort. 

Now  the  same  spirit  that  witnessed  my  adoption, 
cried  in  me,  night  and  day,  '-Spend  and  be  spent 
for  God;"  yet,  never  was  any  one  more  timorous  ;  JE 
thought  the  work  so  great,  and  my  abilities  so 
smill,  I  cried,  I  am  not  lit.  i  wept  and  kept  it  to 
myself  for  months.  Oh!  wlial  a  stiuggle  had  [  be- 
tween my  unfitness  and  m^  luve  to  God  and  soulsl 
Afier  this,  the  Osset  people,  by  earnest  entreaties, 
prevailed  on  me  to  pray  in  public.  And  it  pleased 
God  to  make  it  the  means  of  awakening  some  sin- 
ners. 'J'hen  1  was  persuaded  to  exhort God  bless- 
ed this  also,  to  the  conversion  of  several  in  ihe 
neighboring  towns.  Now  began  my  warfare  with 
Ihe  various  sects  about  us,  who  came,  when  1  had 
preaclicd  at  Osset,  to  dispute  with  me  often  till 
midnight.  Bui  1  was  soon  heartily  wear^  of  dis- 
pute; f"r  it  caused  a  decay  in  my  peace  and  love. 

JVlv  inbred  corruptions  now  began  to  perplex  me 
more  tlian  ever,  and  to  be  a  heav^  load  indeed  for 
some  lime,  tiw  one  day,  meeting  with  a  few  young 
men  (as  L  often  did)  God  gave  me  such  a  neiiver- 
aiice,  and  su<  h  a  weight  of  iove  as  1  had  nut  hereto- 
fore. 1  seemea  too  happy  to  live  on  earth,  and 
thought  God  was  going  «o  take  me  home.  My  joy 
allowed  me  liuie  >leep  for  weeks.  I  told  it  to  none 
but  my  tirother;  and  to  him  only,  when  1  could  keep 
it  no  louger  from  him. 

Not  long  af«er  this,  a  letter  came  from  Mr.  Tiiom- 
as  Olivers^  (who  afterwards  behaved  with  the  tea- 
16  * 


IS6  KXPERlEKOli    Of 

dernrss  oml  wfsdom  of  a  failier  <o  mc)   fo\let  lue 
know  thai    I   wa**  appoinled  In    <lie  C'(M»l<':<MH'e,  to 
iravel   in    tlie   then  York    ciicnU.     Tlii'*  was  done 
wljolly  wiUioiit  ni\  knowlcilf^e.     No  one  lia<l  snukea 
to  me  aboul  i(.  nor  I  to  any  one.     I  alreadv  preaeli- 
ed  four  or  five  limes  a  \\eek  al)ouf  home,  and  l-ved 
the  peojde  loowell  fo  desire  to  leave  (hem.     In  my 
answer  to  INlr.   Oliver-.  I  said.  ••!  have  no  d«jid)t  of 
my  eall  to  |  reaeli;  IhiI  lia\e  nf»  de^'ire  lo  he  a  travel- 
lir.}j;  preacher.     I  am  n<»i  fit  Vov  ii.     I  cannot  come." 
lie  replied.  "If  yi>nr  falher  >vas  iU'm\.  and  >onr  mo- 
ther lav  a  dyini:,,  v)n  mn^t  (Mime  and  jneaeh  llie  }i;;os- 
j)el  "     I  wepl  a  fort!iiji;ht  ahon(  it.   I  sa»«l  lo  m}  hro- 
Iher,  "(»o  yen:  von  are  ujore  iit  than  1."     He  said, 
<*n((d   knows  who  is  (it— ^le  has  eaiied  yon:  ihere- 
fore    s?o.''     1'iie    ^raeiors    spirit    workinj;  in    me  a 
villinjiness  (o  s,  e  •«!  and'  he   s[jent  foi-  God:  and   my 
brother  persnai'it-i;  me,  I  went  in  ITfJO;  and  t!ir<»uj;h 
graee  have    eoniiuued    unto    ihis  day. — In  all  tliis 
lime,  I  <  5ill   the  ali-seeitij^  God   and   his  peo[>le,  to 
bear  MitrC'S,  that  I  have  sonelil  nolhinji;  hut  his  i;lo- 
ry,  in  n.y  own  suivauon  and  <ha(  of  oi hers. 

1  have  htenin  m<  s(  of  (he  (-ir<iii(s  ef  the  king- 
dons:  ami  I  trnsL  God  \  as  heen  pleased  (o  use  me, 
an<'  ib(>se  with  me,  jiuritii:;  these  twenty  years,  (o 
unite  thousands  t<^  the  soiielies.  lint  it  is  »)e»lerto 
lea^c  this  (o  God  and  his  people.  Tliey  are  our 
epistle,  written  by  Christ  to  the  rejoii  inj^  «if  oup 
hear's  May  their  conversion  he  known  and  read  by 
all  ihat  know  them! 

1  have  be<  n  in  «;anj^ers;  by  snow-drifts,  by  land- 
floods,  by  falls  from  my  horse,  and  by  persecution: 
I  have  l»een  in  sicktsess.  cold,  pain,  weakness  and 
weariness  often:  in  jovfn!  eomCorts  often:  in  daily 
iove  and  peace,  but  not  enough:  in  t^rief  a  id  heavi- 
ness tisroiigh  manifold  temptations  often.  I  have 
bad  abundance  of  trials,  with  my  heart,  with  my  un- 
derstandiiti;  and  judgmeist;  with  various  reasoifinjjjs 
amoirie  [Viendsan<l  foes,  with  men  ai)d  devils,  and 
must  with  myself.     But  in  all  ibese^  God  ia  mercy 


MR.    THOMAS    HANSOK.  187 

has  liitherto  so  feept  me,  that  I  believe  none  can  with 
justice  lay  any  sin,«;le  imm.nai  act  to  my  eliari^e, 
since  t!ie  day  trod   ihrouL'^li  Chrisit  rocajave*  m,v  sins. 

Al!  my  desji^n  in  preiic'iitiu;  bas  been,  and  is,  to 
brin?^  sinners  to  Chri^f:  a-id  tobjiild  up  saints  in  (lie 
most  holy  faith,  hope  an<)  love,  to  a  perfect  man. 

To  this  end,  (lie  chief  m  ttei*  of  my  preaching 
has  been  the  essentials  of  relifjion;  s:!ch  as  »he  l:>s't 
state  of  man.  depruveii.  ajniliy,  a  ■<!  misevahle  f)j 
natui-e:  his  justiScation  ti»r*<uti;h  the  alnne  merits  uf 
Christ  by  faith  orsly,  together  with  rhe  witness  and 
fiuitsofit,  the  new  birih  the  necessiiy,  henelits, 
and  frnits  of  ii,  in  all  inward  and  outward  holiness. 
1  have  endeavored  to  explain  the  new  covenant  in  its 
beiielits,  conditions.  s>»e4'epts,  threats  and  rewards. 
1  have  shewn  that  perfecl:  love  is  aHai.iahle  here, 
by  (hose  tljat  press  for  it  with  their  wijole  hear«.  I 
tea'-h  piety  to  God.  Justice  and  iiiercy  to  men,  arid 
sobriety  in  ourselves,  cn;leavorift4>;  to  keep  a  con- 
science void  of  offence  iowards  G  *d  and  man  hi  ev- 
ery station  of  life,  and  in  a!!  relations.  I  also  en- 
deavor to  j^uard  souls  against  the  lemptations  from 
the  worhl,  the  flesh  and  tiie  <!evil;  aj^ainst  (he  lnirt- 
ful  opinions  that  surronnd  (hem;  and  ai^ains^  the 
hinderanee  of  their  reoeatance.  fai(h.  hope,  love  and 
holi".ess.  I  have  also  shewi  tiiem  the  danj^er  of  de- 
lav,  of  refusal,  or  of  drawing  back  to  sin,  death  and 
hell. 

Jn  (be  pulpit  I  have  seldom  meddled  with  (he  de- 
crees, or  (he  five  points  of  debate.  I  snffVred  so 
mncli  loss  by  t  em  before  I  -.et  out  to  travel,  that  I 
determined  not  to  meddle  with  them,  but  when  my 
bretiiren  were  in  danger  of  beiijg  ied  aside  or  hurt 
by  (hem.  So  far  as  J  >iee  cicur  evidence  for  a!i>  of 
tliese  things.  I  hold  and  prove  tliem  as  occasion  of- 
ferj  But  where  I  see  no  snfl^cienf  proof  of  a  pro- 
posin'on,  1  leave  (he  discussion  of  it  (o  (h  )se  (iuit 
are  wiser,  Ba!  \vt  I  can:n»t  help  thinking,  (hat 
iiiany  of  these  disputes  are  not  much  more  than  a 
learned  piayj  and  if  wise  luea  would  but  play  with 


J  88  BXPERIF,N«E    or 

tliese  in  goojl  humor,  il  would  not  muoli  j^rieve  one; 
but  when  the>  j*row  an.j^rv,  and  rHll  oa(  h  olhcr  hy 
vile  nanu's.  I»ecause  ihey  difti-r  from  ihcni  herein, 
no  (loul)i  ihe  <levil  has  a  great  hand  in  ii;  he  aims  to 
undo,  Uy  (he  non-essentials  irieligion,  (he  j^ood  lliat 
is  done  hy  insislin};  on  the  essentials.  This  has  of- 
ten heen  a  cause  of  fear  and  f;rief  to  me.  But  hav- 
ing resolved  to  (ake  Christ  for  mv  sufficient  (eaehep, 
1  am  now  eonlenCed  to  know  what  he  iias  revealed, 
and  lo  !ea-.e  the  rest  to  another  world.  I  have,  troui 
mv  heginiiing,  thought  m.yselfilie  paor  man's  preaeh- 
er;  Isaving  •  othing  of  jjoliieness  in  mv  language,  ad- 
dress, or  any  thing  else.  Oh,  thai  in  Ihe  day  of 
Christ's  jndgnjent  J  may  rejoiee,  not  only  in  the  sin- 
cerity of  my  lahor,  but  in  knowing  thai  I  have  not 
preached,  and  labored,  and  suftered,  without  frui^j 
but  have  heen  tlie  inslrnment  of  gaining  s<»n!s  lo, 
and  of  kee[>ing  tiiem  vvi»h  Ihrist!  And  oii,  that  he 
may  present  tliem  lo  the  father,  wiihonl  blame,  in 
perfect  love!     Tiiis  is  the  real  desire  of 

TJlOMAS  HANSON. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


Reverend  and  dear  sir, 

:'»p  -  fadier  m moved  frf)m  Barnard-Castle,  in  the 
con  iiy  of  Durham,  ro  live  in  the  city  of  Carlisle, 
■where  he  was  employed  bv  a  company  of  gentlemen 
to  larry  on  a  branch  of  Ihe  woollen  mannfactoiy. 
Here  he  married  my  mother,  who  was  a  person  of 
some  small  properly;  by  wiiom  he  had  three  chil- 
dre?!.  5r  eir being  the  youngest.  I  was  born  De- 
eeinber  16,  1733. 


MR.    THOMAS    HANBY.  189 

After  some  years,  the  factory  was  given  up,  and 
my  parents  eatue  to  live  at  Barnaift-Casllc again.— 
My  mother  died  when  I  \»as  ahoiit  seven  years  of 
ajsje,  and  my  fatiier  soon  af(er.  He  was  much  addict- 
ed to  drunkenness,  which  snade  him  neghM't  tlie  care 
of  his  family;  Uy  which  means  he  reduced  his  help- 
less off^j)ring  to  a  variet;y  of iifflsctiois.  I  lived  some 
time  with  an  ainit,  who  had  heen  a  person  of  coiisid- 
erahle  fortune. bui  Wis  re<!u('ed  hy  the  extravagancy 
of  my  uncle,  my  father's  hrother.  It  is  true.  I  was 
put  to  school  for  sime  yeai's;  hut  made  noconssder- 
ahle  progress  in  learning.  Before  I  was  twelve,  I 
was  put  out  to  a  tratle;  wherehy  a  kind  providence 
enahled  me  to  provide  for  myself  such  things  as  I 
stood  in  need  of. 

The  first  serious  impression  that  I  remember,  was 
when  1  was  about  six  years  of  age.  I  was  in  a  yard 
belonging  to  the  house  where  we  lived,  in  Barnard- 
Castle,  arid  looking  up  to  heaven,  I  was  struck  with 
wonder,  and  calied  aloud,  ^'God  Mmighty!'^ — But 
such  honor  seized  me,  as  made  me  run  home,  and 
shut  ihe  door  with  all  s(ieed.  My  mother  rcjiroved 
me,  and  said  1  had  been  doing  some  miscliief;  hut  I 
assured  her  I  had  not.  Slie  then  insisted  upon  know- 
ing the  cause  of  my  uncommon  haste,  and  of  my 
shutting  the  door  with  such  violcice.  I  t(dd  her  I 
was  in  the  yard,  and  called  aloud  "God  x\lmighty!'* 
and  was  afraid.  What  she  thought  I  cannot  say; 
but  she  said  no  more  to  me  upon  the  subject.  A  few 
years  after,  I  was  greatly  alarnied  hy  mv  sister  talk- 
ing of  the  day  of  judgment,  which  1  had  not  heard 
of  before.  But  these  serious  impressions  wore  off, 
and  1  began  to  be, 

"Rough  in  my  manners,  and  untam'd  my  mind  " 

When  1  was  about  thirteen,  hearing  the  bishop 
was  coming  to  confirm  the  children  in  our  town,  I 
began  to  think  some  kind  of  ref^  imation  and  prej)a- 
ration  was  necessary.  AccordijigU  I  applse*!  to  a 
relation,  one  John  Robinson,  a  Maltster,  who  was 


190  EXPERIEKCE    OF 

a  1'nrepp  man,  and  esteemed  and  beloved  hy  all  men. 
He  fan};^'  »  me  yll  lie  knew.  viz.  many  qijestioiis  and 
ansMers,  with  a  great  manlier  of  pravers;  insliMicted 
ii'e  in  iho  Chniefi  oa<ecliisni.(ror  tlion.i;h  I  had  learn- 
ed If  \nhen  al  ;?(  hool.  I  had  n«iNvenliiel>  for^oiien  it) 
a*  d  in  short,  made  ine,  i  ihoughi,  a  \er>  goo«l  Imy. 
The  ^:»hhath  rame  when  the  liishop  was  loeonlii*m; 
and  I  having  passed  my  examinalinn  with  the  min- 
ister. >vas  inirodmed  to  the  l>i»hop.  'I'his  was  in  tlie 
forenoon,  and  tciwards?  evening.  1  went  with  some  of 
my  eompanio  s  intit  the  iieids.  and  played  at  our 
usual  games:  but,  before  I  went  to  bed,  horror  of 
consiipMce  seized  me,  and  I  thimght  I  heard  a  voiee 
say.  ••Thy  eonlirmaiion  is  made  void,  for  thou  hast 
broken  the  salibath."  What  to  do  now,  I  knew  hot. 
H<»wever,  I  began  to  make  myself  good,  by  reading 
and  repeating  many  prayers. 

]n  this  state  I  con*i(iued,  till  it  pleased  God  of  his 
inliiiile  merey,  to  send  a  p(>or  man,  one  Joseph 
Ciieeleborongh,  a  shoemaker,  atid  a  Methodist,  from 
Leeds;  w  ho  having  received  (he  truth  himself,  was 
willing  tn  impart  it  to  others:  not  by  preaehing  or 
exhortation,  but  l»y  friendly  diseourse  with  his  for- 
mer aequaiotanee;  for  he  was  a  Barnard-Castleman. 
Joseph  Garnet,  one  of  our  preachers, now  with  God, 
and  a  few  others,  first  received  the  truth.  ^I'hey  met 
in  an  upper  chamber,  for  fear  of  the  mob.  They  read 
the  scriptures,  ai.d  the  books  you  had  then  publ  sh- 
ed, sung  hymns  and  prayed.  I  went  one  evening  with 
a  few  of  my  ungodly  companions,  and  as  they  were 
disposed  to  mock,  I  joined  with  them.  However.  I 
found  something  within  that  was  far  from  justify- 
ing my  conduct,  and  a  secret  persuasion  that  those 
despised  and  persecuted  people  were  able  to  shevF 
me  the  way  of  sanation.  1  went  again  the  next 
night,  (for  they  met  e\ery  night)  and  begged  I 
might  be  permitted  to  come  in  among  them.  Ac- 
cordingly I  was  admitted,  and  found  m^seif  sweetly 
drawn  to  seek  an  unknown  God.  From  that  time  I 
missed  uo  opportunity  of  assembling  with  them.  My 


MH,    THOMAS    HANBY.  191 

cousin  Robinson  went  at  (he  same  time;  but  the  inin- 
hiev  seiiifop  him.  and  labm-ed  to  cunviiice  liini  fuit 
he  and  the  Methodists  were  all  in  an  er»'or,  and  to 
prove  it.  he  shewed  him  several  .)ld  (luritanicai  h  M»ks 
wiiieh    ireaJed   on  (he  new  birth.  &e.  and  (old  hi.n, 
*»It  is  a  false  religion,  beeanse  i(  is  an  old  religion." 
My    consin,   at  (bat    time,  an<l  for  four  years  af- 
ter,  was   an    entire   straoger   to    bimiself  and    his 
need  oi'a  Savicnr:  the  minisJer  prevailed  om  him  to 
leave  the   Meihodis(s;   and  my  j*rea(  opinion  of  bis 
pie(y  made  me,  (hougb  eon(rary  to  mv  ineliiatiu  ts, 
Ica.e  !hem  aKo,     The  minisier  <oId  my  eonsin.  j)ro- 
\ided  h*^  would  form  a  religious  soeie(y,  up;)n  ra(i  >n- 
al    j-rineiple's,  he   would  somedmes  come  hitn-^elf. 
He  aeeordingly  did,  and  in  a  litMe  time  we  bail  a 
larger  society  than  the  Me(hodis(s,  of  fbrmai  pro- 
fessors, who  could  play  at  cards,  take  (heir  plea- 
sures, asid  conform  to  the  w««rld  in   almost  every 
tliihg.     During  this  period,  God  still  worked  upon 
iii\  lender  mind,  aid  1  was  fervent  in  prayer   read- 
in^,  a.d  every  other  exer.ise  of  religious   duty.     I 
"Whs  someJimes  much  fempted,  but  knew  no(  iba(  it 
was  temptation.  I  also  found  remarkal>le  comforts, 
bill  k'lew  not  wlial  (hey  meant.      1   thought  1  would 
pra\  at  (he  same  place  again;  which  1  did,  and  was 
greatly  suri>rized  nui  to  meet  with  ihesame jov.  la 
this  staie  of  ignorance  1  coii(inued   till  our  society 
dwin«lleU  away,  and  none  remained  but  my  cousin 
and    L     i    said    (o    him    one  night,  I   iear  we  are 
wrong  in  leaving  ihe  Methodists;  we  can  meet  with 
none  \\\\o  can  shew   us  the  way  of  salvatiiin    like 
them;  »M<5ue  and  let  us  go  and  Join  them  agaii;.     itle 
had  some  ohjeclions,  but  my  imiiortunity  pi-evailed 
with  ..im.     Accordingly  we  went,  and  it  tieing  iheip 
CiUSa  lu!  eii-g.  we  were  adniiite<l.     In  about  Iweive 
muuiiis  he  found  peace,  and  ever  after  luntinued    in 
the    way,    a  ^ery  serioas,  steady,  and  circnmsjiect 
'walker,  till  (he  Lurd  took  liim    to  Ijimself.      ibout 
thistiuic  -Ml'.  Whislord,  iiie  iir^f  Meihodisl  i»reach- 
cr,  came  to  liaruard-Cuslie.     He  preacheJ  abi*o;id 


192  EXPERIENCE    O? 

to  a  very  lareje  but  unruly  congregation.  I  was 
nnH'li  aft'oi'ied,  especially  when  lie  repeafed  these 
words. '*Oh,  let  not  Christ's  precious  Modd  be  shed 
in  vain."  [Mr.  Whir  ford  lei't  the  Methodists  some 
years  after,  and  turned  Calviui^t,  and  I  suppose 
wonhl  now  be  shocked  to  use  the  words  which  had 
such  an  effect  upon  my  mind,  that  I  never  could  for- 
get Jhem.] — Aficr  Mr.  AVhiiford,,  we  were  favored 
with  Mr.  Tucker.  Mr.  'I'urnough,  Mr.  John  Fen- 
wiek,  Mr.  Rowel,  and  others;  who  often  preached 
t«>  us  while  the  blood  ran  down  their  faces,  by  the 
blows  and  pointed  arrows  thrown  at  them,  while 
tbey  were  preaching.  Soon  after  you,  sir,  paid  us  a 
visit,  but  were  interrupted  by  the  fire  engine  being 
placed  on  the  amiience.  I,  and  our  few  friends,  did 
all  we  could  to  prevent  it,  but  were  overpowered  by 
the  multitude. 

God  continued  to  draw  me  with  strong  <lesircs, 
and  I  spent  n»uch  time,  praying  in  the  fields,  w»ods» 
and  barns.  Any  place,  and  every  place,  was  now  a 
closet  to  my  mourning  soul,  who  longed  for  the  day 
star  to  arise  in  my  poor  beni  rhted  heart.  And  it 
pleased  infinite  mercj>.  whiic  I  was  praviug  in  a  dark 
place,  (greaily  terrified  for  fear  1  should  see  the  de- 
vil.) t«»  set  my  weary  soul  at  liberty.  The  next  day 
the  Lord  was  pleased  to  withdraw  the  extaey  of  joy, 
thoiigh  I  had  no  condemnation,  and  1  bad  well  nigh 
given  up  my  confi.lenee,  thinking  it  was  nothing  but 
a  heated  i r.  agination.  But  the  L'trd  met  me  again, 
while  i  was  in  the  fields,  my  usual  p'ace  ot  reiire- 
nient.  a  td  I'rom  that  tiuie  1  was  eaabled  to  keep  a 
weak  h<»ld  of  the  pieci<  us  Lord  Jesus. 

When  1  wasabirul  eighteen,  1  itad  a  desire  to  see 
!NcwcasiJe-upon-T>ne:  thinking,  if  I  was  ani(»ng 
nuiie  experienced  Christians,  1  might  be  taught  the 
ways  of  the  Lord  more  perfectly.  I  stayed  a  i'cw 
montiis  there,  a;  d  boarded  with  our  worthy  iViend, 
Mr.  It'heri  Carr.  wh^ise  tenderness  for  my  youth, 
ar.'d  tiHiv  Clnistiai!  liehaviour,  was  of  singular  use 
to  me;  for  wUieli  1  shall  ever  love  and  esteem  him— 


MR.     I'HOMAS    MANBV.  155 

By  attendinpr  preaelnng,  nii^ht  and  tnornins;,  and 
conversing  wiili  niaMv  maliire  Chrisiiiins,  my  under- 
staiitliiig  was  tniich  enlij^hiened:  a  u!  I  (hiidi  i  uiay 
say,  throiigti  all  sufficient  inerey,  thai  I  grew  in  the 
fear  and  knowledge  of  God. 

When  I  returned  to  Barnard  Ca*t!e,  I  stayed  some 
time  there,  and  told  my  he!ove<l  friends  al!  I  eon  Id 
renjemher  of  tlie  many  excellent  sermons  I  iiad  heard 
in  Newcastle,  the  nature  of  their  discipline,  and  tlie 
Chriistian  spirit  ok*  the  society  in  that  place. 

Having  profited  so  much  hy  my  Newcastle  jiur- 
ney,  I  thought  1  would  lake  one  more  jonruey  to 
Leeds,  and  aHer  that,  meant  to  seUle  at  home  for 
life.  Aceordiiigly  1  went,  and  here  provi  lence  was 
equally  kind,  in  casting  my  lo«  in  Mr.  iiic!tar{|  Wat- 
kinson's  family;  where  they  ;)u<  tiiem-elves  to  some 
ine  Mivenieuce  in  hoarding  and  accom.nadaiing  nie 
V/\i\i  a  very  agree-ilkle  lodging.  I  have  oi'<en  had  a 
tha  ikful  remenjhraice  of  llieir  kin:l  ies>>  to  me,  and 
I  hope  ihe  Lord  will  rowar    them  \'ov  jI. 

My  hnsine^is  now,  was  that  of  stnlf-iiiaking,  and  as 
I  lived  to  iahonr  hard,  1  was  able  to  pmcure  more 
than  my  neeessisies  reijiiircd.  My  nuMhod  was,  as 
formerly  to  be  much  in  t!ie  fields,  jiraying  a'sd  «te- 
diiaiing.  1  also  attetv'ed  all  the  meaMs  oi"  grace, 
and  <»i)  Jhe  >Sab')atii  1  frequently  look  a  walk  with 
3Vlr.  Walkinson  ioio  the  cvxinsrv,  wiiere  he  jjrea  bed. 
During  this  period,  {  can  irui;y  sau  i  walked  in 
the  fear  of  Ihe  Lord,  u'x'i  in  (he  edn^lurts  of  the  Ho- 
ly Ghost;  and  m}  «le!i;^ht  was  tu  tUe  law  of  ihe  !^ord, 
and  h)  his  law  I  mediiaied  day  aiul  night. 

About  tiiis  time,  a  sudden  inijfression  was  made 
upon  njy  mi  al,  Ujat  i  ouj^hi  to  pie-icii  Uie  guspel.  I 
coiicluded  it  was  noihing  but  atempuition,  anil  wou<d 
not  foi  a  moment  encourage  sue!)  a  thought.  But 
it  came  again,  and  wiih  it  *"a  horror  of  great  dark- 
iie>(S  fell  uj>on  me,"  like  th&l  meniiooed  in  Gen.  xv. 
12,  am!  I  was  iraly  mise  able.  I  remember«'d  ihe 
Wor  ;!VV(H)d  and  tiio  gull  thai  the  preachers  drank  at 
Bat'uard-Castle^  and  1  said  in  my  heart,  1  will  not 
±r 


1§4  EXPEHIENOE    OP 

preach.  But  the  terr-oi-s  of  »fi(>  Lord  inarle  nic 
afraid,  and  his  fear  look  hohl  n|nni  me.  1  was  in 
great  hiKerness  of  spirit*,  heeaii'^e  of  this  eunviiMirM). 
Sonieiiines  I  (hoii^,ht  it  was  from  God,  at  other 
times  I  thou};;ht  it  was  all  fr«»m  llie  devil.  In  this 
perulexed  sittjation  I  continued  sometime,  without 
ever  mentioniiij^  my  ease  to  anv  one.  I  woiild  fre- 
quentl.y  retii-e  into  my  closet,  and  express  myself  in 
words  like  these:  »»Lord!  of  what  use  is  m>  existence 
in  this  world?  I  am  proiitahle  neither  to  (iod  nop 
man  1  cannot  prea*  h,  for  i  am  a  fool,  and  a  child. 
Oh  lei  ine  die,  for  it  is  hettr  for  me  to  die  than  to 
live." 

However.  I  was  w ill ir.pf  to  preach,  provided  I  was 
sure  it  was  the  will  (d'  (iod  cone  mini;  me.     But 

"This  way,  and  that,  I  turned  my  anxious  mind" 
"When  a  friend  «tf  mine,  one  .John  Smitii,  told  me  of 
a  poor  w  Oman  in  the  society'  who  was  supposed  to  he 
dyini;  and  that  she  was  wonderfully  happ}'.  J  had 
read  in  your  Tracts  the  accounts  of  many  hap;>y 
deaths,  hut  had  never  seen  one.  I  desired  my  frie.id. 
if  he  rould,  to  introduce  me  to  see  her.  He  promis- 
ed to  'all  on  me  the  next  ni.u;ht.  He  did  so,  and  as 
we  were  going,  1  prayed  to  the  Lord  that  he  would 
remove  my  intolerable  loa<l,  and  that  if  it  was  iiis 
wilt  1  should  preach,  he  wou  d  shew  it  to  the  dying 
saint  I  was  going  to  visit.  I  said,  *'L  )rd  ihou  canst 
as  easily  do  this,  as  thou  canst  cause  her  to  irinmpii 
over  death,  if  tliou  wilt  hut  shew  me  a  tolien  hy 
which  I  may  know  thy  will,  then  I  will  preach  thy 
word  wherever  thou  shall  j  lease  to  send  me." 

^Ve  came  to  the  house  where  the  sick  wonian  lay, 
and  as  I  was  an  entire  stranger  to  her,  and  every 
bod\  besides,  1  stood  at  adistant'C.  Mr.  Sheot  came 
in  and  prayed  with  iier,  1  followed  him  to  tell  him 
our  Barnard-Castle  brethren  would  be  glad  fa  visit 
froQi  him.  After  1  had  delivered  my  message,  1  re- 
turued  to  the  sii'k  wtrntan,  and  was  told,  she  had 
made  much  enquiry  lor  the  youiii;  man  who  stood  in 
the  collier,     i  came  to  ihe  bedside,  aud  she  looketi 


aiR.   THOMAS    KANBT.  195 

me  earneslly  in  the  fate,  and  said,  "God  has  called 
y<»u  to  preach  the  gospel;  .voii  have  long  rejected  the 
cuUj  but  lie  will  nial^e  you  go;  obey  the  eall,  obey 
the  call."  She  pii(  such  an  emphasis  upon  ••he  will 
make  you  go,"  that  it  shocked  me  exceedingly. 

1  now  resulved  through  the  giace  of  God,  to  make 
a  ti'jal.  Accoi'dingly  1  sent  won!  to  Bramley,  that 
preacbing  would  be  there  the  next  Lord's  day  in  the 
luoruing.  As  I  went  along,  my  mind  was  f»erteetly 
resigued.  I  did  n  t  th)uk  al)(>ut  what  I  should  say, 
but  my  heart  said,  ♦•If  he  will  have  me  to  preach, 
something  will  be  given  me  to  sa>  that  will  be  pro- 
fitable: and  if  he  has  not  sent  me,  it  will  be  a  less 
cross  to  be  confounded  before  the  people,  than  to  be 
a  {)reacher  of  the  gospel." 

1  was  rather  behind  the  time,  and  the  people  were 
waiting,  exj(ecting  brother  Maikioson,  as  usual.-— 
The^  came  to  me,  and  a>ked  where  he  was,  and  what 
mu'st  be  done?  1  said  in  my  heart,  "The  Lord  will 
provide  himself  a  sacrifice."  I  stepped  to  the  pla  e, 
gave  out  a  hymn,  prayed,  and  took  these  words  tor 
my  text,  'rlf  ye  be  risen  witli  Christ.  >cek  thuse 
things  which  are  above"  The  people  trembled  for 
fear  of  me,  and  prayed  hearti'y.  God  was  pleased 
to  visit  us;  two  persons  received  a  sense  of  pardon. 
I  preached  again  at  noon,  and  at  Armlcy  in  the  eve- 
ning. This,  dear  sir,  was  my  beginning,  and  what 
I  looked  upon  as  my  call  froui  God. 

1  was  now  occasionally  employed  by  Mr.  Shent, 
and  the  other  preachers,  to  take  part  ofa  circuit  for 
them. 

In  175i,  brother  Mitchel  desired  me  to  come  and 
help  them  in  the  Statfordshire  circuit  for  a  te\t^ 
months.  Accordingly  I  went  to  Birmingham,  Wed- 
nesbury,  hv.  Brother  Crab  was  then  along  with 
us,  and  as  we  were  too  many  for  the  few  places  about 
Birmingham,  1  made  an  excursion  into  the  wilds  of 
Derbyshire;  preached  at  Wootton,  near  Weaver- 
hill,  the  For<l,  Snels«n,  and  Ashburn,  where  there 
had  been  no  such  a  being   as  a  Metiiodist  preacher. 


396 


BXPEUIENCR    OF 


I  liad  often  found  a  great  <Sesire  to  preaoli  in  Hiat 
town,  i)iit  WHS  ul  a  loss  liow  (o  infrodnrr  iny^elf. — 
!H<(\ve\er.  I  prtivideniialiy  ht-.nd  ui' a  ^erious  nisin, 
]Mr  Thomas 'riii»ms(in,  whokcpl  ihe  (<dl^aU'.  Hlxnit 
Lair  a  mile  fmm  the  \t<\\v.  I  lock  'ritomuh  \\!ii(e 
wilh  me,  fi  imh  Bartfiti-Foi-:;;^;  we  rame  to  Mr. 
Thomson's!, aiid  inti-odu't'd  our-clves  in  (hel)esi  uian- 
nei-  we  eoiiid.  He  inlormeti  :i  fow  iA'U\s  neis;hli<iurs, 
<La(  ihtre  was  a«|!|'e;ul!ei' ;!<  his  house.  Acfoi'diiig- 
ly.  Mr.  Hnrd's  family.  Mr.  Peaeh's.  and  a  few 
others,  eame  in  the  eveninj^.  I  suppose  as  many  as 
they  dur;-!  inviio.  1  talked  to  iliem  and  expnimded 
SI  part  of  Ihe  eiijhih  ehaptrr  of  the  lioihaMs.  I 
found  much  liherfy  in  my  own  soul,  aod  the  power 
of  God  reNto!  iipim  the  pe(»j)le.  Avho  were  deepiv  af- 
fected. 1  siuyeil  a  few  tlays.  |  reaei  injj;  morniiijf;  and 
evening,  to  as  many  as  the  hou^e  would  hold.  Miss 
Beresfdi'd  eor!deseen<!ed  to  assend>le  with  us,  and 
the  Lord  opened  her  heart,  as  the  heart  of  L>dia. 
AVhen  1  had  heen  preaehing  Christ  as  a  fountain 
open  for  sin  and  uneieanness,  she  eried  out,  '"Oh! 
precious  gospel!  OhI  pi-ecious  gospel!"  From  that 
time  she  eotitinued  stedtasf,  growing  in  grace,  till 
the  Lord  took  her  in  glorious  triumph  lo  liimself, 

1  left  Ashhurn  for  ahout  a  fortnight,  to  visit  my 
new  friends  in  Snelson,  Wootlon,  the  Ford,  Bottom- 
Bouse,  ijcc.and  returned  again.  I  now  found  I  must 
preach  no  more  at  the  toll-gate  house,  the  commis- 
sioners of  the  road  had  forhid  my  friend  Mr.  Thomp- 
son, to  admit  me.  But  Mr.  Hurd,  a  gentleman  farm- 
er, hy  the  desire  of  his  family,  whose  hearts  the  Lord 
had  touched,  suffered  mc  to  preach  at  his  house.  It 
*vas  now  that  a  furious  snob  arose  while  I  w  as  preach- 
ing, &  beset  the  house,  oc  sprang  h\  anuiug  us  like  so 
many  lions.  1  soon  perceived  that  I  was  the  object 
of  their  rage.  My  mind  was  variou^jly  agitated;  yet 
I  durst  not  but  cry  aloud,  as  long  as  1  could  be  heard, 
but  at  last  1  was  overpowered  with  noise.  Some  of 
my  friends,  in  defending  me,  were  bleeding  among 
the  mob,  aud,  with  ditiicuity,  1  escaped  out  of  their 


MR.    THOMAS    HANBT-  l97 

hands.  But  as  Mr.  Thompson,  Mr.  Isaac  Peaoh 
Mr.  Fliml's  lamily.  Miss  Beresfurd,  atid  a  few  oihers 
remained  steady,  I  was  constrained  to  repeat  my 
visits,  till  I  lie  Lord  f^ave  us  peace.  Mr.  Thompson 
grew  in  the  knowledge  and  love  of  God,  till  the 
Lord  look  him  to  himself. 

In  a  Tew  weeks,  I  returned  again  to  Leek,  and 
pot  up  at  one  of  the  principal  inns,  in  hopes  of  see- 
ing some  of  the  societ_^,  to  encourage  them  to  suffer 
patiently  for  the  sake  sif  him  who  suffered  death  for 
them  I  had  ordered  dinner;  h  it  hefi)re  it  was  rea- 
dy, the  moh  collected  togeiiier  in  a  large  hody,  and 
beset  the  inn.  The  landlord  came  to  me  m  great 
confusion,  and  enireaied  me  to  leave  the  place  irn- 
mediately,  or  his  house  would  he  pulled  down,  and 
I  sh  »uld  be  murdered.  I  was  obliged  to  obey;  I 
inouute<l  my  horse  in  the  yard,  and  rode  through  the 
mob,  amidst  stones,  dirt,  6lc.  whilst  they  were  gath- 
ering in  vast  numUers  from  every  j-.art  of  the  town, 
crying,  ''Iviil  him.  kill  hien!"  There  was,  from  this 
time,  no  access  to  Leek,  till  the  ehief  men  of  this 
mob  died  sniserably;  and  of  the  rest,  some  went  for 
soldiers,  and  all  of  (hem  were  dispersed,  exr-ept  one 
man,  who  was  alive  a  few  mouths  ago,  in  miserable 
eircuinstauces. 

1  liad  irequently  passed  through  Burton-upon- 
Trent.  in  mv  way  to  Ashby-de-la  Z..uclj;  an  .  fcmnd 
a  th'sire  to  preach  in  thai  place,  which  appeared  to 
me,  to  be  fit  for  him  who  came  not  to  call  the  righte- 
ous, but  sinners,  to  repeotance.  I  oatained  leave  to 
preacb  in  a  large  house,  belonging  to  a  shoemaker. 
Many  atiended,  attd  J  had  reason  to  believe  some 
were  awakened.  1  gave  out  preai-hing  tor  another 
d4iy,and  went  aicordingiy.  The  town  was  alarmed, 
ani!  a  mob,  (as  i  uniiersiood  afierwards)  were  liired 
and  made  urunk,  by  t(je  principal  persons  iii  tiie 
town,  effectually  to  prevent  my  preaching  It  was 
in  lue  winter  season,  aidadark  nighi.  Ali  was  qui- 
et tHl  i  gave  out  d  hynii,  tiien  they  a  >prnicbe;l  the 
house,  broke  first  the  window  shutters,  and  lUen 
17   * 


198  EXPERIKKCE    OP 

dashed  the  windows  in.  The  head  of  this  moh  was 
a  i'or^enian,  half  ai)  ideot,  who  had  houn<l  hiniiclf 
under  an  oath,  he  would,  that  nit^ht,  have  my  li>er. 
He  hronght  the  \nye  of  a  large  hellows,  with  which 
he  made  a  rrij^hiful  noise,  and  which  was  to  Fje  the 
instrument  of  my  death.  He  made  what  wa.A  he 
could  towards  me,  hut  was  rather  retarded  hy  the  mul- 
titude that  was  hefore  him.  1  ohserved  him  with  the 
fury  of  a  fiend;  hut  knew  not  well  whvil  to  do.  To 
attempt  to  preach  was  in  vain,  f .  r  1  eoulil  not  he 
heard.  I  stepped  offt'ie  chair,  and  ,y;ot  into  a  cham- 
ber unperceived  hy  iny  enenty.  \!  hen  he  found  I 
was  f?one,  he  insi  I'd  upon  ^oins;  mo  stulfs,  and  it 
was  inipossihie  to  hinder  him,  and  the  uum!)ers  that 
were  Nviih  him.  It  came  into  my  mitid,  -'Gc  down 
stairs — escape  for  thy  ii"e!"  I  went  down  a«d  walk- 
ed into  the  sljoemaker's  shop,  uno'«s<rved  hy  any 
one,  tliough  I  pa'^sed  throuirh  iuirt  of  «hc  moh.  Sooa 
after  he  t;ut  up  stairs,  sear<hed  (he  cl()-ets.  heds, 
chests.  &c.  and  when  he  couUl  nut  find  me,  toHutcd 
at  (he  mouth  like  a  mad  dog.  Then  there  was  a 
cry  in  the  street,  "lie's  in  the  shop!  he's  in  she  slioj)!'* 
I  now  concluded  all  was  over  with  me.  a»Kt  said, 
**Lord,  give  me  strengMi  to  suiferasa  (?hrii'tia!i;  nop 
may  I  count  my  life  dear  unto  myself  f<U'  «liy  sake." 
I  went  under  tlie  shoentaker's  culiing-lward;  mcan- 
tiuie  the  moh  were  long  in  hreaking  open  two  strong 
doi  rs,  that  led  into  the  shop.  They  did  not  see  me; 
but  one  of  them  put  down  his  hand  where  I  was,  and 
cried  out,  ♦•He's  here! — he's  here!"  I  '^ad  now  no 
other  means  to  use;  so  I  committed  myself  into  their 
hands. 

They  hui*ried  me  info  the  house,  and  a  very  stout 
man,  oise  of  those  v4io  had  heen  uiade  drunk  for  the 
purpose.  appr<mched  me;  hut  his  counteijanee  fell; 
he  took  hold  of  m>  hand,  aftd  said.  *'Follow  me."  I 
imagined  he  miended  to  take  me  and  throw  me  into 
the  river,  and  I  was  content.  J  commiiied  myself  to 
the  dis()0!)al  of  a  kind  providence,  expectiiig  nothing 
hut  death.     With  dit&culty  he  got  me  through  the 


MR.   THOMAS    HANBT.  "'  199 

mob;  and  as  he  wns  one  of  (lie  best  boxers  in  the 
town,  nobddy  (luiir  oppose  him.  When  we  came  lo 
the  doop,  he  drew  me  short  by  the  eorner  up  a  nar- 
row street,  put  me  before  him,  and  said,  '•{?un."  I 
made  my  way  to  tlie  fiehls.  &  h^  kept  behind,  keep- 
iii.a;  the  rest  off.  then  !ie!pin^  me  over  walls  and 
hedges,  till  we  imd  !ost  ihem  all.  I  rcn>aiued  in  ihe 
ilelds  till  midil^lit.  and  returned  wisb  a  friend  into 
town,  and  lodged  till  early  in  (he  uiornin-,  when  I 
rode  away. 

After  some  time  I  went  a.^ain  to  Tieek.  stayed  icn 
days,  and  joined  twenty-four  in  a  society.  I'lawver 
then  raised  a  furious  mob.  who  beset  (he  house 
where  Mod-ed.  My  few  friends  kept  them  off  for 
a  eonsiderable  time.  But  at  last  they  lost  al!  pa- 
tience; they  broke  in,  aiid  were  <Ietermi?.ed  to  drag 
me  away;  but  it  pleased  the  Lord  that  a  woman,  who 
then  neither  feared  God  nor  re.^arded  ma/i,  o|:e!ied 
a  window  that  looked  into  the  \ard.  and  desired  me 
to  eome  into  her  house.  Here*  I  stayed  (ill  about 
two  o'ebtek  in  the  morning,  and  then  made  im\  es- 
cape over  the  mountains  to  the  Boiiom  House.  This 
woman  is  yet  alive;  but  she  is  a  nerv  wcman.  and  in 
our  society.  The  next  day  Ihe  mob  were  not  a  liMle 
chagrined  tj  fmd  they  had  lost  their  prey;  and  had 
no  other  way  to  avenge  themselves,  llian  to  burn 
me  in  effigy. 

Soon  after  1  was  pressed  in  spirit  to  visit  Bnrton- 
npon-Treut  once  more.  I'he  mob  soon  gaihered; 
and  had  it  not  been  for  a  peculiar  provideiK  e,  in 
turning  one  of  the  head  of  (henj  on  my  side,  1  be- 
lieve  I  should  have  had  that  oigh?  the  honor  of  mar- 
tyrdom. 

In  weariness  and  painfulnes-.  in  hunger  and  thirst, 
in  joy  and  sorrow,  in  weakness  a-nl  treud)ling,  were 
nv  days  now  speur.  And  I  have  freqne  idy  thought 
il  God  w<»uld  excuse  me  from  (bis  hard  lask.  li.iw 
gladly  should  J  embrace  the  life  of  a  shoe- black,  or 
of  a  she,,:.erd's  boy.  I  was  surrouoded  with  death, 
JUAiicuuia  seidom  ex^ecl  lu  biu'viveanotkerda^,  be- 


20il>  EXPfeRIEHCE    0» 

eaisse  of  (he  Ttirv  of  llie  peojjle.  And  vet  U  was, 
**\V<ie  unl't  ihee.  Ifflmn  [)reach  not  lUe  ;j;osj)ei." 

The  «!!mii!er  foMowina:,  1753,  the  confeipju-p  wag 
heUI  at  Leeds,  wliei'e  I  wasadmiffed  as  a  Ira^elli«»i5 
prejx'her.  The  next  year  I  was  sent  (o  Canterhiiry. 
'M\  lin'c  stock  of  luonev  wi»s  nearlv  exiiaiisted  hy 
the  time  1  li^ot  to  Liiniion;  and.  thouj^h  1»  was  raiher 
too  lona:  a  Journe^y  for  a  wint<M''s  dav.  I  was  under 
a  neeessjf y  to  push  forward. tioi  havina;  money  enouii^h 
to  keep  me  and  my  horse  upon  the  road  all  ni^ht. 
It  was  iihout  eight  o'clock  at  nij^ht  w!»en  I  got  with- 
in si^lit  of  the  lamps  in  the  eity.  Two  men,  with 
larj;e  pistols,  then  ruslied  out  upon  me  from  a  nar- 
row lane,  and  demanded  mv  m  >ney.  They  took  my 
watch,  and  all  the  mone.>  I  had  in  the  w«>r!d,  wiiich 
was  two  shillings  and  ei;j:ht  pence.  (Lsdeed,  snme- 
times,  ifa  halfpenny  would  have  pHrcfiased  the  tiiree 
kingdoms,  I  had  it  not  for  weeks  toilet  her.)  I  he- 
lieve  this  rohhery  was  permitted  for  good  It  was 
at  the  time  we  e.xpeciei!  an  invasion  iVoni  Fraice, 
aiid  the  city  of  Canterbury  was  full  of  scddiers.  They 
were  two  soldiers  who  roh'»ed  me.  and  this  excited 
a  ciii'ii>sity  in  their  comiades  to  hear  the  preacher 
"who  had  i)een  r<d>l>ed:  aud  it  pleased  God  to  eon- 
vitjce  many  of  thein»  Ahxius  ten  ivere  in  society  he- 
fore  this;  and  when  1  came  away  they  were  increas- 
ed to  sixty. 

Several  of  the  foUowint?  years  I  spent  in  Scotland; 
and  I  )hi  k,  this  was  in  ge  sera  ,  the  hap])iest  period 
of  m\  life.  In  17fi3,  hrotiier  ii  iheris  and  I.  cauie 
to  DuMdec:  I  preachc<l  \,i  the  evening,  and  he  ihe 
next  mornng,  wlien  we  ptrted.  1  casne  to  Kdin« 
burg,  and  he  wen«  to  A'lerdeen.  Some  time  afiep, 
I  ha»!  a  str«»g  desire  to  ^ivc  Dundee  a  fair  trial. — 
Aeecu'dingly  1  went  there,  and  stayed  three  or  f«»up 
months,  i  continued  preuciiing  in  tne  ttpen  air  till 
the  tenth  of  Sovemher.  And  it  was  there  Gc»d  met 
Xvilh  many  poor  dinners,  and  truly  awaKened  theut  to 
a  sense  of  (heir  miseru  so  that,  hei-tre  I  lefi  the 
place;  there  were  uear  auiiuudred  joined  in  oiu*  »(!« 


?^R.    THOMAS    HANBY.  20l 

eietj'.  About  <!h«  t^'ie  \Ti'.  hrnkbie  published  Mr. 
Hevicv's  LcMt'i*->,  Wii!»  w  prerapt"  rqual  y  h'Mcr.  Oh 
thf  |ne<  iniis  fonvioions  fh(»*e  Lcdoi's  <!"s{i'nvod! 
"^i  hev  tiuiiJe  me  K)o!>rn  io  seopel  {places.  Vlr,  i  j-skl'ie 
beiiii*-  uuicl)  e^teenxMl  ]n  fhe  religious  worlif.  and 
rei'omineniiiiiir  sIipm*  (hrou^-f*  lite  whole  kifiii,4';iin, 
our  eiieaiii's  ui.r.ie  theh*  advau'Hj^e  oTiliem.  Tliese 
made  (he  late  lady  Gardiner  leave  us.  after  exj)res- 
sirii^  a  (housand  times,  iit  my  heariiiaf.  the  great  ;»ro- 
fit  she  reeeived  l)y  hearing  our  preaeHing.  Many 
were  then  'n'onght  to  the  iHrth;  but  by  those  Letters 
their  eonvictiotis  were  sliiie<l.  What  a  j)it.>,  good 
n»eri  shoiiUI  help  to  destroy  the  real  work  of  God  in 
the  liearis  of  men! 

In  I7H5.  I  was  apjiointed  to  labor  in  the  Leerls 
eipeuit.  Here  tlie  Lord  was  pleased  to  try  m  ,  by  the 
death  "f  a  most  amia'^^k^  wife  and  my  only  ehi^d. 
Oh  how  great  a  debtor  to  that  grate  whieh  fortiids 
our  uiurmuriiig  at  tlie  dispensations  of  pruvidetiee, 
thougli  it  allows  us  to  sorrow,"  but  not  as  men  with- 
out hope. 

In  1766,  T  labored  in  the  Bristol  circuit;  in  1767, 
in  Staffordshire;  in  1768,  in  lied  ford  shire;  in  1769 
and  1770,  in  Newcasile;  in  1771,  in  lldinburg  and 
Glasgow.  From  hence  I  made  a  short  visit  to  my 
old  friends  at  l>iindee:  and,  notwithstanding  the  ma- 
ny difficulties  they  had  to  encounter,  I  found  many 
of  them  serious  and  steady.  In  1772  aod  177a,  I 
labored  in  Staffordshire  again.  In  1774  and  177!?, 
in  Gloucestershire;  in  1776  and  1777,  in  Maccles- 
field. There  the  Lord  was  pleased  again  to  aiiiict 
me  in  a  very  tender  part,  by  making  a  second  breach 
in  myfainijy. 

"Our  lives  are  ever  in  the  power  of  death." 

In  177S,  i  was  appointed  for  Liverpool.  I  am  now 
going  on  in  my  second  year,  among  a  loving,  kind, 
good  people  for  whom  1  feel  the  greatest  affection, 
and  hope  my  weak  labors  are  acceptable. 

Thus,  dear  sir,  I  have  given  you  a  short  aucoutit 


^.ijz  EXPERIENCE    OF 

of*  my  life,  but  fain  I  would  do  somptliing  for  him# 
wlin  has  loved  me  and  j^iven  lnm-«elf  for  me.  Mj 
seotinients  in  relifi;ion  are  Ihe  same  lliev  ever  were. 
1  heiieve  man  by  nature  is  sinful  and  helples*.  Tliat 
bis  only  remedy  is  in  Jesus  Christ,  who  lasted  d«  alh 
for  every  man.  That  the  Holy  Spirit  works  con- 
version in  the  soiiK  and  a  fitness  for  the  kinji;doin  of 
heaven,  by  transforming;  it  intt)  the  imaaje  of  the 
ever  blessed  God.  'I'his  ^onformity  1  most  ar<lent- 
ly  1 01) J5  for;  ami  hope,  dear  sir.  you  will  intreat  the 
Father  of  mercies,  for  jour  affectionate  sou  and  ser- 
vant in  the  gospel, 

THOMAS  HANBY. 
LiTerjwol,  J\*ov.  12,  1779. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


I  WAS  horn  in  May,  1717.  r.t  a  small  village  in 
the  parish  of  Kiglihy.  Yorkshire.  When  1  was 
four  years  old  my  nuMher  died,  and  I  was  removed 
to  her  brother's,  at  Lmt;  Addioj^ham.  Here  I  was 
carefully  restrained  from  outward  sin,  yet  I  often 
felt  an  inclination  to  it,  particularly  to  swear,  which 
one  day  I  did:  but  blessed  he  God,  he  struck  me  with 
so  deep  a  conviction,  that  1  never  swore  again  from 
that  day,  nor  had  the  least  inclination  to  it.  About 
fourteen,  I  was  bound  apprentice  to  one  of  the  worst- 
ed trade,  and  was.  by  a  kin;i  providence,  placed  in  a 
family  where  I  wanted  nothing  that  was  needful  ei- 
ther for  body  or  soul. 

From  my  early  days,  the  Lord  was  at  times  pow- 
erfully working  upou  my  soul.     From  ten  to  eleven 


MR.   TH0MA3    LBE.  203 

years  of  a^e,  T  Avas  exeeedlnjjjlj  cHsfressed.  I  gene- 
ral l;-  «aw,  as  I  thought,  hell  hef  >i'e  inr.  H'.ul  hflieved 
it  was  to  he  my  portion.  The  worJs  everlasting,  a. id 
eternity,  were  niueh  upon  m\  mim!,  insom  uh  that 
my  liTe  hecame  a  buideu  to  me.  For  on  Hie  one 
hand,  hell  apj>eared  iiitolerahle,  an(J  on  the  odier  I 
found  no  delight  in  the  -crvice  of  God,  s;j  tha!  my 
davs  were  consii  ned  in  trouhle.  Fresjueutly  did  I 
mt!!*ni!ir  ai^ainst  God,  and  often  wished  to  he  anni- 
hilated. 

In  this  state  I  continued  till  I  was  fourteen,  <hou2;h 
with  some  intervals.  I  was  then  a  lifflc  more  at 
ease,  and  (ollosve.l  what  are  <Vfiiled  reerealions.  But 
from  lifteen  I  was  more  iuc.llne<l  to  reailinaf.  an  I  i'ov 
some  time  spent  all  m^  vaca  it  hours  in  readin:^  the 
scriptures,  aiid  took  much  j>leasure  therein.  J5e- 
tween  sixteen  and  seventeen.  I  f  »u  d  much  deiii^ht 
in  ifrayer.and  iiad  many  inward  eonsolalions,  though 
I  had  never  then  iieard  any  ojie  speak  ol"  the  eomlorts 
oCtiie  iloly  Gliost.  Bit  havioj;  ni)ne  lo  speak  to 
about  tliese  thiuj^s,  they  s^ralually  died  away.  From 
seventeen  to  nineteen  was  the  most  careless  part  of 
mv  life.  I  now  8<>u.i»hl  pleasure  in  mirth  iin.J  com- 
pany: hut  the  Lord  geueralf^  disappointed  me,  and 
nnide  it  hitter  to  my  soul.  1  u  >uld  not  fi.ida.iy  om- 
panions  to  my  mind.  1  sought  mirth.  Ijul  1  th.;ugiit 
thev  carried  it  to  excess.  And  1  could  not  oear  their 
taking  the  name  of  Go  *  in  vain.  Hence  I  had  much 
sorrow  at  times:  likewise  the  looking  oack.and  see- 
ing what  seriousness  i  had  fallen  from,  cut  uie  to 
the  heart. 

During  this  time  I  now  and  then  heard  that  hiess- 
ed  n>an,  Mr  Grimshaw,  and  made  gi»od  resolutions; 
bu'  they  lasted  not  h'Og.  Meanwliile  1  hat  heard 
of  a  people  called  Methodists,  hut  I  was  little  con- 
cerne'l  about  ihem.  tiii  1  heard  some  oT  them  preai-h. 
I  liked  them  well,  a  id  iieard  them  more  aiid  m-a-e 
frequently.  A  id  thougii  I  was  not  deeply  affcf.ed 
.un  er  anj  parficiiiar  sermon,  jet  my  conscience  was 
gradually  euitgUteued  h^  hearing  uud  reading,  aud 


S04  KXPtRlF.NCE    OF 

conversing?  and  praying.  (iU  I  resolved  *o  cast  in  my 
l(t«  atnoiifr  Otcm  yium  (I,a<  (iiue  ii.\  l>»ar<  vas  so 
united  fo  Jhem,  that  ail  at  oni-4-  I  d  oput'd  all  m.v  t'op- 
nui"  companions.  And  Ijiessed  l)e  (j(>i«,  IVoni  that 
hour  I  have  never  luid  oi.e  de^>^•e  n>  tuiii  hack. 

1  xwvf  \o\ei\  the  hilde  mure  than  ever,  particularly 
tlu-  New  'IVs(an»en<.  This  was  u%\  4!aii,v  cou»;)an- 
ion,  and  in  reading  aiMl  njediiaiinj;  liserein,  I  found 
great  delight.  Atid  l'.ere!i>  I  was  delivered  from  a 
temptiition  t'»  think,  "'rhrse  are  the  faise  prophets 
Me  are  hid  to  hevvare  (d'."  Thi^  vaniMhed  away,  when 
I  compared  theii-  doclrines  and  jtraetiee  wi<h  niv  hi- 
ble.  And  m>  judgmenJ  was  more  fully  and  clearly 
infoPnied.  of  all  the  esr.e»i(ial  doctrines  of  ChrisJia- 
nitv.  And  in  «he  use  of  (iu'se  mea.'is.  (4x1  frequent- 
Iv  met  me  and  coniloried  my  soid.  Iridcc'd  the  doe- 
trii'e  of  salvation  hy  grace  was  un>|»eakahl\  eoin- 
foriahle  to  me.  Vel  shortly  after,  I  sunk  almost  all 
at  once  int«»  a  desponding  suite,  which  coritiiued 
more  than  a  year.  Ami  ih«»ngh  during  this  lime  I 
was  (d'len  comforted,  hoih  under  liie  word  ami  in 
prater,  yet  I  do  not  remendier  •  asking  four  and  twen- 
ty iiours  logeiher,  without  heiug  some  part  of  tlic 
titne  i'i  de-pair.  ^ 

In  this  j)eri<id  I  was  contintially  tempted  to  think 
mvself  a  h.ypocrti-.  Once  IntcMtionel  this  Co  a 
friend,  hut  got  no  comfort  at  all,  which  shu(  my 
rmmth  lor  a  long  time  it  is  imp  !83i!)le  to  ex^.ress 
tlu  anguish  I  i'ei!.  1  longed  for  death,  thougu  I 
knew  1  N>Hs  not  fit  fur  it.  Hut  in  the  midst  of  a!!,  I 
constantly  heard  the  preaching  ut  a!i  "jjportuiJtes, 
and  never  <»mi!!ed  pia/.tr  Wlieii  1  could  >;i\  notli- 
in-,  I  groaned  be'i-re  G«>d:  resolving,  if  I  pcrisied, 
(a-,  t  expected  to  do)  il  should  he  in  the  means  of 
grace. 

Vet  e\en  in  this  period,  the  Lord  did  not  leave  me. 
As  i  ^^';s  one  »iigh(  ofj  my  knees  groaning  heforo 
b?m,  h.ese  wwrds  w«  le  poweriid:^  applied  to  n\y 
80u'.  itiiiu  shait  he.ir  m\  naiuc  s  ef  re  much  people. 
A.ud  tUis  imi>iessiuu  never  after  left  my  uiiuu  ioog 


MR.  awaMAS  Lt:K.  .293 

together,  which  oflen  constrained  ine  to  ]jopc  (hat 
tliC  Locd  would  SMVie  tifne  help  tne.  Also  diirijjj; 
ali  (lii-i  (iiiie.  I  iuid  {'iivour  \vi<h  my  ma«!<er  and  mis- 
4re«s  atiil  a!i  (he  iamii^ ;  althoii^fi  (ijey  did  not  much 
lilvC  the  pi'Ojde  to  whom  I  belonged.  Toward  the 
end  of  (his  ji^Joomy  sv-nson.  one  eveniii^,  when  sit- 
tini^  jn  ilie  house,  I  (ojk  eouea^ie,  rose  up.  and  de- 
sired we  mlf^h«  liave  lamily  prayer.  I  kneeled  down 
(iWii]  so  did  all  tlie  family,)  and  jjrayed  with  j^reat 
Ireedom.  And  I  eoniinued  it.  Ihouf^h  only  an  ap- 
prejitiec,  whiih  proved  a  jiseat  hh^svinaj  (o  my  own 
Soul,  For  i(  ivejjt  nu"  wateurol  ai!  (he  dav  long,  lest 
my  prayer  and  my  'iTe  should  eoniradiet  eaeh  oMier. 

So;>n  afier  I  was  de!?ired  to  pray  in  another  fami- 
ly, which  I  dif!  beViM'al  iinies.  I  had  now  more  hope; 
and  one  day  hein.^  aione  grtjat  part  of  tiie  day,  and 
miieji  engaged  in  tueditaiion  and  prayer.  1  found  a 
persmasioa.  that  God  was  willing  to  receive  me.  I 
left  my  husiness  i-nniediaiely  and  went  to  prayer. — 
h\  a  moment  God  l»roke  in  upon  my  sou!,  in  so  won- 
derful a  nr.itifter,  ti;at  I  could  no  longer  douht  of  his 
forgivi  ig  love.  I  cried,  •vVsy  Lord'and  my  God!'* 
And  in  (lie  spirit  I  wus  then  ir..  I  eould  have  praised, 
and  loved,  and  waite<l  to  ail  eternity. 

Beiore  this.  1  had  attended  several  meetings  for 
praver.  I  was  now  unawares  hrought  to  conduct 
those  meeting*,  and  sonitimes  to  speak  a  few  words 
in  ills  name  wl»om  I  loved.  Wfien  (he  meetings 
were  over,  other*  asked  me  to  come  to  their  houses, 
whieii  1  promised  to  do.  ISat  when  I  came  home  I 
feared  I  iiad  gone  too  far.  and  resolved  to  make  no 
more  such  promises.  One  nigiit  as  f  was  going  to 
a  neighbor's  hoase,  one  of  my  nraster's  daughters, 
who  was  going  with  me,  said,  *«  >Iy  father  antl  mo- 
ther are  not  pleased  with  your  proceedings,"  I  ask- 
ed *'  Wliy,  what  have  I  doner"  she  said,  "  They 
would  not  have  you  go  lo  such  houses.  i5ut  if  you 
thiiik  it  is  yoiii-  duty  to  keep  meetijigs  in  the  neigh- 
boraoosi,  thev  woahl  have  you  keep  them  at  home.'* 

That  ni^ht  my  soul  was  greatly  comforted,  and  f 
1* 


2.06  liXFERIENCE    OF 

gave  notice  of  speaking;  at  home  on  sabhath  evening. 
"We  liad  abundance  of  people,  and  nci({ier  ui^v  mas- 
ter nor  mistress  seemed  to  be  at  all  displeased. 
They  loved  me  dearly,  and  let  me  go  wherever  I 
would.  But  in  the  midst  of  all  these  outward  bles- 
sings, 1  had  many  inward  trials.  Sometimes  1  doubted 
of  my  state;  someiinies  I  feared  1  had  run  before  I  was 
sent,  and  many  tinses  said,  with  Jeremiah,  "I  will 
speak  no  more  in  this  name."  And  thus  I  continu- 
ed for  several  months,  though  many  were  blessed 
and  comforted  in  hearing  me.  Frequently  J  con- 
sulted my  dear  friend,  Mr.  CJrimshaw,  who  strong- 
ly exhorted  me,  "not  to  he  faint  or  weary,  but  to  go 
on  valiantly  in  the  work,  to  which  God  had  called 
me." 

About  this  time  I  was  invited  to  go  to  Harding- 
Moor,  Lingobin  near  Wilsdon,  and  Thornton  above 
Bradforth.  .\s  these  were  places  where  no  one  had 
preached  yet,  1  tbought  if  Gud  would  own  me  here, 
and  raise  up  a  peo|>le  for  himself,  1  shall  know  that 
he  hatJi  sent  me.  He  did  so:  many  found  peace  with 
God,  and  a  society  was  raised  at  each  place.  After 
delivering  these  up  to  the  travelling  preachers,  I 
went  to  Long-Addingham.  There  also  God  was 
pleased  to  set  to  his  seal.  A  society  was  quickly 
raised;  many  sinners  were  convinced,  and  several  of 
them  truly  converted  to  God. 

During  all  this  time,  I  wrought  exceeding  hard  at 
in\  own  business  when  I  was  at  home;  but  the  going 
nj>  and  down  to  preach,  frequently  took  up  m<»rc 
than  half  my  time.  Afier  a  while  providence  called 
iiie  toGreenough  Hill,  to  Hartwith,  and  some  other 
places;  at  each  of  which  it  pleased  God  to  raise  up 
a  people  for  himself.  After  1  had  preached  some 
time  at  Greenough  Hill,  I  was  invited  to  Pateley- 
Bridge.  Here  l  was  called  to  an  exercise  of  my 
faith,  which  I  had  not  hiiherto   known.     The  first 

time  I  was  there,  Mr. had  prepared  and 

encouraged  a  numerous  mob,  who  spared  neither 
jMud  nor  stones,  with  many  strokes  besides,  so  that 


HR.    THOMAS    LEE.  207 

they  themselves  owned,  <' We  have  done  enough  t» 
make  an  end  of  him."  I  did  indeed,  reel  to  and  fro 
and  my  head  was  broke  with  a  stone.  But  I  never 
found  my  soul  more  happy,  nor  was  ever  more  com- 
posed in  my  closet.  It  was  a  ,e;lorious  time;  and 
there  are  several  who  date  their  conversion  from  that 
day.  After  I  was  a  little  cleaned  I  went  to  a  neigh- 
boring town,  where,  when  my  head  was  dressed,  I 
preached  ahroad  to  abundance  of  people,  many  of 
whom  had  followed  me  from  Pateley-Bridge.  Some 
of  the  mob  also  followed,  but  as  the  wrelc'ied  mifi  •« 
tep  was  not  present  to  hedd  them,  and  as  they  were 
greatly  out-numbered,  they  behaved  peaceably.  And 
the  Lord  blessed  us  much. 

Having  now  labored  near  four  years,  and  travelled 
ge'nerally  on  foot;  liaving  been  often  thoroughly  wel, 
and  obliged  to  keep  on  my  wet  clothes  all  day;  and, 
having  frequently,  when  at  home,  worked  at  night, 
that  I  might  not  be  burdensome  to  any:  I  found,  I 
was  not  so  strong  as  formerly.  And  the  number  of 
places  still  increasing,  I  was  obliged,  though  much 
against  my  will,  to  give  up  my  business  atul  buy  a 
horse.  Mr.  Griinshaw  now  sent  me  into  his  circuit 
for  a  month,  sending  another  preaoher  in  my  place. 
Then  1  returned  and  spent  a  considerable  time  toge- 
ther among  the  new  so»'!otic=i. 

In  the  year  17.5 i,  and  during  the  winter  following, 
the  work  of  God  prospered  exceedingly;  but  perse- 
cution raged  on  every  side.  The  malice  of  (he  devil 
was  chieliy  levcllel  against  me,  as  I  was  the  first 
that  disturbed  his  servatits  in  tiiese  parts.  So  that 
wherever  I  wen!  I  was  in  much  dangcj',  carrying  as 
it  were,  my  life  in  my  huiul.  One  da}  as  1  was  going 
through  Pateiey,  the  captain  of  the  mob,  who  was 
kept  in  constant  pay,  pursued  me  and  pulled  me  off 
TLiy  horse.  The  mob  then  soon  coUected  about  me: 
ajtd  one  or  other  struck  up  my  heels,  (I  believe  more 
than  twenty  times)  upon  the  stones.  They  thea 
-^dragged  me  into  a  house  by  the  hair  of  the  head; 
then  pushed  me  back,  with  one  or  two  upon  me,  and 


iW8  BXPERXfcKftt    t>9 

threw  me  ^villi  (he  small  of  my  back  upon  the  ecFj^* 
»r  the  stone  sfairs.  'i'hJs  nearly  broke  my  hai-k; 
and  it  was  not  well  for  many  3  ears  after.  T{ien"e 
they  c!ra.c:;j>>e(l  nie  down  to  the  common  sewer,  which 
*?arries  the  dirt  from  (he  town  to  (lie  river.  They 
I'olied  me  in  it  for  some  time;  then  draj^jjeil  me  to 
the  bridj^e  and  threw  ine  into  the  water.  Tliey  UmI 
me  mostly  on  the  ground,  my  slrenglli  being  <]uit« 
spent. 

My  wife,  with  some  friends,  now  came  np.  See- 
ing;' her  busy  »bout  nse,  some  asked,  ••^Vha(.  are  you- 
a  JVJetliodisl  ?''  gave  her  several  bh)\vs,  wijich  inad*? 
ijer  bleed  at  the  month,  atul  swoie,  they  would  put 
iier  it)to  the  river.  AI!  this  time  I  lay  upon  the 
groinid,  the  nsob  being  undetermined  what  to  do: 
some  cried  out,  •♦Make  an  end  of  him!"  Others  were 
for  sparing  my  life:  but  the  dispute  was  cut  short, 
by  their  agreeing';  to  put  some  others  into  the  water. 
So  they  took  theui  away,  leaving  me  and  n)y  wife 
togetiier — she  esideavored  to  raise  me  up;  but  having 
no  streugtJi,  I  drop;  ed  down  to  the  ground  again; 
she  got  me  up  agaiis,  atsd  supported  use  about  an 
hutidied  „^ards;  tlu-n  1  was  set  on  horse-back,  and 
made  a  shift  t«»  ride  softly,  as  Tar  as  Michael  Gran- 
ger's house:  here  I  was  stripped  from  head  to  foot, 
and  w  as  washed.  I  left  my  wet  clothes  here,  and 
I'ode  to  Greenough  Hill,  where  many  were  wailing 
for  me;  and,  though  much  bruised  ami  weak,  pi-each- 
ed  a  short  sermon,  from  Psalm  x.vxiv,  I'J:  ••3iany 
are  the  troubles  of  the  righteous;  but  the  Loiti  de- 
livereth  him  out  ol  them  all.'* 

The  next  mor^iing  I  preached  again;  afterwards 
several  accompanied  use  a  bye-way  to  ISijith  Fas- 
lure.  There  were  matty  serious  licarcrs;  but  the 
feaptain  of  the  mob  came  and  made  souse  disturb- 
ance; and  then  wstb  a  great  stick,  broke  every  puUK 
of  glass  in  a  large  window.  'J'his  nia<ie  a  I  in  ie  con- 
fusion at  hr.-it;  >>t.ii  af'terv.ar<is  ijic  Liud  p«)ured  sb.wu 
his  bles!sii!g  in  um  ujicoinmon  uiaiUier.  Almost  air4||it 
were  in  ttars,  aiitS  the  i-eupk  look  jo;,iuliy  the  spoH- 


MR.   THOMAS    LJit#  Sfi^ 

iiij*  of  their  ,a;oo«]9.  Thence  we  rode  to  Hartwith, 
where  we  ha<l  peace,  an«l  tlie  power  of  the  Lop(i  was 
with  us.  But  when  the  work  of  the  day  was  over, 
•«I  was  so  l>ruise(l  and  sore,  that  I  was  obliged  to  he 
undressed  by  another. 

This  summer,  autumn  and  winter,  were  times  of 
hot  persecution.     Our   friends  frequently  suffered, 
w)ien  iiiey  went  upon  l)usiness,  to   l*ateley-!5ridj;e. 
Their  clothes  were  spoiled,  and  their  persons  much 
abused.     They  applied  for  Justice  to  the  Dean  of 
Ripj)on,  hut  f«j^u?id   none.     But  what   made  amends 
was,  we  loved  each  otiier  dearly,  and  had  exceeding 
comfortable  seasons  together.     In  .fanuary  I  was  in- 
vited to  preacli   about  a  mile  from  Pateley.     When 
1  came  the  mob  was  gathered.     However,    iu  ihe^ 
name  of  the  Lord  I  began;  and,  thougii  they  blas- 
phemed horribly,  and  broke  the  windtiws,  I  was  not; 
interrupted   or  diseoinposeil,  but  prayed,  preached 
and  concluded  in  peace.     As  soon  as  I  had  ended, 
they  became  outrageous.     I  retired  into  a  chamber, 
and  gave  myself  to  prayer:  while  I  was  on  my  knees, 
one  came  and  informed  me,  the  mob  had  <orce^l  intoi 
the  house,  and  would  quickly  be  in  the  chamber.. 
But  that  I  must  get  out  at  the  window,  and  there; 
were  some  friends  below,  who  would  catch  mc  as.  I) 
fell.     I  did  so,  and  \ve;»t  where  I  had  left  my  uiurc* 
Thus  ti»e  Lord  delivered  me  this  time  also. 

In  a  while,  being  desired  (o  preach  there  again,  I 
fixed  it  in  the  day  litue,  thinking  the  mob  wouhl  not; 
leave  iheir  work  to  disturl)  us.  But  they  soon  ea;UQ, 
and  surrounded  the  house,  so  that  I  could  not  preach;^ 
at  all.     After  J   had  been  kepi  prisoner  for  several; 
Iiours,  I  was  obliged  *o  run  for  my  life.     About  lije 
same  time  I  was  invited  to   GcU'fhit-flall,  where  l? 
preached  in  the  open  air  with  lit  tie  interruption:  but 
wh<  n  I  came  aga  n,  the  Pateley  mob  came,  though 
the  floods  were  out.    When  I  began  to^  preach,  llicy 
were  more  and  more  violent,  till  i  was  forced  to  de- 
sist and  retire,     iieing  resolved  I  should  not  escape 
a^i^(i)>,  tuey  surrouoded  the  iiuuse  Lili  uear  su*isel; — 
18  * 


tlO  BxrsiKiRNCE  or 

then  they  ran  (o  heat  one  of  (he  people.  Our  fjien<t» 
8na(eh«t<i  the  oppoi-iuttit^  wnd  Ijrovij^ht  nie  a  horse, 
whicli  I  imn  edialelv  mounted.  'I  he  inoh  seeing  this» 
left  him  and  pursued  nic  But  again  taod  dchvereil 
ii:e  out  of  their  han<)s. 

Bui  hewriiig  1  uuslo  rreac  h  some  miles  off.  on  t!»e 
ether  side  of  the  water,  the^  immediately  divided, 
(ii  heint;  a  jjreat  flood)  io  the  different  hri'l^es — this 
oiilii;ed  us  to  ride  many  miles  about.  It  heinj;;  very 
dark,  we  lost  our  >vay  upon  the  Moors.  We  wan- 
dereil  till  ue  were  thorouj;iily  wet  with  snow  and 
rain;  hut  late  at  night  found  our  way  to  Tliomas 
Lupton's.  The  eonj^regation  had  waited  for  several 
hours,  being  in  mueh  trouble  for  fear  I  was  killed^ 
I  chani;;ed  M>y  elothes,  and  tiiough  it  was  late, 
preaeheii  to  them  as  the  Lord  enabled  me.  Ji  fceem- 
ed  to  us  as  little  less  than  heaven:  and  though  it  was 
a  hard  day.  it  was  a  blessed  day  to  n)y  sou!. 

I  remember  once,  during  these  seasons  of  troufjle 
wherein  my  life  euntinually  hung  in  susj>ense,  a 
Ihought  came  into  my  mijul,  *«'ri3hard,to  have  no 
respite,  to  be  thus  perpetually  suffering.**  linmedi.^^ 
ately  it  was  impi-essed  upon  my  mirxl, '*Did  yon  not, 
wl»en  you  was  on  the  howlers  of  despair,  };romise 
the  Lortl.  that  i!' he  would  give  you  assurance  of  his 
fa\or,  yuu  would  eounl  no  suifering,  sorrow,  or 
^fiiieiion  too  great  lo  be  endured  for  his  nan)e'» 
sake?'*  This  at  once  silenced  ail  murmuring,  and 
lleneeforih  1  bore  whatever  hefel  me,  with  patience^ 
and  affer  with  joy;  iiuding  a  willingness  to  hear  if, 
as  long  as  he  saw  meet,  if  it  were  to  the  end  of  my 
lite. 

About  (his  time,  1  had  thirteen  or  fourteen  places 
where  1  preached  at  regularly.  And  I  thought  only 
of  spending  my  life  among  them,  when  Mr.  Grim- 
»haw  mentiuf  ed  me  to  you.  You  sent  for  me,  and 
a;jke«^  •» Whether  1  was  willing  to  be  a  travelling 
preaeher?*'  1  said,  "Yes,  if  Mr.  Grimshaw  would 
supply  my  places:*'  whi«'h  he  promised  to  do.  That 
year  1  was  most  Ja  the  iiristol  aad  Ii«eds  tiFcuiUt 


Mit.    THOMAS    LEiE.-  2ff t 

the  next  in  f!«e  T>oe«'s  oircuif  altoijeflter,  wbicp  then 

into  Dei'lnsliiie  on  Ihe  south,  to  Hull  on  ihe  cast, 
and  on  llie  norib  as  far  as  Newton  undei'  Ro8e!)ury- 
toj)r>iri^. 

In  ihe  >par  17P»r,  T  wn^  sra<innrd  in  I-hK'nlr?<*}iH'?r 
Tlie  whole  «'ounfv,  now  divided  into  three,  was  tlicn 
only  in  one  eireuif.  So  I  spent  two  months  in  <he 
eastern  p  it.  aiui  then  two  months  in  the  wesfrM. 
1  was  in  this  eireuit  ahoiit  sixteen  months  in  all. — 
^nt!  I  did  rtot  lahnr  jm  vain.  'JMiere  was*  a  very  con- 
siderable jnerease  \v.  the  societies,  and  many  souls 
were  hron}>;h«  to  the  saving-  knowhMljj;e  of  Go«l. — And 
lhou,u;h  the  ri<ies  were  lonj^,  and  the  work  was  hard,, 
yet  all  was  ma(5e  eiisy  and  ••on)IV'i'iahlc.  The  Lord 
was  greatly  witij  «is,  and  tiie  pedplein  seneral  were 
lovini;  afid  tea<d)a!de:  and  ]  know  cot.  if  f  sUall  evei* 
Jove  a  pcojde  l)etter,  on  this  i-sde  eternity. 

'I'hence  i  remrvefl  into  IV«\vt':i!«i'e  eireuif,  wliieh 
then  included  Fdinlujra;:  to  which  we  went  and  ha«'k 
a^ain.  in  a  fort n ig;h i,  }»<Mie rally  preaeljinj;;  nip;}if  and 
HKjrning;.  1  found  many  ti-ia.ls  in  (his  cireuit;  I)u^ 
the  Lord  delivered  n»e  out  olall.  '['he  next  ;» ear 
I  was  in  the  Mimehester  round,  which  ti  en  cojitair- 
ed  I/ducushire.  Cheshire,  part  of  Shropshire,  and  of 
^Vales,  Slaffordshiie,  and  part  of  Derhy shire,  Onr 
Jahnr  was  hard;  hut  we  saw  much  fruit  of  it.  parti< - 
ularly  at  Mancliesler  and  Bolton.  In  the  latter  part 
of  the  year,  I  was  generally  supposed  to  hf:  fara^orte 
in  a  consumption.  1  was  not  careful  ahotJl  it,  not 
douhtinj^  hut  if  tlie  Lord  called  me,  I  should  linish 
my  course  wilh  Joy  Hut  it  please<l  (iod  to  restore 
jny  health  and  stiength.  May  I  still  glorify  hint 
with  my  ho«'y  and  my  spirit. 

After  some  years  1  went  (accompanied  wilh  my 
wife)  to  fc.dinhus'g.  Mr.  Hopper  lahijred  with  me^ 
It  was  now  Dr.  Krskine  puhlislied  and  recommend- 
ed the  eleveri  Letters  ascribed  to  Mr.  Hervey.  This 
•ccasitMie«I  a  i^oud  deal  of  reproach  for  a  time,  a*  tep 
"irhicU  1  was*  called  a.wa;'  to  iSeweitstk.  TU«  wt"!iitfe- 


^18  &7i:PBRjEKC!B    o» 

er  was  v^^pv  severe.  Dav  after  day  we  liad  various' 
storms,  and  were  haivlly  able  to  aresepve  life.  But 
t)ie  wopsf  wa'',  when  we  ea»ne  to  the  steep  i1es<'-ent 
from  the  rnonnlains  (ca'Ied  (he  Pease)  wliere  the  hill 
had  fallen  into  tlie  «lee]>  !'o;»d,  and  made  it  uMerly 
jm!)assil)le!  This  oMis^ed  us  to  ereep  alon'jj  a  »)ath 
like  a  sheep  track,  hanijcins^  over  a  (\ee\}  vale.  Mean- 
time the  snow  and  wind  hf'at  s(»  furiously  upon  us, 
that  we  knew  not  if  we  should  escape  wi<h  life  Af- 
ter lods;in^  at  old  Ca'nuHis.  (a  m  >st  uneomftrtahle 
inn)  we  went  forward  thron<;h  sharp  frost,  heavy 
snow  heatini^  upon  us,  and  miserahle  roa<ls  to  Aln- 
wiek.  Frt»nj  thence  to  Morpeth  we  had  fair  weath- 
er, hut  the  next  day  was  heavy  rain,  whieh  attended 
us  all  the  way  to  Neweastie.  And  here  I  remaiued, 
fully  employed  till  the  Manehesler  conference. 

In  i760,  I  was  stationed  at  Epworth  once  more. 
This  winter  we  were  invited  to  Newark  upon-Trent. 
But  we  met  with  much  opposition  from  riotous 
mohs,  eneouraj^ed  hy  great  n»en.  On  the  2ith  of 
March,  they  to<d4  the  pulpit  out  of  the  preaching- 
house,  and  burnt  it  in  the  market  place.  I  went 
thither  on  tlie  7th  of  April,  with  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Pool, 
of  North  Searle.  The  preachiui^  was  to  hei;in  at 
two  o'clock;  hut  a  lar^^e  moh  was  there,  before  1  be- 
gan. I  prayed,  and  preached  a  short  sermon.  To- 
ward the  latter  ei»d  of  the  discourse,  Ibey  threw  a 
hirge  quantity  of  eggs  filled  with  bhvod  and  sealed 
with  pitcii,  which  made  strange  work  wherever  Ihej 
a'ighted.  When  they  had  discharged  these  they 
grew  more  outrageous  still.  We  Judged  it  best,  to 
send  to  the  Mayor;  but,  instead  of  coming  to  quell 
the  riot,  he  seat  an  order  for  me  to  appear  be  lore 
him.  In  our  way  to  the  main  street,,  there  was  a 
deep,  muddy  drain.  They  attempted  to  push  uie  in- 
tuit; but  1  caught  hold  of  one  of  tke  mob,  and  held 
him  so  fisi,  that  they  could  not  push  in  ode  without 
the  other.  When  we  came  to  the  Mayor's,  he  sent 
for  the  Town  Clerk.  J  shewed  them  the  act  oi'  tol- 
ei'atiuii;  aud  the  certificate  of  my  ilaeuie,  uhserviu^ 


>Ui.    THOMAS    LKE.  Sl'J 

f  hjul  «]one  noMiinj*,  which  vas  nnj  warraute*!  by 
law.  AHer  much  corivei-sation.  O'lr  Iricmls  {»uve 
•vMfeme  ag^Jiinst  ihrfc  of  the  liaters,  who  weic 
bound  ovei"  to  the  assizvs. 

Some  thounar.ds  of  the  mobbeitij;  ffaMitMeil  in  (he 
street,  I  rcijuesicd  J  he  31ayor  to  >fu(\  an  otfieer  to 
guard  me  through  them.  He  said  he  wouM  ?i;o  him- 
self: and  he  did  go  to  the  .^ate;  hut  \>hen  I  wusj^one 
«»t,  immedialelv  went  haek.  1  uas  jjieseiitly  >ur- 
>'ouride(]:  and  ihev  soon  hej^fajj  to  ihr<.\v  mire,  cloils 
ofeai-ih  and  stoite.  in  abuadaiiee. —  Pliis  thev  eon- 
tiriiied  to  do,  aii«Jonn  the  street,  fill  we  ean»e  to  tiie 
pjeachinj;  house.  Our  fiiends,  judj^in.^  there  would 
be  no  s-afety  there,  hi'ou;j;ht  my  t^reai  coat  into  (be 
stable,  and  advised  me  to  mount  and  p;aMoj)  tbi'ou.^h 
the  mob,  whieh  I  purposed  to  do.  Accordinj^ly  I 
mounted,  but  some  of  them  held  the  gale,  and  «»thers 
beat  both  me  and  my  mare  in  so  \!»jlent  a  manner, 
that  I  tliought  it  would  be  best  to  dismount  and  go 
the  back  way.  15ut  here  also  the  mob  met  me, 
beat  both  me  and  the  mate,  aiul  when  I  endeavoietl 
to  mount,  puiled  me  back,  and  the  mare  got  from 
me.  Then  they  di-agged  ine  along,  sometimes  on 
my  feet,  and  sometimes  on  the  grountl.  to  the  side 
of  tlie  Trent,  swearing  ihey  would  (brow  me  in. 
But  they  were  not  agreed  in  this,  so  they  l)rought 
water,  and  poured  it  up(tn  me,  from  head  to  fool.  A 
painter  then  eame  with  his  pot  and  briisli,  and  laid 
it  on  plant iJuliy.  They  still  surrounded  me,  throw- 
ing dirt  aid  be.'.ting  me,  till  i  eouhl  hardh  stir. 
Then  they  offered  to  let  me  go,  if  I  would  |;romisc 
never  to  come  again.  \}m  this  I  eould  not  do.  Just 
then  a  nsan  eame  eursing,  swearing  and  tisreatening; 
olfended,  it  seemed,  ai  llieir  proeeetlings:  at  which, 
most  oflliein  left  me  a  ui  dispersed. 

J  rose  up,  and  walked  as  well  as  I  could  down  the 
marsh,  a  few  of  the  mob  quietly  walking  with  me. 
]  i"  uud  my  n»a!e  in  a  sla  ding  wa)er:  1  wesit  in, 
touk  ijerand  roiie  oil",  (.'uming  to  a  pond  laligi'-ied, 
iya,S)heU  myself  a  lillie,  a;iU  thea  went  oa  to  >ioi'lh- 


314  EXPERIENCE    Ot 

Searle:  but  it  was  hard  work,  as  the  ni.i;ht  «anie  on, 
and  I  was  very  wet  and  exceeding  cold.  When  I 
j;ot  there,  I  proeufed  some  <Irv  clothes,  and  the 
Lord  gave  me  a  quiet  night.  The  next  day  I  was 
very  sore  and  weak;  however,  1  sat  up  most  of  fhe 
day,  and  in  a  little  time  1  recovered  my  strength, 
and  had  still  more  cau^^e  to  trust  and  praise  God. 

On  July  16,  was  our  trial  at  Nottingham.  But 
the  grand  jury,  sparing  the  rioters  all  ihey  could, 
would  noi  find  the  hill,  lor  disturbing  me  at  public 
worship,  but  only  for  assaulting  me.  They  were  ac- 
cordingly hound  over,  to  be  tried  for  the  assault,  at 
the  next  assizes.  Meantime  an  innumerable  mob 
was  collected,  both  within  and  without  the  court, 
threatening  what  they  would  do  to  me.  I  therefore 
addressed  the  Recorder  for  a  guard:  He  immedi- 
ately ordered  two  constables  to  conduet  me  safe  to 
my  lodging.  The  mob  roared;  but  durst  go  no  far- 
ther. So  I  returned  home  unmolested.  At  the  fol- 
lowing assizes  several  of  the  ri<»tcrs  were  indicted: 
judges  warrants  were  issued  out  and  executed.  lu 
October  my  counsel  and  recorder  agreed  (to  prevent 
all  farther  trouble)  what  each  offender  should  pay, 
after  making  subnti'-sion,  and  promising  to  otfend 
no  more.  The  rec(»rder  then  gave  them  a  very  per- 
tineitt  exhortation,  atid  hearing  the  Nottingham  mib 
was  collected  again,  sent  two  constables  to  guard  me 
to  my  odgin.y^s,  and  ordered  fhem  to  give  the  people 
notice,  that  if  any  man  offeivd  lo  assault  me,  he 
would  immediately  send  him  to  pri»on.  I'husetided 
the  troublesome  affair  at  Newark.  Since  then  the 
work  of  God  lias  prospered  grea*ly.  And  a  c(»nve- 
nicnl  preaching  liouse  has  been  built,  in  which  nu- 
merous congregafioris  meet  without  anv  disiurUance. 

Thus  have  I  given  von  a  few  imperfect  hints  of 
the  manner  wherein  our  Lord  has  dealt  with  me. 
My  whole  life,  partit'ularly  since  1  have  known 
stanething  of  the  savitig  power  of  religion,  has  been 
ai. ended  all  along  with  manifold  trials,  a  Ihonsatid 
limes  more  than  1  have  related :  yet  has  the  Lord 


MR.   THOMAS   LEE.  21  5 

been  exceedingly  j^racions  <o  me,  the  most  unwor- 
thy of  all  his  people.  If  I  this  moment  saw  all  (he 
sulfepinf^s  I  have  ha<l  for  his  name's  sake;  if  they 
wet'C  now  spread  before  me,  I  would  say,  ''Lord,  if 
thou  wilt  give  nie  strength,  J  will  now  hegin  again, 
and  thou  shalt  add  to  tiieni  lion's  dens,  and  fiery 
furnaces,  anil  by  thy  grace  I  will  go  through  them 
all."  My  life,  though  attended  with  matiy  crosses, 
has  been  a  life  «>f  niertties. 

For  more  tjjan  twenty  years,  I  have  rarely  preach- 
ed the  controversy  between  the  Caivinists  and  Ar- 
minians.  f5ut  my  judgment  is  fixt:  I  have  no  daubtj 
either  of  Christ's  tastitg  death  ft)r  evei-y  man.  or  of 
his  being  able  and  willing  to  sae  to  the  uttermost, 
all  (hat  come  unto  God  through  him.  I  couiit  it  one 
of  the  greatest  favors,  that  he  still  allows  me  to  do 
a  little  for  him.  and  tijat  he,  in  any  measure,  owns 
the  little  which  I  am  al)le  to  speak  in  his  name. 
I  beg  1  may  be  humble  at  his  feet,  all  the  days  of 
my  life,  and  may  be  more  and  more  like  him  wJiom 
my  soul  loveth,  till  at  last  1  rtign  with  him  in  glory! 
1  am,  dear  sir. 

Your  willing,  though  unworthy 
Servant  in  the  gospel, 

THOMAS  LEE, 

October  SO,  1779. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


i  WAS  born  in  the  year  1758,  at  Harthill,  in  the 
West  Riding  of  Yorkshire.  At  tour  years  of  age  I  had 
learned  the  catechism,  and  had  repeated  it  before  the 
minister  in  the  church. 

About  that  time  I  had  a  narrow  escape;  being  near  the 


•21 G  eXpeuienoe  op 

edge  of  n  deep  pniui,  mj  foot  slipped,  and  I  plunjed  is.- 
Itu'  recoverit'g  mjself,  I  stiuegled  to  the  t-ide,  and  iavinj>- 
li(-iii  Of,  PoniK  weeds,  got  out,  no  one  being  near  t'lat 
Gould  give  me  Rny  a«sistance. 

\n  the  sixth  3 ear,  1  hud  read  the  bible  thro'jgli  several 
liuios,  and  other  book«*  that  came  in  uiv  way;  paiticularly 
thi>  h''<;tory  of  the  suirei  ings  of  the  protestaiifs,  in  the  vai- 
lie- nf  Piedmont;  which  fixed  in  me  an  averhii>n  to  the 
f!i  iiicirde;-  of  (he  church  of  lituDe.  Auiorig  the  piacticaJ 
trcijiise;?  in  thi  hietory,  wa-  a  Caveat  against  dancing, 
V  herein  was  a-^serte-.f,  that  ''iVvery  step  a  dancer  takes,  it 
a  step  to  heii."  rhis  so  aiibcted  oie,  that  no  iuducement 
couid  ev;erpievaii  upon  me  to  attend  the  dniicin^j-Hch'io!; 
which  i  e-iteqin  a  singular  tnoicy,  aii  it  prevented  cowtiec- 
tions  that  mig'it  have  |)roved  very  pernicious. 

Ofie  da\  I  wantonly  threw  a  stone  and  killed  a  youn^ 
bird,  belonging  to  ;t  neigiibour.  Though  no  one  saw  me, 
yei  for  several  flights  I  had  little  sleep.  Tiie  idea  «f  the 
bird's  expiring  in  agonies,  througli  my  wickedness,  tilled 
jr.e  uith  inexpressible  anguish.  I  wouid  have  given  a 
great  deal  to  have    restored  the   little  creature   to  life. 

IVars  anfl  prayers  to  God  f(»r  pardon,  and  promises 
to  oil'ettd  him  no  more,  was  the  only  way  wherein  L  foutid 
reliv'f. 

Aly  parents  taught  me  early  the  fear  of  the  Lord,  as  far 
as  they  knew;  &.  though  tlieir  in-itiucHons  were  tedious  Sc 
irksome,  yet  they  made  an  impression  on  my  mind  that 
Tvas  never  lost,  but  ofien  recurred  wiien  I  was  alone,  or 
in  places  of  lemptation. 

Our  Minister  was  a  pious,  venerable  man,  and  per- 
formed his  duty  vi^ith  a  solemnity  that  often  struck  me 
with  awe  «-f  the  divii.e  presence  :  particularly  when  he 
was  reading  the  burial  servicr?.  I  frt-quenUy  had  a  dis- 
tant prospect  of  judgment  and  eternity.  1  was  agreea- 
bly affected  with  thunder  and  ligh.tning.  it  filled  uie 
Vvith  a  sen«ie  of  God's  majesty  and  power:  for  which  rea- 
son 1  would  get  in  the  midst  of  it,  though  ever  so  dread- 
ful, if  I  was  not  prevented,  that  I  might  eijjoy  the  whole 
rej'ort,  and  »ee  the  full  blay.e. 

In  mv  seventh  year,  I  lost  all  relish  for  learning,  and 
ctJiitractvd  se  trai  evil  habits.  The  two  folhiwinj.  years, 
my  time  at  schtml  was  spent  to  little  purpose;  part  of  tids 
I  attribute  to  the  being  tuo  early  taught  tu  read,  and  tuo 


M«.   «EORGE    STORY,  *l7 

ciose.  application  to  it;  and  part  to  (he  want  of  a  proper 
master,  who  could  suit  mv  genius  and  engage  my  curios- 
ity for  useful  knowledge.  But  mv  master  (lyiog,  and  be- 
ing succeeded  by  one  whose  ability  and  method  were 
adapted  to  my  capacity.  I  !?o<>n  recovered  my  thirst  tor 
Jearning,  and  n\ade  con^siderable  impr!tve;nent  therein. 

Before  I  was  well  able  to  carry  a  gun.  I  wa^  fond  of 
«ho(iting;  till  being  out  one  day  in  the  fields,  my  gun  went 
oflTat  half  ccck,  and  was  within  a  very  little  of  kilting  my 
brother;  this  filled  me  with  such  horror,  that  I  could  not 
endure  that  exercise  any  more. 

When  I  uas  about  ten  years  of  age  God  began  to  re- 
vive his  work  of  grace  in  and  about  Sheffield;  the  rumor 
of  which  spread  into  our  village,  and  occasioned  serious 
reflections  in  themitidsof  many.  One  evening  as  I  was 
hearkening  to  t'le  conversation  of  my  parents  on  that  sub- 
ject, 1  was  struck  with  an  observation  they  made,  that 
prayer  was  nothing  unless  the  mind  was  stayed  on  God, 
At  night  when  I  repeated  my  customary  prayers,  1 
watched  my  thou;jhts  narrowly,  and  soon  found  thVt  they 
wandered  from  the  Loid  all  the  time.  Tliis  discovery 
deeply  affocted  me:  I  strove  with  all  my  might  to  think 
on  God  as  being  piesent,  seeing  and  heariiig  me:  and  af- 
ter repeated  efforts,  through  grace,  I  prevailed.  1  now 
began  to  delight  in  duties;  to  pray  fervently  and  feeling- 
ly, with  or  without  a  form,  and  many  times  the  Lord  an- 
swered me  in  such  a  manner  as  cleaily  convinced  me  of 
his  omni>cience  and  omnipresence.  I  read  tiie  bible 
with  pleasure  and  profit;  tie  sufferings  of  Christ  filled 
me  with  wonder  and  gratitude,  as  I  now  understood  that 
he  endured  them  all  for  my  sins,  and  to  save  my  soul  from 
eternal  destruction.  Reading  in  the  thii  ty-ninth  article, 
that  justification  was  by  faith,  1  endeavoured  to  cast  my 
soul  upon  the  Lord  in  the  best  manner  I  was  able,  and  at 
times  was  peisuaded  that  he  had  forgiven  all  my  trespass- 
es. Though  I  had  never  heard  any  of  the  Methodist 
preachers,  yet  fi  om  that  time  I  felt  an  esteem  for  them* 
and  notwithstanding  they  were  loaded  with  all  manner  of 
reproach,  and  represented  in  the  most  detectable  li^ht 
those  calumnies  only  increased  my  regard  for  »hem."be- 
cause  1  understood  that  true  Christians,  in  all  firmer 
ages,  had  met  with  the  same  treatment  from  the  world. 

Having  acquired  all  the  learuing  that  was  taught  at  a 
IS 


KXPRRIF.VOE    OF 

■"country  school;  mj  friends  began  to  think  ofputtin*  me 
to  some  business.  Guiii«»  one  t\ay  to  a  bn-kseHei  's  <»hop, 
in  a  neighbouring  maiket  tuvn.  1  got  acquainted  with  him, 
and  my  friends  acce|iting  «)f  his  proposal,  1  so^n  after 
went  with  him  to  his  place  of  lesideiice.  This  introdu- 
ced me  into  c  mpany,  and  expn'^ed  me  to  temptations  I 
never  knew  before:  and  yet  the  spirit  of  God  stiove  with 
tne  more  than  ever:  alnntst  cve'y  night  I  wa^  called  ti»a 
st' irt  account  by  that  inward  nonitor.  and  rppro\pd  for 
the  faults  of  the  da\:  and  I  c<iuhl  seldom  sleep,  till  with 
prayers  and  tears  I  had  implored  mercy,  and  in  some  de- 
gree obtained  it  from  the  Lord:  and  in  this  manner  I 
went  on  tor  about  a  year. 

I  had  often  been  tempted  with  the  doctrine  of  predes- 
tination, but  now  the  tempter  drew  me  insensibly  into  it; 
he  continually  suggested,  that  if  I  was  to  be  sa^ed,  I  cer- 
tainly should,  live  as  I  list;  b'lt  if  I  v\a>*  ordained  to  be 
damned,  there  was  no  lemedy:  God  himself  could  not 
gave  me;  and  therefore  it  was  mere  f<  lly  to  give  myself 
so  much  concern  about  it.  IJtit  although  thesp  suggestions 
tended  to  stupify  my  con>cierice.  and  hardpo  my  heart, 
vet  I  was  mote  uneasy  than  ever.  The  Methodists  at 
that  time  were  few  and  feeble;  they  had  seldom  any 
travelling  preachers;  I  somctinies  attended  their  prayer 
meetings,  and  often  follovi  ed  theot  up  and  down  the  lowrtj 
hoping  they  would  turn  and  speak  to  me;  but  none  to<>k 
any  notice  of  me.  1  was  left  alone  to  struggle  with  sin 
and  satan. 

Or.e  day  hearing  a  preacher  was  to  be  there,  I  attend- 
ed: but  he  did  not  come.  Upon  thi.-»,  one  of  the  local 
preachers,  who  was  then  a  Calvinist,  gave  an  exhotia- 
tion:  in  which  he  fairlv  repeated  the  words  that  >atan 
had  so  often  suggested  to  mc,  viz.  that  if  we  were  to  be 
saved,  we  could  not  possibly  peri>h;  and  if  we  w^  re  to  be 
damned,  there  was  no  help  for  U'i.  This  ma(!e  a  d^ep 
impression,  and  confirmed  all  that  the  ('e\il  had  been 
preaching  to  me  for  years.  I  believed  the  honible  dic- 
trine,  and  from  that  time  determined  to  give  myself  as 
little  M()u!tle  a*  •  o>i-ible  abotit  leligitm. 

Being  surr  unded  with  bdoks.  1  *  ead  the  first  that  came 
to  hand,  histu.ies,  novel>,  plays,  and  romances,  by  doz- 
en-; but  they  only  pleased  while  ny  eyes  weie  i.pon 
them,  and  afterwards  furnished  matter  for  a  thousand 


MR.    GEORGE    STORY.  219 

vain  imaginations.  1  then  read  the  lives  of  the  Heathen 
pliilosop'iers,  with  a<imiration.  and  determined  to  copy 
after  thera.  I  perfected  mvself  in  geometry  and  trigo- 
nometry; then  I  learned  Macauley's  short  hand;  soon 
after,  geography  and  a-tronDiny.  together  with  botany, 
anatomy,  j^hvsic,  aiid  several  branches  of  natural  philoso- 
phy. 6  ;ce  1  intended  stuuvins;  law,  and  read  a  great 
deal  in  the  statute^  at  large,  and  other  law  books:  but 
the  su!>je(.t  was  t<ndrv  and  unentertaining  for  one  of  my 
desultory  di-p  t>iti  »ri.  I  cnu'd  recollect  reading  over 
th-ee  hundred  volumes,  of  one  kind  or  another  (some  of 
then  were  large  foli  ss)  before  I  was  sixteen  years  old. 
My  passio  1  for  bjoks  u  a-,  insatiable.  I  frequently  read 
till  ten  or  eleven  (t'clock  at  night,  and  be2;an  again  at  four 
Or  five  o'clock  in  the  morning;  nor  had  I  paiieuce  to  eat 
my  meat,  unless  1  had  a  bo  tk  bef»re  me. 

But  about  this  time  I  was  weary  of  the  shop;  and  en- 
tered the  prititiiig  office.  This  opened  a  new  scene  of 
ti;ings,which  pleased  me  for  a  season.  I  was  determined  te 
b"  a  c  MHplete  master  of  mv  busineis,  &,  in  about  two  years 
was  able  to  acci»m))lish  my  day's  work  in  six  hours,  so 
tliat  I  had  much  time  upon  my  hands  for  study  and  re- 
creations. 0;ie  sumn-ier  I  was  an  angler,  and  attend- 
ed the  rivers  early  every  morning;  but  this,  after  a  few 
Tooiiths  trial,  b-ought  uie  neither  pleasure  nor  profit. 
The  next  sum  ner  I  c  mimenced  fl  irist,  took  a  garden, 
wa^.  pa-sioiialeiy  fond  of  aviriculus,  polyanthoses,  &c. 
Bu'  tills,  too,  soon  giew  insipid;  happiness  was  not  to 
be  fiund  in  these  pursuits.  In  tiie  midst  of  my  reading 
I  met  with  s 'me  'leistical  authois;  I  lead  and  reasoned, 
till  the  bible  grew  not  only  dull,  but,  I  thought  full  of  con- 
tradictioiis.  I  staggered  first  at  the  divinity  of  Chi  ist; 
and  at  length  gave  up  the  bible  altogether,  and  sunk  into 
fataliam  and  deism. 

This  new  light  promised  great  satisfaction.  I  thought 
myself  much  wiser  than  others;  but  alas,  it  soon  led  into 
a  dreary  labyrinth!  My  ideas  if  Gtd  and  religion,  were 
quite  confounded;  I  felt  the  wretchedness  of  my  heart 
but  could  discover  no  way  to  escape  from  it. 

About  the  age  of  eighteen,  the  management  of  the  prin 
ting  office  tell  to  my  share.  I  had  a  weekly  newspaper 
to  publish,  all  the  •  a-agraphs  to  select  from  the  public 
prints,   the  advertiaeiueuts  to  prepnre,    the  pregs  to  cor 


aso 


EXPFMIBNeS   OF 


rcct,  and  the  journeymen  and  apprentices  to  superintend. 
Tlii-  flattered  my  \ai.ify,  increased  my  nathe  pride,  and 
Cdii^iqueiitly  It-d  me  fiathei  from  God.  I  then  bought 
happiness  in  caid  playif'^;  Lut  after  repeated  trial.",  it 
•I  p«"ared  >>ucli  a  s-illy  waste  of  time,  and  «(»  opposite  to 
eommon  sen^e,  that  I  wan  oblifjed  to  give  it  tip.  Tv%iceor 
thrice  I  ^of  info  com|»ariv,&,  ua»  intoxicated  «iih  rKjuor; 
kilt  in  the  midst  of  this  fnilv  I  saw  it-  madness,  and  turn- 
td  fmnj  it  «ith  abhoneiice.  I  likewise  saw  its  ruinout 
tonsequences  iti  thi  se  I  wa«>  daily  surrounded  with. — 
Hov*e\er,  1  Imped  a  hor-e  race  was  a  more  manly  and 
rafioiial  amusement:  I  therefore  attended  the  races  at 
Doncahter.  with  the  mo>t  flattering  expectation  of  the 
happiness  I  slutuld  find  that  week.  The  fn>t  day  van- 
Y  ished  away  without  hdv  satisfaction;  the  second  wassiill 
^or-e:  a-  I  pas.««ed  through  tlie  compaiiv.  dejected  and 
di>appointed,  it  occurred  tr)  my  mind,  "what  is  all  thii 
immense  multitude  as«.embietl  here  for?  to  see  few  hor>e» 
gallop  two  or  three  times  round  the  course,  as  if  the  dev- 
il was  both  in  them  &  their  i  jderslCertainlv  we  areall  niad; 
we  are  fit  for  Bedlam,  if  v\e  imagine  that  the  Almightjr 
made  us  for  no  oiher  purpo>e  but  to  seek  happiness  in  such 
senseless  amu-ementx!''  I  was  ashamed  and  confounded, 
and  determined  never  to  be  seen  there  any  more. 

^^  hen  I  was  twenty  years  old,  I  was  glad  of  the  oppor- 
tunity of  seeing  London.  I  went  up  full  of  the  mo>t  san- 
guine expectatio'is  of  finding  the  happiness  I  was  in  >earch 
of,  and  therefore  lost  no  time  in  seeing  and  hearing  every 
thing  new  &  curious  that  I  could  ii,ain  access  to.  But  new 
things  quickly  grew  old,  and  the  repeated  sight  of  them 
soon  proved  disgustful. No  happines>  followed;  but  a  great 
anguish  of  spirit,  whenever  1  attended  to  the  sensations  of 
my  own  mind.  Then  I  would  gladly  have  travelled  into 
any  part  of  Europe  or  x\merica,  hopioga  c<  ntinual  change 
of  scenes  would  sarisfv  me.  But  it  was  war  time,  and  I 
eould  not  embark  for  Holland  with.iut  a  passport  from  the 
secretary  of  state,  which  I  did  not  know  how  to  procure. 

At  length  I  resolved  t»  trv  if  religion  would  aftord  mc 
any  relief.  I  went  to  several  places  of  worship,  but  e\en 
this  was  in  vain;  there  was  somethingdull  and  disagreea- 
ble, wherever  I  turned  my  eves,  and  I  knew  not  that  the 
malady  was  ii\  my«elf.  A*  length  I  f(mnd  Mr.  W  bitfield's 
chapel,  in  Tottenham  court-road,  and  was  agreeably  en- 


aia.    GBORGE   STORY.  22l 

tertained  with  his  manner  of  preathing;  his  discourses 
were  »<»  engaging,  thitt  when  I  retired  to  my  lodgings,  I 
wrote  dovvn  the  substance  of  them  in  mv  journal,  and  fre- 
quently read  them  •)ver  with  pleasure;  but  still  nothing 
reached  my  case,  nor  had  I  any  light  into  the  state  of  my 
soul.  Meanli^ue  on  the  week  nights  I  went  to  the  thea- 
tres; nor  could  I  discern  any  difference  between  Mr. 
Wiiiffield's  preachin';;  and  seeinga  good  tragedy. 

Being  now  weary  of  every  thing,  and  every  place  being 
equal  to  me,  (for  I  carried  about  with  me  a  mind  that  was 
never  at  re^t)  I  embraced  the  invitation  wf  my  friends, 
and  returned  into  the  country.  I  was  kiodly  received, 
and  s»oiicifed  to  enter  into  business  ftr  myself.  But  re- 
flectin-^  that  I  was  young  and  inexperienced,  I  declined 
the  offVr,  and  engaged  with  a  person  to  manage  his  prin- 
ting office.  I  was  now  in  an  agreeable  situation.  I  wan- 
ted for  nothing.  1  had  more  money  than  I  knew  what  to 
do  with.  Yet  notwithstanding  I  was  as  wretched  as  I 
Could  live,  without  knowing  either  the  cause  of  this  mise- 
ry, or  any  way  to  escape. 

I  had  now  f(»r  some  years  attempted  to  regulate  mj 
conduct  accoidingto  reason;  but  ala-)!  I  stood  condemn- 
ed in  a  tliousand  instances,  even  at  the  bar  of  that  partial 
judge.  From  my  infancy  [  was  exceeding  passionate; 
and  this  evil  grew  upon  me,  and  caused  bitter  reflections 
on  varitius  occasi(ms,  I  knew  that  anger  was  a  paroxysm 
of  madness,  that  it  was  contiary  to  reas-  n  in  every  res- 
pect; 1  theref  ire  guarded  against  it  with  all  my  o>ight. 
Simetiines  I  conquered;  and  those  transient  victories 
greatly  plea-«ed  me;  but  if  an  unexpected  temptati'-n  sud- 
deiilv  occuned,  all  my  resolutions  were  but  a*  a  tlnead 
of  flax  before  the  fire;  and  m^  behaviour  was  more  like 
that  of  an  enraged  wi.d  beast,  than  of  a  rational  creature. 
Sixnetimes,  when  among  facetious  company.  I  endeav- 
oured to  catch  theii  spirit.  But  m  the  nii<lst  of  levity 
1  .au  a  dread  upon  me.  Ex|)e.ience  taught  me  that  their 
laughter  was  madness.  As  soon  as  I  returned  to  sober 
thoughts,  I  found  my  feigned  miith  left  a  melancholv 
up'n  my  mind.  And  thi»  was  succeeded  eithei  by  ■storms 
of  i>as3ion,  or  an  aversion  even  to  life.  U  .  ing  tins  dark 
nig  It  ot  ap.'stacx ,  1  install  lenembrance  of  God's  form- 
er g"..dne>».  1  wandered  to  different  places  of  religious 
"worship,  but  found  buffioient  maitei  every  where  to  be 
19  » 


S2S  tXPERIK.VCE    OF 

ilisgusfeil;  at  lengtli  I  forsook  them  nil,  ami  on  9un<lar» 
Confined  invself  to  inv  room,  or  retired  to  the  centre 
of  a  neighbouiin;;  wood.  Here  I  con^ideicd,  with  the 
rltsest  attention  I  \va-«  able,  the  arguments  for  and  against 
dei<in.  I  would  gladly  have  given  credit  to  the  christian 
revelation, but  could  not.  My  reason  leaned  to  the  wroi'g 
side,  and  involved  me  in  endless  perf)lexities.  1  likewise 
endeavoured  to  fortify  my«elf  with  stronger  arguments 
nnd  fhnier  residutions  against  my  evil  tenipers;  for  .since 
I  could  not  be  a  christiati,  I  wished  however  to  be  a  good 
moral  heathen.  Internal  angui>*h  frequently  CMmjielleJ 
me  to  supplicate  the  divine  bfingft»r  mercy  and  truth;  I 
seld  'm  gave  over  till  my  heart  was  melted,  and  I  felt 
sometliing  of  God'-*  presence.  But  I  retained  those  gra- 
cious impressioiig  oidy  f i  r  a  short  time. 

Being  employed  in  abiidging  and  printing  the  life  of 
Eugene  Arum,  who  was  hunu;  in  chains  at  Knarsborough, 
for  tnurder,  1  observed  that  by  intense  application  he  at- 
tained to  a  prodigious  knowledge  in  the  sciences  and  lan- 
guages. 1  was  so  eniiaged  with  this  account,  that  1  <le- 
(ermincd  on  the  «iame  acquisitidus:  vainly  imagining  that 
as  I  had  the  desire,  so  I  had  the  capacity  to  learn  every 
thing.  While  I  was  inusing  upon  the>ie  matters,  and  fix- 
ing the  plan  for  my  future  proceedings,  the  following 
thoughts  fastened  upon  my  mind,  und  broke  in  pieces  all 
tnv  schemes.  "The  v\isd,)m  of  this  world  is  foolishness 
vifh  G"d.  What  did  this  man's  wisdom  profit  him.''  It 
did  not  save  him  from  being  a  thief,  and  a  murderer;  no, 
jior  from  attempting  e\en  his  own  life.  True  wisdnm  is 
foolishness  with  men.  He  thai  will  be  wise,  must  first  be- 
coine  a  fool,  that  he  may  be  wise!"  I  was  like  a  man 
awakened  out  of  sleep.  I  was  astonished.  I  felt  myself 
-vr  ong.  I  was  conscious  I  had  been  pursuing  a  vain 
shadow;  and  that  God  only  could  flirect  me  into  the 
Ti*^ht  path.  I  therefore  applied  to  him  with  earnest  im- 
portunity, entreating  him  to  shew  me  the  true  way  to 
nanpine-s;  which  I  was  determined  to  follow,  however 
difficult  or  dangeious. 

Just  at  this  time  a  work  of  grace  broke  out  in  the  vil- 
lage where  I  was  born,  through  the  labours  of  a  pers<jn  re- 
markably zealous  for  the  cause  of  God.  My  mother,  in 
particular,  was  deeply  convinced  of  the  trutli,  which  she 
soon  experienced,  and  retained  the  life  and  power  thereof 
to  her  dying  day.    She  >vas  much  cyncerned  for  me,  bop- 


MR.    GEORGE    SlORt.  2^ 

5r«»  if  [  could  be  brought  amang  religious  pergons,  I  «iliould 
likewise.  so>»n  be  c^Mviiiceci.  Sue  tlierefitre,  bv  an  ac- 
r|iiaiMtaiice,infreatecl  nie  to  converse  witfithe  Mdhodi^ts. 
1  answered,  '-if  niy  mother  desires  it  1  will  \isi(  theiti 
with  all  my  heai  t>  The  fi;st  tisne  1  entered  a  Mot'io- 
dist'.  house,  tliej  went  to  prayer  witii  me,  and  for  ir.e,  a 
considerable  time.  I  looked  uptm  them  a^  well-uteaning 
ignorant  people,  and  thought  no  more  about  the  maiter. 
In  a. few  day;,  they  desir  d  1  would  come  and  see  (hem 
again.  Considering  ir  was  my  mothei'-.  tequest,  I  went, 
■without  hesitation.  1  f.iund  lour  or  five  [iersons  in  the 
hou^e,  with  whom  I  di-.puted  about  religion  for  some  hours, 
till  1  had  fairly  weaiied  them.  1  hey  lab  uied  to  co  uiiice 
me,  th  it  1  wa^  a  sin;ier,  and  in  danger  of  eternal  death. 
if  I  did  not  repent  and  return  to  God.  Tlie>e  were  sub- 
jects I  had  no  kind  of  idea  of;  and  as*  their  arguments 
were  only  suppoi  ted  by  scriptuie.  for  w'uich  I  had  verjr 
little  regaid,  all  they  said  made  not  the  lea»t  impres- 
siiin. 

As  I  wasabo'jt  to  withdraw,  not  a  little  elevated  with 
my  ima-iinary  victory,  one  of  the  company  desired  to  a>k 
ine  a  f<  w  questi<ms,  the  first  was,  '-Are  you  happ>.?"  My 
Countenance  instantly  fell,  and  I  a.svered  from  the  dic- 
tates "f  my  conscience,  '-No:"  she  then  enquired,  if  I  was 
iiotde>irous  of  fittding  h.ippine-s?  I  replied,  it  had  bt^en 
niy  pursuit  ever  -ince  [  could  remember:  that  I  was  wW- 
ling  to  obtain  it  on  any  te.ms,  ;ii!»l  tliat  I  had  soojiht  ^or 
it  every  way  I  could  think  of,  hut  in  vain.  She  th<n 
shewed  me  the  true  way  <if  obtaiiiing  tiie  hap;  ine»-  I 
■wa'ited,  assuri  g  me  if  I  soug'^t  the  Loid  witn  all  my 
heart  I  •hould  cei  taioly  fir.d  in  him  that  peace  and  plea- 
suie  which  the  world  cojld  not  be-itow.  Eveiy  w*;rd 
sunk  deep  into  my  mind;  and  from  that  moment  1  never 
lo^t  my  convictions,  nor  my  resolutio/is  to  be  truly  devo- 
ted to  God. 

'I  immediately  broke  off  all  connections  with  my  com- 
paiiions;  threw  my  useless  b  oks  into  the  fire;  and  sought 
the  Lord  with  all  my  might.  Isoon  di«coveied  the  impor- 
tance of  the  scripi^'ure  ;  that  there  was  no  oihec  leveia- 
tion  of  the  divine  iviP  to  ma'kiv.ris;  that  I  must  credit  the 
truths  contained  tiierein,  howev.-r  opposite  thev  appealed 
to  my  own  vitiated  reason.    I  found  luy  reason  had  been 


^34  EXPRHIENOB    Ot 

♦leceived  ami  corruptc<l  by  the  su'^u.'^^floris  (tTan  enemv, 
ai:(l  that  1  coui'l  tni^t  it  no  inoio,  till  it  v\as  ieiie.\e«|  Ijj 
grace:  that  my  memory  wa*  fiiliMl  with  a  train  of  I'aUe 
itlear",  eveiv  mdinent  prt'stvitinj^  tlieinseive^,  ami  leailiug 
me  fr(im  God;  and  that  my  UIlder^tanding  v>,as  tutallj 
dark,  till  divine  iluminatiorj  should  visit  me. 

Rcadinj;  Mr.  HorvevN  dial(t;^uc«<,  this  lijjht  shone  upon 
me,  and  1  wa-  much  deli^itted  with  the  di-covery  of  the 
divinity  of  V.'hri-',  and  tiie  atonenuMit  which  he  made  for 
sinner-.  Ab(»ut  thi-  time  I  heaid  M  .  Fu-il  preach;  his 
di-coui  se  Wis  suited  to  one  in  mv  stafe,  a:id  flie  power  of 
mv  evil  reasoningH  wa-*  su-^pended  wnile  he  «le-ciibed 
the  wiirk  of  tirace  in  the  soul.  1  <d\v  the  way  of  j'intifi- 
cati'in  and  full  sanctiluation  so  clearly,  that  1  could 
trace  tl>e  path  a-,  if  it  had  been  a  road  delineated  in  a  map. 

The  next  di-c  ivcry  I  ha«l  wa»  the  hardoer^s  of  mj 
heart:  this  called  oP  my  attention  from  every  thing  else: 
neither  fears  nor  jovs.  heaven  or  hell  made  any  i  upres-<ion 
on  il:  I  often  thought  that  satan  himself  could  n  >t  pussi- 
blv  have  a  more  obdurate  heart. I  found  it  wa^*  full  of  pride, 
ambition,  anger,  evil  desire,  unbelief,  and  every  thing  that 
was  vile  and  vain.  Being  invited  to  join  the  society,  I 
glidly  enibraced  the  opportunity,  and  fouml  much  er.» 
couragement  to  seek  the  Lord,  notwithstanding  all  the 
wretchedness  I  felt  in  myself. 

Attending  to  the  expeiience  of  the  people,  I  observed 
that  almo>t  all  of  them,  during  the  time  of  conviction, 
were  exce-ci-ed  with  hoi  rible  fears  and  terrors;  and 
thence  I  conclude<t.  it  wa-  necessary  I  should  have  the 
same.  For  at  that  time  I  did  not  know,  that  frequently, 
those  distracting  term  •  were  from  the  enen)y,  in  e  der 
to  drive  the  soul  into  despair.  Itherefoie  u.-ed  everj 
nietliod  to  bring  myself  under  dreadf  1  apprehensions; 
hoping  this  would  break  my  stubborn  heart:  but  I  f.uold 
ne.er  find  that  i/ind  of  experience.  After  several  weekg 
struggling  with  this  obduracv,  at  last  I  resigned  myseifto 
the  Lo'd,  when  he  was  plea-ed  to  regard  my  distress;  and 
while  W.  B  amn:ah  was  at  p'ayer,  the  s(,f  eoing  power  of 
grace  de-cended  a  .d  removed  thest-ny  heait. 

1  n-ivv  foun«la  great  change  in  my  mind,  but  it  wa«  not 
coiiipletn;  fvir  I  had  no  c<.tisciousnessof  the  pardon  of  sin, 
whicii  1  wa-  convinced  was  the  piivilege  of  'he  children 
of  God:  tlierefure  1  couLd  uut  couclude  myself  justified: 


MR.    GEOXOE    STORY.  33© 

however,  I  began  to  seek  for  that  b'essins;  with  all  dili- 
gence: many  difficultiei;  occurred  in  the  wav.  The  old 
train  of  pernicious  ideas  c>  ntitiually  pte«ented  thein- 
seive'*;  I  could  not  meditate  a  moment  without  ^inking 
into  dei-(m:  and  I  wa'*  eq-ially  embarrassed  with  the  d(>c- 
trine  of  predestination.  Indeed  Their  connecti'tn  seem- 
efl  inseparable;  I  could  not  bv  any  means  «lisj<>in  one 
from  tlie  oth^r.  And  I  rej^ieatedly  fi<und,  that  tiie  mo- 
ment I  suffered  my  mind  to  embrace  either  of  them,  I 
lost  sight  of  Go»l,  and  pluriyied  into  blackness  or  darkness. 
The  wretchednes>  I  then  f*»lt  was  insupportable,  accom- 
panied with  su^ijestiiins  to  bUspheme,  or  to  embrace 
atheism.  After  many  sore  conflicts,  tlie  Lord  shewed  me 
a  path  by  which  I  misht  escape;  and  that  was,  by  stay- 
in^!;  my  mind  upon  him,  and  ceasinj;  from  these  reason- 
ings. This  [  found  was  a  sate,  though  painful  path:  it 
equally  mortified  iny  proud  reason,  and  vain  imagina- 
tions. VViiile  gracio'is  promises  occurred,  and  encoura- 
ged me  t  >  follow  on  to  know  the  Lord.  Now  I  began  to 
look  u|»  fur  the  pai  don  ot  sin;  I  saw  that  it  was  purchased 
by  Christ,  and  that  God  j:a\e  it  freely;  that  no  works  or 
sufferings  oi"  niine.  could  in  the  least  degree  merit  this 
blcssinj;;  but  that  it  was  to  be  received  by  faith. 

But  here  again  I  was  greatly  embarrassed;  the  scrip- 
ture universally  testified  that  I  must  believe  or  perish; 
my  friends  were  continually  urging  me  to  believe  and  I 
should  be  saved.  Upon  close  examination  I  found  that  I 
did  believe  every  truth  in  the  bible;  yet  this  did  not  b  irig 
a  sense  of  jjstificaJion.  And  I  durst  not  think  that  G  >a 
was  reconciled  to  me,  when  I  was  conscious  of  the  con- 
trary. But  the  Lortl  soon  brought  me  out  ol  I'ms  dilem- 
ma, by  shewing  loe,  that  to  forgive  was  his  prerogative; 
and  10  believe,  was  my  duty.  This  believing  for  salva- 
tion.I  found  was  a  distinct  thing  from  believing  I  was  sav- 
ed; I  found  it  implied,  the  lifting  up  of  mv  heart  to  the 
L  ':d,in  fervent  prayer,  looking  to  him  with  a  single  eye 
and  steady  aiif;  without  evil  reasonings,  or  vain  wander- 
ing-; cleaving  to  him  with  all  my  strength;  casting  xnj 
soul  upon  his  mercy,  and  depending  upon  his  promises. 

Wliile  I  persisted  in  this,  1  found  I  was  saved  fr ma 
many  evils,  and  the  great  blessing  I  ha<l  in  view  was  often 
neai':  sometinies  I  could  lay  hold  on  it  for  a  moment,  and 
found  peace  and  joy;  but  I  had  been  so  long  habituted  to 


-26  JixprrKiKNCE  or 

unbelief,  that  it  often  rose  spontaneously  and  overturned 
all  my  C(Mi->ulation.  I  had  tht  ivfore  to  riMicw  all  mv  k-(- 
torts  hourly,  and  to  rise  a>  >p»'pd_v  as  possibli'  from  i-very 
lull  In  this  t'xercise  I  cot.titiUfd  about  two  ntonthn.— 
Many  tiuies  1  lost  niv  way  by  too  scrupulously  ri'^;arding 
the  experience  oi  others,  yt't  i  had  iie\er  fou'id  auy  tliinj;; 
like  tiesp.iir,  tinl.'ss  I  ^^il^ullv  ri'a?oii»'d  myself  into  if:  i.or 
•ouM  I  attain  to  any  drej)  terrors,  which  wire  too  much  in- 
sisted oil,  as  a  necess^TT  bianch  of  conviction.  I  likewise 
formed  wroiiji,  ivieas  ol  justification:  I  wante<l  some  j!;reat 
Work  to  be  Mrou|^ht  u|)oii  me,  that  (  inig'nl  ha\e  something 
Tery  remiiik.d)lf  to  boa^t  of.  And  thHreli)re,  when  the 
Lord  gently  drew  near,  and  rnanifej«ted  his  peace  in  a  small 
degree,  I  rtjfcted  it  with  displf.isure.  1  even  coiitemled 
with  the  l^ord,  till  he  stron^rly  impressed  upon  mv  mind 
th.ese  wonls,  "I  will  bring  the  blind  bv  a  why  they  know 
not;  I  will  make  ilaikncss  li;;hi  before  them,  anil  crooked 
thiiijjs  stra!;;Iit:  these  things  will  1  do  unto  them,  and  n»t 
for.sake  ilieiu  "  I  was  now  convinced  of  the  neces<<ity  of 
receiving  with  tha;tkfuliiess,  the  smallest  tokens  of  the  i!i- 
viiie  favou';  and  tfnt  I  must  «ull"er,  with  child-like  simpli- 
city, the  Lord  to  lead  n^e  in  his  own  way.  'J'his  was  soon 
folltiwed  by  a  c  e;jr  manifestation  of  pardoiiin£  me  cy,  that 
excluded  all  doubts,  te>nptatinns.  and  fears,  accompanKd 
With  a  joy,  unspeakable,  and  full  of  glory. 

I  continued  praising  a  reconciled  God  for  some  days. 
The  ha|ipirie>s  1  felt,  carried  me  above  every  difficulty.— 
I  Ci^uld  discern  and  reject  the  first  approach  of  temptation. 
I  now  thought,  my  mountain  was  so  stronjj:,  I  should  never 
be  moved.  I  did  not  know  that  I  should  n»eet  with  war 
anymore.  Indeed  1  expected  to  go  right  forward  to  heav- 
en, ill  a  short  ti'oe.  My  mind  had  been  so  intense  y  en- 
gaged in  seeking  pardon,  that  1  had  quite  forgot  there  was 
a  furtlier  work  of  grace  to  be  wrought  in  me.  But  the 
L'u-d  did  not  suffer  me  to  remain  long  under  that  mistake. 
He  ,soon  discovered  the  remains  of  the  carnal  mind,  and 
the  necessity  of  its  renntval;  1  had  scarce  began  earnestly 
to  saek  after  that  blessing,  before  the  tempter  returned 
with  double  rage.  I  saw  an  invaluable  privilege  beiore  me, 
b'lt  the  way  was  difficult;  a  thousand  arguments  were  pre- 
sented to  discourage  my  pursuit. 

Oiice  1  lost  the  peace  of  God,  by  attending  to  a  discourse 
which  set  iustification  exceeding  high,  confounding  it  with 


MR.    aEOR«E    STORY.  £27 

fiill  sanctification.  Viewing  myself  in  this  false  glass,  and 
not  finding  1  had  all  the  marks  which  the  pre;ichersaid  b— 
longed  to  one  born  of  God,  1  foil  into  the  snare  of  satan; 
gave  up  my  shield,  and  suttered  myself  to  be  persuadesl 
that  all  1  had  experienced  of  the  goodness  of  God,  was  a 
mere  delusion  For  some  hours  1  was  in  as  deep  distress 
asl  had  evtT  known.  And  1  saw  no  way  to  escape,  but 
by  returning  to  the  Lord  in  faith;  who  then  cliscovered  and 
broke  the  snare. 

I  had  surtered  so  much  by  evil  reasonings  on  many  oc- 
oasions;  but  now  1  was  lietermined  to  use  d.)uble  vigihince 
against  them.  Yet  the  enemy  sugge>te(l  to  me,  "Thou 
niayest  now  take  thy  ti  i:e;  thou  art;t  chilii  of  God;  and  if 
once  in  Ciirist,  always  in  Christ;  as  for  full  sanctification, 
it  will  be  accomplished  some  time  or  other;  periiaps  in  the 
article  of  death.  God  has  begun  the  work,  aid  he  will  fin- 
ish it;  therefore  take  thy  ease,  and  eiiji>y  thy  present  com- 
fort." But  I  saw,  w'liether  these  were  true  or  false  argu-» 
ments,  the  conclu.-ion  was  deadly.  Therefore  1  rejected 
the  suggestions,  w  itii  all  my  might,  and  determined  to  be 
wholly  devoted  to  God. 

In  the  midst  of  great  exercises  of  mind,  through  mani- 
fold temptations,  I  omitted  no  oppoitunity  of  exhorting  all 
about  ine,  to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come.  God  was  pleas- 
ed to  sniile  upon  my  vveak  endeavours,  and  to  nsake  me  in- 
strumental i.,  the  conversion  of  several.  Afterwards  I 
was  convinced  I  ought  to  act  in  a  more  public  manner;  but 
1  saw  thedanjj,er  of  being  too  furwaid,  as  well  as  of  being 
too  backward,  and  was  enabled  to  keep  from  both  ex-^ 
tremes.  When  an  opportunity  offered  of  giving  an  exhor- 
tation in  an,  of  the  neighbouring  societies,  1  did  it  witii 
much  fear  and  trembliio;;  but  1  durst  not  shun  tiie  cross. 
Indeed  I  laboured  under  ^reat  disadvantages.  Though  a 
nafural  impedimei.t  in  my  speech,  1  could  not  easily  pro- 
nounce several  words:  and  it  was  a  considerable  time  before 
1  couid  conquer,  or  substitute  others  in  their  place.  1  hop- 
ed my  acquaintance  with  authors  on  m.si  su  tjects  mignt 
be  of  some  use  to  me:  but  1  was  greatly  m^faken;  mj 
mind  was  in  a  situation  thai  forbade  all  kind  of  rnedit..- 
tion.  If  1  .ittenipted  any  such  thing,  1  was  instantly  filled 
with  n>)  wld  destica'  ideas  again.  1  was  therefore  neces- 
sitated to  "(fay  my  tlioughis  upon  the  Lord,  aid  to  follow 
htb  light  and  truth,  as  they  shuue  upou  me.     What  know- 


2S8  BXPERIBNOS    Ol 

ledce  1  had  nrquirod,  while  in  the  spirit  of  aposfacj  fVoQi 
Gou,  I  was  oOhged  to  tlirow  away,  as  altoj^i'il.ci  useU's». 

After  some  tiiiii-,  a  sceiio  ojjciu-d  winch  was  IjoJi  pain- 
ful aii(i  profitable:  we  took  an  old  cliapel,  iti  a  n<'i^lib«»uriiig 
villaiip,  the  inhabitants  ol  which  in  ^enei.d,  dtftcitd  v-  ly 
littie  from  the  savage  ln<liHiiH.  Heie  I  li'  (pi  ntiv  preach- 
ed to  large  congret^ations,  and  nu*t  with  pltiitv  of  i  erse- 
cutitm  lor  ni}  pain^:  but  it  was  not  oi.t  xpected,  and  1  was 
deteniiined  tu  stand  ii  tluiugh  it  si.ould  lostnie  niv  hie. 

Onetime  a  p»>pish  geiitleoian  hired  some  men  to  pull  ine 
out  of  the  pulpit;  thouj;h  1  wa-  igriorant  of  Iheir  dehign,  1 
providentially  fixtd  mv  eve  upon  them  as  soon  a.-,  thev  cam* 
in.  'I'l.ey  were  couttjunded.  and  st.iyed  peaceably  (ill  liie 
service  was  over.  Sonu  times  the  mob  revenged  ih  Ul^elve8 
on  the  door  and  windowsi,  throwiMg  wha'e\er  came  ni-xt 
to  hand;  and  then  followed  us  through  the  struct  wth  mire 
and  dirt.  Ar  an  ^  joining  Milage,  wiieie  1  was  to  preach, 
xome  had  engaged  a  mad  iiutn;  and  to  qnalily  hi  o  moie 
pertectly  for  llie  v\ork,  had  n.ade  him  drunk,  lie  came 
arnieil  w  ith  a  large  dun,  and  raging  iti  a  nio.-.t  furious  man- 
ner. 1  was  WMiiiiig  caliidy  fi)r  the  event,  when  the  man's 
XN'ife  canie,  aiid  having  endeavouied  in  vain  to  persuade 
him  to  gi>  away,  fell  into  vitdent  fits.  Seeing  this,  he  in-- 
atantly  b(^came  a«  <juiet  as  a  lamb,  and  we  returned  with- 
out the  least  injury. 

Soon  alter  1  entered  info  the  most  afflicting  dispensa- 
tion 1  had  ever  known;  which  continued  three  iiionths.  [ 
gradually  sunk  into  unaccountable  anguish  of  mind,  as  if 
the  power  of  darkness  surrounded  me  withoui  intermission. 
Sonn  times  such  horror  penetrated  my  whole  soul,  as  if -I 
had  coiiimitted  some  atrocious  crime,  and  was  instantly  to 
stand  before  the  great  judge,  to  receive  the  stntence  of 
eternal  damnation.  Very  often  1  expected  instant  «leath; 
iTiy  whole  frame  seemed  just  dissolving.  Jn  the  midst  of 
all,  1  found  the  grace  of  God  was  sufficient  to  suppi.rt  me 
under  it;  my  conscience  was  free  from  condemnation;  and 
I  saw  this  distress  was  part  natural,  and  part  diabolical. 
I  still  kept  cleaving  to  the  Lord,  and  stay,  d  my  mind  up- 
on him:  the  cloud  bioke.  ami  niy  loriner  peace  returned — 
I  found  something  dai  y  dying  within  me;  but  what  it  was 
I  could  not  tell.  V\  hen  I  was  at  the  lowest,  i  began  to 
rise  again,  and  continued  increasir.g  in  the  life  of  tiod  for 
three  iuoalhi»  more.    1  was  then  one  evening  meeting  iiif 


MR.    GKOR»B   SrORY.  2£9 

band,  when  the  power  of  the  Lord  descended  In  an  un- 
common manner,  and  I  believed  he  had  purified  my  heart. 
At  first  I  rejected  it  through  a  sense  of  my  unworthiness; 
but  the  witness  again  returned.  I  considered,  "What 
have  I  either  done  or  suftered,  that  could  induce  the  Lord 
to  sliew  me  this  great  mercy?"  And  1  was  upon  the  point 
of  giving  up  again,  when  it  occurred  to  my  mind,  "By 
grace  ye  are  saved  through  faith,  and  that  not  of  your- 
selves, it  is  the  gift  of  God;  not  of  works,  lest  any  man 
should  boast."  I  was  then  constrained  to  acquiesce,  and 
said,  since  it  is  so,  I  will  hold  fast,  if  I  can. 

The  next  morning  I  awoke  in  such  power  and  peace  as 
I  had  never  known,  and  the  promises  in  the  latter  part  of 
the  30th  chapter  of  Exekiel,  were  applied  in  such  a  man- 
ner, as  left  no  doubt  but  the  Lord  had  wrought  that  great 
change  in  me.  Nevertheless,  it  was  not  in  the  manner  I 
expected.  I  supposed  a  soul  saved  from  all  sin,  would  be 
a  great,  wise,  and  glorious  creature;  whereas  I  found  my- 
self infinitely  little,  and  mean,  and  base:  I  had  such  a  dis- 
covery of  my  own  nothingness,  as  humbled  me  to  the  dust 
continually.  I  felt  myself  as  ignorant  and  helpless  as  an 
infant,  and  knew  I  could  not  stand  a  moment  without  the 
divine  aid.  Nor  did  I  find  such  overflowing  joys  as  I  ex- 
pected, but  only  an  even  permanent  peace,  which  kept  my 
heart  in  the  knowledge  and  love  of  God. 

Meantime  several  scriptures  were  opened  tome  at  once: 
and  1  found  a  delightful  relish  for  the  whole.  But  still 
I  found  knowledge  in  divine  things  was  to  be  acquired 
gradually,  through  patient  labor;  and  that  even  this  was 
limited:  God  giving  no  more  than  was  necessary,  and  at 
such  times  as  ne  pleased. 

I  walked  in  this  liberty  some  months,  till  one  day  I  met 
with  a  circumstance  which  grieved  me.  1  attended  too 
much  to  the  temptation,  and  was  not  inwardly  watchful; 
so  before  I  was  aware,  the  temptation  took  place  in  my 
heart,  and  1  found  myself  angry  for  a  moment  or  two. 
And  I  never  expected  to  feel  this  evil  any  more;  my  dis- 
tress was  inconceivable  for  three  or  four  hours;  the  enemy 
suggesting  that  I  was  now  an  apostate  from  the  pure  love 
of  God,  and  could  never  be  restored.  1  cried  mightily  to 
the  Lord,  and  he  discovered  the  device  of  the  enemy,  and 
healed  the  wound  that  had  been  made.  He  likewise 
shewed  me,  that  as  I  had  received  Christ  Jesus,  so  I  must 
30 


^SO  KXPSRIBKCR    or 

walk  in  him;  that  the  same  faith  by  wliich  I  entered  into 
rest,  must  be  continued,  in  order  to  be  established  in  th«t 
liberty. 

'I'he  conference  beingat  Leeds  in  the  year  17G2,  I  at- 
tended with  a  de)»i;;n  of  edifying  by  the  public  discourses 
and  private  conversation  ol  the  prt-athers.  And  herein 
I  hati  abundant  reason  to  be  s.-ttisfied.  Mr.  Wesley's  ser- 
mons were  in  a  peculiar  manner  calculated  for  e:-tablish- 
ing  me  in  what  I  had  lately  experienced.  During  the 
conference,  it  appeared  there  wanted  several  n)oie  preach- 
ers as  itinerants,  in  different  circuits.  My  friends  propo- 
se«l  me  as  one,  and  a*.ked  if  I  had  any  ol»jtction.  As  I 
was  resigued  to  an\  statitm  providence  seenied  to  p(»int 
out,  I  submitted  to  the  judgment  of  my  bretliren.  Being 
admitted  on  trial,  I  returned  home  to  settle  my  aft'airs;  and 
in  the  latter  end  of  February,  ITGS,  I  went  into  the  Dale* 
circuit. 

When  1  got  to  Darlington,  tjie  town  was  in  an  uproar, 
occasioned  by  George  Bell's  prophecy. —  That  day,  at  cord- 
ing to  his  prediction,  the  world  was  to  be  destroyed.  Ma- 
ny people  were  much  frightened;  but  their  fears  soon  gave 
place  to  resentment,  and  they  threatened  to  pull  down  the 
house,  and  burn  the  first  preacher  that  came-  However, 
considering  that  God  was  all-sufticient,  1  told  Mrs.  Os- 
wald, if  she  would  venture  the  house,  I  would  venture  my- 
self. Notice  being  given  for  preaching,  the  place  was 
soon  filled  with  people,  rude  enough.  Providentially  I 
found  in  the  Newcastle  paper,  a  paiagraph,  wlierein  Mr. 
Wesley  <lisavowed  all  connection  with  Mr.  Bell,  and  all 
credit  to  his  prophecy.  This  1  read  to  the  people,  which 
instantly  quieted  them,  and  they  attended  patiently  to  the 
end  nf  the  meeting.  A  poor  backslider  was  that  night  cut 
tn  the  heart,  and  roared  out  in  a  tremendous  manner. 
But  shortly  after  he  found  mercy,  and  died  in  peace. 

In  this  circuit  I  found  several  societies  of  sincere  peo- 
ptejbut  many  of  them  were  settled  upon  their  Lees:  those 
who  had  obtained  justification  were  resting  in  their  past 
experience,  and  had  little  expectation  of  b-t-ing  saved  from 
inward  sin,  till  death.  1  spoke  strongly  of  full  salvation, 
and  God  gave  the  wo(d  success.  Several  were  stirred  up 
to  seek  for  purity  of  heart,  and  others  were  convinced  of 
sin.  Mr.  Samuel  Meggot,  a  zealous  pious  preaclier,  was 
my  fellow 'I aborer/in  whom  I  found  the  affection  of  a  parent. 


Ua.    GEORGE    STORY.  231 

Meeting  me  one  day  in  the  Dales,  he  said,  "You  must 
make  liaste  to  Rarnard-Castle;  the  people  are  all  in  coa- 
fusion;  six  or  seven  of  them  have  found  full  sanctification, 
and  the  rest  are  tearing  one  another  to  pieces  about  it." 
When  1  got  to  the  town,  I  found  many  were  not  a  little 
prejudiced  against  me,  as  a  setter  forth  of  strange  doc- 
trines. I  attempted  to  preach  among  them,  but  could  find 
no  liberty;  1  met  the  society,  but  it  was  still  the  same.  1 
uas  j:ist  g  liug  to  conclude,  when,  in  an  instant,  the  power 
of  Gi)d  descended  m  a  wonderful  manner.  The  assembly 
were  all  in  tears;  some  praising  God  for  pardoning  mercy, 
and  others  for  purifiying  grace.  And  even  those  who 
could  not  yet  understand  this  new  doctrine,  were  con- 
strained to  say,  "If  we  do  not  belif^ve  it,  we  will  never 
spsak  a":ainst  it  any  more."  The  snare  of  the  enemy  was 
effectually  br(jketi;  ai\d  from  that  time  the  work  spread, 
notofdy  iiu-oiig!i  the  town,  but  also  into  the  neighboring 
societies.  We  seldom  had  any  meeting,  public  or  private, 
but  some  v/ere  either  convinced,  justihed,  or  saved  from 
all  sin. 

'I'he  society  in  Wear-Dale  consisted  of  thirty-six  mem- 
bers. But  on  sabbath,  at  two  o'clock,  the  divine  power 
descended  upon  the  as*<einbly;  six  persons,  one  after  ano- 
ther droppi-d  down,  and  as  soon  as  they  came  to  them- 
selves, cried  out  for  mercy.  The  vvork  from  that  time  re- 
vived and  spread  through  the  different  parts  of  the  Dale. 
and  the  society  was  soon  doubled  in  its  number,  many  of 
whom  stand  to  this  day. 

In  other  places  the  people  were  remarkably  lively,  and 
many  were  added  ^o  the  societies.  1  continued  in  this 
circuit  till  July,  1764,  having  the  satisfactory  evidence 
that  I  was  acting  in  a  station  suitable  to  tlie  design  of  pro- 
vidence. This  greatly  supported  me  in  the  various  ditficul- 
ties  that  unavoidably  occurred.  Inrleed  I  exerted  myself 
much  above  my  strength,  both  in  preaching  and  travelling, 
often  venturing  in  tempestuous  weather,  over  those  drea- 
ry fells,  when  even  the  mountaineers  themselves  durst 
not.  I  was  frequently  in  danger  of  being  swallowed  up  in 
the  bogs,  or  carried  away  by  the  torrents.  Sometimes  I 
have  rode  over  vallies  where  the  snow  was  eight  or  ten  feet 
deep,  for  two  or  three  furlongs  together  When  the  danj 
ger  was  most  imminent,  1  not  only  found  a  calm  resignar 
tionjbut  a  solid  rejoicing  in  the  God  of  my  salvation^ 


TUB  EXPF.RIEN'CE  OF 


TO  THE  REV.  MR.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

>Melcemb,  n«ar  Shaftibury,  ^ug.   31»r,  1780. 
Key.  Sir, 

I  AM  a  person  who  has  neither  ability  nor  inclinittioB 
to  sity  much  of  myself;  beiiig  desirous  to  be  little  apd 
unknown. 

Nevertheless,  if  this  short  account  of  the  mercy  of 
God  to  a  sinner,  may  be  of  the  least  use  to  any,  all  the 
praise  shall  he  given  to  him,  by  whose  grace  I  am  what  I 
anu  for  I  always  desire  to  bear  in  mind  that  testimony  of 
St.  Paul,  1.  Tim.  I.  15.  "  This  is  a  faithful  saying,  and 
worthy  of  all  acceptation,  that  Christ  Je»us  came  into 
the  world  to  save  sinners,  ot  whom  I  am  chief." 

I  was  born  in  the  year  of  our  Lord  1732.  in  the  parish 
of  Hamblcdon,  about  eight  miles  from  Portsmouth. 
When  I  was  about  four  years  oi«l,  my  father  di^'d, 
and  soon  after  my  mother.  Such  was  the  •>rder  of  di- 
vine providence,  that  1  had  but  little  knowledge  or  help 
from  them:  but  Almighty  goodness  proviiled  for  me. 

When  my  mother  died,  I  was  removed  to  Portsmouth 
Common,  by  the  care  of  her  own  sister,  the  wife  of  iMr. 
Richard  Libbaid,  \yho  had  lived  there  in  good  credit  for 
many  years;  and  I  was  to  them  as  their  own  child. 

I  believe  my  aunt  lived  in  the  fear  of  God,  and  accord- 
ing to  the  light  she  had,  endeavoured  to  bring  me  up  in  a 
religious  manner.  1  iiave  great  reason  to  be  thankful  to 
God  on  her  account.  Many  of  her  instructions  I  retnem- 
ber  to  this  day,  with  much  comfort:  and  I  have  not  a 
doubt,  but  that  she  is  now  in  Abrahan»'s  bosom. 

Yet  notwithstanding  all  the  care  that  was  taken  of  me, 
1  gave  way  to  evil,  and  did  many  things  contrary  to  the 
Word  of  God;  on  account  of  which,  I  remember  to  have 
felt  many  sharp  convictions  before  1  was  ten  years  of  age. 


MH.   JOHN   MASOV.  233 

\  was  often  alarmed  with  the  fear  of  death  and  judgment. 
1  trembled  at  the  thought  of  being  cast  into  the  fire  of  hell. 
At  those  tiine»  1  frequently  went  alone,  and  prayed  that 
G(td  would  have  mercy  upon  me,  and  save  me  fuom  mj 
sins.  As  1  grew  up,  1  saw  more  and  more  into  the  evil 
ot  sin.  But  although  I  truly  hated  sin,  I  was  often  ove  .• 
CO  iie  by  it,  which  abundantly  increased  my  pain  and 
sorrow. 

But  it  was  by  hearing  a  sermon  of  Mr.  Whitfield's, 
and  those  of  a  pious  minister,  whose  congregation  1  now 
attended,  that  my  convictions  deepened.  1  began  to  see 
myself  as  I  never  had  done  before,  and  to  know  1  was  a 
fallen  child  of  Adam.  I  felt  the  burthen  with  deepdisj 
tre^9.  My  sleep  dt-partcd  from  me,  and  1  neglected  to 
take  my  necessary  food.  I  cried  to  God  night  and  day, 
1  longed  fir  his  salvation.  But  1  was  afraid,  Christ  did 
not  die  for  me.  When  this  persuasion  prevailed,  it 
cut  me  off.  I  was  as  one  that  had  no  hope:  1  cannot  de- 
scribe the  anguish  that  tortured  my  poor  soul.  Some- 
limes  1  wished  I  had  never  been  born;  at  other  times, 
that  1  had  been  an  idi  t  from  my  birth.  And  many  time^, 
such  was  my  ignorance,  and  the  force  of  temptation,  1 
Complained  against  G  -d  for  making  me  wliat  I  was. 

While  I  was  exercised  in  this  gloomy  dejected  manner, 
1,  one  evening  took  up  the  N*?w-  Testament  to  read,  a'ld 
1  hope  never  to  forget  the  time  O'  place.  As  I  read.  I  fe!f, 
1  cannot  tell  how,  an  unusual  going  out  after  God  and 
Chiist.  At  <mce  my  eye.  and  all  the  powers  of  my  soul 
were  fixed  on  these  words,  Heb.  ii.  9  ''But  we  see  Jesus 
who  was  made  little  lower  than  the  angels,  for  the  stiffer- 
ing  and  deatli,  crowned  with  glory  and  honour,  that  Hfe 
bv  the  gr^ce  of  G.id  should  taste  death  f)r  every  man." 
The  deep  silence  !hatre>tedim  me  ga  e  way,  and  1  brokft 
out  as  in  an  extacy  of  joy,  not  regatdiiis:  who  might  hear, 
"For  me  he  liv'd,  and  for  me  he  died." 

In  a  moment,  all  my  buroen  of  pain  and  sorrow  fled 
away,  and  all  my  soul  was  filled  with  peace  and  joy.  1 
was  all  love  to  God  and  uian.  Truly  my  delight  was  in 
the  Altnighty,  and  1  began  to  sing  aloud, 

"O  for  a  thousand  tongues  to  sing, 

"My  dear  Redeemer's  praise: 
"The  glories  of  my  God  and  King, 

**The  triumphs  of  his  grace." 
SO  * 


Tfappy  would  It  have  been  for  me,  if  I  hail  been  oare^u^ 
to  gn»\v  in  tlie  grace  of  (.io<l.  Rut  I  ja;ave  way  to  a  curious 
spirit,  and  pu/.y-le<l  invs^lf  with  d  lubtful  disputati  »iis. 
And  by  this  niearn*.  I  graduallv  damped  th«>  jfrace  of  God, 
and  cast  the  bk's«»injr  away  I  had  been  entrusted  witli.. 

Soon  after  thi-.,  the  Methodist  preacliers  came  to 
Port-imouth  I  went  to  hear  tliem.  and  the  word  wag 
made  profitable  to  me.  i  felt  new  deaiies,  and  was  i»f  en 
much  comforted,  and  I  once  more  resolved  to  give  up  my 
body  and  soul  a  saoifice  to  G'ul.  (  was  admitted  into 
the  society,  b  Mr.  James  Oddy.  1  continued  to  meet 
with  them  for  some  time;  and  many  weie  the  blessings  I 
theieby  received. —  But  after  a  tinie,  a  stumbling  block 
was  laid  in  my  way,  and  1  left  'he  5*ociety.  But  it  was 
ohiefly  owing  to  my  inexperience,  and  want  i-f  patiercc. 
1  ought  to  have  minded  one  thing,  whatever  others  did, 
and  to  have  pressed  on  to  the  pri-^e  of  our  high  calling. 

After  this,  1  went  on  for  five  years,  in  darkness,  mis- 
ery and  distress,  yea,  many  times  almost  in  despair;  yet 
1  constantly  attended  the  preaching,  and  sometimes  was 
permitted  to  stay  in  t\<e  mee'ing  "f  the  society:  but  when 
my  much  esteemed  frit^nd,  Mr.  Robert  Roberts  came  in- 
to the  Circuit,  he  was  informed  of  me;  for  I  believe  both 
the  preachers  and  people  had  a  regard  for  me.  He  gave 
me  d  note  of  admittance  again.  May  1  never  forget  this 
mercy ! 

It  was  not  long  after,  being  at  a  prayer  meeting  with 
a  few  friends,  that  1  recovered  the  peace,  and  love  of 
G'>d.  My  soul  was  humbled  in  the  dust:  1  became  solidlj  " 
happy  in  God  my  Savi(.)ur.  I  was  watchful,  a:id  spent 
much  time  in  prayei;  the  Word  of  God  was  my  dailj 
companion,  and  it  was  spirit  and  life  to  my  soul.  My 
faith  was  now  strengthened:  my  love  to  Gotf  and  maa 
increased  abundantly.  The  Lord  held  me  by  the  hand, 
and  fed  me  with  the  bread  of  life.  He  gave  me  to  drink 
ef  the  water  ol  the  river  of  life,  and  1  was  happy  all  the 
day  long.  Such  was  the  ble<:sing  1  continually  enjoyed, 
1  lived  near  to  God.  keeping  Jesu»  in  mj  view,  as  my  life, 
mv  pattern,  and  my  all. 

•When  Mr.  Francis  Gilbert  appointed  me  to  take  care 
©f  a  class,  it  was  a  great  trial.  But  so  much  the  more 
din  the  Lord  make  it  a  blessing  to  me.  For  while  1  pray- 
ed fur  my  biethreii;  and  laboured  to  belp  them  forvftriL 


in  the  way  to  the  kina,d<.ra,  he  gave  me  great  censniatloa 
ia  luy  own  soul;  aiitl  I  began  to  feel  a  str  iirijer  desire  fur 
tise  salvation  of  pi»or  sinners,  I  reproved,  advised,  and 
c  'mt'orted,  as  npiHirtunity  served:  beini^,  at  the  same 
time,  paticularly  careful  ovei-  my  own  beliavinnr.  Meati 
time,  by  the  desire  of  n»y  fiiends,  I  sometimes  reac'  a 
sermon,  or  s  mie  part  of  the  Chri?i^ian  libiary.  I  did  fhi=, 
first  ir)  our  own  society,  and  afterwards  in  that  of  a 
nei;^hbuuring  town.  Sometimes  also,  1  ventured  to  ^ive 
a  few  words  of  exhortati'-n;  an«l  the  people  not  only  b-re 
witii  my  weaknes"..  but  urj^ed  me  to  do  it  more  fiequent- 
\y  Some  time  after,  I  felf  a  strong  conviction,  Ihat  it 
was  my  duty  to  preach.  I  did  so  occa>ionafly;  and  Ihough 
it  was  with  mucli  weakness,  fear,  and  t'  embling,  the  Lord 
ow.ied  my  feeble  attempts:  the  peo;ile  were  profited,  and 
my  own  sduI  was  helped  forward  in  tlie  ^race  of  God. 
1  advised  with  the  assistant,  and  the  other  preachers,  and 
being  encouias;ed  bv  them,  1  went  on  therein,  relying 
upon  God,  who  giveth  strength  to  them  that  have  no 
might. 

But  1  was  not  long  satisfied  with  this.  1  found  a  strong- 
er and  stronger  conviction,  that  \t  was  my  duty  to  give 
myself  wholly  up  to  the  wirk  of  God,  and  commence  an 
itinerant  preacher.  But  I  shrunk  from  the  thought.  I 
wept,  and  prayed,  and  strove  against  it  with  all  nir 
roii^ht,  till  I  had  well  nigh  lost  all  the  life  atid  peace  of 
God  out  of  my  soul.  Yet  1  did  not  comply:  it  v  as  so  con- 
trary to  the  plan  1  had  just  laid  down,  having  (as  1  sup- 
posed) settled  myself  foi-  life.  It  was  my  desire  and  d«- 
sign,  to  live  and  die  amongst  tny  fii  st  religiou'*  acqtiaii;!- 
ance,  and  then  to  lay  my  bones  by  the  side  of  my  dear 
and  only  brother,  j.i<t  torn  from  me  bv  the  hand  of  death. 

But  not  beioo  able  to  resist  any  longer,  I  laid  the  mat- 
ter before  Mr.  Fuiz.  and  the  other  preaciers  in  the  cir- 
cuit. They  advised  me  to  fight  against  G.id  no  more,  but 
prepare  my-elf  against  the  next  conference.  1  did  *o, 
and  attended  at  B  istol  in  .\ug'ist,  1764.  1  can  truly 
say,  I  had  no  othei  end  in  view  but  toe  glory  of  God.  and 
the  go;)d  of  souls.  With  regard  to  this  world,  I  had  all  I 
wantel,  and  to  spare,  A"'d  1  had  a  prospect  of  easily 
gaining  much  moie,  had  1  remained  in  my  business,  which 
was  steady,  and  con'inually  ificrea>ing.  But  t!iis  1  ga»e 
tip  freely,  nor  have  1  repented  of  it,  one  moment  since.— 


236  SXPKRIENCB    OF 

And  if  it  w^re  to  do  again,  I  believe  1  should  do  it  with 
the  same  clieerfulness.  For  he  is  worthy  of  all  my  ser- 
vice, who  has  bought  nic  with  his  precious  blood. 

You  sir,  were  pleased  to  appoint  me  to  labour  in  the 
York  circuit  with  Mr.  Furzand  Mr.  P«»ol.  It  was  a  year 
of  much  peace  and  comfort:  and  I  resolved,  in  the  stiengtii 
of  Carist,  to  continue  spending,  and  be  spent,  in  the  bles- 
sed work,  to  my  life's  end. 

It  is  of  little  use  to  say  in  what  parts  of  England,  Ire- 
land, and  the  Ule  of  Man,  1  have  laboured;  or  how  many 
persons  have  been  convinced  of  sin,  or  converted  to  God: 
or  how  many  have  been  added  to  the  societies,  in  the  cir- 
cuits wherein  I  have  laboured.  Let  it  suffice,  that  thi«, 
and  all  1  am,  will  be  fully  known  in  that  great  day.  But 
1  believe,  1  may  be  permitted  to  mention,  in  the  tear  of 
God,  that  after  sixteen  years  labour,  1  do  not  know,  that 
cither  my  principles  or  practice,  have  given  y»»u,  sir,  or 
any  of  my  biethren,  cause  to  repent,  for  a  moment,  that 
you  received  me  as  a  fellow-labourer  in  the  house  of  God. 
And  in  this  I  am  the  same  at  this  day,  as  at  the  fir  t.  1 
still  esteem  it  no  small  privilege,  to  act  with  you,as.ason 
in  the  gospel,  to  be  directed  by  you,  where,  when,  and 
how  to  act. 

1  bless  Gofl,  1  still  daily  enjay  a  measure  of  his  peace 
and  love.  But  I  am  ashamed,  when  I  consider  how  little 
in»pr<»vent  I  have  made.  1  long  to  have  every  thing  ta- 
ken from  me,  that  is  not  agreeable  to  the  mind  that  was 
ii»  Christ. 

For  many  years  1  have  been  fully  satified  with  regard 
to  the  doctrines  of  the  Methodir^ts:  and  in  them  I  hope  to 
live  and  die.  But  fiom  the  time  that  1  recovered  the  fa- 
vour of  God,  1  have  always  been  averse  to  disputing.  1 
remember  how  much  1  suffered  therebv,  in  the  beginning 
of  my  turning  to  God.  And  I  believe  it  would  be  happy, 
if  all  the  children  of  God  would  s'rive  to  agree,  as  far  as 
possible,  and  live  in  Ii've  as  biethren,  and  stiive  to  help 
each  other  in  figl)ting  the  good  fight  of  faith.  This  is  the 
tone  de»ire,  and  I  hope  it  will  be  the  continual  labour  of, 
Keveiend  si', 

Your  dutiful  son  in  the  gospel, 

JOhN  MASON. 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


I  WAS  born  in  the  parish  of  Bingley>  Yorkshire,  De- 
cember 3,  1726.  My  parents  both  died  in  the  faith.  I 
lived  with  them  seven  years,  and  seven  years  more  with 
an  uncle,  who  was  in  the  same  parish.  From  five  years 
old  I  had  strong  convictions  at  times,  and  put  up  many 
prayers  for  mercy.  And  though  I  had  no  one  to  teach  me, 
yet  I  had  the  fear  of  God  in  my  heart.  If  I  was  over- 
taken in  any  sin,  I  was  much  troubleil,  till  I  said  ray  pray- 
ers, which  I  thought  would  make  all  up. 

At  fourteen  I  was  put  apprentice  to  be  a  mason.  While 
I  lived  with  iny  master,  I  had  little  concern  for  my  soul. 
But  after  six  years,  at  the  time  of  the  rebellion,  I  enlisted 
among  the  Yorkshire  Blues.  1  continued  with  them  about 
a  year.  There  was  one  man  among  us,  who  had  the  fear 
of  God  before  his  eyes  He  gave  me  good  advice,  which 
one  time  in  particular,  took  great  effect  upon  me  and  my 
comrade.  We,  both  of  ua  were  under  deep  convictions, 
but  knew  not  what  to  do  to  be  savtd:  I  began  to  fear 
death  exceedingly,  knowing  I  was  not  fit  to  die.  These 
words  followed  me  continually;  "cursed  is  every  one  that 
continueth  not  in  all  things,  written  in  the  book  of  the 
law,  to  do  them."  I  thought  I  must  ^Ifil  the  law,  or  be 
damned.  I  strove  all  f  could  to  fulfil  it;  but  I  thought  I 
grew  worse  and  worse,  till  my  load  was  many  times  heav- 
ier than  I  could  bear. 

In  the  year  1746,  the  rebellion  being  over,  we  were  dis- 
charge's I  then  sought  for  a  people  that  feared  God,  and 
soon  joined  the  society.  I  heard  John  Nelson  several 
times,  and  began  to  have  some  hope  of  finding  mercy: 
gome  time  after  I  went  to  hear  Mr.  Grimshaw,  and  was 
convinced  that  we  are  to  be  saved  by  faith:  yea,  that  the 
very  worst  of  sinners  might  be  saved,  by  faith  in  Jesus 
Christ.  Soon  after,  I  heard  Mr.  Charles  Wesley  preach 
from  these  words,  "I  am  determined  not  to  know  any 
thing  among  you,  save  Jesus  Christ,  and  him  crucified." 


238  EXPERIENCE    OF 

He  shewed  clearly,  that  Christ  is  able  and  willing  t»  save 
the:  greatest  s  oners,  i  was  much  refreaiud  Under  the  sef- 
tuun,  and  much  more  so  in  singing  these  words, 

"Whither  should  a  sinner  go? 
"His  wounds  foi*'  me  stand  open  wide: 

'Only  Jesus  will  I  know, 
"And  Jesus  crucified." 

But  when  he  told  us,  we  might  know  our  sins  forgiven 
in  this  life;  yea,  this  very  moment,  it  seemed  tome  a  new 
doctrine,  and  i  could  not  believe  it  at  all.  But  I  contin- 
ued in  prayer;  and  in  a  few  days,  I  was  convinced  of  it  to 
tny  great  joy.  The  love  of  Christ  broke  into  my  soul,  and 
drove  away  all  guilt  and  fear:  and  at  the  same  time  he 
filled  my  heart  with  love  both  to  God  and  man.  I  saw  that 
Go«l  was  my  salvation,  and  now  could  trust  him, and  praise 
him  with  joyful  lips.    J  could  sing  with  all  my  heart, 

"O  what  shall  I  do  my  Saviour  to  praise! 
"So  faithful  and  true,  plenteous  in  grace! 
"So  strong"  to  deliver,  so  good  to  redeem, 
••The  weakest  believer  that  hangs  upon  him!" 

Soon  after  this,  Mr.  John  Wesley  came  to  Rradforth, 
and  preached  on,  "  Tliis  one  *liing  I  do."  He  joined  seve- 
ral of  us  together  in  a  class,  which  met  about  a  mile 
from  the  town.  But  all  of  them  fell  back,  and  left  me 
alone;  yet  afterwards  some  of  them  returned.  Before  this, 
I  thcmght  my  hill  was  so  strong.  I  could  never  be  moved. 
But  seeing  so  many  fall  into  sin,  I  began  to  see  danger  in 
my  way.  I  began  to  feel  an  evil  heart  of  unbelief, an<l  was 
fully  convinced,  thalt  there  must  be  a  farther  change  in  mj 
heart,  before  1  could  be  established  in  grace.  Afterwards 
I  removed  to  Righley,  and  had  many  opportunities  of 
hearing,  and  profiting  by  Mr.  Grimshaw.  But  feeling  my 
corruptiotia,  with  strong  temptations,  1  fell  into  great  doubt- 
ings.  I  was  almost  in  despair,  full  of  unbelief,  i  could 
scarce  pray  at  all.  I  wa«  in  this  state  near  half  a  year, 
finding  no  comfort  in  any  thing.  But  one  evening,  one  ot 
our  friends  prayed  in  the  society,  and  my  soul  was  set  at 
liberty.  AH  my  doubts  fled  away,  and  faith  and  love  once 
more  sprung  up  in  my  heart.'  1  afterward  saw,  that  God 
bad  a  farther  end  in  these  trials  and  deliverances. 

Not  long  after  this.  1  felt  a  gr^at  desire  to  tell  other* 
tvbat  God  had  done  for  my  soul.     I  wanted  my  fellow  crear 


MR.    THOMAS    MITCHELL.  239 

fures  to  turn  to  the  LoH,  but  saw  myself  utterly  unfit  to 
speak  for  him.  1  saw  the  neigbourhood,  in  which  1  lived, 
abuundin<r  with  all  manner  of  wickedness.  And  no  man 
caring  for  his  soul,  or  warning  him  to  flee  from  the 
wrath  to  come.  1  began  to  reprove  sin  wherever  1  was, 
though  many  hated  me  for  so  doing.  1  did  not  regard 
that:  for  God  gave  ine  an  invincible  courage.  Kut  still  I 
did  not  see  clearly,  whether  I  was  called  to  speak  iu  pub- 
lic, or  not.  After  manj  reasonings  in  my  mind,  I  ventu- 
red to  give  notice  of  a  meetirijj.  When  the  time  came, 
my  soul  wiis  bnwe^  down  within  me:  my  bones  >h(M)k,  and 
•ne  knee  smote  against  the  othor.  I  had  masiy  to  hear  :iie; 
some  of  them  heard  me  with  pain,  and  ail  vised  me  toxpciik. 
no  more  in  public.  But  one  young  woman  was  convijiced 
of  her  lost  condition,  and  never  rested  till  she  found  re- 
demption. 

But  this  did  not  satisfy  my  friends.  So,  is  tliey  were 
not  willing  to  receive  me.  I  wem  to  thuse  that  would;  atid 
G*>d  began  to  bless  my  weak  endeavours.  Vet  I  wuh  not 
satisfied  mvseU.  For  several  we^  ks  I  had  c;reat  trouble 
in  my  mind.  1  tnou^iit  no  man's  case  was  like  niine  — 
Sometimes  1  wished  1  had  never  beeti  born.  JM(»st  of  mv 
friends  were  ai^anist  me.  1  was  full  of  fears  within,  and 
had  a  persecuting  world  without.  But  all  this  time  mv 
heart  was  drawn  out  in  prayer,  that  God  would  shew  me 
tlie  way  wherein  I  siuiuld  iro.  Being  now  employed  at  sir 
Wnlter  Coverly's  in  the  parish  of  Guisely.  I  met  with  a 
few  serious  people  at  Yeadon.  They  were  just  setting 
out  in  the  ways  of  God,  and  desired  me  to  give  a  word  of 
exhortation  among  them  I  di«l  so  a  few  times,  and  God 
was  pleased  to  bless  it  to  their  souls.  The  little  socit-ty 
increased,  and  they  all  dearly  loved  one  another.  But 
satan  was  not  idle.  Every  time  we  met,  a  riotous  mob 
gathered  round  the  house,  and  disturbed  us  much. 

One  evenin.,,  while  William  Darney  was  preaching,  the 
curate  t»f  Gui-.ely  came  at  the  head  of  a  large  mob,  who 
threw  eggs  in  his  face,  pulled  him  down,  dragged  him  out 
•f  the  house  on  the  ground,  and  stamped  upon  him.  Die 
curate  him-ielf  then  thought  it  was  enou-^h,  and  bade  thera 
let  him  alone,  and  go  their  way.  Some  time  after,  Jon  - 
than  Maskew  came.  As  sor»n  as  he  began  to  speak,  the 
same  si-.tb  Ciune,  pulled  him  down,  and  dragged  him  out  of 
th«  house.    They  then  tore  otl'his  clothes,  and  dragged  him 


240  EXPSniENOE    OF 

along  upon  his  naked  back,  over  the  gravel  and  pavement, 
"NVhen  they  thoujiht  they  had  sufficiently  bruised  him, 
tliey  let  him  go,  and  went  away.  With  much  difficulty  he 
crept  to  a  fiiend's  house,  where  they  dressed  his  wounds, 
and  got  him  some  clothes.  It  was  my  turn  to  go  next. — 
No  sooner  wa:  i  at  the  town,  than  the  mob  canie,  like  so 
many  roaring  Tkmis.  My  friends  advised  me  not  to  preach 
that  night;  and  un«lerto(»k  to  carry  me  out  of  the  town. 
But  the  mob  folUiwed  in  a  great  rage,  and  stoned  me  for 
near  two  miles,  so  that  it  was  several  weeks  before  1  got 
well  of  the  bruises  I  then  received. 

About  this  time  a  carpenter  was  swearing  horribly, 
whom  I  calmly  reproved.  He  immediately  flew  into  a 
violent  passion,  and  having  an  axe  in  his  hand,  lilted  itnp, 
and  swore  he  would  cleave  my  head  in  a  moment.  But 
Just  as  he  was  going  to  strike,  a  man  that  stood  by,  snatch- 
ed hold  of  his  arm,  and  held  him  till  his  passion  cooled. 
At  first,  I  felt  a  little  fear,  but  it  soon  vanished  away. 

While  I  was  working  at  sir  Walter's,  some  one  inform^ 
ed  him,  that  I  was  a  Methodist.  He  was  much  disph-ased, 
saying,  "1  like  him  for  a  workman,  but  T  hate  his  religion." 
Tliis  was  chieHy  owing  to  his  steward,  whom  I  had  often 
reproved  for  swearing.  He  mortally  hated  me  on  that  ac- 
count. But  in  a  little  time  he  was  taken  ill.  Peiceivrng 
himself  worse,  he  sent  a  message  for  me,  earnestly  desiring, 
I  would  come  and  pray  with  Inm.  I  went  and  found  him 
iu  an  agony  of  conviction,  crying  aloud  for  mercy.  I 
shewed  him  where  mercy  was  to  be  found,  and  then  went 
to  prayer  with  him.  While  I  was  praying,  his  heart  seem- 
ed broken,  and  he  was  bathed  in  tears.  He  owned  he  had 
been  a  grievous  sinner;  but  he  cried  to  God  with  his  lat- 
est breath,  and,  I  believe,  not  in  vain. 

I  stayed  some  time  after  in  these  parts,  and  was  fully 
employed.  All  the  day  I  wrought  diligently  at  my  busi- 
ness; in  the  evenings  I  called  sinners  to  repentance. — 
And  now  the  mobs  were  not  so  furious,  so  that  we  had  no 
considerable  interruption.  In  the  mean  time,  I  waited  to 
see,  whether  the  Lord  had  any  thing  for  me  to  do.  I 
make  it  a  matter  of  continual  prayer,  that  he  would  make 
my  way  plain  before  me.  And  in  a  little  while,  1  had 
much  more  of  the  best  work  upon  my  hands.  1  was  desir- 
ed to  give  an  exhortation  at  a  village  called  Hartwith.  1 
went  thither  several  tiines.    Several  here  were  deeply 


MK.    THOMAS    MITCHELL.  241 

convinced  of  sin;  and  two  or  three  soon  found  redemption 
in  the  b'ood  of  Jesus,  the  forgiveness  of  sins.  Al'terwanis 
1  was  invited  to  Thirsk.  Here  1  found  a  few  hutigry  souls. 
But  they  were  as  sheep  without  a  si.epherd,  seUlom  hear- 
ing any  thing  like  the  gospel.  1  spent  two  nights  among 
them.  "Xhf  serious  people  were  much  refreshed;  some 
were  awakened  and  saw  their  danger,  and  cried  out  tor 
mercy. 

After  this  1  went  to  Stockton,  where  1  found  a  lively 
people,  who  had  been  joined  in  society  for  some  time.  I 
preached  several  times  among  them  with  great  liberty  of 
soul,  and  freedom  of  speech;  and  to  all  appearance  the 
word  had  much  effect  on  the  hearers.  Here  I  met  with 
Mr.  Larwood,  who  behaved  very  kindly  to  me,  and  told 
me,  he  hoped  i  should  be  very  useful  if  I  kept  humble. 
He  then  sent  mo  before  him  to  York  and  Le;  ds,  where  I 
preached  and  gave  notice  of  his  coming.  From  Leeds  I 
went  to  Birstal.  It  happened  to  be  their  preaching  night. 
John  Nelson  was  sick  in  bed,  so  the  people  desired  nie  to 
preach,  or  give  them  a  word  of  exhortation.  According- 
ly, I  preached  in  the  best  manner  1  rould,  and  the  people 
seemed  well  satisfied.  The  next  day  I  went  to  High 
Town,  and  preached  to  a  large  congregation  in  the 
evening.  1  had  much  liberty  in  speaking,  and  found  a 
great  blessing  to  my  own  soul;  and  I  have  reason  to  be- 
lieve that  the  people  were  well  satisfied. 

From  Birstal  I  went  to  Heptonstol.  Here  1  met  vvitFi 
a  lively  people,  who  received  me  very  kindly.  I  gave  sev- 
eral exhortations  among  them,  and  the  word  went  with 
power  to  many  hearts,  i  continued  some  time  in  these 
parts,  and  went  to  several  places  in  Lanca-hire.  Here 
also  I  found  many  were  auakened,  and  several  found 
peace  with  God,  while  I  was  among  them.  1  endeavour- 
ed to  form  a  regular  circuit  in  these  parts,  and  in  a  little 
time  gained  my  point. 

1  continued  in  these  parts  some  time,  and  have  reason  to 
hope  that  I  was  useful  among  them.  In  one  place  I  met 
with  a  mob  of  women,  who  put  me  into  a  pond  of  water, 
which  took  me  nearly  over  my  head  But  by  the  blessi.-g 
of  God,  I  got  out  safe,  and  walked  about  three  milts  in 
my  wet  clothes,  but  I  cafciie-l  no  cold.  I  continued  s>»me 
time  in  tiiese  parts,  encouraged  by  the  example  and  ad- 
vice of  good  Mr.  Grimshaw. 
'      21 


S48  EXPEHIENCE    OF 

One  time,  Paul  Greenwood  and  I  called  at  his  house  to- 
gether, and  he  gave  us  a  very  waiin  exhortaiion,  wi.ich  I 
shall  not  soon  Torget.  He  said,  "If  you  are  sent  o!  lji(»d 
to  preach  the  gospel,  all  hell  will  be  up  in  arms  against 
you.  Prepare  for  the  battle,  and  stanti  fast  in  the  good 
ways  of  God.  Indeed  you  must  not  expect  to  gain  much 
of  tliis  world's  goo<is  by  preaching  the  go-xpel.  IVnat  yuu 
get  must  come  through  the  Devil's  teet.}  and  he  uiUUnid 
it  as  fast  as  he  can.  I  count  every  covel»»us  man  to  be 
ene  of  the  devil's  teeth.  And  he  will  let  nothing  go  for 
God  and  his  cause,  but  what  is  forced  from  him." 

In  t)ie  year  1751,1  was  stationed  in  Lincolnshire.  I 
found  a  serious  people  and  an  open  dooi:  but  there  were 
many  adversirie^.  Tliis  v  as  far  the  most  trying  year 
which  I  had  ever  known.  But  in  every  temj.tation  God 
made  a  way  to  escape,  that  I  migiit  be  able  to  bear  it. 

On  Sabb.itli,  August  the  7th,  1  came  to  Rangale.     Very 
early  in  the  morning  I  preached,  as  usual,  at  live.     About 
six,  two  constables  came,  at   the  head  of  a  large   mob. 
They  violently  broke  in  upon  the  people,  seized  upon  me, 
pulled  me  down,  and  took  me  to  a  public  house,   where 
they  k "pt  me  till  four  in  the  afternoon.     Then  one  of  the 
constables  seemed  to  relent,  and  said,  "1  will  go  to  the  min- 
ister, and   enquire  -if  him    whether  we  may  not  now  let 
the  poor  man  gof"     When  he  came  biick,  he  said.  '-They 
were  not  to  let  me  go  yet."     So  he  took  me  out  to  the  mob, 
who  presently   hurried  me  away,  and  threw   me  into  a 
pool  of  standing  water.     It  took  me  up  to  the  neck.     Sev- 
eral times  I  strove  *o  get  out.  but  they  pitched  me  in  ayain. 
They  told  me  1  must  go  through  it  seven  times.     1  did 
90,  ai;d  then  they  let  me  come  out.     When  I  had  got 
upon  dry  g.  ound,  a  man  stood  ready  with  a  pot  full  of 
white  pain   — He  i  aiiited  me  all  over  from  head  to  fnot; 
and  then  they  car.'-ied  me  into  the  public   house  again. 
Here  I  was  kept  till  tliey  h^d  put  five  more  of  our  friends 
into  the  water.     Then  they  came  and  took  me  out  again, 
and  carried  me  to  a  great  pond,  which  was  railed  on  every 
side,  beini;  teo  or  twelve  feet  deep.     Here  four  men  took 
^^e  by  my  legs  and  arms,  and  swung  me  backward  and  for- 
ward.    For  a  moment  I  felt  the  flesh  shrink;  but  it  was 
quickly  gone.     I  gave  myself  up  to  the  Lord,  and  was 
content  his  will  should  be  done.      Tiiey  swung  me  two  or 
three  times,  and  then  threw  me  as  far  as  they  could  in  ;o 


UR,    THOMAS   MITCHELL,  243 

the  water.  The  fall  and  the  water  soon  took  away  my 
senses,  so  that  I  felt  nothing  more.  But  some  of  them 
Were  not  willing  to  hive  me  drowned.  So  they  watciied 
till  I  casne  above  water,  and  then  catching  hold  of  my 
clothes  with  a  long  pole,  made  shift  to  drag  me  out. 

I  lav  senseless  for  some  time.  When  I  came  to  my- 
self, I  savv  odv  two  men  stJinding  by  nip.  One  of  them 
helped  me  up,  and  desired  me  to  go  with  him.  He  bro  i2;ht 
me  to  a  little  'louse,  where  they  quickly  put  me  to  bed. 
But  [  had  not  Iain  long,  before  the  mob  cime  igjn,  pulled 
me  out  of  bed,  carried  me  int-'  the  street,  and  swore  thej 
would  take  away  one  of  my  linbs,  if  1  would  not  promise 
to  come  there  no  more  I  told  them,  "I  could  promise  no 
such  thing."  But  the  man  that  had  hold  "f  m-^  promised 
for  me,  and  tooic  me  back  into  the  house,  and  put  me  to 
bed  again. 

Some  of  the  mob  then  went  to  the  minister  again,  to 
know  whiit  they  mnst  do  with  me?  He  told  them,  "Yoa 
must  take  him  out  of  the  parish  "  So  tJiey  came,  and  t')ok 
me  out  of  bed  a  second  time.  But  I  had  no  clothes  to  put 
on;  fny  own  being  wet,  and  also  covered  with  paint.  But 
they  put  an  old  coat  ab  >ut  me,  took  m^  about  a  mile,  and 
set  me  upon  a  little  hill.  They  then  shouted  three  times, 
"God  save  the  king,  and  the  devil  take  the  preacher,"  and 
left  me. 

Here  they  left  me  pennyless  and  friendless  :  for  no  one 
durst  come  near  me.  And  my  strength  was  nearly  gonej 
so  that  I  had  much  ado  to  walk,  or  even  to  stana.  Bat 
from  the  beginning  to  the  end,  my  mind  was  in  perfect 
peace.  I  found  no  anger  or  resentment,  but  could  hearti- 
ly pray  for  my  persecutors.  But  I  knew  not  what  to  do, 
or  where  to  go.  Indeed  one  of  our  friends  lived  three  or 
four  miles  oft!  But  I  was  so  weak  and  ill,  that  it  did  not 
seem  possible  for  me  to  get  so  far.  However,  I  trusted  in 
God,  and  set  out;  and  at  length  I  got  to  the  house.  The 
family  did  every  thing  for  me  that  was  in  their  power:  they 
got  me  clothes,  and  whatever  else  was  needful.  I  rested 
foar  days  with  them,  in  which  time  my  strength  was  tol- 
erably restored.  Then  I  weiit  into  the  circuit,  and  (bles- 
sed be  God  I)  saw  much  fruit  of  my  labour.  In  the  mid.st 
of  persecution,  many  were  brought  to  the  saving  know- 
ledge of  God.  And  as  the  sufferings  of  Christ  abounded, 
SO  our  consolations  by  Christ  abounded  also.    As  to  the 


244  EXPERIENCE    OF 

lions  at  Rangdale,  an  appeal  to  the  court  of  king's  bench^ 
mafie  botl\  fhem  and  the  ininisft-r  quiet  a>  laiiib?-. 

Co  iiing,  in  December,  into  Lancashire,  I  found  trials 
of  quite  another  kin'i.  The  podr  peo|-le  were  in  the  ut- 
most confusion,  like  a  flock  of  frightened  sheep.  J  hn 
Bennet,  who  before  loved  and  reverenced  Mi-.  Wesley 
for  liis  work's  sake,  since  he  got  into  his  new  opinions, 
hated  hitn  most  cordially,  and  laboured  to  set  all  the  peo- 
ple ai;a»nst  him.  He  told  them  in  the  open  congregation, 
that  Mr.  Wesley  was  a  pope,  and  that  he  preached  nothing 
but  popei-y.  December  the  SSth,  1  met  lam  at  Bolton.  I 
desired  him  to  preach;  buf  he  would  not.  So  1  got  up  and 
spoke  as  well  as  I  could,  though  with  a  heavy  heart.  Af- 
ter 1  had  done,  he  met  the  society,  and  said  many  bitter 
things  of  Mr.  Wesley  He  then  spread  out  his  hands  and 
crfed,  "popery!  popery  I  ]  will  not  be  in  connection 
v/ith  him  any  more."— I  could  not  help  telling  him,  "the 
spirit  in  which  you  now  speak  is  not  of  God.  Neither 
are  you  fit  for  the  pulpit,  while  you  are  of  such  a  spirit." 
While  I  was  speaking,  a  woman  that  stood  by  me  struck 
Jtne  in  the  face  with  all  her  migiit.  Immediately  all  the 
congregation  was  in  an  uproar.  So  I  thought  it  best  to  re- 
tire. After,  I  believed  it  was  my  duty  to  expostulate  with 
bim.  But  it  did  not  avail;  it  seemed  to  me  that  all  love  was 
departed  from  him. — His  mind  was  wholly  set  against  Mr. 
Wesley,  and  against  the  whole  Methodist  doctrine  and  dis- 
cipline. And  he  had  infused  his  own  spirit  into  the  peo- 
ple in  many  places;  so  that  I  had  hard  work  among  them, 
but  the  Lord  kept  my  soul  in  peace  and  love.— Glory  be 
unto  his  holy  name  ! 

In  May,  1752, 1  came  to  Newcastle  wpon  Tyne,  where, 
after  all  the  storms  I  had  gone  through,  I  was  greatly  re- 
freshed among  a  loving,  peaceable  people,  with  whom  I  la- 
boured v/ith  much  satisfaction.  And  it  pleased  the  Lord 
to  prosper  my  labour  in  Berwick  upon  Tweed,  Gateshead 
Fell,  and  many  otiier  places,  where  many  sinners  were 
both  convinced  and  converted  to  God. 

Un  May  8,  1756, 1  came  with  Mr.  Wesley  from  New- 
castle to  York.  On  the  12th,  he  preached  to  a  large  con- 
gregation; and  the  next  morning,  from,  "Let  us  come 
boldly  to  the  throne  of  grace,  that  we  may  find  mercy, 
and  grace  to  help  in  time  of  need."  I  never  saw  a  con- 
gregation so  aftected.    Most  of  the  people  were  in  tears. 


>IH.  THOMAS  MITDHELL.  ^45 

some  for  joy,  and  some  from  a  sens^  o^  their  sins.  He 
ha<i  designed  to  go  on  to  Lincolnshire.  .But  through  the 
importunity'  of  the  people,  he  consented  to  staj  a  little  at 
York,  and  de>iieil  me  tu  g**  in  his  place. 

From  the  fiFlowing  conference,  (at  which  fourteen 
pre;icher»  weie  present,  besides  Mr,  VVpsley  and  his 
biuther)  I  went  into  Wilt^iire,  where  M.  Pearce,  of 
B>adfortti,  was  a  father  to  me.  Here  I  formed  a  firm  re- 
solution of  cleaving  more  clo,?^e!y  to  God  than  ever  I  had 
done  before.  I  longed  to  be  wholly  freed  from  the  enemies 
which  1  carried  in  my  own  bosom.  I  saw  no  other  could 
possibly  hurt  iue,  if  I  could  but  conquei  mvseif.  1  read 
the  Bible  much  and  prayed  mucli,  and  found  man)  bles- 
sing-; from  the  Lord.  And  1  f  mml  in  particular  an  entire 
disengagement  from  all  earthly  things.  My  soul  was 
even  as  a  weaned  child.  1  was  willing  to  be  any  thino- 
or  n  itning.  1  had  no  desire  for  any  thing  in  this  w(»rld, 
but  to  live  unto  the  glory  of  G  »d.  '  Oh  how  easy  doe-  it 
make  every  thing,  when  we  Ciin  give  up  all  for  Christ ! 

After  1  had  i-peot  s  >ine  time  in  Devonshi-e  and  Corn- 
vail,  I  vva?.  sent  for  up  to  London.  Here  1  had  a  fever 
for  some  ti-ne.  When  1  was  pre'ty  well  rect)vered.  Mr. 
Wesley  desired  me  to  go  down  to  N  .wich.  I  was  not 
well  upon  tlie  road,  but  was  abundantiv  worse  when  I 
came  thither.  But  following  tlie  advice  of  a  skilful  man, 
1  was,  in  a  while  rtstored  to  perfect  health  and  strenoth. 
Here  I  f  )und  much  c-.mfort  among  a  poor  but  a  verv^lo* 
ving  people.  I  was  here  (putting  the  first  and  the  second 
time  together)  about  four  years.  But  in  the  latter  part 
of  this  time  I  had  many  trials  from  J.  Wiieatiey's  people. 
Mr.  Wesley  had  been  prevailed  upm  to  take  the  taber- 
nacle, and  to  .eceive  his  people  under  his  are.  W, ie.it- 
ley  used  to  call  tnem  ''his  dear  lambs,"  but  such  lion  like 
la  nbs  did  I  never  see.  Discipline  they  knewjiotdiii"-  of: 
eveiy  one  »vould  do  what  was  right  in  his' own  eyes* 
And  our  doctrine  was  an  abomination  to  then.  Great 
part  of  them  were  grounded  in  .\niinomianism  The 
very  sound  of  Perfectinn  they  abhorred:  they  could  hard- 
ly Dear  the  word  Holine:-,.  Nothing  was  pleasin"  to 
the  o,  but  "faith,  *dith;"  without  a  word  either  of  its  in- 
ward or  outward  fruiN. 

tietween  the  fir-,taiid  second  time  of  my  beino^  at  Nor- 
wici),  1  spent  ^otne  tune  in  Sussex.    The"  first  place  that 


£46  EXPERIENCE    Ol' 

I  preached  at  was  Rye,  where  no  Methodist  had  ever 
preached  before.  Yet  there  was  no  opposition,  but  they 
received  the  word  with  joy  and  readiness  of  mind.  And 
many  soon  felt  the  burden  of  their  sins,  several  of  whom 
quickly  found  peace  with  Gi  d.  Most  of  these  very  wil- 
liiii^ly  joined  together  in  a  little  society.  Some  of  them 
are  lodged  in  \braham's  bosom;  and  others  still  remaia 
walking  in  the  way  to  Zion. 

Hence  I  went  to  several  country  places.  But  they 
were  not  all  so  peaceable  as  Rye.  At  the  desire  of  a  se- 
rious man,  1  went  to  Hawkhurst — he  had  requested  me 
to  preach  at  his  own  house.  About  six  in  the  evening  I 
began;  but  1  had  not  spoke  many  words,  before  a  numer- 
ous mob  broke  in,  pulled  me  down  from  the  place  where 
I  stood,  and  forced  me  out  of  the  house.  Then  they  struck 
up  my  heels,  and  dragged  me  upon  my  back  about  half  a 
mile,  to  a  public  house,  called  Highgate,  where  1  found 
many  gentlemen,  with  the  minister  of  the  parish.  They 
asked  me,  by  what  authority  do  you  preach?  1  answered, 
l»y  the  authority  of  king  George — and  shewed  them  my 
license.  They  spoke  a  little  together,  and  said,  "You 
may  go  about  your  business."  But  observing  the  house 
was  filled  with  a  drunken  mob,  1  said,  "gentlemen,  1  will 
not  go,  unless  1  have  a  constable  to  guard  me."  They 
immediately  sent  for  a  constable,  who  guarded  me  to  the 
house  fiom  whence  I  came.  But  as  it  was  winter  time, 
and  the  road  very  dirty,  1  was  in  a  poor  condition;  beitjg 
a  good  deal  bruised,  and  my  clothes  all  plastered  over 
with  dirt.  However,  after  1  had  got  some  dry  clothes 
and  taken  a  little  refreshment,  I  prayed  with  the  family, 
and  then  God  gave  me  quiet  and  refreshing  sleep.  When 
1  came  to  London,  1  applied  to  a  lawyer,  who  sent  down 
writs  for  five  of  the  ringleaders.  But  they  quickly  cam« 
to  an  agreement.  They  readily  paid  all  the  char- 
ges. And  here  ended  our  persecution  in  Sussex.  I  found 
a  thankful  heart  for  a  good  king,  gooil  law^  and  liberty 
«>f  con^cience.  And  about  this  time  1  had  much  of  the  pre- 
sence of  the  Lord:  he  was  go  id  to  me,  both  a-  to  my  body 
and  soul.  1  prayed  much,  and  the  Lord  heard  me,  and 
delivered  me  fr»>m  all  my  fears. 

In  August.  1778,  1  was  stationed  in  Staffordshire^ 
where  1  spent  the  year  with  much  satisfaction.  I  now 
?oek  back  on  the  labor  of  three  and  thirty  years,  and  1  do 


MR.   THOMAS  MITCHELL,  247 

not  repent  of  it.  1  am  not  grown  weary  either  of  my  mas- 
ter or  tlie  work  1  am  engaged  in.  Though  1  am  weak  in 
bndj,  and  in  the  decline  of  life,  my  heart  is  still  tngaged 
in  tiie  cause  of  Gild  I  am  nevermore  happy  tlian  when 
1  feel  the  love  of  Christ  in  my  heart,  and  am  declaring 
his  praise  to  others.  There  is  nothing  like  the  love  of 
Christ  in  the  heart,  to  make  us  holy  and  happy.  It  is  love 
alone  that  expels  all  sin  out  of  the  heart.  Wheievei  love 
is  wanting,  theie  is  hell:  and  where  love  fills  the  heart, 
there  is  heaven.  This  has  been  a  medicine  to  me  ever 
since  I  set  out.  When  1  was  low,  it  was  this  that  raised 
me  up.  When  sin  and  satan  beset  me  on  every  side,  it 
was  this  that  drove  them  all  away. 

"O  love,  how  cheering  is  thy  ray! 

"All  pain  before  thy  presence  flies; 
"Care,  anguish,  sorrow,  melt  away. 

"Where'er  thy  healing  beams  arise. 
*'0  Jesus,  nothing  may  I  see,  , 

♦'Nothing  hear,  feel,  or  think  but  thee." 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


I  WAS  born  in  the  year  1736,  in  the  parish  of  Quin- 
ton,  in  ihe  county  of  Gloucestei.  My  father  dying 
while  1  was  young,  left  a  widow  and  five  children.  At 
thirteen  years  old  1  wa-.  bo.md  apprentice,  and  served 
for  eight  yeais.  I  was  never  hea<d,  du-ing  this  time,  to 
swear  a  vain  oath,  n(tr  was  ever  given  tu  lyinu,  garoing, 
drunkene*-.  or  any  other  presuiiptucius  sin,  but  was 
coiutnended  for  my  honesty  and  sobriety  And  f  om  my 
childhood  1  had,  at  tiine>,  serious  thoughts  on  death  and 
eterni'y 

1  seived  the  greatest  part  of  my  appienticeship  at 
Darlaslon,  in  Stafiford&hire.     Bui  at  the  age  of  twenty- 


248  KXPERIF.VOE    OF 

one.  I  removed  from  thence  to  \Vedne*bury. — Here  I 
t'lHiiiil  myself  in  cuntmuiil  danger  ot  lu>>iti^  tiic  Itttie  re- 
li'^ion  I  liail;  an  the  tuiniiv  id  which  I  lived  had  no  reli- 
gion at  all.  Therefoie  I  tuuk  the  tirbt  <>p|iurtiinit_v  that 
oHeicd,  id  removing  to  another  place.  Aixi  a  kind  pruvi> 
deuce  directed  me  to  a  fmnit},  that  teared  God,  and 
wrought  ri^hteotJMiess. 

1  Mion  went  *\iih  then*  to  hear  the  Metlo-dists,  which  1 
did  with  deep  ail«Mitiou:  and  when  iht:  preacliei  wa>.  de- 
Scribin>;;  the  tall  ot  man,  1  Minu^ht  he  :>poke  tu  ine  iu 
paiticiilar,  and  spoke  a»  it  he  had  knoun  e\er^  tiling 
that  was  in  my  heart.  When  he  described  the  nature 
and  fruits  of  faith,  1  wan  conscious  1  had  it  nut;  and 
tl.onjih  1  believed  all  ihescriplun-  to  be  of  God,  ^et  I  had 
not  the  ntarkd  of  a  Christian  bdievei.  And  1  was  cuu- 
viuced,  that  if  t  died  in  the  state  wlieiein  I  then  wa»,  I 
sl\ouid  be  miserable  forevei.  Yet  I  could  not  c mceive, 
how  I,  tliat  had  lived  so  sober  a  life,  c^uld  be  the  chief  of 
sinners.  H  it  this  wa-»  ni»t  li»ng:  for  1  no  sooner  discover- 
ed the  spintualiiv  of  tlie  law,  and  tiie  enoiiiy  that  was  iu 
mv  hean  agnin?t  God,  rliun  I  could  heartil}  agree  ro  it. 

I'tie  thoughts  of  death  niu\  judgment  now  ssiruck  me 
witli  terrible  feai .  I  had  a  keen  apprehensi  in  >)f  the 
wra'h  of  G<id,  and  the  fiery  indignation  due  lo  -iuners; 
80  tliat  I  couid  ha*  e  wislied  mvstif  anoiliila'ed,  (»r  to  be 
the  vilesi  creatuie,  if  1  could  but  escape  judj|,tneiit.  la 
this  -Ittte  I  was,  when  one  told  me,  ■*;  know  G  d,  for 
Ciiiist's  sake,  has  forgiven  all  my  ainii:  and  hissjini  vit- 
nesseth  with  my  spiiit,  that  1  am  a  ciiild  of  God."  I'liis 
gave  me  a  good  deai  .m  eocouragemeot.  And  1  dtrtermin- 
eil  i.e\er  to  re>t,  until  I  had  a  te>jtimouy  in  myself,  that 
my  ?iiis  also  were  forgiven.  But  in  the  mean  lime,  .'uch 
■was  the  da'  kne.<»s  1  was  in,  such  my  conscio  .sness  of  guilt, 
and  the  just  dispieasJie  of  Almighty  God,  that  1  could 
find  no  e  t  day  or  night,  eithd  for  Suul  or  body.  8o 
th-.if  life  was  a  burden,  and  I  became  regaidiesa  of  all 
things  undei  the  sun.  Now  ali  my  virtues,  vvnich  1  had 
some  leliance  on  once,  appeared  a>  filthy  rags.  And  .•  a- 
liy  discouraging  thoughts  were  put  into  my  mind;  as, 
"Many  a.e  called;  but  few  chosen.  Han  not  the  poiter 
powc  over  his  own  clay,  to  make  one  vessel  to  iionour, 
and  an  Mier  i<t  dislion.iui  r"  From  wliith  it  was  lUgj^est- 
eu  to  me,  that  I  was  made  to  dishonuur>  and  so  inu6t  in- 
evitably peiisb. 


WR.    RICHARD    WHATOOAT.  249 

On  September  S,  '758,  bein^  ovpiwhelmed  with  guilt 
and  fear,  as  1  was  reading,  it  was  as  if  one  whi>|)e!e(l  to 
me,  '-rhou  hads'  bet-er  read  no  more:  fur  the  more  thou 
readest  the  more  th-iu  wilt  kn(»w.  And  he  that  knowetli 
hi  Lord's  will  and  docth  it  not,  shall  b»'  beaten  with  many 
stii].es."  1  paused  a  little,  and  then  residved,  let  the 
consequence  be  what  it  may,  I  will  pioceed.  Whea 
I  came  to  those  woids,  "The  spirit  itself  beareth  witness 
with  t)ur  spirits,  that  we  are  the  child,  en  of  God;"  as  I 
fixt  m^  eyes  upon  them,  in  a  moment  my  darkne^  was 
removed,  and  the  spirit  did  bear  witness  with  my  Spirit, 
Ihai  I  was  a  child  of  God.  In  the  same  instant  1  was  fil- 
led with  unspeakable  peace,  and  joy  in  believing:  and  all 
fear  of  death,  judgment  and  hell,  suddenly  vanish&d 
away.  Before  this  1  was  kept  awake  by  anguish  and  fear, 
so  that  1  could  not  get  an  hours  so  nd  -leep  in  a  night. 
Now  I  wanted  not  sleep,  being  abundantly  refreshed  by 
contemplating  the  rich  display  of  God'-,  mercy  in  adopt- 
ing so  unworthy  a  creature  as  me  to  be  an  heir  of  the 
kingdom  of  heaven  ! 

This  peace  and  joy  continued  about  three  weeks,  affer 
which  it  was  suggested  to  me,  ''Hast  not  thou  deceived 
thyself?  Is  it  not  presumption,  to  think  thou  art  a  child 
of  God?  But  if  thou  art,  thou  wilt  soon  tall  away:  thou 
wilt  not  endure  to  the  end."  This  threw  me  into  great 
heaviness:  but  it  did  not  continue  long.  For  as  1  gave 
myself  unto  prayer,  and  to  reading  and  hearing  the  word 
of  God  at  all  opportunities,  my  evidence  became  clearer 
and  clearer,  my  faith  and  love  stronger  and  stronger. 
And  I  found  the  accomplishment  of  that  promise,  "They 
that  wait  iij)on  the  Lord,  shall  renew  their  st'cngth." 

Yet  1  soon  found,  that  though  1  was  justified  freely,  I 
was  not  wholly  sanctified.  This  brought  me  into  a  deep 
concern,  and  confirmed  my  resolution,  to  admit  of  no 
peace;  no,  nor  truce  with  the  evils  which  1  still  found  iu 
my  heart.  I  was  sensible  both  that  they  hindered  me  at 
present  in  all  my  holy  exercises,  and  that  I  could  not  en- 
ter into  the  joy  of  my  Lord;  unless  they  were  all  rooted 
out.  These  considerations  led  me  to  consiiler  more  at- 
tentively the  exceeding  great  and  precious  promises, 
whereby  we  may  escape  all  the  corruption  that  is  in  the 
world,  and  be  made  partakers  of  the  divine  naiure.  I 
was  much  confirmed  in  my  hope  of  their  accomplishment, 


^.5Q  EXPERIENCE   OF 

by  frequently  hearing  Mr.  Mather  speak  upon  the  sub- 
ject. 1  saw  it  was  the  mere  gift  «if  G<k1;  and  conse- 
quently to  be  received  by  faith.  And  after  many  sharp 
and  painful  conflict"*,  and  many  gtaciou«i  visitations,  on 
March  28^  1761,  my  spirit  was  drawn  out  and  engaged  in 
wiestlin|f  with  Gnd  f(»r  about  two  hours,  in  a  tnaiirier  1 
never  knew  bt*f<»re.  Suddenly  I  was  stripped  of  all  but 
love.  I  was  all  love  and  prayer  and  praise.  And  in  tliia 
happy  state,  rejoicing  eveimore,  and  in  e\ery  thi.ig  giv« 
jng  tj^nKs,  1  continued  for  some  year";  wanting  nnthing 
for  soul  or  body,  m  re  than  I  received  from  day  to  day, 

I  began  to  lo<  k  round,  and  to  observe  more  than  ever, 
the  whole  world  full  of  sin  and  misery.  I  felt  a  strong 
desire  for  others  to  partake  of  the  same  ha?ipiness  with 
myself.  I  longed  t«>  declare  unto  thi-m  what  I  knew  of 
our  Savioui.  But  1  first  >at  down  to  count  the  cost,  and 
being  then  fully  convinced  of  my  duty,  1  began  to  exhort 
those  of  the  neighbiui  ing  towns,  to  repent  and  believe 
the  gospel.  Thi'.  I  did  for  about  a  year  and  a  half;  but 
was  still  convinced,  I  nii^jht  be  more  useful  as  a  travel- 
ling preacher,  'i'hi^'  I  n,e  ^ioned  to  Mr.  Pawso.i,  a  little 
before  conference^  in  P69.  A  little  after  it,  he  wrote 
and  let  me  know,  that  i  c  had  proposed  me  at  the  confer- 
ence, and  tliat  I  was  acceptfd  as  a  probationer,  an<l  sta- 
ti(tned  in  the  Oxfoidshire  circuit.  Having  settled  my 
tempoial  aft'airs,  with  all  the  expedition  I  could,  I  went 
into  the  circuit,  atid  was  received  far  better  than  I  ex- 
pected. And  I  foun('  fiat  atfection  for  the  people,  which 
never  since  wore  otF.  After  spending  some  time  very 
agreeably  there,  1  believe  to  our  mutual  satisfaction.  1  re- 
mt>ved  to  Bedfiird  circuit,  where  1  remained  till  the  con- 
ference in  1774. 

I  was  then  appointed  for  Inniskillen  clicuit,  in  the 
North  ot  Ireland.  This  vvas  a  trial  to  me  on  several  ac- 
counts. I  v/as  an  utter  stranger  to  Ireland,  of  which  I 
had  heard  little  spoken:  I  had  a  great  aversion  to  sea  vuya- 
ge>.  And  what  troubled  me  more  than  all  was,  that  my 
mother  was  on  her  dying  bed.  But  she  knew  and  loved 
the  work  1  was  engaged  in.  So  she  willingly  gave  me  up 
to  the  Lord,  though  she  did  not  expect  to  see  me  any 
more,  till  we  met  in  eternity.  In  this  circuit  1  found  n»a- 
ny  things  that  were  not  pleasing  to  flesh  and  blood.  It 
took  us  eight  weeks  to  go  through  it;  aud  iu  this  time  we 


MR.   mCHAllD    WHATCOAT.  251 

slept  in  near  fifty  places,  s-ime  cold  enough,  some  damp 
enough;  and  others  not  -  e:  y  ciean.  VVt'Cotmnoiily  preach- 
ed two  or  three  d^nesadav  besides  incetinj^  tlie  s>icieties 
aiidvi-iting  t*'.e  ^lc;^:  and  very  freqiiently  weiiad  n..<  other 
fo  d  ihan  fiofiitoi^s  a:i(l  a  little  sail  meat.  Bv  trti^'  means, 
as  my  co  stitutioK  was  but  weak,  my  stretigtii  was  nearly 
exhausted  out  it  was  an  ample  ameiids,  to  see  that  i?ie 
wcrkot  toe  Lord  pronpered  in  our  hands.  Upward-  ot'two 
hund'ed  members  were  th«><  year  a«l»led  t<)llie  »ociet\;  a 
gi'eat  part  of  whom  had  found  ,'edemption  thron3;h  the 
bl"od  >)f  tlie  covenant.  Aad  I  was  entirely  willing  to 
wear  out  ajy  body  in  so  blessed  a  w  ^rk. 

But  1  was  noon  cut  short;  for  before  I  got  into  the  next 
circuit  where  I  was  stationed,  namely,  that  of  Arma^'b, 
my  labour  was  at  an  end;  my  body  quite  sunk  under  me. 
I   was  taken   with  an   entire  loss  of  appetite,  a  viole.'t 
bleeding  at  the  nose,  and  profuse  night-sweats,  so  that 
my  flesh  vvas  consumed  from  my  botie-i.  and  my  eyes  sunk 
in  my  head,  my  sight  S(>  failed  me,  s  •  that  I  could  not  dis- 
tinguish iny  mo>t  intimate  acquaintance  the  bi-eadt(i  of  a 
room.    But  although  my  life  was  quite  despaii  ed  of,  yet  it 
pleased  Gol  to  raise  me  up:  and  after  a  confinement  of 
twelve  weeks  at  Sydare.  I  removed  into  Armagh  circuit. 
But  going  out  before   I  ha«J   sufficiently   recove>ed  mj 
stiength,  the  cold  seized  upon  me,  and  caused  such  h  hu-  ~ 
mour  to  settle  in  my  leg-,  that  for  some  time  I  could  not 
set  my  feet  to  the  ground.     Bit  my  mind  being  »et  up  n 
my  work,  i  little  tegaided  the  pain  of  my  bodv,  s;)  lo  g 
as  1  was  able  to  sit  on  my  horse,  or  stand  and  -.peak  'o  t'.e 
people.     S  >  in  abott  a  fortnight  I  went  into  my  circjt 
ag-^iri:  but  in  a  fortnight  more  1  was  again  disabled    the 
humour  returning  so  violently,   that  1  was   laid   up  fur 
eight   weeks.     But  the-e   afflictions  weie   not  j^riewtus: 
they  were  all  sweetenetl  by  the  peace  ol  God  which  1  en- 
joyed, and  the  exceeding  kindMes^  <if  my  friends  where 
1  was.     Lord  remem'oer  them  fo  j;()<>d! 

By  my  re-pite  from  preaching,  while  I  travelled  to 
Dublin,  and  aftec  wards  to  Loiuhin,  and  by  the  freque.t 
use  nf  bathing,  both  in  salt,  and  in  fesh  wa  er.  I  gradual- 
ly recoveied  my  healih.  A:id  I  have  great  reason  to  Me-8 
G<i(i,  who  has  piesei  ved  me  liuiin.;  tue  eleven  years  to-it 
1  have  been  aa  iiiueraut  preacher,    in  this  time  he  has 


252  EXPERIENCE    OP 

de'ivercd  me  from  many  troubles,  both  of  body  and  mind. 
He  has  enabled  me  to  persevere  in  my  labour,  u  ith  a  ^in- 
gle eve. — lie  has  kept  my  heart  di-tngaged  from  all  crea- 
ture loves,  and  all  desire  of  worldly  happiness.  And  I 
can  stillf^ruly  say, 

*'Rlest  with  the  scorn  of  finite  g-ood, 
"My  soul  is  lighted  of  ]>ei'  load; 
"And  seeks  the  things  above." 

With  the  same  work,  and  in  the  same  spirit  may  I  fill 
up  the  remnant  of  my  day^!  Then  may  I  join  the  choirs 
around  the  one,  and  give  blessing,  and  glory,  and  wisdom, 
and  thanksy,i«iog,  and  honour,  and  p 'wer,  and  might, 
unto  God  and  the  Lamb  fur  ever  and  ever! 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


I  WAS  born  in  London,  September  22,  1739.  My 
mother  being  pregnant  with  me.  heard  the  first  sermon 
which  Mr.  U'esley  preached  at  the  Fnundery.  Soon  af- 
ter, she  found  peace  with  God,  and  walked  worthy  of  the 
gospel  to  the  day  of  her  death,  having  been  a  member  of 
the  societv  upward*  of  thirtv  years. 

I  had  the  fii«jt  part  of  :i.y  education  at  the  Fouodery 
school,  so  that  I  was  earlv  insttucted  in  the  principles  of 
religion.  But  I  was  no  better  than  if  I  had  not  been  in- 
structed at  all;  for  God  ua«  ni>t  in  all  my  thougbts.  Be- 
tween thirteen  and  foui  teen  I  was  put  apprentice  to  a 
man  v.ho  had  some  degree  of  the  lear  of  God.  For  about 
three  years  he  was  able  to  mana<ie  me;  but  afterwards  I 
neither  reganled  the  threatenings  of  my  (oastei,  nor  the 
counsels  of  an  afFeciona'te  ni  "tlier;  but  ran  on  in  my  own 
wavs.  When  my  apprenticeship  was  out.  I  wa>  for  ten 
yeais  a  faithful  servant  of  th*>  devii.  But  for  the  last 
two  years,  1   was  very  far  from  being  a  willing  captivej 


MK.    WILLIAM    UREEK.  255 

Quae  hour  praying  against  sin,  the  next  falling  into  it.  I 
c<»uid  truly  say,  "The  good  that  I  would,  I  do  notj  but  the 
evil  which  I  would  not,  that  I  do." 

About  Julv,  1770,  a  person  lent  me  one  of  Mr.  Wes- 
ley's journals.  I  read  it  with  prayers  and  tearl^  seeing 
much  beauty  in  being  persecuted  for  righteousness* 
sake.  Soon  after,  I  read  bishop  Taylor's  Rules  tor  holy 
living  and  dying:  one  pas^a^e  struck  me  much:  "A  true 
lover  of  God  is  more  grieved  on  account  of  an  impure 
dream,  tlian  one  who  does  not  love  him  is,  on  account  of 
a  gross  outwaid  sin."  And  it  put  me  upon  praying  ear- 
nestly, that  God  would  give  me  his  love. 

In  Augufct  following,  Mr.  Wesley  coming  to  town,  I 
went  with  eagerness  to  hear  hins.  His  text  was,  ''My 
son  give  me  thy  heart."  But  he  shot  over  my  head;  I  un- 
derstood nothing  about  it.  However,  I  went  in  the  even- 
ing to  Moorfields,  and  heard  Mr.  Murlin  preach;  and 
there  it  pleased  God  to  touch  my  heart.  I  went  directly 
home,  greatly  affected:  so  that  my  wife,  though  a  serious 
woman,  could  not  imagine  what  was  the  matter  with  me. 
But  these  impressions  wore  off.  and  I  still  continued  a 
slave  to  gaming,  my  besetting  sin.  However,  I  continued 
to  hear  on  sabbaths,  and  was  much  pleased  with  what  I 
heard.  And  after  a  time,  my  dear  mother,  by  much  per- 
suasion, prevailed  upon  me  to  meet  in  a  class.  From  this 
time  my  chains  began  to  fall  off.  I  tliink  I  had  not  met 
above  three  times,  before  all  my  outwaid  sins  left  me,  and 
1  shook  off  all  my  old  companions. 

I  vva>  now  a  close  attendant  on  all  the  m^ans  of  grace. 
1  clearly  saw  that  I  was  a  fallen  spii  it;  and  1  as  clearly  sawj 
that  religion  wa-i  to  restore  me  to  that  image  ofGjd  frura 
which  1  fell.  It  was  now  the  fear  of  God  took  place  in 
my  soul.  But  in  this  1  was  greatly  mistaken;  !  thought 
myself  a  good  believer;  whereas  1  was  then  as  ignorant  of 
the  nature  of  faith  as  1  am  now  of  Greek.  Soon  after  I 
heard  Mr.  Wesley  preach  on  "Believe  in  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ,  and  thou  sliait  bj  saved."  I  listened  very  atten* 
tively;  but  still  could  not  find  out  what  faith  was. 

The  same  evening  I  went  to  Mr.  Alaxfield's  chapel.  He 
was  preaching  upon  the  same  text.  He  said  "Faith  is  a 
divine  conviction  that  Christ  died  for  me."  But  I  found 
I  could  no  more  give  myself  this,  conviction,  than  1  could 
make  a  world.  It  was  upw  the  Holv  Ghost  convincetl 
2^ 


254  EXPEniEKCE  or 

me  of  sin,  because  1  believed  not  in  Jesus.  1  went  home 
in  deep  heaviness,  and  told  my  wife,  1  was  an  unbeliev- 
er, and  that  if  I  died  as  1  was,  I  should  go  to  hell.  I  was 
utterly  slain  by  those  words,  '-lie  that  believeth  not, 
shall  be  tj^mned."  For  want  of  this  conviction  of  unbe- 
lief, how  many  thousands  st<tp  short  of  saving  faith. 

But  though  I  was  so  fully  convinced  of  sin,  I  was  so 
far  from  heitig  discouraged,  that  I  was  all  hope;  knowing 
that  if  all  the  sins  of  the  world  were  upon  me,  the  mer- 
cies of  God  infinitely  surpassed  them  all. 

About  Christmas  i  went  to  hear  the  Letters  read.  One 
of  which  gave,  an  account  of  a  wonderful  work  among  the 
children  at  Kingswood,  some  of  whmn  were  determined 
not  to  eat  or  sleep  till  they  knew  their  sins  were  forgiv- 
en. 1  went  home  full  of  the  spirit  ef  mourning,  and  yet 
big  with  earnest  expectation.  The  next  day  my  sorrow 
was  so  great,  that  1  could  not  work:  till,  upon  praying 
with  a  fiiend,  the  cloud  began  to  disperse,  and  a  light 
broke  into  my  soul.  But  I  was  deterunneJ  not  to  be  sa- 
tisfied with  any  thing  short  of  an  assurance  of  pardon. 
In  this  situation  of  mind  1  went  to  bed — about  two  o'clock 
the  nest  morning,  December  SO,  1770,  1  was  awakened 
by  a  full  senhe  of  the  love  of  God.  The  skies  poured 
down  righteousness  into  my  soul,  and  I  could  Doldly  say^ 
"For  me,  I  now  believe  he  died  ! 
"He  made  my  every  crime  his  own.** 

I  was  now  happy  in  God;  his  spirit  bearing  witness 
with  my  spirit,  that  1  was  a  child  of  God.  But  about 
three  days  after,  I  was  sorely  tempted;  and  a  thought 
striking  my  mind,  that  1  was  to  be  a  pnacher,  this  put 
me  upon  many  reasonings,  which  strenghtened  the  tempt- 
ation. 1  believe  the  thought  was  from  God:  yet,  for  six 
weeks  I  was  greatly  perplexed.  However,  I  never  lost, 
for  one  moment,  the  sen.se  of  my  acceptance.  Yea,  and 
I  knew  the  work  of  the  spirit  was  going  on,  and  felt  the 
blessedness  of  enduring  temptation. 

Being  at  Spitalfields  on  sabbath,  1  was  greatly  strength- 
ened while  those  words  were  singing, 

"Ev'n  now  the  Lord  doth  pour 

"His  blessings  from  above; 
"A  kindly  gi-iiciousshow'r 
"Ot  heart-reviving  love: 
"The  former  and  the  latter  rain, 
"The  love  of  God  and  love  of  man.* 


MR.    WILLIAM   GREEN,  255 

My  faith  was  strengthened;  my  peace  flowed  like  a  riv- 
er, and  i  had  a  clearer  view  of  a  crucified  Saviour.  About 
this  time  a  hymn-book  of  Mr.  Charles  Wesley's  fell  into 
my  hands,  which  speaks  largely  and  particularly  con- 
eerniuj^  entire  sanctification.  I  read  it  with  attentiou, 
and  comparing  it  with  the  scripture,  a  fair  prospect  open- 
ed to  my  view.  At  the  same  time  1  saw  my  vast  distance 
from  it,  in  a  manner  I  never  did  before.  And  yet  1  want- 
ed to  see  if  more,  and  could  not  bow  my  knew,  but  words 
to  this  purpose  flawed  from  my  lips, 

"Shew  ine,  as  my  soul  can  bear, 

"The  depth  of  iabred  sin; 
"All  the  unbelief  declare, 

"The  pride  that  lurks  within." 

My  prayer  was  answered:  1  had  a  surprising  view  of 
the  total  sinfulness  of  my  heart.  1  knew  this  discovery 
was  from  God.  1  believed  it  possible  to  be  saved  from 
all  sin  before  death.  I  believed  it  possible  to  be  thus  sav- 
ed in  a  moment:  and  1  believed  that  moment  was  near. 
So  that  1  could  cheerfully  sing, 

"The  glorious  crown  of  righteousness 

"To  me  reach'd  out,  to  view; 
"Conqueror  through  him,  I  soon  shall  seize 

"And  wear  it,  as  my  due." 

In  this  state  of  raind  I  went  to  Spitalncld's  chapel. 
Mr.  Wesley's  text  was,  "Now  is  the  day  of  salvation." 
He  addressed  himself  chiefly  to  believers.  1  found  1  was 
one  to  whom  this  word  of  salvation  v/as  sent.  An  inex- 
pressible  hunger  and  thirst  after  full  salvation  took  place 
in  my  soul. — And  I  thought,  surely  1  i^hall  be  filled  there- 
with. But,  the  question  is,  when  ?  The  answer  was, 
If  thou  canst  believe,  now  is  the  day  of  salvation.  And 
I  was  clearly  convinced  of  unbelief,  as  1  was  before  my 
justification.  God  told  me  his  time  was  now.  Unbelief 
told  me,  it  was  not  now.  O  the  wickedness  of  a  heart, 
that  is  but  partly  renewed  in  the  image  of  God! 

As  1  formerly  felt  that  I  only  wanted  faith,  in  order  to 
be  justified,  so  1  now  felt,  that  1  only  wanted  faith,  irt 
order  to  be  sanctified.  But  I  knew,  every  one  that  ask- 
eth,  receiveth.  I  therefore  gave  myself  to  prayer,  nothing 
doubting  but  God  would  answer.  For  two  days  1  pray- 
ed continually.  I  prayed  in  my  shop:  1  prayed  in  the 
street:  1  prayed  rising  up:  I  prayed  lying  down.  The 
Ijord  heard  and  answered  me.    At  the  end  of  two  days. 


250  ilXPElllEKCE    O^ 

it  seemed  as  if  mv strength  failed  me, and  1  could  onlj  say 
"Lord  I  will  believe;  help  thou  my  unbelitfl"'  I  was  en- 
abled  tu  bring  the  words  to  the  present  moment.  I  felt 
that  faith  which  bringelh  salvation,  and  rejoiced  with 
joy  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory.  In  that  moment  I  was 
as  clearly  saved  from  gin,  as  ever  1  was  justified.  And 
this  blessing  was  bestowed  upon  me,  only  eight  week* 
after  the  former.  ^ 

Surely  when  God  gives  any  blessing,  it  is  his  will  that 
we  should  keep  it.  But  I  did  not  keep  this  long.  I  fan- 
eied.  because  I  had  much  love,  1  had  much  knowledge, 
and  that,  therefore,  few  could  teach  me.  I  forgjit  that  I 
had  need  every  moment  of  the  intercession  of  ChrisK 
And  1  fixt  my  own  meaning  on  several  texts  of  scrip- 
ture, which  exposed  me  to  a  flood  of  enthusiasm.  This 
brought  on  some  loving  opposition  from  my  brethren, 
which  was  not  always  received  in  the  spirit  of  meekness. 
And  1  sunk  lower  and  lower,  till  1  had  no  longer  any  pre- 
tence to  perfect  love.  Hut,  notwithstanding  my  great 
tinfaithfulneiss,  God  did  not  wholly  withdraw  himself 
fiom  me.  I  still  retained  a  sense  of  acceptance,  which 
indeed  I  have  not  lost  an  hour  since  I  first  received  it.- 
But  yet  I  sensibly  felt,  that  it  is  an  evil  and  a  bitter 
thin"-,  to  sin    against  God.     My  natural  tempers  again 

°  ..      ,  J  :  '  <    .  •  ..       >r  r  -11.       r    .  -  .  _ 

prevailed,  and  l  couia  not  Keep  mj'seii  irom  nuns,  i  win 
barely  kept  from  outward  sin.  And  this,  I  knew,  was 
Dot  my  own  strength. 

Toward  the  latter  end  of  the  year  1774  it  pleased  God 
to  stir  me  up  anew.  I  was  deeply  convi:iced  of  my  fall^ 
I  again  felt  foolish  de^irea.,  the  fear  of  man,  and  various 
vther  evils  in  my  heart.     And  I  could  truly  say, 

"'Tis  worse  than  death  my  God  to  love, 
**  And  not  my  (Jod  alone!" 

'Till  that  memorable  day,  December  12,  1774;  yea,  on 
the  former  part  of  that  day,  I  was  torn  by  uniuly  pas- 
sions, by  the  love  of  the  world,  and  a  train  of  evils.  Vet 
in  the  midst  of  all  1  poured  out  my  soul  to  God  in  much, 
prayer.  In  the  midst  of  all  a  thought  sprung  up,  *«I  will 
go  to  the  tabernacle."  I  went,  being  still  in  the  spirit  of 
prayer. — Mr.  Joss  preached  from  part  of  the  fourth  chap- 
ter to  the  Romans.  Although  1  could  not  agree  with  him 
that  "all  believers  are  staggerer;^"  yet  his  preaching  so 
wuch  below  my  experience,  was  sanctified  to  me.  I  Wok* 


WR.    WILi^IAM    GREEN.  257 

ed  to  God,  and  the  spirit  of  supplication  was  poured  into 
my  soul.  I  was  athirst  for  God,  I  opened  my  moutli 
wide,  and  indeed  he  filled  it.  He  spoke  to  my  heart,  "I 
will  cleanse  thee  from  all  thy  filthiness  and  from  all  thine 
idols,"  These  words  passed  my  mind  several  times,  be- 
fore 1  attended  to  them.  At  length  I  started  and  thought, 
surely  this  is  the  voice  of  God  to  my  soul.  I  determin- 
ed to'huld  the  promise  fast,  though  satan  endeavored  to 
tear  it  from  me.  This  was  about  the  middle  of  the  ser- 
mon, the  latter  part  of  which  was  made  very  useful  to 
me,  the  spirit  of  Gi)d  applying  it  in  a  higher  sense  than 
the  preacher  intended  it  I  went  home,  praying  all  the 
way,  my  whole  attention  being  fixed  upon, 
"The  sure  prophetic  word  of  grace, 
"That  glimmer'd  through  ray  nature's  night."    - 

I  then  felt  unspeakable  happiness  in  my  deliverance. 
But  a  query  came,  '-How  will  it  be  to-morrow?"  It  was 
answered  in  my  heart,  "To-morrow  shall  be  as  this  day, 
and  much  more  abundant." 

The  next  morning  1  rose  to  the  preaching  with  ease, 
which  before  seemed  an  impossibility.  In  tiie  course  of  a 
day  there  are  not  wanting  in  a  family,  many  little  trying 
circumstances.  Some  temptations  also  to  pride,  to  anger, 
and  to  self-will,  presented  themselves.  But  in  all  things 
I  was  more  than  conqueror.  The  fear  of  man  likewise 
was  removed,  so  thai  I  could  reprove,  warn,  and  exhort 
every  one.  Meantime  the  promises  flowed  into  my  heart 
without  obstruction.  1  easily  perceived  the  change  was 
universal,  and  felt  that  1  was  cleansed  from  all  my  idols, 
and  all  my  filthinesS.  And  I  seemed  to  have  light  equal 
to  my  love;  so  that  in  one  week  1  had  a  clearer  insigWt  in- 
to the  life  of  faith,  than  1  had  for  several  years.  Thus 
Jesus  saves  his  people  from  their  sins. 

My  heart  being  thus  set  at  liberty,  a  thought  which  I 
had  had  3'ears  before,  that  it  was  the  will  of  God  1  should 
be  a  preacher,  returned  with  greater  force  than  ever. 
But  I  remembered,  "he  that  believeth  shall  not  make 
haste,"  and  was  thoroughly  willing  to  wait  God's  time. 
I  knew  it  was  God's  "work,  and  his  only,  to  make  a 
preacher  of  the  gospel,  and  that  the  more  passive  I  was, 
the  more  fit  1  should  be  for  the  master's  use.  In  tiis 
peaceful  frame  of  mind  1  remained,  attending  to  the  lead- 
ing of  his  spirit,  and  the  opening  of  his  providence,  till 


S58  EXPERIENCE    OF 

rot  long.after,  1  went  with  some  of  our  friends  to  a  work- 
house, -where  one  of  theni  preached.  As  we  were  com- 
ing back,  one  of  our  brethren  asked  me,  ''Are  you  will- 
ing to  give  them  a  sermon  next  sabbath  morning?"  I 
looked  upon  this  to  be  a  call  of  Providence,  and  therefore 
durst  not  refuse  it.  So  1  went  and  spoke  to  them  from 
those  words,  "Ask,  and  it  shall  be  given  youj"  and  1  bad 
a  testimony  within,  that  1  pleased  God. 

Not  long  after,  being  exceeding  weary  in  body,  and 
having  much  business  upon  my  hands,  my  spirits  sunk, 
and  I  thought,  "How  is  it  possible  for  me  to  work  till 
twelve  o'clock  at  night?  Besides  1  am  to  preach  at  the 
workhouse-house  in  the  morning."  Just  then  the  power 
of  the  Highest  overshadowed  me,  and  God  spoke  with 
power,  "Lo!  I  am  with  thee  always."  The  wurds  point- 
ed me  at  first,  to  the  work  1  had  to  do  the  next  morning. 
But  1  thought  also,  should  1  not  expect  power  now,  to 
carry  me  through  my  business?  Weariness  vanished 
away,  and  i  went  on  swiftly,  for  the  grace  of  God  car- 
ried me. 

In  the  morning  1  preached  as  1  had  appointed:  when  I 
had  done,  1  thought,  I  have  made  a  stammering  piece  of 
work.  But  that  word  was  immediately  applied,  "The 
tongue  of  the  stammerer  shall  speak  plainly."  From 
this  time  1  constantly  attended  the  work-house;  but  was 
particularly  careful  to  keep  the  life  of  God  iu  my  own 
soul.  I  saw  religion  was  neither  more  nor  less  than 
the  constant  union  of  the  soul  with  God,  and  used  all  di- 
ligence to  shun  those  rocks  on  which  i  had  split  before.  1 
labored  to  retain  a  sense  of  the  littleness  of  my  under- 
standing, that  1  might  always  be  open  to  instruction:  and 
I  depended  not  on  my  grace  of  gifts,  but  upon  the  Giver, 
living  by  faith  in  the  Son  of  God. 

As  to"  the  acting  in  a  more  public  manner,  1  was  entire- 
ly passive.  I  thought,  if  ever  1  do  &peak  in  public,  1  will 
be  a  preacher  of  God's  making.  In  this  spirit  I  continu- 
ed, till  going  to  the  Founder^,  one  Saturday  evening,  I 
'was  informed,  that  Mr.  Wesley  had  appointed  me  to 
preach  there,  the  next  morning.  I  was  surprised;  but  I 
thought,  how  can  I  honor  my  spiritual  Father,  unless  1  do 
what  he  orders  me?  Sol  went  and  preached  on,  "The 
Xord  whom  ye  seek  shall  suddenly  come  to  his  temple.'* 

For  a  minute  after  1  had  nanaed  my  text,  1  treiiibled  and 


MH.   WILLIAM    GREKN.  259 

could  hardlj  utter  a  word.  But  I  then  found  he]p^  an<l 
spoke  about  forty  minutes  without  any  difficulty.  Af- 
terwards I  preached  at  Bow,  on,  ''Without  holiness  no 
man  shall  see  the  Lord."  And,  after  a  few  trials,  I 
was  thoroughly  convinced,  that,  provided  his  soul  be 
truly  alive  to  God,  the  life  of  a  preachef  of  the  gospel  is 
the  happiest  life  under  heaven. 

I  wasnoAV  received  into  the  number  of  local  preachers. 
But  1  was  fearful  of  putting  myself  forward,  lest  1  should 
run  before  the  spirit.  I  never  asked  to  pieach  at  this  or 
the  other  place,  receiving  the  appointment  of  the  Assist- 
ant as  a  call  from  God.  How  happy  would  it  be  for  the 
preachers,  if  f  hey  were  all  to  follow  the  guidance  of  the 
Spirit,  rather  than  their  own  will!  Then  nothing  would 
come  amiss.  In  a  few  months  1  preached  in  all  the  chap, 
els  in  London,  and  when  summer  came  on,  in  Moorlields, 
Marybone  fields,  and  on  Tower-hdl:  all  the  time  blessing 
God  foi-  being  kept  from  that  false  humility  which  shackles 
so  many!  My  unfitness  never  stood  in  my  way.  Indeed 
I  cannot  but  think  all  who  are  called  of  God  to  preach, 
are  some  way  fitted  for  the  work;  if  not,  the  Loid  of  the 
vineyard  doed  not  know  hisbusines!  However,  ^ure  1  am, 
that  humility  of  this  kind,  is  iticonsistent  with  peifect 
love.  I  believe,  genuine  humility  makes  a  man  invul- 
nerable, by  the  praise  or  dispraise  of  men. 

From  this  time  I  continued  to  preach,  and  to  labor  dili- 
gently with  my  hands,  that  Imight  provide  things  honest 
in  the  sight  of  all  men,  till  in  August,  1777,  1  was  called 
to  suffer  the  will  of  God,  being  about. three  months  undei- 
a  surgeon's  hands:  he  at  last  pronounced  the  case  despe- 
rate; of  which  my  wife  informed  me  with  tears  in  her  eyes. 
In  that  instant,  three  scriptures  came  to  my  mind.  '-All 
power  is  given  to  me  in  heaven  aiid  in  earth.  The  things 
impossible  with  men  are  possible  with  God. — The  right 
hand  of  the  Lord  hath  the  pre-eminence;'*  and  I  was  fully 
assured  1  should  not  die:  mean  time  1  sutiered  the  will  of 
God  willingly,  cheerfully,  joyfully.  By  this  illness  1  was 
cured  of  another  disorder,  which  otherv\ive  must  ha-,  e 
been  my  death,  and  was  made  more  capable  both  inward- 
Jy  and  outwaidly,  of  doing  the  work  I  was  called  to. 

When  1  gathered  strength,  1  was  advised  logo  into  the 
country;  and  being  recommended  to  our  friends  atDark- 
jng,  1  speut  sixteen  days  with  them.     May    God  repay 


£bU  SXP£RI£NC£    dF 

them  lor  the  love  they  shewed  me!  When  I  came  back 
I  was  quite  capable  of  my  business,  which  1  cheerfully 
entered  upon,  being  equally  willing  to  work  at  my  trade, 
or  to  preach  the  gospel.  But  in  the  latter  end  of  July, 
1780,  one  asking  me,  whether  I  had  no  thoughts  of  being 
a  travelling  preacher?  I  owned  1  had:  and  having  just 
buried  two  of  my  children,  1  thought  the  time  was  come, 
I  wa>i  accordingly  proposed  at  the  Bristol  conference, 
and  appointed  for  the  Salisbury  circuit.  Many  of  my 
prudent  fi  lends  blamed  me  much  for  leaving  a  quiet, 
coiufirtable  bu>^ines8.  But  I  had  counted  the  cost.  So 
on  Monday,  September  11,  I  set  out  for  Salisbury. 
When  I  left  my  wife  and  three  children,  1  felt  a  mixture 
of  joy  and  grief,  but  with  a  full  resignation  to  the  will 
of  God.  1  have  been  about  five  months  in  my  circuit, 
and  am  more  convinced,  that  tliiu  is  the  pleasantest  life 
under  heaven.  Though  1  have  left  ray  wife,  and  chil- 
di  en,  and  tiearest  friends,  and  house,  and  business,  1  wan- 
der about,  chiefly  on  f<*ot,  (hri>ugh  cold  and  rain,  I  ind 
my  mind  uninterruptedly  happy;  1  feel  a  constant  wit- 
ness of  the  work  wrought  in  my  heart  by  the  spirit  of  ho- 
liness. 1  have  received  in  iU\»  world  a  hundred  fold; 
"and  1  JcnoWf  that  when  my  earthly  house  of  this  taber- 
nacle is  dissolved,  1  have  a  building  of  Godj  a  house  not 
Tnad«  with  hands,  eternal  in  the  heavens." 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 

Sim*  ©^sr©ikif  i?mi®a^» 


I  WAS  born,  May,  1736,  in  the  Kirktown  of  Fortin- 
oale,  near  the  river  Lyon,  and  not  far  from  the  lovely 
banks  of  the  *-Soft-w lading  Tay,"  Breadalbin,  Perth- 
shire. 

I  claim  kindred  to  the  Stuarts,  M»Donalds,and  M'Gre- 
gors  families  perhaps  more  famed  in  story  for  martial 
exploits,  than  for  any  estraordiuary  attainments  in  reli- 
gion. 

It  might  have  been  better  for  me  to  have  had  a  hardy. 
Highland  educationj  but  of  this  I  was  deprived  by  the 


MR.    DVNCAN    WRIGHT.  2G1 

vemoval  of  my  parents  to  Eilinburg;,  when  1  was  very 
young.  Here  1  had  the  best  etiucatiun  my  father  could 
give  me,  who  was  my  only  schoolmaster;  but  1  doubt, 
knew  little  of  the  life  and  power  of  religion.  Yet  he 
prayed  with  us  at  times,  made  us  learn  the  assembly's 
shorter  catechism,  and  took  care  of  us  to  the  best  of  his 
knowledge.  I  lo^t  hira  early,  which  was  a  loss  indeed! 
For  my  mother  being  too  easy  and  indulgent,  let  us  have 
our  own  way,  which  led  u«^  to  all  the  follies  and  sins  we 
were  capable  of.  I  do  not  remember  that  any  creature 
took  any  pains  to  instruct  me  till  1  was  near  twenty 
Years  of  age;  but  old  lady  D.  of  Prestun-Field,  who,  at 
times,  advised  me  as  well  as  she  could.  And  yet  the 
Lord  did  not  leave  me  \rithout  drawings  from  above:  for 
having  a  bookish  inclination,  I  read,  and  wept  very  oftea 
till  my  head  ached,  and  hardly  knew  what  ailed  me.  On- 
ly I  wanted  to  be  a  Christian,  and  to  be  easy  and  happy, 
but  knew  not  how.  Had  aiiy  living  Christian  taken  a 
little  pains  to  inform  me  I  doubt  not  but  I  should  have 
embraced  the  offers  of  mercy  long  before  I  did.  Indeed 
I  never  felt  any  spirit  of  opposition  to  religion  and  reli- 
gious persons.  For  a*  I  had  neither  the  form  nor  the 
power  of  religion  tnyself,  1  knew  1  had  little  reason  to 
speak  an  unkind  woVd  of  those  that  had  anj  annearanc? 
rii  eiiner. 

1  was  from  my  infancy  feeble  and  tender:  yet  having 
many  relations  in  the  array,  no  employment  would  re- 
lish with  me  but  a  soldier's  life;  hence  my  mother  never 
c«»uld  prevail  with  me  to  follow  any  regular  business, 
and  this  exposed  me  to  vain  and  wicked  company.  Yet 
having  some  tenderness  of  conscience  left,  repenting  and 
sinning,  resolving  and  breaking  through  ray  resolutions, 
made  my  life  a  weariness  indeed.  So,  in  order  to  be 
happy,  1  resolved  to  see  the  world  in  a  military  life. 
Hence  I  enlisted  the  latter  end  of  \T54,  into  the  tenth 
regiment  of  foot.  None  of  my  friends  knew  what  was 
become  of  me,  till  I  wrote  to  my  mother  from  Limerick, 
in  Ireland.  My  mother  being  infirm,  did  not  survive  this 
long,  she  died  the  spring  following:  and  I  fear  my  diso- 
bedience hastened  her  departure.  An  awakened  con- 
science will  smait,  iifst  or  last,  for  this  sin,  among  others, 
stubbornness  and  disobedience  to  parents.  So  did  mine: 
for  the  day  I  enlisted,  1  thought,  now  Ihave  done  for  soul 


Si&a  EXPERIEKCE    OF 

and  body;  for  I  could  form  no  conception  how  a  soldier 
could  be  religious. 

In  the  summer  of  1755,  we  encamped  near  the  city  of 
Cashel,  eight  regiments  of  foot,  and  two  of  horse,  where 
William  Coventry,  a  corporal  in  the  royal  Scotch,  fre- 
quently preached.  I  heard  him  once,  and  felt  nothing 
but  a  kind  of  wonder  at  his  courage  in  preaching  among 
such  a  set  an  we  were.  I  little  thought,  that  in  less  than 
f<-ur  years,  1  should  be  engaged  in  the  same  work,  in  ano- 
ther camp. 

We  returned  to  Limerick  for  winter  quarters,  where  I 
began  to  consider  (as  the  soldiers  had  then  a  great  deal 
of  leisure  time  in  the  winter)  how  I  should  pass  my 
tedious  moments;  I  could  play  at  cards,  and  other  games, 
(then  common  among  the  soldiery,  but  now  happily  sup- 
pi  essed)  but  I  seldom  liked  my  company.  For  though 
1  could  swear  sometimes,  yet  I  could  not  relish  so  muck 
of  it,  as  they  were  addidted  to.  I  therefore  bought  and 
borrowed  all  the  plays,  novels,  and  romances  I  could  laj 
my  hands  upon:  reading  late  and  early.  And  my  read- 
ing had  thif«  effect  at  least,  that  it  kept  me  out  of  worse 
diversions,  and  gave  my  mind  a  turn  above  such  intem- 
perance and  lewdness,  as  were  too  common  among  men 
of  my  rank. 

At  last  an  old  soldier,  in  the  same  barrack  roon\  witb 
me,  tound  fault  with  me  for  spending  ray  time,  and 
spoiling  my  eyes  in  reading  such  trash.  I  thought 
I  will  shew  you,  I  can  read  religious  books  as  well  as 
others.  But  I  had  none  of  my  own.  I  borrowed  two 
from  one  of  our  soldiers.  One  of  them  was  the  "Marrow 
of  modern  Divinity,"  which  being  wrote  by  way  of  dia- 
logue, attracted  by  attention;  and  before  I  read  it  half 
through,  I  was  truly,  though  ge?itty  convinced,  thall  was 
a  lost  sinner,  and  that  Christ  was  all  1  wanted  to  make 
me  easy,  satisfied,  and  happy. 

Now  it  was  that  a  deep  sense  of  my  time,  youth,  and 
health,  spent  in  sin  and  folly;  my  ingratitude  to  God,  the 
best  of  fathers;  my  slighting  of  Christ  so  long,  and  griev- 
ing the  blessed  Spirit,  melted  my  heart,  and  made  my 
eyes  a  fountain  of  tears. — I  awoke  as  from  a  dream,  and 
saw  all  about  me,  like  the  men  of  Sodom,  blind  and  grop- 
ing about  for  happiness;  or  asleep,  with  storms  of  wrath 
ready  to  burst  upon  their  heads.    The  immediate  conse- 


MR.    BUKCAN   WKIGHT.  363 

quence  was,  a  distaste  to  all  my  books  and  diversions.  I 
exchanged  thetn  for  religious  tracts:  and  having  a  pray- 
ing heart,  it  soon  found  a  praying  place;  for  as  I  had  no 
place  of  retirement  in  mv  room,  I  found  a  covered  batte- 
ry on  the  castle  wall.  This  soon  became  my  closet;  and 
when  on  guard,  1  used  to  cover  my  head  with  my  watch 
cloak,  ai»d  stopping  my  ears  with  my  fingers,  spent  many 
a  happy  moment  iu  converse  with  God,  weeping  and 
making  supplication. 

Although  1  now  forsook,  in  a  sense,  all  for  Christ,  yet 
there  was,  at  times,  such  a  mixture  of  seriou»<nes8  and 
levity,  that  some  might  conclude  I  had  no  tincture  of  the 
fear  of  Gid,  But  my  trifling  in  the  day,  made  me  often 
water  my  couch  with  tears  at  night.  But  I  had  none  to 
guide  me;  I  did  not  know  a  man,  among  seven  hundred 
that  had  any  knowledge  of  such  a  work  as  1  now  felt  in 
my  mind.   • 

There  was  one  indeed,  who  I  thought  must  have  some- 
thing in  him,  because  he  was  sober,  and  read  good  books. 
But  when  I  be^an  to  tell  a  little  of  what  1  fcit,  I  found 
him  an  entire  stranger  to  every  thing  of  tlie  kind.  How- 
ever; the  Lord  made  up  the  want  of  Ciii  istian  fellowship, 
by  sending  me  such  books,  from  time  to  time,  as  surpri- 
singly suited  my  case,  particuiary  Allein's  .\.larm,  wnicb 
proved  of  wonderful  service  to  me.  Among  his  direc- 
tions for  conversion,  he  advises  the  reader  to  enter  into 
covenant  with  God;  a  form  of  which  he  has  there  given. 
I  took  the  advice,  set  apart  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer, 
wrote  the  covenant  and  signed  it,  and  in  was  not  longbe- 
foie  the  Lord  sliewed  me  he  did  not  despise  the  day  of 
small  tilings. 

There  was  a  society  of  Methodists  in  the  town,  but  I 
knew  them  not;  and  when  I  did  they  were  such  objects 
of  universal  contempt,  that  I  hardly'knew  what  to  make 
of  them;  however,  the  last  night  of  this  year,  1  veritured 
to  go,  and  heard  Mr.  Oddie.  I  likewise  began  the  year 
1756  with  them,  and  from  that  time  never  missed  an  op- 
portunity of  hearing,  morning  and  evening. 

I  think  it  was  in  April  this  year,  that  the  Lord  justifi- 
ed me  by  his  grace,  i  used  to  spend  all  my  tiioe  in  bed, 
while  awake,  in  weeping  and  prayers,  and  it  was  in  one 
of  these  weeping  nights,  that  in  an  instant  the  Lord 
brought  me  out  of  darkness  into  his  nuarveiious  light.    I 


S264  EXPERIENCE    OF 

did  not  know  then  what  to  call  it;  but  its  effects  were  ma- 
ny.  I  ftmrid  a;i  uncommon  concern  for  the  souls  of  the 
soldiers,  and  the  sight  of  a  Methodist  used  to  set  nij 
heart  on  fire  with  l.ve.  Yet  for  half  a  year,  not  a  soul 
of  them  spoke  a  word  to  me,  though  1  sometimes  threvr 
oiyself  in  their  way.  Fur,  much  did  I^long  to  be  ac- 
quainted with  them, but  my  shyness  was  such, that  1  could 
Dot  break  through  to  speak  to  them. 

Mr  John  Wesley,  and  Mr.  Thumas  Walsh,  made  us  a 
visit  this  summer;  and  O,  what  a  heaven  upon  earth  did 
1  ieel  in  hearing  them  I  and  yet  1  could  not  speak  to  theni 
for  my  life.  At  length,  that  serious  man,  Mr.  Thomas 
Seccynibe,  took,  notice  of  me,  and  when  he  was  about  to 
lieave  Lime'ick,  desired  8idnt-y  lioey,  (a  mother  in  Is- 
rael she  wa^  to  me  and  many  of  the  soldiers)  to  get  ac- 
quainted with  me.  She  brought  me  to  hei- house,  and  the 
same  day  to  a  class-meeting,  which  was  a  day  of  glad- 
ness to  me;  for  I  had  often  found  Solomon's  words  ful- 
filieti, — '-Woe  to  him  that  is  alone  when  he  falleth  "  For 
when  I  fell  into  perplexities  and  tewiptations,  I  had  no 
one  to  help  me;  but  now  1  found  the  real  benefit  of  hav- 
ing fellowship  with  a  loving  people. 

Fart  of  1757  and  '58.  I  spent  at  Dublin,  and  found 
their  feilow.ship  there  also  of  very  great  service.  I'he 
pieachers  were  lively,  and  faithful  lovers  of  discipline, 
'i'he  society  retained  much  of  their  simplicity  and  teach- 
ableness, and  were  in  a  good  degree  prepared  for  the 
blessed  revival  which  followed  some  time  after,  under 
Mr.  John  Manners. 

It  was  of  uncommon  advantage  to  me  to  be  among  the 
Methodists,  at  a  tiine,  when  txth  the  preacher  and  peo- 
ple loved  all  our  discipline,  and  practised  it.  I  saw  the 
blessed  consequences;  for  few  cared  lo-'stay  among  us, 
but  such  as  retained  their  fervour  for  tlife  whole  of  reli- 
gion. False  brethi en,  especially,  were  soon  tiied,  and 
went  to  the  Indepeiideuts,  Anapabtists,  or  Moravians, 
But  with  grertt  simplicity  we  used  to  crowd  to  the  Sa- 
crament, at  St.  Patrick's,  in  Dublin,  or  the  Cathedral  at 
Limei  icK,  |C7°  Kvery  Sabbath.  These  were  happy  times 
to  me;  for  altiiaugh  i  was  b'  ed  a  Presbyterian,  (if  I  was 
bred  any  thing)  yet  the  love  of  God  threw  down  the 
wails  of  partition,  and  made  me  love  to  be  there,  where 
I  found  most  of  the  people  of  God.     1  soon  saw  our 


MK.    BUNOAN    WRIGHl.  265 

plan  to  be  more  noble  than  any  poor  narrow  dissenting 
scheme  whatever,  as  intending  the  good  of  thousands  and 
tens  of  tlu)usand>,  iu  the  great  b'dies  of  the  established 
churcho;  and  1  am  still  convinced,  that  our  present  sit- 
uation  is  infinitely  better  calculated   fur  general  good 
than  the  best  jilanned  separation  that  can  be  conceived. 
What  occasioned  my   commencing  a  preacher,  was  as 
follows.     In  September,  1758,  we  returned  to  Limerick; 
and  as  goverment  resolved  to  shoot  a  deserter  in  every 
city,  in  terrorem,  the  hit  fell  on  a  young  man  in  our  re- 
giment to  die  in  Limerick. — His  name  was  Joseph  New- 
ton; he  was  a  Derbyshire  man,  twenty-tw<»  years  of  age. 
I  longed  to  talk  with  him;  but  as  he  v\as  kept  in  a  public 
guard -house,  with  no   place  of  retirement,  I  could  not 
tell  how  to  <peak  to  or  pray  with  him,  among  so  many 
people.     But  when  I  found  the  adjutant  had  been  to  in- 
form him  that  he  must  die  on  M'Uiday,  (this  was  on  the 
Tuesday  before)  1  saw  1  had  no  time  to  lose.     1  went  in, 
and  f'lund  him  weeping,  as  if  his  heart  would  break,  and 
reading  the  Whole  Duty  of  Man  with  all  his  might:  like 
a  drowning  man  catching  at  any  thing  to  save  him.     I 
spoke  a  few  words  to  him  then,  and  again  in  the  evening, 
though   with  uncommon   reluctance,  there  being   many 
soldiers  round  us.     I  prayed  with  him,  and  found  very 
great  freedom  to  speak  to  him  and  to  all  that  were  pre- 
sent.    He  had  no  I'lea,  but  saw  himself  an  undone  sin- 
ner without  help,  and  almost  without  hope.     Some  »if  us 
visited  him  twice  or  thrice  a  day,  and  on  Thursday  his 
soul  was  set  at  liberty.     From  that  time  he  witnessed  a 
good  confession  to  all  that  spoke  to  him.    Every  one  that 
saw  him  go  ihe  place  where   he  was  shot,  could  not  but 
admire  the  serene  joy  that  appeared  in  his  countenance. 
H<^  said  but  little,  but  his  calm,  happy  death  made  a  deep 
impiession  on  many  of  oui  soldiers;  for  they  could  not 
but  discern  the  difference  between  him  and  one  they  saw 
die  awhile  before  at  Dublin,  whosheued  the  greatest  re- 
luctance, the  field  officer  of  the  day  being  obliged  to  ride 
up  to  him  seveial  times  to  tell  him  he  must  die:  while 
Joseph  Newton  was  not  above  ten  minutes  on  hii  knees 
before  he  dropt  the  signal,  and  went  to  Paradise. 

1  thought,  now  was  the  time  to  try  what  could  be  done 
among  the  soldieis.     I  tlierefore  told  several,  that  as  ma- 
ny as  had  a  misid,  might  coijie  to  my  room  every  night 
33 


966  BXPERIF.NCE    OF 

after  roll  calling,  and  I  would  sing,  read,  and  praj  witU 
them  as  well  an  I  could.  Thej  came  and  crowded  inj 
rodrn,  and  in  a  little  while  I  had  a  claims  of  them.  But 
abi'Ut  the  beginning  of  the  year  1759,  I  was  ordered  for 
Scotland  on  the  recruiting  service.  I  found  this  not  to 
be  eatsv  work  for  a  Christian,  yet,  through  mercy,  1  was 
kept  from  outward  sin. 

After  an  ab-ence  of  four  months,  the  French  being  ex- 
pected to  invade  Ireland,  we  were  ordered  to  join  the 
regiment,  which  lay  encamped  near  Kilkenny,  and  found 
my  little  flock,  having  had  no  one  to  look  after  them, 
mrere  all  scattered.  The  first  ntorniiig  we  met  (in  a  field 
adjoining)  there  were  but  three  of  us.  But  our  number  in- 
creased every  time  we  met;  and  before  our  camp  broke 
op,  I  had  a  little  society  gathered  again.  And  here  it 
vas  that  I  got  the  name  of  a  preacher:  fir  it  being  fre- 
quently late  in  the  evening  before  we  could  meet,  be- 
fore I  had  Hung  and  prayed,  our  light  was  gone  out,  so 
that  I  could  not  see  to  read,  but  was  obliged  t<>  say  some- 
thing to  them,  without  a  book,  or  send  them  away  empty. 

It  was  well  1  did  not  begin  to  preach  among  very  know- 
ing men,  fi>r  they  might  soon  have  silenced  me,  as  a  little 
thing  would  have  done  it:  but  here  there  was  none  to  hin- 
der me  but  the  commanding  officer,  and  he  did  not  choo!>e 
to  do  it.  Though  he  did  not  like  the  Methodists,  yet  he 
wanted  us  all  to  be  very  good,  as  we  did  not  know  how 
•oon  our  valour  might  be  tried  by  the  French.  There- 
fore we  had  very  strict  orders  against  swearing,  drun- 
kenness, &c.  but  those  orders  did  not  effect  any  great  re- 
formation. 

When  we  left  the  camp,  as  we  still  expected  an  inva- 
•ion,  we  were  scattered  abroad  in  cantonments  ail  over 
the  south  of  Ireland.  This  hurt  such  of  us  as  were 
weak  in  the  faith,  very  much.  None  can  tell,  but  such 
as  have  tried,  how  hard  it  is  fur  a  soldier  to  stand  his 
ground  among  so  many  unreasonable,  a?  well  as  ungodly 
men;  for  such  were  most  of  the  officers  as  well  as  soldiers: 
men  whose  tender  mercies  were  cruel. 

I  had  myself  suffered  much  loss  in  my  mind  for  a  year^ 
and  consequently  had  little  inclination  for  preaching. 
Hence  when  we  got  the  route  for  tialway.  1  was  not  at 
all  sorry  that  there  was  no  society  lo  solicit  me  to  preach 
among  them.    £veQ  my  friends  aiuuiig  the  officers  were 


MR.    DUKOAH  WRIGHT.  S67 

much  concerned  for  me,  as  many  sergeants  were  prefer- 
red to  commissions,  they  said  they  doubted  they  could 
do  nothing  for  me,  a-  1  made  myself  so  ridiculous.  In- 
deed this  did  not  move  me.  But  my  unhappiness  of 
mind  was  the  great  hindiance  to  ray  preaching.  Yet  ia 
Gal  way  it  was  that  1  had  the  most  clear  and  undoubted 
seals  to  my  mission,  in  the  conviction  and  conversion  of 
souls  who'never  had  heard  any  other  Methodist  preacher. 
Some  of  them  are  a  comfort  to  me  to  this  day;  and  some 
are  fallen  asleep  in  Jesus. 

In  1761,  we  marched  for  Dublin  again,  and  the  follow- 
ing year  back  to  Galway.  All  this  time,  from  1758  to 
1763,  I  walked  in  darkness,  and  had  no  light.  I  fell  into 
it  by  degrees:  but  by  what  particular  thing,  I  am  at  a  loss 
to  know.  But  this  1  know,  my  case  was  truly  deplora- 
ble; and  yet  1  did  not  give  way  to  any  known  sin;  neither 
did  I  miss  any  means  of  grace.  Nay  I  often  went  to  the 
Lord's  table,  when,  to  all  sense  and  feeling,  1  was  as  dead 
as  a  stone.  My  gracious  tears  were  all  dried  up.  My 
stuny  heart  could  not  melt.  And  yet  1  heard  the  great- 
est preachers,  read  the  best  books  I  knew,  and  conversed 
or  corresponded  with  the  most  gracious  Christians  1  could 
hear  of.  Nay,  1  frequently  exhorted  or  preached  the 
whole  time;  yea,  and  in  that  season  had  apparent  suc- 
cess to  my  labours.  1  remark  this,  to  refute  an  idle  con- 
ceit, that  none  are  fit  to  teach  others,  but  such  as  are  hap- 
py themselves.  1  know,  that  many  times,  though  I  for- 
gi)t  it  while  preaching.  I  was  as  miserable  as  a  devil, 
both  before  and  after.  And  it  was  often  suggested  to  me, 
"Judas  may  cast  out  devils,  and  notwithstanding  all  this, 
be  only  an  outcast."  I  often  saw  myself  like  one  enclo- 
sed ail  around  with  hewn  stone,  my  strength  and  my 
hope  perished  from  the  Lord.  As  I  knew  very  little  of 
myself  when  the  Lord  justified  me,  he  saw  good  to  shew 
me  now  my  utter  helplessness,  by  leading  me  into  the 
painful  school  of  self  knowledge.  And  a  dull  scholar  I 
proved,  being  five  years  in  learning  what  others  have 
learned  in  less  than  five  months. 

Yet  notwithstanding  my  wretchedness,  our  little  soci- 
ety at  Galway  was  wonderfully  blest.  As  there  was 
about  this  time  a  glorious  revival  in  many  parts  of  the 
three  kingdoms,  I  communicated  to  them,  from  time  to 
time,  the  intelligence  I  received  of  the  work,  and  the 


S68  EXPEniEMCE    OF 

fire  soon  kindled  among  them  also.  All  were  happy,  oi 
in  earnest  but  me,  aiui  I  durst  tell  very  few  mv  sad  case, 
for  fear  of  hurting  them.  This  was  often  the  language 
of  my  heart, 

"My  soul  in  sin  so  rooted  stands, 

"No  common  miracle  can  move, 
"I  know  my  Spirit's  cure  demands 

Thy  whole  Omnipotence  of  love. 

"But  whether  thou  hast  ever  heai'd 

"A  Spirit  so  desperate  as  mine, 
"It  lies,  alas,  from  me  conceal'd, 

"In  lowest  depths  of  love  divine." 

If  it  be  asked,  what  could  induce  me  to  continue  in  the 
means  of  grace?  I  answer,  I  never  doubted  my  former 
experience  of  the  truth  and  reality  of  religion;  and  (be- 
sides an  unseen  hand  that  upheld  me)  !  retained  a  full 
conviction,  that  in  the  favour  of  God  alone  there  was  life 
and  happiness.  So  I  was  determined  to  be  happy  in  the 
favour  of  God,  or  refuse  every  other  comfort. 

It  was  when  I  was  thus  in  darkness,  and  in  the  deep, 
that  the  Lord,  in  a  moment,  restored  to  me  the  joy  of 
his  salvation.  This  was  like  a  plenteous  shower,  upon  a 
parched  and  dry  land,  that  soon  made  my  soul  like  a  wa- 
tered garden.  The  Lord  now  led  me  into  green  pas- 
tures, beside  the  still  waters." — What  a  change  was  this! 
The  soul  that  was  before,  all  tumult  and  confusion,  was 
now  all  joy  and  peace  through  believing.  This  was  about 
June,  1763. 

And  yet  I  so5n  found  1  had  not  attained  what  J.  Dillon 
and  S.  Hoey.  informed  me  they  had  attained,  viz.  "A 
mind  constantly  staid  upon  God,  and  kept  in  perfect 
peace." 

Being  about  this  time  confined  to  my  room,  by  a  vio- 
lent inflammation  in  my  cheek,  my  pain  made  me  pray 
the  more  earnestly,  that  the  peace  of  God  might  keep  my 
heart  and  mind  also.  The  Lord  heard,  and  gave  me  a 
glorious  answer.  I  felt  such  a  sudden,  and  such  a  change, 
as  I  never  before  conceived  possible.  M}  joy  was  indeed, 
unspeakable;  my  hope  full  of  immortality;  and,  my  peace 
flowed  like  a  river.  I  then  understo  »d  those  words  as  1 
never  did  before,  We  all,  with  open  face,  beholding  as  in 


MR.    DUNCAN    WRIGHT. 


269 


a  glass  the  glory  of  the  Lord,  are  changed  into  the  same 
image,  from  glory  to  glory,  even  as  by  the  spirit  ot  the 
Lord. 

Just  then  we  were  ordered  to  the  north  of  Ireland,  to 
quell  a  set  <»f  rioters,  called  Hearts  ofOak.  Being  some- 
thing better,  1  marched  on  till  we  came  to  Carrick  on 
Shannon,  when  our  surgeon  told  me  I  must  go  no  farther, 
at  the  peril  of  my  life.  My  excessive  pain,  and  the  be- 
ing left  behind,  would  at  some  other  time,  have  tried  me 
sufficiently:  but  now, 

"All  was  calm,  and  joy,  and  peace  " 

And  here  it  was  that  I  fiist  understood,  how  the  bless- 
ed martyrs  could  clap  their  hands  in  the  flames;  for  al- 
though for  some  nights  my  pain  was  excruciating,  yet  all 
was  tranquility  within. 

The  little  society  here,  and  the  M'Neily's  family  in 
particular,  took  remarkable  care  of  me.  The  Lord  grant 
they  may  find  mercy  of  him  in  that  day.  This  state 
continued  several  m  *nths;but  having  none  to  direct  me, 
and  not  being  sufficiently  aware  of  the  need  there  was  for 
constant  watchfulness  and  prayer,  1  fell,  by  degrees,  from 
that  heaven  of  love. 

In  the  beginning  of  1764,1  was  called  to  suffer  a  little 
for  the  testimony  of  Jesus.  And,  indeed,  but  a  little;  for 
what  were  a  few  tlireatenings,  a  little  reproach  and 
shame,  a  few  stones,  or  rotten  eggs,  to  what  many  of  the 
dear  servants  of  God  have  suffered,  even  in  this  age? 

Our  lieutenant-c>donel  did  not  care  what  a  soldier's 
religion  was,  provided  he  did  his  duty;  but  our  major,  a 
warm  blunderer,  to  whom  the  command  of  the  regiment 
was  left  for  a  time,  thought  it  a  disgrace  to  have  a  ser- 
geant a  preacher  among  them.  He  therefore  residved 
to  drive  me  out  of  preaching  if  possible.  I  shall  not  en- 
ter upon  a  detail  of  tlie  several  means  he  u«ed  for  this 
purpose,  as  I  believe  he  was  ashamed  of  them  himself 
before  I  left  him.  He  found  me  so  much  the  soldier, 
however,  as  not  to  be  frightened  out  of  what  1  thought 
Wds  my  duty.  Yet  I  found  it  no  easy  matter  to  walk 
the  streets  of  Newry,  a  gazing  stock  to  both  old  and 
young.  At  last,  as  he  found  he  could  not  prevent  my 
preaching,  he  hit  upon  a  method  to  get  quit  of  me:  name- 
ly, to  put  me  into  the  tenth  company,  which  was  soon  to 
be  reduced.  And  thus  it  was  that  the  Lord  Jjhrust  me 
23  *  '    '  ' 


270  EXPERIENCE    OF 

out  into  the  harvest;  for  I  was  determinetl  not  fo  leave 
the  army,  till  some  clear  |)rovi<lei)ce  set  me  free.  Before 
the  time  came  for  the  reduction  of  the  company,  some 
of  the  friendly  ofiiceis  wanted  me  to  stay,  and  said  thej 
would  get  the  major  to  put  some  old  sergeant  in  my 
place.  I  bcsgeO  they  would  not,  and  they  acquiesced. 
S  -me  of  them,  indeed,  wislied  I  could  persuade  all  their 
men  to  be  relio;ious,  for  they  had  no  trouble  with  the 
Methodi-t  soldiers,  but  enough  with  the  others.  Yet  they 
told  me.  they  feared  what  our  enthusiasm  would  turn  to: 
and  mentioned  Cromwell,  who  could  preach  and  pray 
one  part  of  the  day,  and  kill  and  plunder  the  other. 

Never  were  words  more  applicable  to  these  fearful 
men  than  the  following: 

"The  same  in  your  esteem, 

"Falsehood  and  truth  ye  join; 
"The  wild  pretender's  dream, 

"And  real  work  divine: 
"Between  the  substance  and  the  show, 

"No  difference  you  can  find; 
"For  colours  all,  full  well  we  know, 

"Are  equal  to  the  blind." 

Were  the  chaplains  men  of  real  piety  and  courage, 
much  good  might  be  done  in  the  army;  but  the  ch.iplain- 
cy  is  {jeneially  a  kind  of  sinecure,  and  the  care  of  souls 
is  left  to  any  worthless  wretch,  that  will  do  it  at  an  ea^y 
rate.  When  we  lay  in  one  city,  the  care  of  four  or  five 
regiments  was  left  to  an  unhappy  tnan,  who  was  an  ob- 
ject of  comm(jn  ridicule  among  the  soldiers,  for  his  per- 
petual drunkenness. 

But  although  my  commanding  officer  could  not  hinder 
me  from  preaching,  and  God  gave  me  to  see  the  fruit  of 
my  labours,  yet  I  was  not  thoroughly  satisfied  in  my 
own  mind  that  it  was  my  duty  to  preach;  but  this  spring, 
at  Waterford,  God  revived  his  work  wonderfully  among 
that  society,  and  set  my  mind  free  from  every  scruple; 
so  that  when  Mr.  Wesley  wrote  me  word,  that  if  1  left 
the  army,  he  had  immediate  work  for  me;  I  had  no  objec- 
tion but  the  precarious  state  ot  my  health:  for  by  preach- 
ing loud,  and  long,  a  id  by  reading  at  all  hours,  I  had 
brought  myself  so  low,  that  our  surgeon  sometimes 
thought  me  in  a  consumptiim.  Mr.  VVesley  told  me  in 
answer  to  my  objection^  "that  our  Master  had  ail  power 


MR.    DUNCAN    WniGHT.  271 

ill  heaven,  and  in  earth,  and  that  as  my  day,  so  should  my 
strength  be."  And  in  the  latter  end  of  1764,  I  found 
myself  at  liberty  to  go  where  providence  directed. 

I  was  how  entering  upon  a  new  scene  of  life,  and 
though  I  was  twenty  eight  years  of  age,  I  was  an  utter 
stranger  to  mankind:  hence  I  imagined  that  blunt  honesty, 
with  innocency,  would  bear  me  through  any  thing;  but  I 
have  since  learned,  that  we  need  the  wisdom  of  the  ser- 
pent, as  well  as  the  innocence  of  the  dove,  in  our  deal- 
ings with  men.  even  aboat  their  souls.  I  mention  this 
as  an  apology  for  some  parts  of  my  conduct,  which  had 
not  always  a  due  mixture  of  calm  wisdom;  my  native 
impetuosity  often  hurrying  me  beyond  the  byunds  of  mo- 
deration; a  thing  too  common  with  well-meaning,  zealous 
young  men. 

I  would  observe  farther,  that  I  was  kept  in  such  watch- 
fulness and  tenderness  of  conscience;  nine  years  after, 
I  knew  something  of  religion  among  the  soldiery,  as  to 
my  grief  and  shame  1  have  not  always  retained  since 
that  period.  I  was  then  continually  among  the  open  en- 
emies of  religion,  which  partly  obliged  me  to  vigilance, 
but  being  since  then  chiefly  amon^  the  professed  friends 
oi"  religion,  how  often  have  I  been  olf  my  watch!  O 
where  are  we  safe,  beyond  the  power  of  sinning,  but  in 
paadise! 

When  I  came  to  Dublin,  our  society  and  preachers  re- 
ceived me  in  the  kindest  manner, and  a  c-imfortable  time 
I  spent  with  them  that  winter. 

One  of  our  captains,  without  my  knowledge,  now  re- 
commended me  to  a  late  nobleman,  who,  he  told  me,  had 
an  easy  place  for  me,  and  desired  my  answer  in  two  or 
three  days.  I  thanked  him,  and  told  him  1  had  chosen 
another  empl'tyment. 

Hece  I  was  acquainted  with  Dr.  Davis,  whose  case  is 
worth  relating.  He  was  formerly  lemaikabie  for  a  pe- 
culiar lively  turn  of  wit  on  all  occasions,  and  happy  was 
the  company  that  could  get  him  to  spend  the  evenin'^ 
with  them.  But  being  persuaded  by  a  friend  to  hear 
John  Carr,  one  of  our  local  pieachers;  his  companions, 
alas,  lo^t  their  merr^  andiew.  He  told  me  that  he  uent 
to  see  the  preacher,  merely  to  take  him  olf,  as  he  express- 
ed it:  "but,"  said  he,  "while  I  uas  leaning  on  ray  cane, 
looking  at  him  througti  my  fingers,  during  his  fir&t  pray- 


272  EXPKUIENCE    OF 

er,  an  arrow  went  to  my  heart,  wliicirsent  me  home 
bruised  and  wounded."  lie  tlien  soiiji^ht  the  true  physi- 
cian, who  hoon  brought  him  to  a  healthful  mind. 

The  regiment  of  dragoons,  of  whicii  he  was  surgeon, 
marched  into  D^iblin  while  I  was  there.  One  day,  being 
at  the  holdier's  intirmary,  a  serious  man,  the  porter  of 
the  house,  one  Fianeis  May,  said  to  him,  "Sir,  we  want 
prayer,  and  a  woid  of  exhortation  very  much  in  this 
house:  would  you  pray  with  two  or  three,  Sii,  if  I  get 
them  together?"  "Really  Frank,"  said  the  doctor,  "I 
ne\er  prayed  in  my  life,  but  with  tv\Q  or  three  serious 
people,  and  I  know  not  how  to  begin  with  any  other." 
"Sir,"  said  Frank,  "it  is  high  time  you  should  begin:  be- 
gin to-day,  Sir,  btgin  now  I"  The  doctor  was  prevailed 
on.  Away  went  F<  ank,  and  informed  them  through  all 
the  house,  that  Dr.  Davis  was  going  to  preach  to  them. 
Down  came  every  soul  that  could  crawl;  the  sick,  the 
the  lame,  and  the  lazy,  to  the  long  room,  where  the  chap- 
lains used  to  read  prayers.  Away  came  Frank  to  the 
doctor.  "Now,  Sir,"  sai<l  he,  'T  have  got  a  few  of  them." 
"When  the  doctor  came  to  the  room  doo;,  and  saw  the 
place  full,  he  was  fur  going  back.  "Nay,  Sir,"  said  Frank, 
"You  cannot  go  back  for  your  life!  There  they  are,  the 
L(»rd  has  delivered  them  into  your  hands,  and  will  you 
start  from  his  work?"  In  short,  tl)e  doctor  went  in,  stood 
on  a  form,  sung  and  prayed;  and  having  his  pocket  bible 
with  him.  he  read  a  pottion  to  thenj,  discoursed  an  hour 
and  a  half,  and  from  that  time  preached  to  the  soldiers 
wherever  he  could.  As  I  knew  his  dangerous  situation, 
1  was  a  little  afi  aid  for  him.  But  God  took  care  of  him; 
for  going  to  visit  some  prisoners  m  Newgate,  who  had  a 
malignant  fever,  he  caught  the  infection,  and  finished  his 
course,  rejoicing  in  God  his  Saviour. 

We  had  several  remarkable  conversions  while  1  was  in 
Ireland.  One  or  two  more  may  be  mentioned.  We  often 
think  it  lost  labour,  to  talk  to  a  man  aboot  his  soul  while 
drunk;  but  1  know  to  the  contrary.  I  knew  one  in  the 
North  of  Ireland,  who,  going  home  one  sumniei  evening, 
much  in  liquor,  saw  a  crowd  of  people  on  a  green  at  some 
distance,  and  imagining  it  to  he  a  cock-fight,  he  would  see 
it  before  he  went  home.  The  prpachei  being  in  the  ap- 
plication of  his  discourse,  said,  "Are  there  any  diurik- 
ards  here?"  &c.     The  pour  fellow  looking  up,  said  "Yes, 


MR.    DVNOAX    WniGHT.  273 

i  am  one."  At  that  instant  he  was  seized  with  such  con- 
cern for  his  soul,  as  never  left  him  till  he  became  a  new 
man. 

J  add  another  remarkable  case.  We  had  a  little  soci- 
ety in  tlie  county  of  Wexford,  who  used  to  be  much  pes- 
tered with  a  Popish  m  >b.  They  met  in  a  long  barn,  wi'h 
the  door  near  one  end.  The  rabble  wanted  to  know  what 
they  did  at  their  private  njeetings;  but*as  the  barn  be- 
longed to  one  that  was  nu  Methodis-t,  they  durst  not 
break  open  the  door.  At  length  they  contrived  that  one 
of  them  should  get  into  the  barn  before  the  people  came, 
and  let  his  companions  in  at  a  proper  time.  To  con- 
ceal himself  the  better,  he  got  into  a  sack,  and  lay 
down  behind  the  door.  When  the  Society  were  all  in, 
they  fastened  the  door  as  usual.  Soon  after  came  tlie 
mob,  hollowing  and  shouting  to  their  friend  to  let  them 
in;  but  Gud  found  other  work  for  him;  for  being  ciiarm- 
ed  «iihthe  first  hymn,  he  thought  it  a  thousand  pities 
(as  he  afterwards  said)  to  disturb  them  while  singing  it. 
And  when  the  prayer  began,  the  power  of  God  did  so 
confound  him,  that  he  roared  out  with  nsight  and  main. 
And  not  having  power  to  get  out'of  the  sack,  lay  bawl- 
ing and  screaming.  At  last  one  ventured  to  see  what  was 
the  matter,  and  helping  him  out,  brought  him  up  confess- 
ing his  sins  and  crying  for  mercy;  which  was  the  begin- 
ning of  a  lasting  work  in  his  soul. 

In  the  spring,  there  being  no  preacher  in  the  Waterford 
circuit,  I  went  thither,  and  spent  some  time  very  agree- 
ably among  my  former  acquaintances. — And  now  it  was 
that  I  saw  what  spirit  many  of  the  Irish  papists  were  of. 
While  I  carried  a  sword  by  my  side,  few  of  them  cared 
to  speak  their  minds;  but  now,  that  restraint  being  re- 
moved, several  of  them  told  me  to  my  face,  that  they 
thought  it  would  be  doing  both  Gud  and  the  church  ser- 
vice, to  burn  all  such  as  me  in  one  fire!  The  infatu- 
ation of  many  of  them,  owing  to  the  ignorance  they 
are  kept  in,  cannot  be  described;  for,  upon  the  least 
pretence,  and  often  witliout  any,  they  rise  in  large 
parties,  well  armed,  to  destroy  the  lives  and  property 
of  their  neighbors,  oppose  the  magistracy,  and  even 
insult  the  army. 

About  this  time,  a  party  of  the  light  horse,  being  on 
foot,  were  conveying  one  of  the  Whiteboys  to  Kilken- 


274  SXPERIENCE    OP 

Dj  jail.  In  going  thiough  a  village,  the  Papists  croi- 
6P(1  the  way  with  a  muck  funeral.  When  thev  had  got 
tlie  sdldiers  in  the  miil.st.  they  threw  down  their  cof- 
fin full  of  st  ines,  and  fell  on,  old  and  your)g.  with 
the  greatest  fury.  The  soldiers  defended  themselves, 
till  the  sergeant  and  three  or  four  more  were  killed, 
and  several  desperately  wounded.  For  this,  five  of 
them  were  hanged  at  Kilkenny  —  I'hey  all  died  "inno- 
cent (fhey  said)  as  the  child  unborni"  So  did  five 
more,  wh(»  were  executed  a  little  while  before,  for  burn- 
ing a  mill,  and  burying  the  miller  up  to  the  neck.  I 
could  not  understand  at  first,  how  mo->t  of  the  Papists 
that  die  here,  by  the  hands  of  the  executioner,  die 
declaring  their  innocency,  till  I  found  out  the  secret: 
havit)w  c(»nfes>ed  all  their  crimes  to  the  priest,  and 
received  hi>  absolution,  they  believed  themselves  guilt- 
less, and  ueie  forbidden  to  make  confession  to  the  he- 
retics. However,  we  had  the  comfort  to  see  several 
of  ihem  to  the  experience  of  real  Chri-tianity.  And 
there  is  no  doubt  but  if  there  were  a  few  preachers 
of  Mr.  Walsh's  spirit,  we  should  see  many  more. 

Mr.-  W^esley  having  signified  to  me.  some  time  be- 
fore, that  I  migiit  travel  with  him  if  1  had  a  mind,  I 
gladly  embraced  the  opportunity,  and  met  him  at  Lim- 
erick, in  June,  1765.  This  and  the  next  year.  I  had 
an  opportunity  of  seeing  mu?t  of  our  large  societies  in 
the  three  kingdoms;  and  had  my  health,  capacity,  and 
industry  kept  pace  with  my  opportunities,  it  might 
have  been  a  time  of  extraordinary  improvement.  Be- 
sides all  oiher  advantages,  1  had  constantly  before  me 
such  an  example  of  redeeming  time,  as  I  hope  will  be 
of  service  to  me  while  I  live.  But,  however,  profita- 
ble my  travelling  with  Mr.  Wesley  might  be,  as  the 
exercise  was  too  much,  I  was   obliged  to  give  it  up. 

It  was  also  of  service  to  me  to  spend  some  time  in 
London,  among  some  of  our  old,  happy  Methodists;  who 
bore  with  my  weakness,  and  by  their  prayers  and  exam- 
ple, confirmed  me  more  and  more  in  the  truth  as  it  is  in 
Jesus. 

W  hat  the  Lord  has  been  doing  by  me  in  Kent,  Essex, 
Norwich,  Manchester,  Macclesfield,  in  the  Yarm  and 
Thirsk  circuits,  and  in  Scotland,  is  known  to  him.  I 
bless  God  that  1  have  seen  the  work  prosper  and  increase 


MR.    DVNOAK    WRIGHT.  'ifS 

in  most  of  the  circuits  I  have  been  in,  not  indeed  in  con- 
sequence of  my  preaching,  so  much  as  by  some  regard  to 
our  di'icipline,  and  the  latxiur  of  ray  colleagues.  I  have 
been  happy,  in  having  those  in  genei  al  with  me  who  were 
not  drones  but  hearty  in  the  work  of  God.  A  id  their 
love  to  discipline  has  not  been  labour  in  vain;  to  God 
alone  be  all  the  glory! 

Before  I  conclude,  I  must  not  forget  lo  mention  one 
circmiistance  in  order  to  encourage  others,  and  to  justi^ 
fy  the  (ibiervati;)n,  ''That  we  hardly  know,  what  we  are 
capable  of,  till  we  are  put  to  the  trial  " 

When  1  was  in  Scotland,  I  remarked  that  many  of  the 
clergy  were  men  of  sense  and  piety,  and  took  real  pains 
in  their  work.  And  yet  there  was  in  many  places,  a 
want  of  care  and  zeal  for  the  spiritual  welfa  e  of  the  poor 
Higlilanders.  Many  of  the-^e  coming  for  employment  to 
the  larger  towns,  were  destitute  of  all  help  for  their  souls: 
as  they  did  not  understand  English.  In  Kdinburgh  and 
Glasgow  there  have  been  places  of  worship  b  alt  for  them, 
■within  these  few  years,  and  well  supplied;  but  in  Aber- 
deen, Perth,  and  Greenock,  still  they  had  none  to  help. 
When  Mr.  M'Nab  went  to  Scotland,  in  I7ti9,  he  began  to 
pieach  to  them  as  well  as  he  could,  and  wanted  me  to 
come  to  his  help.  Mr.  Wesley  accordingly  appointed  me 
for  Scotland  at  the  ensuing  conference,  and  desired  me 
to  try  to  recover  my  Erse:  but  of  this  1  had  no  hope;  as  I 
could  not  read  a  verse  of  it,  and  never  spoke  two  min- 
utes in  it  on  religious  subjects  in  my  life. 

However,  when  I  came  to  Perth,  and  saw  their  for- 
lorn condition,  i»everal  motives  induced  me  to  make  a 
trial,  i  theref  ire  bought  a  New-Testament  in  the  mo- 
dern Galic,  and  got  one  of  the  society  who  could  read  it, 
to  give  me  some  instructions.  By  Christmas  I  had  made 
such  a  progress,  that  my  teacher  was  positive  I  could 
preach  in  it,  and  would  needs  invite  the  Highlanders  to 
come  and  hear  me.  But  I  knew  my  deficiency  better 
than  he  did;  however,  I  was  prevailed  upon  to  let  him 
invite  them.  He  gave  out  the  Psalm  and  sung  it  for  me. 
When  I  began  to  pray  in  Erse,  1  should  have  been  set 
fast,  had  I  not  learned  the  Lora's  prayer  before  hand. 
When  [  began  to  speak,  I  was  often  obliged  to  break  olT, 
and  address  the  people  in  English.  But  by  the  grace  of 
God,  in  less  than  four  years,  1  could  officiate  in  that  lan- 
guiige  two  houri   together,  without  a  word  of  English. 


QTQ  EXPEHIENOE    OF 

While  we  were  thus  employed,  the  ministers  in  Perth, 
and  in  seveial  <-ther  placed,  wi^^hed  us  gcud  luck  in  the 
name  of  the  Lord. 

Thi-  was  by  far  the  most  delightful  work  I  ever  had. 
But  it  was  often  hard  enough,  :ts  I  commonlv  preached  at 
Gteenock,  in  Kngli«h,  atsevei.  in  the  niorninj;:  then  spent 
two  h(»urs,  fiom  ten  to  twelve,  with  the  Hjg,handei8: 
walked  to  Pen  t-Glasgow,  and  preached  in  the  streets  at 
foui;  then  walked  back  In  Gieenock,  and  preached  at  six 
o'clock,  and  then  met  the  society.  Although  by  this 
means  I  had  many  an  achinj;  head,  and  pained  breast, 
yet  it  was  delightful  to  see  hui.dreds  attending  to  my 
blundering  preaching,  with  stieaming  eye,  and  attention 
still  us  night:  or  to  heai  them,  in  their  simple  vva^,  sing- 
ing the  praise-,  of  God  in  their  own  tongue.  If  evei  God 
said  to  my  heait,  "Go,  and  I  will  be  with  thee,"  it  was 
then,  when  with  much  trembling,  and  deep  sighs.  I  have 
gone  to  preach  toJliem,  hardly  knowing  what  to  say.  I 
extol  the  name  ofmy  adorable  Master,  that  my  labours 
were  not  in  vain.  How  gladly  wnuWl  I  have,  spent  my 
life  with  these  dear  s  >uls!  But  my  health  would  not  per- 
mit it;  so  1  was  i.bliged  to  leave  them. 

To  conclude:  Mow  graciously  did  my  heavenly  Father 
strive  with  me  by  his  spirit,  even  from  my  infant  days! 
and  when  I  wa."-  an  outcas-t,  and  lost  as  to  any  thing  in 
relig(»n,  he  reclaimed  the  wandeier,  and  brought  me  to 
his  FoUl;  then  led  me  into  tlie  vvildetne^s  to  shew  me  my 
heart!  Healed  my  backslidings,  ctMoforted  and  fortified 
me  for  suffeiings;  and  knowing  my  feebleness,  led  me 
giadually  on  to  preach  to  those  who  most  needed  my  as- 
sistance! 

And,  when  he  saw  a  little  affliction  needful,  he  sent  it. 
And  a  profitable  time  it  puved  to  me;  all  thanks  to  the 
seijdei!  1  have  i-ince  seen  such  beauty  in  holiness,  and  in 
the  imitation  of  Christ,  and  have  had  such  discoveries  of 
the  boundless  love  of  God,  as  I  never  had  before.  O  fur 
an  eternity  to  praise  him  in! 

If  ever  man  could  say  the  following  lines,  surely  I  may: 

"Pardon'd  for  all  that  I  have  clone, 

"M}  moutl)  as  in  the  dust  1  hide, 
•'Andgloi"}'  give  to  God  alone, 

*'My  God  forever  pacified." 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


BEFORE  hearing  the  gospel,  which  is  the  power  of 
God  unto  salvation,  I  was  often  terrified  in  dreams  and 
visions  of  the  night.  Sometimes  1  thought  I  was  falling 
down  steep  precipices;  at  others,  that  tfie  devil  was  stand- 
ing over  me  to  take  me  away  immediately. 

At  such  times,  I  have  often  awakened,  shrieking  in 
such  a  manner  as  terrified  all  who  heard  me.  Afterwards 
I  heard  the  gospel  for  a  season,  at  Rookhope,  in  the 
county  of  Durham;  but  the  people  not  receiving  the  joy- 
ful sound,  the  servants  of  God  forsook  the  place.  I  was 
left  with  much  uneasiness  on  my  mind;  what  I  formerly- 
delighted  in,  was  now  hateful  to  me.  I  could  play  no 
more  on  the  violin,  or  at  cards,  nor  sing  vain  songs;  nei- 
ther had  I  a  desire  to  speak  any  more  than  I  was  forced 
to.  The  people  saw  my  distress,  but  not  knowing  God, 
eould  not  point  out  a  cure. 

In  this  condition  I  continued  for  some  weeks.  I  be- 
gan to  read  religious  books,  and  likewise  to  bow  my 
knees  before  God  in  secret;  sometimes  I  could  weep 
much,  but  having  no  one  to  direct  me,  after  a  time  1  got 
back  into  folly,  and  pursued  my  evil  practices  with  more 
eagerness  than  before.  About  four  years  after,  I  was 
called  to  live  in  Weardale-chapel.  I  then  heard  the 
Methodists  very  frequentl}'.  I  was  often  softened  under 
the  word.  I  never  found  a  desire  to  mock  the  people,  as 
many  do;  but  rather  stood  in  awe  of  them.  But  all  this 
while  I  continued  in  my  sins.  The  first, Sabbath  in  Lent, 
1767,  1  heard,  as  u-.ual,  a  Methodist  preacher  in  the  af- 
ternoon. I  did  not  then  find  that  the  word  made  anj 
impression  u()on  me.  But  at  night,  on  my  bed,  the  Lord 
Cut  me  to  the  heart,  and  I  could  not  help  roaring  for  the 
disquietriess  of  my  snul.  I  then  felt  I  must  pedsh  eter 
natly,  unless  some  way  to  escape  were  found  which  I 
knew  not  of.  Immediately  I  wiahed  for  the  Methodists 
24 


^TS  EXPERIENCE     OF 

to  pray  with  me;  but  in  particular  for  a  young  man,  Ste- 
phen vVatson,  who  is  now  in  glory.  (From  the  time  he 
knew  Jesus,  he  was  a  pattern  to  allthe  society.  And  after 
having  walked  four  years  in  the  light  of  God's  counte- 
nance, he  departed  in  the  full  assurance  of  faith;  having 
testified  for  many  months  belore  his  death,  that  the 
blood  of  Jefeus  had  cleansed  him  from  all  sin.  His  last 
words  were,  "Glory  be  to  God  for  ever  and  ever  !  Amen 
and  Amen  I") 

One  morning  I  fell  down  on  my  knees  to  ask  forgive- 
ness for  my  many  offences,  and  continued  to  cry  night 
and  day.  My  burden  increased,  and  temptations  were 
very  strong.  I  then  began  to  compare  my.oelf  with  the 
most  sinful  of  my  companions,  and  with  other  not(tiioiJS 
sinners  I  had  heard  of;  but  1  could  find  no  equal.  I  said, 
from  the  ground  of  my  heart,  of  all  the  sinners  under 
heaven,  1  am  the  chief.  The  enemy  then  suggested, 
that  I  was  guilty  of  a  sin  which  God  never  would  pardon. 

Tongue  cannot  express  the  distress  1  then  felt. — The 
heart  knoweth  its  own  bitterness.  I  thought,  never  man 
suffered  what  1  did.  That  saying,  "A  dreadful  sound  in 
his  ears,"  continually  followed  me.  1  found  the  enemy 
ready  day  and  night  to  devour  me.  When  in  private 
prayer,  I  thought  he  had  hold  of  my  clothes.  For  many 
nights  he  suggested,  if  1  prayed,  he  would  appear  and 
tear  me  in  pieces.  Yet  I  durst  not  but  pray,  though  my 
prayers  were  mostly  made  up  of  sighs  and  groans.  One 
day,  drawing  towaids  evening,  the  enemy  came  in  as  a 
flood,  and  the  temptation  was,  to  put  an  end  to  a  wretch- 
ed life.  I  resisted,  but  it  continued  to  come  as  quick  as 
lightning,  and  1  was  afraid  that  the  tempter  would  pre- 
vail, so  that  I  durst  not  carry  a  penknife  about  me. 
This  was  the  only  time  I  was  banished  from  private 
prayer,  because  1  durst  not  stay  alone.  That  night  we 
met  our  class;  I  then  cried  out  to  one  of  my  brethren, 
who  was  wailing  for  me  to  go  with  him  to  the  meeting,  O 
Cuthbert!  I  am  driven  to  distraction  !  He  spake  to  me 
as  comfortably  as  he  could;  but  as  we  walked  together, 
i  found  as  if  one  was  hanging  on  the  skirts  of  my 
clothes.  After  the  fiist  prayer  was  over,  it  was  with 
difficulty  1  rose  fr(  m  my  knees.  When  the  leadei  askeci 
how  I  found  the  state  of  my  soul.  1  answered.  L  am  ieft 
without  one  spark  of  hope  that  Godwill  ever  have  mercy 


MR.   ROBERT   WILKINSON.  279 

on  me.    No,  said  he,  you  are  not;  for  if  you  were;  you 
would  not  BOW  be  using  the  means  of  grace. 

He  encouraged  me  to  follow  on;  but  I  still  found  no 
comfort.  All  the  time  of  my  convictions  1  had  but  very 
little  ease,  and  when  1  had,!  had  a  fear  almost  equal  to 
my  pain,  lest  I  should  fallback  into  sin,  or  speak  peace 
when  God  did  not.  O  how  1  longed  for  deliverance  from 
sin!  I  often  cried,  Lord,  if  1  am  forever  banished  from 
thy  presence,  lei  me  not  sin  again! 

Not  long  after,  that  text  in  the  51st  Psalm  followed 
me,  *'Then  will  I  teach  transgressors  thy  ways,  and  sin- 
ners shall  be  converted  unto  thee."  I  thought  if  God  did 
pardon  me,  he  could  refuse  none;  but  the  foulest  on  this 
side  hell  might  come  and  welcome.  But  this  was  the 
sting,  I  thought  he  would  not.  However,  I  kept  using  the 
means,  and  went  frequently  among  the  Methodists,  to 
get  tiiem  to  pray  with  me.  And  I  would  have  been  glad, 
if  they  had  asked  me  to  stay  all  night,  but  shame  would 
not  let  me  tell  them  so.  I  often  thought  I  never  could 
get  uver  another  night.  My  neighbours  said  1  was  be- 
side myself,  for  1  could  not  rest  in  my  bed.  I  often  rose 
and  wandered  in  the  fields,  weeping  and  bewailing  my 
desperate  state.  But,  blessed  be  God,  he  that  wounds 
can  heal. 

In  the  beginning  of  July,  Stephen  Watson  and  I 
were  sitting  together,  he  had  a  volume  of  the  Christian 
Library  in  his  hand,  out  of  which  he  read  one  of  Mr. 
Rutherford's  letters.  When  he  had  done,  Stephen,  said 
I,  I  find  as  it  were  a  melting  warmness  in  my  breast. — 
So  do  I  too  said  he.  He  then  asked,  cannot  you  believe 
that  God  has  pardoned  your  sins.^  No,  said  I;  1  dare 
not;  on  which  I  immediately  lost  my  comfort. 

Sabbath,  the  12th  of  July,  Joseph  Watson  preached  in 
the  Chapel  in  Weardale.     He  gave  out  that  hymn, 

All  ye  that  pass  by, 

To  Jesus  draw  nigh, 
To  you  is  it  nothing-  that  Jesus  should  die? 

Your  ransom  and  peace. 

Your  surety  he  is. 
Come,  see  if  there  ever  was  sorrow  like  his. 

For  you  and  for  me 
He  prayed  on  the  tree. 
The  prayer  is  accepted,  the  sinner  is  free: — 


S80  EXPERIENCE    OF 

Then,  all  within  me  cried  out, 

The  sinner  am  I, 
"Who  on  Jesus  rely. 
And  come  for  the  pardon  God  cannot  deny. 

I  then  believed  that  God,  for  Christ's  sake,  had  forgiv- 
en all  my  sins,  and  found  that  peace  which  aiises  from 
a  sense  of  reconciliation.  The  people  of  God  who  knew 
my  distress,  perceived  by  my  countenance  that  the  Lord 
was  gracious  to  me,  before  1  had  the  opportunity  to  tell 
them.  I  then  went  rejoicing  home,  and  could  not  help 
telling  what  God  had  done  for  my  soul. 

It  was  not  long  before  my  faith  was  tried.  One  of  our 
brethren,  a  Calvinist,  lent  mc  a  book.  As  I  read,  I 
Ihouglit  Mr.  Wesley  was  quite  in  the  wrong;  and  I 
found  something  in  me  that  rose  against  him;  yet  one 
Thing  I  remember  I  could  not  swallow,  which  was.  The 
author  asserted  that  a  sense  of  inbred  sin  would  reconcile 
us  to  death.  No,  said  Mr.  Wesley,  nothing  but  perfect 
Jove.  Indeed  I  could  not  persuade  myself  that  the  sting 
of  death  could  reconcile  us  to  death  itself.  However,  I 
read  and  reasoned  myself  miserable.  Yet  the  Lord  gave 
nie  grace  to  wrestle  with  him  in  prayer;  and  every  day 
I  found  more  or  less  the  witness  of  my  sonship.  I  was 
then  afraid,  if  I  sought  holiness,  I  should  rob  Christ  of 
liis  glory.  Some  of  our  people  hearing  that  I  read  that 
book,  and  conversed  with  the  man  who  lent  it,  took  it  for 
granted  that  I  was  prejudiced  against  the  "doctrine  of 
perfection,"  and  those  that  preached  it.  They  told  this 
to  my  band  leader.  I  went  one  Sabbath  morning  as 
usual,  at  seven  o'clock,  to  meet  my  band,  and  found  my- 
self in  a  peaceable  frame  of  mind.  No  sooner  did  the 
leader  begin  to  pray,  than  he  cried,  ''Lord,  never  suffer 
us  to  be  prejudiced  against  thy  servants,  seeing  that  thy 
will  is  our  sanctification!"  1  found  as  it  were,  something 
in  me  saying,  he  means  me.  When  he  spoke  his  expe- 
rience, he  expressed  the  same  thing;  on  which  1  said,  it 
is  me  you  mean.  He  answered,  "What  1  have  said,  I 
have  said."  I  then  found  violent  prejudice  against  him. 
My  peace  was  gone.  My  soul  waA  torn  in  pieces  within 
me.  I  told  one  nf  our  people  as  we  went  home,  how  my 
leader  had  behaved  towards  me.  1  did  not  regard  break- 
ing the  band  rules,  because  I  was  determined  never  to 


UK     ROBERT  WILKINSON,  28  1 

meet  in  a  band  any  more.  I  had  no  rest:  though  I  could 
not  give  up  mj  confidence  in  God,  nevertheless  my  cor- 
ruptions boiled  so  within  me,  that  I  could  have  fought 
with  a  feather. 

On  Friday  night  we  had  preaching.  I  went  to  it  like 
one  possessed  witli  a  legion  of  devils.  Afterwards  the 
bands  met,  and  the  preacher  earnestly  exhorted  all  pre- 
sent to  look  for  the  second  blessing,  and  insisted  that  it 
might  be  received.  Now,  thought  I,  if  there  is  such  a 
thing,  none  can  stand  in  more  need  of  it  than  I  do.  But 
the  eiemy  suggested;  "There  are  those  that  have  knowa 
God  several  years,  and  have  not  attained;  and  shalt  thou 
be  delivered  who  had  been  justified  only  a  few  months?" 
Immediately  I  found  power  to  resist  the  temptation,  and 
said  within  myself,  God  is  not  tied  to  time.  No  sooner 
did  that  thought  pa»s  through  my  heart  than  the  power  of 
God  seized  me.  I  found  I  could  not  resist,  and  therefore 
turned  myself  over  upon  the  seat:  I  cannot  express  how^ 
I  was.  I  found  such  a  travail  in  my  soul  as  if  it  would 
burst  from  the  body.  I  continued  so,  till  I  was  motion- 
less and  insensible  for  a  season.  But  as  I  was  coming  to 
myself  I  found  such  an  emptying,  and  then  such  a  heav- 
en of  love  springing  up  in  my  soul,  as  1  had  never  felt  be- 
fore; with  an  application  of  these  blessed  words,  ''He 
that  believeth  on  me,  as  the  scripture  hath  said,  out  of 
his  belly  shall  flow  rivers  of  living  water."  If  possible, 
I  could  have  put  my  band  leader  into  my  heart.  The 
book  I  mentioned  before  had  pleased  me  so  well  that  I 
had  given  orders  to  him  that  lent  it  me,  to  buy  me  one  of 
them.  But  no  sooner  did  God  work  thi- change  in  mj 
soul,  than  I  found  an  utter  aversion  to  it,  and  told  the 
man,  you  must  not  buy  it,  for  I  shall  never  read  it  more. 

In  the  year  1768,  I  was  sent  to  call  sinners  to  repent- 
ance, in  and  about  the  city  of  Carlisle.  Hererl  was  much 
persecuted;  but,  blessed  be  God,  he  delivered  me  out  of 
the  hands  of  all  my  enemies,  and  gave  me  several  sealtt 
to  ray  ministry. 

[7%Ms  far  Mr.  Wilkinson  lived  to  write  himself.     One 
of  his  fellow  labourers  added  what  follows.^ 

My  acquaintance  with  Mr.  W  ilkinson  was  very  short. 
The  first  time  I  ever  saw  him  was  a  little  above  three 
24  * 


282  EXPERIENCE    OF 

years  ago.  The  next  time  was  after  last  Bristol  confer- 
ence. He  was  there  appointed  to  labour  with  me  in  and 
about  Grimsby. 

When  we  met  in  the  circuit,  we  were  both  in  health; 
but  the  day  before  our  quarterly  meeting,  I  was  taken 
very  ill  of  a  fever;  however  the  next  morning  I  ventured 
to  set  out  for  the  meetin*;  but  having  fifteen  miles  to 
ride,  it  was  with  much  difficulty  I  got  safe  thither.  And 
then  I  was  unable  to  attend  either  the  love-feast  or  the 
watch-night. 

But  1  shall  never  forget  the  prayer  Mr.  Wilkinson  put 
up  for  me  at  tlie  close  of  the  love  feast,  "That  the  Lord 
would  spare  me  a  little  longer,  and  raise  me  up  again  to 
labour  in  his  vineyard,"  His  prayer  pierced  the  heav- 
ens, the  power  of  God  came  d -wn  upon  the  people  like  a 
torrent  of  rain.  They  were  so  affected  that  they  wept 
and  rejoiced  abundantly.  Immediately  I  shared  with 
them,  although  I  was  not^in  the  same  room,  the  divine 
presence  broke  my  heart  to  pieces.  My  soul  overflowed 
with  love,  and  my  eyes  with  tears.  I  know  not  that  I 
was  ever  so  powerfully  and  suddenly  affected  under  any 
person's  prayer,  except  on  the  day  I  was  converted  to 
G  'd.  Immediately  I  had  faith  to  believe  the  Lord  would 
raise  me  up  again,  and  for  several  minutes  it  appeared  to 
we  as  if  I  was  perfectly  well.  The  next  day  I  went 
along  with  him  to  Louth;  and  in  that  time  we  had  a  good 
deal  of  conversation  tojjether,  which  chiefly  turned  upon 
these  two  points,  viz.  Predestination  and  Christian  Per. 
fection. 

He  told  me  with  j'orrow  of  heart,  how  often  he  had 
been  grieved  for  the  immense  hurt  that  he  had  seen  done 
by  the  preaching  of  unconditional  predestination,  as  it 
blocked  up  the  way  of  repentence;  weakened  the  foun- 
dation of  diligence;  damped  the  fervour  of  believers  af- 
ter holiness;  and  had  a  tendency  to  destroy  it  root  and 
biaiich.  Ht  likewi-e  very  warmly  expressed  his  love  tor 
BibU'  holinf>8,  sa. ing,  it  was  the  delight  of  his  soul  to 
press  after  it  him^eH.  and  to  enfuce  it  upon  others;  and 
that  while  he  was  doing  this,  the  L  Td  blessed  him  most 
in  his  labours,  and  shone  clearest  upon  the  work  he  had 
wrought  in  his  own  soul.  He  signified  to  me  that  the 
Lo'd  had  circumcised  his  heart  to  love  the  Lord  his  God 
with  all  his  heart,  with  all  his  soul,  and  with  all  his 


MR.    ROBKWT    WILKTWSON.  288 

strenetVi:  and  I  believe,  at  that  time,  he  was  full  of  faith 
ami  the  Holy  Ghost. 

He  was  truly  meek,  and  lowly  of  heart:  and  little,  and 
mean,  and  vile  in  his  own  eyes.  1  found  my  mind 
amaziniily  united  to  him,  for  the  time  we  were  together, 
like  the  soul  of  Dividand  his  beloved  Jonathan.  I  lo- 
ved him  much  for  the  mind  of  (Christ  [  saw  in  him,  and 
for  his  zeal  for  the  Lord  nf  hosts.  We  parted  at  Louth, 
and  I  endeHvouretl,  with  the  fever  upon  me,  to  creep 
along  to  Ted  ford  to  preach:  but  it  was  with  much  trou- 
ble I  went  through  my  di>;C()urse.  That  night  the  fever 
seized  upon  me  more  violently,  and  never  left  me  for 
near  a  month.  About  a  week  after,  Mr.  Wilkinson  came 
to  Tedford  to  see  me.  We  spent  about  three  houis  to- 
gether very  piofitably.  We  then  both  of  us  prayed,  and 
commended  each  other  to  God. 

A  few  days  after  we  patted,  he  was  taken  ill  of  the 
fever,  and  could  not  rest  until  he  came  to  his  wife  at 
Grimsby;  where  he  lay  ill  for  four  or  five  weeks.  He 
then  appeared  to  be  recovering  fast,  and  walked  about  a 
little;  but  he  suddenly  relapsed,  and  was  carried  ofi'  in 
about  a  week. 

He  bore  all  his  afflictions  with  great  patience,  fre- 
quently lifting  up  his  heart  to  Gud,  and  repeating  these 
words:  '-But  he  knoweth  the  way  that  I  take:  when  he 
hath  tried  me,  I  shall  cooie  fortli  as  gold.  My  foot  hath 
held  his  *teps,  his  way  have  I  kept,  and  not  declined. 
Neither  have  I  gone  back  from  the  commandment  of  his 
lijis;  1  have  esteemed  the  words  of  his  mouth  more  than 
Riy  necessary  food."  Job  xxiii.  When  he  perceived 
that  he  should  die,  he  exhorted  his  wife  to  cast  all  her 
care  upon  the  Lord:  and  encouraged  her  to  believe  that 
his  grace  was  sufficient  for  her. 

He  then  prayed  for  her  and  his  two  children;  earnestly 
intreaiing  the  Lord  to  protect  them  in  this  troublesome 
world,  and  to  supply  ail  their  wants. 

He  next  prayed  feivenily  for  Mr.  Wesley,  that  the 
pre-.ei»ce  of  the  Lord  might  cuntinue  with  him  all  his 
days,  and  crown  him  at  last  with  eternal  glory. 

He  then  remetnbered  his  three  fellow-labourers  in  the 
circuit,  piaying  that  the  Redeemer  would  assist  us  in  the 
great  work:  that  he  would  go  forth  with,  and  bless  the 
labours  of  all  the  |jrcdchers,  and  that  the  kingdom  of  the 


284  BXPKRIEH0B    OP 

Redeemer  mijrht  spread  unto  the  ends  of  the  earth,  and 
preserve  them  until  tlu'v  join  the  church  triumphant. 

In  'he  ni};ht  sea'On,  he  had  a  severe  conflict  wiih  Sa- 
t.in,  and  his  spirit  wrestled  with  God  in  pra\er.  Yea.  he 
was  ill  an  agony,  a^  he  said  alterward*.  At  last  the 
tempter  fled,  and  he  seemed  as  if  he  was  admit'ed  into 
heaven,  to  converse  with  God,  with  anj'els  and  saints. 

He  suddenly  waked  his  wife,  (who  was  in  the  >ame 
room)  and  said,  '^Thou  hast  been  sleeping,  but  I  have 
been  in  heaven.  O  vihat  has  the  Lord  discovered  to  me 
this  night!  O  the  glory  of  GodI  the  glory  of  God  and 
heaven!  the  celestial  city!  the  New  Jerusalem!  O  the 
lovely  beauty!  the  happiness  of  paradise!  God  is  all  love; 
he  is  nothing  but  love!  O  help  me  to  praise  hiui!  O  help 
me  to  praise  him!  I  shall  praise  him  forever!  I  shall  praise 
him  foievei"  So  Robert  Wilkinson  departed  this  life  ia 
peace,  on  Friday,  December  8th,  about  eleven  o'clock, 
1780. 

It  seemed  a  great  providence  that  he  died  on  the  mar- 
ket day,  when  a  number  of  friends  out  of  the  country 
were  present,  who  quickly  published  in  their  little  villa- 
ges, that  a  funeral  sermon  would  be  preached  on  Sab- 
Sdth.  The  house  was  well  filled,  and  the  Lord  made  it 
a  solemn  time.  I  believe  there  was  scarce  a  dry  eye  in 
the  congregation. 

1  have  often  taken  notice,  how  the  Lord  makes  the 
triumphant  death  of  good  men  a  peculiar  blessing  to  his 
children,  who  are  left  behind;  so  it  was  at  this  time.  The 
people  of  God  were  remarkably  ble>t  in  hearing  the  dying 
testimony  of  our  dear  friend.  The  wordly  people  and 
he  back-sliders  also  were  cut  to  the  heart. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  sermon  I  dr»»pt  these  words* 
earth  has  lost,  and  heaven  has  gained  a  child  of  God.— - 
Let  us  pray  the  Lord  to  add  another  to  the  church  mili- 
tant. We  did  so;  and  the  Lord  answered  our  prayer, 
by  setting  a  young  man's  soul  at  liberty,  so  that  he  went 
rom  the  scdemn  place,  as  the  shep;.erds  from  the  heaven- 
ly vihioi),  blessiuj;,  |irai>ing,  and  glorifying  God. 

The  minister  of  the  parish  behaved  exceeding  kind: 
he  came  to  the  preaching  house,  stayed  awhile,  and  then 
walkeii  slowly  before  the  corpse;  whilst  the  people  sung 
a  hymn  <'f  praise.  When  weainved  at  the  church,  one 
oifour  friends  asked  him  if  we  might  sing  a  hymn.     He 


MR.    WILLIAM    FERGUSON.  285 

answered,  '<I  have  no  objection:  T  am  against  nothing  that 
is  good."     So  we  sung  those  awful  words, 
Thee  we  adore,  eternal  name, 
*'And  humbly  own  to  thee, 
"How  feeble  is  our  mortal  frame, 
"What  dying  worms  we  be!" 

The  people  sang  lustily  and  with  a  solemn  spirit;  for  the 
divine  presence  was  with  us  all  the  way  through;  and  in 
such  a  manner  as  I  never  knew  before  at  any  funeral. 

When  the  minister  read  these  words,  "Not  to  be  sorry 
a?  men  without  hope,"  Mrs.  Wilkinson  (who  hung  upon 
my  arm  with  her  two  little  Dabes)  was  so  overwhelmed 
with  the  presence  of  God,  that  she  could  not  refrain  from 
crying  out,  "sorryl  no!  glory  be  to  God!  glory  be  to 
God!  glory,  and  praise,  and  blessing,  be  ascribed  unto 
God,  forever  and  ever!"  Her  spirit  seemed  as  if  it  was 
ready  to  launch  into  the  eternal  world,  to  be  with  Jesus 
and  her  happy  husband.  A  remarkable  power  fell  on  all 
that  could  hear  her;  so  that  the  people  were  melted  into 
tears;  some  of  sorrow,  others  ofjo^. 

From  this  time  the  work  of  God  began  to  revive  at 
Grimsby,  and  the  country  people  caught  the  fire,  and 
carried  it  along  with  them  into  their  little  societies. 

Robert  Wilkinson  was,  as  you  have  described  him, 
"an  Israelite  indeed;  a  man  of  faith  and  prayer:  who 
having  been  a  pattern  of  all  good  works,  died  in  the  full 
triumph  of  faith."  O  what  a  blessing  to  live  and  die  a 
Christian!  May  I  also  be  a  follower  of'those  who  through 
faith  and  patience  inherit  the  promises!  In  my  life,  and 
at  my  death  may  I  be  like  him! 


THE  EXPERIENCE  OF 


MY  father  and  mother  lived  at  Kelso,  in  Scotland, 
where  they  had  five  children.  But  when  my  mother  was 
big  of  the  sixth,  she  could  not  be  delivered,  the  child  being 
dead  within  her.    In  a  desperate  case  a  desperate  meth- 


286  EXPERIENCE    OT 

od  was  used;  incision  was  made,  and  the  child  taken  out 
other  side.  And  vet,  by  the  blessing  of  God  she  sur- 
vived, and  recovered  her  health  and  strength.  But  the 
physician  assured  her,  if  she  had  another  child  it  could 
not  be  born,  but  siie  must  infallibly  die.  H'wever  she 
was  with  child  a^ain:  as  the  time  of  her  delivery  ap- 
proached, expecting  nothing  but  death,  she  cried  to  God 
day  and  night.  But  to  the  amaxcment  of  all  she  was 
delivered  with  more  ease,  than  she  had  ever  been  of  any 
child  bef(n-e. 

I  was  the  child  (hen  born,  on  the  25th  of  March,  17S5.. 
I  was  brought  up  a  Presbyterian,  and  had  very  early  im- 
pressions on  my  soul.  When  I  was  about  six  yeais  old, 
1  used  to  wonder  I  could  not  weep  under  sermons,  as 
others  did.  I  left  oft"  play,  and  going  into  the  fields,  used 
to  think  of  God,  of  the  devil,  of  heaven  and  hell.  I 
thought  God  loved  me,  and  was  willing  to  bring  me  to 
heaven.  But  I  thoiig^ht  if  the  devil  should  get  me  to  hell, 
I  shall  never  get  out.  Yet  I  tho'  ght,  Christ  sutFeied  for 
my  sins,  and  thereby  made  a  full  atonement  foi  them. — 
But  although  I  knew  these  great  truths,  yet  my  heart 
was  unclianged:  and  I  constantly  went  on  in  the  follies  of 
childhood,  according  to  the  devices  of  my  own  heart. 

When  I  was  ten  years  old,  my  parents  removed  to 
Eysmouth,  eight  miles  north  of  Berwick:  here  1  grew 
thoughtful  again,  and  began  to  pray  much,  wherein  1 
found  so  gieat  pleasure,  that  1  persuaded  four  boys  I  was 
ac(iuainted  with,  to  go  with  me,  morning  and  evening, 
into  a  secret  place  in  a  timberyard,  between  two  stacks 
of  deals,  where  we  prayed  one  after  the  other.  This  we 
constantly  did  for  two  months:  but  a  young  gentleman 
lodged  jui^t  by,  whose  window  looked  into  the  yard:  ob- 
serving us  to  go  thither  constantly,  he  wanted  to  know 
the  reason.  And  meeting  nie  one  day  alone,  after  giving 
me  many  good  words,  asked  me,  why  we  met  together 
between  the  stack*.^  I  told  him,  but  begged  him  not  to 
tell  any  one:  which  he  faithfully  promised.  But  not- 
withstanding he  went  immediately  and  told  the  children 
tlieniselves,  and  their  parents,  and  the  people  of  the 
town:  uiany  of  whom  cried  out,  '"that  it  was  blasphemy 
for  such  young  children  to  pretend  to  pray."  Ti  e  chil- 
dren  were  soon  laughed  out  of  their  religion,  and  never 
rested  till  they  made  me  like  themselves:  nay  till  they 


MR.    WILLIAM    FEUGUSOV.  287 

taught  me  to  get  drunk,  which  we  did  in  that  very  place 
where  we  used  to  pray  together. 

Two  years  after  my  parents  removed  to  Holy  Island, 
nine  miles  south  of  Berwick.  Tlie  people  of  this  place 
weie  mostly  smugglers,  and  the  childien,  remarkably 
Avicked.  Of  these  I  soon  learnt  to  curse  and  swear  and 
to  glory  in  my  shame.  I  learned  to  tell  lies  for  sport,  to 
play  at  cards,  to  dance,  to  work  the  greate<t  part  of  the 
Sabbath  day,  and  to  make  a  mock  at  all  religious  people, 
saying,  they  were  all  hypocrites.  And  in  this  deplorable 
condition  1  remained  till  1  was  near  twenty  years  old. 

During  this  time  I  was  twice  in  great  danger  of  being 
drowned,  going  to  Holy  Island  in  very  dark  nights.  It 
was  also  a  flowing  <ide;  I  had  lost  my  way:  and  the  sea 
came  in  fast  upon  me.  But  both  times  1  was  brought  safe 
to  land.  I  was  serious  for  awhile  after.  But  1  then  got 
into  laughing  trifling  company:  and  my  seriousnesss  soon 
wore  oflT.  Another  time  being  with  a  gang  of  smugglers, 
a  king's  officer  clapt  a  pistol  to  my  breast,  and  swore  bit- 
terly, if  1  lifted  a  hand,  he  would  shoot  me  through  the 
heart.  The  thought  of  instant  death  shocked  me  much. 
But  this  too  1  stifled  by  drinking  and  dancing. 

So  1  continued  fast  asleep  in  the  devil's  arms,  tilt  one 
day  as  1  was  working  in  the  shop  with  my  father,  my  mind 
ran  upon  a  match  of  drinking  and  dancing,  in  which  I 
was  engaged  to  join  in  the  evening.  Suddenly  I  heard 
a  voice  tVom  heaven,  saying,  "What  if  thou  shouldst 
drop  down  dead  in  the  midst  of  the  dance!  wouldst  thou 
go  to  heavenr"  I  said,  "No,  1  am  not  fit  for  heaven." 
Immediately  1  felt,  1  had  past  sentence  upon  myself;  and 
that  if  I  went  not  to  heaven,  hell  was  my  portion;  light 
broke  in:  1  was  filled  with  horror;  1  saw  myself  hanging 
over  the  mouth  of  hell,  by  the  brittle  thread  of  life. 

My  father  looked  me  in  the  face,  and  asked,  '-what  is 
the  matter.^"  But  1  made  no  answer. — He  said,  certainly 
something  is  the  matter.  For  you  are  sometimes  red  as 
scarlet,  and  in  a  moment  white  as  chalk.  But  still  I 
spoke  not  one  word:  my  mouth  was  stopt:  1  was  guilty 
before  God.  Yet  I  was  thankful  that  I  was  alive,  and 
tlmught,  "0  that  God  would  let  me  live  one  day  longer  I 
In  how  dift'erent  a  manner  would  I  spend  my  time!  Sure- 
ly not  in  the  ways  T  sin."  Soon  after,  I  sat  down  to 
dinner:  but  I  could  nut  swallow  a  morsel.     My  mother 


288  EXPERIENCE    OF 

observing  this,  was  very  angry  with  my  father,  tliinkiug 
I  was  grieved  at  ^omethirlg  he  hud  said.  But  finding  that 
was  not  the  case,  she  was  quite  struck,  and  turning  to 
me,  said,  "my  dear,  why  do  not  you  cat  your  dinner?"  I 
made  no  answer.  Indeed  1  could  not,  for  my  heart  was 
fit  to  break. 

In  the  evening  my  company  came  in,  to  carry  me  to 
the  dancing.  To  their  great  surprise  they  found  me 
reading  the  Bible.  They  asked  my  father  and  mother, 
♦'Are  not  you  willing  he  should  go  with  u>r"  They  said, 
"yes;  but  we  think  he  is  not  well."  They  said,  ♦•Come, 
we  shall  soon  cure  him,  lay  hold.  "We  will  carry  him.'' 
*'Do,  says  another,  and  1  will  carry  his  fiddle."  I  look- 
ed at  them  and  said  very  mildly,  "If  you  do  carry  me 
I  shall  be  of  no  use  to  }  ou.  .  For  a  dance  I  will  not  dance 
this  night:  and  a  tune  I  will  not  play."  They  stared, 
and  left  me. 
When  our  family  went  to  rest,  I  durst  not  go  to  bed,  for 
ear  1  should  awake  in  hell.  1  tried  to  pray,  but  could  not. 
I  stayed  for  some,  time  with  my  heart  as  hard  as  a  stone. 
At  last  I  fell  upon  my  knees;  and  with  a  flood  of  tears 
cried  out,  "Lord  be  merciful  tome;  for  1  am  a  great  sin- 
ner.'* I  found  my  mind  a  little  eased,  and  went  to  bed 
and  slept  comfortably.  But  in  the  morning  my  trouble 
was  as  great  as  ever.  When  1  went  out  about  my  busi- 
ness, many  mocked  me  for  my  gravity:  others  said,  "It 
is  a  great  pity  so  fine  a  young  man  should  lose  the  use  of 
his  reason."  But  what  grieved  me  more,  was  to  see  all 
the  people,  as  I  had  been  myself  fast  asleep  in  the  devil's 
arms. 

On  Sabbath  morning  1  rose  early,  and  the  tide  being 
out,  walked  to  Lonwick  on  the  main  land,  and  went  to  a 
Presbyterian  meeting.  The  ministers  text  was,  "I  will 
arise  and  go  to  my  father."  It  was  a  word  spoke  in 
season.  I  thought  he  looked  at  me  all  the  time.  Peo- 
ple did  indeed  look  at  me;  many  of  them  knowing  me 
well,  and  wondering,  how  1  came  there.  When  I  came 
home,  my  moiher  begged  me  with  tears,  to  reveal  what 
was  upon  my  mind.  She  said,  "What  is  it  you  have 
done.''  Have  you  murdered  an)'  body.'*''  1  said,  "no  mo- 
ther; I  have  murdered  no  body;  but  1  have  almost  mur- 
dered my  poor  soul." 


MR.    WILLIAM    FEUGUSON.  289 

As  soon  as  the  inhabitants  of  the  island  found  that  1 
would  not  drink,  swear,  or  work  on  the  Lord's  daj,  they 
were  violently  angry,  so  that  1  could  hardly  walk  the 
street  for  the  mob  setting  upon  me.  And  my  father  and 
mother  insisted  on  my  working  at  my  business  on  the 
Lord's  day.  But  1  told  them,  "N<>,  never  more;  1  will 
sooner  have  the  flesh  tore  off'  my  bones."  My  prayer  now 
was,  to  get  out  of  this  ungodly  place;  and  a  fortnight  af- 
ter, my  parents  consented:  so  1  left  them,  not  knowing 
whither  1  was  going,  but  designed  to  follow  my  father's 
trade,  provided  I  could  get  any  master,  who  would  not 
require  me  to  work  on  the  Lord's  day. 

When  1  came  to  Newcastle-upon-Tyne,  as  1  was  going 
down  Pilgrim  street,  1  saw  abundance  of  people  going 
along,  who  seemed  remarkably  seri  >us.  1  asked  a  man, 
"Pray,  who  are  all  these?"  He  answered,  "These  are  all 
Wesleyite^;  they  are  coming  from  the  preaching."  This 
was  the  first  time  I  saw  or  heard  of  them.  The  next  day 
1  went  on  to  Sunderland,  where  1  found  out  my  father's 
brother,  and  enquired  if  he  knew  any  barber  who  did  not 
work  on  the  Sabbath?  "J^es,"  said  he,  "there  is  Tommy 
Parker,"     So  to  him  1  went  without  delay. 

To  my  great  surprise,  the  sailors  that  came  into  our 
shop,  did  not  curse  or  swear  at  all.  But  sev-eral  of  thetu 
took  my  master  by  the  hand  and  said,  "How  do  you  do, 
brother?"  1  asked,  pray,  sir,  are  all  these  your  broth- 
ers?" He  said,  "We  are  all  brethren  in  Christ."— 
When  Sabbath  came,  I  got  one  to  shew  me  to  the  preach- 
ing house,  where  1  saw  my  master  in  the  pulpit!  His 
text  was,  "He  shall  bring  forth  the  top  stone  with  shout- 
inj;,  crying  grace,  grace,  unto  it.  I  then  told  him  the 
distress  of  my  mind.  He  advised  me  to  go  to  London, 
telling  me,  1  should  there  have  all  the  means  of  grace  ia 
the  greatest  abundance.  1  went  to  London,  where  my 
cousin,  Thomas  Fryer,  soon  got  me  into  a  shop:  and  not 
long  after,  on  my  telling  him  1  wanted  to  meet  in  a  class 
carried  me  to  he  tabernacle.  1  went  into  the  vestry  and 
tuld  two  gentlemen  1  found  there,  '•!  should  be  glad  t9 
meet  in  a  class,  that  I  may  speak  my  experience,  and  tell 
of  the  work  of  God  which  1  have  found  upon  my  heart." 
One  of  them  said,  "What  class  shall  we  put  him  into?'* 
The  other  answered,  "indeed  1  cannot  te  1.  Mr.  Wes- 
ley's classes  are  far  more  strictly  looked  after  than  ours."  * 
23 


Sf90  HXrKHlEKOE    09 

If  jou  please  then  said  1,  I  will  go  and  meet  in  one  of 
his  classes.  He  looked  at  me,  and  said,  "really  young 
man,  I  cannot  blame  you."  1  went  immediately  to  Mr. 
Wesley,  who  after  a  little  conversation,  gave  me  a  note 
of  admittance. 

As  1  now  prayed  much,  and  heard  many  sermonn,  and 
abstained  from  all  known  sin,  I  began  to  be  very  easy, 
supposing  myself  to  be  a  very  good  Christian.  And  one 
day  in  a  house  in  Radcli If  highway,  I  b^gan  talking  as  if 
1  had  gone  a  great  wav  in  religion.  Tins,  an  old  gentle- 
woman observinj^,  came  and  taking  me  by  the  hand,  said, 
"D )  you  know  your  sins  are  pardoned.'*"  i  answered, 
**1  hope  so."  She  said,  ''1  fear  not;  for  if  they  wore,  you 
would  have  the  witness  in  yourself.  Satnti  cares  not 
how  far  we  go  in  religion,  if  we  will  but  st  >p  short  of 
this.  I  advice  you,  w!\eii  you  go  iio.ue,  pray  earnestly  to 
the  Lord,  to  show  you  whether  your  sing  are  pardoned. 
If  they  are,  to  give  you  the  \viti.e-.s  cf  u:  if  they  are  not, 
never  t(»  let  >ou  rest  with  -ut  it." 

1  was  quite  speechless,  finding  1  had  stopped  short  of 
the  pri'/.e.  1  hastened  I  o dc.  {^raying  all  rhe  way.  I 
Watched,  I  prayed,  I  waitt'd  in  all  the  means  of  grace, 
longing  for  Christ  to  come  into  my  heart.  I  could  haid- 
Iv  eat  any  fiod,  till  Sabbith  cauie,  wlien  I  went  to  the 
Seven-didis,  to  hear  .Mr.  Wesiej.  I  was  n»uch  biest  un- 
der the  wo'd,  expecting  every  m«)ment  to  receive  the 
■witness.  On  Monday,  as  1  ^atat  work,  I  was  thinkirjg 
the  sermon  over  again,  when  on  a  sudden  my  mind  was 
whirled  away,  and  fi'led  with  vain  iiua^iiations.  After 
a  tifue  I  cried  out,  "Lord,  wh:it  a  wicked  wrefch  am  1! 
Wilt  thou  pardon  this,  with  all  my  other  sins.'^"  In  a 
moment  the  Lord  said  to  my  heart,  -'My  bio  id  hath 
atoned  not  only  for  this,  but  f  »r  ail  the  siris  which  thoa 
hast  ever  committed.  Thou  art  no  more  thy  own.  Ihou 
art  bought  with  a  price;  and  1  will  give  the  power  to  glo- 
rify me,  with  thy  body,  and  spirit,  v/hich  are  mine." 

In  that  moment  my  hell  was  turned  into  heaven:  joyful 
day,  that  ascertained  the  kingdom  mine;  just  two  years 
after  the  Lord  had  awakened  me  out  of  the  sleep  of 
death.  I  seemed  now  to  be  in  another  world:  every  thing 
was  nevy^.  Every  thing  about  me  was  comfi»rtable;  for  the 
Lord  smiled  upon  my  soul.  For  two  days  and  two  nights, 
every  breath  1  drew  was  praise  and  prayer  havmg  sweet 


ilR.    WILLIAM    FEReUSeN. 


S§1 


intercourse  opened  between  God  and  my  seul.  When 
Satan  temple*!,  1  said,  "go  to  my  Lord!"'  and  the 
temptation  died  away.  Whatever  I  wanted,  1  could  make 
my  request  known  to  my  reconciled  father  for  it,  in  the 
name  of  his  well  beloved  son,  and  he  granted  my  petition. 
1  asked  of  him  two  temporal  ble><siugs,  the  one  that  he 
would  give  me  a  lawful  calling,  wherein  I  might  not  be  so 
continually  teamed  to  w»i  k  on  the  Sabbath  day;  the  other, 
that  he  would  give  me  a  help  mate.  He  answered  me  in 
both.  He  inclined  the  heart  of  a  watchmaker  to  teach 
me  his  trade;  who  afterwards  gave  me  his  grand-daughter 
to  wife.  And  from  that  time  we  have  sweetly  gone  on 
hand  in  hand,  towards  our  Father's  kingdom. 
,  Some  time  after,  having  a  great  desire  to  see  my  pa. 
rents  once  more,  I  went  with  my  wife  to  Holy  Island 
But  now  i  was  exposed  to  a  danger  1  had  not  foreseen. 
I  was  employed  in  my  trade  by  some  ot  the  first  people 
in  the  country,  and  fretjuently  invited  to  their  house; 
whereby  pride  and  other  unholy  tempers  began  to  revive 
in  my  soul.  However,  by  the  grace  of  GkI,  I  continued 
fighting  against  them,  thuugii  sometimes  conquering, 
sometimes  yielding.  Indeed  I  seeaied  like  a  dour  upon 
the4iinges,  turning  backwards  and  foi  wards.  This  filled 
me  with  unspeakable  grief  and  though  I  still  knew  God 
was  reconciled,  yet  I  went  mourning  all  the  day  long,  be- 
cause of  inbred  sin. 

But  about  fourteen  years  ago,  as  1  was  one  night  sitting 
in  my  house  at  Alnwick,  in  Noj-thumberland,  my  family 
being  all  in  bed,  I  began  to  read  one  of  Mr.  Walsh's  ser- 
mons. When  1  came  to  those  words.  "'Salvation  is  two 
fold,  emptying  us  of  evil,  and  filling  us  with  good  !  My 
heart  was  melted  down,  and  i  cried  out,  "Lord,  give  me 
at  least  the  former  part  of  thy  salvation.  Empty  me  of 
evil !"  In  a  moment  I  felt  such  a  change  as  no  tongue 
can  express.  I  felt  every  kind  and  degree  ot  anger  and 
resentment  quite  taker»  out  of  my  heart.  My  pride  also 
was  gone,  and  I  was  thorouglily  content  to  be  despised  of 
all  men.  1  was  cru/;iiied  to  the  world;  to  all  its  honours 
and  profit-.;  all  its 'comforts  and  pleasures.  The  fear  of 
man  was  quite  gone:  aiid  so  was  all  conformity  to  the 
woi  Kl.  I  regarded  neither  the  smiles  nor  the  fiovy.is  of 
great  men;  being  quite  set  at  liberty,  and  finding  notrimg 


202  EXPERIENCE    OF 

in  my  heart  but  pure  Idvc.  Love  free  from  dissimula- 
tion, abliorrinj;  that  which  is  evil,  and  cleaving  to  that 
which  is  g  Mid. 

1  cried  out,  "What  shall  I  render  unto  the  Lord,  fur  all 
the  benefits  he  hath  done  unto  me?"  The  Lnrd  said,  -'Go 
work  in  my  vineyard.  As  thou  hast  been  a  faitiiful  ad- 
vocate for  the  devil,  be  now  a  faitliful  labt)rer  for  me." 
I  shivered  at  the  thought,  knowing  the  littleness  of  my 
ta^ents,  and  fearing  I  shuuld  dishonour  his  cause:  \et  be- 
lieving it  was  his  will,  1  promised  to  go,  though  with  my 
life  in  my  hand. 

Wheti  I  declared  what  a  blessing  1  had  received,  there 
was  nobody  that  would  believe  it.  And  when  I  said,  1  be- 
lieved God  had  called  me  to  preach,  many  were  leady  tck 
swallow  me  up.  I  desired  they  would  give  me  a  fair  tri- 
al. But  it  could  not  he.  So  I  went  to  a  little  country- 
town,  where  no  Methodist  had  ever  preached.  I  spoke 
to  a  sarious,  attentive  congregation;  in  cim^equence  of 
which,  1  was  invited  to  four  country-towns  near  Alnwick. 
But  the  more  1  laboured,  the  more  offended  >ome  of  my 
brethren  were,  till  the  providence  of  God  calkd  me  to 
London. 

1  came  to  London  on  Friday,  nine  years  ago.  The 
next  day  the  men  were  hung  in  chains  on  IJow-common. 
On  Sabbath  thousands  of  people  came  to  gaze  at  them: 
to  whom  1  preached  on,  ''What  is  a 'man  profited,  if  he 
shall  gain  the  whole  world,  and  lose  his  own  soul?" 
Quickly  after  1  was  seized  with  a  violent  fever.  But  the 
consolations  of  God  were  not  small  with  me;  and  made 
me  large  amends  for  all  the  pain  1  suffered.  After  the 
Lord  had  raised  me  up  from  my  >ick-bed,  it  pleased  h'un 
to  try  me  with  poverty.  We  were  brought  so  low,  as  to 
have  neither  food  to  eat,  nor  raiment  to  put  on.  This 
was  our  case,  while  1  served  a  seveie  master,  for  very 
small  wages;  who  nevertheless,  was  continually  blaming 
me,  and  threatening  to  turn  me  off. 

At  length,  the  Lord  put  it  into  the  heart  of  my  dear 
wife,  to  advise  me  to  try  what  I  could  do  in  Holland.  I 
left  England  in  the  latter  end  of  August.  After  a  pas- 
sage often  davs,  1  laaded  at  Amsterdam,  from  whence 
i  went  to  the  Hague.  It  was  at  first  very  distressing  to 
tne  that  1  did  not  understand  the  language.  But  the 
Lord  moved  the  minds  of  the  people  wherever  1  was,  t» 


MR.    WILLIAM    FKRSUSOK.  298 

help  me  all  they  could.  He  raised  me  up  real  friends 
who  >eMt  me  fr  im  town  to  town,  and  recomnended  me 
fi'M.i  fine  to  .itiother:  even  to  the  fi'st  pers-uis  (tf  tiie  laud 
A':d  after  having  disposed  ot  my  e;<»()(l'«  I  was  Ihmu /  >t 
home  axain  in  safety,  after  an  absence  of  six  months  and 
three  lays. 

1  n  iw  th;>ught  my  work  abroad  was  done,  ao'l  that  I 
mii^ht  -p.'iid  the  rest  of  my  life  in  my  ow'i  Ctxintry  — 
But  to  my  surprise,  1  recei'-ed  abundance  (»f  letters,  ear- 
nestly pressing  me  to  co'ne  back.  Believing  it  was  the 
call  of  God,  on  the  »Meventh  nf  April,  1778.  1  e  iibarked 
at  fIelvoet>>liivs,  and  crossed  .-ver  to  the  H  igue,  where 
my  friends  with  the  utmost  kindnes*,  intnulnced  me  to 
the  prince  of  Orange  in  particular.  He  a»ked  ne  many 
que-^tions  concerning  both  my  country  and  reliijioii.  1 
anS'Vered  him  with  all  simplicity,  and  he  appeared  well 
satisfied.  Soon  after,  1  was  made  bu'gher  of  the  tcvn. 
From  thence  I  went  to  Levden.  Uelf,  Ratterdan,  D  rt, 
Haerlem,  Amsterdam,  Utrecht,  and  most  of  the  other 
chief  cities  in  the  United  Provinces.  In  my  journies  I 
met  with  ma-iy  pers"ns,  who'u  I  believed  to  be  tlie  true 
children  of  God.  B 'tit  was  a  g.ievous  cross,  that  we 
could  only  speak  a  very  fe  v  words  to  each  other.  Hav- 
ing done  my  bu>ines8,  1  retiirned  by  Helvoetsluys  to 
Harwich,  and  so  to  Loidon. 

Oa  April  15.  1779, 1  embarked  ajain  for  Holland,  and 
went  thro*  the  same  pFaces  1  did  the  last  year.  And  now 
1  could  converse  a  little  in  the  dutcli  language.  The  fi-st 
children  of  G.)d  that  I  f)und,  were  in  the  city  of  Haer- 
lem. Tliey  came  to  my  shop,  and  told  me,  the  goods 
were  pretty:  but  I  must  take  care,  not  to  set  my  heart 
upon  them.  I  told  them,  my  heart  was  in  heaven,  and 
that  these  pretty  things  were  under  niy  feet.  One  of 
them  then  invited  nie  to  his  house,  where  1  found  a  ci»m- 
pany  assembled  together.  They  received  fne  with  the 
utmost  courtesy,  and  asked,  what  religion  I  was  of.''  I 
answered,  "'Of  tiiat  describid  in  the  13th  of  t!)e  Corinth- 
ians, from  the  fourth  to  the  seventh  verse,"  having  read 
the  words,  they  said,  "this  is  our  religion  too:  we  receive 
y«u  as  a  brother."  Ttiev  recommended  me  as  such  to  all 
their  acquaintance,  so  that  I  was  kindly  received  wher- 
ever 1  came.  And  I  found  just  thesama  liberty  of  spirit 
with  these,  as  with  my  breihien  iu  England.     From  this 


£94  xxrKRiENes  of 

time,  1  found  all  over  tlie  country,  persons  that  knew  and 
loved  tlie  gf'Spel:  and  after  »[)endiiii;  six  inontlix  com- 
fortably amoni;  tliem,  1  clieei fully  leturned  to  my  family. 

1  went  again  the  next  spring,  and  was  received  with 
the  same  kindness  as  befi>re.  And  having  more  of  the 
langjaij'i,  I  f.>U'ul  out  more  and  more  of  the  chil- 
dren of  God.  1  r»j  »iced  to  find  aimmg  ther^e  some  of  the 
rich  and  great,  « ho  appeared  to  be  as  humble  as  the 
least  itf  them.  They  were  glad  t«»  hear,  that  there  was  a 
peode  in  Kngland  that  loved  and  served  (Jjd.  And 
some  of  them  iiail  a  great  desire  to  settle  a  coriesp<»n- 
dence  with  tlieir  Etigli>h  biethren:  which  was  soon  after 
efl'ected,  and  has  continued  ever  since,  to  the  no  small 
coiiifort  iif  Loth. 

W^hen  1  entered  upon  this  trade,  I  had  many  discour- 
agements. Mo-t  t>f  mv  acquainfaf)ce  eiil)er  mocked  or 
pitied  me,  saying,  I  was  the  mo^t  improper  person  in  the 
woild  to  be  concerned  in  such  a  l)Usines««.  And  besides 
1  had  no  nmtiev.  I  had  indeed  veiy  little,  iiut  I  believ- 
ed God  would  bles-  that  little.  And  he  sent  me  help  ia 
time  of  need,  so  that  money  came  just  when  it  was  want- 
ed. One  time  1  was  shipping  off  a  chest  of  goods,  but 
had  not  money  to  pay  the  duty.  I  told  my  wife, ''Giid 
will  provide."  Presently  a  gentleman  1  never  saw 
before  knocked  at  tlie  duor,  and  when  he  came  in,  told 
me,  he  wanted  a  parcel  of  good**,  and  would  pay  par  t  of 
the  money  then.  He  did  so, and  it  was  as  much  as  I  want- 
ed to  pay  the  dutv  on  my  chest. 

It  is  iiijw  aoout  fourteen  years  since  1  began,  accordino- 
to  my  ability,  to  call  sinners  to  repentance.  And  1  bless 
God  though  I  have  had  many  discouragements,  1  am  not 
yet  weary.  I  have  not  laboured  in  vain.  God  has  given 
me  to  see  a  little  fruit  of  my  labours.  Blessed  be  his 
name,  he  has  washed  me  from  my  sins;  and  I  know  he  is 
able  to  keep  me  from  falling,  and  to  enable  me  to  grow 
in  grace  till  he  receives  me  into  his  glory. 


THE  END. 


CONTENTS. 


Mr.  John  Pawson, 3 

Mr.  John  Haime, 23 

Mr.  John  MurUn -     -     53 

3lr.  Christopher  Hopper,       -     -     .       79 

Mr.  Jo'm  Oliver, liO 

Mr.  Alexander  Mather,  -  -  .  -  123 
3Ir.  Benjamin  Rhodes,  -  -  -  -  152 
IMr.  Tliomas  Tennant,      -     -     -     -     I6I 

Mr-  William  ffnnter, 166 

Mr.  John  Allen, 175 

Mr.  'I'homas  Hanson, 181 

Mr.  Thotnas   Hanhj, 188 

Mr.  Thomas  Lee, -  2C2 

3Ir.  George  Story, 2>5 

Mr.  John  Mason, 232 

3Ir.  Thomas  Mitchell,  -  -  .  -  237 
Mr.  Eichard  Whatcoat,       -     -     .     .  247 

Mr.  William  Green, 252 

Mr.  Duncan  Wriglit, 260 

Mr  Robert  Wilkinson,  -  ^  -  -  277 
All*.  William  Ferguson,       -     -     -     -  2b5 


\ 


Xmi^rERSrfY  of  CAUFORNIil 
AT 
LOS  AlsGELES 
LBllARY     . 


Ub  bUU  I  MtHIM  HbUIUNAL  LIbRAHY  FACILITY 


AA    000  701  450    9 


BX 
8491 
E96 
1821 


